


The Traitorous Soldier

by Speedrunnermario



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Blood and Injury, Dialogue Heavy, F/M, Flashbacks, Implied/Referenced Suicidal Thoughts, Long fight sequences, Original Character(s), Originally Posted on FanFiction.Net, Threats of Violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-10
Updated: 2021-02-22
Packaged: 2021-02-28 17:55:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 34
Words: 291,074
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23411263
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Speedrunnermario/pseuds/Speedrunnermario
Summary: After discovering another one of Buddy Buddwick's journals from the Library archives, Steven and Connie set off to find out the truth about one of Pink Diamond’s most closely guarded secrets from the Rebellion. The tale of the organic that switched sides, and the consequences that their existence came with.
Relationships: Connie Maheswaran/Steven Universe
Comments: 8
Kudos: 46





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> The first part to this story, and the first one published on this site. This chapter is simply a glimpse of whats to come before the main story gets introduced, so I hope everyone enjoys it.

Footsteps.

Hundreds of them.

Chasing. Pursuing. Following.

Mindlessly. Endlessly, and without pause. Never stopping, not even for a moment. And they were getting closer. Rose Quartz, their target, their goal, their _prey_ , looked over her shoulder to see just how close they had gotten since their first appeared out of nowhere and began trailing after her. There were so many more of them now. So many that they had at least doubled in number. But this was no hivemind effect. Rose, along with Pearl, _her_ Pearl, had simply been in the wrong place at the wrong time. If these creatures were aware of each other’s existence, their blank, rage-filled expressions didn’t acknowledge it. They focused on nothing but the two Gems in front of them. 

And as much as she didn’t want to do it, she forced herself to look them in the eyes. Well, the ones whose eyes were still visible. The light, the _song_ , had changed them so much. Some had horns. Some had tentacles. Some still ran on two legs but most ran on four. And some were so grotesque that it was a miracle that they could even move in the first place. Their bodies were twisted, broken...corrupted.

But their eyes…

Rose let out a small gasp and then ripped her own eyes away as her gaze met theirs. She didn’t know what she was hoping for. Recognition maybe? A hint that someone was still in there? The Gem that they used to be?

But she didn’t see that. Those Gems were gone. Their eyes were cold and unflinching, looking akin to an organic corpses. Nothing lived in them. Nothing _had_ lived in them for a long time, and it was possible that nothing would ever again.

That was the price of her sins.

Another small gasp rang out to her left and snapped Rose out of her thoughts. She looked over and saw Pearl, running beside her, a look of horror plastered on her face. No doubt she had glanced behind them and saw the same thing Rose had. Their former comrades, chasing after them with a stare so dead and dark that no one would dare call them anything close to “alive.” Tears started streaming down her face, but she didn’t stop her mad dash. Neither of them did. To cease their retreat meant certain death at the hand of these monsters, and everything they had worked for would become pointless.

“There!” Pearl shouted/sobbed suddenly, pointing ahead of them. “I can see it!”

Rose looked ahead and a wave of relief crashed over her as she saw what Pearl was talking about. Their objective, at long last. A large, white, dome-like structure encased behind a pink transparent barrier. Directly in front of said barrier was a small pedestal, the symbols of all four Diamonds decorating it. Another identical pedestal was placed behind it, only inside the pink shield. That was it. That was their escape.

The two of them put on one last burst of speed, but the horde of beasts behind them seemed to realize what they were doing. Their prey was getting close to eluding them. And with a faint trace of whatever cognitive abilities they had left, the group decided as a whole that they weren’t going to let that happen. They roared collectively, making Pearl and Rose turn around reflexively, only to be greeted with more ghastly sights. Their eyes widened at the same sight they had seen earlier, with one small change.

They had increased in size _again_. So many. So many that it wasn’t even a crowd anymore, but a wave. A wave of living horrors crawling over each other in a desperate attempt to reach the two Gems. Some were even crushed and poofed by the sheer collective weight of the others, all of them scrambling, twitching, grasping, tugging, pushing, doing anything they could to get ahead. Their targets nearly screamed as they started hearing shattering sounds coming from the same place they had been standing in only a second ago. They were literally killing themselves in the process of trying to get to her and Pearl. It was madness, a scene straight out of hell, and the devil had seemingly sent his army out ahead of him.

But against all odds, they still managed to make it. The second they reached the pedestal, Rose slammed her hand down on it. It glowed brightly in response and the pink shield surrounding the dome faded into sparkles of light that hung in the air before vanishing. They rushed inside and Pearl placed her on the other pedestal, making the barrier reappear just in time. The hoard of corruptions slammed into it, several poofing or shattering on impact as others coming up from behind them flattened them against the pink wall. But they didn’t stop. They scratched and they punched and they kicked. Hitting the force field with everything they had. It vibrated and groaned in protest as they threw their bodies against it, but held. They would never be able to make it through like this. This shield was made out of the most cutting-edge Gem technology, and the only thing that could possibly hope to pierce the barrier physically was the force equivalent of a moon being thrown at it. 

And once the creatures realized this, they just started screaming in protest.

Rose and Pearl tried to cover their ears, but it was no use. It got louder by the second, and almost sounded like they were trying to communicate. The two Gems retreated towards the dome, Pearl pleads to make it stop barely audible over the din. When they reached it after what felt like an eternity, Pearl pressed her hand down on the final pedestal so hard that it almost seemed to crack under the force, and the featureless door in front of them slid open. They ran in and it closed soon after, trapping them in a sudden darkness.

The shrieks from outside were still perceptible, but had been dulled to the point where it was mostly tolerable. The two shaking and panting Gems let out a gigantic sigh of relief and sank to the floor, completely burned out from being chased like that. Neither of them wanted to say anything about it. But they knew they had to. They would never be able to ignore what had happened. It was a fact of life, now that they were forever trapped in this world.

As much as she wanted to just lie down and rest forever right now, Rose came to her senses as she lay there, not letting herself forget where they were. They still weren’t safe after all. If anything, they might have just traded one nightmare for another. She got to her feet and offered a hand to Pearl, who took it with gratitude after a brief moment of hesitation. Rose pulled her up and the two stood in a brief silence before Pearl broke it as her voice cut through the dark like a knife.

“We should have brought Garnet.” She said, her tone dripping with frustration. “If she was here, the three of us could have taken those things on. We wouldn’t have had to run for our lives like cowards.”

“There was nothing cowardly about that Pearl.” Rose scolded. “It was a matter of life and death. Even if Garnet was here, we wouldn’t have stood a chance. You saw how many of them there were. Nothing short of a Gem armada could have stopped that in a fight.”

Pearl sighed and listened to the faint screams from outside. “I still don’t understand why they ended up like that.” She said, her voice shaking as the shrieks somehow grew even louder. “That Diamond blast should have wiped everyone out, not turned them into monsters!”

“I have my own theories on that…” Rose said, before looking left and right into the darkness. “Are you sure we’re alone here?”

“Of course,” Pearl replied confidently. “If the intel we got from that crashed ship's database is correct, then all the Gems that were stationed at this lab were shattered. And if anyone did somehow manage to get out they either escaped off-world, or were turned into…” She looked at the door and gestured towards it. “...those.”

“Good,” Rose said, before taking a deep breath. “Okay, I’m not entirely sure why they ended up like that. Blue and…” She briefly paused, still hating the idea of even mentioning her former Diamonds, the ones she had promised to try and forget about. “...Ugh, _Yellow_ , never told me about anything like this when we discussed the Diamond attack we were supposed to perform during an emergency, so I’m sure that they would be just as surprised as we are if they came down here and saw what was going on.” She gritted her teeth. “Hopefully, at least. If these abominations exist in other parts of the Universe because of them…” She trailed off and didn’t finish her sentence, knowing that any threat she made towards them would be meaningless.

“Yes, but why?” Pearl asked, ignoring the last part. “Why were they corrupted like that? Did the Diamonds screw it up or did something else happen?”

“I believe it’s because it usually takes all four of us to wipe a planet completely clean of Gems,” Rose said. “But because I wasn’t part of it, the attack was incomplete, and it corrupted them instead of shattering us all.”

Pearl ran her hand over her Gem as she thought about this. “I suppose that makes sense. But...do you think it’s possible to reverse the effect?”

Rose looked into Pearl’s eyes, vibrant and full of life, which was a nice change from the ones that she saw earlier. But they were also desperate. Begging and hoping that Rose held the answer. Unfortunately, by this point, they had tried everything to fix them, and the only viable solution they came up with was to dissipate their forms and then bubble the Gem, ensuring that they would never wreak havoc on the Earth and its creatures. 

So there was no answer she could think of that she hadn’t already said.

“I-I hope so.” She stuttered, not knowing what else to say. “But for now, let’s forget about that and do what we came here for.” Her Gem then lit up and a bright light shone out of it, illuminating the surrounding darkness. Pearl nodded and her own Gem lit up a moment later, cutting a beam of blue light through the dark alongside Rose’s. The two summoned their weapons just in case the intel they had was wrong and moved forward, one step at a time.

The light beams reached all the way down to the end of the blank hallway they were walking in, the walls white and devoid of anything. They soon reached another door, which was the _real_ entrance to the dome. There was no pedestal allowing them to enter here, but it didn’t matter as Rose, wanting to get this over with as soon as possible, gripped the edge of the door with both her hands and ripped it open before throwing it aside. Normally she would try and avoid excess or wanton destruction, but the odds were that the inside of this building was already torn to pieces, so this was nothing but a drop in the bucket.

And once they peered inside, Rose found that he couldn’t have been more right.

The light beams brightened up a whole new passageway, completely different from the one they came from. This one looked like it had been split open by a rampaging beast. The walls and ceiling had giant holes in them surrounded by scorch marks, while the floor was covered with hundreds of Gem shards, dead and grey. Whatever was trapped in this building clearly took exception to being there, and had lashed out in the only way it could: By killing every last Gem it saw.

Pearl almost took a step back from the scene, her hands cupped over her mouth. She knew that it was going to be bad, but she definitely hadn’t expected anything like _this_. The Gems stationed here were not made for combat after all, so this was no battlefield. It was a veritable slaughterhouse. She spoke softly, her voice trembling. 

“Y-you don’t think whatever did this is still here, do you?”

Rose didn’t respond. She merely raised her sword and shield in front of her and entered the hallway, shards crunching under her feet as she made her way over them. Pearl gulped and followed, even if she _really_ didn’t want to deep down. She tried to step over the various remains of Gems littering the floor instead of ignoring them entirely, but it was impossible. Eventually, she gave up and walked normally, suffering in silence and shuddering each time one cracked under her feet.

The two traversed further into the building, passing dozens of rooms with the doors missing and their hinges lying vacant on the ground. They inspected each and every room, but only found the same thing. Smashed equipment, shattered Gems, and eventually piles of notes on all the projects that this lab had been built for. All of them were handwritten on sheets of ancient paper.

Normally, this would be very odd. After all, Gemkind had stopped using paper to store information tens of thousands of years ago. But during the war, measures had to be taken. Homeworld was forced to go back to the archaic technique of keeping physical copies of data, as a way of making sure that the only way the Crystal Gems could figure out their plans, blueprints, and the like was to storm the enemy base and steal the plans in person. A risky move no matter how they did it. 

This resulted in a lot of suicide missions, of which only one of those were ever successful. That had been a dark day. The one Gem that had come back practically looked shell-shocked and didn’t move or say anything afterward for almost a week.

But thankfully, like so many other horrors the war had brought, this strategy only came into effect near the end. But it had still been around long enough to cost the Crystal Gems some much-needed victories.

“Should we keep these?” Pearl asked, entering the room before picking up a few of the sheets and inspecting them. “I think they could provide us with a few things that would have been nice to know earlier.”

Rose nodded and agreed. “Store them all in your Gem. Every last one that’s still readable. We can look over them later, after we take care of everything here.” She paused and her expression turned morose. “But after that, we’re destroying them. What happened here shouldn’t be repeated.”

Peale responded with a nod of her own and began picking up huge stacks of paper and started storing them in her Gemstone, just like Rose told her to do. There was so much that even though her Gem had theoretically infinite storage space, she was worried that she wouldn’t be able to hold it all.

And this was still only one room. One of possible _hundreds_. The dome looked much smaller on the outside than it actually was.

Once Pearl was done, they moved on to the next room, then the next, then the next after that, the two of them repeating the process over and over like emotionless machines carrying out a single purpose. Pearl stored all the notes they found while Rose kept guard, keeping an eye out for any former occupants or experiment they might still be lurking around. But this was unnecessary, as they both knew this place was empty. Nothing but dust and echoes now.

Hopefully.

But this wasn’t to say that it was all the same. While the things they found early on all had a certain pattern to them, the rooms themselves became more and more different the further they went. Some were laboratories, some were storage rooms, and occasionally they came across what was clearly intended to be a holding cell. These rooms were easily the most damaged ones, as if whatever trashed them had a personal vendetta against it.

But all of that paled in comparison to what they found next. After a half-hour of slowly walking through the halls and turning corners, they finally found what they were looking for. A gigantic, metal door that stretched to the ceiling. The entrance to the _real_ laboratory. Like all the others, several large dents were visible on the door, but it was still mostly intact and not lying on the ground, proving that whatever had tried to break it down had ultimately failed.

But Rose didn’t. A quick glance downward proved that the Diamond symbol that unlocked the door was far too damaged to be of any use to them, so she reared her hand back and punched a hole straight through the thick alloy that made up the door, making Pearl flinch back slightly at the insane show of strength and causing everything around them to shake. Then just like she had done earlier, Rose stuffed both her hands in the hole she made and started to tear it open at a steady pace. After a minute or so of grueling work, she managed to make the hole large enough that both could enter if they did it one at a time.

So they did.

And were quickly rewarded with a brand new hell.

Inside was horrifying. Unlike everything else they had seen, it was entirely undamaged, but they somehow only made it worse. It only served to expose them to the terrible things that had been done in this place. Frankly, it’d have been better if this room was just as wrecked as the rest.

It was filled from top to bottom with equipment that looked like it came from the future, covered with plastic and electronic components that neither of them could recognize. A faint metallic smell filled the stale atmosphere, which Rose instantly recognized as the scent of organic blood. For a second she thought she could see a red mist hanging in the air, like particles of dust made visible in the sunlight.

She started to grit her teeth in rage as more of the room began to reveal itself. She realized that whatever had taken place in this lab, whatever those Gem scientists had _really_ been working on, it had happened here. This was ground zero. This was where they made _them_. And as she saw the various metal tools scattered on the floor and workbenches, her anger amplified as she began thinking about the tortures that they must have endured.

“I’m sorry…” She whispered, a single tear rolling down her cheek. A few questions popped into her mind as she felt more tears start to form. “Was it my fault? Am I to blame for this? Was it all because of-”

No. 

No, not here. Rose wiped it off and calmed herself. She had to remain strong. She couldn’t grow soft here. Not now. Not in this place. The place where so many lives had been lost for no good reason. She could cry about it later. But only later.

“Pearl.” She said, catching the latter’s attention, who was busy inspecting a machine with a rusty metal claw attached to it.

“Oh, yes?” She said, snapping to attention. “Is there something I can-”

“Do you see all the notes in here?” Rose asked. Pearl paused and looked around, spotting said notes in an instant. This was a treasure trove. Everywhere she looked she could see pieces of paper scattered about and piled high in enormous towers. And while they were mostly in the corners of the room, the stacks themselves were several feet tall. It would take days to go through all of them, the ones she already had in her Gem notwithstanding.

Pearl nodded. “Yes, what would you like me to-”

“Store them all in your Gem like the others,” Rose said, interrupting her for the second time. “Then help me find something to light a fire. We’re destroying this dreadful place as soon as possible.” As she said this, a sudden mournful look came over her face, one plastered with grief and regret. “There’s nothing left for us here.”

Pearl paused for a split second before nodding again. She slowly walked over to the stacks and began putting them in her Gem as before, thinking about Rose’s words while Rose herself stood in silence and stared at nothing. Thought of nothing. And felt nothing. Except for one little thing. How foolish she had been to not simply shut this place down once Blue told her about it. But there was so much going on, so much she had to do as Rose Quartz and Pink Diamond that she couldn’t find the time. There were battles to win, Gems to inspire, and a shattering to fake.

But she still had the time to yell at Blue about it. Chances for her to do stuff like that always seemed to appear, as if the Universe froze itself just for her.

“I’m finished,” Pearl announced a few moments later, bringing Rose back to the real world. “I have all the notes, although I will admit, storing this many things at once is starting to make me feel a little strained.”

“If it’s too much for you, we can leave some behind,” Rose said, not wanting Pearl to feel any worse than she likely already did from simply being here. “Maybe a few from the earlier sections if you need too.”

“It’s alright,” Pearl reassured her. “Trust me, this is nothing compared to that time Bismuth had me carry around all those giant sets of armor.”

Rose almost laughed. “I remember that.” She said. “You looked like you were about to…...what do the humans call it again? Throwing up?”

“I think the correct term is puking,” Pearl commented. “But that sure didn’t dissuade Bismuth.” She sighed sadly. “I wish she was still here all the time. The way she motivated everyone into fighting...even those things outside might not faze her from pushing on.”

“Yeah. She might have been the most Crystal Gem out of any of us.” Rose said, before looking away guiltily. “Even me…”

“Oh, I doubt that,” Pearl said, chuckling. “Like the leader of the Crystal Gems couldn’t be the most...Crystal Gem. Hm. We need to find a better description for us that doesn’t involve any repetition.”

“If you say so.” Rose concurred, forcing a smile to appear on her face. Much like this place, she couldn’t let that incident with Bismuth break her. Besides, it was like Pearl had said. Bismuth always kept pushing on, so they had to as well. In her memory. For what she believed in.

“Anyways…” Rose continued. “Are you sure you got all of them?”

“Every one that I could see…” Pearl replies. “Unless there are more that are somehow cloaked or hidden from us, we have them all now.”

“Good,” Rose said. “Time to bring this to a close. Do you have something in your Gem that can light a fire?”

Even though Rose has mentioned it earlier, Pearl was still surprised that they were going to set the lab ablaze this early on. “We’re going to burn this place to the ground already?” She asked, arching an eyebrow. “Just like that?”

“Of course we are,” Rose said. “Why are you asking?”

“Well, besides the fact that there might still be more things here that we don’t know about, I remember you saying that you want to preserve all the remaining Gem structures on Earth,” Pearl replied. “The ones that you built anyways…”

“Exactly,” Rose said. “I didn’t build this place. Blue did. And even if I had built it I still would have wanted to destroy it. The other Gem structures...I’m letting them stay here because they’re not doing any harm, and I’m fine with letting them survive. They’re nothing more than old memories and ancient ruins. That’s what they are now.” She then turned and gestured her hands towards the surrounding room. “But _this…”_

“There’s nothing in this place but _death_ ,” Rose growled. “Smell the air. Even after so long, it’s still heavy with organic blood. I’m willing to bet that for every successful experiment that those scientists pulled off, they had to murder a hundred others along the way. And those are likely just the non-sapient ones. I don’t even want to think about how many innocent humans they had to kill in order to create _them.”_

Pearl shuddered at the uncharacteristic outburst from Rose, knowing full well who “ _them_ ” was. The events of that day had lingered in her mind ever since they arrived, no matter how much she tried to ignore it. And Rose of course made an excellent point. The quicker the Earth was rid of this place, the better. But even so, there were still so many things Pearl wanted to know.

“So the notes…” She started.

“Will be destroyed after we read them, as I mentioned earlier,” Rose said. “I understand that it seems odd, but I want to know _how_ they did it, the real reason _why_ they did, and what they were _planning_ to do. It just...feels right.”

Pearl frowned but understood perfectly. She wanted closure for all of this as well. Besides, it wouldn’t have even happened in the first place if she had never requested (begged really) for a colony from the other Diamonds. Even if Blue had made the place without her knowledge, Pearl had no doubt that Rose felt at least a little bit responsible for its existence.

So without saying anything, Pearl’s Gem glowed and she pulled out her spear in a flash of light. She slashed one of the nearby walls in one quick motion, creating a small shower of sparks that landed on several bits of machinery. These instantly ignited into flames as if coated in oil, the fire spreading across them like water moving downhill. Rose and Pearl stepped back as the heat got more intense and the blaze slowly spread across the entire room, consuming everything and blackening it to the point of unrecognizability.

“How did you know it’d catch fire like that?” Rose asked, confused as to how Pearl knew exactly what she was doing with the sparks.

Pearl merely pointed her spear at a sign hanging on the wall that Rose had missed earlier, hidden by an ungodly amount of some substance that looked like a smile mold, combined with a few dried brown stains. The sign had a warning on it about fire, specifically about how it should never be brought into the lab. The rest of the text was too small to be seen from where Rose was standing but didn’t look particularly important. Why this sign was here, in the deepest part of the lab instead of at its entrance was anyone’s guess.

“Everything in this room is extremely flammable,” Pearl explained, as the flames started raging up and she and Rose quickly stepped out of the room, never to return. “That’s what the sign said. I assume it was made that way so that they could easily burn down the entire structure if it became a necessity. Although clearly, they never got the chance before the end of the war…”

Rose’s only response to this was a silent sigh as if this fact was tiring her, and the two of them walked down the hallway back towards the entrance in silence, the ever-spreading fire practically on their heels. Pearl glanced around until her eyes fell upon one of the many holes in the wall that they passed earlier, looking like it had been struck with a bolt of lighting.

“That reminds me…” She said, placing her hands inside the opening and letting its jagged edges scrape her fingertips. “I know this lab was Blue’s, but do you have any idea what caused all of...this? What exactly shattered all these Gems and tore everything apart? It couldn’t have been _them_ , because...well, because of that day.” Her gaze drifted to the floor. “But did Blue ever tell you about what she had those scientists working on here?”

Rose responded by slowing her pace for a brief moment, only for the heat of the fire on her back to remind her that they were still fleeing a burning building. She caught up to Pearl after a few quick steps and shook her head.

“Your guess is as good as mine. Although whatever it was...it was big.” She said, her tone indicating that she very clearly didn’t want to think about it. “Not to mention absurdly strong. Likely even stronger than most Quartz’s, if the materials this dome is made out of is anything to go by.”

“By the stars…” Pearl exclaimed, wishing that none of this was true, even if she had been literally walking in _their_ footsteps for the past half-hour. “What do you think those scientists did to them?” She pressed her hands together and started thinking hard. “We both saw them on that battlefield. The things they did. The things they...almost did…”

Rose flinched visibly.

Pearl calmed herself and thought about a much happier memory to contemplate on (it was hard) before asking her final question. “What could they have possibly done to make them that powerful?”

“I still have no idea,” Rose said again, once again admitting her cluelessness of the events that had taken place. “But that's what we’re going to find out with those notes. So we can make sure that no human, or any other Earth creature, has to suffer what _they_ did ever again.”

Pearl couldn’t agree more. An army of enhanced humans with speed and reflexes possibly superior to her own was something that would cause an abundance of problems down the line. Rose was right. Again. It all had to be destroyed. The notes might provide some closure for what happened here, but they still had to make sure that not a single scrap was left. If any humans found it and managed to copy what it said the results could be disastrous, messing with something that they couldn’t possibly understand.

And hopefully never would…

Rose was going to say more, but a small explosion from behind them made the two Gems realize that they should pick up the pace, so they ran through the lab and ignored everything else in their way. Before long, the half-wrecked door that Rose had shoved her way through was soon in sight, while the orange light of the fire was now so bright that they didn't have to continue using their Gems as flashlights. They jogged the rest of the way, Rose cursing the fact that they didn’t rush to get out to begin with. And while it might take a long time for the fire to do any real damage to _her_ , Pearl was another story. She had half a mind to just pick her up and carry her the rest of the way. 

But that was also unnecessary, as with the extra speed they put it the two of them made it with the fire far behind them. After another minute or so of escape, they had reached it again. The front door to the lab. Rose reflexively moved her hand to open it, but stopped when her fingers were only an inch from the pedestal. Because she remembered. Remembered what was waiting for them outside. The army of living nightmares.

Pearl saw the look in her eyes and knew what she was thinking. ‘There’s too many’ , the eyes said. ‘We’ll have to fight our way through to escape, but there’s too many.’

Pearl reached out and put her some on Rose’s, causing the love of her life, the constant fixation of her mind, _the whole reason she existed to begin with_ , to look down on her in fear. “It’ll be okay,” Pearl said, speaking in a manner that Rose had never heard her use before. “Listen. There are no more screams. Some of them had to have gone away. And who knows? Garnet said they’re similar to Earth animals after she fought a few of them. I’m sure that this fire will scare them off if we can’t.”

After Pearl said this, the two of them shared an affectionate look into the gaze of their parent, their souls staring into each others. Rose placed her other hand in Pearl's own and a few teardrops fell to the floor, creating a small puddle that seemed to sparkle in the firelight.

“Thank you, Pearl.” She said, before raising her sword in the air and summoning her shield. And as short as that had been, Pearl’s words still had quite an impact on Rose. She always seems to know what to say to make things right, no matter how short or meaningless it may seem to someone else. Without waiting for another moment, Rose finally pushed her hand forward and pressed it onto the pedestal, and a second later the doors to the outside slid open. They exited and examined the scene before them.

They were still there, waiting. But there were definitely fewer of them. And even the ones who were still standing outside the barrier looked to be growing bored. However, another small explosion was suddenly heard, this time ripping through the top of the dome, and it brought the monsters' attention back to the building and therefore the two Gems that they had previously been chasing down. The shrieks started up again and they pounded against the force field, which was slowly starting to fill up with smoke as large parts of the dome began to crumble and melt under the heat.

They had completed their mission. 

And now all that was left was to fight their way through the mob of their former friends, examine the notes, and maybe, just maybe, they’d get an answer to why all this madness was occurring in the first place.

Rose raised her two weapons, sunlight shining off of them and creating a glint in the eyes of all present.

Pearl pulled out her spear and pointed it at the horde, small tears staining her eyes as she knew what they had to do next.

It was time to put them to rest. Along with everything else that they had wrought since their moment of birth.

And maybe one day, _they_ could finally be at rest as well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, that's the end of the prologue to this story! Any reviews or critiques are appreciated and I hope everyone liked the beginning.


	2. The Journal

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Takes place a week after the events of "Prickly Pair."

Present-day...6000 years after the end of the Rebellion...

“I’ll be back in a while Pearl! I’m going to meet Connie at the library!”

“Alright! Have a fun time with her. And if you need anything, make sure to call me on-”

“On your phone, I know.” Steven chuckled, easily anticipating what she was going to say next. “You already told me that ten times.”

“Well, an eleventh couldn’t hurt,” Pearl said, smiling and giving him a wave goodbye.

Steven Universe, so-called “savior of the universe” smiled back and returned the wave, then quickly left the Beach house, ready to take on the world. He pushed open the newly installed door before taking in the salt air of the sea. After all those years of living right by the ocean, he had gotten slightly used to it, but it still hit him like a brick wall every time he went outside. However, like everything else life had thrown at him, he tried to up with it, eventually learned to enjoy it, and was now heading down the wooden stairs to the beach and towards his car.

This day was going to be a great one. He was sure of it. It had already been very productive, and Steven was sure that it could only improve from here. He had managed to convince the second of those Lapis Lazuli’s to live at Little Homeworld, helped the Earth and Heaven beetles move into their new home, (which was as big as a small dresser), and now he was going to go hang out with Connie at the town library. Frankly, it was one of the best days he had in a long time. 

After the whole cactus incident, Steven had severe doubts about whether life would ever go back to normal. He was sure that all his personal thoughts being revealed to the gems would have had more consequences. What he really thought of them coming to light in such an unprecedented manner was nothing short of bad luck and timing, but was still his fault no matter how he looked at it. But they were understanding as could be after he explained, as per usual, and he had had a pretty good string of good luck after that little disaster. Even if during that time, they had made him visit that...therapist. 

Even though the gems were as “Understanding as could be”, they were still all worried when he started listing his seemingly endless problems, so Garnet used her future vision and saw that plain old human therapy was the best solution for the whole situation.

Steven’s smile faltered slightly as he thought back to the recent sessions he had gone to. The past week he had been going to a therapist for an hour a day and just letting loose with everything he had been bottling up inside him. With the gems practically forcing him to go, and Steven not wanting to argue anymore after the Cactus Incident, the only thing he could do was sit down and talk. And they talked about so much together. Problems with the gems, with his friends, and with Little Homeworld. He explained every single horrible thing he was going through in meticulous detail. And the therapist just sat there and listened, calm as could be. Ever since he was born, Steven had never seen a person with a talent as good as theirs to just sit down and _listen _.__

____

____

However, despite how nice they were, he hadn't put much trust in the advice his therapist gave him. It sounded like a bunch of carefully worded cliches to Steven. He said at the end of the first, “I’ll try to do what you said, but to be honest, I don’t think it’s going to work.”

Boy, did he end up eating those words.

Because surprisingly, the sessions actually _worked _. Garnet’s prediction had been correct. After following the advice that the therapist had told him about being careful with his list of things to do, not letting his problems consume him, and always knowing that his friends still cared about him even if they left, he was shaping himself up. His general mood had increased, he was smiling a lot more, and whenever something got on his nerves, he always made sure to internally tell himself that he would get through it, even if it was annoying. It was truly working out. Well, most of the time anyway. He still had a few...outbursts, as of late, but they weren’t as bad as the ones from the week before. Everything was showing improvement.__

____

____

But he didn’t want to focus on his therapy sessions right now. He would rather focus on what he was about to do. His meeting with Connie. His current source of happiness.

And sure, she was only meeting up with him temporarily, but it was still something! He couldn’t wait to see her again. After everything he had been through, he just needed some time to relax with his friends. Although he still didn’t know exactly _why _he was meeting with her. She had texted him earlier that day asking him to come over to the library, and of course, he was happy to oblige. But that was all he told him, so he was still in the dark. But that was okay. As long as they came from Connie, he was fine with surprises.__

____

____

Turning on the ignition, the car purred to life and he slowly made his way down the beach, leaving car tracks in the sand and humming a tune as he moved along. He had been thinking of creating a new song on his ukulele, something about how friends come and go, but the closest ones will always come back eventually. Another small piece of advice from his therapist, due to how often people seemed to sing when he was around. He had already been thinking up some lyrics.

_“Even if some people turn away, the closest ones will want to stay.” _He sang.__

____

____

_“And if you’re ever feeling down, your friends will make sure you...you... _uhhh…” Steven then paused, struggling to find a good word that rhymed with “down.” But he didn’t mind. He didn’t turn pink like he usually would. It was still a work in progress after all. The only thing he wanted from the song was to finish it before Connie went back to her studies. It had been so long since he had sung something on his ukulele, and he had put it on a list of things he wanted to do with her. The two of them doing something like that together would certainly increase his general mood. Although he hoped he could find a proper time slot for it. The schedule was already-__

____

____

“Nope.” He said, quickly brushing that thought aside. “Remember what he told me. Don’t worry about your schedule. Nobody will be mad if you miss a thing or two. They’ll understand like they always do! Happy thoughts only. Think about...the beach! The sand! The waves! The tranquility of it all! The...the…” Steven sighed upon realizing that he was trying too hard. 

And unfortunately for his short-lived happy thoughts, thinking about the beach was no longer an option, as his car reached the end of it and hit the main road, moving into the part of Beach city that was actually paved. He sighed again and decided to just think about Connie. About all the books they would read. He wondered if the Unfamiliar familiar series would get a new entry soon. He still read them from time to time, although he really only reread his favorite moment from the series, that fifty-page description of the wedding cake. 

You know, happy thoughts.

Now passing through the main town, Steven rolled down his window to get a better look outside. All around him, humans and gems were publicly interacting with one another, a difference in species causing no problems in this beautiful exchange of cultures. He grinned widely, content that everything was still peaceful. As long as nothing else happened, his life was all uphill from here. Any dips that hill suddenly took notwithstanding.

Steven then knocked on the only wooden thing in his car, his ukulele, as he realized he might have just jinxed himself. He never was one for superstition, but considering how much everything had improved recently, an explosion of sudden bad luck wouldn’t surprise him.

“Hmm...happy thoughts only Universe.” He reminded himself.

_“And if you’re ever feeling down, your friends will make sure you never drown.” _He sang, taking his mind off the subject at hand. Well, that was another line done. With still many, many more to go. “Work in progress. Work in progress.” He said, not about to let something as simple as a _song _make him lose his calm. But he knew that if he was having trouble getting the right words, then Connie would be glad to help. Speaking of which…____

_____ _

_____ _

Steven’s smile got even wider as he jerked the wheel to the left and pulled into the library’s parking lot. It was small, but there were plenty of spaces left. He parked the car, exited it, and then locked it behind him. After making sure he had everything he needed, he entered the library and looked around for Connie, the old air that was exclusive to the building providing a pleasant cooling sensation.

“Steven!” A loud voice said, which was quickly shushed by at least twenty different people. Steven looked to his right and saw Connie practically running up to him, holding her backpack and looking like she had stayed up past twelve last night. Steven didn’t even have time to react before the girl reached him and embraced him in a tight hug. Steven's cheeks briefly flushed a deep red at the gesture before he returned the hug. The two continued to hold each other for a second before separating and smirking at one another.

“It's great to see you too.” Steven chuckled, his cheeks still slightly crimson-colored. “How have your studies been?”

“Ugh, don’t remind me,” Connie said. “But if you really want to know, they’ve been mostly fine. Except for the part where both my parents, especially my mom, who's constantly pressuring me to get on them. Also the part where I have to lift those fifty-ton books up and down the stairs each day. So yeah, it’s been going “fine”.” She briefly looked at the floor before turning her attention back to Steven. “But what about you? How have your therapy sessions gone? Is everything alright with those?”

“Ugh, don’t remind me,” Steven said, purposefully putting on the same face Connie had put on just a minute ago. “They’re super tiring, I can't ever get a break, and the gems are always pressuring and reminding me to go.”

“...You basically just said the same thing I did.” Connie pointed out. “Like, you literally used some of the phrases I used. I guess we’re on pretty equal footing here.”

“Hm. I guess...” Steven said. ”But it’s actually helped me a lot. A lot more than I would have expected it too. My life is improving for the sole reason of me listening to the advice of some guy sitting in a chair. Who knew that something so simple would be so helpful? I honestly wish I had done this years ago!” His voice was steadily rising as this went on, resulting in him getting a few dirty looks from people trying to read in peace.

Connie briefly snickered at this, and then continued her own explanation. “Yeah, it can get annoying at times. But I know that my mom and the gems just want what's best for us and me, so I don’t complain. At least...you, know, not in front of them.”

“So is your being here just an opportunity for you to vent?” Steven asked, greatly amused by the prospect.

“On no! you discovered my secret plan!” Connie said, faking a shocked tone. They both stared at each other before bursting out laughing, until several people shushed them again, getting annoyed with their constant noise. The two of them then decided that they should go somewhere more private to talk, and eventually found a table on the far side of the library. They both sat down befrienConnie set her bag on the table and began to unzip it.

“So, what’s the real reason you asked me to hang out with you here?” Steven asked. “Because if I ruined all your plans, then I suppose I should just leave…”

“Oh stop,” Connie said, knowing full well he was joking. “But really, I brought you here so we could check out _this _.” Connie then reached into her bag and pulled out a small journey, with yellowing paper that looked like it was hundreds of years old. Steven felt a sense of familiarity as he stared at it, and just as he was struggling to recall where he had seen it before, the memory hit him square in the face.__

____

____

“Is that Buddy Buddwick’s journal?” He asked, surprised to see the old book again. “I thought we had already gone through that thing. Although it does look kind of...different now?”

“That’s because it’s _not _the same,” Connie said proudly. “See, earlier this week, I was here looking for a book that could help me study, but it was an old one, so I went into the libraries archives to find it. I found this instead. Apparently, he had multiple journals that we never knew about. I flipped through it a bit, and from what I can remember, there’s a ton more illustrations he did, entries, all sorts of cool stuff. So I figured we could look through it together like we did that other time!”__

____

____

“That sounds...fun,” Steven said, the smallest bit of uncertainty creeping on the edge of his voice.

“Is something wrong?” Connie asked him, concerned. “I mean, if you want to do something else, then that’s fine with-”

“No no! It’s okay.” Steven said. “It’s just...this kind of reminds me of the old days. Like that one time you were talking about when we imagined Jaime as Buddy, only to discover he looked like _that _.” Steven pointed to a painting on the far side of the room, portraying an older gentleman that didn’t resemble the mailman in the slightest. “Just feels a little weird, you know?”__

____

____

“Hmm. Yeah, I think I get it. But hey, a blast from the past isn’t a bad thing!” Connie exclaimed, relieved that Steven’s problem with the book wasn’t something more severe. “Besides, if we’re going to spend time with each other, why don’t we do it the way we used too?”

“...You’re probably going to have to be a little more specific.” Steven jested.

“You know what I meant,” Connie said, laughing slightly. “So, are you up for it?”

“Sure, let’s take a look,” Steven said gleefully. “I wonder if he had any more interactions with the gems. His descriptions of them were hilarious to read last time.”

“Pretty sure I wrote some of them down to use later,” Connie said, before opening the first page. “Alright...Greetings to whoever is reading this. My name is Buddy Budwick, and this is my second journal chronicling my experiences with the species known as “gems. Recently, one of my latest discoveries was that...”

And so it went on. Slowly going through each page, the two of them soon lost track of time as they looked through the journal. Some of it was boring. Some of it had words from another time period they didn’t understand. And some of it was just a _little _too descriptive. But they got through all these sections with relative ease. Steven took notice of the fact that Connie started to get more and more excited as they got to the point she had been waiting for, the middle of the book, a separate section where Buddy had contained all his drawings.__

____

____

“Now for the best part.” She said, carefully turning the page so it didn’t rip. “Seeing all of his illustrations last time was easily the highlight.”

“Yeah, until those illustrations got me and my dad going to Korea and him getting kidnapped by Blue…” Steven said, getting vivid flashbacks of the whole event.

“At least you got him back,” Connie said, looking on the bright side of things. “And at least all the humans at the zoo are cool now. I hope I get to see them one day. They sound nice, based on what you told me about them. But all I have right now are the stories you guys explained to me…”

“Hey, to be fair, stories are most of what I have to deal with as well,” Steven said, resting his left elbow on the table and his chin on his hand. “Having my mom's gem made me have to sit through...quite a lot of meetings with the Diamonds and Pearl about gem stuff. I’d be lying if I said I _didn’t _have trouble remembering them all.” Steven threw his arms above his head and stretched himself out. “But it’s like you said. Those stories aren’t the same as actually living through it like they did.”__

____

____

“Wow. First the problems with studying and therapy, and now this. I guess we really are sinking in the same boat.” Connie said, although it was meant to be more of a joke than anything. “Now let’s get to the drawings. I don’t want to wait any longer.” Connie eagerly turned another page, while Steven suddenly looked at her like she was a new person.

‘Geez, all that studying took its toll on her.’ He thought. ‘She seems so excited to do this, but all we’re doing is flipping through this book! Sure, it’s fun, but I wonder how she would react if we did something a little more...exciting. Like going to the Temple or Little Homeworld and seeing the rest of the gems. Although I shouldn't be one to talk. I was practically ecstatic about this myself. Even after I learned we were just looking through that journal, I was-no, I still _am _thrilled to finally spend some time with her, and…...oh. Oh, I get it.’ Steven then cringed at himself internally as he understood why Connie was so happy. ‘She...she’s excited for the same reason I am. She’s just happy to be with me. I guess she was right then. We’re sinking in the same boat, and I suppose moments like this would be the equivalent of putting on a life preserver.’__

____

____

Steven sighed and hastily focused all his attention on the book, growing tired of his inner thoughts. He leaned up next to Connie, and she slid the book closer to him as the two stared down at the first drawing, as intimate and detailed as some of the world's finest paintings.

“Is that the Sky arena?” Steven asked, recognizing the depiction almost immediately.

“Looks like it,” Connie said. “Hey, didn’t you and Amethyst wreck that place? Pearl said that you two “ruined the ruins” when I asked why it was so beat up the next time we went.”

Steven rubbed his arm and looked to the side, doing a terrible job of acting like he’d done nothing wrong. “Yeah…” He admitted. “But it was an accident. We got kind of carried away, and we didn’t realize what we had done until it was too late.”

“No Pearl points for a while after that I bet…” Connie said, fully aware of Pearl’s award system.

Steven smirked in response. “I haven’t gotten one since actually. She still gets salty anytime we bring that incident up. Although I wonder if it was really about us destroying the arena, or that fact that me and Amethyst were fighting to begin with.”

“Probably both.” Connie deduced. “And by the way, how the heck did Buddy even get up there? Isn’t it in the...well, sky?” 

“Maybe it was my mom,” Steven suggested. “She did have those floating powers, or she could have taken him there with the warp pad.”

“I don’t know why, but I’m getting the feeling it was neither of those,” Connie said, staring off into space for a moment before an expression of enthusiasm crossed her face. “Anyways, next!” She turned the page again and the two were presented with a drawing of the entrance to Bismuth’s forge, with a few words next to it that said “locked?”, and “possible giant key.”

“Hm. I remember that place.” Steven said, leaning back in his chair. “Some good memories, some bad memories, some...neutral memories. I wonder what Bismuth’s doing with it these days. I haven’t visited that place since I convinced her to come to Garnet’s wedding.”

“It’s in good shape,” Connie said. “Bismuth took me there once, after the whole going to Homeworld and White Diamond thing, when I asked her where she made my sword. She took me there, showed me, and that was that. We didn’t stay for very long though, because after a few minutes, I felt like I was going to boil alive and literally ran back to the warp pad.

“Oh yeah, your sword.” Steven, having forgotten all about it, now that he hardly saw Connie anymore. “I notice you don’t have it on you. It’s back at your house then, right?”

“Yup,” Connie said. “Although my mother forbade from using it until I finished my studies. She said she hid in a place where I would never find it, although it’s painfully obvious that she just slid it under the couch and hoped I wouldn’t notice. If there’s ever an actual emergency again, I can just grab it and help out.”

“Nahhh…” Steven said, sensing an opportunity to tease her. “You should just stick to your studies. Even if the world is currently being destroyed, those books won’t wait.” He made sure his voice was dripping with sarcasm, letting Connie know he wasn’t serious. She briefly paused to laugh and then spoke up.

“Jeez, you _sounded _like my mom there for a second.” She said, almost disturbed by how familiar it was. “I could totally imagine her saying that.”__

____

____

“Glad to see I’m still good at impressions.” Steven beamed. “So what else did Buddy draw? What’s next?”

Without answering, Connie turned back to the book and flipped the page over to a new one, and they both stared down at an unfamiliar illustration. As far as the two of them could tell, It portrayed some kind of gem mural, with four figures present. The first two resembled his mom in her Rose form and Pearl, while another looked like Jasper. However, the fourth was a total mystery to both of them. They didn’t resemble a gem, but instead almost looked _human_. A battle was depicted raging around them, and Steven and Connie just gazed at the page, unsure of what to make of it.

“Have you seen this before?” Connie asked.

“No…” Steven said. “At least, I don’t think so? The style looks familiar, I think I saw it once on a mission to a Gem structure, but I never saw _this _particular drawing. I have no idea what this is.”__

____

____

“Only one way to find out,” Connie said, leaning down and closely inspecting every inch of the page. “Hmmm...looks like it’s from the Gem war, if all the fighting taking place around them is anything to go by. Alright. Three of these people I recognize instantly. Your mom as Rose Quartz, Pearl, and someone that looks like Jasper. I think Pearl is fighting Jasper here.”

“They are?” Steven said, sliding the book closer to himself to get a better look. “Pearl never told me she fought Jasper before. That’s actually kind of surprising. I mean, no offense to her, but the stats between the two are kind of…”

“Unfair?” Connie said. “Yeah, I’m not too sure that Pearl would last long against someone like her. Heck, I’m not sure if _any_ non-fusion or Diamond gem would last long against her. Wasn’t one of her nicknames the perfect Quartz or something? I don’t think a person called something like that would go down easily.”

Steven didn’t respond to this, instead getting a brief flashback of that time he turned Pink and literally beat Jasper into the ground. This then devolved into all the other memories of when he had turned Pink, and before he could start thinking about that time he had almost crushed his friends back on the beach, Connie snapped a finger in front of his face and brought him back to reality.

“Huh?” He said, looking over at her in surprise.

“Are you okay? You were staring into space for a second there.” Connie pointed out. “I asked you a question, but you didn’t say anything. You just sat there like some kind of zombie.”

“Oh, sorry. I’m fine.” Steven said, his memories now replaced by embarrassment. “I was just thinking about something. What’d you say?”

“I asked if you recognized this person,” Connie said, prepping her finger down on the effigy of the fourth figure. Steven took the book in his hands and stared long and hard at them, but even after several tedious minutes of him digging through his memory bank, he couldn’t figure out who they were. His mind was blank.

“Sorry.” He said. “I have no idea. I’ve never seen this person before. But didn’t you notice the writing on the page? I think Buddy took some notes on it.”

“There’s writing?” Connie asked, taking the journal back from him. And there was. Despite it being extremely small for whatever reason, there were a few words strewn about the page. Connie literally had to hold the book to her nose and squint to read it.

“It says...“traitor”...“sword”...and some word that begins with an L. I think it’s a name,” Connie said, before putting the book back down on the table. “Not that much to go on.”

“Maybe,” Steven said. “But don’t you think there’s something weird about them?”

“How so?”

“They’re not portrayed with a gem,” Steven said. “That means whoever this person was, they’re human.”

“Human?” Connie said, raising an eyebrow. “I mean, it makes sense that humans would fight for Rose during the war, similar to the stuff I did for the Crystal gems, but...if this person is human, then they’re on the wrong side. They look like they're fighting _with_ Jasper, not against her.”

Steven nodded and suddenly got an idea for what they could do next. One that he knew would be much more exciting for the both of them than just sitting there and asking each other questions over this and neither of them knew the answer to. “Hey, Connie.” He said, grabbing her attention. “You know what we should be doing instead of sitting here looking at this book? Solving this little mystery.”

“What...do you mean?” She asked.

“I mean, why don’t we go out and figure out whoever this is!” Steven said. “I don’t think we’re going to accomplish much here.”

“You think so?” Connie asked. “I won’t pass down the offer, it’s always fun to solve weird gem stuff, especially with you, but do you think this is really that important?”

“Could be. I need to think about it, but it looks like it could be important.” Steven said. “But it would still be fun to do, right? What do you say?”

“...Well, okay!” Connie exclaimed, surprisingly going along with it in a heartbeat. “I got today and tomorrow off from studying anyway, so we’ll have plenty of time. But...do you think _you_ have the time to do this?”

Steven pulled out his phone and looked at his schedule, a word which he had come to loathe with every ounce of his being. “I’m sure I can clear my...ugh, _schedule_ out for a little while. I'll just cancel some of the non-essential things, and hopefully, no one will bring them up later on.”

“Awesome,” Connie said, while Steven started clearing his day plan of the things he secretly didn't want to go to. (Which was most of them.) “So, where should we start?” Connie asked, flipping through the rest of the drawings. “Because I don’t see anything else in here about that picture, and none of what we read pertained to it either. Chances are we’re going to have to consult an actual person if we want to find out more.”

“Well, we can’t go to Jasper, because there’s no guarantee that the Jasper in the mural is her, and even if it is, she probably wouldn’t help us. She’s...kind of a loner these days.” Steven sighed. “So I guess we should go to Pearl.” He said.

“That’s a good idea,” Connie said. “I mean, besides the fact that she’s _in_ the drawing, who knows the most about gems? Pearl. Who keeps the most secrets? Pearl. Who has the answer to almost everything?”

“Pearl?” Steven guessed rhetorically.

”Exactly. I bet she knows exactly who this is, and she’ll be more than happy to tell us.” Connie said. “Besides, it’s not like there could be worse secrets out there than the one with Pink being your mom. How bad could it be?”

“Ehhh…” Steven said, hoping that Connie wouldn’t have to regret saying those words later. “I mean, Spinel was pretty bad, and I had no idea she existed until she showed up herself. There’s almost certainly more horrible stuff about my mom that Pearl knows that I don’t, and it just never came up.”

“True, but that doesn’t mean this is one of them,” Connie said. “Now, let me just put the book away, and we’ll head over to your house to ask her. I just hope she’s there.”

“She should be,” Steven said. “She doesn’t have much going on today.”

Connie nodded and then started to pack up, while Steven looked away and stared at nothing again. His level of excitement had dropped slightly and had instead been replaced with nervousness. It wasn’t just the feeling that this mural was another terrible secret waiting to be revealed, but also because he only told Connie part of the truth. Sure, he wanted to do this because it was fun and because he was doing it with her, but that wasn’t just it.

If an organic soldier had fought for Homeworld, then he wanted to know why. But more importantly, he wanted to know what happened to them, and how their battle with his mother went.

But as he thought about the possibilities of how that battle might have ended, he got a cold, nauseous feeling in his stomach. 

And he wasn’t sure if he wanted to know that badly anymore.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that ends the first official chapter to this story. I hope everyone enjoyed it and any reviews or critiques are appreciated.


	3. Here be secrets

After apologizing to the librarian for the ruckus they made earlier, Steven and Connie hurriedly left the library and headed towards the former’s car, the two of them ready to head over to the Temple and “interrogate” Pearl over Buddy’s journal. But before they had even made it halfway across the parking lot, Steven spoke up and posed Connie with a question he had been itching to ask ever since she had cheerfully agreed to come with to get help from Pearl.

“Hey...your parents will be okay with you going on another Gem adventure, right?” He queried. “Because what we’re doing right now might evolve into a full-fledged one. You know, the kind that might become long and...dangerous. It just gives me that kind of feeling.”

Connie nodded. “I’m sure they’ll be fine with it. But if it does escalate like you say, then I’ll call them so I can get their okay. Don’t want to risk my mother's rage. If anything bad happens to me, she might never let me see you again, no matter how much she may trust you now.”

“...I really hope that's an exaggeration.” Steven said nervously, cringing internally. “I’m on pretty good terms with your mom, and I’d like to keep it that way. I don’t want to know what could happen that would make her go that far.”

“I’ll admit, it was a bit of an exaggeration,” Connie said. “And you’re right. She likes you. She probably won’t blame you if things take a wrong turn. If anything, she’ll blame herself for not stopping me from going beforehand.”

“Eesh. I definitely don’t want that to happen. _I'd_ rather be the one to take the blame then let her feel guilty about it.” Steven said, biting his lower lip. “But if this does start to become something bigger than just a little investigation, do you think you could get your sword back from them? I mean, it’s not like I’m planning on fighting something, but maybe you should go grab it, just in case something attacks us, because that’s kinda the norm when it comes to this stuff.”

“I’m going to have a _really_ hard time convincing them, but I’ll try,” Connie said. “Tell you what, if this whole thing doesn’t end with talking to Pearl about the drawing, then I’ll try to go get it. “Just in case,” like you said.”

“Sounds like a good plan. But make sure to tell them why, and that anything that goes wrong is entirely my fault. Even if it means I don’t get to see you again for a long time, they shouldn’t have to feel guilty for something I did…” Steven said, and the two ended the conversation at that, even though Connie looked like she had something to say in response. They reached Steven’s car a few moments later and climbed into the passenger and driver’s seat, both of them putting their seatbelts on before the engine hummed to life and Steven rolled his way out of the library’s parking lot.

Seeing that they had a little while before they reached the Temple, Connie decided that now would be a good time to keep talking. “So...who do you think they are?”

Steven didn’t even have to ask who “they” were. “Who knows.” He said, deciding to answer as honestly as he could. “But I do know this. If they really are human, and they fought for Homeworld, _and_ if they were put on a giant mural like that, I feel like they had to be important in some way.”

“I suppose,” Connie said, looking out the window. “Although I guess they weren’t important enough for anybody to tell you about…”

Steven sighed. “Yeah. I guess. Which has basically been the theme for the past ten years of my life, if not all of it. But...what do _you_ think? Do you have any theories?”

“If I’m being honest? Maybe it’s some kind of misunderstanding.” Connie said, before reaching into her backpack and pulling out the journal. She flipped to the page with the mural and inspected it again. “I mean, Jasper, or at least, _a_ Jasper, is obviously fighting Pearl in the mural. She looks like she's throwing a punch, and Pearl is about to swing a sword at her. But...your mom and the other one are just staring each other down. They’re not fighting.” She turned the book towards him so he could take another look.

Steven, having stopped at a red light only a moment earlier, took the opportunity and glanced over at the page, where he could see that Connie was correct. Now that she had pointed it out, he could see that they didn’t seem to be attacking each other. It looked like his mom was just _talking_ to the figure. But then Steven noticed yet another detail that he had missed. One that disproved every single one of Connie's assumptions. Turning his eyes back to the front, he stepped on the gas after seeing that the light was green again and spoke up in a doubtful tone.

“I’m not so sure.” He said. “Look at their hand. Look at the sword they’re carrying.”

“What do you mean?” Connie asked, squinting down at the page. “Looks exactly like a normal sword to me, albeit a bit longer than what I would normally use.”

“Not the sword itself,” Steven said. “Look at the way they’re holding it.”

Connie stopped squinting to get a clearer focus of the entire picture, and instantly saw what Steven was talking about. The figure wasn’t holding the sword in front of them, but rather behind them. Almost in a manner that was similar to a murderer hiding a knife behind their back, waiting for the perfect moment to strike.

“Oh…” Was all Connie had to say as she understood. Whatever Rose was talking to this person about, they clearly weren’t interested in listening. 

“Yeah,” Steven said. “Maybe my mom is trying to talk to them to calm them down, convince them to stop fighting, or maybe even neither of those, but I think it’s plain to see that they weren’t friends. And that figure certainly wasn’t in the mood to sit down and have a pleasant conversation with her.”

“Alright. I was wrong.” Connie admitted. “But I still don’t get it. The Homeworld Gems were trying to destroy Earth! Why would anybody _from_ there want to help them? There has to be a reasonable explanation here.”

“You can ask Pearl when we see her,” Steven said. “As for now…” He turned on the radio and selected a random station. “I’m just going to enjoy some music before I learn about another horrible thing that my mother did. It’ll take some of the pressure off.”

“Yeah,” Connie said. “This music is-wait, what was that part about your mother?”

But Steven wasn’t listening anymore, and was already silently singing along to the radio. Connie paused, shrugged it off, and started to hum to the tune herself, and this continued for a few minutes as they made their way to the Temple.

But the closer they got to the beach, the harder Steven found it to concentrate on the music. Although he was now focusing on the radio so intensely that the lyrics had been burned into his brain, he could still feel them being drowned out. Drowned out by his uncomfortable feelings about this whole situation. 

But the problem was that he didn’t know _how_ to feel about it. On one hand, Connie may have been right. This whole thing with that mystery figure and the mural might just be one big misunderstanding. It was depicting a battle after all. Whoever made it probably couldn’t have safely gotten close to the actual fight. If they did, they’d risk getting caught in the middle of it. So it was entirely possible that they hadn’t seen things right, and they were interpreting it the wrong way. Or heck, maybe this was all Buddy’s fault and he hadn’t gotten the mural correct, thus making every assumption they had up to this point worthless.

But on the other hand...

That seemed too good to be true. After all, why _wouldn’t_ an organic switch sides? At the time, Homeworld was almost certainly better equipped, better prepared, and had significantly more soldiers fighting for them. If a human realized this, then maybe they decided that becoming a turncoat was the only thing they _could_ do to survive. But at the bottom of his heart, Steven knew that he was just thinking about why they were doing it to serve as a distraction. A distraction from the _real_ question he had. 

About what had happened to them in the end. 

And the more he thought about it, the worse it got. An organic soldier fighting for Homeworld felt like something Pearl or the other Gems would have taught him about by now. Unless, of course, they didn’t want to, like most things he learned about by accident. But why? What didn’t they want him to know this time? Think. What did he know? Whoever this organic was, they fought his mother at some point during the war. The mural said that much. They obviously lost, as evident by her surviving. But...what did she do to defeat them? If they never wanted him to know...if this was something that they had kept hidden...then there had to be a reason. A-and could that reason be that his mother might have possibly kil-

‘STOP IT.’ He thought, chastising his brain for daring to put those thoughts into his head. ‘Have you forgotten everything that your therapist told you? Don’t be like that. She would _never_ do something like that. Sure, she’s done some pretty bad things. But murdering a member of the same species she loved and always tried to protect? That’s insane. And what was that you said just a second ago? Learn another horrible thing about her? That was just being pessimistic. That’s not you. You’re Steven Universe! Bringer of peace across the universe! You have to honor your mother's legacy and what she did for the Earth! Even...even if she did things that you still don’t understand.’

Steven sighed and gazed out the window towards the far side of town, where Little Homeworld could be seen in the distance. Even from miles away, Steven could easily spot some of the larger Gems walking in and out of the front gate. He could almost feel the happiness radiating off of them, of all of them. Every single Gem there. Then he looked at Connie. Her eyes were closed, and she was silently nodding her head along with the music playing. She was happy too. Finally, he looked over at the street. The various humans and Gems he saw all wore gigantic smiles, all of them saying hello to one another as they passed by. If there was a competition for “friendliest city in the world”, then Beach city was sure to win. But Steven knew that was beside the point.

And as he thought about all these people, all the lives they led that were so much different from his own, he saw that they had one thing in common with each other.

Their lives were happy. 

And his wasn't.

Filled with joy and filled with laughter that was natural, not forced. But his......not so much. He was still miserable. His schedule (ugh!) was constantly plaguing him, the Diamonds were always a hassle to deal with no matter _what_ they needed, and days like today, where everything seemed to go right, were once in a blue moon. Less than a half-hour ago, he had been so happy. So glad to see Connie and spend time with her. But with this new mystery popping up, the all-too-familiar miserableness returned. It was like his body knew that it was all going to end badly, despite what he told himself otherwise. He almost rested his forehead on the steering wheel right then and there, his only wish at the moment to have the time to relax. 

‘I take it all back. The therapy doesn’t work as well when I really think about it. What I need is a vacation.’ He thought. ‘Like, a three-month vacation. Preferably somewhere quiet and boring. Maybe I can talk to the Gems about taking some time...wait. No. Not “maybe”. _Definitely_. That’s _exactly_ what I’m going to do. After I figure out who the guy in that book is and what happened to them, I’m taking a break. Quiet. Boring.’ He repeated. ‘Maybe some desolate planet in the middle of space. Then I’ll spend the days relaxing and spend the nights staring up at the night sky, free of responsibilities.’

For a second there, Steven almost felt like a prophet. In one way or another, he was _certain_ that he would get that three-month vacation. It might be a hard sell to the Gems and the Diamonds, but it’d be worth it. An entire quarter of the year off, all to himself, and hopefully Connie if he could convince her to come visit him. It would be glorious. He flushed all other thoughts out of his mind and focused on nothing else but the vacation. He had found what made him truly happy. Having no responsibilities, just like the old days.

Now wearing a “natural” smile of his own, Steven continued to think about vacations and desolate planets as his car made its final approach to the Temple. He was so invested in his private fantasy that he almost didn’t realize how close they were in time, and he quickly turned the wheel before the car went off the road and dove straight into the ocean. The car swerved and hit hard sand, and Steven slowed down so he wouldn’t accidentally crash it. That would be the last thing he needed, considering how he didn’t have any insurance at the moment. And sure, his dad was rich, but he’d hate having to put him through that kind of hassle because of his bad driving skills.

Sensing the sudden change movement, Connie opened her eyes and came to attention. “Are we here?” She asked, before looking around and answering her own question.

“Almost,” Steven said. “A minute more at most.”

“Okay,” Connie said, before getting a slightly worried expression on her face. “So, if Pearl’s not there, then what should we…”

“We ask Garnet,” Steven announced, having planned it ahead of time while they were packing everything up back at the library. “And if we can’t find her, Bismuth. Then Jasper, assuming the Jasper in the picture is...well, Jasper. And if she doesn’t know, then we keep asking around until we find someone that does.”

“Sounds like that might take a while…” Connie said, looking rather uneased at the fact that Steven listed Jasper as one of the people they might visit, despite her actually being in the mural.

“Yup. Which is why I’m counting on Pearl being at the house, and not having to do any of that.” Steven said. “I don’t plan to do it at all in fact. If Pearl’s not there, then I’ll call her on her phone, and then we wait. Even if it takes forever.”

“Are you sure?” Connie asked. “That might take longer than finding Garnet or Bismuth and asking them.”

“Maybe, but Pearl knows the truth better than anybody. I mean, she’s _in_ the drawing. Asking anyone else first would be a waste of time. Why eat around the edges of the cookie cat when you can take the whole thing in one bite?”

Connie giggled lightly at his analogy and sighed happily. _“That’s_ the Steven I know.” She said.

“Wait, what’s that mean?”

“Nothing,” Connie said, a knowing smile spread across her face. “Nothing at all…”

Steven looked at her in concern, wondering what she could have meant, but it would have to wait for later. They had arrived. Tires screeched and sand was kicked up as Steven parked the car next to the house in its usual spot. Both of them got out before Steven locked the car and the two headed towards the front door, walking at a rather leisurely pace. But just like Steven had done earlier at the parking lot, a rather concerned expression swept over Connie's face and she spoke up, a question on her mind.

“If Pearl’s still there, should we just ask her about it the second we see her, or should we try and lead up to it?” She asked, the look on her face becoming even more anxious the longer she thought about it. “Because if we do it on the spot with no warning, we might cause her to have some flashbacks of the Gem war, and I’m sure that those are pretty...traumatic. I’ve seen it happen more than once before. It didn’t really end well.”

“Hm. Traumatic is a good word for it.” Steven agreed. “Yeah, we’ll lead up to it. We can say hi, tell her what we’ve been doing, and then ask her as casually as possible. Best not to drop it all on her at once. Heck, she may react badly even if we _do_ take our time. It’s almost impossible to tell sometimes when it comes to this kind of stuff.”

“Noted,” Connie said. “We just have to be careful with our workings and timing. But other than that, I’m sure it’ll be fine.”

Steven resisted the urge to comment on how each time he talked to Pearl, he risked opening Pandora’s box. Her reactions were unpredictable sometimes. He wondered how many things about her there were that he still didn’t know, and how many of them he wasn’t even supposed to know. Because at this point, if he wasn’t aware of something, then it either wasn’t important, or she had a _very_ good reason for not telling him.

Steven brushed this off as quickly as it came, remembering what was important right now. He walked over to the new door and pushed it open, and both he and Connie sighed in relief when they saw Pearl inside, just like they had hoped. She appeared to be baking something over by the kitchen, if the open cookbook and numerous pans that were out were any indication.

“Hey Pearl.” He said, announcing his return. “I’m back, and uh, Connie came back with me.”

Pearl looked over from the oven and grinned when she saw the pair standing in the doorway, although she didn’t seem particularly surprised that Connie had come back with Steven, but instead relieved as they had been.

“Ah! Perfect timing.” She said. “These are just about done.” She turned back to the oven and glanced at the timer, which read two minutes. Steven sniffed the air and caught a whiff of what smelled like cinnamon, cooking dough, and another ingredient he didn’t recognize. 

“That smells good.” He commented. “What are you making over there.”

“It’s a surprise,” Pearl said enthusiastically. “But I will say that I made enough of them that you and Connie can share. And...there might be some for Amethyst later on.”

“Did...you know I was coming here?” Connie asked. “Or did you just assume that I would?”

“The first one,” Pearl said. “I saw Garnet a minute or so after Steven left. She was heading to little Homeworld, but before she did she said that you were coming back with Steven and that you two would appreciate a snack, so I acted accordingly.”

“Really? That was really nice of her to tell you that...” Steven said, although he did catch the hint of a hidden agenda from Pearl’s tone. “Well, thanks Pearl! I’m already pretty hungry anyway. What about you Connie? Are you going to want any of...whatever this is?”

“Definitely,” Connie said, nodding her head. “I haven’t been eating a lot lately, because of all the studying I’ve been doing. A snack would be nice.”

“As long as it’s not ridiculously healthy,” Steven said, before looking back at Pearl. “But did Garnet tell you anything else, Pearl? Maybe something about a...um, journal, or questions that two people in particular might have for you...”

“Not that I remember.” Pearl enunciated, her eyes darting to the side as she noted the peculiar specifics of Steven’s statement. “She didn’t tell me anything else. I think she was in a hurry to get somewhere.”

“Okay…” Steven said, unconvinced.

“Sure…” Connie said, equally unconvinced.

There was an awkward silence, which Pearl broke after a few seconds like she couldn’t take it.

“But do you ask?” Pearl said. “Is there something going involving journals and questions with you two?”

“We’ll tell you that in a bit.” Steven said, remembering their plan to “lead up to it.” “But for now, how is that snack surprise of yours doing? How much longer is-”

Steven’s question was suddenly interrupted/answered by a loud beeping sound from the oven, signaling that Pearl’s treat had finished cooking. She slipped on a nearby pair of oven mitts before opening it and taking out a burning metal tray, fanning some of the smoke away in the process. The smell was ten times stronger now, and Steven instantly knew for a fact that Lion or Amethyst wasn’t anywhere in the vicinity, otherwise both of them would be on top of this by now.

Almost like a presenter at an awards ceremony, Pearl slowly turned around and showed them the tray. Both Steven and Connie leaned forward to see what it was, and were presented with a giant tray full of cinnamon rolls, shaped like roses with the icing somehow already applied onto them.

“Wow. They look amazing!” Connie said, before tilting her head at their appearance. “Wait, how did you get the icing on there already? I’m sure you’re supposed to apply that after you cook them…”

“Oh, that was something special I added to it,” Pearl said. “It makes the icing heat up as well, but not melt anymore than it has too.”

“What did you add to it?” Steven asked.

“......Something special.” Pearl hesitated, obviously hinting that she didn’t want them to find out.

“It was something disgusting, wasn’t it?” Steven deduced, already knowing the answer to that question.

“Not really,” Pearl said. “Well, I suppose it depends on what you consider disgusting...”

“Forget it. I don’t want to know.” Steven said. “Don’t ruin them for me before I even take a bite.”

“Good, because I don’t think I would have told you anyway,” Pearl said, before setting the tray down on top of the oven. Steven then looked at Connie and realized they both had matching expressions. It was interrogation time. Real slow-like.

“So...as we wait for those to cool, can me and Connie ask you something?” Steven queried. “It’s really important.” 

Pearl froze for half a second and then straightened herself. “Sure!” She said. “But first, can I ask how your time together at the library was? Did you two have fun together?”

“I guess so,” Connie said. “It was fine, all things considered. We made a bit too much noise, and it didn’t last as long as I had hoped, but it was still pretty fun.”

“Did you see anybody there that you know?” Pearl asked.

“Nope. Not a one.” Steven said, before signaling to Connie to get the Journal out. “Now, Connie has something to show you, and we could use your help-”

“Before that…” Pearl interjected, seeming quite adamant about avoiding Steven and Connie’s inquiries. “Why don’t you tell me the rest of your plans for today? I’d like to know what you’re planning to do, in case you two want me to make dinner tonight if Connie’s staying long, or...um…something...”

Steven groaned. He knew what she was doing. Trying to avoid the inevitable conversation about the mural they found in Buddy’s journal. What had tipped her off? The earlier comment about it? The way he asked? Or maybe she just didn’t want to talk, and her cheerful demeanor at the moment was also being faked. But it didn’t matter anyways. He had been through this before, and he knew what to do to get her to stop.

“Pearl, I know what you’re doing.” He said. “Why are you avoiding what me and Connie have to say so much? What’s wrong?”

Pearl’s nervous smile vanished in an instance and transitioned into an equally nervous frown. She glanced over at Connie, who was giving her the same look Steven was. Accepting defeat that both of them had figured it out, she let out a silent sigh and decided to tell them the truth as best she could. There was no hiding it anymore.

“I was avoiding it because I lied earlier.” She revealed. “Garnet did tell me more. She also saw that when you two got back here, you would show me something that would make me extremely uncomfortable, and the entire situation might end badly.”

“Oh…” Steven said, slightly annoyed that Pearl had lied to them but now understanding why she was acting this way. Now he wasn’t so sure if he should continue with the interrogation, or if he and Connie should just drop it. Making Pearl uncomfortable was the last thing he wanted right now, and it created a rift between his conscience and his curiosity that made it impossible for him to choose.

Luckily, Connie chose for him.

“It is okay if we ask you anyways?” She asked. “I mean, we don’t want to make you uncomfortable, but when you see what we want to show you, I think you’ll understand why we think you’re the best person to talk too.”

Seeing their pleading faces, Pearl knew that putting it off would do nothing but make it worse. 

“Well alright.” She said. “Let’s sit down on the couch, and you can show me whatever you have. I promise I’ll help out whatever way I can.”

Steven and Connie grinned slightly at this, happy to finally get through to her without much backlash. Even though it had been less than a half-hour since they had seen Buddy’s drawing, the fact that it had been on the top of their minds for that whole time was starting to take its toll. They all sat down on the couch, with Pearl sitting between the pair with her fingers intertwined while Connie dug around in her bag for the book. When she found it, she hastily pulled it out and set it on the table for all to see.

Pearl’s head tilted slightly upon seeing the journal, like a confused dog watching their master do something ridiculous. “Didn’t you already show me this?” She asked. “Right before the whole zoo incident?”

“This is a different journal,” Connie said, giving her the same answer she gave Steven. “Buddy wrote more than one, and I stumbled upon it in the library archives. Steven and I were looking at the illustrations, and we saw a drawing that we didn’t recognize. A drawing...with you and Rose.”

“With me and Rose?” Pearl said, fearful of how Buddy might have portrayed her. She could already see it. A comically long nose, limbs that looked too thin to hold anything, (which admittedly, was exactly how her natural limbs already looked) and probably getting the hair all wrong as well. It would basically be her in caricature form, only ten times worse.

“Yeah,” Steven said. “And Jasper. Or a Jasper. We weren’t exactly sure if they’re the same Gem, just like how we don't know who the fourth person is.”

“Fourth...person?” Pearl said, feeling a flashback coming on. But that wasn’t just it. In an instant, she knew what battle they were talking about, and the feeling of dread in her Gem had multiplied itself by at least 6. Her earlier fear about Buddy’s portrayal of her was long gone, replaced with something much, much deeper.

“It’d be better if we showed you…” Connie said, flipping the book to _that_ page. She took the now open book in her hands and handed it over to Pearl, who studied the illustration for a brief moment before involuntarily dropping the Journal and putting her hand to her mouth in shock.

‘Oh boy.’ Steven thought, mentally slapping himself. ‘That’s not good. Maybe we should have waited a little while longer…’

But while Steven was keeping his thoughts to himself, Connie wasn’t, and quickly made sure that they hadn’t accidentally given Pearl a mental breakdown. “Pearl? What’s wrong?” She asked, picking the book back up and placing it on the table. “Are you okay, or do we need to-”

“Mmgh...” Pearl said, her voice muffled behind her hand. But even if they couldn’t understand it, Steven and Connie could still detect the nervousness in her voice. Steven recognized it as was the same tone she had while trying to tell him the truth about Pink, and his uneasiness with the whole situation suddenly spiked as well.

“What?” Steven asked. “What did you say?”

“I...nothing,” Pearl said, reluctantly taking her hand away from her mouth. Her voice was shaking along with the rest of her body like a person stuck in a blizzard. “It’s just...I haven’t seen this mural in so long. I thought it was destroyed hundreds of years before Buddy was even born. How on Earth did he manage to draw it?”

“Your guess is as good as ours.” Steven shrugged. “But...that is you, isn’t it? And mom. And the Jasper in that mural is the same Jasper that fused with Lapis, tried to build an army, got corrupted...all that, right?”

“...Right.” Pearl said, taking a moment to pause. “That is the same Jasper. I can’t believe I had almost forgotten all about that fight I had with her. Although I’m sure that she forgot about it well, as you saw back when she first came to Earth. She hardly even recognized me. I can’t believe that…” Pearl trailed off, whatever she was about to say clearly not important enough to reveal aloud.

“But...if you had almost forgotten about it, then why did you react like-”

“Primarily because I only forgot about the fight with Jasper because of how overshadowed it was by other things happening,” Pearl said. “I can easily recall everything else that this mural is showing.” She then put on a face that looked like she wanted to run away and hide, and Steven prepared to grab her in case she did just that. “Especially the part that I assume you two are here for…”

“The fourth figure,” Connie said. “The human that fought for Homeworld.”

“Wha-how did you know about that?!” Pearl asked, her eyes widening in surprise. “Who told you? Was I really the first person you went to for this?”

“No. You’re the first. And we weren’t completely sure.” Steven said, flinching away from her after the frantic line of questions he had just received. “Or, at least, Connie was still having some doubts. We only assumed that because they‘re not shown with any kind of Gem, unlike the rest of you guys. As for the whole fighting for Homeworld part, they’re obviously facing down mom. _With_ their sword held behind their back like a hidden dagger. It was actually really easy to figure out.”

“Oh…” Pearl said, not knowing how else to respond to this.

“Also, you just confirmed it,” Steven said. “Cats out of the bag.”

“Not the entire cat,” Connie said. “More like a paw, and that’s being generous. Listen, Pearl, if this is too hard for you, you don’t have to tell us, but can you at least direct us to someone who-”

“No. It’s fine.” Pearl interjected, even though it clearly wasn’t. “I should have known this day would come eventually, just like all the other days like this. I just never told either of you since I never thought it wouldn’t be important again. It was such a minor event in the war compared to everything else. Only me and a few other Crystal Gems ever knew it happened. Although I never imagined that that mural would ever come into play…”

“You said you thought it was destroyed,” Steven said. “Did you and mom purposely destroy it? So nobody would ever know about this?”

“...Yes.” Pearl said, shame apparent in her eyes. “That’s why I’m confused. Buddy should never have been able to draw this. The mural simply _didn’t exist_ at the time.”

“Maybe there was more than one?” Connie suggested. “Like how some Earth paintings have copies, maybe somebody created another one of these murals, and you guys never found it.”

“That’s impossible,” Pearl claimed. “Me and Rose combed the entire planet for all remaining Gem structures. The ones that weren’t doing any harm, we left alone. The ones that had the potential to harm the Earth we destroyed or deactivated, like the mural and all the injectors. Along with...one other place.”

“What other place?” Steven asked, lifting an eyebrow.

“I’ll tell you soon,” Pearl said, with a look of regret plastered in her face. “It is part of this story after all…”

“Okay,” Connie said, shifting herself on the couch. “I’m gonna ask outright. Who were they?”

Pearl took a deep breath and prepared herself. Taking them into her Gemstone like she did with Steven to reveal the truth about was not an option, so that only left telling them about it the old-fashioned way. The memory that this mural portrayed was not anywhere in her Gem, as she made sure to erase it. But while she could erase the memory of it, she still had her feelings, which allowed her to recall every single detail via the emotions she felt, no matter how much she tried to delete them.

“They were a human soldier.” She said, her voice dry and quivering. “I didn’t know their real name, how old they were, or even what group of humans they used to belong too, but I do know this. Sometime during the Gem war, they were fighting for the rebellion, and-”

“Humans fought for the rebellion?” Connie interrupted, Pearl’s claim confirming her earlier theory. “Kind of like...I did for the Crystal Gems?”

The Gem paused and thought about this for a moment. “I suppose you could put it like that. Although you’re more knowledgeable about Gems than those humans were, so it was hard for them to win any fights. Or get close enough to begin with. We tried to explain to the ones that listened, but they mostly kept to themselves, attacking any Gems they saw, no matter if they were from Homeworld or part of the rebellion.”

“Yeesh,” Connie said, wincing at the images put into her brain. “Was this human one of them? Or did he try and listen to you guys?”

“I’m not entirely sure,” Pearl said. “Everything I’m telling you is either from gossip I heard from other Gems, which was inaccurate at best, or from the endless amount of files we found in the lab. That's the thing that changed them in the first place, so it had the most information on them. But we never found out their origins. For all I and Rose knew, that part of their lives was erased from history.”

“Lab?” Steven said.

“Changed...them?” Connie said.

“More on those two in a second,” Pearl said. “We didn’t and never knew much about them before they fought for Homeworld, and that’s the way it’s been since. But like I was saying, they fought for Rose’s Rebellion. At some point in time, however, they were captured in battle by a grip of Quartzes. Now normally, organics who were taken prisoner were either killed or sent off to live at Pink’s zoo, but I know for a fact that their fate was something else entirely. They were sent to some kind of lab. A lab where Homeworld scientists had a field day experimenting on organic beings. It was the main research facility on Earth for organic life. And they were the first and _only_ human test subject that was there.”

“A lab…” Steven repeated. “I take it this was the “other place” that you and mom destroyed?”

“That’s right,” Pearl said. “We burned it to the ground near the end of the war. After, of course, learning everything we could from it. But it had to go. Calling that place a lab isn’t even accurate. It was a slaughterhouse if anything. Truth be told, that human might have been the first being they _really_ experimented on. But as for the rest, they...weren’t so lucky. When Homeworld saw the lack of intelligence that was present in most Earth life...” Pearl then stopped mid-sentence, as if struggling to speak further about it. “Well, I’m sure you can guess what they did. They had no use for them, and Homeworld and Gemkind as a whole had no place for things that were considered useless.” She finally said, putting it as lightly as possible.

“What exactly...did they do to them?” Connie asked, curious about Pearl’s mention of experimentation. “How did they change him...or her.” She frowned and looked down at the book again. “Hm. What gender were they by the way? Because honestly, it’s kind of hard to tell…”

“They were _originally_ male,” Pearl said. “But according to the notes that I and Rose found, they didn’t really...have a gender after the experiments.”

“Oh,” Connie said, misunderstanding the meaning. “Well, okay. There’s nothing wrong with choosing to be-”

“That’s not what I meant,” Pearl interjected. “It wasn’t by choice. The first thing those Gem scientists did to that human was make sure that everything that made them “human” was forcefully...stripped away, so to speak. That’s why I’ve only been using “them.” They weren’t a “he” or “she” after what those Gems did. Me and Rose only figured that out, later on, looking through all the info we got from the lab. The descriptions were...vivid, if nothing else.”

“Yeesh...” Steven said, disgusted/horrified at the images and ideas that were being put into his head. “Okay, the implications of everything you just said is disturbing. I’m never going to try and think about _how_ they did that.”

“Agreed”. Connie said quickly, equally disturbed. “Time to change the subject. Pearl, what did they do after that? You said they changed them, and I’m sure it was in more ways than...that, so what else did they do?”

Pearl contemplated this for a moment before answering. “Well, besides making them effectively genderless, Homeworld also managed to enhance their physical abilities. Whatever they did made them stronger as well as faster. I don’t know how, Rose wasn’t sure, and the notes we found said nothing on the actual process, just the results. We only assumed that they somehow altered their DNA, but even that explanation didn’t make much sense to us.”

“Could they have been another hybrid?” Connie asked. “Steven’s a lot stronger and faster than regular humans because of his Gem side. Could this be something similar?”

“No, they didn’t have a Gem,” Pearl said, quickly disproving that theory. “They didn’t have any special Gem abilities like Steven has. No shapeshifting, no warp pad activation, none of that. Those notes we found detailed the tests that were conducted to study that aspect of them. And there were so many notes to go through...”

“It’s a real shame you burned them,” Steven said. “If you still had them, this conversation might have never had to happen. You could have just handed them to us and told us to start reading.”

“You wouldn’t have been able to understand them anyway,” Pearl stated. “And there were good reasons for what we did. We couldn’t risk Homeworld creating another enhanced human with that research, and Rose hated the idea of allowing something so barbaric to go on.”

“Well... _how_ enhanced were they?” Connie asked. “How much of a boost did those experiments give them?”

“It put their strength on par with a Ruby,” Pearl said, although she sounded unsure with this answer. “Granted, that’s not very high, but it was still insanely strong for a human. Especially one of their stature. I’ll admit, they were rather small.”

“The smallest things usually hide the biggest secrets,” Steven said, remembering his experiences with Peridot’s Robonoids and Lapis’s mirror. “But what about their speed? You said it made them faster as well.”

“Ah, I don’t even know where to begin with that part,” Pearl said, now putting on a tone of extreme irritation. “The strength was one thing. Ridiculous as it was, I _could_ see that happening, but only with the most advanced Gem tech at the time. But their speed was utterly ridiculous. They had a reaction time better than perfect, they never hesitated while attacking, and I think at one point they moved so fast that it practically left an afterimage, like a character in that odd TV show Ronaldo tried to show me when he wanted to be a part of the team.” 

She sighed in exasperation, clearly fed up. “Everything I’m telling you isn’t from those notes, but from what I saw during their fight with Rose. And I’ll admit it, they might have even outclassed _me_ in terms of speed. The best way I could describe it is ludicrous. Just…...” Pearl then suddenly stopped talking, evidently unable to continue. Although this didn’t matter. She had made her point crystal clear. But Steven and Connie looked at her in awe, wondering if they were hearing things correctly.

“Seriously?” Connie asked, unable to hide the expression of shock on her face. “A human. Faster than _you?”_

 _“Enhanced_ human!” Pearl blurted out, refusing to let herself sink to any kind of level that wasn’t her own. “Heavily, heavily enhanced. And this is only an assumption. I never fought them myself. I only ever watched them engage in combat.”

“Wow,” Steven said, rubbing his hand over his scalp. “That’s a lot to take in. I don’t really know what to say next. It’s just so much.”

“I’m sorry I never told you about it before.” Pearl apologized. “But nobody ever brought them up, and I thought all traces of their existence had been destroyed. I truly saw no point.”

“It’s fine,” Steven said, although he slightly self-doubted that statement. “There’s always going to be things you guys don’t want to tell me, either because you don’t want to, or because they won’t ever be relevant.”

“That’s only partially true,” Pearl said. “While yes, I could go on for hours about things that I’ve never revealed to you, such as the countless events and battles of the Gem war, most of the things that I would rather you didn’t know about a few years ago are already out there.” Pearl then turned her head away from them. “Well, it was mostly just one thing…”

“Gee, I wonder which one that is…” Connie said jokingly, trying to lighten the mood somewhat.

Pearl smirked. “Yes, although there are still a few that I have in mind. But like you said Steven, they won’t ever be relevant. This human won’t ever be relevant again. As I’m sure you’ve guessed, they’re long gone.”

“Actually, that reminds me of something,” Steven said. “What exactly happened to them? What happened during their fight with mom? How did she...win?”

Pearl suddenly made a face like she had been shot, which did not go unnoticed by Steven and Connie. Steven let out an annoyed humming sound, sensing what was coming from a mile away. Yet another terrible secret. He honestly didn’t want to hear it. He had already said back at the Reef that he was sick of hearing about all the crappy stuff that his mother did. But even after all that, he still felt like he had an obligation to know. He’d rather not lose sleep over this when he could just find out and get it over with.

“Well…” Pearl said, unsure of how to put it. “Steven, do you remember how I couldn’t tell you the truth about her directly because she gave me an order to never tell anyone?”

“Yeah…” Steven said, getting an idea of where this was going.

“It’s the same thing with this,” Pearl confessed. “After the fight, she ordered me to never tell anybody about what happened. And that order is...still in effect. She said that it would make her…” Pearl paused and visibly struggled to not raise her hands to her mouth. “...no, I can’t say that either. But that’s what happened. So I’m sorry, but I can’t tell you.”

“Why did she do that?” Connie asked. “What could have been so bad that she placed another gag order on you?”

“Like I said, I can’t tell you,” Pearl repeated, appearing to. “But I do understand why she wouldn’t want anyone to know.”

After a brief silence, Steven spoke up, his voice as cold as ice.

“Pearl…” He started, afraid to ask his next question but refusing to let it go. “Did this person...survive the war? Did mom k-” He hesitated again, the words barely able to leave his mouth.

“Did mom kill them in that fight?” He finally spat out, clasping his eyes as he said it.

Pearl’s entire body tensed up at the question, looking like the imaginary bullet wound she had suffered earlier was now bleeding profusely. 

“No.” She finally said, staring them both dead in the eye. “They didn’t die. They fought Rose, but retreated after she gained the upper hand and told them to leave. That’s all I can tell you. Anything else would be breaking that order she gave me.”

Steven looked deep into Pearl’s own eyes. They were nervous, twitching, with slight tears forming in the edges of them.

But he could tell she wasn’t lying. 

And that was all the confirmation he needed. His mother wasn’t a killer. He let out an enormous sigh of relief and leaned back, letting himself sink into the couch cushions. 

“Thank god…” He said. “Ever since we left the library, I was worried that she had stabbed them with her sword or sliced them in half or something. I really thought that she had gone so far as to _murder_ one of the humans she had sworn to protect.”

Steven said this with nervous laughter, while the look on Pearl’s face got even more anxious. She hid it as best she could, but it was still painfully obvious. “I’m so sorry...” She whispered, so low that only she could hear it.

“What?” Steven said, staring at her with an accusatory glance.

“It‘s nothing.” Pearl stammered. “But now that the hard part is out of the way, do you two want to know anything else?”

“Uh, yeah,” Connie said. “Can’t you just bring us into your Gem and show us what happened like you did with the truth about Pink? Steven told me that’s how he found out.”

“It’s not that easy,” Pearl claimed. “I erased the memory of the fight that was stored inside my Gem. I can still _remember_ it with the feelings of the event, but I can’t show it to anyone else because it doesn’t exist anymore. I only kept the memory of Pink because of how important it was.”

“Hm,” Connie said, clearly disappointed. “That’s kind of a shame. I’ve always learned it’s better to show, not tell. And unfortunately, this entire conversation has been nothing but the latter…”

“I don’t mind,” Steven said. “As long as it’s the truth. But Pearl, can’t you just text me what happened with your phone? That’s technically not “speaking” right?”

Pearl shifted uncomfortably. “That might work, but I don’t have my cell phone on me.” She claimed. “Garnet borrowed it before she left. She said she needed it to show some new Gems at Little Homeworld examples of human technology. I’m sorry, but I don’t have it on me, so if we choose to do that option, it’ll have to come later.”

Steven frowned. _That_ one was a lie. Anyone that had been around Pearl for more than half a day could easily tell. But he wasn’t really in the mood to start a full-fledged argument about it, and he could already see how excruciating this was for Pearl, so he decided to just drop it. For now, at least. He made a mental note to bring it up later, when Pearl had stopped acting like she would be shattered if she said the wrong thing.

“Alright.” Steven conceded. “But we’re not done yet. Even if that's out of the way now, there’s still a few more things I want to know.” Steven leaned forward again and conjoined his fingers with each other. “Firstly, Pearl, do you have any idea _why_ they were fighting for Homeworld? What caused them to switch sides?”

Pearl looked away from the pair and got a faraway look. “Another thing I’m not entirely sure of.” She declared. “Just like with exactly how they were enhanced, neither me nor Rose could figure it out. Time and time again we were asked by the other Crystal Gems about it. Why would a human fight for Homeworld? They have to know they’re fighting for the same side that destroyed their planet.” She said, clearly repeating a past conversation. “It was the same question every time, and we never had a clear answer for them. So eventually, we decided that they weren’t fighting out of free will and that Homeworld had brainwashed them during the experimentation.”

Connie thought about everything Pearl had said for a brief moment before speaking and explaining her side of the matter. “I think I have a reason why they might have done that.” She said confidently. “Maybe they just wanted to fight for the side they thought would win. Maybe after they had been experimented on, they thought that the Crystal Gems had no chance at beating Homeworld, so they went with the “if you can’t beat em, join em” tactic and agreed to fight for the Diamonds.”

“I suppose that’s one possibility…” Pearl said thoughtfully. “But I think the brainwashing is more likely. The first time I ever saw them, they hardly even acted human. The only thing I could compare them to is an emotionless robot. During their fight with Rose, they remained stone-faced even while attacking her like a sort of living statue.”

“Great. So Homeworld turned them into a zombie.” Steven pondered. “Now, I have…” He counted on his fingers. “...Two more questions left, and then we can enjoy those cinnamon rolls you ate. And after _that_...well, it depends on how you answer the next question.”

“If you say so,” Pearl said, shifting nervously. She knew that the worst of it was over, but she was still afraid of what Steven could come up with. He tended to ask the hardest hitting questions.

“One.” He said, not wasting any more time. “Why didn’t mom stop this in her role as Pink Diamond? I feel like the second she heard about a human soldier fighting for Homeworld, she would have ordered them to stop fighting.”

“She never had the chance to know,” Pearl said. “War Earth was mostly Pink’s colony. But that didn’t stop Yellow and Blue from stepping in and doing their own gimmick. That human was an experiment of Blue’s. When Pink asked for life to be preserved, the zoo was created, but the lab was as well. It's original intent was to try and make organics more like Gems, see if they could expand their lives and satisfy Pink with immortal pets.”

“Expand their lives…” Connie murmured, her fingers tapping against her knee. “Did that human have their lifespan increased by-”

“No, they didn’t.” Pearl interrupted, as if disturbed by the mere thought of it. “The notes we found in the lab outlined _all_ the abilities they gained from the experiments. A difference in aging was not one of them. They aged at a normal rate. Those scientists had made sure to test that theory themselves.”

Steven sighed. “Guess that means they’re dead now…” He said. “I mean, obviously, but still. It would be interesting if they were somehow still alive.”

“Yeah,” Connie said, gripping the journal. “So...Pink never found out?”

“She did eventually,” Pearl said. “But this was near the end of the war, and she was so busy being both Pink and Rose that she had no time to do something about them. Her schedule-” Steven flinched visibly. “-was completely full. Nothing like it had been in the early days of the colonization. She couldn't waste time on a single organic that was fighting for Homeworld. Although I do remember she had the time to yell at Blue about it…”

“Of course she had time for _that_ ,” Steven said, rolling his eyes. “But I get it. I can understand having no time to do anything. I can’t really blame her for not stopping this.”

A small part of Steven’s mind said ‘yes you can’, but he ignored it and kept talking.

“Last question Pearl, then we’re done. We can all get back to our lives.”

Pearl ignored the dramatization behind this and braced herself. This was it. One last question, one last answer, and then they would never have to speak of this ever again. Unless of course, Steven tried to dig deeper and find out the _real_ truth. And in all likelihood, he would. But if (when?) he did, Pearl promised herself that she wouldn’t try to stop him. She had no right to prevent him from learning, no matter how much she may want to. And it’s not like she could hide it forever if she did try to stop him. 

“Why would Homeworld have a human fight for them?” He asked. “Why would they even bother doing such a thing when they had thousands of Gem soldiers fighting for them already?”

As Steven’s question faded, Pearl relaxed and let her body go slack, relieved that his last question was an easy one. Sure, it was _another_ one that she didn’t have a clear answer for (of which they were very, very many today), but it could have been so much worse.

“I think for the sole reason of seeing what their limits were,” Pearl said. “Just how far humans could be pushed. The notes mentioned something about the possibilities of an army of enhanced organics fighting for Homeworld, but those plans never came to pass. I think they were a test run, a prototype for a project that the Diamond’s corrupting light brought an end too. But again, just speculation. Despite being some of the best scientists Homeworld had to offer, the records they kept sure were unorganized.”

“Or they just took what they could and left in a hurry,” Connie suggested. “Before you and Rose set it all on fire. Because I’m going to assume the lab was deserted when you got there.”

Pearl put her hand on her chin as her eyes fell to the floor. “That would explain why it was such a mess.” She said. “Of course, by that point in the war, any Gem structure that was still standing could be described that way.”

“I bet.” Steven said, getting flashbacks of Pearl’s comment on how he and Amethyst “ruined the ruins”, as well as all the other Gem structures he and the others destroyed. But he shook those thoughts from his head. 

For now, at least, this conversation was over.

“Well...thanks, Pearl.” He said, putting on his best smile. “I appreciate you telling us all this stuff. I know how hard it is for you to talk about all the terrible things that that war brought. Things like this.”

“It’s okay,” Pearl said, although she still looked rather unnerved. “There were much worse things that happened than this. This whole deal with that human soldier was nothing but a footnote in the Rebellion. Maybe even less than that. I mean, there’s a reason neither of you have asked about it before now! Hardly anyone remembers, and anybody who does has more important stories to tell.”

“Well, make sure to tell us all those someday,” Connie said. “So we don’t have to try and find it out by ourselves and start worrying about what might have happened.”

“I’ll make sure to,” Pearl said. “There’s one last thing however. This person...they did technically have a name during the war. Everyone simply called them “the Traitor.” Both the Crystal Gems and the Homeworld Gems.”

“That sounds like a bad choice,” Connie complained. “It must have been confusing when people talked about this “traitor” because I think it would have been hard to know whether they were talking about the human traitor or the Crystal Gems.”

“That’s why they were scarcely mentioned,” Pearl said. “Like I said, nothing but a footnote in the war. They hardly needed mentioning, when they were so rarely seen, and for such a short time. But, they still gained quite the-”

“We’re going to go to Bismuth.” Steven blurted out, ending Pearl’s explanation in its tracks.

“You’re going to who?” Pearl asked, wondering if she had heard him correctly.

“We’re going to go to Bismuth,” Steven repeated. “Me and Connie. If you can’t tell me what happened because of mom’s order, then I’m finding someone else who will. And if Bismuth doesn’t know, then...I’ll figure it out. We can’t go to Garnet, because we don’t know where she is.” He said, knowing that mentioning the fact that they might go to Jasper was likely a poor idea.

Pearl opened her mouth to speak, no doubt about to say something that would discourage him from doing this or commenting on how Bismuth has already gone “missing” by the time of that fight, but Connie beat her to it.

“Wait, but Pearl said Garnet went to Little Homeworl-”

“Oh come on, we both know that isn’t the truth,” Steven said. “Pearl isn’t going to want to tell us, so I’m not going to force her too. If Bismuth doesn't work, then we’ll go to her when she shows up. End of discussion.” He finished, giving Pearl a knowing look. 

Pearl fidgeted in response, but did nothing else. On one hand, she was surprised that Steven has seen through that lie so easily, but was also happy that he didn’t push it further. Connie had a similar reaction, and the three of them sat in a brief and awkward silence.

“...”

“...”

“...”

“Anyone want a cinnamon roll?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That’s the end of chapter 3, and somehow it reached twice the length of the previous two. But I hope it was enjoyable. The next chapter will not be them going to Little Homeworld, but rather a few other things, mostly Steven and Connie going over what all the info they got in this chapter means. Garnet and Amethyst will also make their first appearance.
> 
> See you next chapter!


	4. Empty River

As Steven and Connie chowed down on the tray of the now lukewarm rose-shaped cinnamon rolls, Pearl remained sitting silently on the couch, thinking to herself. These thoughts mainly consisted of her going over the conversation that she had with Steven and Connie no more than a few minutes ago, remembering every word as if it was happening in real-time. The rest of her mind was occupied with the memories of what moment had caused that whole unfortunate conversation to happen in the first place, and soon she decided that it was none other than the day the Traitor and Rose fought. A day she liked to refer to as “ _that_ day.” 

Although, when it came to Pearl’s history, “ _that_ day” could be any number of days. 

However, going back to “ _that_ day,” after she answered all those questions, Pearl remembered it down to the smallest detail. Rose fighting Jasper, her stepping in with a surprise attack, and then _they_ appeared on the battlefield. Uniformed, emotionless, and with their red-bladed sword at the ready. She could still remember Rose’s voice, telling her to deal with Jasper and that she would take care of the Traitor. But it should have been her. _She_ should have been the one to fight the Traitor. In less than a second, she could have disarmed them and ended it for good. Back then, she had been confident in this claim. More confident than she had ever been since when she first came into being countless millennia ago. So why couldn’t she? Why couldn’t she have just disobeyed that order from Rose and prevented all this from happening? 

After a fleeting moment of contemplation, she found an answer. But as per usual, it wasn’t one she particularly liked. There was no good answer to that question. No answer that would ever be satisfactory. No answer that wouldn’t hurt to know. 

She sighed and then turned her head towards Steven and Connie, who were still busy chatting with each other. Neither of them seemed affected by the previous discussion in any way. And if they were, they weren’t showing it. Both were greatly enjoying her cinnamon rolls, savoring each bite and then grabbing another as soon as they finished eating the one in their hands. It should have given Pearl a sense of happiness, seeing them enjoying what she made for them like that. 

But it didn’t. For her, it hurt to look at. It hurt to see them like that. All cheerful, happy...and ignorant. Especially considering what they would surely soon find out. The truth. The truth about the Traitor, and about what had _really_ gone down in that moment. And thus, _this_ moment, this one precious joy-filled moment, wouldn’t last much longer. Steven and Connie would have the truth eventually told to them by Garnet once they discovered Bismuth had no clue what they were talking about. Or maybe they’d learn another way. Another Gem, another journal, or maybe even by finding something that was neither of these. But it didn’t matter if they found out in the end. She didn’t want them to know how, and she didn’t want to see how they (but mostly Steven) would react to it. 

But Pearl was still going to keep her promise. She wouldn’t ever tell them what had happened herself, and she wasn’t going to stop them from finding out by themselves. Steven wasn’t a child anymore, _hadn’t_ been for a long time, and if Pearl tried to shield him from something again, then it’d look like she still thought of him as such. And if Steven hated her for it, for keeping the truth a secret, then that was the way it had to be. He could pout, complain, and grumble about all the terrible secrets that his mother had kept. But it wouldn’t last forever, and eventually, he’d go back to loving the Gems and hopefully his mother. She knew it, he knew it, they all knew it. It had happened before, and it’d happen again. The same cycle repeatedly. One that would probably keep repeating up until the sun went supernova and burned the Earth to oblivion. 

But in the meantime, Pearl was still sitting on the couch, wishing that _that_ day's events had transpired differently. Wishing that “that day's” events had gone a different way. The memories came flooding back for the thousandth time as sicken, familiar images flashed into her mind. Rose’s horrified expression, her sword laying on the ground while a thick crimson dripped off the blade, and Jasper, almost too shocked to move, before turning and retreating for maybe the first time in her life. 

Then one more image came to mind. This one was the clearest of them all. This one...was what happened the next day. Something she still couldn’t believe, and likely never would. But her eyes hadn’t failed her once before that. What she saw was what happened, and nothing could change it. Not with all the magic tears in the world. 

So as Pearl buried herself in yet another train of thought, this time thinking about all the things that Rose didn’t tell her, Steven and Connie were still licking their fingers and laying waste to the rolls. 

“These are really good,” Connie commented, finishing yet another roll and grabbing another. “Kind of sucks I have a bad taste in my mouth from all those questions…” 

“I get what you mean,” Steven said, wiping some cinnamon off his hands. “But that feeling is only going to get worse, depending on the answers that we’ll get from Bismuth or...whoever else we go to.” 

“That...reminds me,” Connie said nervously. “What answers are you hoping for exactly? I get that you were worried that your mom killed them in that fight, but now that we know that she didn’t, what else could you want to know?” 

Steven looked at her in surprise, dumbfounded that she would ask such a ridiculous question. 

“A lot.” He said. “I want to know what happened to them after the Rebellion ended. I want to know where they went, where they are, and what they’re doing now. Basically...everything, I guess." 

“Ummm...being a corpse?” Connie suggested. “They’re dead Steven. It’s been 6000 years, and even if Pearl was lying earlier and those experiments really _did_ expand their lifespan, I don’t think they could have stretched it to _that_ long.” 

Steven sighed. “Maybe.” He said, nodding his head. “But I still don’t feel satisfied with the answer that “they’re dead and we’ll never see them.” After all those questions we asked, it feels like there should be more to this, you know?” 

“No, I don’t know, because I understand that they died...and we’ll never see them,” Connie said, echoing his words. “I mean, even if you found whatever remains of their body, it’s not like you’d get any answers out of it. And I know you have those resurrection powers, but I don’t think they’d work on a pile of bones…” 

Steven blew a raspberry and leaned back in his chair. “Even if I did find a body that wasn’t decomposed for whatever reason, I wouldn’t bring them back.” He claimed. I want to know more about them, but that doesn’t mean I want to hear directly from their mouth. And I don’t even know if my tears would work on them to begin with.” He said, changing the subject. “It’s only ever happened once with Lars, and it’s the only ability I have that remains...somewhat of a mystery to me.” 

“Really?” Connie asked facetiously. “The _only_ ability?” 

As Connie said this, Steven got sudden flashbacks of all the times he had turned pink in recent months. All those times his powers had become supercharged and he felt like he could crush anybody that stood in his way like an insect. It still scared him to think about, having all that raw power at his disposal, so he did what his mom did best and produced a lie. 

“Yeah.” He said. “The only ability. The rest I have a pretty good hold on.” 

“Hm. If you say so.” Connie said, rolling her eyes. “But if you do decide to take it a step further and try and find their body, make sure to leave me out of it. I’d rather not become a grave robber. My mom would freak out if she knew. Even more so than usual.” 

“It wouldn’t be...grave robbing.” Steven insisted. “It’s not like we’d be stealing anything. I would only be doing it to be _sure_ that they’re dead and never coming back. And that’s never going to happen by the way, _if_ we get a firsthand account by someone that doesn’t have a gag order.” He glanced over at Pearl. “If somebody tells me how they died, and that they saw it themselves, then that should be good enough for me.” 

“Isn’t the fact that it’s been 6000 years good enough?” 

“Not in this case, no,” Steven said. “Pearl and mom torched the lab. They might have missed some things, like some of those notes she was talking about. Maybe it did increase their aging, but Pearl _wasn’t_ lying and she just never saw it for herself.” 

“Okay, but where would they have gone after they survived the war?” Connie asked. “What would Homeworld have even done? Did you think they...got rid of them like the other test subjects Pearl mentioned?” 

“I _assume_ they’d have sent them to the zoo,” Steven said, pausing mid-chew. “But if Homeworld considered them a good enough asset that they actually had them fight in the war, against the _leader of the Rebellion herself_ , then I don’t think they’d have wasted their talent by sending them there. They had to have done something else.” 

“That’s a fair point,” Connie admitted. “But do you think they just left them on Earth?” 

Steven paused. That was the most likely choice, under the circumstances. But if they had been stranded, then the remaining Crystal Gems should have found and recognized them. Which they obviously didn’t. There would have been signs. Clues. Heck, they probably would have told him already. 

(No) 

Steven licked some more cinnamon off his lips and began to list all the things he knew in his mind. ‘They survived the war. They were enhanced. They fought mom.’ He thought, his hand raised to his chin... ‘I know for a fact that Jasper, Pearl, and mom saw them directly. Maybe Bismuth and Garnet and a few others too. Pearl never mentioned that Garnet was at the battle, although we never asked. We’ll just put that as…"undetermined” until we get to talk to her. But...they wouldn’t have stayed on Earth, right? The corrupting light shouldn’t have influenced them, but that doesn’t mean-’ 

“SOOO…?” Connie asked impatiently, breaking him out of his thoughts. “What do you think? You’ve been sitting there thinking for like five minutes.” 

“What? Five minutes?” Steven said, before glancing over at the clock. The minute hand was now further along than it had been before he started listing stuff. _Much_ further. 

Steven sighed. “That was definitely not five minutes.” He mumbled. 

“Huh?” 

“Nothing,” Steven said. “Um, maybe. But I don’t see a good reason they would stay unless the Diamonds made them. They betrayed their planet and their species, so I don’t think they’d be the type of person who’d want to risk staying.” 

“That makes sense. Although if we really want to know…” Connie said. She swiveled her head around and looked at Pearl, who was still thinking to herself. “We could just ask Pearl a couple more things. We never did ask her what happened to them after the fight. She only said that they retreated, and nothing else.” 

“I don’t think that’s going to work,” Steven stated. “I wouldn’t be surprised if my mom put more orders on Pearl to not tell anybody what happened in the end. And this is assuming she even knows. Pearl said that fight was the only time they met in person, so I don’t think she bothered to keep tabs on them after that.” 

Connie’s shoulders shrank and she shook her head. “That’s also an assumption, so I still think we should try. In fact, I’m going to ask right now. No time like the present. Hey Pearl?” 

Pearl looked up from the table and gave them both a thousand-yard stare. “Um, yes? What’s wrong?” 

“Nothing’s wrong,” Connie said. “But do you know what happened to the...Traitor, was that their name? Yeah, the Traitor. Do you know what happened to them after the war?” 

Pearl shrugged and glanced away from them. “I don’t.” She said, causing Connie to let out a low and disappointed humming noise. “I heard quite a few rumors that they left the planet before the Diamonds unleashed their final attack, but I’m pretty sure that those were nothing but-” 

“Okay, thanks.” Steven rudely chimed in, feeling that Pearl was about to start rambling on again. He looked back at Connie, while Pearl opened and then closed her mouth before sinking back into her memories. “Guess I was wrong. No order given there. Pearl doesn’t know, so we stuck to the plan.” 

“There’s just one problem I see with your plan,” Connie said. “If Pearl doesn’t know, then why would you think Bismuth does? Wasn’t she trapped in a bubble for the last part of the war? Why would she have any idea what happened to this Traitor?” 

“Because-” Steven started, only to realize that he didn’t have an answer. Why _did_ he think that Bismuth knew? Because she was an original Crystal Gem? That didn't mean anything. Connie was completely right here. Bismuth wouldn’t know. And if Pearl of all people didn’t know, then the odds were that no Crystal Gem did. Not even Garnet. 

“...I have no idea.” He finally said and rested his forehead on the table. 

“...And?” Connie asked expectantly. “You have no idea and what else?” 

“That’s it.” Steven groaned, popping up before burying his face in his hands. “I don’t know why I recommended we go to Bismuth. It was a stupid idea, it popped into my head and I just went with it.” 

“Okay…” Connie said, starting to get a little confused. “Then-then should we go straight to Garnet and forget about 2w-” 

“Yes. Wait, no. Urg! I don’t know!” Steven exclaimed. “I don’t think so. We should still check out if Bismuth knows anything first. And you’re right. She won’t know what happened to them. But maybe she knows something else.” 

“Like what?” 

“Like maybe who they were before?” Steven suggested. “One of our unanswered questions is why they fought for the Diamonds in the first place. I think that knowing who they were before the war might help with that one.” 

“I’m getting the feeling that we’re going to be asking a lot of questions here, and this whole adventure will consist of nothing but us trying to solve them.” Connie said, with the same prophetic attitude as a person on a street corner with a “the end is nigh” sign. 

“Yup,” Steven said. “Should be fun. But you know, you don’t have to come if you don’t want to. Because if this does turn out like you just said, then I have no doubt that what we’ll be doing for most of the time is walking around, asking questions, and other...well, boring stuff.” 

“No, I want to come,” Connie said, putting on a small smile. “Who knows when we’ll get to hang out with each other like this again. I want to make the most of it, even if it is boring.” 

“Well, then maybe we should make the most of it,” Steven said. “We could postpone this whole “Traitor” business and do something fun. Then I can do it by myself later, no harm done.” 

Connie looked slightly hurt by this. “Do...you do not think I’m up to this?” 

“That-that’s not what I meant,” Steven said, panicking inside. “I just don’t want this to be repetitive, you know. It’s like you told me. Who knows when we’ll get a good opportunity again to hang out and talk and...well, be friends?” He shrugged. “Everyone around me is leaving or doing going off by themselves. Lars left with the Off-colors and now they’re in space somewhere. Sadie’s band broke up and they’re all busy doing their own thing. And now with you studying all the time and getting ready to go to college, I feel like I’m going to be the only left in Beach city by the end of it all!” 

Steven started shuddering at the thought of this and hugged himself. “So...I want to make the absolute most of each time we see each other because I don’t know which one will be our last.” 

Steven then looked up at Connie, who was staring at him with a tear forming in her right eye. She took a deep breath and wiped the teardrop away, and then put the cinnamon roll she was eating back in the tray. 

“That’s really sweet.” She said softly. “But Steven, just because everyone’s moving on, that doesn’t mean it’s the last time you’re going to see them.” Connie put a hand of reassurance on his shoulder. “Lars will come back from space eventually. Along with the Off-Colors. And even if I or Sadie or anyone else moves away from Beach city, that doesn’t mean you can’t still visit us! It’s not like we’ll be gone forever, Steven. Just...away for a little while. We’ll still be your friends no matter what.” 

Steven looked at her hand and he gripped it tightly with his own. He started to shed a tear of his own and the smile he had on earlier at the library returned subconsciously. 

“Thanks, Connie. I...I guess that makes me feel a little bit better. I guess that in the end, I just needed someone like you to tell me that it was all going to be okay.” He whispered, and then went back to resting his forehead on the table, although now it was more out of relief. Connie chuckled slightly at this and went back to eating her cinnamon roll. 

“That’s all I wanted to hear.” She said. “The last thing I want is for you to start losing your enthusiasm for stuff. Especially for moments like right now.” 

Steven almost flinched when he heard this. He remembered the old days when he was still a little kid (or “classic Steven,” as Amethyst liked to call it). All those moments where he was excited by even the most menial of things. He was even overjoyed to go stay at a beat-up old motel that one time! And it wasn’t even that fun! The whole trip was nothing but Ruby and Sapphire losing it, except for the _very_ last part where they made up. But even the smallest thing could have gotten him jumping for joy back then. 

But now it wasn’t like that at all. He wasn’t as excited to do things with the Gems anymore. In fact, the thing that got him more exhilarated than anything was not _having_ to do anything. For instance, the amount of glee he felt earlier when he thought about what he would do during his three-month vacation (nothing) was more than he felt in weeks. Even the thought of hanging out with Connie hadn’t come close. 

And he wondered if that was saying something about him, or if he was just being lazy. 

‘I need that vacation. Now more than ever.’ He thought. ‘I need the time to think about all this by myself. If I tell my therapist, they’ll think I just want to loaf around. If I tell them Gems or Connie, they’ll think the same. But... that’s not it. That’s not it at all. That _can’t_ be it.’ 

Steven's eyes then sank to the floor as he began doubting every thought he had, his mind slowly turning against him. 

‘Right?’ 

His fingers gripped the roll he was holding, slowly crushing it back into dough. He chewed silently at his bottom lip, lost in thought and no longer aware of his surroundings. 

‘What have I become?’ He thought. ‘What happened to that cheerful little boy that everyone was always so happy to be around? The one that loved everything except for Kevin. The one that tried to make friends instead of pushing them away, _even when they’re already leaving and I’m begging for them to come back_ , like I literally just explained to Connie five seconds ago! The one that didn’t have to deal with all the bull...bull…’ Steven growled suddenly, unable to bring himself to swear even in his thoughts. ‘All the nonsense that his mother did! Why can’t I just go back to that person?! Why did things have to turn out the way they did?’ 

“Steven?” A faint voice said, filled with concern. 

‘Wait. How things...turned out? What are you thinking?’ He thought, ignoring the voice in the distance. ‘Things turned out great! Peace across the galaxy! No more shattering! No more laws! No more hate! Everyone’s living their best lives! Everyone...except me.’ 

“Steven!” 

‘That’s it, isn’t it? I’m not living my best life. This is just like that realization I had earlier in the car. Nobody is leaving me. I’m leaving _them_. They say they’re going into space or going to college. Something temporary like that. But I act like I’m attending their funeral, and the only person carrying the coffin is me. No one else. I’m completely alone in that feeling.’ Steven huffed and straightened himself. ‘Alright. That seals it. You’re not yourself anymore Universe. You must do something to solve all of this. Your friends. Those pink outbursts. Whatever the heck happened to the Traitor. You have to find some way to make sure that-’ 

“STEVEN!” The voice screamed, finally breaking him out of his stupor. 

“Huh? What?” Steven said, looking over at the source of the voice. This was Connie, who was looking at him like he had stuck his head in an oven. 

“Connie...? What’s wrong?” He asked, confused by the terrified expression she wore. “Is everything okay?” 

“No, it’s...it’s your lip! She said, distressed to the point where Steven wouldn’t be surprised if the world was ending again. “How are you not feeling that?” 

“Um...what are you talking about?” Steven asked nervously. “What am I supposed to be feeling here?” 

Connie paused for a second and then pulled out her phone. “Use this.” She said shakily. Steven looked at the phone for a moment and then plucked it out of her hands. Using the blank screen as a mirror, he held it up to his face and stared into it. 

His first reaction when he saw what was in the mirror was first to gasp, and then to start hissing “ow” repeatedly. Because in the reflection of the phone’s screen he saw that while his own thoughts had been berating him, he had been busy chewing his bottom lip so severely that blood was practically starting to dribble down his chin from the wound. The pain set in the second he became aware of the injury, almost like his body’s nerve had canceled it out until he saw it. 

“Ow...owowowow!” He repeated, handing Connie’s phone back to her. Careful not to touch his lip, he opened his mouth and licked his index finger before slathering it all over the injury. It stung like crazy, but he could feel it working, nonetheless. The small hole he made closed in an instant and left no trace of what once was. After it had fully healed, he carefully touched it to confirm it was gone before retreating into his head again. 

‘Jeez, where did they come from? And why didn’t I feel any of it before Connie pointed it out? Did my mind purposefully block it out for some reason?’ Steven thought, before remembering he had forgotten something important. ‘Oh. Right. Connie. She’s probably freaking out right now.’ He wiped the blood off his chin and promised himself that he wouldn’t become distracted by his thoughts again until after this situation was remedied. More important things to deal with. 

“Uh, sorry about that,” Steven said to Connie, who still wore an intensely anxious expression. “I don’t know what that was. I just got caught up in my thoughts and didn’t realize what I was doing.” He rubbed the back of his head sheepishly and grinned like an idiot, as if what he had just done was a simple mistake instead of borderline self-mutilation. And as one would expect, this did nothing to cool Connie’s nerves. She gaped at him, looked over to Pearl for support, and once she saw that the Gem had been lost in _her_ head as well the entire time, realized that she’d have to tackle this herself. 

“Caught up?” She said incredulously. “Caught up?! What were you thinking about that could have prevented you from feeling that?!” There were now tears staining her cheeks as she entered a panic mode, and Steven felt a twinge of guilt as he realized that this was his fault. Connie was hurting, and he was to blame. 

“Just…my therapist.” Steven lied, doing his best to keep his pink mode in the dark where it belonged. “I was thinking about the things he told me. And about how I can apply them to this whole Traitor situation…?” Steven realized that he should have phrased that better. Or at least said it more convincingly. 

Connie stared at him with a “are you serious” look. 

“I don’t believe that.” She pouted. “You were putting on a pretty irate face when you were “thinking about your therapist.”” Steven could almost hear the air quotes. “And what part of your therapy session taught you that level of pain tolerance? You didn’t react at all until I pointed it out!” 

“Connie, I swear I have no idea why I didn’t feel that,” Steven said, not sure what else to tell her. “I just...didn’t, okay? Please stop freaking out over it.” 

“It’s a bit late for that…” She mumbled. Connie still didn’t want to believe it, but she saw the look in his eyes. Pleading, worried, and terrified of losing her to this. It almost broke her heart to see it, and it in turn wiped most of her internal frustration away. His expression proved that he genuinely didn’t know. She sighed and decided to accept this. But no matter how hard he tried; Connie could still tell that he was lying about whatever he had been thinking about. It hadn’t been his therapist, or anything close to that. 

But that was a discussion they could have later, because just like him, she wasn’t about to let this...incident ruin the precious time they had left to spend with each other. Because soon enough she’d be back to the books, returning to an endless cycle of studying and readying that always seemed to last forever. 

Connie then silently thanked whoever was listening that it had only been his bottom lip. Considering how intensely he was chewing on it before she shouted at him to stop, it could have been much, much worse if he had decided to nibble on something else. She shuddered at the idea of mindlessly and painfully gnawing at something like her fingernails and being completely unaware of it until it was too late. 

‘No. Nonono.’ She thought. ‘Don’t think about it. It was bad enough earlier when you had to think about the forced gender experiments that they…” Connie’s eyes twitched as the memories came flying back like a punch to the face. ‘...agh! Come on! DON’T THINK ABOUT IT!’ 

As Connie suffered in silence, desperately trying to calm herself down so she didn’t have another internal outburst, Steven obliviously took the last cinnamon roll from the tray. He knew Amethyst would be disappointed to learn that they had eaten them all, but to be fair, she used to eat half the fridge everyday way back when, so her complaining would practically be hypocritical. He finished it off quickly, set the tray in the sink, and gave it a quick scrubbing so Pearl wouldn’t have to, as she currently looked like a mourning widow now. He went back over to Connie afterward, who in the meantime had been lost in several thoughts that she loathed with every ounce of her being. 

“Connie.” He said, thankfully bringing her back to reality. The expression on his face was the same one he wore earlier, back when he was making plans on how they would solve the mystery of the mural. “I think it’s time we start our little investigation again.” 

“So soon?” Connie asked. “We just finished those rolls you know. Don’t you think we should relax a little bit before setting off again?” 

“I thought that eating the rolls _was_ our relaxation time…” Steven said. 

“I guess you could see it that way.” Connie shrugged. “But if you really want to, then that’s fine. I’m up for it. And you were right earlier by the way. About how you said it’s best to find the truth as quickly as possible.” 

“...I, uh, never said that,” Steven remarked. 

“Oh,” Connie said. “I could have sworn that you...never mind. But I think it’s true anyways. The sooner we figure this out, the sooner we can get back to hanging out normally.” 

“Yeah.” Steven said, before mumbling, _“And then I’m finally gonna get that three-month vacation.”_

“What you’d say?” 

“Nothing!” Steven blurted out. He stood up and quickly pushed his chair under the table. “But if we’re going, do you have everything you need? Do you still have the journal?” 

"No. Pearl has it,” Connie said, pointing a thumb at the aforementioned Gem. “I don’t think she’s doing anything with it though. Or even aware of what’s going on for that matter. She didn’t react at all when you ripped your lip apart. Which was weird, considering how protective she is of you…” 

“Yeah, I found that odd too,” Steven said, although he hadn’t, mostly since he completely forgot Pearl was also in the room now. “Although she did answer when you called her, for some reason...” He sighed, ignoring the sudden self-deprecating thoughts that flowed into his head. “It doesn’t matter. Make sure you have everything you need, and I’ll tell Pearl where we’re going, then we can head out.” 

“Actually, I was thinking of doing something else first.” Connie said. “Do you know where Lion is?” 

“Lion? Why would you want to know that?” 

“Don’t you remember?” Connie said, rolling her eyes at him in an amused manner. “I told you that if our investigation goes any further then Pearl, then I’d go get my sword from my parents. Just in case, like you said.” 

“You did?” Steven said, a faint memory of her telling him that coming to mind. “Hm. I guess it’s fine if you want to. And I suppose that if we have to go to...the other person in the drawing, then yeah, we might need it. There’s no telling how she might react.” 

“Badly.” Connie guessed, not at all perturbed by the fact that Steven was suggesting they go to the Quartz for help. “The last time I met her was when you and I fused, and we forced her to back off.” 

“Ehg.” Steven said, somewhere in between “Ugh” and “ehh.” “Don’t even remind me of that memory. It all led up to Amethyst almost getting shattered.” 

“Hasn’t that happened like, dozens of times?” Connie chuckled. “I remember you telling me about an encounter you guys had with something called “The Slinker” where she was puffed like ten times. Kind of a funny name though.” 

Steven covered his face as his cheeks flushed red in embarrassment. “I was young and stupid when I came up with that name.” He said. “I have...much better names for things now.” 

Connie almost burst out laughing at that. “I have much better names for things now.” She repeated, before snorting at him. “I don’t know why, but that doesn’t even sound like proper English.” 

“Wouldn’t be the first time…” Steven mumbled. “But we can reminisce on all that stuff later. If Lions anywhere, it’d be beneath the house. That’s basically his home nowadays.” 

“Gotcha,” Connie said, pulling her backpack on. “If he’s not, then I’ll just come back inside, and you can drive me back to my house. If he is...then I’ll see you in a couple of minutes. Or however long it takes for me to convince my mom to get my sword.” 

“I’ll see you in a few hours then?” Steven joked. 

Connie smiled. “Hm. I hope not.” And with that, she half-jogged out of the beach house, disappearing a moment later. Steven looked over to the only remaining person in the house besides himself and sat down next to her on the couch. 

“Connie and I are going to go once she gets back.” He said. “So, is there anything you didn’t tell me that you...can, well, tell me?” 

Pearl shook her head and closed Buddy’s journal, which had been lying open in her hands for several minutes. “No.” She said. “I’m sorry. Nothing that would be useful in your little…” 

“Investigation,” Steven said. 

“Yes. That.” Pearl sighed. “You’ve heard this before Steven, many, many times, but your mother kept her secrets for a reason. She kept this one because she didn’t want anyone to remember the Traitor, and she didn’t want anyone _else_ to as well. Even though they were less than a footnote in Gem history…” Pearl gulped, realizing she was repeating herself yet again. “It was a particularly dark footnote. Rose thought it would be best if we all forgot, so that’s what we did.” 

Pearl looked down at the journal again. 

“Forgot.” She repeated, the single word echoing throughout the house. 

Before Steven could respond, a roaring sound from outside that they both recognized as Lions suddenly rang through the air, and it was now evident that Connie had left. Steven, unable to help himself, already began to get anxious as he hoped that she would come back soon. He could already tell that this conversation wasn’t going to get better, even though he had to continue it. 

“If you destroy that journal because you want to forget the mural and the Traitor, it won’t change anything.” He stated, sensing Pearl’s hostile intent for the manuscript. “I’ll still find another way to know, and _then_ we’ll have to explain to the library about why a century and a half old book is now a pile of scraps-” 

“I’m not going to do anything about it,” Pearl said, handing the book over to Steven. “You deserve to know. Even if you won’t be happy when you do find out.” 

Steven looked to the right and stared at the blank wall, a slight scowl forming on the edges of his mouth. “That wasn’t something I wanted to know.” He mumbled. “Did Garnet tell you that too?” 

“No, it’s just intuition,” Pearl said. “But please don’t be mad at her.” Her voice was noticeably shaking at that last sentence, much like Connie’s during the whole lip thing. Steven could tell that Pearl wanted to let it all out, to disobey his mom’s orders and reveal the truth, but she couldn’t. 

She was just following orders after all. And Steven didn’t even have to ask who “her” was. 

“No promises.” He said. “It all depends on what happened. And Pearl...don’t give me any more hints. At least not here. If the truth is going to make me upset, I’d rather not lose control and wreck the house.” 

“Lose control?” Pearl asked. “What...are you talking about?” 

Steven’s eyes widened as he realized his mistake. Crud. He let that one slip too. He really needed to work on keeping his mouth shut. 

“It’s nothing.” He said, using the same tone that he used on Connie earlier during the whole “lip incident.” “It’s just that I don’t think I’ll be able to handle it, you know. She did so many wonderful things for the Earth, and everyone always praises her…” 

He took a deep breath. 

“But when I looked closer, she was a jerk to a lot of people. She...hurt a _lot_ of people. Bismuth, Spinel, Volleyball, and probably the Traitor as well. At least they got out that fight unscathed. I’m glad she didn’t sink _that_ far.” 

Pearl paused and then slowly nodded. While normally she hated hearing criticism like that towards Rose, Steven made several good points. And although she still wanted to know more about what Steven meant by “lose control,” she had a feeling that asking him to talk about would make him do just that. And she was sure she already knew what he was referring too. That whole incident back at the Reef…could wait for later. 

“I won’t deny it. Rose had her mistakes. She made mistakes. Things that she’ll never be able to take back…” Pearl got a faraway look in her eyes. “But she did her best to fix them. Even if there were a lot that were permanently broken.” 

Steven sat in silence. ‘Unscathed.’ He thought. ‘That’s probably an exaggeration. If she forced them to retreat, then she had to hurt them in some way. I wonder what was going through her head. A human fighting for Homeworld. For the Diamonds. For...her, technically. Pink Diamond. And I’m going to be honest, I’m not sure I completely buy that her sche-’ 

Steven halted mid-syllable. 

‘That her _timetable_ was so busy that she couldn’t do anything about them.’ He continued. ‘I remember that dream I had once. Blue told her that all she had to do was “smile and wave.” Doesn’t sound like much work to _me_. All it would take is one little order! One order to take the Traitor off the battlefield forever! Even if it was Blue’s experiment, it was still her colony! She should have done something!’ 

“So why didn’t she…” He grumbled aloud, startling Pearl. 

“What did you say, Steven?” She asked. 

“Hm?” Steven said, now realizing that he had said that aloud. “Oh, um, I was just talking to myself. Nothing to worry about.” 

Pearl looked unconvinced but didn’t push it further. Her mind went back to Steven’s therapy sessions and how well they were working for him. How much he had improved over the last few days. 

But considering all the emotions he had bottled up without them knowing, everyone knew that it would take just one little push to undo all that work… 

The brief silence was cut off when a portal opened in the middle of the room and Lion came flying out, Connie riding on his back. She was carrying her sword and jumped off Lion as the portal closed behind them. Steven thought that she looked nervous, maybe even saw a bead of sweat on her forehead but took no notice of it. 

“That was fast.” He pointed out. “Guess it was easier to get your sword back from your mom then we thought.” 

Connie nodded and spoke, a nervous tone in her voice. “Yeah, it just took a little convincing. Really, she was just happy that I was spending time together with you again. But she made me promise to only use my sword if I really need it.” She looked down at the sword and examined her reflection in the blade. “No other reason…” 

“Well, that’s good,” Steven said, oblivious of her weary attitude. “Guess we should take the warp to Little Homeworld now. Gotta talk to Bismuth and stuff.” 

Connie nodded again, but Pearl’s mouth gaped open at the sight of her. “Why are you bringing your sword?” She asked. “You two don’t intend to do anything dangerous, do you?” 

“We don’t _intend_ to,” Steven answered. “But if Bismuth doesn’t know anything, then...okay, I’m going to be honest with you, so you don’t freak out later. If Bismuth doesn’t work out, then we’re going to Jasper. And yeah, I know, it’s _Jasper_ , but she’s the only other person we can talk to about this.” Steven started to make his way to the warp pad while Connie followed, grabbing all her things in the meanwhile. “And so, Connie’s bringing her sword because, well...it’s Jasper. Just a precaution in case she attacks us. I don’t think she will, but I still want to be careful.” 

“Steven, promise me that if Jasper attacks you, you and Connie get away from her as fast as you can,” Pearl said, almost pleading with them. “I know you’ve tried to reform her as you did with everyone else, but I don’t think she’ll hesitate to attack you if she sees fit.” 

Steven pursed his lips, remembering his first fight with Jasper in the woods, where he beat her into the ground. He still hadn’t told anyone about that fight. And he didn’t intend to either… 

“We promise,” Connie said, feeling that Steven was taking too long. “We'll be fine Pearl. You don’t have to worry.” 

“You are saying that makes me worry,” Pearl said. 

“Almost everything makes you worry about us,” Steven said, now wearing a gigantic and cheesy grin. “Well, see you later! And thanks for telling us everything you could!” He then stamped his foot down on the warp pad, and he and Connie vanished in a beam of light a moment later. 

Pearl covered her face with her right hand and spoke up. “They’re gone. You can come out now. Although you probably already know that…” 

Right on cue, the Temple door slid open and Garnet walked out, stoic and emotionless as ever. She walked over to Pearl and took a seat on the couch next to her. 

“That went well.” She said, her voice so low that it was barely audible. 

“It could have gone a lot better,” Pearl complained. 

Garnet adjusted her visor and leaned back into the cushions. “It could have gone a lot _worse_ too Pearl. You don’t need future vision to know that.” 

“I’d ask in what way, but I don’t think I really want to know,” Pearl said. 

Garnet frowned. “You didn’t have to have me hiding in the Temple you know. _I_ could have told them what happened.” 

“And what would have happened then?” Pearl asked. 

Garnet paused. “I’ll admit it. Nothing good.” 

“Exactly,” Pearl said. “I only wish this hadn’t come up now. Steven _just_ finished his therapy sessions. He was getting so much better! And now this could undo all of it. When he learns what happened…” 

“He will get angry, but he will forgive us eventually,” Garnet said. “He’ll understand. I believed you when you said that there was no other way it could have gone down that day. Also, because I saw that it was the most likely outcome.” 

Pearl scoffed. “Most likely.” She said, her voice dripping with venom, although none of it was directed towards Garnet. “How else could it have gone down then? What might have happened? Was...there any way it could have been avoided?” 

“Of course,” Garnet said, shrugging. “But that’s not the way it went down. And that’s what’s important to you, isn’t it? The way it turned out?” 

“...Yes.” Pearl admitted. “But I still can’t believe _how_. You almost didn’t believe me when I told you.” 

Garnet looked over at her. “But I did, and it happened. Nothing we do now can change that. It’s a fact of life.” 

“Even so, I just…” Pearl stopped mid-sentence and sighed. “We couldn’t have known.” She mumbled. “We couldn’t have known that those Homeworld scientists managed to alter them like that. And nothing we found in their lab after the war said anything about it. I’m not even sure those scientists knew what they had created.” 

“What you found in that lab was wrecked machinery, shattered Gems, and incomplete notes.” Garnet pointed out. “I doubt even _half_ of the full results of their experiments were stored there. And I don’t think you should have lied to Steven about that. That information might have been useful to him.” 

“It wasn’t a lie,” Pearl claimed. 

“But it wasn’t the truth either,” Garnet replied. She set a hand in Pearl’s shoulder. “What’s your plan when he finds out?” 

“...When is he going to?” Pearl asked. “And how?” 

Garnet adjusted her visor again and put her hand on her chin. “I don’t know.” She said, before putting her hands together and leaning forward. “The river of time that makes up my future vision is overflowing at the moment.” 

“Overflowing?” 

“That’s the best way I can put it,” Garnet said. “But this means that right now it’s impossible to discern a single timeline efficiently. They’re all jumbled together. Steven’s river has been like that for a while now.” 

“So, you don’t know what happens next?” Pearl asked. “You’re running blind here?” 

“Not just blind,” Garnet said, a hint of worry in her voice. “When I look a few hours ahead, the river is still overflowing. But when I look about a day further...it’s gone altogether.” 

“Gone? What do you mean?” Pearl implored. 

“As in no longer there. It doesn’t exist anymore.” Garnet enunciated. “I can’t see his future in any way. Which either means something is somehow blocking my future vision altogether, or…” Garnet paused, almost unable to bring herself to say it. 

“Or what?” Pearl asked, practically probing her for information at this point. 

“...he has no future,” Garnet said. 

Pearl gasped and almost froze up on the spot. “As...as in he-” 

“You know exactly what I mean by that, and I’m not bringing myself to say it.” Garnet interrupted, her head dropping. “But this means that-” 

“That we have to go get him _right now_ ,” Pearl exclaimed, standing up and putting on her battle face. A face she hadn’t worn in almost two years. “If there is a future out there where Steven dies because of this investigation of theirs, then we should do everything we can to make sure it doesn’t happen. Find Amethyst and tell her to go to Little Homeworld. We’re leaving and stopping them before they take this any further, regardless of what either of them think about it.” 

Pearl turned towards the warp pad, but Garnet leaped up and grabbed her shoulder again. 

“Don’t.” She warned. “Doing this will only make it worse.” 

“Worse?!” Pearl said incredulously. “You told me that there’s a chance Steven could _die_ , and you expect me to ignore it and let him run off? I’m sorry Garnet, but that’s something I can’t do, and you know it. I should have ripped that notebook to shreds the second I saw it. Even if Steven disagrees, this is something we all must do. For him.” 

Pearl turned back to the warp pad, but Garnet’s grip remained strong and refused to let her go. 

“You don’t understand.” She said, almost whispering. “Earlier, I looked into several futures that take place after this moment. One where you try and stop him by separating him from Connie, one where you destroy Buddy’s journal, and one where you drag Steven back here, all the while claiming it’s for his own safety. But they all end the _same way_. He goes into that pink form you told us about and wreaks havoc. Not just on other people, but on himself as well.” 

Pearl stopped short and finally stopped trying to leave. “Losing control” is what he said. Steven himself knew how close he was to letting that take him over entirely. He _and_ it were getting worse. And even though Garnet’s eyes were blocked by her visor, Pearl could still see the look in them. Desperate, worried, and begging for answers she didn’t know the questions to. 

Garnet was just as scared for Steven as she was. 

Pearl’s shoulders dropped when upon seeing this and she finally consented. Garnet let go of her and dropped her arms to her sides, slightly annoyed with herself for having to do that. Pearl ambled back over to the couch and took a seat. Garnet sighed in relief and sat down beside her, and the two let themselves sink into the couch cushions. 

“We should probably get going,” Garnet said. “Little Homeschool will need our help soon. Either somebody is going to throw a fit over paint cans or throw a fit over washing machines.” 

Pearl laughed in response to this. “I’m going to assume that it’s Peridot.” She said, before standing up. “We should get going then. But we also shouldn’t rush to get there. Steven just left, and I don’t think he’ll be happy to see us following him.” 

Garnet frowned. “We’re not-” 

“I know,” Pearl said. “But that’s what he’s going to assume. And then he might lose control and wreak havoc on little Homeworld like you said. He hates us treating him like he’s a little boy again. I’ve done it enough by accident to see that he hates being reminded of his younger self…” 

“Actually, the only future I see if he assumes that we’re following him is one where he warps back here and takes his anger out on a random swing set.” 

Pearl looked at Garnet in confusion. “We don’t even have a swing set.” She said. 

Garnet shrugged. “Yeah, I’m a little confused about it too. But that’s what would happen. Little Homeworld will be fine, the swing set won’t, and most of what Steven’s therapist told him will be lost to time.” 

”Well, that’s enough to convince me that he shouldn’t see us anytime soon. But that does remind me, I’ll have to go give this to Greg later.” Pearl said. Her Gem glowed brightly, and she pulled a piece of paper with hundreds of tiny numbers on it. She handed it to Garnet who quickly recognized it as Steven’s therapy bill for the last week. A small note was stapled to the back, which took up over half a page. 

“Take a look at this,” Pearl said, disdain obvious in her voice. “I’m giving it to Greg because even though Steven has been trying to pay for his own things lately, there’s no way he can afford something like _that_. It’s ridiculous what they’re charging him.” 

Garnet scanned the entire document in less than thirty seconds and handed it back to her. “It says that the therapist charged extra because they’ll need therapy after all that Steven told them.” She said, stating what Pearl already knew. “I’m not sure if it’s even legal for them to be doing that, although I suppose it means they’re not very good at their job.” 

“If they need help, they can go to another therapist for this problem or even give themselves a session!” Pearl said. “I don’t see why they had to drag Steven back into this. He shouldn’t have to deal with all these problems, he’s only sixteen!” She groaned and looked ready to collapse under her own body weight by this point. “But what exactly do you think he told them?” She asked. “He did make us swear to never listen to those sessions…” 

“A request that you had a very hard time respecting if I recall correctly,” Garnet said, smirking at her. 

“But can you blame me?” Pearl asked. “First he bottles up all his emotions and feelings for a dangerously long time, and then he goes off to tell some random human about it over us. What that cactus creation of his said is all we know!” 

“Don’t forget that we practically forced him to tell this “random human” about it.” Garnet reminded her. “Besides, nothing good would have come out of him telling us. At best, Amethyst’s feelings would have been hurt slightly. At worst…” Garnet’s frown grew wider and she spoke with the most blank tone Pearl ever had the displeasure of hearing. “All of Beach city, including Little Homeworld, would have been destroyed in the process. Then the Cluster’s bubble would have popped, it’d be unable to control itself, and the entire Earth would be destroyed, including, obviously, all of us.” 

Pearl stared at her in silent shock. 

Garnet nodded solemnly at the sight of her face. “Most futures I see nowadays are like that. It makes me wonder sometimes what the universe has against Steven being happy.” 

“Probably the same thing it has him letting us help him,” Pearl replied. 

“Best not to let him hear you say that,” Garnet said, before getting up off the couch. “Now, I have to go. I have a meeting with a pair of humans in a while. I have a job as a couple’s counselor now.” 

“When did you become a couple’s counselor?” 

“Technically, in exactly one hour,” Garnet said, walking over to the warp pad. Before she left, she turned around and gave Pearl one final message. “Remember, don’t worry about Steven. I’m sure he’ll be fine, and I’ll keep an eye on him if I see it as an absolute necessity.” She paused and glanced over towards the kitchen. “Oh! and hide the tray.” She said, and with that, Garnet vanished in a flash of light. 

“Hide the-wha?” Pearl looked over to the empty metal tray, still sitting in the sink where Steven had left it. She was about to contemplate this further, but suddenly the creaking sound of someone walking up the porch stairs to the house became faintly audible. Realizing that it could only be Amethyst, Pearl rushed over to the sink and crammed the tray in a random cabinet. If Amethyst learned that they had made something like that and hadn’t shared it with her, then her next move would be to try and make it herself. 

And there was still a good-sized scorch mark on the ceiling from the last time that happened. 

“Hey Pearl.” The purple Gem said, entering the house just as Pearl shut the cabinet. “Where’s Steven? I need to-” She stopped dead in her tracks like she had hit a brick wall and sniffed the air. As she swiveled her head left and right like a dog searching for a specific scent, Pearl knew the jig was up. 

“You guys made something and didn’t tell me, didn’t you?” She asked, sounding like she was greatly disappointed. 

Pearl decided that there was no real point in denying it. “You weren’t here.” She countered. “And besides, I had no way of contacting you. You don’t have a phone, and I assumed you were teaching a class at Little Homeschool. I had no idea when you’d be back.” 

“I _was_ teaching a class,” Amethyst said. “But it let out early for the day.” 

“Do you mean the class let out early or _you_ let it out early?” Pearl asked, raising an eyebrow. 

“Ugh, _it_ let out early. The timing conflicted with something else that I forgot about.” Amethyst said in exasperation. “I don’t do that kind of stuff. Well, at least not anymore...” 

Pearl rolled her eyes and chuckled. “Well, if you really want me too, I could make another batch. I have some free time left before I have to go back to the school, and I need something to distract myself with.” 

Amethyst waved her off. “Eh, it’s fine. I’ll just clean out the fridge later tonight.” She shrugged. “That or I can find some leftovers in my room. But…like I was saying earlier, do you know where Steven is? I need to talk to him about something.” 

“He’s at Little Homeworld with Connie, along with Garnet,” Pearl replied. “You just missed them. What do you need to talk to him about it anyway? Is it important?” 

“Yeah, but not in a good way,” Amethyst said. “I was over at Greg’s car wash, and he told me that Steven’s therapist quit his job this afternoon. Guess all the stuff about aliens and Diamonds and how the Earth almost blew up that one time was too much to take in.” She strolled over to the couch and plopped herself down on it. “Probably should have done a slow burn in that regard. Sort of like we tried to do with Connie, until the flame kinda...grew out of control.” 

“Well, I suppose that means we won’t have to pay the bill we received,” Pearl said, trying to look on the optimistic side of things. “Although I can’t even imagine what Steven told him that made him quit like that…” 

“Um...what I just said maybe?” Amethyst suggested. “Aliens exist, the Earth was almost destroyed _several_ times, and he’s the son of a former intergalactic dictator turned savior of the planet turned mother. Lot to take in. Dude’s brain just couldn’t handle it.” 

Pearl sighed and silently reminded herself to give the therapy bill to Amethyst to stash away in her room later in. “That’s probably true.” She said. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go to Little Homeworld. If you don’t want me to make anything for you, then there’s someone I’d like to check up on there.” She straightened herself and headed for the door. 

“Uh, the warp pads right there,” Amethyst said, pointing a finger at it. 

“I know,” Pearl said. “But I could use a walk. I need to clear my head.” She then left without a word, a blank expression on her face. Amethyst was left briefly befuddled by this behavior but shrugged it off and walked over towards the fridge. 

“Time to see if that ranch dressing I left in here twenty weeks ago is still drinkable…” 

And as Steven, Connie, Garnet, and Pearl all headed out, the purple Gem was left by herself to get hopelessly sick, the only one of them lucky enough to not know anything about the Traitor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Steven and Connie are gone, Pearl is struggling inside, and Garnet is having quite the number of disturbing visions. Things are going to start taking a turn for the worst in the next few chapters, mostly because of Steven's poorly thought-out plan. It's not going to be that much fun for the pair, or anyone else. Well, except for maybe one person...


	5. Tight-lipped

“...And thanks for telling us everything you could!” Steven said, waving goodbye to Pearl one last time and tapping his foot down. In an instant, both he and Connie were enveloped in a beam of light, and the last thing Steven saw was Pearl giving him a wave of her own before she vanished along with the rest of the world. Connie didn’t seem to notice it, as she was tightly clutching Buddy’s journal and her sword close to her chest, almost like a person with a few good-luck charms. 

“You know...that went pretty well.” He said, briefly taking his phone out of his pocket and checking the time. “I know it could have gone a little better, but all things considered, we definitely learned a lot of stuff that’ll help us later on.” He looked over at Connie, who wasn’t even looking at him. “Right?”

Connie didn’t respond and instead sighed while staring straight down, gazing into the infinite abyss of luminosity that surrounded them. 

“Hey...are you okay?” Steven asked, concerned because she was suddenly starting to remind him of his pre-therapy self. When she didn’t give him a response, he sighed and gave her the best comforting look he could muster. “Connie, if you _really_ don’t want to do this, then it’s fine. It’s like I said earlier. You can go home and relax while I-”

“No, it’s okay.” Connie blurted out, reassuring him of her unpleasant mood. “It’s nothing you have to be concerned about. I was just thinking about my studies.”

“Oh. Those.” Steven said, using the same tone he used when he was discussing his schedule (ugh) to others. “I hope you don’t mind me asking, mostly because I already mentioned this earlier back at the library, but are they really going okay? Or is there something about them that you just don’t want to talk about?”

“You...wouldn’t understand,” Connie said, turning away from him like she was ashamed. “You’ve never had to go to school or study or do any of those things, so I‘m not sure you’d get what I’d be talking about. I mean, no offense, but...it’s something I don’t think you can help me with.”

Steven chuckled. “Connie, the person responsible for everything I know is _Pearl_. And I’m sure she did a better job at homeschooling me than any human teacher could. Trust me, if it’s related to school, then I can help you with it. And even if I don’t, I’ll still do my best to understand.”

Connie went over everything he said and then nodded. “Okay. I’ll talk.” She said, admitting defeat. “It’s just that...well, my studies aren’t going “okay.” I mean, I’m learning new stuff and memorizing everything I need to, but I’m not enjoying any of it. It feels endless at times. There’s so much information I have to take in, day after day, night after night, and it’s all getting to be a bit overwhelming.”

Steven nodded in response, understanding perfectly. After all, even when he was following his therapist’s advice to the letter, he still felt overwhelmed by everything daily. Even if they were dealing with two different things, he knew where Connie was coming from. All the expectations piled on top of you...the weight of it all can almost crush a person at times.

Seeing no verbal response from Steven, Connie continued. “Not to mention what I _could_ be doing.” She said. “Think about it! Just a few years ago I was on an alien planet, dozens if not hundreds of light-years from Earth, and fighting a giant alien dictator made of pure light and who was obsessed with t-posing for some reason!”

Steven snorted at the last part, noting how true this was. But he otherwise remained quiet and let Connie keep going, not wanting to interrupt until he felt the time was right.

“But now...now I’m back here, living a totally normal life. Sometimes it feels hard to adjust, you know?” Connie shrugged. “During Spinel’s attack on Earth, it almost felt...nice.” She quickly looked away from Steven before she could meet his gaze, clearly unhappy with herself that she admitted this. “Nice to be a part of the Crystal gems again and help save the world from some gigantic threat. Like the old days. I know it’s wrong to say because the world was literally ending at that time, but it still felt...exhilarating.”

Steven (carefully this time) bit his lip when he heard her use the phrase “old days”, almost like it had physically hurt him. Although Connie’s rant about not being able to adjust was about what he expected, it was so similar to what he felt at times that it was starting to make him uncomfortable.

But he couldn’t admit that. Not yet at least. He had to help her through this, just his therapist had helped him. Because after everything, he was almost looking _forward_ to seeing them next week, instead of loathing the sessions as per usual. (Almost.) After that car ride, and his near-breakdown, he needed someone to help him. Professionally.‘Hm. Hey, maybe I should recommend them to Connie.’ He thought. ‘They helped me more than I ever imagined they could, so I’m sure that they can help her with this. That way, she gets help and I can keep working on this whole “traitor” business, and...and…wait...what are you thinking?’ Steven scoffed and almost slapped himself right then and there, disgusted by what he was considering doing. 

‘What are you thinking?’ He repeated, scowling at the ideas forming in his head. ‘Recommend them to Connie so she can get help while you run off and do this? Come on Universe! She’s right next to you, _willingly_ explaining all her problems, even after she said she didn’t want to! She’s obviously asking you for help, even if it doesn’t look like it. And you’re not even listening anymore! Now put your head in the game and do some good! And not for yourself. For Connie.’

Immediately, Steven’s blasphemous (at least in his eyes) thoughts retreated into his subconscious as he came back to reality, where Connie was still talking, looking like she hadn’t even stopped to take a breath.

“...But sometimes I think that “no, the old days weren’t fun _all_ the time, why would you want to go back?” And that just makes more problems when I think about it. So…do you understand now Steven? You...get where I’m coming from, right?” She asked, staring him in the eyes with a desperate look on her face. 

Steven winced and groaned internally. He had seemingly tuned back in at the worst possible time, right when Connie was finishing up her length and almost certainly complicated explanation. Although, those last couple of sentences still told him more than enough. She was having trouble coping with everything nowadays, just like him. So he just had to do whatever he could. 

“Yeah.” He said nervously. “I do. But you know, I was the same way, Connie. I didn’t like having to adjust to all the new stuff that the Diamonds and the peace across the galaxy and all of that brought with it. But I got through it in the end.” He then hesitated before mumbling, “Well, most of it anyway…”

“What was that last part?”

“I said that I got through it, so you can too.” Steven lied, momentarily hating himself for doing so. “And I found out that the best way is to stop letting all these things bother you. These problems...they’re solvable. No matter what your anxiety or that little part of your brain that’s always lying tries to tell you.” He stated, resulting in Connie tilting her head at him like a confused puppy. “But you can’t solve them by worrying about them all the time and letting them consume you. The best way is to-”

“Are you just repeating what your therapist told you?” Connie asked, growing suspicious of how this sounded like he was reading it directly off a script.

Steven came to a halt and snapped his mouth shut, shocked that Connie figured it out so fast. In truth, he _had_ been repeating his therapist, listing all the most valuable pieces of advice he got from them and putting it in an abridged form. And now Connie knew, because his reaction pretty much confirmed her claim. 

And he wasn’t about to lie to her _again_.

“...Yes.” He admitted shamefully. “I am. B-but it works you know! It really works! All his advice, everything they told me, I’ve been trying to follow it to the letter and-”

“Trying?” Connie interjected, raising an eyebrow and interrupting him for the second time.

“Uh...yeah. Trying” Steven said, rubbing the back of his head. “It hasn’t been that easy at times. It can be hard to motivate myself to get out there, or to ignore all the stuff that he told me to, like the excess things on my sche…timetable that I can do without.” He enunciated, before hugging himself and giving Connie a grin. “But like I said, it works when I actually try. I’ve gotten better because of it. Much better than I thought I would after those sessions. It’s...it’s helping.”

“Well, that's good to hear. Even if you already told me all this back at the library. I’m glad to see that...you’re getting better with your problems.” She said, clearly fed up that her own was still causing her massive amounts of stress.

Steven frowned. “Connie-”

“No,” Connie said sternly, making Steven rear back in surprise. That...that was new. Not to mention extremely concerning. “I don’t think I wanna talk about it anymore. Just..please forget about it.” She said, waving him off. She then buried her face in her hands and shook her head frantically, knowing exactly the kind of look Steven was giving her right now. “I know. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that, and this isn’t like me at all. But after everything, I need a break from studying and college and my parents. And...I thought hanging out with you might be a good opportunity for that, but now I’m not so sure about it.”

Although she had asked him not to probe further, Steven knew that he didn’t have a choice. He wasn’t about to let her suffer in silence for the whole warp trip (which was taking much, much longer than usual for some reason), while he stood there and did nothing about it. That wasn’t the decision he made just a few minutes ago. He was here to help.

“You know…...I told you you didn’t have to come.” He said. “You could have just stayed at the Beach house with Pearl or gone back to your place. I wouldn’t have complained.” He rubbed both his arms and glanced over at her, but she didn’t return it, instead preferring to stare into the light stream again. “Connie, if you felt this way, _if you don’t want to be here_ , then why did you agree to continue doing this investigation with me in the first place?”

Connie wanted to remain silent, but the tone in Steven’s voice told her that he wasn’t going to stop asking until she finally said something, so she gave in and tried to give him an honest answer.

Emphasis on “tried”.

“It’s not that I don’t like it.” She said. “It just feels too familiar. All these questions...all these answers...it reminds me of studying and school and all that. I wanted to have fun with you, but it's almost like I’m back at home, and you’re right beside me studying as well! Heck, we even have our own textbook! That’s basically what the Journal is…” She trailed off and huffed, while Steven switched his expression to one of confusion.

“Wait, so the reason you’re uncomfortable doing this is because….it reminds you of all the stuff you have to do at home?” He asked, not sure if he was entirely understanding what she was saying.

“It’s not that funny,” Connie said.

“I never said it was,” Steven said quickly, realizing he probably could have worded that better. “I...I don’t think it’s humorous at all Connie. Why did you think I was making fun of you for it? I’d never do that! Especially not with something as serious as this.”

Connie flinched as if someone had pinched her. “Well...I…”

Before she could answer, however, the pair were greeted with a blast of fresh air and sunlight as the warp pad finally arrived at Little Homeworld. Connie breathed a sigh of relief, knowing that this would cause Steven to drop the matter and instead try to talk to her about it later. Because now that they had arrived, the “investigation” could start up once again.

And he did just that. 

For approximately five seconds.

“Finally!” He exclaimed, stretching his arms out like he had just woken up from a nap. “Well...I guess we can discuss that later.” Steven said, before pausing and frowning, causing Connie to have a similar reaction. She knew what he was going to say next. “...Unless you really don’t want to be here?” He asked, putting it up as an offer rather than a question. “Because, Connie, if this is a serious problem you’re having, then I’m more than happy to postpon-”

“No, I’m okay,” Connie said. “I just needed to let off some steam back there. I just got a bit carried away with everything.” She then put on her best smirk, which surprisingly wasn’t forced. But I’ll admit it. Even if the advice you gave me was stolen from your therapist…it was still pretty sound now that I think about it. So I guess I’m going to try and do everything you said? Hopefully, it works out for me as it did for you.”

Steven hesitated for a brief moment, but soon he smiled back, giving Connie a brief moment of solace. Although this smile was definitely a forced one. Because no matter how many times she could try to convince him otherwise, Steven suspected that she still wasn’t okay with the whole situation. _But_ he knew for a fact that forcing her to talk about it would be too painful. He remembered how hard it was for him to speak when the Gems requested that he tell them about his problems. He wasn’t about to let his best friend go through that.

However, the second it looked like she truly didn’t want to be here, then he would take her home and ask for help from her parents. She wouldn’t like it. She would probably beg him not to do it. But it had to be done because he couldn’t let her turn out the same way he did. Besides, he had begged the gems not to send him off to therapy, and that whole thing had turned out okay. 

For the most part...

“Then I’m glad,” Steven said. “You know that the last thing I want right now is to see you unhappy.”

“Too late for that…” Connie sighed, looking up at the sky. “I’m sorry I just unleashed all my problems on you like that. You probably have enough to deal with already without my rambling.”

Steven was about to respond to this, probably to say something about how going through those kinds of problems was normal for any person, but before he could both he and Connie heard a loud and insanely cheerful voice from high in the sky. Connie’s prayers had been answered by a literal gift from above.

“Hey, Steven!” It yelled, and they both glanced up and squinted to see a winged silhouette hanging out directly in front of the sun. It hovered there for a few moments before rocketing down to Earth with incredible speed, so fast that it was almost hard to see with the naked eye. The figure came to a stop only ten feet off the ground and floated the rest of the way, before landing with a soft _tap_.

“Hey, Lapis!” Steven said, giving her a wave. “Nice to see you again. That was a really dramatic entrance though…”

Lapis smiled back at him before answering. “Well, I was just excited to see you guys, that’s all. After all, it’s been a while since either you or Connie visited us.” She then gave a wave of her own to Connie, who responded with a timid, “Hi Lapis,” much to the blue Gems confusion, who was used to seeing the girl in a much more cheerful mood. But she shrugged it off and turned back to Steven, who was in a more obvious mood to talk.

“So, what brings you two here?” She asked. “Are you looking for someone in particular, or are you just swinging by and seeing how Little Homeworld is doing?

“Well, uh, before we get to that, I actually have a question of my own,” Steven said. “Is there something wrong with the warp pad system? Because it took a _lot_ longer to get from the Temple to here than it usually does. We must have been in there for a good five minutes.”

“Oh yeah. I probably should have flown over there and warned you about that.” Lapis said, letting Steven and Connie know that the warp pads were indeed on the fritz. “For some reason, all the warp pads on Earth now take a lot longer to go through. Peridot calculated that it now takes ten times as long to warp somewhere than normal, and now she’s busy trying to figure out the cause of the whole thing. It’s been causing a lot of problems.”

“I guess that explains it,” Connie said, hoping that focusing on something other than her issues would raise her spirits. “But when did this start happening?”

“Just this morning,” Lapis replied. “So we haven’t had much time to figure it out. We did warp to another planet to test it out there, but those pads all worked fine. Whatever’s happening, it’s only affecting Earth.”

‘Only Earth?’ Steven thought to himself, intrigued. ‘That’s odd. This...this could actually be pretty serious if someone or something is targeting Earth directly. Maybe I should talk to the Diamonds about this. They might know what’s going on and…and...hm.’ He then sighed internally and took this back immediately, knowing that doing that might make things worse. 

‘No, that wouldn’t be good.’ He thought. ‘I have enough to focus on already, and there’s a reason that talking to them is usually my last resort. Besides, I’m getting too anxious about this. If someone wanted to attack Earth, they would do it the old fashioned way, not by screwing up the warp pads. All that does is cause a bit of minor inconvenience. And besides, whatever it is, I’m sure that Peridot can figure it out. She’s always been fantastic when it comes to stuff like that.’

“So what _do_ you guys need?” Lapis asked, repeating her question from earlier and knocking Steven out of his head. “Is everything okay?”

“Everything’s fine...mostly,” Steven responded. “But we came here to ask Bismuth about something that Connie found in the archives at the library. And...we want to talk to her in particular because it’s related to some stuff from the Rebellion.”

Lapis arched an eyebrow. “The Rebellion? Really?” She asked, unable to mask her surprise. “I thought that humans were the only ones who frequented that library. I’ve never seen any Gems hanging around it. What did you find there that’s related to the war?”

“This,” Connie answered, holding up the journal for all to see. “It was written by this guy named Buddy Buddwick, who was a human explorer that liked to travel the world inspecting all sorts of Gem ruins.” She opened the book to the page with the mural. “Steven and I found a drawing on this page, and we’ve been busy trying to find more information about it.”

“Did you go to Pearl?” Lapis suggested. “Because from what Peridot told me, she seems to know the most about Gem history…especially if it’s concerning the Rebellion.”

“We already went to her,” Steven answered. “And while she provided us with a lot of information about it, there are a few things left that she either didn’t know or...couldn’t tell us, so to speak.”

“...Couldn’t tell you?” Lapis asked. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Oh. Um, well, Pearl told us everything she knew, but there was one part that my mom had ordered her to never tell anyone about.” Steven revealed. “And since she was “made to follow orders”, she _literally_ can’t say anything about it. It was the same with the secret about Rose being Pink. And that’s kind of irritating, considering that means it’s really important, if my mom wanted to keep it a secret that badly.”

If Lapis wasn’t intrigued before, she certainly was now, and looked like she was ready to hear every single little detail that they had learned about it.

“So what’s the deal with this mural then?” She asked. “What’s it showing?”

Steven glanced over at Connie, who nodded and handed the journal over to Lapis. She took it and started inspecting the page, staring at it like a detective staring at the evidence for a murder case.

“Well?” Steven asked. “What do you think? Do you recognize anything?”

“I don’t…” Lapis answered, sounding slightly disappointed in herself. “But I do recognize a few Gems in it. Rose, Pearl, and…” She grimaced and clenched her teeth together. “...Jasper.” Lapis paused for a moment and took a deep breath, the image of Jasper bringing back several old memories that she would much rather have forgotten. “But I don’t know who the fourth Gem is. If they’re even a Gem at all. I’m guessing that’s the thing you two are trying to find more about?”

“Yup,” Steven said, taking the journal back from her and handing it to Connie again. “It’s a really crazy story, based on what Pearl told us already.” 

“Well, don’t leave me hanging,” Lapis said, chuckling. “Because I’ll be honest, I kinda want to know more about it now. You’ve got me intrigued by this.”

Steven grinned, happy to have another person that might help them with their investigation. Maybe he could convince Bismuth to help too once they talked to her. As for Peridot...well, she had to fix the warp pad system. But the more people he got helping them out, the faster it could be solved.

‘Time to give Lapis the cliff notes version.’ Steven thought, knowing that repeating everything Pearl said word for word would take at least a half-hour. ‘Hopefully, I can fit everything important in. Or at least what’s _really_ important.’

“Well, I guess I should start from the beginning.” He said. “So there was this human soldier who fought against Homeworld during the Rebellion, but according to Pearl, they were captured at one point, experimented on, and forced to fight for the Diamonds under the alias of “The Traitor”.”

Steven paused to let Lapis take all this in, but she didn’t react beyond arching _both_ eyebrows and saying, “go on…”

Steven cleared his throat and continued. “Okay, so eventually it came to a point where they fought my mom, but they lost, retreated, and...neither Pearl nor Rose ever saw them again.”

There was a brief silence.

“Is that it?” Lapis asked, expecting more.

“Kind of,” Steven said, shrugging. “Pearl said that she and Rose only ever met them once, although later they did go to the lab where they were...changed, and took all the notes that detailed how they were made and stuff.”

“Then shouldn’t you go to that lab?” Lapis asked. “If you’re looking for answers, I think the best way would be to go straight to the source.”

“We would, but unfortunately, Pearl and my mom burned it to the ground along with _all_ the notes they found,” Steven said. “Which left us with the only option of asking around.”

Lapis frowned and crossed her arms, noticeably upset at this detail. “Why’d they do that?” She asked. “A lab like that could have been really useful to them if Homeworld ever decided to invade again. Those kinds of buildings had some pretty advanced weaponry stored inside them…”

“Probably so no more humans could be made into soldiers.” Connie chimed in. “If any humans found that place and altered themselves with the technology in it, the results could be disastrous. Imagine human wars fought but with literal super-soldiers. That would be one for history books…...if anyone was even left alive to tell the tale.”

Steven gulped at the idea, while Lapis didn’t react much, mostly because she didn’t even know humans fought wars against each other in the first place. But what Connie said still caught her attention, and she moved forward with another question like she had it prepared beforehand.

“Do you know what they did?” She asked. “What kind of experiments was it? I’d imagine it would have to be some pretty serious stuff, if it allowed them to fight a Gem like that…”

“It basically made them stronger and faster,” Steven replied, remembering what Pearl said about this part to the letter. “As strong as a Ruby, and as fast as a...well, I don’t know. But Pearl said it was possible that they might have been even faster than her.”

“Really? _Pearl_ said that?” Lapis asked, obviously in shock. “That’s quite the thing for her to admit...”

“That was our reaction as well,” Connie said, letting out an actual genuine laugh. “Although I’m not sure I entirely believe it. They did, you know, lose after all.”

“Yeah.” Steven deadpanned, his eyes briefly narrowing into slits. “But anyways, Homeworld turned them into something stronger, they fought my mom, lost, and disappeared. And thus ended the tale of The Traitor.” Steven made sure to say this last part sarcastically, letting Lapis know that it wasn’t the _real_ end.

“And now you’re trying to find out the real ending?” She quickly deduced, much to Steven’s relief that he didn’t have to explain something else. Now he knew how Pearl felt. “What happened to them after the war?”

“That’s the plan,” Connie said. “I know you said you don’t know who they are, but is it possible that you might have heard a rumor or anything like that during the Rebellion? Anything that might have been referring to them?”

Lapis put her hand to her chin and thought long and hard about this. (About five seconds) She couldn’t remember hearing anything that would imply that a human soldier was fighting for Homeworld, even vaguely, although the lab they mentioned...she _might_ have overheard something about that. 

“Not them specifically, but I do recall someone mentioning that lab.” She said. “It was Blue Diamond’s Pearl, right before Blue herself was about to send me and a bunch of other Lapis Lazuli’s to help colonize the Earth. She was about to send us off, but her Pearl interrupted and said…” Lapis bit the inside of her lip as she struggled to remember. “I think it was something along the lines of, “the progress on the lab is going well my Diamond, and there a new batch of test subjects should arrive there today.” But I didn’t hear much if anything before or after that. Sorry. It’s all I have.”

“No, that’s still helpful,” Steven said. “It proves what Pearl said wasn’t a lie. Blue _was_ the one that made the lab, not Pink. Which is...nice to know. Although I’m going to have to think about what to say to Blue about this next time I see her…”

“Make sure to tell me how it goes,” Lapis said, smirking. “But going back to what we’re talking about earlier, I think I actually have an idea of where they might have gone.” She claimed. “Why don’t you guys contact that human zoo you told me about and ask for their records of every human that was brought there? Because honestly, that’s the only place I feel like they would put them after the war. Back then, there was no two need for some random and needy organic soldier if they were only as strong as a Ruby.”

“That’s...not a bad idea. I suppose we could do that.” Steven said thoughtfully. “Connie, what do you think?”

Connie tapped her foot several times and looked around as if she was waiting for something important to happen. “I think it would be a waste of time. According to those notes Pearl told us about, they were the only human test subject at that lab. I don’t think they would just throw them into the zoo without seeing more of what they were capable of.”

“I feel like they would have seen that after they lost to my mom, along with who knows what else,” Steven said. “But maybe we could check there if nothing else turns up here. I’ll have to ask Peridot to send a message to them though, considering that the zoo is probably visiting planets halfway across the galaxy right now…”

There was another brief silence, as if none of them knew where to take the conversation next.

“Well…I guess you guys want to see Bismuth now.” Lapis said. “Unless there’s anyone else you wanna ask first…?”

“Nope!” Steven said. “Bismuth _was_ the plan from the beginning after Pearl. So yeah, it would be awesome if you could take us to her. Where is she anyway?”

“Where else? At the forge she built.” Lapis replied, looking at the pair like she expected them to already know the answer. “She’s been in there for a few hours now, working on some sort of “special project” that she said would help build the new bathhouse.”

“The new what?” Connie asked, unsure if she had heard her correctly.

“Bathhouse,” Lapis repeated, before noticing the baffled look on the two teens' faces. “Yeah, I know, it’s a little weird. Do you want me to explain?”

“...Yes please, but about you explain on our way over to Bismuth?” Steven suggested. “We’ll have something to discuss.”

Lapis nodded in agreement. “Okay. Let’s go.” She then walked away, and Steven and Connie followed, both of them in a slightly better mood at how smoothly this was all going.

But only slightly.

As they made their way through little Homeworld, Lapis started to explain why they were installing a bathhouse, while the human and half-gem following her listened intently to the story, still baffled by why Little Homeworld would even install one in the first place.

“So one day we were in a general meeting and Bismuth asked everyone for new building ideas, because she loves to keep Little Homeworld constantly expanding.” Lapis elucidated. “The Pearl that used to belong to Yellow Diamond spoke up and said that the Diamonds have these giant baths on Homeworld that they use to relax, and that we should have them as well. Bismuth liked the idea...so we’re kind of doing that now.”

“I remember those,” Steven said, getting some fond _and_ not-so-fond memories of the event. “I thought it was spa day for them or something. But it _is_ nice to see Yellow Pearl interacting more with the Gems here. Does she still go to Homeworld to help the Diamonds from time to time?”

“Yeah, but not under any orders,” Lapis said. “She’s only doing it because she likes it. Although she and Blue Pearl seem to have started their own art class at the school. Apparently, they got the idea after hearing about things called “extracurricular activities” from human schools.”

“I have no idea what those are...but it sounds fun! Good for them for starting something like that on their own.” Steven said, causing Connie to giggle in amusement and roll her eyes. “So when is that bathhouse supposed to be finished? Because I’ll be honest, if it helps me relax, then I’ll use it in a heartbeat…”

“Pretty soon.” Lapis said, not taking notice of the ominous “use it in a heartbeat.” “Me and the other Lapis that came here are doing a lot of the heavy lifting with the water portions, while Bismuth along with a couple of other Quartzes are making everything else. It’s turning out pretty good, even if we did have a few...setbacks, early on.”

“Setbacks like what?” Connie asked.

Lapis took a deep breath and clenched her teeth together, almost like the two of them had brought a terrible memory to light. “It’s probably better if you didn’t know. But don’t worry. Nobody was hurt, and everything’s fine now.”

“Then that’s all that’s important,” Steven said. “As long as nobody was hurt, we can move on and just forget about it.”

“That’s the attitude we’ve been working with,” Lapis said. “But once we’re finished with it, do you want me to send someone to tell you?”

“Yeah,” Steven whispered. “I’d really appreciate it.”

“Great!” Lapis exclaimed. “Then I’ll send Larimar or Snowflake to come get you once it’s finished. Both of them, and most of Little Homeworld frankly, have said that they would like to see you around here more often.” She then put on a perturbed expression. “Just with the Diamonds…”

“Wait, what was that last part about the Diamonds?” Connie asked. “Did they _personally_ come here looking for him?”

Lapis hesitated for a moment before answering. “...No.” She said. “But they did send us a message asking how Steven was feeling.” She turned her head around and looked over at Steven, who was now frowning at the mere mention of the Homeworld monarchs. “They tried to contact you a day or two ago, but you never answered the call. So they called Little Homeworld and asked us if we could check up on you, since they thought it would be, and they actually said this, “rude” for them to show up unannounced.”

“It _definitely_ would,” Steven said, although he was grateful that they put some consideration into how he was feeling and didn’t just appear outside the Temple looking for him. “Did they tell you anything else?”

“Not really,” Lapis replied. “Just that they were looking for you and wanted to see how you were doing.”

“Ah. Nothing much then.” Steven said. “Maybe I’ll call them back later…”

Which was a complete lie of course. Steven didn’t need Diamond problems right now. And by the sound of it, they weren’t contacting him over anything important. They just wanted to see if he was okay. Although this raised another question. Did they _know_ about the problems he was having and his therapy sessions? And if so, who told them? Garnet? Lapis? Peridot?

Pearl?

No, none of that made sense either. Peace might have been made between the Authority and the Crystal gems, but they were _far_ from friends. Steven was really the only link connecting the two sides, but other than that, they avoided each other as much as possible.

He sighed mentally and shook his head. Time to think about something else. No more Diamonds. They already haunted his dreams, so the less of them he saw in real life, the better.

“Are you making any other additions?” Steven asked Lapis, desperate to change the topic. “Any more new buildings beside the bathhouse?”

“Not really,” Lapis replied. “That’s it for now. Although like I said, Bismuth is always looking to expand, so that little fact is sure to change soon. She practically _lives_ in that forge now.”

“Speaking of which…” Connie said. Lapis and Steven saw what she was looking at and smiled upon seeing the mini-forge come into view. Lapis out of regular happiness, and Steven out of relief. 

The investigation could once again get underway.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, sorry this update took so long, there were some technical problems going on. I'll try not to have such a long wait next time. But in the next chapter, we'll see Bismuth's stance on the situation, along with some more internal arguments. Lots o' fun.


	6. Risks and rivalries

As Steven and Connie got closer to the forge, the intense heat from it warmed their entire bodies, almost feeling like a sauna. The two of them could feel sweat dripping down their backs as they got closer to it, the smell of molten steel and iron fresh in the air and hitting them like a brick wall.

Once they were inside however, it became a little more bearable, as if the entire building was air-conditioned. Either that or Bismuth had designed it in a way that the inside remained cool while all the heat it emitted was forcefully pushed outside. How? Steven had no idea. But he did know that if anyone could do something like that, it’d be her.

The first thing they saw upon entering was Bismuth herself, hard at work with her right hand shape-shifted into a mallet, hammering away at something that was out of view for all three of them. Sensing that she had visitors, she turned around and saw a trio comprised of three of her favorite people standing there, and acted accordingly.

“Steven!” She exclaimed, and before he could even react, she rushed forward, changed her hand back to normal, and captured him in a giant bone-crushing hug. Steven’s face quickly turned red and then blue as the air left his lungs and completely deprived him of oxygen, Bismuth lifting him up off the ground in the meanwhile. He felt himself beginning to blackout before a faint and casual “Bismuth, let him go, he can’t breath” rang out, sounding somewhat like Lapis but only really far away. Bismuth seemed to listen and a moment later Steven finally got a chance to breathe as the bulky Gem set him down and released him from the hug. He stood there for a moment, gasping and panting while Bismuth smiled obliviously, unaware of how close she had come to causing real harm to him.

“Uh, sorry.” He heard Bismuth say happily. “I got a little excited. But it’s been so long since I’ve-no, since anyone’s seen you! And frankly, we were all getting a little worried.”

“It’s...okay.” Steven wheezed, knowing that she didn’t mean to hurt him. He started straightening his back out whilst attempting to make small-talk. “But how have you been?”

“Oh, I’ve been great!” Bismuth said. “I’ve been getting so much work done around here lately, and with that new bathhouse on its way, there’s never a dull moment for me. I assume Lapis has already told you two about it?”

“Yeah.” Connie said. “We got the gist of it. And it’s...nice to see you.” The tone in her voice indicated that she was slightly irked that Bismuth had ignored her entirely, if only because she was already in a rather sour mood.

“Oh, uh, sorry. It’s nice to see you again too.” Bismuth said guiltily, just now realizing that she had gone straight for Steven and had ignored Connie altogether. “But...what brings you three to the mini-forge? Did you wanna see what I was working on, or did you just miss me that much?”

“Actually, we’re here for information.” Steven said, finally straightening his back which responded with a faint crack. “We found something that you thought you might be able to help us with.”

“Well, don’t keep me waiting, bring it out!” Bismuth requested. “Always happy to help you guys. Especially if you thought of me first.”

While that technically wasn’t true, Steven didn’t think he should correct her. Instead, he simply turned towards Connie and nodded at her just like he had done when they had shown the journal to Lapis. She nodded back and started to fish the tome out of her backpack.

Once Bismuth spotted it however, she immediately stepped toward and started waving her hands at them like she was panicked. “Whoa whoa!” She exclaimed, making Connie stop just as she took hold of the journal. “I wouldn’t do that here.” She warned. “The last time someone brought a book into the forge, it kinda...spontaneously combusted.”

Connie’s eyes went wide at this sudden revelation, and in response she carefully and slowly put the journal back in her pack, handling it like it was a grenade with the pin pulled out.

“Why don’t we...handle this outside?” Bismuth suggested, and everyone, especially Steven and Connie, silently agreed, not warning to risk the possibility of losing their most valuable asset in this investigation. To lose the journal now meant losing everything. 

The four of them then left the building, Bismuth being the last to exit as she put away whatever she was working into a makeshift safe. Once outside, the heat the mini-forge was discharging returned, and they all decided to go a little farther than five feet out the door.

Once they had found a good spot underneath a conveniently placed tree, Bismuth leaned against it and spoke up again.

“Alright, we should be good out here. Show me that book you had.” She said. Connie hurriedly took the journal out and opened it to that page, before handing it over to Bismuth. The bulky Gem studied it for a moment before looking at them quizzingly.

“Should I…know what this is?” She asked, stumped.

Steven paused, realizing that they probably should have given her some context first. “Right. Sorry.” He said. “Me and Connie found that in the archives at the library, and it was written by a human named Buddy who explored a bunch of Gem ruins a couple hundred years ago. We came across that page, had no idea what we were looking at, and so the two of us have kinda been looking around for answers about it.”

Bismuth turned the book sideways and then upside down, as if doing so would reveal some hidden message. “Hm. Well first off, I see Rose, as well as... Pearl. Huh. Why don’t you ask her about this?” She asked, repeating the same question that Lapis had posed earlier. “She knows a lot more about this kind of stuff than I do…”

“We already went to her.” Connie said, getting a feeling that this conversation would go the same as Lapis’s. “She told us a lot of stuff, all of it useful, but...we didn’t get the whole story. We’re just trying to fill in the blanks now. And unfortunately, they’re pretty big blanks…”

“Huh. Didn’t go to me first after all…” Bismuth said softly, almost in disappointment. But a second later, she grinned and shook off whatever negative feelings Connie’s revelation had brought on, undaunted. “So what's the story then? Another terrible secret that she kept from everyone possibly coming to light?”

Steven forced a smile. “Heh. I hope not. But basically, we went to Pearl and she told us that...during the Gem war, Homeworld captured this human soldier and experimented on them, before turning them into a weapon to fight for the Diamonds...it was all pretty messed up. The fourth person in that mural that you probably don’t recognize is that human.”

Bismuth took another look at the page, her eyes widening at the information that Steven had given her. “This mural’s trying to portray a human? I thought that was some kind of terrible rendition of a Quartz.”

“No, that’s Jasper. She’s there as well.” Steven said.

“Oh trust me, I see her just fine.” Bismuth said, almost with a small tone of contempt. “But why’d they do that? Every human I ever saw fighting was on the Earth side. I’ve never heard of anything like this…”

Steven winced. That line right there confirmed his fears. Bismuth didn’t know anything about the Traitor. But he had had a feeling that this was the case from the beginning, considering that one, she had been bubbled and completely missed a bunch of important stuff, which evidently included the battle the mural was depicting, and two, the fact that she hadn’t even been in the mural too begin with gave Steven a bit of a hint. Along with the fact that even Pearl said Rose ordered her to never tell anyone what happened, so even if Bismuth had been around for the time of the battle she likely wouldn’t have known anything about it.

So that only left one person that he knew would know anything about it. And the one he knew that wouldn’t tell them anything about it, simply because it’d allow her to see Steven suffer. And just because Jasper said that he could “do whatever he wanted” a few months earlier, that didn’t mean she was going to be in a helping mood. Maybe he could convince her to give him another “lesson” in exchange for information…

As Steven stood thinking to himself, putting on the same face that he had back at the Temple, Connie saw that he wasn’t going to be answering anytime soon, so she started the story up again where he had left off.

“Pearl believes that they might have been brainwashed.” She told Bismuth. “Along with a bunch of other things. They were, in her words, “enhanced” so they could fight par on par with other Gems.”

“Enhanced, huh?” Bismuth said, bringing her hand to her chin. “Just how enhanced were they?”

“As strong as a Ruby and as fast as a...really fast Gem.” Lapis interjected, not knowing what Gem to use for an example of speed. “They told me about all this stuff earlier.”

“And do you know anything about it beforehand?” Bismuth asked, handing the journal back to Connie, who stuffed it in her backpack.

“I knew that the lab where they were changed existed, but...that was it.” Lapis replied. “And that’s literally it. I knew that it existed, but I never knew what was going on. That sort of thing wasn’t meant for Gems like me to know back then.”

“A lab? That’s odd.” Bismuth said. “If Homeworld built a lab like that on Earth, I should have known about it from the start. Heck, I should have worked on it!”

“Really? Why?” Connie asked. 

“Ha!” Bismuth said, the noise practically exploding out of her and startling everyone nearby. (Except for Steven, who was now thinking about Garnet and the possibilities of what her future vision could mean with figuring out the truth of the Traitor.) “I worked on every single Gem structure built on Earth. And I know that seems like a lot, but by the time the war started, there weren’t even that much. And then nobody had time to build anything else. Everyone just focused on fighting…”

“That’s actually really cool.” Connie said, looking at Bismuth with a hint of admiration. “But you said that you never worked on any kind of lab?”

“Definitely not.” Bismuth said, shaking her head. “Spires, arenas, but not any sort of lab. If Homeworld really built one of those, then I guess they made sure to keep it under wraps.”

“So it’s basically Homeworld’s equivalent of a classified location…” Connie noted. “I wonder why they did that? Did they want to keep the experiments that they were doing in there that secret?”

“Probably.” Bismuth said. “I mean, if there was a way for them to make organics as strong as a Gem, even a low-ranking one, I’d want to make sure that nobody ever got their hands on that information. It would be chaos!” She scratched her head. “And who knows? Maybe this human you’re talking about was just the beginning, but the war ended before they could make any further progress.”

Connie winced. “Hm. Th-that was something we hadn’t really considered. But...Pearl said that the Traitor was-”

“Traitor?” Bismuth said, an image of Rose quickly flashing into her mind.

“Oh, yeah. The Traitor is what they were called by both Homeworld and the few Crystal Gems that knew they existed.” Connie explained. “I assume it’s because fighting for the Diamond’s would make them a turncoat for humanity, although...with the war going on, I’m betting it got confusing at times.”

“Huh. I doubt it.” Bismuth said. “I mean, I can see where you’re coming from. Anybody back then that said “traitor” would immediately think of Rose. But if hardly anyone knew that they were even a thing, then the ones that did would have to know exactly who was being talked about when they were mentioned.”

“I guess so.” Connie said. “But anyway, Pearl told us that they had no other humans test subjects. Just this one. And while I guess while that means you might still be correct about how they just ran out of time before performing further tests, I think...I think……”

“Think…” Bismuth said, echoing her. “What is it?”

“...Nothing.” Connie said quickly. “You may still be right about how they ran out of time. That’s all. But uh...I think that’s the whole story. There are a few bits we left out, but those aren’t really important.”

“Fair enough.” Bismuth said, shrugging. She looked over at Steven, who was still stuck somewhere in cloud-cuckoo-land. Seeing that he was completely zoned out of the conversation, Connie snapped her fingers in front of his face and he came to attention like someone had woken him up from a nap.

“Huh? What?” He said, looking around. “Oh, sorry. What did I miss?”

Lapis sighed. “Not much.” She said, crossing her arms. “Bismuth learned everything important about the Traitor, revealed that she worked in every Gem-built structure on Earth except that lab, and we’re considering the possibility that Homeworld wanted to make more superhumans for their army, but the end of the war prevented it.”

“Ah.” Steven said, taking this all in but then quickly forgetting the majority of it. “I suppose that’s it then?”

“Pretty much.” Bismuth said. “Anything else you say is news to me. It’s like I said. This is the first time I’ve ever heard about this kind of thing.”

“Oh…” Steven mumbled, his voice so low that only Connie, who was standing right next to him, could hear it.

“You sound disappointed.” She said, confusing the two Gems standing in front of her.

“It’s not that.” Steven said. “It’s just that I was hoping we could have gotten as much information out of this trip as we did with Pearl, and…yeah.”

“Steven, that’s literally what disappointment is.” She told him. “But don’t worry. Just because we didn’t get all the info we wanted, that doesn’t mean we should just give up now.”

Steven was about to say something on how he didn’t plan to give up at all and actually knew who they had to go to next, but Bismuth spoke first, using a noticeably apologetic tone while rubbing her hand through her hair.

“Sorry I couldn’t help you that much. I wish I knew more, but obviously…” She briefly looked away and for a single moment, and Steven thought that he could almost see a hint of shame on her face. “...fate decided that that wasn’t meant to be.”

“It’s okay. You still told us everything you could, and even if it wasn’t much, it was still nice to talk to you again.” Steven said, putting a smile back on the blacksmith’s face. Which then faded due to what he said next. “And it wasn’t fate by the way.” He continued. “Even if you were around for the battle the mural is portraying, I doubt you would still know anything about it. At least, assuming that you weren’t with my mom at the time…”

“What do you mean?” Bismuth asked, looking at him in confusion. “Considering that it got its own mural, I feel like this fight should have been a pretty major event during that battle. So even if I hadn’t seen it firsthand, I should have heard about it from someone else who saw it afterward.” She then paused and waited for Steven to respond, before she realized exactly who was fighting the Traitor in the mural, and what they would do to preserve their secrets. “Hold on, what did Rose-”

“No! No! She didn’t do anything!” Steven said frantically, knowing just how fast a conversation involving his mother could turn into a shouting match. “It’s just...Pearl said that that battle was one of the most brutal they ever fought, but they only realized it afterward. Once my mom had...defeated the Traitor, or something…” 

Steven has wanted to say “wounded”, but when he tried, his mouth had refused to listen to his brain for whatever reason, and so he settled in something even more vague and open to possibilities. Still, it made him uncomfortable, almost like he had just chugged a carton of expired milk.

“...She and Pearl were forced to retreat.” He continued, hoping he hadn’t spent too much time thinking about (hopefully) trivial things. “Apparently there were only a few Crystal Gems left by the end, and none of them had been with Rose or Pearl at the time.”

“I see.” Bismuth said, noticeably grateful that this wasn’t going to turn into another “discover another horrible thing about Rose/Pink” session, of which she had seen very, very many of. “But why would that mean I still wouldn’t have seen them? Are you saying that I would have gotten shattered or something? Because let me tell you Steven, I think that I-”

“No, he’s saying that the odds were that you would have been somewhere else at the time of the battle.” Connie blurted out. “Probably off fighting someone else.”

Bismuth appeared to think about this and then shrugged again. “Hm. That’d probably be true.” She admitted. “Back in the war, I usually fought alongside Garnet as a duo, so I suppose you’re right. I would have been with her anyways. We made quite the team…”

“Hey, wait, that reminds me of something.” Connie said. “Steven, didn’t Pearl say that Garnet also knew about this? That she found out what happened in the end?”

“Oh yeah…” Steven said, reminiscing. “I think she did say something along those lines. I wonder how she found out? Future vision maybe?”

“Hold on, if Garnet knows, if she knew all the way back then, then I definitely would have known. She shared everything with me. Stuff that happened on and off the battlefield.” Bismuth said, before laughing. “Ha! That means I was right!”

“Right about what?” Lapis asked.

“Uhh...something.” Bismuth said. “It slipped my mind.”

“Right.” Connie said, rolling her eyes.

“Okay, so anyway…” Steven said, taking back control of the conversation. “That all happened. Everyone died, and my mom and Pearl were the only ones to see the Traitor.”

“Then why didn’t Pearl tell Garnet later?” Bismuth asked. “Or anyone else?”

Steven rubbed the back of his head. “That's complicated.” He said. “Remember how I told you that Pearl couldn’t say anything about Rose being Pink because of an order she gave her?”

“Yeah, I remember.” Bismuth said. “Kind of ridiculous if you ask me. Especially considering……oh.” Her expression fell flat. “Oh, I see where this is going. Let me guess, Rose ordered Pearl to never tell anyone about what to the Traitor?”

“Pretty much.” Steven said. “Pearl got slapped with another gag order by mom, so she literally couldn’t tell us anything. It’s the whole Pink/Rose mess all over again.”

“Why didn’t you just ask her to let you into her Gem?” Bismuth pointed out. “Worked last time, if what she told me about it is the truth...”

“She deleted the memory of it that was sorted in her Gem.” Connie said, before shaking her head slightly. “Of course, that could have been a lie, but we let it go because we didn’t want to pursue it further. It was already pretty hard for her to talk about it anyway, and...we trusted her enough that she was telling the truth. She was pretty shaken up by the whole thing. I think she got a flashback or two just by retelling it all.”

“Shaken up, huh?” Bismuth said, not posing it as a question. “Yeah, that sounds like Pearl. Especially when she’s telling all her war stories. But I get it. I have a lot of bad memories from the Rebellion too. Some are worse than others, and some are better. But none of them are what I’d describe as “good”. We were always fighting, and even when we tried to relax, it seemed like there were enemies around every corner. The war could be…” Bismuth shuddered and almost seemed to get a flashback of her own. “...terrifying at times.”

“The whole war was really like that?” Connie asked, astonished. “For over a thousand years?”

“Eh. Maybe I was exaggerating for a bit there.” Bismuth admitted. “Now that I look back on it, it was really only like that during its height. But...like I said, none of it was truly good. Never was, and I doubt a single Gem in the entire galaxy remembers it as such.” Bismuth rubbed the back of her head again. “But uh...now what?” She asked. “I gave you everything I could. Is there someone else you’re going to ask next? Maybe try and find Garnet now?”

“Well-” Connie started to say, before Steven interrupted her.

“No...” He said. “Besides Garnet, there’s at least two people left that I’m positive will know some details about the Traitor. One of which is particularly close to home. And although I wanted to avoid this, I can see that there’s really no better choice. All things considered, at least...”

Who?” Bismuth and Lapis asked simultaneously. 

“I’m surprised that you guys even have to ask, considering how much you’ve both looked at that mural.” Steven chuckled, although there was no humor behind that laugh. “Who else is still around, in a place that we know the whereabouts of, and is depicted in that thing?”

Bismuth’s eyes bugged out yet again as she realized who he was talking about, and spoke in a tone with such disapproval that one would assume Steven told her that he had decided to become a full-fledged space dictator. 

“Jasper.” She said, her fists clenching reflexively. “The “perfect quartz” or whatever they used to call her. Do you...really think that’s a good idea Steven? We haven’t seen her in Little Homeworld since...well, uh, forever.”

“It’ll be fine.” Steven said, flashing her a smile and waving her fears off. “I know you guys don’t trust her, but I’ve visited her a couple times, and I think she’s actually starting to warm up to me.”

“Define “warm up.” Lapis said, crossing her arms again.

Steven twiddled his fingers together nervously and looked away like he had something to hide. “Umm...I mean, there are still a few things we may need to work on.”

“That’s what I thought.” Bismuth said, before placing a hand on his shoulder. “Steven, I know you can take care of yourself just fine, but after seeing the way she fought us in the war, I’m really not comfortable with you going anywhere near her. Even if you did say she’s getting better.” She inhaled and then crouched down, looking him dead in the eyes. “And pardon my language, but I also know for a fact that Lapis and probably everyone else in this entire town sure as hell don’t want you doing that either.”

“Yeah, I agree.” Connie chimed in. “I understand how desperate we are for information at this point Steven, but what makes you think Jasper will help us out? She hates you. She hates all of us.”

“I wouldn’t use hate.” Steven said. “More like…really, really, really, really isn’t fond of.”

“Okay, when you use that many “reallys”, it basically means the same thing as hate.” Bismuth pointed out. 

Steven sighed. “Listen you guys. Just because you all have some bad memories with her-”

“All our memories of her are bad memories.” Lapis said. “I still haven’t forgotten what she did to me. What she forced me to do. I looked into her mind when I was trapped in that fusion. I saw who she was. And Steven, she...is a monster.” Lapis said bluntly. “I’ll never trust her, not in a million years, and neither should anyone else” She then bit her lip and took a step forward. “And...if you start to trust her Steven...then I’m not sure I can trust you as much anymore.”

Steven almost choked on the air he was breathing after hearing this. She didn’t trust him anymore?! After everything they had been through?! Over something as trivial as this?! Steven started grumbling and his hands clenched together as he saw their worried and suspicious glances cast down on him, looking at him in a way that none of them had in a long time. The anger inside him started to rise as Bismuth and Lapis frowned at his desperate attempts to convince them Jasper was a good person, and he could almost sense his pink state start to take form. The others, however, stepped back in concern as he began to glow like a hybrid lightbulb, the glow casting pink light against their bodies and the surrounding area.

They tried to talk to him again, asking him what was happening and if he was okay, but he didn’t hear it. He didn’t, couldn’t, calm himself down. He ignored their voices and the whispers in his brain, which were telling him to follow the advice his therapist had given him. He didn’t care about that right now. He just wanted to scream and yell at them about how they should be more trusting of Jasper, about how she had changed, and that if they couldn’t accept that, then he wouldn’t be able to trust them anymore.

But as he was about to let loose at them with everything he had, his gaze shifted back over to Connie, who was still looking at him with an unmatchable glare. But there was no suspicion in that gaze. Just worry. The way she stared at him like that...the exact same way she had done for years...it instantly made all the anger vanish like it had never been there in the first place, almost like magic. Focusing entirely on her, Steven took a few deep breaths and the pink glow surrounding him faded away, and while that eased his nerves to the point that he felt like he had been injected with pure dopamine, unfortunately it did not ease the fears of the two Gems standing in front of him.

“Uh, Steven…” Bismuth started nervously, taking a cautious step towards him. “What was-”

“It’s nothing. Just a new power I have.” Steven said quickly, which technically wasn’t a lie. “It’s kind of hard to control, so sorry if I freaked you guys out. I...I didn’t mean for it to get out of hand like that.”

“Apology...accepted…” Bismuth muttered, before glancing over at Lapis, who was practically hiding behind the larger Gem like Peridot sometimes did. Connie was almost cowering behind Bismuth as well, but unlike the other two, she didn’t look scared at all for her own well being. Rather, she was still worried about Steven’s, as if she suspected that him going pink would end up causing some kind of self-harm.

Steven merely gulped at these reactions and went from face to face, as if studying them to plan out the next course of action. Once he saw just how anxious and scared they were he realized that he should probably go to Jasper before the others forced him to stay.

“I-I think I’m going to go find Jasper now.” He said awkwardly. “I get that you don’t want me to, but she’s still the best bet. And the only other person besides Garnet that I can think of is the “second option” I mentioned earlier.”

“And who’s that?” Lapis asked.

“Blue, uh, Diamond.” Steven replied sheepishly. “And I’m definitely not dealing with the Diamonds today, so…” He shifted in place for a second and took another deep breath. “...see you around!”

Steven then turned tail and ran away in the direction of the forest path at the back of Little Homeworld, not bothering to say another word or waiting for them to respond. He looked back only once, directly at Connie with a smile on his face as if telling her to follow him before she got left behind. She personally had a mixed reaction to this, and began contemplating whether she should go or not. While there was still a lot about this she wanted to argue against, there was also no way she was letting him go after Jasper alone, even if he had said that he had done this before and everything was fine. If things turned violent, Steven could use the backup.

Plus, it was pretty obvious with the way he turned around just for her that he wanted them to go together. Especially considering that he hadn’t bothered to take the journal with him, which was basically their most and only valuable asset here. Connie suspected that if she didn’t tag along, Steven might just wait by the entrance of the path until she did.

And double plus, Connie couldn’t say no to that smile. It reminded her too much of the smiles that he used to give her, back when things were easier between them. And...less complicated, to put it politely.

So in the end, Connie made her choice. She would follow him, but at the same time, try and talk him out of this and convince him to take it easy for the rest of the day to do normal stuff with her. Because at this point, she was far from enjoying herself. But it was so hard to tell Steven that, and she began to feel that it was just better for the both of them if she kept quiet about it. She clutched the journal close to her yet again and took a single step forward, before taking one last look at Bismuth and Lapis and waving goodbye. Before they could protest against this, Connie ran off as fast as she could to catch up to Steven, who was already at the edge of Little Homeworld. She thought she could hear the two Gems shouting something at her, but Connie ignored them just as he did and instead focused on moving forward, knowing that they likely wouldn’t follow her. 

Once she had caught up and was at his side, she took a few minutes to catch her breath. Steven’s only response to her catching up was to put on another huge grin, obviously overjoyed that she had Jose to tag along. The two walked through the trail for a few minutes in silence, simply enjoying the tranquility of the surrounding forest. It was so nice and silent that Connie almost forgot what the second part of her plan was, and she spoke up as it hit her like a punch in the face.

“Steven...can I ask you something?” She requested. It was time to put her plan into action. Hopefully she could convince him to turn around and forget about the Traitor for the rest of the day. If not...then she’d see how things played out and act accordingly. But either way, she couldn’t abandon him now. If she just left after following him like this, Steven’s heart would probably shatter into a million pieces.

“Go ahead.” He said, still wearing a gigantic smile. “I'm all ears.”

“Okay, but I want you to answer as honestly as possible.” Connie requested. “No looking to the side or working your way around questions this time.”

“Umm...okay.” He said, mildly put off by her comment. “What is it?”

Connie took a deep breath and looked him in the eyes, the exact same way Bismuth had earlier. “I’m going to ask the same question I asked a while ago. What makes you think that Jasper will answer any of our questions?” She asked. “I mean, she tried to kill me once and you multiple times, so it’s not like we’re on anything that could be called “good terms.” And I know you said that she's not evil anymore, but I didn’t think she’s like the Diamonds or any of the uncorrupted Homeworld Gems. She’s not really...reformed.”

Steven made a low humming sound and thought about this. Connie definitely had a bit of a point. It was like Bismuth and Lapis had told him back at the mini-forge. Jasper was stubborn about changing. No matter how many times he tried to get her to live in Little Homeworld, or even on regular Homeworld, she ignored him and told him to, quote in quote “get out of here before I mess you up even worse than I did that worthless purple runt.” This led to Steven thanking god or White Diamond or whoever that Amethyst didn’t bother dealing with Jasper anymore. Any contempt that the Quartz had for the purple Gem hadn’t faded with time.

But…it was also like he had told them. She wasn’t immediately hostile towards him on sight anymore. At least, not since that fight they had where he literally beat her into the ground with his Pink state. What had that been in her eyes once she got back up? Respect? Enjoyment? Maybe even admiration?

Whatever it was, it had made her only slightly more fond of him. He was sure he could hold a stable conversation with her now, and maybe even convince her to let Connie come close as well. Hopefully she wasn’t too serious with her “no earthlings” rules nowadays as she was a few months ago.

And that wasn’t even getting into the “sessions” they had ever now and then. Which was a total mess on its own.

But still, like Connie said, the problem was getting her to open up in the first place…

“I’d say partially reformed.” Steven finally said. “She should be fine with us trying to talk to her, as long as we’re not too...upfront. I think we should try and strike a normal conversation first, and then get into the whole Traitor business. Like with Pearl.”

“What would we even talk to her about to start off?” Connie asked, sounding like she wasn’t very believing in his plan. “Teach her about botched surgery for beginners?”

“What? Botched surgery?” Steven said, looking at her in confusion. “Why is that-”

“It’s something my mom says.” Connie revealed. “In these kinds of situations, when she’s dealing with people like Jasper. The kind of people that don’t listen, don’t change, and want to keep to themselves Steven.” She sighed. “But the point is that Jasper doesn’t want to talk to us, much less tell us anything we want to know.”

“Okay, I’m going to be honest with you here.” Steven said. “Why are you so confident in all of that? You haven’t seen Jasper since we healed all the corrupted Gems. And you two didn’t even interact then. Why are you so sure of all of this stuff if you don’t even know what she's like now?”

“Because of how she looked at you back then.” Connie said. “Three years ago, after she was uncorrupted. During that “brief interaction” we had, as you put it. Yeah, I didn’t say anything to her, but I saw you talking to her. And even after everything, you made sure to personally tell her that Pink Diamond was Rose, and thus you. And you said it with no fear of how she would react to that.”

“I remember.” Steven said, the memory clear in his mind like it had happened yesterday. “But what do you mean by “how she looked at me?” All I saw was pure surprise. And maybeeee a bit of anger as well.”

“That’s probably because you were staring at her face.” Connie said. “Not her eyes. But I was. I looked straight into them for a split second and saw a lot of stuff that...I’d rather not have seen.” She slowed her pace and started listing things off. “Surprise, like you said. Contempt for you and maybe briefly for Pink. No doubt because of all the lies. And a little joy as well. I think that was for seeing all her fellow Homeworld Gems turned normal again.” Connie huffed. “But more than anything, particularly when you mentioned how she doesn’t have to fight anymore, I saw...I saw……” Connie looked like she was about to trail off.

“Saw…?” Steven asked, wondering why she paused.

“Unwillingness.” Connie blurted out. “An unwillingness to conform. I heard her that day on the beach. When she told Amethyst, “fighting is my life. It’s what I was made for.” When I looked into those deep, empty, rage-filled holes in her head, that phrase was all I heard and saw. One glare was enough to convince me that she’s not going to listen to you. She just wants to beat people up.”

Steven stayed silent for a few moments, Jasper’s words echoing in his head. But soon he inhaled sharply and spoke with a tone that said “you’re overthinking this.”

“That’s a lot to assume based on one quick glance.” He said. “I mean, I’m not saying that you saw anything different, but it feels like you’re riding everything on this.” He huffed the same way she did and then briefly changed the topic. “And by the way, when did you even learn to read somebody by their eyes that accurately?”

“A year or so ago. My dad taught it to me.” Connie explained. “Because he works as an investigator, he knows how to tell when someone’s lying by checking their eyes, among other things.” She shrugged. “He figured it would be a good skill for me to learn.”

‘Hm. No kidding. That would come in handy a lot more than I’d like to admit.’ Steven thought. ‘I could have used that against Bluebird, those two Lapis’s, the Diamonds...everyone really. I’ll have to ask Mr. Maheswaran if he can teach me that as well.’ He hummed in a low tone. ‘What were we talking about again? Oh right, that theory that Connie had…’

“Well, that’s definitely a useful skill.” Steven said. “But like I was saying, this is a bit much to ride on. And...okay, I’m going to be honest with you here Connie. You’re placing a lot on the table over what feels like a simple hunch.”

“You’re doubtful.” Connie sighed, stating the obvious.

“Not doubtful, just…” Steven tried to say, before realizing that that was exactly what he was. “Okay, yeah, I’m doubtful. But-”

“It’s more than a simple hunch.” Connie claimed. “I’m sure of this Steven.” She took a deep breath. “I know how much you want to figure out this whole Traitor thing. But I also know how much you wanted to spend time with me. I remember how ecstatic you were when you called me asking to hang out. But...I feel like this...all of this…” She held up Buddy’s journal and waved it around in her hand. “Is a waste of that time. It just feels like we could be having a lot more fun together, you know?”

Steven indeed knew. He knew what she was talking about down to the letter. He had had a nagging feeling for a while now, just like she evidently was. One that told him that this wasn’t how he planned to spend what precious little time he had with Connie and that he should go back to the original plan and forget any of this ever happened.

But he couldn’t. As tempting as that was, the secret of the Traitor’s mural was too compelling and had already sucked him in. He needed to know, like he had a duty too. Like he would never find peace if it forever remained a mystery.

Yes, this was a bit of an exaggeration, but still, he wanted to know. However, the problem was that he tried to make this experience as fun as possible, tried to keep a good and optimistic mood going, but clearly Connie wasn’t one for that. Or this. Or any of it.

But that just meant-

“Steven.” She said, snapping him out of the imaginary world he had been stuck in. Steven almost walked right into her back as he was thrown out of his thoughts a little too late. He carefully stepped around her and took a look around to see why she had stopped.

They had made it.

Well, almost. But they had reached the edge of what was no doubt Jasper’s territory. A dead and dry wasteland where she had cleared out all the trees, grass, shrubs, and basically every other living thing. Steven truthfully had no idea what she did with it all after yanking it out of the ground, and lived in fear for a while of sudden complaints coming from the town about random smashed trees and bushes being strewn about like trash.

But he had received no such complaints, so where she had put them was anyone’s guess. Hopefully someplace that wasn’t populated, although knowing Jasper, the odds were that she threw them into the middle of a highway for fun.

“Yeah.” He said. “This is it. Just a minute more of walking and we’ll make it to the cave where she lives now.”

“Okay, but what happened to all the plants?” Connie asked. “Did she really remove all of them?”

“Pretty much.” Steven replied, grimacing as he thought of all the lives she took, even if that life was hardly conscious enough to think in the first place. “She has a “no Earthlings” rule in place, so she’s been wiping all of it clean. And by the looks of it, she seems to have expanded her little circle of influence…”

Connie gave Steven a look, and he didn’t even need to ask what it was for.

“But it’s fine!” He reassured her. “If she tries to hurt you, I’ll make sure to stop her, no matter what. And if I can’t do that on my own, I’m sure we can do it together, like old times. You still have your sword after all. If it comes down to it, I know we can handle her as a team.” He turned away from her and started twiddling his thumbs. “Which...I honestly hope doesn’t happen. Getting into another fight with her might mean erasing the months of progress I’ve been making and then all she’ll want to do is brawl with me again.”

Connie ignored the last part and instead looked slightly over her shoulder, staring guiltily at her sword that was slung over it. She started silently chewing herself for bringing it along. How could she have been so stupid as to do something like that? To just take it like that. But it had already happened, and now she had to deal with whatever backlash she got from it. This was all for Steven after all. All because she wanted to hang out and get away from her studies. It had been kinda fun, but that was really only at the beginning and then when they ate cinnamon rolls together. And even that had been ruined by his chewing his lip apart.

So why was she doing this? What was stopping her from turning around and telling Steven that he could either follow her, or do by himself?

Why, Steven himself of course. Because there was something she hadn’t told him, and most certainly didn’t plan on telling him. Both for her sake and his. His because then he’d be worried about her and what it meant moving forward, and Connie because...well...she didn’t want to say it. Not even in her thoughts. It hurt too much to think about. 

But now she knew what she was going to do. Because...in the bottom of her heart...no matter how much a part of her doubted it...Connie was certain that this was what she wanted. What she needed after all those hours of being stuck in her room.

“Steven.” She said. “I’m going to stay with you, and we’re going to go get that information from Jasper. Okay?”

“Oh, um, okay.” He said, surprised by her sudden straightforwardness and determination. “Are-are you sure? Offers still up, and I’ll say it one last time. If you don’t want to be here, we can-”

“And I’ll say it for the last time.” Connie sighed, even if she hadn’t said what she was about to say that much. “I’m coming with you. I want to spend time with you, and even if it involves doing this and getting worried about stuff, I’m not going to let it stop me. Like your therapist told you and like you told me back in the warp stream. I shouldn’t let my problems take me over. I have to focus on something else, and so I’m choosing to focus on you.”

“...”

“Okay?”

“O-okay.” Steven said, blushing slightly. This...was certainly not what he was expecting. He did have a feeling that she would want to stay with him, but not like this. But was glad that she seemed to have shaped herself up, suspicious as it was. So despite the oddness of this whole sudden declaration, Steven certainly wasn’t complaining. It seemed that Connie had chosen to deal with whatever problems she was having after this whole mess was dealt with, something that he wasn’t protesting against. Which was also another piece of advice his therapist had given him, to only deal with his problems one at a time instead of trying to solve them all at once. Sure, it might take longer, but it would give him a better sense of accomplishment in the long run.

“Alright, then let’s...just keep moving.” He said. Connie nodded in response and the two moved forward, unnerved by the unfamiliar feeling of the lifeless ground beneath their feet. To Connie, it felt like that one time when she had explored an empty construction site, where all the plants had been torn out of the ground leaving only small piles of overturned dirt. For Steven, it reminded him of the Kindergarten, a place that he usually tried to avoid as much as possible these days. He had nothing against the place itself, it was just that he didn’t want to be reminded of any more terrible stuff that his mother was technically the cause for.

Which was ironic considering that because he was seeking out the answers of the Traitor, Steven was doing just that. Running towards another terrible truth.

But he didn’t realize this (or more likely, didn’t want to), so he and Connie walked on, trying to ignore the giant footprints in the ground that was nearly as big as a bowling ball.

And then after what seemed like hours more of plodding on, it was finally in their sights.

Jasper’s cave. 

Steven noted that it hadn’t changed in the slightest since the last time he saw it. Same disorganized pile of rocks. Same raggedy old cloth covering the entrance. Even Jasper herself was the same, scowling at them with pure…

pure…

Actually, scratch that. Jasper wasn’t scowling at them. In fact, she wasn’t anywhere in sight to begin with. The cave and the area surrounding it was completely vacant of life, Jasper included. 

This was odd, to say the least. After a few months of visits, Steven learned that Jasper was extremely territorial, and hated anyone but him being anywhere near her cave. But for some reason, now she had left her sanctuary undefended and alone, there for the taking.

“So...where is she?” Connie asked, equally perplexed. 

“I don’t know.” Steven said truthfully. “I’m just as confused as you are. It...isn’t really like her to leave this area. There’s nowhere else she wants to go…”

The two of them waited for a minute or so after this, as if expecting her to show up. Eventually, Connie got bored of repeatedly tapping her fingers against the journal and moved forward.

“Well, we’re not going to find her by standing around.” She said, turning and letting her back face the cave. “Come on. Let’s go look for her. We’ve come this far, and there’s no point in wasting time.”

Steven was about to say something in agreement, but before he could, he suddenly spotted a human-shaped shadow appear on the top of the cave. Even from this far away, the knee-length hair instantly informed him of their identity, and for a second he thought he felt a pair of eyes lock on to him like a wild animal spotting potential prey.

Only to realize that those eyes weren’t directed towards him.

“Oh no.” He breathed, his heartbeat rising as he got a horrifically realistic vision of Connie being crushed just like that beetle had. “CON-”

Too late. Before he had time to say anything else, the shadow leaped into the air at lightning speed, almost too fast to see with the naked eye. Steven briefly followed it with his gaze before being forced to turn away, as Jasper’s silhouette briefly sat directly in front of the sun, causing her shadow to fall over the two of them.

And now it was Connie’s turn to panic. A look of terror crossed her face as she saw Steven’s expression, one that now mirrored her own as they both realized what was about to happen. Her right hand shot up and reached for her sword, but she was a second too slow, and Jasper came crashing down behind her in a mini-explosion of dust, the sudden burst of wind causing her hair to flap in front of her face and momentarily obscure her vision.

Connie didn’t dare move a muscle, her training instincts coming to a halt as her human instincts froze her to the spot out of pure animalistic fear. She felt the ground vibrating as the footsteps behind her moved closer and closer before a gruff voice rang out, speaking with equal amounts of fury and annoyance.

“Earthling…” It growled, and then a hand the size of a watermelon reached for her head.

“DON’T!” Steven yelled at Jasper, knowing that the Quartz wouldn’t hesitate to kill Connie like all the other creatures and plants of the forest. “Don’t hurt her Jasper, or I’ll make sure that the Diamonds put you somewhere where you’ll never see the light of day ever again!”

Jasper’s hand froze in place, and the three of them stood there for a moment, unmoving like they were all encased in ice. Except for Steven. He was breathing heavily like he had just run a marathon, but it was more from the adrenaline he got from screaming at Jasper like that.

And as much as he hated talking like this to anyone, especially people that he once considered enemies, Steven threat (bluff) worked. Jasper glared at the boy before she let out a “pft” sound and backed off, pulling her arm back and letting it fall to her side, obviously disappointed with his intervention. She then spoke up, a blatant tone of disapproval staining her voice. “You. Human.” She said, speaking directly to Connie. “Turn around and face me.”

Connie gulped and then did as she was told, knowing that Jasper was in closer proximity to her then Steven, and was likely faster as well. Every part of her mind was saying that she should take out her sword and start swinging, but what good would they do? If Steven wasn’t quick enough, which he probably wouldn’t, then she’d be facing down Jasper alone, and without him backing her up with his shield, she’d be dead before she managed to land even a single hit. The Quartz already wanted to murder her simply for existing in the first place, so it was plain to see that she wouldn’t bother holding back in a fight.

This was one she couldn’t win. And all Connie could do now was do as she was told and hope for the best.

Now staring the girl up and down, Jasper huffed again and then turned around. “I remember you.” She said. “That day. Back on the beach when you and Steven stopped me from shattering that purple runt.”

‘Damn it.’ Connie thought, gritting her teeth as sweat rolled down the side of her head. ‘I was hoping that she wouldn’t remember that, me in particular, but I guess it was too much to ask for. Does she also remember the time when we saw each other during...during……’ She paused internally. ‘Wait, did she just call Steven…...Steven? She used his actual name? That’s...unheard of.’

As Connie thought about this surprising turn of events, Jasper continued strolling down memory lane, reminiscing as if this had all happened yesterday. 

“And then there was that other time.” She said. “When I beat one of those unclean monsters into the ground. You were there as well, with Steven again and that useless Pearl. I...think those were the only two times we saw each other human.”

“...”

“...”

“...”

“Um, Jasper.” Steven started. “What was the point of-”

“Oh, I was going through my memories, seeing I could find any incentive to not crush your little pet. And…” She swiveled around and faced Connie again, who took a reflexive step towards Steven. “I’m having trouble finding any.”

“If you want to remember stuff so much, then you should try recalling what I said to you just a minute ago.” Steven pointed out, stepping in front of Connie in case Jasper decided to charge. “If you hurt Connie-”

“You’ll put me where the sun doesn’t shine, yeah, I get it.” Jasper scoffed. “Don’t worry. I won’t hurt your little “Connie”. Not unless it gives me a reason too.”

“She.” Steven corrected, feeling that now-familiar pent-up rage building inside him. “Connie’s a she, not an it, and if you want me to keep coming here later on for our...sessions, then you'll refer to her as a person, not some object.”

“Whatever you say, my Diamond.” Jasper mocked, giving him a sarcastic salute. “But fine.” She shrugged and gave Connie her best smile, something Steven had told her would ease the tension between her and other people in situations like this. Unfortunately, the smile was more akin to one a serial killer might have upon spotting their next victim than one meant to express friendliness. “You can come out now Connie. I’m not going to hurt you. I promise.”

Connie didn’t move and stayed where she was, silently noting that this didn’t sound like Jasper at all. Whether she was trying her best to be nice or if it was just an attempt to lure her in, it wouldn’t work. Her heart was still pounding from that near-death experience she had only a minute ago. Something told her that if Steven hadn’t been there to stop Jasper like that, she’d be dead.

Seeing no response from the girl, Jasper chuckled and crossed her arms. “So what are you doing here Steven?” She asked. “You know our next appointment isn’t until next week.”

‘Appointment?’ Connie thought, her mind also going back to that “session” Steven had mentioned earlier. Before she could contemplate it any further however, Steven started speaking and her train of thought came to a grinding halt.

“I know.” He said quickly. “But I-” He caught himself. “But we’re here for something else, if it’s not too much trouble.”

“Depends on what it is.” Jasper said. “Tell me what it is, and I’ll decide that for myself.”

Steven nodded slightly and was about to take the journal away from Connie to show it to the Quartz, getting the feeling that it’d be best if he did it, but before he had the chance to act Steven was practically pushed aside by Connie as she stepped forward, held the book other in front of her, and offered it to the same person who probably had no qualms with killing just for the heck of it.

Jasper raised an eyebrow at the girl's sudden bravery against her, as did Steven. But neither of them could help it. She had literally been shaking in her boots only a few seconds ago, and now here she was, facing down the same person who could snap in her half like a toothpick. But despite how terrified she was, Connie knew that she couldn’t let herself be intimidated by the Gem. It was one of the lessons that Pearl taught her. To always stand up to an opponent even if said opponent had the ability to kill you with a literal flick of their fingers. 

The Quartz’s surprise then faded and she smiled, seemingly amused by the display. She snatched the journal away and gave it a quick look-over before glaring at the two of them. “So what?” She said. “You got some dusty old Earth book? What am I supposed to do with this?”

“Open it to the bookmark.” Connie told her. “I’ll think you’ll understand why we’re showing it to you.”

Jasper tilted her head as a low rumbling noise grew in her throat, apparently now growing annoyed by the organic’s audacity against her. She took the bookmark out and threw it to the ground. Then, just like everyone else they had shown that one page too, she inspected it briefly like an art critic examining a classical painting. After a few seconds, she let out a small gasp, her hands trembling with rage or nervousness as she saw an image of herself staring back from the centuries-old paper.

A few silent moments passed before Jasper scoffed yet again and threw the journal over Connie’s head to Steven, who caught it clumsily.

“Get out of here.” She ordered.

“Bu-” Steven started.

“GET OUT!” Jasper roared, almost making the ground beneath them shake. “I won’t repeat myself again Steven. Take your human. Take that worthless book. Get out of here, and don’t come back until our next session or I will go down to Little Homeworld and tear it apart brick by brick.

Steven gulped and winced. This was not how he wanted things to go. He didn’t expect Jasper to have a very positive reaction to the journal, but he also didn’t expect it to be as bad as this. A voice in the back of his head whispered that it’d be better for everyone if he just let this go and left. And while he certainly had the power to just beat the information out of her with his pink state, he was trying to avoid doing that kind of thing. Plus, there was no way in a million days he would want Connie to see him do something like that.

“Okay.” He said nervously. “No problem. We’ll leave. We’re just going to go now, and everything’s going to be perfectly-”

“NO.” Connie said, making Steven stop mid-syllable. 

“...What was that?” Jasper growled, looming over the girl and pushing their faces so close together their noses were only an inch apart. “Repeat what you said human. I don’t think I heard you correctly.”

“I-I said no.” Connie mumbled. “We’re not leaving. Not like that. Do you know how much we’ve been through to get this far? Dozens of questions. Tons of explanations. And now after all that, we came here to you of all people. So I’m not going to leave just because you told us too. And I don’t care if you can kill me with basically zero effort. We came here for information, so I’m either going home in a body bag or you’re going to tell us everything you know!”

Silence. An absolute dead silence. It became so quiet that Connie and Steven could almost hear their heartbeats. Even Connie was shocked by what she had done, as if she hadn’t really expected herself to do it but it had happened anyway.

And then Jasper snickered before bursting out in laughter, clutching her non-existent stomach and doubling over like she had heard the world's best joke. Tears streamed down her face and she had to lean on a nearby tree trunk for support, lest she fall over and make a bigger fool out of herself. 

After a minute or so of this, she wiped her eyes and chuckled a bit before once again getting in Connie's face, only this time with an impossible wide and toothy grin adorning her face.

“I’ve changed my mind.” She said, making Steven and Connie tilt their heads at her like confused puppies. “You know, every word you said made me want to tear your head off, put it on a stake, and use it to deter intruders, but after that, seeing you all angry and yelling, I just remembered something that I had forgotten. Where I had seen a face like that before.”

“Where?” Connie asked.

“Back on the beach. Now, I do recall that you were there, but I had forgotten that you two had fused to stop me.”

“What’s your point?”

Jasper’s smile tightened and she leaned back. “I have a proposition for you.” She said.

“I’ll tell you everything I know about that drawing...if you and Steven fuse together and fight me, right here, right now.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So Jasper has offered up an interesting proposition, which should go just as horrible as one would expect. But that doesn't mean it won't work out somewhat in her favor...but thanks to everyone who still reads this story and please leave any reviews if you have any questions or comments about it.


	7. Assault

"You want us to what?!" A shrill and shocked voice rang out across the forest, speaking with a tone that nobody had heard from said voice in years. It was equal parts indignation and surprise, and anyone who heard it would immediately assume that the person who let out such a shriek was nothing short of furious.

"Fuse, and fight me." Jasper repeated, glaring at the girl who dared to have the audacity to yell at her. "Do that, and win against me, and I'll tell you everything you want to know. At least, everything that I can tell you. But still, I guarantee that I know a lot more about the Traitor than that little Pearl. That's what you're here for, right?"

"..."

"Thought so." The Quartz said. "So what's it going to be? I'd say that's a pretty good deal." She pounded her fists together. "I get what I want, you get what you want. Everybody wins. That is, if you win at all." She chortled.

"Hardly." Connie said. "If you think-"

"Wait!" Steven said, stepping in between them before things could escalate further, as they likely would. He knew he had to take control of the situation before it turned sour. Although he was rather confused (and a little hurt) that Connie was so offended by the idea of them fusing. Almost like she was repulsed by the mere thought of it. But that was something he could figure out later. As for right now, making sure that this little screaming match was stopped so Jasper wouldn't kick his girlfriend halfway across town took precedence.

"Everybody calm down…" He said. "There's no need to-"

"I am calm." Jasper countered. "I'm just offering you a deal, and she's the one going all nuts." The Quartz then grinned maliciously/mischievously, and Steven knew that whatever she was about to say next would only worsen then tension between the three of them. "You should try and take better control of your pets Steven."

'Ouch.' Steven thought, trying not to react to this. He couldn't see Connie's expression after Jasper said this, but he was sure that it was one she had never given another living person in her entire life. But he still tried to keep a straight face and ignore the anger building up inside him. After all, that was exactly what Jasper wanted. For him and Connie to get mad and start blindly attacking her. But Steven took a few deep breaths and somehow managed to hold it in. If they really were going to fight in exchange for information, it wouldn't be out of anger. It would be out of necessity.

"Jasper." He said calmly. "Can you give us a moment?"

"Heh. Sure thing." She said. "But that's the only deal you're going to get. If you don't accept it, then you and your pet can leave and stop wasting my time."

Before Steven could (quietly) remind her once again that Connie was not his or anyone's pet, something he was growing increasingly tired of, Jasper turned around and headed back over to her cave, where she leaned against one of its walls while staring at them with amusement. Steven could see what she was waiting for. For him and Connie to start fighting over this. The expression on her face shouted to the world that she would enjoy watching as their precious friendship was torn apart, all because of her.

And Steven wasn't going to let that happen. Not over this. He turned towards Connie, their expressions saying two very different things, which each of them noticed immediately. She was making one that Steven hadn't seen in years and one he hoped he'd never see again. But that didn't deter him. They were going to talk this whole thing out without any sort of fight. But first he had to calm her down before she did anything rash.

"Connie." He said, taking one of her hands into his like he was going to ask her to marry him. "Look at me for a second and try to calm down. I can see how angry you are, even I don't completely know why, but I need you to-"

"I'm not...angry." Connie pouted, although her tone clearly spoke otherwise. "Just annoyed. I can't believe Jasper would ask us to do all that so she can tell us her secrets. It leaves a bad taste in my mouth."

"But why?" Steven asked desperately, his earlier promise to take Connie home if anything went wrong long gone from his mind. "Why are you so adamant about fusing with me? Is-is there some kind of problem you're having or-"

"No, it's not the fusion part I'm irritated about." Connie said. "Trust me, I'm fine with that. I have nothing against becoming Stevonnie with you. The part I don't like is that she wants us to fight her for this."

"Wait, really?" Steven said, surprised/relieved at this revelation. "You don't like this because she wants us to fight? I mean, you brought your sword. You knew it might come to this, and I even told you so earlier. You were fine with it back then, so what's the problem now?"

"I-" Connie started, before exhaling as her voice fell away. She sighed quietly, because she did have a reason. She had a very good reason for not wanting to do this. But telling Steven the truth would require her to admit that she lied to him, and then the day would really be ruined. Connie cursed her luck that things had played out this, something that she had been lacking lately. The muscles in her sword hand tightened up as she thought about what brought them to this point. They should have just stayed back at Little Homeworld and she should have convinced him to stay harder. Then there wouldn't be any reason for her to use her sword, and nothing bad would be waiting for her at home.

But despite her hopes, low as they already were, it seemed fate had decided that today was going to go a little differently. She once again glanced at her weapon, clean and unused. Maybe she could still pull this off? Get Steven to do something with his healing powers maybe. Perhaps her mother might not-

No. She'd notice. She always noticed. Somehow, someway, she knew. If this happened, if Connie fused with Steven and fought Jasper, there was no way to play it off. At least not any way she could think of.

'Is it really worth the risk?' The girl thought. 'All of it...just to get away from those books?'

'...'

'...Yeah, it is.' She thought. 'Okay. Okay okay okay. I'll do it, even if I'm not looking forward to it. Like Steven said, we'll play by her rules. I know I can figure out a way to hide this from my parents before we get home. Steven said his spit can heal inanimate objects. This is no different. It...it'll work out. I'm sure of it.'

Connie was definitely not "sure of it", but she had already wasted enough time thinking about her hastily assembled plan, and if she remained silent for any longer it might make her more suspicious. She turned back to Steven, who had been waiting patiently while she worked it all out.

"Okay." She told him.

"Okay...to what?" He asked, having been oblivious of the last four and a half paragraphs that took place solely in her head.

"Okay as in yes." She explained. "I'll fuse with you to fight Jasper. Let's do it, get the information, and leave. I don't want to be near her any longer than I have to be, so let's get it over with and end this."

"...Really?" Steven asked incredulously, unsure of what else to say in response to her sudden change of heart.

"Yes." Connie repeated. "Really. Trust me, it's fine."

Steven looked like he was choking on something for a brief second before he inhaled deeply and put his hands together. "Okay, now I'm even more confused!" He said. "Just a second ago you were complaining about how you don't want to fuse because you don't want to fight, and now you're practically asking me to do it so we can get it over with? That kind of turn around is way too fast for my liking Connie. What the heck happened?"

"Just a little self-reflection." Connie said sheepishly. "I know you're confused-"

"That's an understatement."

"...But if this is the only way to get that information out of Jasper, then, I mean, we really don't have a choice."

"..."

"...What?"

"This isn't like you, that's what." Steven said. "I-I'm worried about you Connie. I've been worried ever since that talk we had while we were warping here, which we still have to finish, and now you're not even acting like yourself. What's going on?"

"Something private." She said, which may or may not have been a lie depending on how one looked at it. "I can't tell you because I feel like you'll want me to go home if I do."

"If that's the case, then why didn't we just leave now?" Steven asked. "If there's something out there that will make me want to do that, then why shouldn't I?"

"..."

"..."

"ARE YOU FINISHED YET?" Jasper yelled out from behind them, growing bored as neither of the two had started yelling at each other, something that she had expected to happen and was eagerly awaiting.

"Not yet!" Steven yelled back, before turning back to Connie. "Okay." He said. "I can tell by the look on your face that you're not going to give me an answer. And that's fine. But if we're doing this, then I want to know why you're so against the whole fighting thing, otherwise, we're leaving and that'll be the end of our jam-bud hangout session."

Connie winced. Saying that kind of thing was actually pretty harsh of him, all things considered, but also extremely smart. That was the exact opposite of what she wanted after all. She had literally told him so earlier, and now he was using it against her. But could she tell him the truth? No, of course not. At least, not fully. However, if she only told him part of it, a little snippet of that truth, it might be enough to convince him…

"It's...because of my parents." She said, shifting her gaze to the ground.

"Your parents?" Steven queried.

"Yeah. I've been worried because they have a curfew in place." Connie said. "If I don't get back by five o'clock then I'll be in trouble. That was my mom's condition when she let me take my sword."

"Seriously? A curfew?" Steven asked, dumbfounded that all the questions and sorta-arguing led to something as underwhelming as this. "That's the big secret?"

"Call it what you like, but yeah. I didn't tell you because I was afraid you'd be worried that I wouldn't be able to make it back in time."

Steven fought to restrain his laughter. "Connie, when we were at the house talking with Pearl, it wasn't even 3:00. And I think it's only been...what? A half-hour since then? Give or take a few minutes?"

"Well...I thought it had been longer." Connie admitted. "I-I'm sorry. I feel like I ruined the trip with this. I was just so scared internally that I wouldn't make it back in time, and then I wouldn't be able to hang out with you, and-"

"Hey! Hey! It's okay." Steven said, taking both of her hands again. "I'm here. And I promise that you don't have to worry about any of that stuff. We still have hours to spend time with each other Connie. And even if for some reason, we don't make it back in time, I'll take all the blame, but I also promise I'll convince your parents to let us continue hanging out." He gave her his best smile. "Okay?"

"O-okay." Connie stuttered. "Thank you. But...are we still going to do this now?"

"We won't if you don't want to." Steven said. "I'm positive that Stevonnie can take Jasper, but I want your okay first as well."

Connie took another deep breath. There was no turning back now. "Yes." She said. "Let's do it, and get that information we need." She then shifted in place. "But I think there's one thing we should do."

"What is it?" Steven asked.

"She made a list of rules." Connie stated. "If we win, then we get what we need. I think we should tell her that we won't fight unless she makes a change to that rule."

"Then what's the change?"

"Simply put, she tells us what we want to know regardless of whether we win or not." Connie explained. "I know you said that Stevonnie can probably beat her, but I still think we shouldn't take any chances. We came all this way, had all those discussions, and I don't want it to be for nothing at the end of the day." She sighed. "Do you think that's a good idea?"

"Yeah actually..." Steven agreed, thinking it over for a second. "I think we could do that. It makes this all the more worthwhile. Of course, the hard part would be getting her to agree to it."

"I'm sure you can work some magic." Connie said, smirking at him. "You always have a way with words."

Steven chuckled. "Don't get your hopes up yet." He said. "But I'll try. And if she says no…?"

"Then we leave, and look for help elsewhere." Connie said.

Steven nodded and then turned around towards Jasper before shouting at her, knocking the Quartz out of a stupor.

"Jasper!" He yelled. "We...we've reached our decision!"

Even from so far away, Steven could see the smile on Jasper's face widen. The Quartz slapped herself awake and then leaped forward again just like she had done when she first appeared. She landed in front of them in another mini-cloud of dust, making Steven and Connie cough in response. Once the dust cleared, they saw that Jasper looked extremely pleased with herself for this, as if making them cough over some dust was equal to winning a major victory.

"Oh? Then what's it gonna be?" She asked. "Fight or flight? Because if your answer is no, then I'd start running…"

Steven gulped for perhaps the fiftieth time today and took one last glance over at Connie before speaking. "We've decided that we're going to fuse together and fight you in exchange for whatever you know." He said, before staring her in the eyes like Connie had. "But we also have one term of our own."

Whatever amusement Jasper had for the situation quickly dissipated after Steven said this, although her grin only slightly faltered. "Pft. This whole fight is for your benefit in the end, not mine." She pointed out. "You're not in any position to be making demands."

"Neither are you, if you want this to happen so bad." Connie blurted out. "This is definitely for your benefit. Anyone with half a brain could see just how much you're enjoying this. If you weren't getting anything out of us being here, you'd have chased us off a long time ago. Now are you going to hear Steven out or not?"

"I didn't give you permission to continue talking to me." Jasper scoffed at her. "But I suppose you have a bit of a point, minuscule as it may be." She turned towards her nemesis/fighting partner/only technical friend. "Fine. Go on then. Tell me what you want."

Steven shifted in place. "It's a change to an earlier rule you set in place. If we fight, you have to tell us about the mural no matter who wins. You spill the beans whether you beat us or not." He paused. "And...that's all. That's what me and Connie agreed to. If this is happening, then you have to agree to it as well."

Jasper rubbed her chin in a sarcastic way, pretending to be lost in thought. "That's a pretty steep term Universe." She said. "But you know, all the "excitement" I'm getting from this really isn't letting me say no." She cracked her knuckles. "Alright then. I agree with this. But you better be careful Steven, because I don't plan to hold back, especially now. If your little pet-" Steven glared at her. "Oh, right, sorry. I meant human. Can't care enough to remember it's name. But if your little human gets hurt while you're fused, you only have yourself to blame Steven."

"Fascinating." He said. "Now are we gonna get this over with or what?"

"Straight to the point huh?" Jasper half-asked. "Fair enough. Although I don't know why you're asking me that. Considering that I'm not the one fusing with anybody here." She stepped back a bit. "Now do a dance with your little human so we can start." Jasper pounded her fists together again as she fantasized of all the ways she could hurt them."I'm gonna enjoy this…"

Steven exhaled nervously and took a step closer to Connie, who did the same and started whispering in his ear with a hushed tone. "What should we…?"

"Let's just do that thing we did back at the car wash when we accidentally fused in front of my dad." Steven said. "Spinning around in a circle and stuff. It'll be quicker."

"Got it." Connie said, before interlocking her fingers with his. "But...just promise me that this will all turn out okay in the end."

"I promise." Steven said confidently. "I won't let anything bad happen." He then smiled at Connie, who gave him one back, and Jasper let out an "Ugh" upon witnessing the happiness between them. They ignored this and joined both their hands together, before starting to spin around in a circle. In no time at all, a bright light erupted from Steven's Gem and the two were engulfed inside of it as the entire area was illuminated. A moment later, it vanished, and Stevonnie stood in their place, holding Connie's sword in one hand and Steven's shield in the other, ready for the fight that they had been solely brought together for.

Jasper guffawed at them. "Finally." She said. "You. Fusion. War machine. Weapon. Tool. Thing. Abomination. Weakling. Garbag-"

"Okay, we get it." Stevonnie said, taking Connie's bag and placing it on the ground so it wouldn't get damaged. "You don't like fusions that aren't you and Lapis. Geez."

Jasper growled, her mood once again changing in an instant. "Don't mention that monster of a Gem. Not after you made her turn away from me." She demanded. "And sorry, not sorry. I just had to get it outta my system. It's been so long since I've seen any kind of fusion. And I bet a bunch of them are just walking around everywhere in Homeworld, now that Steven put that fusion law in place. It's revolting."

"Do you want me to unfuse and leave?" Stevonnie asked, rolling their eyes at Jasper's casual anti-fusion sentiment.

"You're not going to, even if I asked. Not after coming this far." Jasper pointed out. "I know that most fusions are usually considered to be one person, but I also know that Steven and his little human are separate entities in there." She waved at Stevonnie in a mocking manner. "Can you two see me? You can take control one at a time if you like."

"Separate entities?" Stevonnie repeated. "Pft. Wanna bet?"

'What are you doing?' Connie asked.

'Well, if we get her to think that it's only Stevonnie in here instead of all three of us, then we can get her to stop yapping about how terrible fusion is.' Steven said.

'Oh. Then...what are we gonna say next? Or should I take the lead?'

'No, you do that when the fight actually begins. I'll just try and start it off.'

'Okay.'

'Okay.'

After the brief conversation in Stevonnie's mind had ended, she came back to reality and discovered that five seconds had passed, during which Jasper had begun talking about how fusions only made weak Gems weaker by making them think they were stronger. The Steven part of Stevonnie wasn't having any of this, and they immediately stepped forward and got into position.

'You're up.' Steven said.

'On it.'

"Oh, just shut up and fight." Stevonnie said as their irises started to mirror Connie's brown ones. And without any other warning they charged forward, sword raised in the air and aiming for Jasper's head. The Quartz in turn summoned her helmet in a flash of light and the two weapons collided, making them both shoot backwards several feet. Stevonnie rightened themselves Jasper shook some dust off her face, before running at them again while laughing maniacally.

'Okay, pretty sure she's descending into insanity right now.'

'...If you need me too, I can take over-'

'No, it's fine. I can do this!' Connie reassured him.

Stevonnie got into another fighting pose, this time one that Garnet had taught them to use while dueling with opponents who were outright trying to kill them. One that ensured a quick victory as well as causing no harm to themselves. If they moved at the exact right time, then it might be possible for them to duck to the side and use Connie's sword to slice Jasper's form in half. Brutal by humans standards, but once Jasper reformed she would no doubt reveal everything about the Traitor to them. She had always been the type of person to respect someone with greater strength, as Steven had learned after their first fight together.

And all they had to do now was earn that respect.

However, this was easier said than done, as Jasper anticipated the attack. Stevonnie moved to the right to strike, but Jasper slid to the left like she was skidding in ice, causing Connie's sword to miss her torso by mere inches. Stevonnie gasped in surprise as their attack failed, while Jasper simply laughed, obviously amused at their pitiful attempt to poof her. The fusion landed in a heap but were on their feet a second later, determined to not let this little setback dissuade them.

"Is that all you two have?" Jasper asked, balling her fists up and getting ready to charge. "I saw that coming from a light-year away. I can tell you haven't done this in a while. Your attacks are sloppy. Uncoordinated. Even the way you're holding that sword is all wrong."

"It is?" Stevonnie questioned, being pretty sure that they weren't. They glanced down at their hand and saw that they were in fact gripping it the correct way, only to realize a second later that this had been a dupe. Jasper, taking advantage of their brief distraction, shot towards them with all the speed and strength of a bullet train and aimed her fist right at Stevonnie's head. They cringed and raised up Steven's shield just in time, although the impact still sent them flying backwards into a tree dozens of feet away, cracking its trunk and causing several branches to fall as they collapsed to their knees, groaning in immense pain.

"Hurts, doesn't it?" Jasper snorted. "I told you I wasn't going to hold back. Don't tell me you're already out of the fight. Because if so, I think I'm going to go back on that deal we made…"

Stevonnie didn't even hear Jasper's mocking and taunts, instead focusing on the conversation going on inside their own head.

'Urghhh…' The Connie part of Stevonnie moaned. 'Just one punch...that's all it took...and it already feels like our spine is split in two. And it didn't even hit us directly.'

'Don't give up just yet. We're fine." Steven said unconvincingly. 'And Jasper was lying anyways. She was holding back with that hit. She wants to make this as long and painful for us as possible.'

'How do you know?'

'I know.'

'...Okay, well, we better come up with something quick, because she's headed right for us.' Connie said nervously.

'I know. I have an idea.' Steven replied. 'But it's going to require us to pull it off perfectly, or it'll all fall apart.'

'Fine." Connie sighed internally, the only kind of sigh she could make at the moment. 'Let's do it. Nothing left to lose now. What's the plan?'

As Stevonnie weakly got off their feet and grabbed their sword off the ground (while Steven explained his "tit for tat" plan inside their head), Jasper picked up one of her boulders that had been placed nearby and held it over her head with one hand.

"Well, time to die." She said nonchalantly. "But you know, while I'm sure that a Diamond's Gemstone won't be fazed by something as soft as a rock, even one like this, I think it's safe to say that your little human is going to be a pile of mush when it's all over Steven. Unless, of course, the little monstrosity you stuck yourself into pulls itself together, stops wasting everyone's time, and actually takes a swing that connects!' She raised the boulder high and prepared to smash the fusion with, not caring about any later consequences in the heat of the moment.

However, Stevonnie simply smiled and their gaze switched to one of pure battle lust. "You're the boss!" They said, and before Jasper could react, Steven's shield was in their hand before it was sent rocketing towards the Quartz like an out of control frisbee. Jasper merely tilted their head and "dodged" the shield with almost zero effort.

"Very impressive." She said, momentarily dropping the boulder so she could slow clap at them. "Not sure what you were going for there. Even if that had hit me, my helmet would have deflected it. Out of ideas already, are we?"

"On the contrary." Stevonnie said. "We just had to come up with something that you wouldn't expect."

As they said this, the shield, still flying away, made contact with the top of Jasper's cave, ricocheted off it with a loud clang, hit a tree stump, ricocheted off that, and was now heading directly for the back of Jasper's head. The Quartz soldier didn't even notice until it was too late, and the shield hit its target fair and true. It smashed into the back of her head and knocked her crash helmet straight off, causing her anger switch to flip yet again.

But the shield had thrown off her balance for a single second, and Stevonnie didn't hesitate. The second the helmet fell to the ground, they shot at Jasper so fast that they practically left an afterimage, the tip of their sword aimed for where a human heart would be.

But it was never meant to connect. For Stevonnie realized their mistake after their first attempt at poofing Jasper failed. Mostly the fact that they couldn't just poof her and claim victor. If that happened, then it might take hours for her to reform, if not days. And yes, it might actually be no more than a few minutes, similar to how Amethyst usually did it, but they didn't want to take the risk and be forced to sit outside her cave for an ungodly amount of time, waiting for her Gem to start glowing and saving them from dying of boredom.

So this was the plan. Throw the shield and knock Jasper's helmet off. And Stevonnie was well aware that this really wouldn't do anything besides annoy her. In fact, she was already out of it, ready to block or dodge this attack to deal yet another punch. And this time, she might actually land a killing blow. So attempting to hit Jasper now was nothing short of suicide.

But as mentioned earlier, Stevonnie didn't plan to hit her like this. They knew Jasper's fighting style, courtesy of Steven's many "sessions" with her in the past few months. His memories became theirs (the one he wanted them to have anyways, as Connie could see these as well), and this, combined with Connie's sword-fighting skills, gave them the advantage. The first strike had failed because he had let Connie take over entirely. But now that they were working together, as a fusion should, besting the perfect Quartz should be a much easier task.

They had to wait for the exact right moment to dodge and move down, giving them an opening that would allow an opportunity for them to smash Jasper in the face with their shield, before leaping away out of the danger zone. Risky, and not very damaging in the long run, but doable.

The Quartz sighed as she saw her enemy flying at them and reared her leg back to kick them in the face, planning to smack their disgusting fusion head right off their shoulders. But just as Stevonnie planned, they ducked at the last second and felt Jasper's foot whiz by their hair, so close that it literally took a few beads of sweat along with it. Stevonnie winced as it flew by but didn't lose concentration. They jumped, quickly summoned another shield, and thrust it at Jasper's head, scoring a direct hit on her cranium and causing the Quartz to cry out and stumble backwards, acting like she was in the middle of a devastating brain freeze.

"Yessssss…..." The fusion whispered, now knowing that they could beat her as long as they kept this up. Because they had to win. Jasper was not the type of person to be satisfied with beating them and calling it a day, despite what she agreed to earlier, oh no. She deliberately wanted to kill them. She had literally said "Time to die" earlier, and described how Connie was going to be turned into a pile of mush. An imbecile could see that murder was on her mind, especially now.

"Ugh!" She cried out, holding her head. She briefly looked enraged, before pausing and glaring at them with a toothy grin. "That...heh...heheh…...that actually hurt. I'm impressed."

'Huh?'

'Oh yeah, I should have mentioned that Jasper enjoys every part of a fight, even if she gets hurt. In fact, I think that's her favorite part of it.' Steven explained.

'So you're saying she's a sub?'

'...A what?'

'...Nevermind.'

"What's your point?" Stevonnie asked, pointing the tip of their sword at Jasper's head. "Do you want me to do it again? You can stand still if you want."

"Not really…" Jasper laughed. "Although I will admit, it's nice to see that you're more capable than I thought. Back during that fight on the beach, I wasn't impressed because you were fighting for one of your friends. And that always seems to give you Crystal fusions some type of advantage. But here...you're fighting for yourself, and I expected you to be weaker."

"Don't "expect" anything." Stevonnie growled. "You said I was sloppy. Well look at you! You're the sloppy one. You have the same fight pattern as any other Quartz. If punching doesn't work, I'll throw something heavy at it and then punch it!" They mocked. "That's what you were thinking when you grabbed that boulder, right?"

"Hm. You got me." Jasper admitted, spreading her arms. "But to be fair, it always seemed to work. Like on that purple runt. She could have never beaten me on her own."

"Maybe so, but stuff like that will only work on other Gem's like you, and not on me." Stevonnie claimed. "It's going to take a bit more than a single punch to put me down."

"I agree." Jasper concurred. "So I think I'm done with trying to punch you like this. For now, let's speed things up a little…"

Stevonnie tilted their head at this. "What are you-"

Before they could finish their sentence, Jasper leapt straight up in the air again and began spinning around at an insane rate, eventually becoming a glowing ball of fire akin to a miniature meteor coming down to Earth. Which is exactly what she did next, as Jasper came falling back down in another explosion of dust, and the second the Quartz made contact with the ground, they raced towards Stevonnie like an out of control tire, ready to bowl over anything in her path.

"Ohcrapohcrapohcrapohcrapohcrap-" Stevonnie swore, panicking internally at this unexpected move. Steven forced the fusion to move to the side right before the mini meteor hit them, and Jasper turned around in response to try again. Over the sound of her literally scorching the ground into ash, Steven thought he could hear her laughing sadistically.

'Time to fly!' He thought, and taking control of Stevonnie, he leaped in the air and hovered there for a few seconds, using their flutter kick to stay in place and off the ground, far away from Jasper.

'Steven, what do we do?!" Connie asked frantically, who had frozen up the second Jasper turned into a fireball.

'I have another idea, but we have to get over to the cave without her hitting us.' He said. 'I'm going to need your help, so try not to freeze up on me again, okay?'

'G-got it. I'll try. I...just wasn't expecting that.'

Steven personally suspected that there was more to Connie's anxiety suddenly kicking into overdrive like that, but he shrugged it off. He had no time to dwell over that. They were literally fighting for their life after all. If Jasper caught them, then her spin dash move would tear them in half. And while he wasn't sure if this damage would extend to both parts of the fusion, he didn't want to find out, because someone died either way. And to make things worse, if he was the one who died, then Jasper would just kill Connie for fun afterward. No one left threatening her to "put her where the sun doesn't shine", so why not?

After a few more seconds of hovering, Steven felt that he wouldn't be able to last much longer. He slowly floated Stevonnie down to Earth and angled them so that they landed in a nearby tree, placing their feet on one of the highest branches and waiting for Jasper to approach.

They didn't have to wait long. Once she realized where they were, Jasper was back in the warpath, somehow moving even faster. In the brief few seconds he had before she arrived, Steven began to wonder what Jasper hoped to gain by murdering them like this. If she killed him and/or Connie, then the Gems (or more likely, the Diamonds) would swoop down and shatter in a thousand little shards. Only to then piece her back together with the backup tub of his healing spit Peridot had, let her reform, and do it over and over and over and over and over again until the end of time.

Assuming, at least, that bringing a shattered Gem back to life was possible, but Steven was sure that the Diamonds would devise some way to make sure Jasper suffered for all eternity.

So what was her game then? She had to know what her ultimate fate was if they died. Jasper might be a brute, a bully, and so many other words that began with "b", but she wasn't a fool. She knew how to think things through and plan it all out, even if all of her plans had failed in the past. She had to be cooking something up in that thick head of hers.

'What are you up too…' He thought.

'Wait, what am I up to-'

'No, sorry, wasn't talking...uh, thinking to you. Thinking to myself.'

'...Okay, well, do you have a new plan yet? Because she's almost on top of us. How do we get her to the cave?'

Stevonnie's eyes darted down to the boulder that Jasper had dropped, sitting alone on the ground and ready for use.

'...We throw something heavy at her.'

'So I guess you're a Quartz Gem again now?' Connie teased nervously.

'Very funny.'

Just after this brief exchange ended, Jasper used every last bit of momentum she had to shoot into the air and barrel towards them. Stevonnie jumped

off the tree and made a beeline for the large boulder, reaching it after a few seconds while Jasper landed somewhere in the forest behind them, carving out a brand new path in the process. A loud growl was heard from the living meteor as she realized that she had missed her target, and Jasper came spiraling around to try again.

While all this was taking place, Stevonnie was struggling to lift the stone over their head, as the thing was easily three times their size and ten times their body weight. Steven's Gem strength did most of the work, but their muscles began to tear and rip as they pushed themselves to the limit, inflicting an intense, stinging pain on both Steven and Connie.

'I regret this. I regret this plan!' Steven exclaimed, sounding like he had been lit on fire as Stevonnie's mindscape began to crumble and fall apart under stress. 'We have to drop it and find another way!'

'Forget that!' Connie protested. 'There's no other way. She'll be on us before we even get halfway to the cave if we run, and fighting her head on like this is too dangerous. We have to do this now.'

'But there's no way we can lift it entirely!'

'Maybe we don't have too…'

'What-'

'Let's just kick it right at her. We don't need to throw it. We just need to wait until Jasper's close enough and slam the whole thing right into her face.' Connie said. 'Hopefully it'll faze her long enough that we can make it to the cave and carry out the rest of your plan.'

'...'

'Sound good?'

'I don't have any other ideas, so yeah, let's do it…'

'Great. Get ready.'

Stevonnie once again snapped into the real world, starting to regret taking so much time to let the two people that made them up talk in the middle of a death match. But it was absolutely necessary of course. Without that, they'd split apart, and then their components would perish. Something that they promised wouldn't happen here.

They placed their foot on the boulder and got ready to shove it forward at the advancing enemy, who was now moving so fast that some of the sand beneath her was literally turned into shards of glass by the friction. Stevonnie winced at this display of power and Steven suddenly got flashbacks of an earlier event similar to that, something that also involved the same superheated glass effect.

'Huh... He said, momentarily distracted. 'What was that from? Wasn't mayor Nanafua there? No, she wasn't mayor yet. And...wait. Why I am thinking of this at a time like-'

'Steven! Work with me! We're doing it now!'

'What? Oh right!'

Steven's vision came back into focus at Connie's insistent warning, and in unison, Stevonnie reared their foot back slightly and slammed it forward, resulting in the boulder hurtling towards Jasper and upturning entire layers of dirt along the way. The Quartz didn't even try to move out of the way as she and the stone collided, creating a miniature shockwave that nearly shoved Stevonnie off their feet. Before it had subsided however, they booked it for the cave, fully aware that such an attack wouldn't have any effect on the Gem besides distracting her, along with buying the fusion some much needed time.

And that's all it was. A distraction. The boulder basically exploded upon contact with the living meteor, showering the area with bits of jagged rock, one of which almost hit Stevonnie in the head, and they yelped in surprise, but didn't stop for a second. But the rock had served its purpose. Jasper was stopped in her tracks on impact, dazed and confused as to what hit her, as she had been moving so fast that she hadn't even seen the boulder heading her way. But once she realized what had happened and spotted her hated enemy fleeing from her, the anger returned and she went back into meteor mode, this time making sure to keep a closer eye out.

'She already recovered from the attack!' Connie warned.

'I know. But it doesn't matter. We'll make it in time now. All we have to do after that...is stand still.'

'Wait, what? Stand still? But won't that make us a perfect target?' Connie asked.

'Yup. And that's exactly what I'm counting on.'

'...I hope you're right about this Steven…' Connie said, sounding like she was getting more and more anxious.

'Connie, have I ever been wrong about anything?'

'Well…'

'Okay, don't answer that.'

'Can I get in on this?' Stevonnie asked, tired of the constant squabbling between their two components. 'You two are wasting too much time by talking. If this keeps up, you'll start to really argue and then I won't exist and both of you, and therefore me, will DIE.'

'...'

'...'

'Now do you think you can handle it, or are we going to fall apart?'

'...We can handle it.' Connie said.

'This is so weird.' Steven thought. 'I swear, one day we need a full-length guidebook on how every part of fusion works and all the rules that come with it. Even now a bunch of stuff is still so confusing to me.'

'I think we're breaking a few of those rules right now by talking like this…'

'Eyes front and center!' Stevonnie reminded them, and the three once again came together as one. Connie was now instantly aware of every part of Steven's plan and saw it as doable, albeit a stretch to pull off. She didn't really see why it would help, considering that the damage Jasper might receive from it wouldn't do any more harm than the boulder they kicked at her, but if Steven thought it'd help them, then they were going to do it. Besides, it's not like she had any ideas of what to do.

Once they reached the entrance of the cave, they swiveled around and started banging their sword against the side of it. "Come on!" Stevonnie yelled, taunting the living meteor. "Come and get me you coward!"

If anything was going to rile Jasper up, it was this, and a faint screech of anger was heard from fireball after this insult. She sped up, nearly breaking the sound barrier as dust was kicked up in a massive cloud behind her, looking like something out of a nightmare.

"Not yet…" Stevonnie mumbled.

Jasper started ripping stumps out of the ground as she tore through everything in her path.

"Almost there…"

She reached the start of her true territory, where the ground turned into stone just before the cave entrance.

"NOW!" Stevonnie yelled, and as before, they performed a perfect stepside at the exact right moment. Jasper raced past them and they felt their skin sizzle at the heat, like a vat of boiling water had been poured over them. The Quartz didn't have time to slow down or change direction as she entered the cave and slammed into the back of it, causing gigantic cracks to appear both internally and externally on its wall, a terrifying display of raw power.

As for Stevonnie, they hadn't stopped moving after their stepside. Rather, they dashed over to Jasper's rock pile and kicked the load-bearing stone out from under it before vaulting away, making the entire pile tremble before it collapsed entirely and began to roll towards the cave as one collected mass. In no time at all the entire thing was sealed up as the rocks flowed into the entrance and effectively trapped Jasper inside, who was still busy collecting her bearings after the collision. More dust was thrown into the air and Stevonnie quickly backed away from the scene, coughing and feeling like they had inhaled a pile of powdered glass.

Once the last piece of rock had settled however, they approached the now sealed cave again, which was masked with a deathly silence.

"No way…" They said to themselves. "No way did we take her out like tha-"

"I'M GOING TO RIP YOU TO SHREDS YOU ABOMINATION!" Jasper's voice rang out abruptly, muffled but still completely audible from underneath the rubble. The tone of voice alone told Stevonnie that she was pissed. More so than either Steven or Connie had ever seen before. Obviously they should have seen this coming. Jasper hated being made a fool of, especially by fusions. And now? Being bested by a fusion of her sparring partner and a filthy organic? Well, that was just asking for a death sentence, and Stevonnie knew it the second she heard that shriek.

"UNIVERSE!" She screeched. "WHEN I GET MY HANDS ON YOU, I'M GOING TO MAKE YOU WATCH ME TEAR THAT HUMAN INTO A THOUSAND PIECES!"

The cave suddenly shook violently, indicating that Jasper was trying to force her way out. More cracks appeared and grew bigger with each hit, and it didn't take a genius to figure out that Jasper would be free soon. The raw animal fear that Connie had experienced earlier kicked in at the Quartz's promise of her demise, and the fusion turned tail and sprinted away from the cave, knowing that they'd have a better chance in the forest than out in the open like this.

'Steven!' Connie thought frantically. 'I probably should have asked this earlier, but what exactly did you expect that to do?!'

'I thought it would trap her for a while! Give us some time to think up a new plan! I didn't know she'd break out this quickly!'

'Steven, we have the same thoughts now, and one just went through my brain describing her as your "sparring partner." We'll talk about that later, but if it's true, I think that means you should know exactly how hard she can hit!'

'Then she must have been holding back on me.' He sighed. 'I'm sorry, okay? I thought the cave would hold her a little longer.'

'It's...it's okay.' Connie reassured him. 'Wait, no it's not! She wants to kill me! Does she really mean that? Will she actually…?'

'I…' Steven didn't want to answer, but he knew he had to. 'Yeah. She's serious. She won't hesitate to take your life if she manages to catch us.'

'Crap.' Connie swore. 'Okay. Okay okay okay. For now, let's get to the forest and find someplace to hide so we can think of another way to beat her. This doesn't mean we're giving up. Think of it as a strategic retreat.'

'Okay...okay.'

And with that, they made it to the treeline and disappeared, just as Jasper smashed clear through the top of the cave and ran after them, determined to make Stevonnie pay for what they did, even if she had to tear apart every single part of the entire forest in order to do it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And the chase begins. This will certainly not work out well in Stevonnie's favor, at least at first, and I don't think the forest is going to be happy about it either. But next up is some mre running, fighting, and maybe some self-reflection. Something both of them coulld use right about now...


	8. Individuality

There’s a certain feeling people can get.

It’s one that only comes around at a very specific time, for a very specific reason. As such, it is rather rare, and even those who do experience it usually only do so for a moment.

It is the feeling when the mind takes over the body. When the brain forces a person to push themselves to the absolute limit in an attempt to accomplish a goal. Now, this could mean any number of things. Putting on one last burst of speed right before the finish line of a giant race, throwing one last punch in a boxing match that will win them the whole thing, or maybe even lifting a great weight to save another person, like in all those stories on the news, where ordinary and everyday people lift cars and trucks in accidents by use of pure adrenaline.

That is the power of the mind over the body. And that is what Stevonnie was using right now. 

As they sprinted through the thick foliage of the forest, having abandoned the path that led back to Little Homeworld long ago, the amount of sheer aching pain from their legs and arms was practically begging them to come to a halt and to cease their gaunt. But they couldn’t. Jasper was quicker than them, catching up fast, and until they found a satisfactory hiding spot, stopping was simply not an option. So they ignored these silent cries for mercy and kept running, and even when they got to a nest of brambles and received dozens of cuts and pricks as they literally lowered their head and shoved their way through (as they wanted to hide their tracks as effectively as possible, and making a bubble would only create an easier trail to follow, while jumping over it might expose their position, and therefore that wasn’t an option either), not once did they halt.

And the noises they heard from behind them only convinced Stevonnie to move ever faster. Because Jasper certainly wasn’t playing around. Her footsteps sounded like thunder as she chased them, the Quartz seeming to know exactly where they were despite their best attempts to hide their location. It was like Jasper had a GPS tracker on them, and had it built directly into her Gem.

“Don't stop, just run...” They whimpered, not sure if that had come from the Steven side, the Connie side, or from both sides. Although it was definitely leaning more towards the Connie side. But even if it was, both of them were equally terrified. Because Steven knew that Jasper wouldn’t kill him. There was no way she didn’t understand the consequences, and both Lapis and Bismuth were aware of where they had gone, so if Steven died or disappeared and never came back, then the two of them would know exactly who was to blame. And then the Diamonds would come raising hell at the second death of their beloved Pink.

But that was not the case with Connie. The Diamond’s likely didn’t care that much about Connie, even if organics were now considered “equal life forms”. (A hard bargained privilege, thanks to Steven.) They only cared about him, and frankly, Steven’s relationship with them was the only good one between any of the other Crystal Gems. None of them still particularly trusted the Diamonds, especially White, so Pearl, Garnet, Amethyst, and all the others saw this truce with the Authority as dubious at best. Steven felt like they’d warm up to each other eventually, but for now, they were not what one might consider “friends”.

But all this was slightly beside the point. They were scared because Jasper and the Diamonds did not have the same mindset with Connie as they had with Steven. If Jasper killed her, they wouldn’t care unless he forced them too. They had even less of a relationship with Connie than with the Gems, and even if they considered organics to be equal, they likely still saw Connie as Steven’s pet, due to the fact that every time they saw her she was always by his side.

So while Jasper could eliminate Steven at the cost of her own life, murdering Connie came with basically no consequence other than the Crystal Gems coming after her. That’s why she promised to tear her apart earlier. Because she knew she could make good on that promise. And sure, the rest of the Gems would likely try to shatter Jasper for this, but something told Steven that if this happened, then the Quartz would be long gone by the time the entire team arrived at her cave to take revenge. But as for Steven? He’d be too distraught by her death to take any action other than crying over her corpse. And if Jasper’s words were anything to go by, said corpse certainly wouldn’t be in any sort of state that’d allow him to bring her back, like with Lars. He didn’t know the full capabilities of his necromancy powers, but they had to have their limits. And he was sure that “managed beyond recognition” was one of those limits.

Connie was terrified of losing her life to this fight, and Steven was terrified for her, creating an infinite circle of fear that locked around them both and trapped them in their emotions. Tears started pooling in Stevonnie’s eyes as they considered their options. Obviously, hiding was still a priority. They had to evade Jasper and avoid a direct confrontation now. With the Quartz as mad and as bloodlusted as she was, they were no match for her now. It would be a short, brutal, one-sided battle. 

But camouflaging themselves from her was not the only option. Escaping entirely was another. If they ran far enough, they’d come across something eventually. A small part of them told them to turn around and make a beeline for the path, where they could get back to Little Homeworld, a place where Jasper hopefully might not follow them. Almost an impossibility, but a lot more appealing than the first option.

So they ran. They ran until their legs went numb and the shoes they were wearing started to fall apart. But just as the soles started to fall off, they heard it. The most wonderful sound in the world. A river. A fast one. And beyond that, very faintly, they could make out the sound of a waterfall.

‘Yes!’ Connie exclaimed. ‘We can use that!

‘What, the waterfall?’ Steven asked.

‘Yeah! We can hide behind it and use the water as a cloak so she doesn’t see us. Then we’ll wait until she gets bored, leaves, and then we can finally get out of here.’

‘...’

‘I know. We won’t be getting anything about the Traitor. But I think it’s a bit too late to be thinking about that.’ Connie pointed out. ‘Probably became too late when we trapped her in that cave…’

‘It’s not that. It’s jus...I was so stupid.’ Steven said, reprimanding himself. “I knew that doing that would only further enrage her, but I had us do it anyways. I thought we could take advantage of it and beat her after she got free. But after what she yelled at us, I let our fears take over and forced Stevonnie to flee. This...this is all my fault.’

‘No, it’s not.’ Connie claimed. ‘I was the one that was afraid back there. And it makes sense. I’ve been scared ever since we arrived. I thought I could bury my fears of Jasper and make it so that I wasn’t afraid of her in the slightest. But...I couldn’t. The way she looked at me back there made me want to find some hole to hide in and curl up into a ball. I...I’m the reason we fled like that.’

‘It’s both of you.’ Stevonnie blurted out, now speaking aloud. ‘And me as well. All our fears combined came together, because that’s what fusion is. Something that brings it all together. Emotions, strengths, weaknesses, all of it. I’m afraid of being split apart and never getting the chance to come back together. Connie’s afraid of Jasper tearing her to pieces like she promised. Steven’s scared for Connie because he knows Jasper won’t hesitate to keep that promise. And now…’

Stevonnie looked to their right and saw a swarm of glowing butterflies appear in the corner of their vision, fluttering in midair and seeming to be made out of pure light, glowing and sparkling under the afternoon sun. They didn’t even bother questioning how they were seeing them without being in the mindscape, instead focusing solely on the fears that the insects were most likely composed of.

‘What we have to do...all of us…’

The butterflies spotted the fusion and started flying towards them.

‘Is too make sure that these fears are pushed deep down, where they won’t ever bother us again.’

The swarm reached Stevonnie and engulfed them in an instant, clouding their vision to the point where they couldn’t even see the ground beneath them. For the first time since they started, the fusion stopped sprinting, slowed down, and stood in place, breathing heavily and finally catching their breath. The glowing bugs formed a sort of tornado around them, preventing them from getting out and making Connie feel extremely claustrophobic, although Steven and Stevonnie quickly repelled this feeling and shook it off. There couldn’t be any more distractions. Not at a time like this.

‘But that won’t do anything.’ Steven said. ‘We can push them as far down as we want, but they’ll still be there. We’re not getting rid of them. All we’d be doing is guaranteeing that we’d have to deal with them later on.’

‘Yes.’ Stevonnie agreed. ‘So you two have to get rid of them.’

‘Can’t you?’ Connie asked.

Stevonnie laughed, their voice echoing throughout the trees. ‘This is so weird.’ They said, repeating what Steven had said earlier. ‘I...am made of you two. I am you two. Yet it seems that somehow we’re three different beings. How is that possible? Who am I really? A combination of personalities? Or my own person entirely? If you two are here...talking to me...then it has to be the latter, right?’

‘I don’t know.’ Steven thought, answering truthfully. ‘I’ve never really thought about it that wa-’

‘It’s both.’ Connie thought confidently. ‘You’re made up of our personalities. But you’re also your own person. Garnet told us that fusion is an experience. For everyone involved. Including the fusion itself. Maybe there’s people out there who’ll say that you aren’t real. That Steven and I are crazy and doing nothing but talking to someone that isn’t there. But you’re speaking to us now, and that’s good enough for me. You’re not me, or him. You’re something different! We’re something different! You-no, we don’t need those fears while we’re fused! Because like this, we can take on the entire world and-’

“FOUND YOU!” A sudden voice screamed, causing Connie to abruptly shut up, Stevonnie being brought back to the real world, and the butterflies scattering like they were never there to begin with. They whipped around and saw Jasper standing there, looking like she hadn’t even broken a sweat. The fears from earlier shoved their way past everything else and came to the surface, making the past few minutes of questions and pep talks effectively useless.

“Found you…” Jasper repeated. “That took a while. I thought you had almost given the slip there. But look at this. It’s almost like you’re waiting for me to show up.” She cracked her knuckles. “I know you’re listening Universe. I know you can hear me. And I hope you remember what I said earlier. Once I beat you to the point where you unfuse, I’ll let you say goodbye to your little human. But after that…”

The Quartz grabbed a nearby stone that fit perfectly in her hand and crushed it into dust. 

“I’m going to do what I should have done the second I laid eyes on that filthy creature.”

Stevonnie took a step back as they tried to brainstorm a way out of this. Steven came to the surface and started speaking, hoping that he could say the right thing to convince Jasper otherwise.

“W-wait Jasper!” They said desperately. “Listen to me. You don’t have to do this. You can just…”

“I DON’T want to hear it.” Jasper thundered, taking a step towards them and summoning her helmet, the two sharp corruption spikes attached to it glistening in the sunlight. “No more talk.”

“You didn’t let me finish!” Stevonnie protested. “Jasper, if you continue to fight us like this, then...ummm...Steven will never come around here for another one of those sessions ever aga-”

“I said I DON’T WANT TO HEAR IT!” Jasper yelled, and she rocketed towards the fusion, crash helmet aimed directly at their gem. Stevonnie yelped and summoned a shield to cover it, but the force from Jasper’s attack was too much, and the shield was slammed into their stomach as the Quartz smashed into it, making them taste blood in their mouths before collapsing onto their back, struggling to breathe after such a hit.

Inside Stevonnie’s mindscape, the entire area was falling apart, with Steven and Connie desperately trying to keep things together. They weren’t having much luck, but so far all they had done was kept themselves from unfusing, which was really all they could do at this point. The Quartz’s shadow fell over them and Steven took over while Connie prevented the fusion from failing, although it was taking every ounce of strength she had.

“Ugh. What a disappointment.” Jasper growled, walking over and pressing her foot down on their chest. Stevonnie groaned in pain and grabbed her ankle in an attempt to shove it off, but they were still exhausted from running around, and had used the last of their strength to summon that shield. Truth be told, they were now sapped of all their energy, so fighting back against Jasper was impossible. 

The power of the mind over the body had failed.

“Is this really all you have?” She asked, pressing her foot down on their ribs, creating a sickening cracking sound as they started to break, one by one. Stevonnie used every last bit of willpower to not scream in pain, and a pained but excruciatingly silent whimper came out, followed by a waterfall of tears.

“Come on!” The Quartz yelled. “Get up and stop playing around. You may have fused with a weakling Steven, but you still have the Gemstone of a Diamond. There should always be strength to spare, even for someone like you!”

Stevonnie responded with another agonizing groan, not even sure what to say if they could speak.

“...”

Jasper didn’t say anything at first, merely tilting her head at the fusion and looking at them like she was expecting a proper response. “Not gonna say anything, huh?” She huffed. “Well, if me beating you into the ground is the only thing that makes you produce any kind of noise, then let’s keep going. By my count, there are still ten ribs left that I haven’t cracked. Let’s change that, shall we?”

Jasper then twisted her heel to the right and pressed down, shattering bone under her feet as she broke through and reduced the numbers of intact ribs in Stevonnie’s chest to single digits. They couldn’t hold it in any longer and let out an ear-piercing shriek at the intense affliction, before a bright light started to engulf their body as they began to fall apart.

“That’s right.” Jasper hissed, her voice filled with glee. “Fall apart. End your pain and just accept the inevitable. Did you really expect to beat me? Like this? The only way that would have ever happened is if I let you. Like I said, you have a Diamond’s Gemstone. But you are no Diamond, and you never will be in my eyes, or anyone else that has a lick of sense! This is your fault Universe.” She stated. “Everything is your fault. And now, your precious little human is going to die because of it!”

Stevonnie began to glow brighter as Steven and Connie screamed in agony inside their mind, feeling like they were having a simultaneous heart attack. Now they knew how it felt. What it was like to not be in control of fusion. Sure, this had happened several times before, but that was because of emotional problems. But this, this was not that. This was like the very fabric of their souls was being ripped apart at the seams, nerve endings screaming at them and the mindscape being shredded as everything came undone. The light began to encompass them entirely, and they knew that they could fight for no longer.

“Almost there.” Jasper teased. “When you two finally split, I hope you know that I intend to make good on that promise from earlier, back at the cave. None of what I said was a lie. But as a gift, I won’t kill it-oh, excuse me, her, immediately.” She corrected. “Maybe I’ll drag it out for a while. I know that humans can be surprisingly resilient when it comes right down to it. Back in that little war, I saw tons of them get up and keep fighting despite having injuries that’d poof any Gem. It almost made me respect a few of them.”

Her smirk grew wider and Jasper leaned down towards their face. “Almost. But I have no respect for you Connie. Because you are a pet. Following Steven around, doing whatever he tells you too, and protecting him with your life. Loyalty like that might be admirable if you had a life of your own to begin with. Because wasn’t that Rose Quartz’s message? That all Gems should be free? Heck, even I’m doing that. I don’t take orders from anyone now.” Her smile turned into a scowl as she practically pressed their noses together. “But you...you agreed to fuse. You agreed to fight. And I’m betting that you never would have come here if Steven hadn’t convinced you too in the first place! You’re nothing without him! And I’m sure that you always have been!”

“That’s...not...TRUE!” Stevonnie yelled, the light that surrounded them fading to a level where their face was once again visible. To Jasper’s and their own surprise, the two had somehow managed to hold on long enough. Inside the mindscape, Steven and Connie components were literally scraping it back together, praying that it’d be enough for Stevonnie to remain fused. 

“Huh?” Jasper exclaimed, visibly shocked at their sudden comeback. “What was that?”

“It’s not true!” Stevonnie repeated, Steven coming to the surface while Connie continued to work on holding them in conjunction. “Connie has a beautiful life on her own! She doesn't need me at all! She’s one of the bravest, smartest, and friendliest people I’ve ever met! She’s going to do stuff soon like going to college and getting a job and becoming president and all that!” He shouted. “Would her life be different without me? Definitely! But that doesn’t make it any worse! Her life was only more exciting with me in it, but that doesn’t make it any better Jasper! And she...” Stevonnie scowled at Jasper and succeeded in lifting her foot an inch of their chest. “...she’s not some pet. Not some person trapped in a fusion! Not some mindless animal following commands or any of the other horrible things you claimed she was! Connie had a choice! A choice to either stay with me or live a normal life! And because she chose the former...I couldn’t be more grateful! She’s the person here who has a life! She’s the person I love because of all of this! She’s the person I want to spend my life with, but as equals and not in the way you described it! And even if she doesn’t want to, I’ll still accept that, if it means that she’s happy!”

The glow that surrounded Stevonnie dimmed into nonexistence as Connie overheard all of this inside the mindscape. A faint smile and blush came across her face at those words and finally gave them both the power to pull the fusion back together. A similar blush came over Stevonnie’s face as Steven realized this, and he begged to the forces that be that he hadn’t made the wrong choice pronouncing his love for her like that. Hopefully he’d forgive her for all of this, if they survived.

“But you...you’re the pet!” Stevonnie continued. “You’re a slave! A slave to fighting!”

“A slave?!” Jasper exclaimed. “I am no one's slave Universe.” She then rubbed her eyes and glared at them. “But you know what? I don’t even care about that. It doesn’t matter. Now, what did you say just a second ago? Something about how little Connie is going to grow up and become president or some nonsense like that? I don’t know what any of that means, but I do know that it won’t matter if she doesn’t get too in the first place. Looking to the future is pointless if there isn’t one to begin with!”

Stevonnie’s eyes widened and the amicable feeling they got from Steven’s speech vanished as Jasper moved her foot and went for the finishing blow: crushing their heart. She pressed down hard, eagerly taking her time in doing so and enjoying watching them squirm. The fusion gasped and once again attempted to lift her foot up, but it didn’t budge this time. Whatever strength they had used to lift her foot an inch off them was clearly a one-hit-wonder, and now it was impossible. Love or no love, stable fusion or not, there was nothing they could do against strength like this.

“I wonder what’ll happen after this.” Jasper pondered. “If I did this to a normal fusion, they’d poof and that’d be the end of it. But you’re not a normal fusion abomination, are you? You’re mostly human. And I heard your bones cracking earlier, which proves that. So if I shove my ankle through your chest, what will happen? You’ll unfuse obviously, but which one is going to take the damage? One of you? Both? Neither?” She chuckled as she started fantasizing about killing them again, something that had practically become a hobby for her in the last half-hour. “I’m going to be honest. I’m hoping it’s neither. That way I can kill “Connie” personally and also so those pathetic gems don’t come after me if they find Universe with a hole in his chest. Although I suppose if I kill both of you…...actually, nah.” Jasper shook her head. “Because I’m guessing you told someone where you went before you left to go to me, right? So if you two go missing, it’ll be pretty obvious who’s to blame.”

“R-remember what I said.” Stevonnie gurgled. “If you k-kill Connie, then Steven will n-never-”

“Have another fighting session with me?” Jasper sighed. “Yeah, I heard. And I don’t care. Every time he comes to me it’s too let off steam. And every time I hope that this time is the one where he finally snaps, and sees that I’m right! That he shouldn’t be avoiding that pink power, but embracing it! It’s who he is now! But instead, he always whines and complains about his friends and his family leaving him or something.” She huffed. “I don’t know. I never really cared to pay attention to it. All that mattered to me were the fights we had, not the reasoning behind it. And those...were nothing but disappointments.”

‘Steven, what is she-’

‘Later talk! Later! Focus! Fo-ARGHH!’

This sudden cry of pain came from Jasper finally getting bored of talking and deciding to end it. She dug her heel into their skin, twisting it around and humming what sounded like a war song to herself. Stevonnie’s cries came out as strained and inaudible pleas for mercy, which were of course ignored. Inside the mindscape, all the repairs Steven and Connie had just performed were once again made irrelevant, like a time loop that just wouldn’t stop playing.

(Note: the following conversation takes place over the timespan of three seconds.)

‘We can’t focus!’ Connie said. ‘I know I’ve been saying that a lot, but this time I think I mean it. We have nothing left. We have to unfuse and-’

‘If we unfuse she’ll kill you!’ Steven protested. ‘We can’t do that!’

‘Well, we’ll have a better chance like that than what we have now! We have no choice! I’m going to-’

‘No! Connie! Wait! Please wait!’ Steven pleaded, knowing full well that unfusing meant that his best friend, a person he had hoped might one day be his wife, would meet a premature and gruesome end. ‘You can’t! You know we can’t! If we unfuse we’ll still be as weak as we are now! You...you won’t be able to...and then she’ll…’

‘I know.’ Connie said solemnly. ‘I know. But...if we stay like this, then we’re both going to die. If Jasper actually crushes our heart...it’ll affect us both. Stevonnie’s body isn’t like a Gems. Neither of us will survive. And I’m not going to let you die like this.’

‘Connie...you cant.’ Steven said shakily. ‘If you do that, you’ll be doing nothing but proving her point.’ He sobbed. 

‘W-what?’

‘About what she said earlier. About how you’re my ‘pet’ and that you would do anything for me out of loyalty. If we unfuse and you go at her swinging your sword like crazy, then it’s just like she said.’ Steven pointed out. ‘You’ll be doing this for me. But I don’t want you to! I don’t want you to do this for me!’

‘But wasn’t that whole thing about how it didn't matter what you want me to do, but what I want to do?’

‘That’s not the point!’ Steven said. ‘There’s a difference. I don’t want to order you around like that if it means you’re not happy! But you won’t be happy if you do this either! And if you die, I won’t be happy ever again!’

Connie then spoke again, now sounding like she was crying. ‘Then...then what…’

‘You were right about one thing.’ Steven sniffled. ‘As much as I hate to say it...as much as I don’t want to believe it...unfusing is probably our only way out at this point. But that doesn’t mean I’m letting her get to you. So run. You as fast as you can back to the path and back to Little Homeworld. Don’t look back, don’t get your sword, don’t stop for anything, just run!’

‘But what about you?’

‘I’ll hold her off as long as I can. She’s not going to kill me. She wouldn’t risk having to face the wrath of the Authority.’

‘Steven...neither of us are in any shape to do something like that. If I start sprinting, I won’t make it five feet without collapsing out of exhaustion. And you'll be so weak that she’ll just swat you aside and then go for me! It won’t work!’

‘I don’t know what else to do!’ Steven sobbed. ‘I...I don’t…...I’m sorry.’ He apologized again. ‘I’m sorry. This is all my fault. I dragged you into this. I convinced you to fuse. I wanted to know more stuff about the Traitor, and now you’re going to die because of-’

‘Don’t say stuff like that!’

‘What do you want me to say?’ Steven whimpered, sounding like a river of tears was coming out of his eyes. ‘I don’t need future vision here to know what’s coming next. All I have is Jasper’s promise she made to us. Something I know she won’t break. And I don’t want to lie to you about it!’

Connie didn’t know how to respond. Was this really it? This was really how she was going to die? Connie tried to think of worst ways to go, but she was having trouble finding any. This wasn’t even going down fighting. This was going down helplessly struggling and squirming against an opponent. If a death could be considered noble, this was not it. But then something came to mind. Something Jasper had said earlier.

Something that might hold the key to saving them.

‘Wait...Steven. What was that Jasper mentioned about that pink power you have?’ She asked, hoping that this paid off.

‘What?’ He sniffled, sounding totally defeated. ‘Oh...that. It’s a power I have that I first used against her by accident months ago. It basically put me on her level.’

‘On her level-then why haven’t we used it yet?!’ Connie shrieked.

‘Because I don’t think we can! We’re 75 percent human and I’m sure that power is my Gem side coming out entirely. And I’m pretty sure that if we could use it, it would have happened by now!’

‘What triggers it?’ Connie asked, refusing to give up on what might be their last hope.

‘Anger...usually…but it can be a variety of things. Stress, anxiety, basically any negative emotion seems to be the trick.’

‘We’ve hardly gotten angry even once. We’ve just been afraid this whole time.’ Connie reminded him. ‘That’s it then. If this every power of yours is activated by getting angry, then that’s exactly what I’m going to do!’

‘But...but what if it doesn’t-’ 

‘Then I’m forcing us to unfuse so you can use it regularly, and you won’t be able to talk me out of it.’ Connie stated. ‘Now please Steven, stop crying and help me, help us, focus here. This may be our only chance left. Apologize all you want later. But right now, it’s time to unleash this little hidden power of yours and save both of us.’

‘...’

‘Okay?’

Steven wiped his tears away as a few streamed down Stevonnie’s face. ‘...Okay. But I didn’t even know what to get angry about. Everything I can think is just making me sad and depressed right now.’

‘Leave that to me. It’s time for a little improvisation.’

(Three seconds have now passed.)

Jasper sighed as Stevonnie let out another violent choking noise. She had started to count them in her mind, but got bored by the time they hit double digits. She cleared her throat and frowned down at them. “Alright. Time to die. For real this time.” She said, lifting her foot up slightly and readying herself to slam it down to finally finish her opponent off. “I wish things had turned out differently Universe. But after you dropped that cave on me, I think I realized that even after everything, all those fights we had, the only thing I ever got out of it was pity for yo-”

“SHUT UP.” Stevonnie ordered, now glaring at the Quartz in rage. Jasper was briefly taken aback by the fact that they could still breathe, much less speak. Their hands tightened around her ankle and lifted it a few more inches, gritting their teeth and shaking uncontrollably. Jasper watched in outrage/astonishment as the fusion’s hands started to glow bright pink, along with their cheeks followed by their shoes. Their eyes flashed brown as Connie took over and no longer saw the face of Jasper, but rather of her mother, similar to the dream the two of them had back on the jungle moon. The pain in their chest seemed to fade away, and they opened their mouth and spoke, speaking with the exact same tone Steven had heard Yellow Diamond use when she first addressed Peridot all those years ago.

“You…” They growled. “I’m done studying.”

“What in the-” Jasper started, before Stevonnie flashed fully pink, grabbed her upper leg, and flung the Quartz into a nearby tree like she weighed nothing. Jasper let out a strained cough and found it difficult to move at first, dumbfounded as to where they got this sudden strength from, before suddenly remembering that Steven had done the exact same thing to her, all those months ago. She let out a silent laugh, overjoyed to see that the fight wasn’t over quite yet.

Stevonnie, meanwhile, had gotten to their feet, grabbed their sword, summoned their shield, and now looked ready for action. Again.

“Mom…” They said, Connie’s voice shining through their own. The tone almost made Jasper a little concerned. It was something she had only heard once before, in Yellow Diamond’s presence, when she had coldly ordered the execution of a group of suspected rebels. Jasper actually took a step back before her inner voice reminded her of who she was facing, and so instead she laughed, ecstatic at the situation she now found herself in.

“Just like last time, eh?” She said, which provoked no reaction from Stevonnie besides a thin curling of the lips. “I’m surprised you’re actually able to do this. I wasn’t worried about it before because Universe fused with that filth, but I guess that-”

“DON’T YOU EVER SHUT UP?!” Stevonnie roared, before raising their sword and literally flying at the Quartz like Superman. A pink, angry, homicidal Superman. All the rage that Connie had been keeping inside her had finally gotten a chance to break free, and now, she was expressing it both physically and verbally.

The edge of their shield smacked into Jasper’s cheek, knocking out one of her teeth and leaving a giant mark similar to a bruise. She huffed and attempted to swing her fist at them, but only hit empty air as the fusion jumped straight over her and slashed her back with their sword. Jasper cried out in pain as the sword left a giant gash in her form. No blood, no bones, just a long and empty hole in her body that left her wondering why they hadn’t taken her out then and there, considering the fact that they certainly had the speed and skill to do so.

And the answer was because Connie wanted to make this hurt. While she would never even think of hurting her mother like this, no matter how mad she was, Jasper was certainly something else. The constant threats of murder and death that she had given towards the girl showed Connie that if Jasper wasn’t going to play around, then she shouldn’t have to either. She wasn’t sure if she enjoyed hurting her, but she definitely didn’t care whether she felt pain or not. What she needed right now was to let all of it out, and this pink power was the perfect opportunity. It made them strong enough to beat her would-be killer into the ground, and that was what mattered.

“That’s for never letting me call my friends from school!” Stevonnie yelled. “And THIS…” They kicked Jasper’s legs out from under her and sent her flying into another tree with a second swift whack from their shield. “Is for turning them away when they came to our door looking for me!”

“What...ugh...are you talking about?!” Jasper groaned, grabbing her now cracked and broken helmet and ripping it off. “Friends from school?! Turning them away?! Did me nearly killing you earlier make you delusional, or am I-”

“Doesn’t matter!” Stevonnie yelled, suddenly summoning another shield and throwing it at Jasper like a frisbee. Jasper ducked and just barely dodged it, and instead hit the giant tree behind her, cleanly cutting it in half like a giant buzz saw. She watched in amazement as bark, twigs, and various other parts of the tree began raining down as the stump suddenly cracked under the weight and the whole thing began to tilt over.

“Timber.” Stevonnie whispered, before leaping straight up to get to a safe height. Jasper wasn’t so lucky, as planned. A faint shadow fell over her entire body as the tree started to fall in her direction, causing her to panic, and instead of running, she froze up, eyes widening as several voices began yelling at her, all of them imaginary but still completely real.

“Fusion is just a cheap tactic to make weak Gems stronger.”

“Let’s stay on this miserable planet...together!”

“Why...would you want that?”

“Are you ready to apologize?”

“Nobody I fuse with...ever wants to stay.”

“No...no! No!” She screamed. “Not again! I will not be beaten by you again!”

But unfortunately for Jasper, this quick reflection cost her precious time and space, so instead of kicking away the dead plant like a football she instead ran straight away from it instead of to the side. This proved to be her downfall as the tree caught up with her no time and toppled over entirely, nailing her in the back and pinning her underneath its bulk as birds and other forest animals fled, a giant cloud of dust and dirt rising up from the area in the aftermath of the tree's destruction.

Grinning widely, almost identically to how the Quartz smiled at the beginning of the fight, Stevonnie floated back down to inspect the ruins of the tree, and spotted Jasper immediately. A loud groan was heard as she threw the whole thing off of her and to the side, causing the ground to shake some more, although Stevonnie had no trouble keeping their balance in the state they were in. They casually strode over to Jasper, who was now on her knees, silently chastising herself for getting herself stuck in her memories and not simply deflecting the “attack”.

“It’s over.” The fusion said coldly, raising their sword high in the air and threatening to cut the Quartz down. “Four hits. That’s all it took since you pinned me. Two from the shield, one from the sword, one from a damn tree, which somehow reduced you to this, and now you’re beaten. Just like I was. Looks like the shoes on the outer foot now.”

“Erghh...what...happened to you?” Jasper asked weakly, pushing herself up and standing on her own two feet. She now towered over the fusion again, although they didn’t bother retreating, knowing that they could nail her three times in the time it took for her to throw her fist at them. “You’re different. When Universe went pink...he was still himself. Angrier, sure, but still himself. He was quick to apologize after the fight. But you...you’ve been babbling on about a bunch of nonsense that has nothing to do with me. I'm not sure if you’ve lost your mind, hallucinating, or both.”

“It’s a coping mechanism.” Stevonnie deadpanned. “Something to help me not pull my punches against you. And don’t bother asking about all that stuff I was talking about. It had nothing to do with you and you wouldn’t get it anyways.”

“Hm. Good. I was worried that your little pink state had caused your human to go crazy with all that power at their disposal Steven.” Jasper grunted. “So. Which one am I talking to?”

“Which one are you what?”

“Oh, don’t give me any of that. Don’t think I have no idea how fusion works.” Jasper huffed. “Trust me, nobody knows better about how the two parts of a fusion work than me. Malachite really opened my eyes to how all that works.”

As these words faded into the forest, Stevonnie gaped at Jasper in pure disgust and was about to punch her as hard as they could in the throat for even suggesting that she knew the first thing about fusion from Malachite. That whole mess couldn’t even be considered a true fusion. If any fusion was an abomination like Jasper claimed they were, it was Malachite. Born out of abhorrence for the world and everything around her. So unstable and broken that they were practically a corruption in terms of mentality. The gems had only beaten them by fusing into Alexandrite, and even then they wouldn’t have won without some extra help from the watermelon Steven’s. Malachite was a creature that shouldn’t have existed, and Jasper was not allowed to say she understood fusion because of it.

However, Jasper started speaking her poison again before they could go for a throat punch, and despite how much rage it put in both of them, the Steven part kinda wanted to hear what she had to say. Even if that part was basically being used as a battery right now, with Connie as the metaphorical lightbulb. To say that Stevonnie was still a perfect fusion at the moment was a complete lie. Truth be told, they hadn’t felt like their regular selves ever since they first fused today. Almost like their out of control emotions had been tampering with the fusion's stability. 

But...something they had to deal with later.

“So who is it?” The Quartz asked again. “Am I talking to Universe, or am I talking to...what was it’s name again? Karen? Carla? Some other silly human word?”

“It’s Connie.” Stevonnie growled. “And yeah. I’m the one you're speaking to right now. But it’s like you said earlier, right? I don’t want to hear it. So give it up. You’ve lost. Keep going, and I’ll make sure to hurt a lot worse than Alexandrite or Smoky ever did.”

Jasper scoffed. “How do you even know about-”

“Because it’s me now. Steven.” Stevonnie said, having switched over to him after they said “lost,” which Connie only allowed because he promised to give her back control if Jasper lunged at them again. Given how angry she was, she was currently the dominant personality in the fusion, and Steven wasn’t particularly fond of that. They were supposed to be doing this together after all. But once again, they couldn’t unfuse without being sure that Jasper was defeated, so he simply regretted coming here for the millionth time. He was sure that if this continued, it might have some lasting psychological effects on them both. The bad kind, of course. 

It was almost ironic. Now he was the one who wanted to unfuse. And yet, a small part of him told himself that none of this had made sense from the beginning, so it’d be best to just accept this and keep moving forward until the day was over.

“Universe.” Jasper muttered, kneeling her head slightly. “Nice to talk to someone who has some sense. I thought you were going to let your little pet actually try and shatter me.”

“She’s not a pet Jasper!” Stevonnie exclaimed, finally  
facepalming in irritation at the Quartz’s constant refusal to refer to Connie properly. “I thought we already went over this! And you were doing so fine earlier! Calling by her real name and everything! What happened to that?”

“You dropped a cave on me.” Jasper said in a monotone voice. “But none of that is important, because what makes you think I’ll just surrender? I didn’t back then. I won’t now.”

“When we beat you back at the beach, we-”

“BEAT?!” Jasper exclaimed, before suddenly kneeling over and howling in laughter. She slapped her legs as Stevonnie looked on in bewilderment, not sure what to make of this.

‘What is she…’

‘I don’t know.’ Steven said. ‘But get ready to switch in case something happens. Considering what she’s laughing about, this might be a trick to her is to let our guard down.’

After a minute or so of this, with Stevonnie awkwardly standing around waiting for the laughter to die down, Jasper finally stopped, letting out a few chuckles or so as a finisher. “Beat.” She repeated, as if the word was the most hilarious thing she had ever heard. “Yeah. You “beat” me. Sure.”

“What are you talking about?” Stevonnie asked. “We got you to retreat into the ocean. I think that qualifies.”

“Then why were you losing to me so easy just before you went pink?” Jasper asked.

“Be-because we had been sprinting at top speed for like five minutes straight, and we didn’t have that much energy left.” Stevonnie pointed out. “That tends to make most people pretty tired.”

“Maybe. But that’s not it.” Jasper said. “You didn’t beat me because you were better. You beat me because-”

“Because you let me or something stupid like that?” Stevonnie said with a frown, anticipating what Jasper was going to say next. “Yeah, keep telling yourself that Jasper. That you let me win so you could “check out my moves” or “know how to fight me next time” or whatever. Like always, you have to come up with some feeble excuse for yourself as to why you lost. Or more likely, some excuse as to why you lost to a fusion.”

Jasper didn’t even look the tiniest bit miffed by this statement. “Pah! Now who’s telling themselves lies?” She scoffed. “But I think this conversation is going nowhere. What were you talking about saying earlier? When we were back on the beach? Lemme guess, you were about to say something about how since I was “defeated” back then, I should give up now. But…”

Jasper summoned her helmet again.

“I don’t think you understand my res-”

‘You’re up again.’

‘Finally.’

Without waiting for Jasper to finish, Stevonnie swung their left arm forward and delivered a devastating uppercut to the Quartz at lighting speed, nailing her directly in the chin and resulting in her flying upwards several feet straight into a thick tree branch. As she slammed into the branch and then came soaring back down, Stevonnie contemplated their next move, time conveniently slowing down in their heads.

‘Hmmm…’ Connie hummed.

‘What is it?’ Steven asked.

‘I’m not sure exactly what to do next. Should I keep fighting her until she gives up?’

‘That was what happened when I took her out using this form…’

‘Okay, when this is all over, you’re really going to have to explain this whole pink form to me and where it came from.’

Steven sighed. ‘I will. But for now, let me do something so we can get her a little farther away from us to figure out our next move. Just for a bit, and then you can keep pounding away at her.”

‘If you say so.’

Now in control, Steven formed a giant bubble shield around Stevonnie's right foot and reared their leg back. Jasper came back down and found herself with no way to stop what was coming. Once in position, the fusion shot their foot at her head and kicked her away from them and into the underbrush, knocking her helmet off her head in the process. She landed about fifty feet away, none the worse for wear but definitely a little woozy from the blow.

‘Okay. Let’s figure this out.’ Steven thought. ‘The first time I beat her when I went pink, I’m pretty sure she only stopped because she was happy with how the fight had gone after I drove like twenty feet into the ground. She mentioned something along the lines of “I didn’t know you had it in you”. But after that, at our later...uh, sessions, we only stopped when one of us was too tired to continue. Which…was always me.’

So she won’t give up no matter how much we keep attacking her?’ Connie asked. ‘But back on the beach when we were protecting Amethyst...and when you and the Gems crashed the warship… and that time she was corrupted...she didn’t try to fight by herself anymore. She either retreated or fused with someone to win. And I know there’s no one to fuse with out here, but doesn’t she know her own limits by now? One of those limits being that she’s outclassed when we’re like this?’

‘I...I don’t know what’s even going on with her or anything else anymore.’ Steven admitted. ‘This entire trip has been one big mess from start to finish. But yeah, I think we just keep fighting her. That...or we can leave. If she tries to attack us, we can swat her away any time with you going all psycho with your anger towards your mom, but-’

‘Please realize that I wouldn't even think of doing the things I did to Jasper to my mom.’ Connie pleaded. ‘I was letting off steam, but I’d never hurt her or-’

‘It’s okay, I get it.’ Steven reassured her. ‘Sometimes I came here to fight with Jasper to calm myself down too.’

‘So she’s just your personal anger management punching bag?’

‘I usually end up being the punching bag by the end of our fights.’ Steven sighed. ‘But...does it bother you that I’m doing this? Going off to fight her?’

‘I mean, I literally just did something like that, so...okay. I’m not sure I like the idea of you doing it, she could seriously hurt you one day, but I get why you would need to do it.’

‘Oh. Uhhh...thanks for understanding?’ Steven said, genuinely surprised that Connie wasn’t more upset.

‘You’re welcome. But I’m totally upset that you never told anyone about this sooner.’ Connie said. ‘I can only imagine what the Gems would have to say about it. And Steven, we can practically read each other’s thoughts and emotions in here, remember? I could feel you trying to hide those memories earlier.”

‘Well, that’s a good thing, at least it means we’re stable again…’ Steven thought, trying to look at the bright side of things/ a way to change the topic

‘For now. But in the meantime, I think I’m going to try and move Jasper back to her cave. Maybe try and bury her under the rocks again.’

‘That didn’t work out so well last time.’

‘Yeah, but like you said, just keep beating her until she gives up. I don’t care if it takes all day-well, actually, I do, I still have that curfew, but I didn’t mind letting this drag on for a while. Especially not after all those insults Jasper directed at us.’

‘I’m so sorry you had to hear those because of me.’

Stevonnie shrugged. ‘Eh. After Homeworld, I’m kinda used to it. It’s still really annoying, sure, but…...it could be a lot worse.’

Their dialogue was interrupted by several loud snapping sounds as Jasper started plowing through the underbrush towards them, moving on all fours like an animal. Stevonnie glowed brighter and darker and they got ready to strike back again.

‘You know, on second thought...that waterfall is like twenty feet away from us.’ Connie thought. ‘I think I’m just going to throw her over that. Seems easier than dragging her all the way back to the cave.’

‘Got it. I’ll keep Stevonnie stable in here, and if you need help, remember that we can still do this together. Because...that’s kinda how fusions are supposed to work. Like that, not this.’

‘True. But right now...I think it’s best if we finish this as soon as possible.’

Without another word being spoken, Jasper came into view again and lunged at them, helmet back on and with its spikes now pointed directly at them like the horns of a bull. Stevonnie took a quick glance behind them, formed a plan in less than a second, dropped their sword, and enlarged their shield until it was as wide as a wardrobe was tall. Jasper, failing to learn from her mistakes, rammed into it at top speed and almost cracked her gem in the process. In a flash, Stevonnie pointed it upward and lifted the Quartz into the air. Jasper tried to scramble off of it, seeing what was about to happen, but the fusion reacted faster and threw the entire shield over the nearby cliff, Jasper included.

The Quartz vanished from their sight as she flew over the cliff and fell into the waterfall. Stevonnie leaped over and looked into the giant mass of water, but saw nothing. Jasper didn’t emerge, and the only sounds now were the rushing of the waterfall and river, which was absolutely deafening this close up.

After a few seconds of searching, Stevonnie put their sword in the (now slightly cracked) scabbard on their back and sighed dramatically.

‘Should we go look for her?’ Connie asked. ‘I think I may have poofed her by accident. Hopefully her Gem isn’t lost somewhere down there…’

‘That definitely didn't poof her.’ Steven said confidently. ‘She’s taken attacks a lot worse than that. Even if she was already pretty beaten up. She’s still down there, so let’s go look. BOTH of us this time.’ He requested. ‘No more “you fight and I stay here.” I know you can handle this, but we have to do it together. Otherwise Jasper’s right about our fusion.’

Connie didn’t know what exactly Steven meant by that, but Jasper being right about anything was certainly bad news, so the fusion sighed and the two of them finally became one again. Stevonnie was truly back, the internal components had fused in the mindscape, and they were still glowing bright pink. 

“Jasper!” They shouted at the waterfall. “I’m coming to find you, so if you’re down there, come out already and save everyone some time!”

No response.

“Fine, whatever…” Stevonnie said, rolling their eyes. They leaped off the cliff and slowly floated to the gaggle of oddly shaped rocks that were to the left of the waterfall, and had to step back for a moment to avoid being sprayed in the face with any more water. They waited for a few seconds before taking their sword out again and waving it around. 

“I know you’re in there!” They yelled, goading Jasper to come out. “And I’m not going to get any of my clothes wet, even though…I’m already kind of a mess...” Stevonnie glanced down at their body and grimaced upon seeing their dirt and dust-stained clothes, and the Connie side groaned internally, knowing she would now have to sneak back into the house and change if the grime stayed after they were unfused. 

“But whatever!” They yelled. “None of that matters! Show yourself so we can end this stupid thing already!”

Just like last time, if Jasper heard them, she made no attempt at communication, and nothing appeared out of the water.

“Fine! Then I’m going home!” Stevonnie yelled. “Enjoy living the rest of your life knowing that this is the second time I’ve beaten you! Must be really sad! Taken down by yet another fusion! How embarrassing.”

“...”

“...”

“...”

“Okay, I’m leaving for real this time.” They announced. “If that didn’t make you want to attack me, then I don’t know what to say. Goodbye forever! Hopefully…”

Stevonnie turned around and started to walk back towards the cliff face, frowning and feeling like everything they had been through was the world's biggest waste of time. Which it was. All this was was nothing but a giant clusterfu-

“SURPRISE!” 

Stevonnie whipped around at the sound of Jasper’s voice, and their eyes widened at the sight of her jumping out of the waterfall, her fist aimed directly at their head. The intent to kill was in her eyes, like they were staring into the face of an insane person. She had no helmet, her hair was soaked and whipping around, and she now seemed to be missing several teeth, but her fighting spirit was obviously still very intact.

Stevonnie sighed, summoned a spiked bubble shield, and Jasper, unable to stop in midair, rammed her fist into it and impaled her arm on one of the spikes. She screamed in anger/pain and ripped her hand away, a giant hole now visible. There was still no blood or any human-like qualities to the injury. Just a blank hole in her body now.

“Why did you yell at me right before you tried to hit me?” Stevonnie asked, deforming the bubble shield and summoning a regular shield again. “Kinda defeats the purpose of a surprise attack.”

Jasper didn’t say anything in response and tried to hit them instead, but her movements were now sloppy and slow, almost like her rage was blinding her. Stevonnie was sure that they didn’t even need to be pink to avoid these attacks. It was official. Jasper was too worn out to keep going on. Whatever damage she had taken in that waterfall had hurt her to the point that the aching pains probably overtook everything else. She continued to swing widely, out of control, while the fusion casually blocked everything with their shield.

‘Okay, this is actually getting kind of pathetic.’ Connie said. ‘I never thought I’d describe Jasper in that way, but I really don’t know what else to call this.’

‘I’m not so sure. I’ve never seen her like this before.’ Steven claimed. ‘This isn’t...like Jasper. At the very least she should be admitting defeat. She had to be aware that she can’t beat us like this.’

‘Well, I don’t think she’s gotten that through her head yet. But now what?’ Connie queried. ‘I know I already asked that, but I don’t think she’s ever going to accept defeat unless we poof her and get it over with.’

‘Well, I’m not sure-’

‘OH SHIT!’

‘Wha-?’

Before Steven could form a proper response, he realized that he had let his and Connie’s mind stay on autopilot for a little too long, allowing Jasper to grab a nearby log and smack them in the side of the head with it. It broke in half against their skin the second it made contact due to their current pink durability, but it still hurt enough for them to stumble backwards and grasp the point of impact, gritting their teeth from the pain.

“Well, why didn’t you block that one?” Jasper mocked. “Kinda defeats the purpose of having a shield in the first place.”

As Jasper laughed and went to grab another log, Stevonnie groaned and held another conversation inside their head, this time talking much faster than before.

‘Okay. Ow.’ Steven said. ‘Sorry. That was my bad. I wasn’t paying attention.’

‘It’s both of our faults. We’re doing this together now after all.’ Connie said. ‘But it’s fine. She got one hit. It hurts, but that’s all. We’re good.’

‘I’m pretty sure most of our ribs are broken…’ Steven pointed out. ‘And the pink form is masking the pain so we can keep fighting.’

‘Oh...right.’ Connie winced. ‘How are we going to fix that...?’

‘When we unfuse, I’ll take all the damage we received with me. I’m not letting you get any injuries out of this. Then I’ll heal myself, and that’ll be the end of it.’

‘Steven…’

‘Don’t try to talk me out of it, I’ve made up my mind.’

Although Connie was downtrodden by the idea of Steven letting him be in that much pain for her, even temporarily, she still saw that it was probably best if he took the damage. He was naturally a lot tougher than she could ever hope to be, and the tone in his voice told Connie that yes, she wouldn’t be able to talk him out of it. 

‘Okay.’ She said, before thinking of something that wouldn’t require any of that to happen. ‘Wait, why didn’t we just heal it now?’

“Because I don’t want to use my healing powers while we’re pink. Since my abilities are supercharged or something when that happens, I don’t want to risk us gaining a healing factor or something even weirder if I try it.’

‘...Uh, wouldn’t a healing factor be a good thing?’ Connie asked.

‘Not when your body runs out of things to heal and your cells start to grow out of control to the point where you explode…’

‘...’

‘Pearl explained it to me after we watched a superhero movie.’ Steven explained. ‘She had fun pointing out why everything that happened in it would be terrible in real life.’

‘Well...okay. But promise me that when we do unfuse, you’ll be careful not to hurt yourself too much.’

‘I will. Now, we should probably take care of the Quartz in the room…’

Stevonnie came back to attention and caught a glimpse of Jasper swinging yet another log at their head, aimed for the same spot she had hit earlier. They ducked under it and then kicked Jasper in the abdomen with their heel, who barely even acknowledged the attack. Instead, she snatched their leg and before Stevonnie could react, lifted them in the air and started swinging them around in a circle at roughly 250 RPM. This only served to mildly inconvenience the fusion however, besides a slight feeling of dizziness, until Jasper let go and threw them at the cliff wall. They spread their limbs out and stopped in midair, much to the Quartz's chagrin.

‘Okay, I really hope I can’t vomit in here, because otherwise Stevonnie’s gonna have to do it.’ Steven moaned, sounding like he was sick and/or turning green. ‘Ugh...why weren’t we ready for that?’

‘Because she’s not as sloppy anymore as we thought she was. I’m wondering if the same attacks I called pathetic earlier were weak on purpose to get us to lower our guard. I mean...just look at her.’ Stevonnie turned their head downwards and stared at Jasper, who gave them a furious glare before turning her head left and right, trying to find something to throw. ‘That’s the face of someone whose plan just failed.’

‘So. Back to going all out again?’ Steven asked. 

‘No.’ Connie refused.

‘No?’

‘No, I’m done with this.’ Connie claimed. ‘This whole fight. It’s gone on for too long, and now I’m finished with it. It’s boring. It’s boring me.’

‘We nearly died like...what, five times and this is boring to you?’ Steven asked, sounding genuinely perplexed.

‘Not like that. I meant that I’m tired and I just want this to end. I don’t want to scruff my clothes up anymore, or get hurt more, or anything else. This had already taken up a huge chunk of time together, and I’d be lying if I said it hadn’t been a waste. Because do you really think Jasper is going to tell us anything about the Traitor when this is all over?’

‘...Definitely not.’ Steven admitted, reminiscing on Jasper’s claims about murdering Connie and forcing him to watch it all happen. That alone told him that she wasn’t planning to tell them anything from the start. She just wanted to have a good time, and had achieved that by successfully baiting them into fighting her.

‘Exactly.’ Connie agreed. ‘What do you say we just go? And for real this time. My backpack is still at her cave. So we go there, grab it, go back to Little Homeworld, and finally defuse. Far, far away from this mess.’

‘Okay...but then what? What about the investigation?’

‘I...we’ll figure that out.’ Connie said, not wanting to think about that right now, considering that the “investigation” is what got them into this whole mess too begin with. ‘So. What do you say we hit her really far away one last time, and then jump back up the cliff and beat it?’

‘...’

‘Well?’

‘...Sorry.’ Steven apologized. ‘But it’s like I said earlier. I feel like I’m talking to a different Connie right now. Almost like you’re not yourself.’

‘No, it’s still me Steven.’ Connie said. ‘But it’s me when I’m tired and angry and worried about my mother all at the same time. How about this. Since we didn’t get anything out of Jasper, we’ll go to one last place to find out about the Traitor for today. I’m definitely not as enthusiastic about this anymore as you are, but I’m not doing all this just for it to remain a mystery forever. I want to figure this out. We’ve come this far, and I’m not giving up on it. I’m just giving up on this fight...because it sucks.’

Steven almost laughed. ‘Yeah...that’s true. And thanks Connie. I swear, we’ll find out who they really were and what happened. Even if we have to do this a million more tim-’

‘Let’s not get crazy.’

‘Okay.’

With that all settled, Stevonnie let out a silent sigh and floated to the ground. Jasper, who had ripped a nearby tree stump out of the ground, reared her arm back and threw it at them. Stevonnie step-sided and dodged the attack before leaping and-

“I’m done.” Jasper said, throwing her arms in the air and then crossing them.

Upon hearing this sudden and casual remark, Stevonnie froze in mid-air and let themselves float downwards. Their feet touched the grass as Jasper let out a sigh and sat on it. The fusion, although confused, kept their stance and didn’t move any closer to her. This was almost certainly another trick after all.

“What do you mean you’re done?” They asked. “Like...with this fight?”

“Yeah.” Jasper said. “I’m done with this fight.”

“Uh...may I ask why?”

The Quartz fell onto her back like she was sky gazing and spread her arms out. Stevonnie tilted their head at the uncharacteristic action from Jasper, an action that left her totally open to attack.

“When I asked you to fight me, I expected it to be over quick.” She said. “Maybe no more than a few minutes. But now, we’ve dragged it out to what feels like hours. I hit you, you hit me, you ran, I caught up, I took forever to kill you when I should have just stomped on your head right then and there, then you went pink, tossed me around, and now we’re here.”

“That...was the process of events, yes.” Stevonnie said. “What were you trying to say?”

“I was hoping for a good fight.” Jasper sighed. “Instead I got this. It was fun at first. I thought I would love any kind of fight you gave me. But now it’s just...boring. It’s boring me. Somehow...despite all the battles I’ve been through...and all the Gems I’ve faced...I finally met an opponent who sucked away my will to fight.”

Stevonnie nearly choked on the air they were breathing as Jasper repeated the same thing that Connie had said earlier. But the meaning behind it was more important than Connie knew. For Steven, he knew all the different ways Jasper used actual emotion, and if she was being truthful or not. He could tell in a split second whether she was angry, mad, rageful, (there’s a difference between those three for her), and even happy. But he could especially spot boredom. And that was the one she was using right now. She was truly done with this fight and just wanted it to end. He made Stevonnie de-summon their shield and the fusion sat down as well, the wet grass staining their clothes.

“So...we’re done then?”

“Yeah.”

“You’re not going to attack me first?”

Not unless you give me a reason too.”

“Great.” Stevonnie said. “But...is that really why you stopped? Because it’s boring? It has to be something else.”

Jasper chuckled. “I’m guessing Steven’s in control now…” She surmised. “No. It’s not just that. It’s because I realized...that I can’t beat you.”

“But I thought you liked being beaten.” Stevonnie said, who Steven was now in control of. “You were ecstatic the first time I won against you in the pink form. That’s what’s happening now, and you’re bored for some reason? That makes no sense. It’s not like you at all.”

“You’re a fusion. That’s why.”

Stevonnie groaned. “Still playing the fusion-hating card, are we?”

“I don’t know what that means, but sure.” Jasper shrugged. “But I couldn’t allow myself to be beaten by another one of you. Especially one that was half-earthling.”

“You know, you’re technically an Earthling too, depending on the definition.” Stevonnie pointed out. “Little hypocritical there.”

“You know what I mean Universe.” Jasper said, shaking her head at them. “I meant organic. I couldn’t allow myself to be brought down to their level. Inferior creatures...not worthy of names...or titles...or-”

“Okay, you’re racist. For the last time, we get it.” Stevonnie grumbled. “What’s your point?”

“My point is that if I was defeated by you, then I’d have let myself sink down to that level.” Jasper explained. “So I forfeit instead. Nobody wins this fight.”

“I totally won.”

“Shut it.” Jasper hissed. “Just...unfuse and get out of here. I think I’m going to lay here for a while and fantasize about all the ways that I could have killed both of you and made it so that nobody ever found out.”

“Fascinating.” Stevonnie deadpanned, before climbing to their feet. The pink glow surrounding them finally faded and they returned to their normal hue, although oddly the pain from their ribs didn’t return. The fusion shrugged it off however and spoke again, using the most smartass-esque tone they could muster. “Although...I do find it interesting that you say you’re above organics. Pretty odd, considering that you once fought alongside one.”

In an instant, Jasper was back on her feet, the motion so fast that Stevonnie had trouble catching it. She was now glaring at them again (something that had happened so many times that the fusion was losing count), and if looks could kill, then Steven and Connie would be dead. 

“What was that?” She asked.

“The Traitor.” Stevonnie elucidated, still using the same tone from earlier. “The organic that fought for Homeworld. The whole reason Steven and Connie came to visit you in the first place. You were in that mural. You were there that day, and you fought Rose and Pearl alongside him...or them, whichever. But the point is, you can’t go saying that humans are lower than you. Especially considering the fact that in said mural, you were fighting Pearl, and they were fighting Rose. Which makes me think that they were better than you at combat…”

“You...dare...compare me to them?!” Jasper shrieked. “That thing that fought Pink-no, Rose, was nothing but a disgusting lab rat. A mistake! I don’t know what Blue Diamond was thinking when she ordered them to be made, and I still don’t.”

“Why do you hate them so much?” Stevonnie asked. “They fought for Homeworld. They fought Rose. Shouldn’t you at least have...some respect?”

“You can hate someone and respect them, like I did when Rose was still...Rose.” Jasper said. “But I don’t have any respect for them. They may have fought Rose, but they lost. Do you even know what she did to them?”

“Yeah, she wounded them and they ran.” Stevonnie said. “Pearl told me.”

Jasper tilted her head at the fusion and then made a face that looked like she was trying hard to not burst out laughing. “W-wound-wounded?! Ha! Haha! Hahahahahahahaha!” The Quartz started chortling hysterically again as Stevonnie’s mood turned into a bewildered one...mixed in with some suspicion. “Oh, that’s precious. That little Pearl of yours really lightened the load I see.”

“What are you talking about?”

“I’m sure you’ll figure it out eventually.” Jasper said. “But for now, leave. I know I promised to tell you about the Traitor no matter how the fight played out, but I changed my mind.”

Stevonnie sighed but wasn’t surprised. That was what they had been expecting after all. However, a small part of them still wanted to argue, so they did. After Jasper laughed like that about the Traitor being wounded, it was obvious that Pearl had withheld something. And Jasper knew exactly what it was. They couldn’t leave after that.

Well, they totally could, but the Connie side wasn’t about to let them.

“I don’t care.” Stevonnie said. “You told us you would, so go ahead and spill it. Otherwise, I’ll go pink again and trash your dumb cave, or regrow every single plant in the area with Steven’s healing powers.”

“I’d just rip them out again.”

“I’d still do it. And I know how much it would irritate you. So either tell me what you know, or-”

“Fine.”

“Wait, really?” Stevonnie asked, stupefied by her sudden cooperation. “Just like that?”

“I want you to get out of here as soon as possible, so if telling you about that loathsome Traitor will do that, then fine. So you get to ask three questions, but after that, shut up and get out.”

“Alright then…” Stevonnie mumbled, briefly pinching themselves to make sure they weren’t dreaming. “What happened during that fight? Why were you laughing when I said Pearl said they were wounded?”

“Can’t tell you.” Jasper shrugged.

“What!” Stevonnie exclaimed. “But you-”

“That’s not what I meant.” Jasper said. “I literally can’t tell you. Gems are made to obey Diamonds. And later on, Pink Diamond ordered me to never tell anyone about what really happened during that fight.” Jasper sat up and got to her feet. “Heh. Guess I see why now…”

“So it’s basically like the order she gave to Pearl…and that means no Homeworld gem, other than the rest of the Diamonds, will be able to tell me what happened.” Stevonnie surmised, rather upset with this reveal. “Unless...hey! I have Pink Diamond’s gem! Can’t I just rebuke that order?”

“Are you kidding?” Jasper asked rhetorically, rolling her eyes at the suggestion. “A few things about that. One, you’re spent years telling everyone that you’re not Pink Diamond Steven, including me. So it’s not like I see you as one. Your order would have no effect. Two, you’re a fusion right now, so I don’t think it’d work anyway. Three...if that was really possible, for you to order gems around like that, then you would have done it to that Pearl already to tell you the truth. And four...no.”

“Fantastic. Another mystery.” Stevonnie seethed. “I’m getting tired of the fact that that list keeps on growing the further we move along.”

“Next question. Get on with it.” Jasper demanded, not caring in the slightest about their “mystery list”. 

“Hm. Umm…” Stevonnie hummed. “What happened to them after the war?”

“Wow, you should really choose your questions more carefully.” Jasper said. “I never even got an order to not talk about this, because frankly I have no idea.”

“Oh come on! I get two more questions then!” Stevonnie complained, sounding like a child. “You can’t just keep doing this.”

“I’m answering to the fullest of my abilities, so don’t start complaining. And don’t expect me to give you any more questions. You can beat me up all you want fusion, but I’m not telling you anything you haven’t earned. And you haven’t, and will never, earn it like that.”

“Like that?”

Jasper looked away. “Figure it out.”

Stevonnie didn’t have the time or the inclination to do this, so instead, they focused on their last question. Something easy...something she’d know...something that would help them with-

They had it.

“Final question.” Stevonnie said. “Where, not who, can I go to to find out more about the Traitor?”

“Heheh. Actually a half-decent question.” Jasper said. “Not many places, that’s for sure. I’m sure that the lab that made them has deteriorated to the point where all the information inside is useless.”

“Actually, Rose and Pearl burned it down after the war, along with the notes it had stored inside it.” Stevonnie revealed. “Trust me, if that was still around, we’d be there, not here.”

“Hm. Figures.” Jasper said. “Trying to erase their memory, weren’t you Rose? Couldn’t forget what you did...”

“What are you-”

“The archives on Homeworld. Located deep beneath the Diamond palaces.” Jasper blurted out. “Eons and eons of records are stored there, detailing every little scrap of information about the Gem race you could possibly think of. The stuff about the Rebellion and all that is probably in the section that’s highly classified, but if you want to know the...eugh, Traitor, that’s where you find it.”

“Oh.” Stevonnie said. “Um, thanks? That was actually really usefu-”

“I only said it to make you go away.” Jasper said. “And speaking of which, you got your three questions. You know where to go next. Now get out of here and never come back. And that goes for you two Universe. As for our sessions...forget about them. I’ll find something else to fight.”

The Steven part of Stevonnie didn’t find it in himself to care at the moment, so the fusion simply stood up, brushed themselves off, put Connie’s sword back in its scabbard, and turned around to leave.

But just as they were about to leap back up the cliff, Jasper spoke up and said one last thing.

“You’re never going to find them.” She deadpanned. “Wherever they are, they don’t want to be found.”

“So they’re still alive then.” Stevonnie surmised, keeping their stance and not bothering to turn around.

“Depends on your definition of alive…”

Stevonnie narrowed their eyes and then leaped away up the cliff, while Jasper remained on the grass below, feeling a small twinge of pity for two of them. 

“If both of them are still alive by the end of this, then maybe I’ll give my respect. But until then…” She cracked her knuckles and chuckled to herself.

“None of this will turn out well for you Steven.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yup, and that's the last we'll see of Jasper for a while. To clarify again, she only gave up because she didn't want to be beaten by another fusion, even though...that's totally what happened. But she won't be seen for a while. Mentioned dozens of times, but not seen. Her part in all this was played. However, that doesn't mean she's completely off the board yet. Jasper will eventually come back, and she'll bring all the animosity with her.


	9. Trigger

“Should we unfuse now?”

“Not yet. She may be following us.”

“I’m pretty sure she doesn’t intend to. From what we just saw, she’s definitely given up on this fight Steven.”

“Well, even so…”

“Yeah, I know. We have to be careful. But what if she does come back?”

“Then...we’ll just take her down again. Simple as that.”

Stevonnie was bored. 

Very, very bored. 

The fusion had severely underestimated just how far away they had run from Jasper’s cave, and now, they were starting to regret not just leaping up into the air from the start to get a better vantage point. But now the tree branches above their head were so thick that attempting to jump through them without going pink (something that Steven claimed he didn’t want to have them do again) was an impossibility, forcing the fusion to move on foot.

They didn’t consider this to be a bad thing per se, since they needed a good walk to collect their thoughts. But frankly, their feet were hurting so bad right now that they couldn’t even focus on said thoughts. Everything below their knees felt like it had been driven over with an eighteen-wheeler.

However, the pain could be endured and ignored like most other wounds at the moment, and they did as such. Stevonnie was more focused on their next move. Well, Steven and Connie, to be specific. Because soon Stevonnie would cease to be once they made it back to Little Homeworld. And probably for a long while after that. The whole experience with Jasper would no doubt give them pause anytime they or someone else wanted them to fuse again, a result of the beatdown they both received and dealt out.

As for their next move however? That was tricky. They had a location and a source of information now. One that’d likely give them much more than anyone they had visited so far. The archives on Homeworlds. Eons and eons of records on all of Gem history, as Jasper claimed. There had to be something about the Traitor in there. Even if it was classified like all the other stuff about the Rebellion. But Steven had Diamond clearance. He could get them through no problem.

Now, this wasn’t to say that the two teens were jumping for joy at this next clue. Quite the opposite in fact. Steven was not particularly thrilled to go back to Homeworld and deal with the Diamonds and/or Spinel at a time like this (or ever, really), and Connie didn’t have very good memories of that place either, so she didn’t want to go back as well, even if it was quote in quote “nicer”.

She was also the one who distrusted the Diamonds the most, particularly White, after she witnessed her ruthlessly yank out Steven’s gem. (Something still not known to the Crystal Gems. She just assumed that Steven told them and he…...had not.) Connie would not be overjoyed to see any of the former space dictators, not after all they had done to both her and Steven. 

But it’s not like the Diamonds would particularly care. If they actually remembered Connie as something greater than “that organic our precious Steven brought to Homeworld for some reason”, then that’d be a great surprise for both of them.

And as for her memories of Spinel? Well, that consisted of the heart-shaped Gem trying to destroy the planet, watching her punch Steven in the face multiple times and dangle him over the edge of her injector using a pair of binoculars, and finally leaving with the Authority like it was no biggy. The two hadn’t really interacted at all. Spinel wouldn’t even recognize Connie to begin with, which might make things...difficult. But she did know that the noodle-like Gem wouldn’t do anything to her without Steven letting it happen, so at least there was no danger from that side of things. Just redundancy and irritation.

‘I’m still not sure if we should go…’ Steven said.

‘I get what you mean.” Connie agreed. “But there’s a small part of me that doesn’t think Jasper was telling the truth. I feel like she’d say anything to make us leave by that point. I mean, come on. The magical Homeworld archives that hold every single scrap of information we could ever want to know and you, a member of the ruling class, haven't heard about it before now? It’s all a little fishy if you ask me.’

‘I know. It does seem kind of suspicious. But maybe I didn’t know because I never had a reason to know in the first place.’ Steven pondered. ‘I just told the Diamonds how to make the gem empire better for everyone and they did it. And now I think they’re bettering themselves as well. After I got them to help the corrupted Gems and stop making colonies, I never really needed to know anything about ancient Gem secrets like I did in the old days...until now. I never knew because no one ever told me, and I never asked.’

Connie remained silent after this lengthy explanation before sounding like she had plopped herself onto a beanbag chair and was now sinking into it. ‘Hm. Alright, let’s assume you’re wrong, it’s not there, and Jasper was lying. What then?’

‘Blue Diamond.’ Steven replied bluntly.

‘Blue Diamond?’

‘She was the one who created the lab in the first place.’ Steven explained. ‘She has to know about the Traitor. They were technically created on her orders after all. If we go to Homeworld, and the archives don’t exist, then we’ll simply ask Blue.’

‘Why can’t we just go back to your place and wait for Garnet?’ Connie asked.

‘Because I’m not sure if Garnet actually knows, despite what we thought.’ Steven sighed. ‘Yes, she had her future vision, but I’ve seen times where that’s failed her. You really think she saw what happened to the Traitor after my mom wounded them? The same person that swore to protect all life actively harming an organic? I wouldn’t be surprised if that vision failed to see what happened next, or even saw it at all.’

‘Wait...so you’re saying her vision doesn’t work all the time?’

Steven started stumbling on his words. ‘Well, uh, it’s complicated. Like, if someone does something that Garnet would never see coming, then her vision might falter for that person and she won’t be able to see their future. I don’t think Garnet saw my mom hurting the Traitor like that in her vision, so she won’t know what happened afterwards.’

‘And this is just coming up now because…?’

‘Because I don’t know all the details about it.’ Steven replied. ‘She told me a few things, but even back then I had trouble fully understanding what she was going through.’

‘Didn’t you have her future vision that one time though?’ Connie queried, remembering how pent-up Seven looked when he was telling her that tale.

‘Yeah, but nowhere near long enough for me to go through that or even understand what was going on until Garnet explained it to me.’ Steven revealed. ‘I thought I was going crazy. I kept waking up, repeating the same things over and over, it was all so...frustrating. I have trouble imagining what it’s like to have that all the time.’

‘Well, I suppose after a couple thousand years you get used to it.’ Connie suggested. ‘But anyway, your plan is really to go to the Diamonds for this? Or a Diamond?

‘Yeah…’ Steven said, sounding uncertain. ‘But it’s like I told you. I’m still not so sure I want to do this that much anymore. Even before we fought Jasper, I was beginning to have second thoughts. It kinda felt like…’

‘That this was going to take a long, long time to figure out?’ Connie deadpanned. ‘Yeah. Me too. But...even though we’re sharing the same mind, I didn't know you also felt that way. Is something wrong?’

‘I...think that fight beat the enthusiasm out of me.’ Steven whispered, sounding very much like he didn’t want to answer. ‘From Jasper not holding back against us, to her promising to kill you and almost achieving it, and then at the end, when she finally gave up the will to keep going because she was bored. Something I’ve never seen from her before. It all felt wrong.’ He huffed. ‘This wasn’t what I was hoping we’d get out of this mystery! I wanted it to be fun for both of us! Entertaining! But all it’s been is dangerous, long, and repetitive. I didn’t expect us to solve it in a day, or even a few days, but at this rate...odds are that the archives didn’t exist, Blue doesn’t remember anything, and we’ll be back to square one in an hour or so. That’s how it’s going to happen, based on our luck so far.’

‘...Okay, now I feel like we’re really sharing the same mind.’ Connie said. ‘I...we both need time to think this over.’

‘Yeah.’ Steven agreed. ‘A real long time.’

The two didn’t say anything to each other after that, instead silently deciding to figure this out back at a place they were more familiar with. Namely, Little Homeworld. The others probably wouldn’t be too surprised to see them coming back fused, but they would be after they saw the sorry state the fusion was in. So they’d just have to unfuse before the start of the path. And give up some time to allow Steven to heal all those injuries he agreed to inherit.

But soon another sight finally came into view. Not as familiar as Little Homeworld, but still one they recognized. Jasper’s cave. The fusion exited the Gem-made tree line and walked out onto the dirt ground again, getting a brief sense of deja-vu from when they first did this a half hour or so ago. Connie’s bag was lying a short distance away, half-buried in the dirt but otherwise unharmed. They grabbed it, brushed it off, and then checked it to make sure that everything was still inside.

“Journal…first-aid kit...mini defibrillator...snacks...yeah. It’s all here.” They said, before slinging it over their shoulders and then walking back towards the part of the forest that actually had a path. 

They didn’t look back.

And soon enough it was just them. Connie and Steven were no longer talking, and Stevonnie was left by themselves. Along and together. They sighed and reached around their back to grab Connie’s backpack, unzipping it and taking Buddy’s journal out. They flipped it to the page that had the mural drawing and stared at it as they walked along.

“All that...just because of this little drawing.” They scoffed. “It doesn’t matter if it was destroyed, Pearl should still have told us where the mural was. Might have been useful for later. Maybe we could have somehow tracked down who carved the original thing…”

Their eyes then fell on the small “L” that Connie had first noticed earlier, along with the few other words that Buddy had written down. Traitor, sword, and L. Not much to go on. Traitor was obvious. They knew that by now, and Buddy evidently learned about it as well. Sword? Mostly like Rose’s sword if anything. What she used to wound them. And L? There were a few characters written after it, but they were far too small and messy to read. It looked like a name, but Stevonnie wasn’t sure. It could be anything. A name, a definition, an alias, whatever. It was there, and they had no clue what it was there for. 

“Should have asked Pearl about it…” They lamented. “Although she’d probably be just as confused. Because apparently, the mural was destroyed hundreds of years before Buddy was even born! This means it obviously wasn’t, and that means it may still be out there in some form!”

Stevonnie groaned loudly and put the journal back in Connie’s bag. “Something for later I suppose.” They mumbled. “Because there’s already enough to deal with, and I know that nobody here is going to want to try and solve multiple mysteries at the same…...same……” They sighed again. “Oh wait. Too late.”

A few minutes after this, the path started to become clear of rocks and other tripping hazards, and the entrance to it, and thus little Homeworld, came swiftly into view. The fusion let out a sigh of relief as it’s two components began talking for the final time.

‘Well...guess this is it.’ Steven said. ‘We’ll just unfuse, and I’ll take all our injuries with me and then heal myself. No biggie.’

‘Why do I feel like it’s going to be the opposite of that?’ Connie asked, sounding extremely nervous about the whole thing.

‘Probably because it is.’ Steven admitted. ‘I’m not going to lie. This is going to hurt a lot. With the broken ribs, all those hits we took early on in the fight, and the exhaustion from everything...even with my healing powers, I bet I’m going to be pretty sore for a while.’

‘You don’t have to-’ Connie protested, before being cut off.

‘Yes, I do.’ Steven said. ‘I’m not letting you suffer any longer, because of something I dragged you into.’

‘You didn’t “drag me into this” Steven. You said multiple times that we could leave whenever we wanted and do this whole thing later, but I refused. If we’re gonna place blame here, then we’re both at fault.’

‘But I was the one who got us to start this adventure in the first place.’ Steven pointed out. ‘Back at the library, when I said “let’s solve the mystery of this mural!” Or something dumb like that. That’s my fault.’

‘Oh come on.’ Connie groaned, getting annoyed by how much guilt he was placing on himself yet again. ‘If you hadn’t said that, I would have eventually. Why else do you think I agreed to it back then in the first place? Because I thought it’d be fun! So I’d have suggested that we figure it out if you never did. It was practically inevitable the second we laid eyes on that page. And I bet if we found Garnet and asked her what would happen, she’d tell us the exact same thing.’

‘......Okay.’ Steven consented, although that still failed to take away any of his self-inflicted guilt. ‘Are you ready?’

‘Yeah. Let’s do it, and be ourselves again.’

Outside the mindscape, Stevonnie inhaled and exhaled multiple times as they prepared to separate. A moment later, they glowed brightly and were quickly split back into two forms with ease. Connie reformed safely on her feet with her bag and sword on her back, and although Steven did as well, the second he felt like himself again he tensed up and braced for the pain of multiple broken bones and fist-sized bruises to hit him before he had a chance to fix hit.

And waited.

And waited.

And then he waited a little bit longer.

And it took him a full thirty seconds of waiting and several confused glances from Connie for him to realize that whatever pain he was expecting wasn’t ever going to appear. He glanced around as his body went slack, like the pain would fall from the sky and hit him in the head. But nothing of the sort happened. No healing appeared to be necessary, as if all of Stevonnie’s wounds had simply vanished after they unfused.

“Okay...” Steven mumbled. “Th-this is weird. Shouldn’t I be currently writhing on the ground in agony or something?”

“Don’t look at me,” Connie said. “Do you actually...feel anything? Anything at all?”

“No,” Steven replied. “There’s nothing wrong with me. Are...are you in any pain?” He asked, worried that the defusing process might not have been as effective as he hoped. “I’m pretty sure I willed Stevonnie to hand all that stuff over to me.”

“I don’t feel anything either,” Connie said. “Are you sure you didn’t somehow heal yourself before this? When we were still fused?”

“No, and even if I did, we both would have seen it.” Steven surmised. “Come to think of it...after we turned off the pink state, it didn’t hurt them either. It’s like...all the broken bones and wounds just mended themselves the second we stopped being pink. How is that possible?”

“Well, maybe it’s a sort of natural response?” Connie suggested. “I mean, you already have magic healing tears and spit, so I don’t think it’s much of a stretch to say that your blood could be self-healing as well. I think it subconsciously fixed you up while we were going all psycho on Jasper.”

Steven suddenly felt an urge to just sit down and think about this for the next few hours, but he ignored it. Another mystery. Another to add to the list, like Stevonnie said. But this did explain a few things from the past. During his fight with Spinel, after he got his powers back, the burn wound on his arm had disappeared soon after, without him having to directly heal it. And all the things that really should have given him a skull fracture or something like it...Jasper’s head butt, Bismuth throwing that training dummy at him, falling from the sky while his powers were out of whack, Yellow stomping on during the wedding...all of these probably should have hurt him more than they did. And even though his durability was stronger than a humans and he had been using a shield to protect himself from one of those, he still had a human body, bone, flesh, and everything else. Yet he shrugged almost all of them off with ease maybe a few hours later, at most, each time. 

Maybe he really did have something in his blood causing him to heal anytime he got hurt. Just like Connie said.

But. 

Not important at the moment. He could...test that little theory out later on. For now, they should be focusing on getting back to Little Homeworld. Bismuth and Lapis were probably worried sick from them being gone for so long. Hopefully, they hadn’t gone out looking for him and Connie...worst-case scenario, they come across Jasper in the woods, or at the very least the destruction their fight had wrought.

“That's likely,” Steven said, finally responding to Connie’s suggestion. “But I think we should figure this out later. I can only imagine how worried Bismuth and Lapis are right now. We’ve been gone for a while.”

“Oh. Right.” Connie almost slapped herself in the face. “I forgot that those two knew where we had gone. I hope they didn’t call Pearl and tell her.”

Steven laughed at the mental image of the face Pearl would make if she heard where they had been. “I don’t think they did.” He said. “If they had, she’d already be here looking for us.” He cleared his throat. “But seriously, let’s get back and figure out what to do next.” 

“Right,” Connie said, and they set off to accomplish something long overdue. They both walked maybe a minute more until they entered the back entrance of Little Homeworld, appearing to be extremely disheveled and exhausted to any bystanders. Both were covered in a few full layers of dirt and dust, despite their best attempts to get most of it off them. Connie’s shirt also had a slight rip in it, unbeknownst to both her and Steven. Their hair was also mussed like they had been hit by a great wind and hadn’t bothered to undo the damage. It was like the worst case of bed hair the world had ever seen times ten.

But frankly, the two of them were too tired and focused on other things to point out each other’s sorry condition, so it went unnoticed. Especially when they saw what was waiting for them. Or technically, what wasn’t waiting for them. When they walked through the gates, there was no welcoming committee. Bismuth and Lapis were no longer standing where they had been, and no other Gems were in sight. The entire community looked like a ghost town, deserted and devoid of life.

“Umm…where is everyone?” Connie asked Steven, despite knowing that he wouldn’t have an answer. 

“I don’t know...” He said. “I mean, I didn’t expect a full-on celebration for our return, but this is kinda...creepy.” Steven took a couple of steps forward into the main plaza, with Connie closely following him. He then glanced over at the patterned circle surrounding the warp pad, which was bare and abandoned like everywhere else. He frowned and pointed it out to Connie. “Okay, now something’s definitely wrong. Because there's always at least one Gem hanging around the pad, but now nobody’s around it.”

“Maybe they're all out trying to find us,” Connie said. “Thought we were taking too long, got worried, and sent everyone out in a search party.”

“That doesn’t make any sense…” Steven said. “They wouldn’t need this many Gems for a search party, and even if they sent like half of Little Homeworld, the other half should have remained here in case we came back on our own. It’s not like they all left. It’s like they were dropped off the face of the Earth entirely.”

Connie bit her lip. “I feel like we’re making too many assumptions too fast. Let’s at least take a look around first before assuming that they’re all gone. I bet everyone’s in some-”

“THERE THEY ARE!” A sudden voice screeched, and the pair turned wide-eyed to their right to see Pearl, Amethyst, Bismuth, Lapis, Peridot, all standing together one big group, Bismuth pointing at them frantically while everyone else put on equal expressions of relief and shock. Steven and Connie barely even had time to react before Pearl rushed towards them and embraced them in a tight hug, sobbing loudly and holding on to them so hard the two felt like she was about to break their spines in half.

“Oh thank stars…” She exclaimed. “We were so worried about you two, and when we found that scrap of Connie’s shirt, I assumed the worst and-”

“Whoa whoa Pearl!” Steven said, quickly pushing himself and Connie out of her arms so she didn’t accidentally crush them to death. Pearl resisted but eventually stopped after realizing she had cut off their airflow, but still looked like she was he wilt resisting the urge to do it again. “You’re going too fast. Tell us what’s happening, but...slower this time.”

“I’m sorry,” Pearl said. “It’s just that I was so scared that Jasper might have attacked you, or...worse. When we found that puddle of blood by the tree and that scarp of Connie’s shirt, we couldn’t help but think that she had…” Pearl stopped talking after that and cupped a palm over her mouth, clearly unable to say aloud whatever she was thinking.

“Okay, that just made things more confusing,” Connie said, before surveying the group of Gems that had approached them. “Can somebody else here explain what is going on?”

Bismuth stepped forward after Connie asked this, walking past Pearl and standing directly in front of the two confused teenagers, both of them at least a foot shorter than her.

“I suppose I should explain the whole story, since I was the one who sent out the alarm in the first place.” She said, kneeling to get to their level. The other four Gems standing nearby stood silently with relieved/weary expressions, except for Pearl who was still crying while Amethyst did a terrible job of comforting her.

“You see, after you two sent after Jasper...I couldn’t help but worry.” Bismuth explained. “I waited for a while, hoping you’d get back eventually, until I remembered that I didn’t have to wait at all to know what was going on.”

“What are you talking about?” Steven asked. “Did you try and follow us?”

“Not exactly.” Bismuth said, shaking her head. “You see, I went to Peridot to borrow one of those spying drone things she had, but she offered something better. Shorty over there revealed that when Jasper had taken residence in that cave in the forest, she had snuck up there in the middle of the night and placed hidden cameras on a bunch of trees, which allowed her to see and hear whatever was going on. She did say that most of them cut off at random intervals or something, which led to a...dramatic decrease in surveillance effectiveness, I think she called it. Something weird like that.”

“Yeah...that would be Jasper tearing the forest to shreds. She’s leveled like three whole acres of trees up there.” Connie revealed. “But more importantly, you had cameras on her the whole time? Doesn’t that mean…” Her eyes suddenly went wide and she shook her head. “...Give us a minute.” She said, and Connie grabbed Steven’s arm and led him a short distance away from the group, but not far enough that they’d try to follow. 

“What is it?” He asked, looking back to make sure that they were fully out of earshot.

“Something bad,” Connie said. “Bismuth said that Peridot’s been spying on Jasper ever since she started living in that cave. That means she’s been keeping an eye on her for years. Don’t you think that means she knows about your fighting sessions? I feel like she’d have to know, right?”

Steven suddenly found himself frozen on the spot, because Connie was absolutely right. If Peridot had been keeping tabs on Jasper and watching her every move, then there was no way she wasn’t aware of his occasional brawls with the Quartz. But if that was true, then Peridot should have asked him about it months earlier. Not to mention the other Gems certainly would have intervened.

So did Jasper destroy all the cameras? No, Peridot would have replaced them instantly. Better-build, and “Quartz proof” as she’d probably put it. Peridot wouldn’t simply give up. She had to have seen the fights! Or heard them at least! Was Bismuth lying for some reason or-

‘No. Stop.’ Steven thought, desperately trying to keep his composure. ‘Whatever’s going on, they don’t know. If they knew, they’d have confronted you about it already, and they haven’t. That much is obvious. No one knows except me, Jasper, and...now Connie.’ He winced. ‘Crap. I still need to find some way to convince her not to tell them.’ He glanced over at the girl, who herself was looking back at the group of Gems, waiting for them to finish their conversation. ‘Shouldn’t be too hard with everything else going on…’

“They haven’t asked.” Steven finally replied. “I don’t think they know. Somehow, Peridot doesn’t know and neither do they.”

“Are you sure?”

“Positive,” Steven said. “There’s no way she wouldn’t have told them if she found out. And there’s no way they wouldn’t have asked me if they found out. So yeah. For whatever reason, you, me, and Jasper are the only ones that know.”

“Okay…” Connie said with uncertainty, before shaking that feeling off. “We should get back to them though. But remember, you still owe me an explanation for those sessions and what exactly you’re doing. We’re not done with that.”

“Just...letting off some steam,” Steven said.

“Yeah, but that’s not the full truth,” Connie said, before sighing. “Listen, we can argue about all this later.” She turned around and started to walk back toward the group. “Come on. They owe us an explanation too, and judging by the look on their faces, I’m betting we owe them one as well.”

Steven couldn’t argue with that. The two of them strolled over and Amethyst had to hold Pearl back before she hugged them again and crushed them for real this time. The pair were surrounded again, almost like a protective circle. Bismuth took front and center while they were flanked on both sides by Lapis, Pearl and Amethyst while Peridot took up the rear. I’m not time at all, they were trapped.

It was then that Steven realized that they were making a protective circle around them. But to protect them from what? Jasper? If Pearl’s earlier dialogue was anything to go by, then it definitely seemed that way. But why…?

Maybe it was just best to sit and listen.

“So…” Connie said. “What happened after you went to Peridot? If we’re jumping right back into the story, that is.”

“Hold on, first I wanna know what you two were talking about over there.” Bismuth said. “Because if you were coming up with some alternate explanation as to what happened, we’ll see right through it.”

“Why would we do that?” Steven asked, even though something like that is exactly what he’d do.

“Because you’ve been gone for hours and you probably did a bunch of crazy stuff that you don’t want us knowing about!” Amethyst blurted out. “Not to mention whatever it was, it messed you two up pretty bad, considering what we found.”

“What...did you find again?” Connie asked, worrying that they might have dropped something vital.

“A scarp of your shirt and a small puddle of blood. Fresh, according to Peridot” Lapis said. “So when we didn’t find anything else, we automatically assumed the worst, especially considering that we knew where you two had gone.”

“Puddle of blood?” Steven thought aloud. “When did we start bleeding? We never...where did you find that?”

“Underneath a tree by Jasper’s cave. Same with the scrap of Connie’s shirt.” Amethyst explained. “And those two things aren’t all we found. There were wrecked trees like...everywhere, not to mention the footprints and the rocks covering the entrance to the cave…”

“You didn’t find my bag?”

“Your what?”

“My backpack,” Connie said. “If you guys went up to the cave after we...went into the woods, you should have seen my bag. It was in plain sight. There was no way you could have missed it.”

“Well, it was up there, we did,” Peridot said. “And what’s this about “going into the woods?”

“Shouldn’t you know?!” Steven exclaimed, beginning to lose his patience with the whole situation. “Okay, parts of this aren't making any sense. Peridot, you had the cameras up there, you should have seen everything that happened. What was going on with that?”

“Every camera cut out just as Bismuth arrived, as she was explaining earlier,” Peridot revealed. “I don’t know what caused it, but I believe something covered their lenses, as I still had audio.”

“Probably from all that dirt being kicked up…” Steven mumbled. “But what did you get from the audio?” 

“Not much.” Bismuth said. “By the time I got to Peridot, you and Connie were too far away from the camera for us to hear anything you were saying. But we did pick up something that actually made me sound the alarm in the first place so we could go out looking for you.”

“And that was…?”

Peridot pulled a small audio device seemingly out of nowhere and pressed a small button. Sounds started blurted out, muffled and incomprehensible, but soon a voice rang out that was audible and something Steven recognized immediately.

“Universe!” It said, and Steven’s eyes widened. That was Jasper’s voice. And he knew exactly what she was going to say next. “When I get my hands on you, I’m going to make you watch me tear that human into a thousand pieces!”

Steven and Connie flinched away from the device, and another silent sob came out of Pearl. Yeah. This definitely explained what everyone was so worried about. Because after the blood puddle, and the scrap of shirt, they all thought that Jasper had killed Connie and possibly kidnapped Steven. 

But that was the only thing it explained unfortunately

“Oh…” Connie said guiltily. “Yeah, I remember that.”

“And did she actually try to do that?” Bismuth asked.

“...In one way or another.” Connie said, still able to feel the pain from Jasper’s foot crushing their chest. Bismuth didn’t look convinced however, and pressed on.

“But did she-”

“Yes,” Connie said. “Yeah, she was trying to kill me. And she almost did multiple times.”

The bulky gem’s gaze darkened and she growled at this reveal, making everyone instinctively take a step away from her. Bismuth looked in the direction of the forest and shapeshifted one of her hands into a pickaxe. “When I get my hands on her, I am going to make her pay tenfold for everything she put you-”

“Wait,” Amethyst said, wanting to prevent Bismuth from making any sudden rash decisions. (Particularly one that would result in the death of her sister, even if they weren’t on the best of terms.) “Why did she try to do that in the first place? What made her so mad that she’d try to kill you with Steven standing right there?”

Both Steven and Connie simultaneously got expressions of pure fear as their brains registered Amethyst’s question, Steven in particular. This was it. They’d have to admit that they fought Jasper in exchange for information about the Traitor, a secret that Steven inexplicably thought he could keep hidden from them. The only person benefiting from this would be Jasper, as it’d reveal that she never attacked them unprovoked. (Well, except for when she first arrived, but that was a whole other matter.) But rather, that they agreed for it to happen in the first place. Pearl’s reaction he could already see, nothing short of more sobbing and frantic questions about why they thought that was a good idea. Amethyst might go into shock, while Lapis, Bismuth, and Peridot would stare at the two of them like they had just escaped from a mental hospital, straitjacket and all.

And it’s not like lying was an option. The look on Connie’s face told Steven that she was struggling to not just blurt it out and get it over with, so there was no way she’d be able to go along with whatever fib he told them. 

So...wait. Steven looked over Amethyst’s shoulder and saw a possible way out of this. The warp pad. It was right there. Maybe he could grab Connie and...no, the Gems were surrounding him on all sides. If he tried to run, he wouldn’t make it a few feet without literally smacking into one of them. Then he’d be in real trouble. 

So he just had to tell them and hope for the best. He could see no other way out of this.

“We were...fighting Jasper.” He said, before realizing that he probably could have come up with a better opening line. However, no one seemed particularly surprised, not even Pearl.

“Yeah, we kinda already knew that,” Lapis said. “Well, we assumed only you were fighting Jasper, because…” Her eyes darted over towards Connie. “...well, that’s not important.”

“Because you thought I was dead?” Connie sighed, entirely unaffected by the blue Gem’s avoidance of the phrase. “Okay, I’ve heard enough about that in the last hour that I think I’m numb to it now. Talk about it all you want, because I don’t care. Heck, during that fight, even Steven said at one point he thought I was going to die!”

“Wha-I did not!” Steven exclaimed.

“Well, it was pretty close!” Connie said, before covering half her face with her hand and letting it go. “No, we both fought against Jasper. We fused.”

“Really? Then shouldn’t you guys have kicked her to the curb right then and there?” Amethyst asked. “I’m sure Stevonnie’s fought Jasper before, back on that beach, and if my memory’s correct, you guys won.”

“Well, this time she certainly wasn’t pulling her punches. We had a bad start straight off.” Steven said. “Although I still don’t know where that blood came from. We weren’t bleeding at any time during the fight.” Steven then paused and slowly placed his hand to his chest, clenching the star in his shirt. “At least, not externally…” He mumbled.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Bismuth asked.

“It means she might have...held us to the ground with her foot and broke a couple of our ribs,” Connie said, and with skipping a beat, Pearl gasped and stared at them in shock.

“Jasper did what to you two?!” She asked, now more angry than relieved or sad. “A-are you okay? Do we need to take you to the hospital or-”

“Pearl, it’s fine!” Steven said, stepping towards her. “I healed us both.” He lied, one that he hoped was quick enough for the others to not notice. “It just hurt a lot. We didn’t get any permanent injuries from that.”

“Okay, but where did the blood come from then?” Amethyst asked. “If you guys weren’t bleeding, and since Jasper obviously can’t bleed, then whose was it?”

“There’s no other answer we have besides “we don’t know”. Honestly.” Connie said. “I mean, maybe we got a nosebleed or something and just didn’t notice it at the time, but other than that, I can’t think of anything else.”

“That’s a mystery we can solve later,” Lapis said. “For now, keep telling us what happened.”

“Alright,” Steven said, mentally preparing himself again. “Umm...we fused into Stevonnie, and it wasn’t going well at first. She tossed us around a bit, and we got a few hits in, but they said really-”

“Wait, can we start from the very beginning?” Bismuth requested. “Why were you fighting in the first place?”

“Oh. That’s...uh, kind of a funny story…” Steven said sheepishly, before sucking his breath in. “Okay, listen. You’re not going to like the reason why. We were desperate at the time, and I didn’t know the fight would get as bad as it did back then.”

Peridot tilted her head. “How bad did it-”

“No, one thing at a time, let him finish.” Bismuth interrupted. “Steven, keep going.”

“Uh, thanks,” Steven said. “So we went up to Jasper, and she tried to attack Connie on sight because of her “no Earthlings” rule, but I stopped her before she did anything. We were...already off to a pretty bad start before I even considered a fight.”

“Hold on a minute!” Pearl said, looking at Steven like he had revealed every single one of Pink’s secrets to the world. “Steven, you knew Jasper had a “no earthlings” rule, and you brought Connie anyways? Why would you endanger her like that? If you knew Jasper would attack, then you should never have convinced her to go in the first-”

“Yes, I know, and I’m sorry! thought I could handle it before she got too close, but Jasper just appeared out of nowhere!” Steven said, throwing his arms up before lowering them back down. “I’m just glad I was fast enough…”

“Fast enough-how close did you cut it?!” Amethyst asked, now sounding just as horrified as Pearl. “You’re sounding like Connie was seconds away from dying and you only just stopped her in time?”

Steven and Connie exchanged glances, in full view of everyone else.

“...Jeez dude.” Amethyst said, shaking her head. “Wait till Connie’s parents hear about this. Not to mention the other parts of this horror story you still haven’t told us.”

“There’s actually not that much to the story,” Connie said. “We fought Jasper in exchange for information about the Traitor, and after that-”

“You WHAT?!” Someone screeched. 

Maybe all of them did. 

But either way, the secret was out, and done in the most unceremonious manner Steven could imagine. He resisted the urge to facepalm, wondering how Connie could have screwed up that bad since accidentally letting things slip was his thing.

“We can explain!” He blurted out, before anyone else had a chance to say something.

“Can you though?” Peridot asked. “Because when Bismuth came to me, and we found out that you two were fighting Jasper, I calculated every single logical reason as to why you’d be doing that. And the reason you just told us it was for...was not one of those reasons.”

“Okay, but it was like I said earlier!” Steven said. “We were desperate, and I didn’t know things would get that bad.”

“How bad did things get?” Peridot asked again, now that Bismuth (and nobody else frankly) cared anymore about random changes in the topic at hand.

Steven made a face like he had just been punched in the gut. “Uh…well…”

“It was pretty bad,” Connie said, answering for him. “I can’t even remember how many times we almost died. Seven something maybe?”

“That’s an exaggeration.” Steven said, giving her a look that said, “Stop telling them everything”, which Connie promptly ignored.

“Not according to what I remember.” She countered.

Steven huffed. “We were fused at the time, we should have the same sets of-”

“Hey!” Bismuth said, metaphorically stepping between them. “Before we start a full-blown argument about something else entirely, would one of you mind telling why you thought fighting Jasper was a good way to get information? And an answer that’s a bit more descriptive than “we were desperate” this time please.”

“I don’t know what else to tell you,” Steven said. “We both felt like we had to know what Jasper knew. I mean, she’s in the mural! She was there! After Pearl, there was no better choice!”

“What about Garnet?” Peridot asked. “She participated in that war as well. Why didn’t you query her with this?”

“She wasn’t available at the time, and we...didn’t want to wait?” Steven shrugged. “And we weren’t sure that she would know anything to begin with, considering just how much my mom wanted to keep the Traitor a secret. I mean, she even put that gag order on Pearl…”

“Even so, you still should have waited for her,” Pearl said. “Not recklessly gone after Jasper like that and fought her in exchange for helping you with this trivial little investigation!”

“Yeah.” Amethyst agreed. “Like, I’ve been filled in on everything now, and did you guys even learn something? What did she tell you?”

“Uh...she told us that there was information about them on Homeworld, in its archives,” Steven said. “And...she also laughed when I mentioned that mom had “wounded” the Traitor. I don’t know what that was about.”

“She was probably amused by the fact that you two thought she’d actually spill everything she knew,” Pearl said quickly. “And if you think we’re going to let you go to Homeworld after all that, then-”

“We’re not going, we’ve been through enough already,” Connie said, deciding for both her and Steven. “If we do go to Homeworld for this, it’ll be another day.”

“Good, because Steven, we’re going right back home to the Temple after this discussion and having another one,” Pearl said. “And Connie, in the meantime we’ll take you home and tell your parents what happened.”

“Actually...is it okay if you don’t?” Connie asked, earning a surprised look from Pearl. “If they find out how much danger I was in back there, they’ll never let me see you or Steven again. Or at least for a long time.”

“I can’t promise that,” Pearl said. “But…” She thought about the possibility of never being allowed near her favorite student again, the same person Garnet said Steven was fated to be with, and bring happiness to. It almost brought a scowl to her face. “...I’ll see if I can tone things down a bit. For your sake and ours. The last thing I want is for your parents to lose trust in us again.”

“Thank you.” Connie breathed, and Pearl nodded before turning back to Steven. 

“Now Steven…” She said. “Could you-”

“Actually, can I ask a question now?” Steven requested. “I know you’re all still mad at me for doing that, but I still have no idea what you’ve been doing, or why you didn’t run into us while we were fighting. And another thing, where is everyone? Did you send them all out searching for us?”

“Of course!” Bismuth said. “We thought Jasper kidnapped you and ran away!” She glanced over to Connie. “After killing a fellow Crystal Gem! All hands on deck! There was no way we were letting her escape, not after what we thought we just lost. You should have seen how Pearl reacted when we first told her what we found…”

Steven gulped, once again realizing just how frightened everyone must have been because of a few mistaken assumptions. It almost made him feel dirty. Like he had rolled around in a mud puddle and made an absolute mess, but everyone else was responsible for cleaning it up.

“I’m sorry…” He said, tears starting to form in the edges of his eyes. Normally something like this would make him turn pink, but all the thoughts resurfacing that his best friend had almost died because of his actions combined with the reprimanding from the Gems were beginning to affect him on the opposite side of the emotional spectrum. “I didn’t mean to do any of that. I-I just…just…...”

Bismuth could see that Steven was seconds away from breaking down at what he did, so she sighed and put her hand on his shoulder. “It’s okay.” She said, wishing that Pearl was in a proper state to do this instead of her. “You just freaked everyone out for a while there. So...why don’t you calm down, and we can talk the rest of this out normally. No yelling, no interruptions, just us. How’s that sound?”

Steven wiped his eyes and nodded, giving several of the Gems present deja-vu of the years before where he was still a little kid, crying constantly instead of blowing things up every time someone used a slightly higher-than-normal voice.

“Okay…” Steven sniffled. “But...where is everyone else then?”

“Probably still out searching for you two,” Peridot claimed, before pulling her tablet out of nowhere and tapping it repeatedly. “I’m not needed for this anymore. I’m going to go back to my communications setup and alert the search parties to pull back. They’re not needed anymore either.”

Peridot then walked away, and Steven was suddenly a bit more grateful at having one less pair of eyes fixed on him like a deer in headlights.

“Um…” He hummed, as the rest watched Peridot disappear around a corner. “When you guys went up to the cave…no, actually, I should be asking how many Gems you brought up there originally. Did you guys fan out at first, or was it just a few to start?”

“The latter,” Lapis said. “Only me and Bismuth in fact. After she heard that audio from Peridot’s camera, both of us rushed up there and we found…” Lapis paused as if she was trying to find a proper word choice. “...well, you know what we found, and so we rushed back here and that’s when Bismuth started the alarm to start the hunt for you two.”

“There’s something I still don’t get,” Connie said. “Where the blood and the scrap of my shirt came from. I’m pretty sure my shirt isn’t ripped!” She lifted her arms and did a 180. “Are there any tears in my clothes?”

“Yeah,” Amethyst replied dryly.

“W-what?” Connie said, clearly not expecting or hoping for the answer to be “yes.”

“Right here,” Amethyst said, stepping closer and pointing at the girl’s back. “There's a big part missing on your lower back. And it’s really noticeable by the way.”

“What?!” Connie repeated. “Ah, my mom is going to kill me for this! This was a really expensive shirt!”

“And yet you agreed to fight Jasper in it…?” Amethyst asked, confused at Connie’s actions, who was evidently taken aback by this comment.

“I...forgot about it at the moment.” She said, although even Connie herself wasn’t sure if that was a lie or the truth. “Alright. Maybe I can fix it. Do you guys still have that scrap?”

“It’s right here,” Pearl said, before her Gemstone glowed and produced the small piece of fabric. “I was planning to give it to your parents, but now I suppose it might be possible to sew it back on. I could make it seem like it was never damaged in the first place!”

“Can we please do that right now?” Connie asked, desperate to have it fixed before she had to head home. “Steven can explain everything, but I’m on a curfew, and I can’t have them seeing this rip.” Connie gulped and shifted in place. “Please Pearl?”

Pearl, although hesitant not to leave the discussion at a time like this, couldn’t resist the pleading look from the eyes of her student. She emitted a soft sigh and nodded. “Of course.” She replied. “Let’s go somewhere a bit more private. It’s hard for me to concentrate with everyone standing nearby like this…”

Connie started babbling out dozens of thank yous, but by then Pearl was already walking away and turning a corner, forcing the girl to follow. A few seconds later, they had vanished just like Peridot, and now only Steven, Lapis, Amethyst, and Bismuth were left. With Connie gone, Steven felt like the equivalent of the third wheel, preparing himself for the incoming conversation with the three gems. Because in his eyes, there was really nothing to look forward to.

But at that moment, watching them go like that, a part of his mind that he had worked so hard to get rid of returned. And with Connie gone and thus unable to help him with it, this feeling took front and center.

His fears.

His fears of being abandoned...and forced to watch everyone leave him behind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, while they were trouncing about the forest, things were going pretty bad in Little Homeworld. But the next couple of chapters will veer away from their investigation for a bit and dive into the mental state of the two, particularly Steven and how all this and everything before it has been affecting him. Lots of complications.


	10. Outburst

Of all the things Connie expected to do today, getting a part of her shirt sewed back on after having it torn off because of a fight she had while fused with her boyfriend against a raging semi-corrupted war Gem trying to murder her…was not one of them.

But it’s not like she was complaining. 

At least not out loud, right in front of Pearl. She could do plenty of that in her spare time and when she was with Steven. Because he’d listen to that kind of stuff. _Really_ listen, like he had been earlier. And yes, while Pearl would too, maybe even _better_ than him, she didn’t want to explain to the jacket-bound gem about all the different ways she almost bit it today. Pearl was crying hard enough earlier, and Connie couldn’t bear to see her go through that again. It was too painful. Figuratively for her and literally for the other side.

So now she was here, sitting in silence inside one of Little Homeworld’s many buildings, while Pearl sewed up her shirt a few feet away. The old-fashioned way too, with a needle and thread and everything. Pearl thankfully had another shirt for her to put on in the meanwhile (much to Connie’s relief, even if the new shirt had a rather...odd color scheme), so that saved Connie the embarrassment of having to cover herself with a sheet or cloth or anything of the sort.

But even though it was just them, the two hadn’t been saying much to each other. After Pearl took the shirt and got to work on reattaching the missing piece, they hadn’t exchanged a single word. Connie suspected that Pearl thought the girl might need some time/space alone after the several near-death experiences she had only an hour or so ago, as the Gem knew that most humans who went through those kinds of situations usually ended up going into shock.

Connie hadn’t, but if Pearl didn’t want to talk, then she wasn’t going to stop her. Besides, she _did_ need some alone time. To think. How close _had_ she been to getting killed back there? Seconds away, at the most. And if Jasper hadn’t taken her time and enjoyed it…

She didn’t want to think about it. The implications for herself, as well as for what her parents might do, or even worse, _say_ to Steven and the Gems afterward frankly disturbed her. Because she had been lying earlier, when Lapis started stuttering. She _wasn’t_ okay with everyone just casually talking about her almost-death. But she knew that if she pretended she was it would move the conversation along faster, so she told a fib and convinced them all to say whatever they wanted.

And now another question trickled into her thoughts. Could this have been avoided? Well, yes, obviously, Steven said multiple times that she could leave whenever she wanted and he wouldn’t mind, but was it really avoidable _after_ that? When they were actually facing down Jasper? Talking to the Quartz like that, without any fear while acting like she hadn’t almost gotten her skull crushed five seconds ago, was nerve-racking, to say the least. Connie knew she wasn’t anything _close_ to a match for the war Gem, but she stood up for herself anyways. Jasper has called her pet, human, and even referred to her by her real name before switching to her more derogatory terms, but it hadn’t affected Connie in the slightest. Only Steven was annoyed, but as she said, the girl had grown used to that sort of disrespect thanks to the many hours she spent on Homeworld during the White Diamond incident.

However, all that changed when Jasper gave them that offer. Fuse, fight, and I’ll tell you what you want. Connie found it extremely offensive at the time that Jasper would pull a move like that, using Stevonnie as a cheap way to loosen herself up and waste everyone’s time. Like fusion was some kind of toy to fool around with.

Although that wasn’t the real reason she was angry, was it?

Because she still had to get back to Steven. Her sword had sustained its fair share of scratches from the fight, a direct result of slamming it against Jasper’s helmet. She had to get him to heal those marks and then somehow-

Connie gasped slightly as she realized what was about to happen. Her plan, which she had carefully worked through her head earlier, was about to fall apart. Back then she thought that they could fight Jasper and Steven could heal the marks, no harm no foul. But she hadn’t accounted for the fact that Bismuth might go looking for them, or that they’d leave that shirt scrap and blood puddle behind. (And seriously, where did that even come from? They weren’t bleeding at any point during that battle.) 

And because of this, all the Gems knew about the fight, and Pearl would go mouthing off to her parents about it, which obviously meant she’d accompany Connie on her way home, preventing her from carrying the most vital part of the plan: putting her sword back where it belonged without her mother suspecting anything. Because when her parents found out she stole it without them knowing, and almost kicked the bucket because of that, they’d go on the warpath. Sure, maybe Pearl could tone it down like she said, but she was still a thief. And thievery was something her mom and dad _never_ tolerated, not even if she had the best excuse in the world.

So in short, Connie was screwed. Her only way out of this was to somehow convince Pearl to talk to her parents _later_ and let her go home by herself. They wouldn’t be home for a while, giving her a decent amount of time to put the sword back where it belonged by herself after _maybe_ having Steven repair it. Meaning-

‘No wait, that doesn’t work either!’ Connie thought. ‘Pearl may soften the story a bit for me, but she’s going to tell them about the fight either way. And it’s not like she’s going to approve of me stealing that sword and then asking her to _lie_ to my parents about it. There’s almost no way out of-’ Before she could go any further, Connie bit her lip and took a deep breath, while over to her left Pearl made the finishing touches on her shirt. 

‘Calm down.’ She told herself. ‘There might still be a way out of this. Pearl agreed to lighten the blow for _some_ reason. I just have to figure out why. It has to be more than the fact that she’s sorry for me or whatever. Maybe I could convince her to not talk about it at all if I knew.’

Connie looked over at Pearl, who had now finished patching up her shirt and was checking it for any leftover holes or openings.

‘That’s really the only choice I have here.’ She thought. ‘I don’t like doing it. It’s straight-up manipulation. But if I want to keep seeing Steven, and anyone else besides my parents for a couple of months, I have to do it. I can’t spend any more excess time with those books. It’s driving me crazy.’

“Alright, all done,” Pearl announced, picking up the shirt and dusting it off. “I’m finished, Connie. Now, if you want, I can wait outside while you'd prefer to put your old shirt on again, but if you want to keep the one I gave you, that’s also fine. After that, I think you and I need to have a...bit of a talk about what happened. I know I said I’d take you home, but I want to hear the whole story from your perspective first. Is that okay?”

“It's okay,” Connie said, before grinning widely. ‘Perfect.’ She thought. ‘I was hoping she’d say something like that. It gives us a perfect opportunity to talk. Now while she’s getting all that information out of me, I can hopefully get some out of her.’ Connie then internally looked at herself with an expression of disgust, horrified that she was taking it this far with the manipulation. But she reminded herself again what she was still doing this for. Fewer books. Less insanity. More time with her friends and more time spent outside of that house. All for the greater good.

“Perfect,” Pearl said. “So would you like to put your old shirt in again, or keep that one?”

“I’ll keep this one,” Connie said, if only because it was a much nicer shirt than most of the ones she already had. She stretched her arms out, her joints cracking along the way, and laid flat on her back. She knew that time was of the essence and that they had more important things to discuss then what she was about to bring up. But something had been silently plaguing her for a while and now that she had the chance, she couldn’t resist speaking up about it. She didn’t know when she’d get another chance.

“Pearl?” She asked.

“Yes?” Pearl replied timidly, able to tell in Connie’s tone that whatever she was about to ask next was going to be bad.

“Is your life supposed to flash before your eyes before you die?”

Pearl’s initial reaction to this question was to suck her breath in a bit, even if she didn’t need to breathe. She knew why Connie was asking this after all. Fighting Jasper, even while fused as Stevonnie, must have been an extremely life-harrowing experience. Pearl only had the displeasure of doing something like that once before, and only survived because the Quartz wasn't used to her fighting style, along with the fact that she spent most of that fight dodging attacks instead of dealing them out.

But this fight was completely different than the one Steven and Connie had. Pearl’s was on a battlefield with hundreds of other Gems around, but _their_ fight had been in a desolate forest, where Jasper could take her sweet time tearing them apart. And she almost certainly did. Jasper was never one to not take an opportunity to lengthen a fight. It explained why they had been gone for so long. Because Jasper _wanted_ them to be. And now with Connie’s query of her life flashing before her eyes…

Pearl could only hope that whatever happened didn’t give the poor girl PTSD. And if talking about it helped in any way, then she’d be more than happy to comply. But honestly, of course. Because right now, she didn’t know exactly what to say in response to this question. She had heard the human phrase before and knew what it meant, but had never personally experienced it for herself.

“I’m not sure.” She said. “That’s never happened to me, so I can’t quite say. Why? Did it happen to you?”

“No,” Connie said, her voice monotone. “I was just...wondering if it was supposed to. Because I had been expecting it to happen up there, but it never did. It didn’t happen when Jasper first appeared and tried to crush my head, or when she started screaming about how she was going to kill me, or even when we were on the ground and she had her foot on our chest and broke a couple of ribs.”

Connie sighed and kicked her legs up into the air.

“ _It never happened._ ” She repeated. “And I didn’t know how to feel about that. I wasn’t sure if my mind thought I wasn’t actually going to die, or if the fear was just clouding everything else and refusing to let it go on. Because that's all I felt. Fear. Just...fear.” The girl sat up and wiped her eyes free of the tears that were now dripping down her face. “For me. For Steven. For everyone when they discovered what had happened to us both. What would happen then? What would the Diamonds do when they found out? Blame everyone, go back to their old ways, and try to destroy the Earth again?”

She spread her arms outward and glanced towards the sky.

“I think I was actually more afraid for _you_ guys than myself! And Steven...Steven was terrified. But differently. He wasn’t scared for you or himself. He was scared for _me_ and me alone. Nothing else. He was so desperate, trying so hard to get Jasper off us that he broke down crying inside the fusion world. And when I mentioned earlier that even he said that he thought it was going to die...I wasn’t kidding. He almost said that, in a way. And he sounded so scared and worried for me and I...don't know how to feel about that either.”

Connie got up and started pacing around, oblivious to everything else besides what she was speaking about, like a machine performing a single function without caring for the environment around it.

“On one hand, it’s nice that even in a situation like that, he still cares more about me than his own safety.” She stated. “Because it feels so much like Steven, you know? Always putting others before himself. It reminded me of how he used to act in the days when we didn’t even have to worry about stuff like Jasper. Unlike now, when he seemed more...I don’t know how to describe it.” Connie put her hand to her forehead and let out a sigh. “But he was different. Like he was hiding something that he didn’t, or _couldn’t_ talk about. And I know he’s been going to that therapist, and that most of his problems are none of my concern, but now I’m worried!”

She turned and faced Pearl without really seeing her, only knowing that she was there. An outline was all she saw as she droned on about Steven’s problems.

“Because when we were fused, something...happened. He won’t like me talking about it, but I don’t care. Someone has to know.” Connie hollered. “It was when Jasper was pinning us to the ground and we couldn’t do anything. Steven was freaking out, I was freaking out, and Stevonnie was freaking out. And sorry for the repetition Pearl, but that’s the best way I can describe it.” She apologized. “I thought we were out of options and that the end was coming again. With still no life flashing before our eyes like I said earlier. More fear. That’s all that was there. And then I remembered something Jasper said earlier. About this “pink form” that Steven has that makes him a lot stronger. I convinced him to let us try it, and we did, and it worked. It was smooth-sailing from then on. Jasper couldn’t lay a finger on us, and we beat her with ease. Well, mostly.”

“But…” Connie continued, closing her eyes as another painful memory came to light. “I felt something else while we were doing that. Steven doesn’t know I felt it because I never told him, and I made sure to hide it well. That pink form wasn’t like some dumb power-up thing from a tv show that can be activated with no repercussions. It’s powered by every single negative emotion he had. Anger towards Jasper for almost killing me, fear for my life ending so abruptly, but most especially... _hatred_. Hatred for _himself_ in particular. He hated himself so much because of this. He believed it was all his fault.”

Connie backed away and started getting tears in her eyes again. “I don’t know what he’s been feeling before this, or if this self-hatred he has had been persisting for a while. But it was there during that fight. And it was the main emotion that fueled that pink form. I saw my mom's face on Jasper during that, because I was angry at her for making me do all those studies and never letting me leave the house.”

Connie then started twiddling her thumbs and finally revealed the bombshell revelation she had realized only a moment ago. 

“But Steven...I think Steven saw his reflection. He saw...himself.” 

After saying this, Connie looked over at Pearl, who had completely frozen in place after the girl’s descriptions f a few of the fight’s most prevalent events and Steven’s horrible mental state. Tears were forming in her eyes and her hands were clasped over her mouth, shocked at the information that had been let loose. Connie internally cursed herself for revealing so much so fast before getting up and rushing over to her in an instant, checking to see if the Gem was alright.

“I-I’m sorry!” She stuttered. “Did I say something wrong? I didn’t mean to ramble on like that! I only wanted to-”

Without warning, Pearl leaned forward and captured Connie in another hug, making her flinch in surprise.

“Uh...Pearl?” Connie asked, taken aback by the sudden action. “Are you-”

“Please don’t do _anything_ like that again,” Pearl begged, sounding like she was seconds away from full-on sobbing. “Don’t ever go near Jasper again without one of us coming along, and don’t fuse without letting us know either. Not until we say it’s okay.”

“Why...why wouldn’t we be able to fuse?” Connie asked, pushing away from the Gem so she could get a better look at Pearl’s face. Her cheeks were stained a light blue color as tears streamed down her cheeks, and Connie could tell that she had been crying for a while, maybe even since the beginning of her story. “I-is there something wrong with it?”

“That’s what I’m afraid of,” Pearl said, running a hand over her hair. “I knew...we all knew Steven was going through a lot, and that his therapist was helping him through it. But now I’m not sure. If what you said is true, it’s more like that therapy only worsened his mental state!” She wailed. “I didn’t know that he hated himself, or that he started blaming everything on-”

“Pearl, that’s not what I said!” Connie blurted out, unable to watch the pale Gem continue having a breakdown. “He blamed himself for me getting in that situation! I don’t think it extended beyond that!”

Pearl grabbed Connie by her shoulders and looked her dead in the eyes. “But I’m worried that’s not true!” She said, before wiping some of her tears away, only for a dozen more to take their place. “What else did you feel while you were fused? What other emotions did you get from him?”

“Uh...that was mostly it,” Connie said. “It was mostly negative emotions the whole time. Any positive emotions Stevonnie had were filtered from me, and the fusion world was constantly falling apart because of it.” She gulped. “Earlier I thought it was because of Jasper continuously trying to kill us that prevented us from having a stable fusion, but now...I think it was a clash of our emotions. Stevonnie couldn’t take it, and only when we came together again and those emotions kinda coexisted were we actually able to fight back. It was all so...frustrating at the time, but I never realized just how much it actually might have meant.”

Pearl turned around and clasped her Gem with her hand like it was hurting her. “Connie.” She said. “This is extremely important. Did Steven _tell_ you about anything in particular that stood out?”

“Uh…” Connie said. Where could she even begin? So much about him had been revealed to her in the past hour. Him going pink, the severity of his mental problems, his sessions with Jasper-

‘Wait.’ She thought. ‘T-that might be a good place to start. All those times he fought her to relieve stress. And I know Steven, you asked me not to tell anyone about this, but I’m sorry. I have to break that promise. I can’t keep it a secret if it means you might suffer more in the process. Pearl’s reaction is telling me a lot more than you did.

“There was something I learned. Although he didn’t tell me, I just figured it out on my own.” Connie said. “Today...wasn’t the first time he fought Jasper since she got uncorrupted.”

“It wasn’t?” Pearl asked, although the reveal didn’t seem to surprise her as much as Connie thought, as if she had already suspected it was happening beforehand.

“Yeah,” Connie said. “I don’t know for how long, but at least for a few months Steven has been periodically visiting Jasper and fighting her in what he calls “sessions.” I think he does it to relieve stress, sort of like a rage room?” She guessed. “He did ask me to keep it to myself, but after seeing everything else and your reaction...I couldn’t.”

“I understand,” Pearl said, her voice shaking only _slightly_ less now, as if this fact was a comfort rather than a heartache. “But you’re saying he’s been fighting her to relieve stress?”

“Yeah,” Connie said, shaking her head. “I know. It’s crazy. He shouldn’t be going anywhere near her. She’s a borderline psychopath, and I’m thinking that you guys should install a fence or something around her territory so some random hiker doesn’t go stumbling into it.” Connie gripped her arms. “Because she’s definitely not in the mood to show mercy to anyone…”

“We’ll take care of that when the opportunity presents itself,” Pearl said. “But...oh Steven. How is fighting her helping him? Wouldn’t that make his life _more_ stressful? Isn’t he scared that one day she’ll actually hurt him?”

“Maybe she did already, and we never knew because he healed himself,” Connie said. “Because she wasn’t holding back against Stevonnie, and I’m betting she was the exact same when she fought Steven.”

Pearl huffed/wailed again at the thought of Steven willingly going out into the woods to risk his life and fight the Quartz soldier like it was some kind of game, a friendly match between players. She wasn’t about to let this go on. Not after today. If it was up to her, Jasper would never see the light of the sun ever _again_.

“Once we take you home, I’m going to have to have a serious discussion with him. Along with Garnet.” Pearl said. “I’m not going to allow him to continue brawling with Jasper like that.”

“Actually...that’s not needed,” Connie said. “Jasper doesn’t want anything to do with him anymore. She told him to never come back. I think she’s pretty salty at the way her fight with us ended. We kinda...beat her pretty badly by the end.”

“...Even if that’s true…” Pearl said, keeping a straight face but failing to hide her relief at this news. “We still need to talk with him about this. Along with everything else he did. Putting you in danger like that was one of the most reckless things he’s ever done. And Steven even knew that Jasper had a no Earthlings rule! Did he warn you about that beforehand?”

“Y-yeah.” Connie stuttered, remembering their previous conversation word for word. “He promised me that he’d take care of it, and I guess he did, technically. Even if his “handling” of it was a little too late for comfort.”

“Ugh, I can’t believe this,” Pearl exclaimed, switching from panicked/scared to irritated in a second. “Does he even know his actions put us through? I should have never let you two leave back at the Temple.” She repeated. “Or better yet, I should have stopped you the second Steven mentioned that going to Jasper was a possibility.”

“Pearl, you couldn’t have known that this is what would happen,” Connie reassured. “I don’t think Steven even knew. He kinda seemed to be making it up as he went along.”

“Yes, well, that still doesn’t excuse any of it. But Connie...do you blame him for what happened?” Pearl asked, making the girl flinch in response. For whatever reason, that question cut deep. She was about to open her mouth, but Pearl spoke again, explaining the reasoning behind her asking that. “I love him.” She said. “I love him more than he can imagine, as does Garnet, and Amethyst, and Greg, and almost everyone else we know. We all care for him with every ounce of our being. But his actions today...if what I heard was the truth, they put you both in more danger than either of you should ever have to be in. And to me, that's inexcusable, even for Steven. I’m not even sure how we’d punish him for this.”

“Do...do _you_ blame him for what happened?” Connie asked, not fully sure of the answer herself.

“I do,” Pearl said sadly, as if it hurt her to say it. “And I hate the fact that that’s the way it has to be. But no matter what way I look at it, I don’t see a way in which he’s _not_ responsible based on what you’ve told me.”

“But he isn’t,” Connie mumbled, causing Pearl to gaze at her in shock. “I feel like it’s more my fault.”

“Connie, that’s ridiculous!” Pearl said. “Steven…” She briefly put one of her hands over her mouth, the amount of self-loathing she had towards herself due to the words coming out of her mouth reaching exponentially higher levels with each syllable. “Steven was the one who suggested you two go to Jasper. Back at the Temple, he told me himself, and you went because of that.”

“And you really think he’s to blame because of that one little thing?!” Connie exclaimed. “That wasn’t his fault! Of _course_ we would go to Jasper! She was the only other Gem in the mural we could talk to besides _you!_ If he hadn’t suggested we go to Jasper then I eventually would!”

Pearl stopped short. “Connie, I don’t think you’d ever-”

“Yes, I would,” Connie said. “I know you don’t want to believe that I’d suggest something so insane and risky. But there’s a reason I went along with it in the first place, and _insisted_ we continue even after he told me several times that we didn’t have to go to Jasper, and that we could stay at the Temple and do it all later!” She ranted, before briefly catching her breath. Pearl stared at her wide-eyed, stupefied by the girl's claims. “Because I wanted to find out just as much as he did. About all of this. The last few months have been so boring and tiresome. I've been stuck in my room all day studying for college. Sure, it was fun at first, looking through all the different options and planning for the future, but…”

She ran her left hand over her forehead and sat down. “But it feels like I’m trapped in there. I don’t get to talk to my friends that often, and I don’t get to relax much either. My parents force _some_ of it on me, but the rest is mostly myself because they keep telling me how important it is, and I always push to try harder. And eventually, I felt myself starting to cave. I couldn’t take it anymore. I couldn’t keep pushing myself like this and act like it was something natural. I stayed up until twelve some nights, reading those textbooks under my blanket with a flashlight!” Connie yelled, now sounding like she was berating herself. She let out a flustered sigh and started tugging at her hair.

“So I stopped. I stopped doing that kind of thing, forcing every part of me to move forward for the sake of something that was still years away.” She said. “But...it was already too late. I wanted out. I wanted to have fun and hang out with Steven and...and…” She threw her hands forward, yanking a few strands of hair from her head in the process. “And live a little! That’s why I was so happy earlier today, even when we weren’t doing anything interesting! Back at the Temple, I was gonna overjoyed the whole time, except when…” She paused. “Steven chewed his lip to shreds for whatever reason…”

“Steven did what to his lip?!” Pearl exclaimed, not sure if she heard Connie correctly. The girl winced and leaned backward away from the Gem, wishing that this had come out differently. Pearl’s eyes were now desperate and as large as dinner plates, and Connie was suddenly aware that she wasn’t going to back down until she found out why Steven had harmed himself like that.

“Uh, well, while we were eating your cinnamon rolls at the Temple, Steven and I were talking, and it eventually reached a point where I mentioned how I don’t want him to lose enthusiasm for things. After that, he got real quiet and just started…biting his lip.” Connie shuddered like the idea disturbed her, but continued. “I didn’t think anything of it at first, but soon it got worse. He started to get more intense, and then he started to draw blood. I expected him to stop after that, but...he didn’t, so I started telling him too. Shouting, really.”

“And did he?” Pearl asked, physically cringing at the story like _she_ was the one having her lips torn to pieces.

“Not at first,” Connie said, before glaring at the Gem with minor suspicion. “But before I go on...I want to ask how you didn’t notice any of that. It reached a point where I yelled at him almost as loud as I could, but you didn’t even react! You were like a zombie just sitting on the couch staring at that journal. What was up with that?”

“I...I must not have been paying attention.” Pearl stuttered, not knowing what else to say. Connie made an excellent point. How _didn’t_ she notice this? Was she so concentrated on that book at that moment that she wasn’t even aware of Steven hurting himself like that? 

“Not paying attention?” Connie gawked. “We were like...ten feet away from you Pearl. Do Gems have this shutdown mode or something that I don’t know about for some reason?”

“No, there's nothing like that,” Pearl said. “Connie...I’m sorry.” She whispered. “I truly am, but I didn’t know what else to say! I was completely unaware that this happened until you told me just now.”

Connie frowned. The way Pearl was practically pleading with her to believe what she was saying did convince Connie that she was telling the truth. Besides, if Pearl had seen that, there was no way in a million days that she _wouldn’t_ have intervened. Out of all the Gems, she was easily the most protective of Steven. So if she witnessed him hurting himself like that...it’s safe to say she might have broken the sound barrier while rushing over to stop him.

But on the other hand, it didn’t make much sense. Connie literally screamed at Steven towards the end of it. Even if Pearl wasn’t paying attention, that should have snapped her out of the trance she was in. How could a person be that absorbed in something? It was ludicrous. 

But she also knew that Pearl wouldn’t ever let Steven hurt himself like that. But Pearl should have been aware of it happening nonetheless, unless she was purposely covering her ears and closing her eyes at the time, _which she wasn’t._

But after looking at Pearl, and seeing the desperate expression on her face, Connie decided that it’d be best to just drop it. For now, of course. Pearl had gone through plenty of misery today after all. What with the interrogation, her believing that her pupil was dead and her “baby” was kidnapped, and now this, she had had a pretty rough day. Connie didn’t want to make it worse, because then that’d make her _own_ day worse, and as we all know, that one is pretty high on the list of worst days ever at the moment.

“Okay.” She finally said, using a tone that made her sound exhausted. “I believe you. But I still wanna talk about this later, specifically what you were thinking about at that moment. But…” She sighed and brushed some hair out of her face. “I think I should just continue with the story for now. Get that part over with.”

Pearl sighed in relief, not even bothering to hide how glad she was that Connie had chosen to move on instead of pressing in for now. Of course, they’d get back to it later, but Pearl was still glad. Because truthfully, no answer she had would be satisfying simply because she _had_ no answer to begin with. It was like she had just shut out the entire world in that moment, and everyone and everything ceased to exist. The only thing she could compare it to was after Rose gave birth to Steven, where she entered her room and didn’t come out for weeks, even when Garnet entered it through one of the Crystal heart’s veins and pleaded with her to meet Steven. 

She did, but only after two months. Two long, endless, horribly painful months during which Pearl wished the world would swallow her up so she didn’t have to live knowing that she might never see Rose again.

It took a lot of help from Garnet to heal. Along with some from Steven himself, ironically. She hated the screaming infant at first, but after a few years or so, she started caring for him more than anything in the entire world...except for her memories of Rose of course. She made sure _those_ were intact and spotless on the daily, reliving them every moment she got.

And now she was here, 17 years later, listening to that infant’s best friend telling her about how he had unknowingly mutilated himself while she sat nearby, oblivious to the entire thing like some kind of careless idiot. Was it her fault for not paying attention? She didn’t particularly want to at that moment. After all those questions, she purposely shut Steven and Connie out, and they had paid the price for her carelessness. 

But hearing all this hurt her greater than anything had in years. Because it had always been her back then. She had always been the one to protect Steven from danger. Yes, Garnet and even Amethyst did it occasionally as well, but out of the three of them, the role as Steven’s protector was a job performed mainly by her. She saw the duty to protect him and the Gem he held as her greatest responsibility back then. If Steven died, then she’d have failed Rose, failed everyone, and failed herself. When Steven was brought to live in the Temple, even as a clueless child, he was still scarcely injured. Pearl made sure that nothing was too sharp, too blunt, or overall, too dangerous to ever make its way into his hands. Not until he was ready. And even when Garnet said he was, Pearl was still cautious as could be.

It’s quite possible that without the convincing speech Garnet gave her, Pearl might have never believed that he was “ready”.

And maybe the events of today proved that he still wasn’t.

“Are you still listening?” Connie suddenly asked, her voice reaching through the void and snapping Pearl out of her trance. “I said I think we should get that over with. Did you hear that?”

“Yes. Yes, I did hear you.” Pearl said, before thinking to herself, ‘although I disappeared into my head a second later. Just like...earlier. Just like in the event she’s talking about right now’. Pearl felt a twinge of guilt at this realization, but stopped that guilt from growing any larger before she lost focus again. “Sorry.” She said, apologizing for the second time in the last three minutes. “I was thinking about...actually, it doesn’t matter. Let’s just-”

“Well, _I_ think it does matter if it’s important enough for you to get lost in your head over it,” Connie said. “Pearl, if you want to tell me what it is, you don’t have to hold back. I can take it. Steven was the same way with me earlier when I didn’t want to tell him about my problems at home. Whatever you have to say or are worried about, I’ll understand.”

‘But I don’t _want_ to tell you about it at all, and that’s the problem!’ Pearl thought, but of course, she couldn’t say that. It’d only serve to make Connie more suspicious. Maybe she should just take her home right now and go talk with Steven-

‘No, I can’t do that.’ She thought. ‘It would be completely unfair to Connie. And I still want to know the full details about what happened with Steven back at the Temple.’ Pearl then paused and sighed dramatically, before the self-berating attitude that had been a part of everyone’s day today appeared and forced its way into her mind. Soon she began choking up as she went over everything she just said, then over everything that had taken place in the last day. It took only five seconds in real-time, but for Pearl, it felt like a thousand years. And once she was done, the attitude was still there. Waiting, and ready to make her say what it wanted to.

‘What are you doing?’ She asked herself. ‘You shouldn’t be acting like this. Connie _should_ be going home right now. After her encounter with Jasper, she deserves to rest and get some...what did Amethyst call it? Downtime? Yes, she needs some of that. This story about what I missed can come later. Because I...I can’t be thinking like this. I’m acting selfishly, at the very least. And I promised to try and stop the habit of ever doing things like that, especially if they affected anyone else. I can’t allow myself to do this. Not again...not after…’ Pearl shuddered and waved the memory away. ‘I won’t let my actions cause anyone that much pain again.’

“Oh Connie, I’m so sorry you had to go through all this.” She said.

“You are?” Connie replied in surprise, shocking Pearl as the Gem hadn’t realized she had said that part out loud. “Well, I mean, I shouldn’t be surprised, but uh...thanks? I don’t know what to say about that.”

“You don’t have to say anything,” Pearl said, relieved that the girl hadn’t thought much of it. How did she let that one slip? “But Connie, I think I’ve heard enough.”

“Wait, just like that?” Connie asked, bewildered by the sudden turn-around. “But we haven’t even gotten to the part with-”

“Whatever it is, it can come later,” Pearl said. “I think it’s time I took you home. You deserve to relax after everything you went through, and it’s unfair for me to keep you here and interrogate you over what happened with Steven.”

‘Nononono!’ Connie thought, as sweat droplets started to form on the side of her head. ‘What the heck is this? It came out of nowhere! We can’t leave now! She’s going to tell my parents everything and then my life will be ruined! Think Maheswaran. Remember the original plan. I have to try and convince Pearl not to tell them anything.’ Connie gulped and shifted nervously, while Pearl waited for her to say something, confused by the semi-terrified expression on the girl's face. ‘Is this still full-blown manipulation against her? Yes, but it’s necessary. I have to do it for Steven. If he needs help, if he’s having problems, then I want to be there for him. No matter what!’

“Wait, Pearl, can we stay a little bit longer?” Connie blurted out, trying to think up a new plan on the spot but failing. “I...I don’t think I should leave _just_ yet.”

“Really? Why?” Pearl asked, who had expected the girl to be jumping for joy at the opportunity. To both get away from Jasper and not being forced to relive that event at the Temple. Once Pearl explained the situation to her parents (or an abridged version at least) she’d make sure that Connie never had to deal with Jasper or the trauma she gained from their encounter ever aga-

“Because I still want to check up on Steven.” Connie lied. “He’s still outside, and he won’t be happy if he hears I just left without telling him. I’d like to say goodbye before I go.”

“Oh,” Pearl said, having expected the answer to be something more...significant, at least. “Well, I suppose that’s all right. Do you need a moment to get ready?”

“Yeah,” Connie said nervously, turning around and walking over to her bag. “Give me a second. I need to make sure everything is still there.”

‘Dang it.’ Connie thought, as she pretended to go through her bag, moving around objects randomly as she imitated doing something important. ‘Everything is going wrong. I have to tell Pearl that she can’t tell my parents anything. But she’s not going to no matter _what_ my reasons are, so I can't _actually_ tell her! If I say it flat out, she’ll think I’m desperate for help and that something’s _really_ wrong at home. And if that happens, it’ll end badly for everyone, not just me.’

Connie gulped again and clenched the straps of the bag, getting wearier by every passing moment. ‘I have to come up with something and...ah, god, how many times have I ever told myself that by now? Three? Four? Five times? It doesn’t matter. If I’m going to...to...wait.’ She paused and lifted her head, no longer staring blindly at the backpack like a hypnotized chicken. ‘What's going…?’

As quickly as it started, Connie stopped her internal monologue and then started frantically glancing around, searching for the source of the sudden tightening sensation that she felt on her neck. It had appeared right after she put the bag on, but Connie thought nothing of it at first. It wasn’t bad enough to be painful, but it was definitely uncomfortable. It was almost like being underwater, only if there was no water but the lack of oxygen remained. She shook her head to try and shake it off, but instead, the feeling became stronger. In an instant, the air felt so thick that it could have been cut with a knife. And in no time at all, it grew to be nothing short of unbearable.

“D-do you feel that?” She asked, whipping around to face Pearl. “That…choking sensation?”

“Choking sensation?” Pearl repeated, and the expression on her face confirmed that whatever Connie was feeling was currently exclusive to her. “What are you talking about?”

“What am I-how can you not feel that?!” Connie shouted, her breathing now becoming much more erratic. She put her right hand to her throat and rubbed it, trying to make the pain go away, but it didn’t stop. In fact, a second later it got even _worse_ , and she had to stop herself from falling to her knees. Pearl ran over after seeing the obvious torment the girl was going through, but paused when she realized that she still didn’t know what was going on or how she could help.

“Connie! What’s happening?” She said. “Are you-”

“Need...air...” Connie gasped, now hyperventilating frantically. “Feels like I’m...choking on nothing…”

“Choking on nothing?1 Okay, just hold on, I’m coming!” Pearl said, doing her best to remain calm. She reached forward and scooped Connie up in both her arms, prompting a small noise of surprise from the girl. “I’ll get you to the hospital, and-”

“NO!” Connie yelled, pushing away from the Gem and landing flat on the ground. “You have to help Steven! Something...somethings wrong…”

Pearl started to speak again, but Connie heard none of it. Darkness started to appear on the edges of her eyes as she felt herself blacking out, the sudden lack of oxygen becoming too much for her brain to bear. But she still fought on, getting to her feet and scrambling for the door. Pearl called out to Connie, trying to get her to stop, but she ignored the cries. She had to get to Steven. She _knew_ he was in danger and-

A shrill scream suddenly rang through the air, so loud that the nearby windows vibrated and cracked and the ground shook. Connie struggled to stay on her feet, but miraculously managed. She looked in the direction of the noise and squinted, and thought she saw a wave of pink light coming towards her.

Despite the lack of air, Connie managed to wheeze a few coherent syllables, the shocking sight being presented to her practically forcing the girl to speak.

“What in-”

The explosion blew out the rest of her words.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bit of a cliffhanger there. To anyone confused, don't worry, you didn't miss anything. How that came to be will be explained in the next couple of chapters, which will focus mainly on Steven again. This one was just a little look into what Connie is feeling which we will see more of later on.


	11. Rabid

Suddenly, Steven had never felt more alone. 

No matter how many “friends” he was currently surrounded by.

But despite this fact being so obviously presented to him, he had felt strangely secluded after Connie, Pearl, and Peridot had left like leaving him behind was no big deal. Like it was _easy_ to simply abandon your friends and head elsewhere, fleeing to chase their own adventures. And yes, Steven told himself that they weren’t leaving for good like all the others, they were just going somewhere else for a while. Peridot was just checking something while Pearl was fixing up Connie's shirt. There was simply no reason for him to be overreacting, especially not like this.

But he was anyways. Because there was a small part of him that was afraid. Afraid that they’d never come back. It was foolish, he told himself. They’re not going anywhere, and even if you did, Bismuth, Lapis, and Amethyst are right here! If you tell them what you’re feeling, they’ll help you through it! You know they will! Why would they refuse to help you when you’re in need?

Steven had no answer. 

But he didn’t need one. The anxiety he got from the idea of spilling everything out like that practically assured he wasn’t going to be telling them anytime soon. Because what if _they_ left in response? For believing that he was a disappointment? 16 years old, able to face down the ruler of an intergalactic empire, yet still scared of being alone like a whining child. What a waste, they’d say. It’d be better if we were never friends with him at all! 

“Steven?”

And then he’d only have his dad left. A person he hadn’t seen in weeks. But...what did that mean? Was his father _already_ avoiding him and he just didn’t notice? Were they all part of a conspiracy, a big group dedicated to systematically abandoning him and leaving him to fend for himself, alone and trapped in Beach city while this pink form took over and wreaked havoc on everything around him?!

“Steven.”

‘No. No, they would never do that.’ He thought. ‘Leaving me all alone here? They care for me with their life! All the things they’ve done is proof enough of that? Why am I thinking like this? Where did this come from?! This is all going way too fast! It’s all so...sudden and out of nowhere!’

“Steven!”

‘Okay. Okay. Calm down. You have to calm down...’ He told himself. ‘Freaking out like this doesn’t help anyone, especially you. If these feelings really did come out of nowhere...then you should be able to send them back. Because feelings like that, the fast and frantic ones, are always self-generated. That’s what my therapist told me. You’re only trying to convince yourself of stuff that you shouldn’t Steven. So-’

“STEVEN!” A loud voice shrieked, sounding like it was being shouted an inch from his right ear. Steven almost jumped a foot in the air and turned to see Bismuth kneeling towards him, lowering herself to get to his level, with an expression that he read as her being greatly concerned for his well-being and/or hearing. The other Gems around him were similar in appearance, the looks on their faces being ones of worry for the teen. 

And in an instant, Steven knew he had screwed up big time.

“Uh...yeah?” He said sheepishly, hoping that this was the best way to respond. 

Apparently, it was, as Bismuth breathed a sigh of relief and ran her hands through her hair. _Steven’s_ relief didn’t last long though, as the anxiety building and mind-racking questions flew out of Bismuth’s mouth a moment later. The same ones he had heard dozens of times, but never got used to.

“Are you okay?” She asked. “Why didn’t you answer me?”

“What do you mean?” Steven said in response. “I was just...thinking to myself.”

“About what dude?” Amethyst interjected. “You stood there for like a minute mumbling to yourself. It was kinda freaky if I’m being honest. What were you thinking about that caused you to zone out from everything?”

Steven paused. What was he supposed to say? That he was just thinking about them and everyone else he knew being part of a conspiracy whose main goal was abandoning him, leaving him to rot in Beach city, and then going off to live out their lives without him?

Yeah, they wouldn’t receive that well. His therapist would get an earful the next time they met, and once they heard about it, they might recommend that he started taking... _medication_. Which was something that Steven was sure he couldn’t commit to. Because the amount of pills he’d have to take daily to help heal all his mental problems would probably kill him. 

What had he been through recently that they’d believe? There had to be something. What would-

Then he looked at the three Gems surrounding him and suddenly remembered how and why the group used to be twice as big. Inspiration struck and a perfectly acceptable excuse planted itself in his head.

“I was thinking about...if we could move this somewhere else.” He said sheepishly. “Peridot told us that she’ll be calling everyone back soon, and I’d rather not be here when it happens, because the second they arrived I’ll be swarmed and I feel like I’ll be really uncomfortable if that happens." Steven then played his trump card. “Especially after that fight with Jasper. I’m still reeling from the effects of that, so is it okay if-”

“Of course it’s okay.” Bismuth said, the trump card playing off in the most perfect way. “All you had to do was ask Steven. Heck, that’s probably the best option for all of us. Most everyone we sent out knows what Lapis and I found at that cave, so they’ll all freak out once they see you like us. And I...do not want to be caught in a crowd like that.” She smiled at Steven and then at the other two Gems present. “Come on. If that’s what you want Steven, we can go back to my Forge.”

Bismuth then did a 180 and walked away, while Amethyst and Lapis exchanged glances and then did the same a second later. Steven was the last to go, after rubbing his brow clear of sweat once nobody was watching him. The four of them set off, and Bismuth was smirking like nothing was wrong, Lapis and Amethyst had neutral expressions, while Steven wore a face of worry. He could feel the anxious thoughts coming back, along with all the suddenness and nonsensical worries, but he did his best to hold them off with some more positive ones.

‘See?’ He told himself. ‘Look at this! Bismuth agreed to help you without any kind of hesitation! Do you _really_ think they’d abandon you if they cared about you this much?’

‘Hmm...what about Lapis and Amethyst?’ The other side of his brain contested, which for some reason sounded nothing like him. ‘They don’t look very happy. It’s obvious. They know you weren’t thinking about going somewhere else at first. Why would you need to spend that much time contemplating over it?’

‘It doesn’t _matter_ if they don’t believe me.’ Steven shot back. ‘I’ll make them. The fact that they’re coming along in the first place instead of insisting that we stay here proves that they care even _if_ they’re aware it’s a lie.’

‘Are you sure?’ His brain asked slyly. ‘Or are they just bending to the will of Bismuth, someone they actually _trust?’_

Steven almost froze in place at this jab. ‘What are you-’

‘Think about it.’ It whispered. ‘They followed Bismuth. Do you think they would have followed you if you suggested a place and then walked away? No, they’d have pulled you back, asked what you were doing, and suggested a place of their _own_. They don’t even trust you enough to make a little decision like that.’

‘Wha-that’s not true!’ Steven claimed. ‘If I requested that we go back to the Temple, they would’ve followed me! Sure, it’s a little out of the way considering where we are now, but still! The relationship I have with them is stronger than whatever lies you tell me.’

‘Technically, they’re _your_ lies.’ His brain countered. ‘Remember, you’re talking to yourself here. I don’t even exist.’

‘...’

‘No response to that? Is it because you know it’s the truth?’

‘Why should I respond?’ Steven asked himself. ‘After all, you just said it yourself. You’re me. Maybe I should stop talking to myself and start talking to _them_ instead.’

‘Awww, your confidence is adorable.’ The Other Side cooed, making Steven clench his fists in anger. He felt his cheeks start to glow pink as the berating continued, currently untouched by the others. ‘Tell me-or rather, _us_ …’ It chuckled. ‘How we plan to accomplish that little objective? What are we going to do? Start opening up out of nowhere? Find Connie and tell her how we really feel? Ooh! Here’s a fun idea!’ It said jovially. ‘Let’s tell them about how every time we look up at the cliff overhanging the Temple, we have a horrible, irresistible, _wonderful_ urge to climb up there and jum-’ 

‘THAT’S ENOUGH!’ Steven shouted, gritting his teeth. He was now walking with such intensity that each one of his footsteps caused a small cracked indent in the ground, turning Bismuth’s hard-built pavement into miniature piles of rubble. ‘How...how _dare_ you...shut up already!’ He snapped. ‘That’s _not_ how I-’

_‘We.’_

Steven huffed. ‘That’s not how “we” think at all. I haven’t thought of doing... _that_ sort of thing ever in my life. _Never_. Not even when my problems were at their worst.’

‘Are you sure?’ It asked. 

Steven didn’t respond, but he did have an answer. No. No, he wasn't sure. He had tried to block out the past few months of mental torment, ignoring them and pretending it never happened while focusing solely on the good stuff. It hadn’t been working that well, but he had definitely shut out some of the more painful memories. For a time, it gave him some relief in his darkest moments.

But had he really been thinking about...wherever he stared up at...no. No, he wouldn’t. He hadn’t let himself sink _that_ far down. Not even after everything. Not after the Graduation ceremony. Not after cactus Steven. Not after all the times he turned pink. Like right now! He could feel he had turned pink at this very moment! Growing brighter and brighter by the-

Wait. 

Was he...did he just do it again...

‘No. Nononono!’ He thought, panicking internally and praying that the others didn’t turn around. Steven briefly cursed himself for losing control like this. Even if he had technically turned pink earlier today, purposefully doing it and accidentally doing it were two very different things. And the last time he had an accident… was two days ago. But even after two days, he was so proud of himself. He thought he had been making so much progress. But now...no.

He almost screamed in rage right then and there, before reminding himself where he was and who was surrounding him.

Steven then snapped back to attention and looked at the trio in front of him, who thankfully hadn’t yet noticed his current situation. But if they saw him now, like this, glowing like a lightbulb, then they’d know something was up. He had to remain calm. Shut it off somehow. 

‘Breathe. Just breathe.’ He thought. ‘Keep walking. If you change your pace out of nowhere, they’ll hear it and turn around to see what’s happening.’

‘Hmm…’ The Other Side hummed suddenly, making Steven’s left eye twitch out of frustration. ‘This is really bad for us. And see? This is what happens when-’

‘Doesn't matter, don’t care!’ Steven interjected. ‘I’ll take care of it. Cleanly, effectively, without any problems. I don’t need this right now. I don’t need _you_.’

‘So...you’re saying we don’t need ourselves?’ The Other Side quipped, sounding like it was rolling its eyes.

‘I......be quiet.’ Steven grumbled, unable to think of a better comeback.

‘Ouch. Our poor little soul, berating itself like this.’ It said, putting on an agonizingly fake sad tone. ‘So much conflict. So much pain. So much...confusion! So much-oh crap.’

‘Oh crap? Ugh, what is it?’ Steven scoffed. ‘What’s wrong now-’

“Steven? Why are you...pink?” Lapis’s voice asked out of nowhere, causing Steven to be thrust back into the real world and for his heart to drop into the pits of his stomach. His vision cleared and the first thing he saw was Lapis staring at him in confusion/worry, and a second later he caught sight of Amethyst and Bismuth turning around and giving him similar expressions. Sweat started to form on his head and the back of his neck as if he was in a hundred and twenty degree weather, and three pairs of eyes fell on him, all of them equally alike in terms of emotion.

“Hey...are you alright?” Bismuth asked, taking a small step towards Steven, her arm outreached in concern. “You doing okay there Steven?”

Steven didn’t answer, and his gaze instead drifted the tiniest bit towards Amethyst, awaiting and dreading her expected comment. But the purple Gem stayed silent and kept her mouth shut, almost as if she was scared to speak up.

“I...uh…” Steven started, before mentally slapping himself again. No, now was _not_ the time to start stuttering. He had to turn his pink form off first and convince them to pass it off as nothing. However, that was a near-impossible feat, considering that they were all gazing at them like they expected him to literally explode. It was like he was in the middle of a courtroom on trial for murder, and everyone knew inherently that he was guilty.

“Steven?” Bismuth repeated, inching closer to him. “Can you hear me?”

‘Say something.’ The Other Side screamed at him. ‘Say something now. Something! Anything! The first thing that pops into your head! You can’t wait! Do it before they get too suspicious!’

‘But-’

‘DEW IT!’

Steven took a deep breath and did as he was told like a trained dog, screaming the first thing that came to mind. Which, unfortunately, was not what he was hoping for.

“I REALLY LIKE COOKIE CATS!” He shouted, and then slapped both his hands over his mouth, all Pearl-style in an instant, the previously anxious expressions that had been plastering the Gems faces were replaced with ones of pure bewilderment, goggling at Steven like he was crazy.

“...What?” Bismuth asked, tilting her head at the hybrid like he had escaped from a nearby psych ward. “You...like Cookie cats? That ice-cream treat you told me about once? That’s what you want to tell us? Is this...” She glanced from side to side, as if expecting a camera crew to show up any moment and reveal this was all a prank. “...why you’re turning pink?”

“Ummm...yes!” Steven exclaimed, deciding that the only thing left at this point to do was roll with it. “Let me explain. I, uh, okay. You saw me going pink, right?”

“You’re _still_ pink.” Lapis pointed out.

“O-oh. Well, that’s kind of a new power I have!” He explained, trying not to turn bright red of embarrassment. “It’s something that activates whenever I’m feeling really...emotional?”

“Okay…” Bismuth said, nodding along to this. “But _how_ does this pink emotional power relate to those...cookie things?”

“W-well…” Steven stuttered. “A few years ago, before I met either of you…” He pointed at Lapis and Bismuth. “Those cookies were my favorite type of ice-cream. But one day the company that made them stopped making them, and I got really sad. And a few moments ago, I started thinking of that memory again, and turned pink because it reminded me that I’ll never get to eat them ever again!”

Steven then smiled sheepishly, hoping that this would be enough to curb any suspicions. If anything, Amethyst might be able to back him up. She was there that day, all those years ago. She saw how sad he was.

“So...you turned pink...and froze and place and started mumbling to yourself...because you suddenly thought of a memory of your favorite type of ice-cream getting discontinued?” Bismuth asked, raising an eyebrow at the claim.

“That’s exactly what I said, yes,” Steven affirmed. “I know it’s odd, but it’s all because I was thinking of how Connie was doing, which then lead to me thinking about the beach, and _that_ lead to me thinking about my first battle with Nephrite when she was corrupted, and _that-”_

“It’s okay, I think we got it.” Lapis chuckled, although it came out as forced rather than natural. Kind of “what the hell is going on” laugh instead of a humorous one. “But is that form dangerous? Does it hurt you at all?”

“No, it just feels weird at times,” Steven said. “As for if it’s dangerous...I guess it can be a little dangerous at times. For some reason, whenever I’m using it, my powers start going out of control.” He explained, hoping to sugar-coat this as much as possible. It’s a lot more difficult for me to use them, and sometimes they can hurt other people if they’re...standing too close when it happens.”

‘Did...did you seriously just reveal-’

‘Shut up, I’m doing a thing.’ Steven thought.

“Standing too close?” Bismuth half-asked, before looking Steven up and down and then taking a step back. “Uh...could you elaborate on that? How close is too close?”

“No, don’t worry!” Steven said, doing his best to reassure them. “It’s not something to worry about. I haven’t had an...outburst like that in months. In fact, this whole “pink state” thing is basically going away by itself.” He turned towards Amethyst. “Amethyst, you remember, right?”

“Wait, I remember what?” The Gem asked, pointing at herself like she was confused as to why Steven was speaking directly to her. “Why are you asking me? I don’t know anything about this “pink state” thing.”

Steven laughed and tried his hardest to make it sound genuine. “What are you talking about?” He snickered. “Remember when we were fused as Smoky at Funland? We had to save the people on that roller coaster and we went pink?”

“Funland?” Amethyst contemplated it for a moment, before her eyes lit up. “Oh...oh yeah! The weird thing that happened when time slowed down for some reason! I forgot about that! I honestly thought it was just like...some power that Smoky had, not us individually. I didn’t know that was back linked to you.”

Steven’s grin faltered for a second, as he started wondering if Amethyst truly understood how the powers that fusions had worked, but shook it off and kept talking. “No, we were just going really fast back then.” He corrected. “But that is a power that I have, and I had been struggling to control it for a while before that. The whole Funland incident was the first time I, or technically we were able to use it without something going wrong.”

“I mean...a couple of the roller coaster carts blew up.” Amethyst pointed out. “I think that counts.”

Steven reared back and started sputtering nonsense for a moment, trying to find a decent excuse for that little incident. But soon he was reminded of what he was trying to do and smiled again, pretending to be completely unaffected by the comment. “What I meant was that it was the first time I used it without me having trouble controlling it.” He lied. “All the other times before that, I didn’t know what I was doing, and I wasn’t able to use it properly.”

‘Can I get in on this? How is lying about everything supposed to convince them?’ The Other Side asked. ‘They’ll find out. You’re sputtering lie after lie. None of it makes the smallest amount of sense, and sooner or later, they’ll find out, and then we’re _screwed_.’

‘Not if they never figure it out in the first place.’ Steven rebuffed, set on making sure that this wasn’t how things would play out. They’d never know, and nothing bad would come of it. So where was the harm in lying about this?

There was none, in his eyes. Those pink, widened, and currently diamond-pupil eyes.

“How long had this been going on before you were able to use it properly?” Lapis asked. “Before that incident at that amusement park?”

“A few months,” Steven said. “But-”

“A few months?!” Amethyst exclaimed. “Dude, I would have been surprised at a few weeks, not months! Why were you hiding it like that for so long? What if you hurt yourself or someone else with it?”

Steven held back the urge to snap at Amethyst about how his mom already did that for him with Volleyball. He was well aware that this pink power caused those cracks on her face, and thus he could probably do the same level of damage to any other Gem. So careless and reckless...that’s who his mother had been. But _he_ wasn’t like that! He was careful! He was being careful! Sure, he had that little explosion at the Reef, but that’s all! He...he wasn’t like her.

Not at all.

“I haven’t hurt anyone.” He reassured the purple Gem. “Or myself. I’ve made sure to only use it when nobody is else around or when I really need to.”

The Other Side chortled at this. ‘Hey...what about that time at the Graduation-’

‘Doesn’t count! That was an accident!’ Steven shouted at his inner self.

‘Does not-it totally counts!’ It yelled back, sounding infuriated at his (their) claim. ‘Why are we-’

‘Later! Later talk!’

“Really need to?” Bismuth said. “What does that...wait. Didn’t you mention how this pink form makes you stronger? Are you using it to fight other Gems? Like with that Bluebird fusion or…” She glanced over at the forest. “...her?”

“Uh, yeah...but I had to!” Steven said nervously. “It ended the fights a lot quicker, and I swear I wasn’t trying to hurt them, I was only trying to end it as fast as possible. I’d never purposefully-”

“Whoa, it’s okay, I believe you.” Bismuth said, getting the feeling that Steven was about to start rambling again. “Trust us, Steven, you don’t have to reassure us of something like _that_. Look around you! You’re the most innocent one here compared to the rest of us.”

‘Not for long, if the past couple of months are anything to go by.’

‘Shut. The Hell. Up.’ Steven cursed, finally losing his temper to the point where he felt comfortable enough to swear. ‘Be quiet already. Bismuth’s right. Compared to her and Lapis and even Amethyst, I’m Mr. Goody-two shoes. I shouldn’t have to-’

‘So...you’re saying we’re _better_ than them?’

Steven froze in place as he went over his previous statement. ‘N-no. That’s not what I-’

‘Really? Then what did we mean?’

‘T-that I’ve been improving.’ Steven claimed. ‘The therapy sessions. The pink form. The past week has been helpful for me. In more ways than one.’

‘ _Us_.’ It corrected again. ‘And yeah, it was _really_ helpful. Until today came, and practically undid all that hard work. Tis’ a shame.’

‘Undid?! It hasn’t-’

‘I think Lapis just asked us something…’

‘What?’

Steven came back to attention and was met with the confused face of the blue Gem staring directly into his, so close they were almost touching. He was about to ask _her_ what the heck she was doing, until he realized just how much time probably passed during that argument in his head, and that this was totally justified based on how he had been acting.

“Steven?” She asked. “Can you hear us?” She waved a hand in front of his face like she was testing if he was blind or not. “Steven, are you okay? I’m-’

“It’s okay, I’m here.” He said suddenly, causing Lapis and the other two Gems to let out a sigh of relief, before they immediately ganged up on him.

“Steven, what was that? You freaked me out there for a second!”

“Okay, maybe we should go back to the Temple instead of the Forge Steven. If these kinds of shutouts are common, I think we may need Garnet's help with it. I don’t think this is a good thing...”

“Dude, you can’t just keep ignoring everyone like that! I tried it once, and it didn’t work out!”

This went on for what felt like hours, all three oblivious to the statements being made by their compatriots. Steven however was well aware of all of them, and for once his brain couldn’t retreat into the deepest depths of his mind where it was safe from the anxiety and anger. Lapis was talking about how he was scaring her, Bismuth made a few comments about going back to the Temple, and Amethyst was just trying to convince him to stop disregarding everyone.

It would have been irritating in the extreme, _if_ Steven was still listening. But just like before, he had tuned out entirely, although this time it was more out of necessity than of want. Because for some reason, neither Lapis, Bismuth, nor Amethyst seemed to notice they were all talking at the same time, rendering their collective speech effectively inaudible when it was all mashed together like that. They babbled on, and Steven couldn’t take it. And then things took a turn for the worse. It started hurting to hear them talk like this. He knew it _shouldn’t_ , they weren’t speaking any louder than usual and all three at the same time should only be mildly annoying, but for some reason, the longer he concentrated on the noise, the more it felt like his brain leaking out of his ears.

‘What’s going on?’ He thought, as the three Gems in front of him kept rambling, oblivious to the feeling of pure agony he was currently suffering from. ‘It’s like they’re completely unaware of each other! This...this can’t be real.’ Steven desperately told himself. ‘I have to be hallucinating this, or dreaming, or imagining it...or...or...or something!’

“Dude, can you hear us?” Amethyst asked, before groaning. “Come on, what’s going on now? Steven!”

‘Wha...what are they saying? No! Wait! Don’t listen! It’ll bring back the pain! You can’t listen to them, Steven. You have to be careful now. You can’t…’

“Steven?” Lapis said, her voice finally shining through. “Are you-”

“STOP IT!” Steven screamed, making the three Gems back away from him out of shock. He started glowing an even brighter pink, almost making them have to cover their eyes from the pure intensity of it. Steven then suddenly gasped out in shock at the intense pain that it inflicted upon him, the second the words left his mouth. It felt like a thousand little needles pricking every square inch of his skin at once. The pain only worsened it, and Steven started glowing brighter and brighter until he started feeling like he was going to pop like a grape. It was a feeling that he couldn’t hold in. He crouched down to the ground and prepared to suck in a huge gulp of air, wanting to let out another scream. It’d make the pain go away. It'd make him feel better. It’d make _everything_ better.

At least, that’s the nonsense the Other Side of his brain was shouting at him, to just let go and to make all the problems in his life cease to exist.

And unfortunately for Steven, he didn’t realize in the moment that a small portion of those “problems” were actually the Gems standing right in front of him, and now they were _freaking out_.

“Bismuth! What the hell is happening to him?!” Amethyst shouted, who, like the other two, was currently backing as far away from Steven as they could, his pink form granting them a state of animal-like fear that was practically impossible to resist.

“Don’t ask me!” The bulky Gem yelled back. “ _You_ were the one who went pink before with him, back when you were fused into Smoky! I don’t have any idea what’s going on either! I _just_ learned he could do this like five minutes ago!”

“Can both of you calm down?” Lapis yelled, trying to keep a cool head. “The way he’s crouching...the way he’s breathing...I think he’s having a panic attack. We should be next to him trying to help, not backing away like this!”

“Well, when the air stops being so thick, I’ll give him all the help that he needs. But until then, I’m not getting anywhere near him!” Amethyst yelled. “Geez, what even is that?! Is he doing that somehow…?”

“Wait, when the air stops being so what?” Bismuth asked, leering at her. “What did you say?”

“Thick,” Amethyst repeated. “Or something. I don’t know how to describe it. You guys can’t feel that?”

“Feel what?” Lapis asked, who looked like she was ready to sprint back over to Steven at a moment's notice and comfort him. “What’s wrong with the air?”

“It’s making me feel like I can’t breathe, that’s what!” Amethyst yelled. “It doesn't even feel like air anymore!” She backed away further and started choking on seemingly nothing. “More like some kind of liquid!”

“Can’t breath-Gems don’t need to breathe!” Bismuth yelled, throwing her arms above her head. “We don’t need oxygen to survive! Why are you choking like that? Are you purposefully doing that to yourself?!”

“No! But I...may have shape-shifter a respiratory system earlier.” Amethyst admitted. “It’s the thing that allows humans and all the other Earth animals to bre-br...ACK!” She then started coughing violently, prompting Bismuth to run over to her.

“Why did you do _that_?” Lapis asked. “Why would you make yourself vulnerable like that?”

“I just...wanted to see what it felt like.” Amethyst wheezed. “And then I kinda started to enjoy it, so I didn’t bother getting rid of it.”

“Well, get rid of it _now_ so you don’t have to deal with it anymore!” Bismuth told her, getting her to her feet. “We can’t help both you _and_ Steven like this at the same time!” She glanced back at the boy in worry, and winced when she saw that he seemed to be talking to himself in a furious tone.

“I...I can’t!” Amethyst said, now gasping for air. “This is making me too weak!” She fell on her back and clawed at her throat. “I can’t shapeshift! It’s too painful to-”

By this point, Amethyst’s voice cut out entirely and was replaced solely by choking noises, and she started flailing around desperately like she was drowning. Bismuth wasted no time in picking her up and offering her to Lapis, who looked at the blacksmith in confusion.

“Take her and fly away as far as you can! No...actually, go to Beach City and tell everyone to evacuate!” Bismuth yelled. “I don’t know what’s going if this keeps up, but I don’t want to find out! I’ll try to stop Steven before this...air destroying effect or whatever he’s doing spreads further!”

“What’s going to happen if you can’t?” Lapis asked, out of pure morbid curiosity.

With almost perfect timing, a bird suddenly fell out of the air beside them and landed with a dull thud. The two Gems stared blankly at it as it twitched on the ground before it’s movements abruptly ceased. Lapis frowned solemnly before quickly grabbing the bird and Amethyst. She gave Bismuth a nod and then flew off in the direction of Beach city, ready to give off the evacuation order. She didn’t know what this was happening, or if Bismuth could even do anything to help Steven, but based on what she saw happen to Amethyst, Lapis knew that the safety of the humans in the town was paramount. If this spread further…

She didn’t want to think about it.

Meanwhile, Bismuth watched as Lapis vanished from her sight and then turned back towards Steven, who was still writhing in agony. The hybrid was now a much darker shade of pink, some parts of his body practically dipping into light purple. She gulped and started to approach him, but as she got closer, she felt what Amethyst was talking about.

And while it certainly didn’t affect her in the same way, Bismuth certainly felt the “thickness” of the air that the purple Gem mentioned. It was like everything surrounding her had been partially converted into a liquid, and when she was no more than twenty feet away from him, it was like she was completely submerged underwater.

Not that it stopped her at all. The only reason she was slowing down was because Bismuth didn’t know exactly what to do, or what was even happening, and she needed at least the smallest amount of time to figure things out. Lapis had claimed that he was having some sort of “panic attack”, whatever those were, and that he needed help. (Although anyone looking at him could figure out that last part pretty easily.)

But no matter how this situation was resolved, Bismuth knew that whatever Steven was doing had to be stopped. That bird was proof enough that the aura he was emitting was extremely lethal to Earth's life, and if it expanded far enough to reach Beach city before Lapis had it evacuated, then it might be a massacre.

‘Should have searched for Pearl first.’ Bismuth thought, scolding herself. ‘Should have searched for Pearl first! She’d know what to do! She knows him better than anybody! Well...except maybe for Connie. I wonder what she-’ Bismuth’s eyes suddenly went wide and she gasped audibly as she realized that Connie was still somewhere in Little Homeworld, probably being exposed to the living oxygen destroyer _right now_.

“Damn it…” She cursed. And now she had a choice. She could either go run off and make sure Connie was okay, or she could ignore the fact that the human might be in mortal danger and instead help Steven, who was almost certainly the cause of the whole mess in the first place.

The choice was obvious.

She ran up to Steven as fast as she could, stopping once she was within arm's length. Yes, Connie could be gasping for air right now just like Amethyst was, or be in an even worse condition, but Bismuth was confident that Pearl could handle it and get her out of the...danger zone in time. 

But now Steven was directly in front of her, and Bismuth had to figure out what to do. He was shaking, sobbing, and somehow hyperventilating, apparently immune to whatever aura he was putting out. He almost seemed to be still arguing with someone, as he had the same look in his eyes that Bismuth had seen many times before with Peridot, whenever she was internally disagreeing with herself over something.

And Bismuth still had no clue how to help him.

But she had to do something.

“Steven…?” She said, her brain overloading as she searched for something to say. “It’s me, Bismuth. Can you hear me? Is…” She groaned and nearly facepalmed at her own protruding and pathetic attempts to reach him. ‘Is any of this reaching you?’

Steven gave no response other than more panicked breathing, along with him turning an even darker shade of pink. All of him was now a light purple color, and while Bismuth wasn’t fully aware of how his powers worked, she did know that whatever was going on was _far_ from a normal occurrence.

Hopefully, at least…

He then let out a small whimper and the Gem practically _saw_ the aura expand, and in the distance, she thought she could see leaves falling off trees at the edge of the forest, the plants dying now that they were deprived of any oxygen.

‘Okay. That’s it.’ She thought. ‘Whatever this is, it’s already reached the edge of Little Homeworld. At this rate...it’ll take over the entire _town_ in no more than a few minutes.’ Bismuth huffed and narrowed her eyes. ‘Forget trying to talk it out peacefully. This stops _now_. Whether Steven likes it or not.’

Bismuth turned back to the hybrid and grabbed him by the shoulders, prompting a surprised squeak in response, the first time he had actually reacted to her presence. She shook him back and forth, desperately trying to get through to him.

“Steven!” She yelled, even though she knew that simply shouting at him would likely be futile. “Snap out of it! You’re hurting all the plants! You hurt Amethyst! And you’re going to hurt a lot _more_ people if you don’t stop! Steven!”

Steven, as expected, gave no response, only staring at the Gem blankly while still glowing like an out of control nightlight. Bismuth looked around again, and then saw a few _more_ birds drop out of the sky like rocks around them. It was like standing in some kind of macabre rainstorm. Steven didn’t even notice it, and just kept breathing heavily, sucking in so much air (where was he getting that from?) that he seemed to be taking ten breaths a second, and Bismuth was left standing alone, helpless.

“Dammit…” She repeated. She didn’t want it to come to this. She had tried her last attempt at negotiation. Talking to Steven obviously wasn’t working, and shaking him back and forth was also completely ineffective. She looked around, hoping that Garnet or Pearl might show up at the last second to help, but alas, no one arrived, and she was left by herself.

She then glanced nervously back at Steven, who was still staring blankly through her. At this point, Bismuth figured that if no one else showed up to help, then the only option left might be to knock him out entirely. She couldn’t safely move him anywhere else. They were at the center of Little Homeworld, which was the farthest point from all organic life (excluding the plants in Peridot’s greenhouse, but _that_ could be dealt with later) in the town. 

It was the only thing she could think of at the moment. And-

‘Wait. What the hell are you thinking?! Did you completely forget about the solution to all of this?’ She asked herself. Bismuth’s eyes darted over to the warp pad, which was only a short distance away. The desert. One of the warps led to the middle of a barren desert. Hardly any plants. No animals. And nothing but mounds of sand for almost a hundred miles in all directions. Perfect for the living pink oxygen destroyer. She almost facepalmed at the fact that she hadn’t thought of it sooner, and would have if both her arms weren’t currently holding up Steven.

Bismuth quickly threw him over her shoulder like a sack of potatoes, and he groaned again, now sounding like he was about to throw up. 

“Hang on Steven, I’m going to get you out of here.” Bismuth said. The hybrid didn’t respond, only continuing to hyperventilate and groan. Bismuth wasn’t sure what she’d do once she got it the desert, but anywhere was better than here. Based on the fact that he had seemingly put _himself_ in this frozen pink state.

At least, that’s what she told herself. But a small part of Bismuth knew that it couldn’t possibly be that easy. Whatever this was, whatever was going on with him, it was going to take a _long_ time to fix. If his problems could happen this suddenly and out of nowhere, then it was plain to see that it had been building inside him for quite a while, and he had chosen now to let it all out. It almost reminded her of that crying aura Blue Diamond had. Was he the equivalent for-

“Put me down.” A sudden voice demanded, and Bismuth almost froze in place at the sound of it. _Steven_.

“Put me down!” He repeated, one of his hands forming into a fist and slamming into Bismuth’s back. She buckled and nearly fell to her knees from the blow, but managed to steady herself. 

“Ah! Steven! What are you doing?!” She yelled, grabbing him and holding him out in front of her again. That was a _much_ stronger punch that she expected him to throw. It almost felt like his skin was made out of pure metal. Granted, her own form was tougher than some Earth metals, but whatever Steven had thrown at her...it felt like the surface of a diamond.

“Let me go!” He said for the third time, as he started to flail wildly, desperately attempting to get out of her grip. And he was slowly succeeding. Despite Bismuth gripping him as tight as she could, he wedged his fingers between hers and started to pull them apart. Bismuth was again shocked at the raw strength he was showing off, but shook the feeling off. Solve problems now, be shocked later.

“Steven! Stop struggling!” She yelled. “I’m trying to help you!”

Steven wasn’t listening. In his eyes, his dangerous, polluted, easy-swayed eyes, Bismuth wasn’t trying to help him. He thought she saw this pink form as the last straw to a list of imaginary things he thought the Gems hated about him. He thought she was afraid of him, and taking him to Homeworld, to the _Diamonds_ , and then they’d see this, think he was Pink, and everything he had accomplished in the past two years would come undone, like that.

Of course, none of this was true, but it was to Steven. He was too worried to remember that Bismuth was his friend and would never do that sort of thing to him, and also that going to the Diamonds of all people for help was her absolute last resort. The Other Side had been just a little too persuasive to his already weakened mind, and now was too scared to hear or see clearly, with nothing of what Bismuth said being audible. He only heard the screaming of his mind, begging and pleading with him to do something. To help them both and to just let go, like it had been repeating this whole time.

It was starting to drive him insane. He didn’t know where any of this had come from. He was used to an occasional pink attack, moments where his anxiety built up and he started glowing and breathing so fast that one might assume he was storing oxygen like a crazed squirrel storing nuts for the winter. But it had never gotten _this_ bad. Where a thousand voices were talking in his head, each of them repeating the same thing like a mantra. It was all too fast. It had all come out of nowhere. He just wanted to have a fun time with Connie, and now he was five seconds away from letting loose with all the pent-up energy that had been building up over the last five months, all while writhing in Bismuth’s grasp, fighting and pushing her any way he could.

And honestly? Steven couldn’t comprehend how things had taken such a turn. And all in less than a few hours. So much had happened. The library, the drive of self-reflection, the interrogation, his lip, seeing Lapis and Bismuth, going up to Jasper, Connie almost biting it like ten times, all while he fought what was once one of his most dangerous enemies, only for her to surrender for a reason he still didn’t get.

He didn’t want any of it. It was like someone had taken a bunch of random events and jammed them into Steven’s life, hoping that in the end, they’d be at least slightly comprehensible. But he sure wasn’t. His life was turning into a disaster film, with him as the main focus. The advice of his therapist was of no help now. How could he get rid of all his problems if the only problem he saw...was himself?

He didn’t know the answer. He had a feeling as to what it was, but there was no way he was going to say it, not even in his thoughts. Because there had to be another way than going that route. There was _always_ another way.

And then everything finally fell apart with three quick movements.

He involuntarily landed a hard punch just an inch from Bismuth’s Gem, and she gasped in shock, realizing just how close he had been to cracking or even shattering her. And now the bulky Gem had had enough. She held Steven out in front of her and shook him like a rag doll, trying to get him to cease his assault but having no idea how. Finally, he threw another punch at her, and she quickly moved her hand to block it.

But it didn’t go where it was supposed to. At the last second, Steven moved his arm upwards and out of Bismuth's reach, causing the Gem to accidentally and bluntly smack him on the side of the head instead of blocking his hand. Instantly Steven’s head dropped and was out like a light, his entire body going limp as his mind shifted into unconsciousness. Bismuth made a choking sound as she realized what she had just done, and her arms started trembling as the boy’s entire body went slack.

“...Wha…” She started, almost too shocked to speak. “Wha...why did he...did he do it on…?”

She shook these thoughts out of her mind and instead placed two fingers on his throat, feeling sweet relief upon finding a heartbeat. However, one thing hadn’t changed. He was still glowing pink, despite being knocked out, and the air still made her feel like she was walking through jello. 

She glanced towards the warp pad, then at Steven, then up at the sky where a few more birds started falling like rocks. She swallowed nervously and stared back at the body in her arms, praying that it would wake up and somehow fix all this for her.

It didn’t, and she sighed.

“Well...what the heck do I do now?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And Steven's freak-out has officially begun. I know the beginning probably felt a little rushed, but this was intentional to show just how fast things can decline when it comes to Steven's mental state at the moment. The next couple of chapters will have plenty of mental shenanigans, and it's where the "dialogue heavy" tag comes into play.


	12. Insanity

“Ughhhh…” Steven groaned, reaching a hand up to his head and rubbing it. It felt like he had been hit with a five hundred pound dumbbell. He struggled to open his eyes, his eyelids feeling like they were being weighed down by something. The ground beneath him felt slick and smooth, like a wet rock.

“Wha...what happened?” He asked, not exactly sure who he was hoping to receive an answer from. "Where am I?”

“Wow, I did not expect her to go that far.” A sudden voice said, making Steven gasp and sit up. “I knew she was desperate, but still. That’s a pretty insane thing for Bismuth to do. And here I thought she was the most peaceful one of us nowadays.”

“What the-what’s going on?!” Steven asked, jumping to his feet and scanning the area. His eyes widened at the sight, something that he was certainly not expecting. His surroundings were nothing short of _immense_. The ground beneath him was a grey slick floor, a thin purple-ish mist coating it and floating a foot above the ground. The sky was a light pink, and there were no clouds, no stars, just an endless pink sky. The mist stretched over the horizon, and the ground was as flat as could be for miles around. Steven stood still and took it all in for a moment, stunned into silence by the sight.

“Pretty, isn’t it?”

“Yeah, it’s...wait!” Steven said. “What happened? Where are we? Are you that thing from-”

“One question at a time.” The voice said. “And yes, I am the thing from earlier. The Other Side. And although you’re here under rather unfortunate circumstances...welcome to my domain.”

“Your domain?”

“Yes. The mindscape.” The Other Side said. “The place where our memories are stored. Our feelings, our experiences...everything that makes us “us” is here Steven. And although it looks a bit empty at the moment, that is only because I made it so to make things easier for you.”

“Umm...thanks?” Steven said. “But what’s happening?” He repeated. “How did I get here?”

“I think you should ask _yourself_ that question this time. What do you remember?” The Other Side asked. “What do you recall happening?”

“Well…” Steven mumbled. “We had turned pink, and I think we were having a panic attack. It’s kind of a blur after that, but I remember someone grabbing me and…” He gasped. “ _Bismuth_. She...she knocked me out. I think I tried to hit her to make her let go, but she smacked me in response. D-did she use too much force accidentally or was she actually trying to hurt me?”

“Don’t ask me.” The Other Side said. “Although I believe it was on purpose. Likely an attempt to get us to turn back to normal. I don’t believe it worked though. But, even though we are no longer conscious, this shouldn’t dissuade us from our main goal. We should be focusing on what’s important. Waking up as soon as possible so we can let go of all our problems.”

“Wait,” Steven repeated. “I think we’re going a little too fast here. I still have so many questions! You just said that this is your domain. But if that’s true, then you’ve been lying and you’re not actually me, but something else entirely! And this whole letting go...that was what caused us to freak out in the first place! It was why Bismuth knocked us out. We can’t-”

"Enough." The Other Side said. "Stop this, and just let go like I said earlier. There is no time for those questions. They are pointless. You know what you have to do. Like I said, the current predicament changes nothing. We are still in the same situation, and I have the same solution. So why are we still holding back?" It asked, a condescending tone to its words like it was disappointed in him. “The energy is there. It always has been. And we’re glowing brighter than ever. So let me wake you up, scream, and unleash that glow on the world. Every. Last. Bit of it.”

“I...I can’t." Steven said, despite how much he wanted to. "No. I’m not going to do that. Not now. Now here. It’ll only make things worse for me."

"Oh my-have you been listening to me at all?!" It screeched. "We were _so_ close! So close to letting the other see! The therapy...it’s worthless. It may have helped for a while, but we knew from the beginning that it was never going to turn out well. And look. Look where we ended up…"

"That's not true!" Steven protested. "That advice has helped us _so_ much! It’s the main reason why I haven't been having that many pink outbursts lately! It’s why my mood has improved! It’s why I'm a lot happier now! It’s helped me in so many ways, and I'm not going to listen to a figment of my imagination trying to convince me that it hasn’t!"

"But...has it?" It asked. "Let's rewind, shall we? You entered the office. You told them your problems. We sat there for a full _hour_ telling them how and why our sad pitiful life sucked so much and probably would have rambled on for even longer if we hadn't run out of time."

"I'm already aware of this," Steven growled. "What's your point-"

"My point is that we were sent away with a message. The therapist told us that he'd think about us and give us some advice tomorrow. After, of course, apologizing for not having the time to give us any that day. Which of course was our fault. Once we got to Spinel and the Diamonds, I don’t even think putting a metal lock over our mouths would have stopped that endless babble."

"It may be “endless babble”, but if you are _me_ , then you know why it took that long." Steven pointed out. “I haven't forgiven them for trying to kill me all those times. They may be redeemed, they may be helping, we may be _friends_ , but I haven't and likely never will fully forgive them for what they did. And you already know why. Because you were there, weren't you? Back at the first session, when I was listing it all."

"Of course “I” was there. “I” have never been anywhere else." It said. “But what did your therapist say? What did he say to us to resolve our feelings with the same beings who have destroyed organic life on hundreds of worlds, tortured and shattered their fellow Gems for possibly millions of years, and tried to kill us for...oh, I don’t know, a good year or so? Give or take a couple of months."

"What are you trying to-"

 _"What did he say?"_ It thundered. “What did he tell us? Focus on nothing else, just that.”

"He said…" Steven hesitated and then sighed, deciding to just go along with this. "He said I should forgive them. That there’s no way I’m going to improve my relationship if I keep feeling angry and keep pouting at them for all the horrible stuff that they did."

"Yes, and what did we think of that lovely little piece of advice?"

"I...we hated it." Steven insisted, able to recall that memory like it had happened yesterday. "We thought that he was crazy for trying to get us to do that. Of course, we didn’t say that to him at the time, but it was painfully obvious in the way we addressed him afterward."

"Correct. Very good." It whispered. "Now, why is that? Why can't we forgive the Diamonds and Spinel?"

"Be-because they hurt us!" Steven declared, like it was the most obvious thing in the world. "All four of them hurt us in _so_ many ways that I can hardly even count them all. They locked us in that tower, attacked us on the Beach, tried to destroy the Earth, turned my...my friends into _puppets_ , ripped out my Gem, and that's not even the half of it! Heck, White never even _apologized_ for doing that last one! I doubt she’s even told anyone else!"

"But did we tell anyone?"

"Of course not." Steven scoffed. "They don’t need to know. We just...brushed it under the carpet like everything else. That whole thing with the pink version of me and scream and the crater...we ignored it like we should have."

"Yes. We _ignored_ it. Like _they_ ignored all your claims about you not being Pink.” The Other Side said. “At least _Spinel_ got that part right. But then again...she was even crueler than the Diamonds, wouldn’t you say?"

"What are you... _we_ sayin-”

"Think about it." It said. "The Diamonds tried to kill us because they thought we were Rose. Then they took us to Homeworld, forced us to adhere to _their_ rules, poofed our friends, locked us in a tower with Connie, and then Blue hurt us again with that energy ball simply because we were stating our opinion on the matter. She didn’t care if we got hurt or not. She just wanted to teach us a _lesson_."

"Okay, but what does that have to do with-"

"Just wait." It interjected. "Now, let’s look at what happened afterwards. We talked it out. We asked her how many times she’s hurt dear old mom like this. Probably hundreds, if we’re being honest. She broke down crying, said some nonsense about “this world isn’t good enough for you”, oooooh, and then we all became buddy-buddy." The Other Side then cleared its throat. “Now...did we forgive her for...oh, who am I kidding, the answer is no. So let us rephrase the question to: _why_ didn’t we forgive Blue? After all, out of the three Diamonds, she was the most merciful. The first to listen. The first to _care_. So what went wrong?"

"Well...for starters, she didn’t stop Yellow back then. At the ball." Steven said. "After me and Connie fused, Yellow grabbed us, but Blue...she didn’t do anything. If she cared, she would have stopped her! She would have done something!"

"Yes, and what else?"

"Hm...besides all the stuff she put my dad and me through during the whole zoo incident, testing him like some wild animal and not a real person, she waited too long to visit me and Connie in the tower! What if she had waited a little bit longer? Connie could have starved to death and it would have been all Blue’s fault!"

"Yes, but she visited _eventually_." The Other Side pointed out. "And in time too. So what was so bad about-"

"But what if she _wasn't_ in time?!" Steven asked. Demanded really. "Then my best friend would have died, I’d have to revive her with my tears, she'd blame me for not doing something earlier, hate me forever, and my life would be ruined! Blue visited us in time, but I’ve spent so long thinking and having nightmares about what _might_ have happened if she wasn’t, that it’s almost starting to feel like Connie _did_ die and I brought her back to life! I got so caught up in it once that I spent an hour crying on the bathroom floor after waking up because I thought the dream I had just woke up from was reality. And then Pearl found me and reminded me that I was going to visit Connie at the library. That crying session...was only a _few hours ago_!”

The Other Side paused for a second before speaking again, with such a satisfied tone that if Steven saw this other aspect of himself, he was sure it’d be smiling.

"Yes! That’s _right_!" It shouted, overjoyed. "Blue hurt us! She hurt Connie! She might have become a “good Gem” eventually, but that doesn’t excuse all the horror she put us through! Yes...yes…...we are right. Blue is someone that doesn’t care. If she did...she’d never have done that to us in the first place."

Steven paused before nodding slightly, memories of Blue spiraling through his head alongside a hurricane of emotions. But only the bad ones of course, as if “someone” was manipulating it to be that way. Her helping him and Connie escape, the songs the other Diamonds sang to him, all those times she called to check on how he was doing...all of it was buried underneath the immense weight of the suffering she put him through. One could say that the happy memories never took place to begin with.

“Now...the next one. _Yellow_.” The Other Side said, before sucking in their breath. “Wow. I mean...just wow. There’s not enough time in the _day_ for that, so...what do we think is a good starter for her? What did the brutal and cruel Yellow Diamond do to hurt us?”

“...The Cluster.” Steven whispered, staring into the middle distance and remaining focused on nothing.

"Oooh? What about it?" The Other Side asked.

"She created it to destroy the Earth. All those Gems...fused into monsters like they weren’t even alive. Treated like they were nothing more than tools."

"Uh uh uh…remember, this is about us. Not others." The Other Side scolded. "How did the Cluster affect _us_?"

"I…we were so scared," Steven said. "We might not have shown it at times, but we were so scared that it might destroy the Earth and everyone would die because we failed. We had nightmares about it for _weeks_ on end, and even a full-blown panic attack at one point. We had to duck behind the barn before anyone saw us when that happened!"

"And what did we do with these feelings?"

"...Ignore them." Steven mumbled. "Just like everything else that bothered us back then. Sweep it under the carpet and try to pretend it was all a bad dream."

"Yes. Shame that little method didn’t pan out for us that well."

"Yeah, but it’s not like we can do anything to change that," Steven said. "Those feelings are going to remain forever. It’s almost like we can’t get rid of them. We’ve tried so many times...but nothing works. Not permanently."

"Are we sure of that?" The Other Side asked. "It _is_ possible, you... _we_ should know, to get rid of these feelings. We just have to work a little _harder_ on getting rid of them. Even if the tactics involve methods that we...won’t approve of at first."

"What’s that supposed to mean?”

"It means that you can make an omelet without breaking a few eggs." It said. "And in this case, literally, if the eggs were the Gems that have hounded and abused us for so long…"

"Wait...we...we’re going to _shatter_ the Diamonds?!" Steven exclaimed, taking a step backwards as his eyes widening in shock. Eyes that were suddenly no longer a sickly pink in hue, as if he had been snapped out of whatever trance the Other Side put him in. “We can’t do that! That’s like one of our main rules! No Gem should be shattered like how it was in the previous Eras. Not even them!"

"I’m not suggesting we shatter them." It said. "Merely...teach them a lesson. Show them that we have _not_ forgiven them for their crimes, and that they will have to answer for what they did. Nobody has to _die_."

"Then...then what exactly are we going to-"

"Teach them a lesson." It repeated. "Show them that we do _not_ forgive them for what they did to us. Show them that we are _not_ friends, acquaintances, and certainly not _family._ " The Other Side spat. "They don’t get to sweep everything under that carpet as we did. They should be begging for forgiveness each and every day, pleading with us to be merciful. And if we’re in a generous mood, we'll grant them that. But if not…"

"..."

"..."

"...Well?" Steven asked. "What are we going to do?"

"...Who knows." It said. "What should we do? What is a proper punishment for all they’ve done? One that we can repeat over and over again, to show them that we are _done_ playing around, and that we are _done_ with the manufactured smiles and the fake waves?"

"I..." Steven paused and went over his options. First and foremost, was this even right? Was doing this truly the right thing to do? After all he had just told himself, it sounded like it _was_...but another part of him, the small, worn-out conscience that was now so tiny he could hardly even feel it...was telling him otherwise. He should stop this. Cease listening to the Other Side and its poison. Because finally letting go, an event which he thought was inevitable after this conversation about the Diamonds and his feelings ended, was...perhaps...no longer necessary? He _could_ get better. He had been getting better. The therapist’s advice was working. His family’s advice was working. It was all-

"Oh, and _White_." It seethed, derailing Steven’s train of thought and banishing his conscience back into the darkness. "I know we’re not quite done with Yellow, but I think we could skip ahead a bit. Let’s go over White."

"H-hey...wait." Steven protested. "I wasn’t ready. I need more time to think about this before-"

"No! No time! No time at all!" It yelled. "We have to finish this now! Even at this very moment, Bismuth is still trying to get us to the warp pad! We must finish this discussion as fast as possible, and only then can we unleash the full force of all the agony and torment that we have endured!"

"But-"

"WHITE!" It roared. "What did she do to us?!"

Steven cringed away from this, his heart beating in his ears. That was it. He was sure that if he even had a semblance of what was going on anymore he’d be thoroughly terrified. But this was too much. Was he... _afraid_? Afraid of this? Afraid of _himself_? Why was he feeling this way? Was this thing speaking to him _really_ part of his mind or-

"Because…" It said in a sly tone, making Steven tense up. "We’re afraid of what we can do. That’s why we’re scared of ourselves. We’re afraid that we can easily hurt others if we want to. And we _can_. Jasper. Bluebird. The people on the beach. Volleyball and Pearl. Jasper again. So many souls that this pink power has wreaked havoc on, all because we don’t _embrace_ it! We try to get rid of it, use it as scarcely as possible, when instead we should be using it _all the time!_ For everything, no matter how mundane! Because aren’t we Steven Universe! Aren't we always changing?! That is who we are! And this is a change! This is Steven Universe now! This. Is. US!"

Steven didn’t respond at first, shocked into silence by the power/behind these words. For some reason, it almost felt like a God was speaking to him, instructing him on what to do next with divine power. 

_If_ that divine power resided in a being that had more in common with the Devil than God. He knew he shouldn't be listening to what it had to say. But he couldn't resist either. It was just so...persuasive. And terrifying, like if he didn’t do what it said he’d be punished severely for his transgressions.

"We’re not going to punish _ourselves_." It said. "We don’t have to, but only _if_ we do the right thing."

"Then...what _is_ the right thing, at the end of the day?!" Steven shouted. "What even _are_ you? If you’re me, and we’re both Steven...then what are we _together?"_

"...More." It said. "Simply put, we are more. More than _them_. More than the Gems. More than the Diamonds. More than Connie." 

"More than Connie? What do you mean by…?" Steven said, before rearing back and scowling. "No! No, you’re wrong! You-"

"WE!" It thundered. "We! Use the correct pronouns. You were doing so well earlier. You finally saw the truth! The truth that we are the same person! Don’t use “you”. That’s saying we believe that we are two separate entities, sharing a body. This is more incorrect than anything had the right to be! “I” am you. “You” are me. Our emotions taken form. All of this...this has been nothing but us talking to ourselves."

"I don't care," Steven said. "Because you’re definitely not me. I would _never_ put myself above Connie. She’s so much more than I ever could be, and-"

"And _there_ it is. Your final proclamation." It scoffed, finally giving up on trying to pretend they were the same.

"What?" 

"The self-hate." It elucidated. "The feeling that _you’re_ not good enough. Not good enough for her. Not good enough for the Gems. Not good enough for anyone. When I mentioned the cliff earlier, about how you-"

"Don’t you _dare_ talk about that." Steven seethed. "That was nothing. It wasn’t...a real thought I was having. Sometimes people just think about stuff like that, but I’d never actually follow through and...you know. Don’t start acting like you know anything about me."

"Has it not been established that I know _everything_ about you? I know what the Diamonds did. I know what the Gems have done. I know it all."

"Then how?!" Steven pleaded. "And don’t start another “we’re the same person” thing up again. That’s not going to work anymore." 

"..."

Receiving no answer, Steven sighed before gulping and closing his eyes. That was it. It was time for this to end. No more listing the Diamonds crimes. No more manipulation. No more whatever _this_ thing was trying to get into his head. 

"Okay, I’m done." He stated. "This is all your fault, isn't it? Me going pink, freaking everyone out, making myself think that they’ve turned against me for some reason. It’s _you_. Poisoning my mind with those horrid ideas without me ever noticing."

"Both of us had a part to play...but even _you_ can’t argue with the fact that none of this would have happened if it wasn’t for everyone else."

"Maybe," Steven said. "But I also know that they never meant to do any of that. Even that garbage you were going on about earlier with the Diamonds, about how they never cared for me and still don’t...did you really think that’d work?"

"It did. For a while." The Other Side pointed out. "You are more susceptible and open to suggestion than you know. Every day you practically have to beg other people to give you something to do. You kept asking Connie “do you want to do this? Are you sure you want to keep going?” I wonder why that is?"

Steven narrowed his eyes. He didn’t need to keep hearing this.

"Just leave." He demanded. "Get out of here."

 _"No_." It said. "Not until you’re safe. Not until you do what you have to. Let go, and make all of them-"

"WHAT EVEN ARE YOU?!" Steven exploded, unable to hold back his pent-up rage. "What. Are. You? I have been asking myself that question ever since you first started talking. I thought that maybe you were another Gem at first, trying to take over my mind. But then you got the upper hand and convinced me that no, “I’m part of your thoughts. I’m _you!_ ”" He mocked. "And now...now that I"ve broken free of your pathetic attempt to control me, which is entirely because you got a little too eager, I’m back at square one. So tell me...what the hell are you?!"

"...Such language." It muttered, sounding disappointed in him.

"Yeah, well forgive me if I’m a bit peeved right now." Steven spat. "I think you’ve done a fine job at controlling me _that_ way."

"Hmm. Fair. But you want to know who I am?" It asked. “Okay. I’ll tell you. I...am a remnant."

"A remnant?" Steven queried. "A remnant of what?"

"Of a past trauma." It said. "One that has been particularly troubling for you. And one that revealed something that I know you think about every day, even if you aren't aware of it."

"Past trauma? You’re going to have to be a little more specific." Steven scoffed. "You could have said “a remnant of the past four years of your life”, and it’d still be the same."

"Wrong." It whispered. "This is different. Now it's my turn again to ask the questions, Steven. Out of everything...every single thing you’ve been through...what was the worst part?"

"The _worst_ part?"

"Yes. What event affected you the most?" The Other Side repeated. "What do you have the most nightmares about? What are you tortured most by? What...caused you to know that you’ve been a fusion all along?"

"A fusion?" Steven asked. "What are you-" 

"ENOUGH." A sudden and powerful voice rang out, making Steven snap his mouth shut and tense up at the mere sound of it. The sound echoed throughout the area and made Steven suddenly feel very small. Whatever it was, it rattled his bones and seemed to make everything around him shake like a great earthquake was taking place. He was left cowering in fear of who or whatever this was, after just one word.

"Oh great, it’s _you…_ " The Other Side growled with disdain. "Get out of here! This is between me and him."

"NO." The voice said, speaking with the power of a shout but with the calmness of someone talking in a completely monotone voice. It was almost hypnotic the way they spoke. "THIS IS BETWEEN US. ALL OF US. EVEN IF YOU SHOULD NOT EVEN BE HERE IN THE FIRST PLACE."

"Hey-" Steven tried to interject, but he was cut short by the Other Side speaking again, who wasn’t even focusing on him anymore. Steven thought he’d be more annoyed at all of this, what with another person entering his head and taking residence, but the sheer power behind the words of the new voice made him want to curl up into a ball and cry, so getting irritated in any way was out of the question. 

"Are you joking?" The Other Side seethed. "I am _absolutely_ necessary. I am helping Steven. I am assisting him in letting go and getting rid of the _nonsense_ he surrounds himself with."

"THAT IS NOT NONSENSE." The voice said. "STEVEN NEEDS THEM. _WE_ NEED THEM. IF YOU CANNOT ABIDE TO THIS, THEN YOU SERVING NO FUNCTIONAL PURPOSE. THEREFORE-"

"HEY!" Steven yelled, deciding to finally speak up. He could only hope that this wasn’t the last thing he ever did. "Can I get a word in?"

"NO. YOU HAVE DONE ENOUGH TO DAMAGE THIS MIND AND THIS BODY BY LISTENING TO THIS MISTAKE." The voice said. "I WILL BE TAKING CONTROL UNTIL THE SITUATION IS RESOLVED."

"Taking control...what does that mean?" Steven asked. "Are you going to take over my body?!"

"ONLY FOR A MOMENT. THE LAST HALF HOUR HAS CLEARLY SHOWN THAT YOU ARE TOO SUSCEPTIBLE TO SUGGESTION AND MANIPULATION." The voice claimed. "IF THIS CONTINUES, STEVEN WILL BE HARMED. SINCE YOU ARE NO LONGER ADEPT AT PREVENTING THIS FROM HAPPENING, I WILL DO WHAT IS NECESSARY TO PROTECT US BOTH."

"Okay, who are _you_?!" Steven shouted. “And why are there so many people living in my head?! First this weird creepy thing that keeps trying to tell me that I don't need my friends and that I should “let go” to show them I don’t want to be pushed around or something, and-"

"Actually, the whole “no pushing around” is a tactic I recommended you use for the Diamonds." The Other Side interrupted. "For your friends, I was getting you too-"

"Shut up!" Steven yelled, shocking the entity with his audacity. "No more from you. But like I was saying, first, that thing appears, and now _you_ , who for some reason sounds like me but monotone, pop up out of nowhere and say that you’re taking over? What is _wrong_ with the two of-"

"THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH ME." The voice said. "AS FOR THE OTHER SIDE OF YOU, THAT IS WHERE ALL THE WRONGNESS RESIDES."

“Then what is the “other side”?" Steven asked, feeling like he was repeating that question for maybe the hundredth time. "Can you... _please_ explain to me what you are? Before this gets any more confusing for the poor readers?”

"DO...DO YOU NOT RECOGNIZE MY VOICE?" The voice asked, sounding genuinely surprised. “EVEN AFTER WHAT IT BROUGHT WITH IT THE FIRST TIME?"

"No, I don’t recognize it at all!" Steven said, before sitting down and slouching. He hardly even felt angry anymore, except for the portion that was directed at that “other side”. He just felt like this had been going on for way too long, had started up much too suddenly, and now he just wanted it all to stop. "I don’t...recall anything about you...or it."

"THAT IS...INTERESTING. PERHAPS YOU’VE BLOCKED OUT THAT MEMORY TO A POINT WHERE YOU CAN’T REMEMBER SPECIFIC DETAILS. I DO NOT BLAME YOU HOWEVER. IT IS ONE THAT HAS BEEN THE CAUSE OF MANY OF OUR NIGHTMARES."

" _Our_ nightmares?" Steven said, before groaning in exasperation and covering his face with his hands. "Oh please no." He begged. "Don’t tell me you're doing the same thing that _it_ did earlier. The whole “We're the same person” crap."

"YOU AND ME HAVE MORE IN COMMON THAN YOU HAVE WITH “IT”." The voice claimed, which did nothing to get rid of Steven’s frustration. "WE SHARE THE SAME MEMORIES. THE SAME EXPERIENCES. THE SAME FEELINGS TOWARDS OTHERS. HOWEVER...RECENTLY THERE _HAS_ BEEN A SPLIT BETWEEN OUR EMOTIONS."

"A...split?"

"YES. A SPLIT. OR A CRACK. DIVIDING THE WAY WE THINK AND THE WAY WE FUNCTION. EVEN NOW IT’S GROWING, HOPING TO SEPERATE US."

"It's still growing?" Steven asked. "Wha-where is…?"

"LOOK ABOVE YOU." The voice thundered, and Steven obeyed, turning his gaze towards the sky. He gasped reflexively at what he saw and scooted away, even though such a gesture was pointless. There, among the shapeless and grey clouds that made up the mind world, was a gigantic fissure, pink light spilling out of it like blood gushing from a wound. It seemed to stretch for miles, and on the very edges, Steven thought he could see it widening very slightly, gaining more ground by the second. 

"What is that thing?!" He exclaimed, horrified by the pure size of it. Judging by how high up it was, and how big it seemed to be even from the ground, the crack had to be miles across. He was dumbfounded that he hadn’t spotted it before now.

"I JUST TOLD YOU." The voice said. "A CRACK. A FISSURE IN OUR MIND. NORMALLY THINGS LIKE THIS, THINGS THAT CAUSE TRAUMA WOULD ONLY HAVE AN EFFECT ON YOU, AND THUS I TRUSTED YOU TO TAKE CARE OF THEM. HOWEVER, THIS CREVICE EFFECTS ME AS WELL, BUT I STILL HOPED THAT YOU WOULD HAVE IT IN YOU TO REPAIR IT. AS I SAID EARLIER, THIS WAS FALSE. YOU HAVE BEEN ENTIRELY INCAPABLE OF SEALING IT UP. IF ANYTHING, YOU HAVE MADE IT WORSE THAN EVER."

"...And that’s why you're here now." Steven deduced. "To fix it. To do...what I couldn’t?" Steven's gaze drifted to the floor.

"SOMETHING TROUBLES YOU?"

"Yeah…well, I suppose that could be a lot of things." Steven said, chuckling slightly before tears started to form in his eyes. "But this...you’re saying I was too weak to stop this. That I only helped it grow in size. I’ve spent so long trying to help people...but now you’re here saying that I couldn’t even help myself. What am I supposed to do with this information? Give up and let you do all the work from now on?"

“YOU HAVE DONE A FINE JOB FOR YEARS WITHOUT ME INTERVENING. BUT THERE WILL ALWAYS BE PROBLEMS THAT YOU ARE UNABLE TO SOLVE BY YOURSELF. THERE WILL BE PROBLEMS THAT I WILL BE UNABLE TO SOLVE WITHOUT YOUR HELP.”

“Really, when?” Steven asked. “Because from the way you speak, I kinda assumed that you were the type of person who could take care of anything…”

“I DO NOT KNOW.” The voice said. “BUT IT WILL COME SOON ENOUGH. FOR YOU. FOR ME. FOR US. FOR...STEVEN.”

Steven bit the inside of his lip and stood up, getting an urge to scream. But not because of any _outside_ situation, just this one. There were so many questions going through his head that he’d probably forget most of them by the time even two of three were answered. But there was one in particular that had been at the top of that list ever since this third being arrived. He had tried to ignore it, but he frankly couldn't help himself any longer. He had to know.

“There’s something I need to ask you,” Steven said. “I don’t think it has anything to do with that crack, or those problems that will take both of us to solve, or any of the important stuff going on right now, but...I’ve held it off for too long. Ever since you got here.”

“IT HAS ONLY BEEN TEN MINUTES SINCE I GOT HERE.” The voice pointed out. “WHATEVER IT IS, YOU HAVE NOT HELD IT OFF FOR LONG.”

“Yeah, well, those ten minutes felt an absolute eternity. Not to mention a total pain to slog through.” Steven said. “But...okay. Here goes. Are...you me? Are you actually a part of my mind that I never knew about? Like some kind of...alternate personality?”

“ARE YOU NOT ALREADY SURE OF THE ANSWER? I INFORMED YOU EARLIER THAT I WAS YOU. OUR NIGHTMARES, REMEMBER?”

“Yeah, and I thought that maybe you were trying to trick me like that other thing!”

“Other _Side_.” It suddenly corrected, making Steven jolt. “Still here by the way. Don’t think I’m done with-”

“Too bad, because _I’m_ done with you.” Steven seethed, not in the mood to deal with any of that. “Just...crawl back into whatever hole you came out of.” He shook his head and then stared back up at the gigantic split in the sky, still glowing as bright as the sun. “Okay. Back to this. Again, are you me? Was that a trick earlier?”

“IT WAS NO TRICK. MERELY A LOST IDEA. I WAS PLANNING TO TELL YOU THEN, BUT DECIDED AFTER I SAID THAT THAT IT WOULD BE BEST TO WAIT UNTIL YOU ASKED. SINCE YOU ALREADY HAVE SO MUCH BEING THROWN AT YOU, I WANTED YOU TO FIND OUT WHEN YOU WERE COMFORTABLE.”

“Oh. Uh...thanks?” Steven said, awkwardly rubbing the back of his head. “That's actually...really thoughtful, I guess, all things considered.”

“I HAVE OUR BEST INTERESTS AT HEART. IT DOES NOT, NO MATTER HOW MUCH IT CLAIMS IT DOES.”

Steven sighed softly. “Back to the “our” and “we” pronouns then?” He asked. “You’re really a part of me?”

“YES. BUT I WILL USE “I” WHEN IT IS CONVENIENT FOR BOTH OF US.”

“Okay...that's also really thoughtful, so thanks…” Steven mumbled. “But _which_ part?”

“I NOT SURE IF YOU SHOULD TELL YOU AT THE MOMENT.” The voice said, making Steven’s left eye twitch uncontrollably. He wasn’t sure how many more mysteries he could take. “DOING SO WOULD BRING UP AN OLD MEMORY. ONE THAT WOULD CAUSE MANY MORE PROBLEMS FOR US, NAMELY THAT CRACK GROWING MUCH BIGGER. THINGS MAY BE BETTER IF I REMAIN ANONYMOUS.”

“Righhhhhht,” Steven said, clearly irritated. “But what…are the rules of that crack? What happens if it gets too big?”

“OUR DIAMOND SIDE COULD-”

“Wait, our _what_ side?!” Steven exclaimed, horrified by the idea that something like that even existed. Anything mentioning the Diamonds, especially if it was concerning him, was bad news. “What are you-”

“OUR DIAMOND SIDE IS THE FORM WE TAKE WHENEVER WE GET ANGRY OR STRESSED.” The voice said. “IT GREATLY BOOSTS OUR ABILITIES. I ASSUME YOU SHOULD KNOW WHAT I’M TALKING ABOUT.”

“Oh...that pink form,” Steven said. “The one we just used against Jasper...again.”

“YES. THE “PINK FORM”.” The voice repeated, and Steven almost thought he caught a hint of disdain in its voice. “IT IS AN EMBARRASSMENT.”

“Really? Why?” Steven asked. “I mean, I get that it might remind some people of _her-_ ”

“PRECISELY.” The voice interjected. “HER. WE HAVE SPENT OUR WHOLE LIVES PROVING THAT WE ARE NOT OUR MOTHER. WE HAVE ALMOST DIED BECAUSE OF THAT GOAL SEVERAL TIMES. AND NOW THIS FORM APPEARS BECAUSE OF THOSE EXACT SAME LIFE-OR-DEATH SITUATIONS. IT’S ALMOST IRONIC.”

“I wouldn't call it ironic,” Steven muttered. “More “unfair”.”

“AGREED. BUT THE MAIN POINT IS THAT WITH IT, PEOPLE WILL ASSOCIATE US WITH HER MORE.”

“They already do.” Steven pointed out. “We live her legacy every day, annoying as it is. People are never _not_ going to associate us. She’s our mother! We may not like her, but I learned long ago that there’s no escaping that kind of stuff. We can only...endure it at this point.”

“NO. THAT IS NOT THE ATTITUDE WE HAD TOWARDS THIS YESTERDAY. EVEN THEN, WE WERE STILL TRYING TO GET RID OF HER. FORGET HER. WE ARE NOT PINK DIAMOND. SHE’S GONE. AND-”

Before another word could be said, Steven gasped and cried out like he had been stabbed, his legs practically crumbling beneath him as he fell to his knees.

“ARE YOU OKAY?” The voice asked. “WHAT-”

“Holy...I _remember…_ ” Steven said, clutching a hand to his face. “Your voice...I knew it sounded familiar, but I couldn’t pinpoint where...but then...you said she’s gone and...” He then fell on all fours, panting and sweating like he was about to throw up. “It’s _you…_ ” 

He got up again and rubbed a hand over his brow, doing everything he could to not vomit from the realization.

“The pink Steven that came out of our Gem.”

“...”

“...”

“AND?”

“And?” Steven said incredulously, still recovering from the realization. “What do you mean _and?_ I...feel like you should say something, or I should ask you how _you’re_ feeling, especially since the last time I heard or even _saw_ you was-”

A vision of sharpened black fingernails and bright white light appeared at the edges of his vision, making Steven’s heart race so fast that he could hear it in his ears.

“...During that.”

“I WAS HOPING TO AVOID THIS. BUT I SUPPOSED IT WAS INEVITABLE ONCE YOU FIGURED OUT WHO I WAS. IF ANYTHING, I AM SORRY THAT YOU NOW HAVE TO RELIVE THAT MOMENT BECAUSE OF ME. IT HURTS ME JUST AS MUCH AS YOU.”

“You don’t need to apologize for _that_ ,” Steven said. “White pulling my Ge-uh... _you_ out of me is the event that I’ve been getting the most nightmares about. I relived it daily before all the Gems made me go to therapy.”

“YES. YOUR DREAMS ARE MY DREAMS. I MISS THE DAYS WHEN THOSE COMPRISED OF NOTHING BUT HELICOPTER-PROPELLED DOGS AND GIANT DONUTS.”

Steven paused and, then for the first time in what felt like forever, he let out a genuine humorous laugh. He missed those dreams most of all. And now it felt like he’d never get them back.

“I do too.” He said. “But how has that affected you? We can talk about the other stuff in a second, but since I don’t know anything about you-”

“THERE IS NOT MUCH TO KNOW BESIDES WHAT YOU ARE ALREADY AWARE OF.” Pink Steven said. “I AM JUST THE CONSCIOUSNESS STORED IN OUR GEM. I HAVE YOUR MEMORIES AND EXPERIENCES. THEY ARE ALL THE SAME. IN TERMS OF THAT, THERE IS LITTLE DIFFERENCE.”

“But...there’s still a difference, so what is it?” Steven asked. “Besides, you know, you being the Gem half and me being the human half…”

Pink Steven sighed. “WE ARE DIFFERENT IN MANY WAYS, AS MUCH AS I DON’T LIKE IT.” He explained. “I AM QUICK AND EFFICIENT. THAT IS HOW I DEALT WITH WHITE DIAMOND. A SHOW OF FORCE TO GET HER TO BACK DOWN. MEANWHILE YOU LIKE TO TALK THINGS OUT AND ONLY FIGHT IF IT IS ABSOLUTELY NECESSARY.”

“That “show of force” almost hurt our family and the other Diamonds you know,” Steven said. “You knocked them to the ground. What if you had-”

“I WAS FULLY AWARE OF WHAT I WAS DOING. I ONLY EXERTED ENOUGH ENERGY TO BRING WHITE DIAMOND DOWN AND SHOW HER THAT ATTEMPTING TO STOP ME IS FUTILE. NOTHING ELSE.”

“And exactly how much energy are you _capable_ of exerting?” Steven queried. “What can we...really do if we didn’t hold back?”

“FOR STARTERS, EVEN IF WE DIDN’T HOLD BACK DURING A BATTLE, _EVEN_ WHILE USING OUR DIAMOND STATE-”

“ _Please_ don't call it that,” Steven begged.

“APOLOGIES.” Pink Steven said. “ _EVEN_ WHILE USING OUR PINK FORM, WE WOULD NOT BE ABLE TO FULLY UTILIZE THE POWER THAT WE HAVE CONTAINED WITHIN OUR GEM, OR NAMELY, ME.”

“Why?”

“I WOULD NOT ALLOW US TO. THAT POWER IS TOO MUCH FOR YOU TO HANDLE. YOU WOULDN’T BE ABLE TO CONTROL IT, AND THE END RESULT IS MASS DESTRUCTION TO EVERYTHING AROUND US.”

“How do you know that? Do you have future visions or...” Steven pondered. “Because admittedly, something like that would be really helpful right about now…”

“NO. ONLY SIMPLE SELF-AWARENESS. I AM AWARE OF WHAT I CAN ACCOMPLISH, WHAT YOU CAN ACCOMPLISH, AND WHAT WE CAN ACCOMPLISH. ON YOUR OWN, YOU ARE NOTHING-”

“Gee, thanks, me,” Steven said softly, his gaze dropping to the floor. “Way to bring up my self-esteem.”

“I AM MERELY STATING THE FACTS.” Pink Steven said. “AND BY YOU, I MEANT YOU WHEN YOU ARE SEPARATED FROM ME, LIKE HOW IT WAS BACK IN HOMEWORLD. THE HALF THAT IS JUST HUMAN.”

“Oh,” Steven said, getting vivid flashbacks of his fully human, and dying, self. “Okay, yeah, then that’s pretty accurate. I felt like I was about to die any second back there.”

“YOU COULD HAVE. THE FACT THAT YOU MANAGED TO STAY ALIVE BY THE TIME YOU REACHED ME WAS PURE LUCK ALONE.”

“...Hm.” Steven hummed, having been in too many near-death situations to be affected by this information. “But what were you about to say after that?”

“ON YOUR OWN, YOU ARE NOTHING.” Pink Steven repeated. “WHEN I AM ON MY OWN, I AM EVERYTHING. BUT WHEN WE ARE TOGETHER, WE ARE…” He hesitated, as if searching for the right word. “...SOMETHING.”

“Yeah. It’s always “something”.” Steven coughed. “But ignoring all that for now, I was about to ask you _something_ earlier...are you okay?”

“WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY THAT?”

“Uh...shouldn’t you already know?” Steven asked. “Same person...same thoughts...all that?”

“WHEN WE ARE FUSED NORMALLY ON THE OUTSIDE, YES. OUR THOUGHTS ARE USUALLY THE SAME. ALTHOUGH OCCASIONALLY I PULL BACK WHEN I FEEL LIKE I AM UNCOMFORTABLE WITH THE WAY THINGS ARE TRANSPIRING.”

“Such as…?”

“WHENEVER WE GO INTO THE PINK FORM, I LEAVE. BECAUSE IF I DIDN’T, I’D HAVE TO SHARE OUR MIND WITH SOMETHING ELSE. THE VOICE THAT SPEAKS FOR THE PINK FORM, JUST AS I SPEAK FOR OUR GEM.”

“Wha-are you saying that it’s its own _separate being_?” Steven asked. “That it’s _alive?”_

“NOT IN THE TRADITIONAL SENSE. AND TECHNICALLY, NO. IT IS NOT A SEPARATE BEING. JUST THE EMOTIONS INSIDE OF US, FUELED BY THE ANGER AND RAGE WE NEED TO GO PINK, THAT EVENTUALLY FORM INTO AN INNER VOICE WHOSE SOLE PURPOSE IS TO MAKE SURE WE STAY THAT WAY FOR AS LONG AS POSSIBLE.”

“Why does it do that?”

“SELF-PRESERVATION.” Pink Steven replied. “WITHOUT THE FORM, IT DOESN’T EXIST.”

Steven covered his face with his hands and groaned. “You know, if your goal was to convince me that the pink form isn’t a completely separate consciousness living inside our head, you’re failing. Quite badly I might add. I mean, self-preservation? Trying to make sure it lasts as long as possible? How can you tell me it _isn’t_ sentient?”

“IT IS COMPLICATED. IT SEEMS SENTIENT BECAUSE INTERNALLY, WE DON’T WANT IT TO BE PART OF US. WE DON’T WANT SOMETHING THAT VILE AND POISONOUS TO BE A PART OF OUR MIND, BUT IT IS.”

“Vile and poisonous?” Steven repeated, before realization dawned on him and he bit the inside of his cheek. “Oh god...I know who you're talking about now. The “other side”, right? That thing from earlier that kept telling me to let go and forget all my friends and punish the Diamonds for stuff?”

“YES. ALTHOUGH IT IS CURRENTLY ABSENT. IT RETREATED INTO YOUR SUBCONSCIOUS A SHORT WHILE AGO. THERE IS NOTHING IT CAN DO TO FULLY INFLUENCE YOU WHILE I AM HERE, AS I AM IMMUNE TO ITS TEMPTATIONS.”

“How?”

“BECAUSE IT IS TRYING TO BRING YOU DOWN WITH EMOTIONS. A CONCEPT THAT I AM MOSTLY DEVOID OF.”

“You sounded surprised earlier when I didn't recognize you,” Steven recalled. “That's an emotion.”

“I SAID _MOSTLY._ ” Pink Steven claimed. “BUT THE “OTHER SIDE”, AS YOU CALL IT, IS NOT A CONCERN AT THE MOMENT. IT IS JUST YOU AND ME NOW. US.”

“Let me guess,” Steven said. “We’re going to talk about our feelings and try to find a way to resolve this whole situation.”

“...YES.”

“Okay, but why though? Why do you need my help? I thought you said you were going to handle this yourself.”

“I DID SAY THAT YES.” Pink Steven admitted. “HOWEVER, I DID NOT FULLY FINISH. I DO HAVE PLANS TO TAKE CARE OF THIS MYSELF IF THERE IS NO OTHER ALTERNATIVE, BUT I WOULD LIKE US TO TRY AND FIX IT TOGETHER WITHOUT MY COMPLETE INTERVENTION. BECAUSE IF STEVEN CAN’T FIX THIS, THEN HE WON’T BE ABLE TO FIX ANYTHING. AND THAT WILL LEAD TO DEVASTATION.”

“You said that already.”

“THEN PERHAPS IT NEEDED TO BE SAID AGAIN. AND DON’T DENY THAT IT DID, BECAUSE I KNOW HOW WE’RE FEELING. YOU THINK THAT NOTHING BAD WILL HAPPEN IF WE LET GO, AS THE PINK STATE WANTED. BUT IT WILL BRING NOTHING BUT DEATH AND MISERY TO OUR FAMILY, OUR FRIENDS, AND EVENTUALLY THE ENTIRE UNIVERSE. IF YOU “LET GO” AS WE ARE, GLOWING AS BRIGHT AS WE ARE, MOST OF LITTLE HOMEWORLD WILL BE DESTROYED, AND ANYONE IN THE BLAST RADIUS WILL DIE OR BE HEAVILY INJURED.”

“But...Bismuth was standing right next to us.” Steven said fearfully. “Does that mean she’ll-”

“YES. BISMUTH WILL BE KILLED INSTANTANEOUSLY.” Pink Steven confirmed, not a single tone of remorse in his voice. “AS WELL AS PEARL, PERIDOT, CONNIE, AND MANY OTHER GEMS WHO SHOULD BE ARRIVING BACK FROM THEIR HUNT FOR US RELATIVELY SOON.”

“No...” Steven gasped in horror. “We have to help them then! We have to-”

“DO NOT WORRY. WE HAVE TIME. RIGHT NOW, TIME ON THE OUTSIDE IS MOVING MUCH, MUCH SLOWER THAN IT IS IN HERE. WE HAVE TIME TO TALK AND PLAN. ALTHOUGH NOT LETTING GO IS ONLY ONE OF TWO CONCERNS AT THE MOMENT. THE PINK STATE HAD BROUGHT SOME...UNFORESEEABLE EFFECTS WITH IT THIS TIME.”

“Oh great, so we can manipulate _time_ now?” Steven scoffed. “Next you're going to tell me we can take over other people’s minds like White and…” He paused and Steven’s eyes darted to the side with a look of suspicion, as if he just realized he missed a crucial detail. “..What kind of unforeseeable effects are we talking about?”

“AS OF RIGHT NOW, WE ARE CURRENTLY DRAINING ALL THE OXYGEN IN THE SURROUNDING AREA, THROUGH THE USE OF OUT PINK AURA. ALTHOUGH NO GEMS EXCEPT AMETHYST WERE HARMED BY THIS, IT IS CAUSING DAMAGE TO THE NEARBY FOREST, AND WILL SOON SPREAD TO THE TOWN, THE REST IF THE STATE, AND EVENTUALLY THE PLANET IF WE DO NOT STOP IT. AS OF RIGHT NOW…” He hesitated, as if for dramatic effect. “...WE ARE A WALKING END OF THE WORLD SCENARIO FOR ALL ORGANIC LIFE.”

“...”

“...”

“...”

“DON'T FAINT.” Pink Steven requested, knowing that a freak out from his human half was due. “NOT THAT YOU CAN IN HERE, BUT TRY AND KEEP IT TOGETHER.”

“C-co-con…” Steven choked out, looking like he had been slapped in the face by every member of his family. “C-Connie. I-is she alright? Where is she? Are we hurting her?”

“I DO NOT KNOW. SHE IS LIKELY STILL IN LITTLE HOMEWORLD, SO IT WOULD NOT BE ERRONEOUS TO ASSUME THAT OUR AURA IS CURRENTLY TAKING ITS TOLL. SO YES, IT IS LIKELY THAT WE ARE HURTING HER.”

“Taking its toll?!” Steven shrieked, now wearing an expression of pure terror for his possibly dying girlfriend.

“WOULD YOU PREFER I USE ANOTHER DEFINITION?” Pink Steven asked. “I THOUGHT UTILIZING THAT ONE WOULD BE MORE COMFORTABLE FOR THEN YOU SAYING THAT IT IS CURRENTLY KILLING HER.”

“Are you-!” Steven spat, before closing his eyes as he attempted to calm himself down. "Remember what he said." He told himself. "Time runs differently here. Even if Connie is…" Steven's breathing quivered as his heart rate began to rise. "...running out of a-air, we have time to save her. We can get her out of here, and-"

“IT WON'T WORK.” Pink Steven interjected. “WE CANNOT BE ANYWHERE NEAR CONNIE AT THE MOMENT. THE CLOSER SHE IS TO US, THE MORE DANGEROUS FOR HER IT BECOMES. IF WE CARRIED HER OUT OF LITTLE HOMEWORLD IN AN ATTEMPT TO GET HER TO SAFETY, SHE’D HAVE NO AIR TO BREATH IN SUCH A CLOSE PROXIMITY TO US, AND WOULD SUFFOCATE IN A SECOND. NOT TO MENTION THE FACT THAT _WE_ ARE OBVIOUSLY THE PRODUCERS OF THIS OXYGEN DESTROYING AURA, AND THUS GETTING HER AWAY FROM LITTLE HOMEWORLD WOULDn't ACCOMPLISH ANYTHING IF WE WERE AT HER SIDE THE WHOLE TIME.” 

Steven took a moment to process this and then cursed. “Of all the…” He started, before clutching part of his hair with one hand and getting an urge to rip it out of his scalp. “Why?!” He yelled. “Why do we have this...aura?! Why is it killing everyone?! Why would our mom even _have_ a power like this in the first place?! They're all inherited from her, right?! What is that all about?!”

“I AM NOT ENTIRELY SURE.” Pink Steven said, sounding disappointed in himself.

“W-what?” Steven said. “You’re not sure? But I thought you were supposed to know all this stuff about our powers! Stuff that I don’t know! Although, I’m not sure how that works, considering the whole same person thing…” Steven zoned for a moment before shaking his head. “...But whatever! How do you not know?!”

“I AM NOT SURE WHAT YOU ARE ASKING ME.” Pink Steven replied. “I SIMPLY DO NOT KNOW. THE INFORMATION WAS NEVER PRESENTED TO ME, AND-”

“Okay, I think I should rephrase my question,” Steven said. “Do you have any idea _why_ it might be happening?”

“IT COULD BE A SORT OF GAMBLE.”

“A _gamble?_ ” Steven repeated. “Well...who’s gamble?! Who’s laying the cards on the table?”

“I BELIEVE THE MOST LIKELY OPTION IS-”

“ _Me.”_ A sudden sinister sounding voice said, which Steven recognized instantly as his dreaded “Other Side”. He paused, facepalmed, and fought back an urge to let out a scream of exasperation, knowing that doing so was pointless under the circumstances. “This day just keeps getting worse and worse…”

“YOU.” Pink Steven growled, something that knocked Steven out of his annoyed state and back into his terrified one. “WHAT ARE YOU DOING THAT’S MAKING US-”

“I'm doing what's necessary!” The Other Side shouted. “What has to happen to save Steven, to save _you_ pinkie. You know this has to happen. You are the calmest and most level-headed out of any of us. Surely you see why this must be happening.”

“YOUR LOGIC IS FLAWED. EVERYTHING ABOUT YOU IS FLAWED, WRONG, AND CONTEMPTIBLE. YOU ARE NOTHING BUT A PRE-EXISTING POWER THAT WE INHERITED FROM OUR _MOTHER_.” Pink Steven spat defensively, empathizing the word “mother” with pure abhorrent rage. “YOU ARE NOT SOMETHING STEVEN NEEDS. OR ANYONE ELSE NEEDS.”

“ _You_ are the one who is in the wrong here!” The Other Side shouted back. “And who are you to talk about flaws? So many times that Steven needed your help, but you sat by, inside his Gem, doing nothing. He almost bit it every damn day, simply because you were too much a coward to come out and fight!”

“IT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH COWARDICE.” Pink Steven said. “THERE ARE MANY REASONS WHY I DID NOT “COME OUT”. FOR ONE, IT IS ACTUALLY IMPOSSIBLE FOR ME TO-”

“I don't want to hear excuses and I’m sure he doesn't either!” The Other Side shrieked. “It doesn't matter what your precious “reasons” are, you still weren’t there and that’s what’s important. You only appeared when White literally _forced_ you too!”

“I AM HERE NOW.” Pink Steven pointed out.

“Oooh….I am here now.” The Other Side mocked. “Yeah. Great timing. But it doesn't matter. We're doing _my_ plan. My logic is undeniable.”

“FLAWED.” Pink Steven insisted.

“Undeniable.”

“FLAWED.”

“Undeniable!”

“FLAWED!”

“UNDENIAB-”

“Can you two please _SHUT UP?!?!_ ” Steven yelled, shocking them both into silence. “ _Don't_ start ripping each other’s heads off without me having a say in it!”

“WE CANNOT “RIP EACH OTHERS HEAD OFF”.” Pink Steven said, taking it much too literally. “NEITHER OF US HAVE BODIES IN HERE AT THE MOMENT. AND EVEN IF WE CONSTRUCTED THEM, HURTING THEM WOULD DO NOTHING. CAUSING REAL HARM TO EACH OTHER WOULD REQUIRE OTHER METHODS.”

“You’re taking that much too literally, and you’re also missing the point! I don’t want any fights going on in our head! We already have enough to deal with without _you two_ squabbling like an old married couple!” Steven said, deciding that if he was going to take control of the situation, now was the opportunity. “So stop yelling, because that’s not going to get us anywhere. Got it?”

“...”

“...”

“HE IS RIGHT.” Pink Steven said. “OUR DISPUTES ARE A WASTE OF TIME. WE HAVE MUCH MORE PRESSING MATTERS TO ATTEND TO.”

“Yeah...” The Other Side agreed. “But this isn't over. Steven _will_ get through this. But with my way, not yours.”

“YOUR WAY IS-”

“No, stop, both of you,” Steven interjected. He rubbed his eyes and began wishing he was anywhere but here. “Come on. Why do you guys hate each other so much? I get that you have conflicting opinions, but this is just...pure contempt. Is something happening between you two that I don't know about?”

“I HAVE NO TRUE CONTEMPT TOWARDS THIS YAMMERING FOOL.” Pink Steven said, although his tone was saying something quite different. “BUT IT IS TRYING TO HARM US. IT’S PLAN OF GETTING US TO LET GO WILL ONLY RESULT IN DEATH, LIKE I MENTIONED EARLIER. WE WILL GAIN NOTHING, AND LOSE EVERYTHING.”

“That's where you're _wrong_.” The Other Side said. “Yes, letting go with all our energy will cause the deaths of some, but it is a _necessary_ sacrifice. Steven will be stronger than ever before. We will be able to protect everyone! The Gems, Beach City, our father, Connie-”

“IF CONNIE IS STILL IN LITTLE HOMEWORLD, THEN SHE IS IN THE BLAST RADIUS. IT’D BE IMPOSSIBLE FOR HER TO SURVIVE. YOUR LOGIC…”

“Don’t say it…” The Other Side warned.

“...IS FLAWED.” Pink Steven finished, and Steven almost thought he sounded smug.

“And there it is.” The Other Side seethed. “That right there. That is why I detest you pinkie. You are weak. You may think you are strong, you may claim you are stronger and wiser than any of us, but you are nothing on your own. Oh? What’s that? You protected us from White Diamond’s eye rays?” It asked rhetorically. “Give me a break. She was holding back and you know. If she wanted to kill us, we’d have been dead in a second. She was trying to control us, not murder us. You’re not the great overpowered thing you make yourself out to be.”

“NO IDEA.” 

“Huh?”

“YOU HAVE NO IDEA.” Pink Steven said. “YOU ARE NEW TO THIS. I HAVE BEEN AROUND FOR 16 YEARS AS PART OF STEVEN. YOU HAVE BEEN AROUND FOR NO MORE THAN A FEW HOURS. YOU UNDERSTAND NOTHING. YOU WANT TO THINK YOU ARE BETTER THAN EVERYONE ELSE BECAUSE DEEP DOWN, YOU KNOW YOU ARE THE YOUNGEST, THE LEAST EXPERIENCED, AND THE WORST AT MAKING DECISIONS. COMPARED TO ME AND STEVEN, YOU ARE UTTERLY INSIGNIFICANT.”

“You dare…” The Other Side growled. “You dare-”

“Shut it,” Steven said. “I just told you two to stop your little quarreling. Can you guys not be at each other"s throats for seconds?”

“IT IS IN MY NATURE TO PROTECT STEVEN. AND SINCE THIS SIDE OF US TO CAUSING HARM TO HIM, I MUST STOP IT. SO NO.” Pink Steven said. “IF WE DON'T FIGHT, THEN IT WILL WIN AND WE WILL GET HURT..”

“You mean everyone _else_ will get hurt.” The Other Side corrected. “Steven will be perfectly fine.”

“Oh my god.” Steven groaned. “Pink me, didn’t you say only a second ago that this dispute is a waste of time? What happened to that? Is there a _fourth_ person here now?”

“PROBABLY. BUT NOT AT THE MOMENT.” Pink Steven said. “AND I AM ONLY CONTINUING TO ARGUE BECAUSE THE OTHER SIDE IS STILL TRYING TO GET YOU TO LET GO. YOUR ADVICE IS, FRANKLY, UNIMPORTANT COMPARED TO THE TASK OF PREVENTING THAT FROM HAPPENING. I MAY HAVE SAID THAT DISPUTES ARE A WASTE OF TIME, BUT NOW I REALIZE THAT THAT WAS WRONG. THEY ARE THE MOST IMPORTANT THING OF ALL.”

“It's going to happen eventually.” The Other Side spat. “Even you can't stop that.”

“WE SHALL SEE.”

“Okay, can we please move things along?” Steven pleaded. “Even if time runs slower in here, we don’t have forever. Connie could be dying right now because of that oxygen aura! So first things first...how do we turn it off?”

“I HAVE NO POWER OVER THAT JURISDICTION.” Pink Steven said. “THE ONLY ONE WHO DOES IS THE ONE WHO TURNED IT ON IN THE FIRST PLACE.”

“Oh _great._ ” Steven groaned. “That means-”

“Correct!” The Other Side exclaimed. “I have full control of that. The pink state is _me_ , after all, so only I can do things with it. Neither you nor pinkie can stop that without my say.”

“Why?” Steven demanded. “Is it like pink me said? Is this some kind of gamble?”

“Right again.” The Other Side said. “I turned it on to get you to listen. See, I figured that you’d fight me off eventually, or the living lightbulb over there would try and stop me. Surprise surprise, both of those things happened. So yes, I made a gamble. The cards are on the table now, all or nothing. And I’m not leaving without the full pot.”

“Pot?”

“IT'S A POKER TERM.”

“Wait, how do you two know that, and _I_ don’t?” Steven asked. “What kind of screwed-up logic is-”

“ _Therefore…_ ” The Other Side continued. “I will not stop until I get what I want. Until Steven does as he should. Until all is made right by my hand-”

“Don’t you have a mute button or something?” Steven asked, feeling like he heard this speech a billion times before. The Other Side remained silent for a moment afterward, prompting Steven to speak again. “Alright. I feel like I should just derail this train before it ever reaches the station. I’m not going to “let go”. I'm not going to start screaming and killing everyone in Little Homeworld!” He yelled. “That's insane! There is no reason you could come up that’d make me do that! You might have been a little successful earlier, but it won’t work again!” Steven straightened himself and huffed. “That's your problem. You shouldn’t have pushed it so far. You got too eager and too crazed with the whole thing.”

“You're the crazed one.” The Other Side said. “Remember, for months you didn’t need any influence to turn pink and freak out. Why do you think that is?”

Steven opened his mouth to speak, but his voice died in his throat when he realized he didn’t have an answer. That...was actually a very good point. He had just started hearing this Other Side talk to him _today_. Sure, he may have _felt_ like something was going on inside his head, something that he wasn’t able to understand, but nothing like this. This...was too new. Too sudden to fully comprehend.

“Be-because I just couldn’t hear you.” He said. “You were still there. Pulling the strings. Making me do all those awful things. It wasn’t me! It was-”

“Have you so easily forgotten?” The Other Side asked. “Are _we_ that stupid?”

“Oh god no.” Steven groused, the whole “you” and “us” thing getting far too old for his tastes. 

“Like it or not, we come from the same mind.” It said. “Steven. We are all Steven. Me, you, even pinkie over there.”

“STOP CALLING ME PINKI-”

“Shut up, you don’t know anything.” The Other Side sighed, as if Pink Steven was nothing more than a nuisance. “Listen to me, Steven. You think we are different. You think we are opposites. Pinkie has you convinced. You even convinced _yourself_. But I could not have existed without you.”

“No kidding!” Steven shouted. “If Steven didn't exist, then you wouldn’t! Why else-”

“I did not mean it like that.” The Other Side objected. “Think about it, Steven. Why am I only appearing now? Months of this, months of pain caused by your mother. And yet, my voice only speaks to you at this time, in a moment of doubt. But how many moments of doubt have you had over those months? Hundreds? Yes, I think that is the correct answer.” It surmised. “So...why did I show up in this one? What's so special about it?”

“Be...because you...I don't know.” Steven admitted. But that wasn’t the truth. He was starting to get an idea of why this was all happening. But the truth was so horrible that he didn’t want to believe it. He wouldn’t... _couldn’t_ have…

“No. You _could_. And you _did._ ” The Other Side said. “You know now, don’t you? Do you know what I am? You see...pinkie was right. Your assumptions were correct. I am not fully you. However…” It hissed, speaking with a sly tone. “...You always did have a knack for creating life. Just like her.

“You-you’re lying!” Steven cried out. “I would never do that to myself. If something happened, I’d take responsibility. Not create some stupid…” He grit his teeth. “... _alter-ego_ to take the blame for me!”

“I DON’T UNDERSTAND.” Pink Steven said, which was a first for him. 

“Don't you get it pinkie?!” The Other Side roared enthusiastically. “You thought this whole time that I was the manifestation of the pink state. Wrong! Didn’t you ever wonder why you never saw me until now?” It asked, leaving Pink Steven speechless as he began to get an idea. “The truth is...Steven subconsciously created me a few hours ago as a way to make himself think that none of his actions the past few months was his own fault, but mine.”

It laughed, and the crack above glowed even brighter and bathed Steven in its light.

“He created a _monster_ to take the blame _for_ him.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And Pink Steven makes his appearance, with plenty of complaints. Although I suppose he's allowed to gripe as much as he wants considering all the nonsense he's witnessed over the past hour or so. The next couple of chapters will make him a "necessary evil" of sorts, and...I'll guess you'll just have to wait to see what that means. I don't want to spoil anything. But I will say that under all that and those blank expressions, he carries a _lot_ of emotions.


	13. Split

“He created a _monster_ to take the blame _for_ him.”

“...”

“...”

“...”

“SO?” Pink Steven scoffed, completely unaffected by this as if he had known all along. “THAT DOESN’T CHANGE ANYTHING. YOU’RE STILL JUST A FRAGMENT OF OUR MIND THAT IS UNNECESSARY, EVEN MORE SO NOW. YOU BASICALLY JUST CALLED YOURSELF USELESS. STEVEN DOESN'T NEED YOU. _WE_ DON'T NEED YOU, IF WHAT YOU SAID IS THE TRUTH.”

“It’s not like that!” The Other Side protested. “Don’t you see? Without me, Steven would only sink deeper and deeper into his well of despair, broken by the fact that all of this is his fault.”

“AND SO YOU DECIDED THAT THE BEST WAY TO HELP HIM WAS TO REVEAL THAT?”

“I have my reasons, as you have yours.” The Other Side scoffed. “Don’t act like _you_ could come up with a plan that doesn’t require a few sacrifices. In fact, what exactly do you plan to do? How are you going to solve this mess?”

“BY TAKING CONTROL OF STEVEN AND SHUTTING OUR PINK STATE OFF. THEN I WILL RETURN HERE, ERASE YOU FROM EXISTENCE, AND HELP STEVEN’S HUMAN HALF GET THROUGH THIS SO WE CAN PREVENT ANYTHING LIKE _YOU_ FROM EVER HAPPENING AGAIN.”

“I’m shaking in my boots.” The Other Side said sarcastically. “Do you really think you can erase me?”

“THERE IS NO REASON THAT I CAN’T.” Pink Steven said. “I AM ONE HALF OF STEVEN. ONE HALF OF HIS MIND. YOU ARE NOTHING BUT A BROKEN PIECE OF IT, A FRAGMENT OF GLASS THAT NEEDS TO BE REPLACED. STEVEN’S MIND IS A WINDOW PANE, AND IT REQUIRES A CLEANING THAT WILL ERADICATE YOU AND ANYTHING LIKE YOU. OH, AND STEVEN, BEFORE YOU MENTION ANYTHING ABOUT WHAT I SAID EARLIER, ABOUT HOW WE CAN’T HURT UNLESS IT'S THROUGH OTHER METHODS, THIS IS WHAT I WAS TALKING ABOUT.”

Steven opened his mouth to respond, likely to say “okay”, followed by telling them to stop or something equally benign, but the Other Side beat him to the punch.

“Wow. You’re relying on window metaphors to scare me.” It scoffed. “ _Very_ impressive. But there is nothing “like me”. I am the only fragment that Steven created. And there _is_ a reason that you can’t.”

“AND WHAT WOULD THAT BE?”

“ _Steven_ created me.” The Other side seethed. “The human half of Steven. _Not_ you. You have no power over me, only human Steven does. You think you’re so high and mighty, being the most powerful Gem in existence. Maybe out there, this is true. But in here, you’re _far_ from being the top dog.”

“AND WHAT ARE YOU?” Pink Steven asked. “IF ME AND STEVEN ARE “DOGS”, THEN YOU ARE A PUP. TRYING TO TAKE ON THREATS FIFTY TIMES BIGGER THAN YOU, BUT IN REALITY, WHEN THOSE THREATS GET TIRED OF YOUR ANTICS AND FIGHT BACK, YOU ARE HELPLESS AND WEAK.”

“Are you sure?” The Other Side asked. “Look up pinkie. See that crack? See how big it is? That’s my doing. _Mine_.”

“THAT HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU. THE CRACK WAS ALREADY GIGANTIC BY THE TIME YOU ARRIVED A FEW HOURS AGO. YOUR PRESENCE SIMPLY ACCELERATES THE GROWTH.”

“Accelerates. _Sure_.” The Other Side said, sounding like it was rolling its eyes. “Okay, I’ve had about enough of you. I think it’s time to say-”

“No, I’ve had enough of _both_ of you.” Steven interrupted, wondering why he hadn’t stopped this earlier. “That’s...enough. Enough of your petty fights. _I_ have something to say now. To all of us. Other Side?” 

“Yesssss?” It hissed, sensing that it wouldn’t like what Steven said next.

“Pink me is right.” He declared. “I don’t need you anymore. While you two were bickering, I thought about it and…who knows. Maybe I _did_ create you like you claim. But I don’t hate myself for doing it. Because I think I did need something like you to take the blame. To make up for all the pain I caused. But not anymore. From this point on, it's _my_ responsibility. Whatever happens with that pink form is my fault and my fault alone. So stop trying to poison me with your lies and whatnot.” He sighed. “It’s never going to work. Especially not now.”

“What?!” The Other Side yelled indignantly. “You don’t need me? Then what was I even created for? If you cast me aside this quickly, then you’re no better than your _mother_. Who cast you aside, just like Spinel, the Gems, Greg, and everyone else-”

“ _And_ I’ve decided that I should probably uncreate you and get it over with.” Steven continued, clearly unaffected by this outburst. “And I don’t have to feel guilty about it either. After all, you’re not even _real_. I think you said something along those lines earlier. You’re just a figment of my imagination, something I made up to feel better. So yeah. Enjoy the next few seconds of your life.”

“You-! YOU LITTLE-”

“Pink,” Steven interjected. “I appreciate the offer, but this is something I feel like I need to tackle on my own. Once I erase this one over here, I don’t think I need you to take Steven over to sort this out. I’ll do it myself, and start making things better. I promise.”

“BUT YOU CAN’T CONFIRM THAT YOU WILL SUCCEED.” Pink Steven protested. “YOU MIGHT FAIL, AND EVERYTHING WILL HAVE BEEN FOR NOTHING.”

“That could also happen,” Steven admitted. “But I’ve heard enough from both sides of this argument to figure that both of you are wrong. I don’t need someone else to do the work for me. I should try and strive to do it myself. Because that’s what’s happening. I’ve been so focused on other people!” Steven threw his hands in the air and stared up at the gash in the sky.

“My friends. The Gems. Connie…” He whispered. “I paid attention to them so much the past few months. Texting Connie nonstop, to the point where she sent one text for my ten. Trying to prevent my friends from leaving, and then encasing them in a dome because of it! Pushing the Gems away, because I’m afraid of what they’ll think of me. And the Diamonds...I think of them more than I see them, which is never! I’m so focused on trying to avoid them, that I never noticed they’re basically inside my head 24/7!”

“THIS IS TRUE.” Pink Steven said. “I HAVE NOTICED THE EXCESSIVE AMOUNT OF TIME WE SPEND ON TRYING TO MAKE OTHER PEOPLE HAPPY, OR TRY TO MAKE OURSELVES HAPPY BECAUSE OF THEM. IT IS UNHEALTHY.”

“No kidding. That’s the whole point!” Steven said. “But the problem is that’s just who...we are. We want to help. We’ve always wanted to help others. Sure, we’ve had a few selfish moments over the years, but we always come back to making sure everyone is comfortable before we are. And I think that’s the cause of this whole thing.” He declared. “We were so _focused_ on the needs of our friends, that we didn’t take care of our own until it was too late! And now look where we are! An evil voice in our head, becoming an atmosphere destroying planet-killer, and with a giant crack that’s only going to get-”

“SMALLER.”

“What?”

“THE CRACK...IS SMALLER.” Pink Steven revealed, causing Steven to look upwards He squinted up at the giant fissure and gasped, before a smile spread across his face. Pink Steven was right. It _wasn’t_ as wide as before, and wasn't glowing as brightly either. Whatever that look into his soul had done to Steven, it had also proved that things _could_ get better. The shrinkage of the literal tear in his mind was the perfect example.

He just needed to figure out how.

“I don’t believe it…” He said. “We’re actually...improving?”

“ONLY BY A LITTLE.” Pink Steven said. “BUT YES. WHAT YOU SAID SEEMED TO HELP US.” He almost sounded perplexed, as if his brain was an overloading computer trying to figure out too many things at once. “THIS IS CERTAINLY NOT WHAT I WAS EXPECTING. I DIDN’T THINK YOU HAD IT IN YOU TO SOLVE ONE OF OUR PROBLEMS THAT QUICKLY.”

“That...okay. That hurts.” Steven deadpanned.

“NOT IN THE WAY THAT _REALLY_ HURTS US.” Pink Steven said. “AND AT THE CURRENT MOMENT, THAT IS WHAT IS IMPORTANT. BUT YOU HAVE PROVEN THAT WE CAN FIX THIS WITHOUT ME HAVING TO TAKE OVER. I’M COMING DOWN. I THINK WE SHOULD TALK FACE TO FACE.”

“Coming down?” Steven asked. “What do you-”

Before he could say anything else, a bright light suddenly flared up in front of him, making him instinctively cover his eyes and turn away. For a second he thought that the light from the crack had been lit up to insane levels, but soon it started to dim. And there, standing right in front of him like he owned the place, was a pink facade of himself. Steven’s Gem half. The same one from all those years ago, only now identical to how he looked now. The jacket, an actual neck, everything. His expression was blank just like last time, but Steven thought he could almost make out a smile on the edge of his mouth.

“Oh.” He said. “That’s what you meant.”

“I am sorry if that distressed you in any way.” Pink Steven said. His voice was no longer that of an omnipresent being, but instead was now a simple robotic and monotone voice. Like a clone of him that had just been taught how to speak. “I am certain that me appearing with little warning was rather alarming for you.”

“It’s okay. I’ve had a fair share of “alarming” stuff happen to me today.” Steven said, rubbing his eyes to get the spots out of them. “This is just a drop in the bucket.”

“A bucket that’s getting dangerously close to overfilling.” Pink Steven said. “But I digress. After seeing that crack heal, I am no longer confident that you are unable to handle this without my help.”

“You sorta said that already.” Steven pointed out. “But if that’s the truth, then why’d you come down here like this?”

“Because there is still much to discuss. This is far from over.” Pink Steven said. Steven’s eyes flicked with fear at this, recalling the disaster that was currently taking place in the real world, but his glowing counterpart seemed to read his mind and responded appropriately. “Do not worry.” He said. “We still have time to save Connie, and then everyone else. It may be possible for us to deactivate our pink state from within this mindscape. Permanently.”

“...Okay.” Steven said quietly, deciding it’d be best to trust his Pink half’s judgment. “So when exactly are we doing that…?”

“It is not a question of when, but how.” Pink Steven said. He sat down on the ground, his legs crossed, and motioned for Steven to do the same. The hybrid hesitated for a moment, but reluctantly took a seat, uncomfortable as the ground was. “Good. Now, I think the first thing we need to talk about is how _you_ believe you should disperse the pink state.”

“Wait, I thought you were going to make this be a team effort.” Steven half-asked. “I know you said I might be able to handle it on my own now, but I don’t really like the sound of how you said “might”, and kinda assumed you were going to help out anyways. I mean, if you’re letting me go solo, I’m not complaining because I _just_ requested that I do this by myself, but...I didn’t expect you to go along with it.”

“Agreed. But this is making sure that I am correct in that assumption.” Pink Steven said. “I am still “on the fence” as you would say, about whether or not I should take over and ignore your request to let you go off on your own. You healed a small part of the fissure, but this is not enough. That part you repaired could easily come back if you lose control again, and make all of this for naught. Earlier, when I made the choice that Steven was going to be under my command until this situation was sorted out, it was one of the hardest things I ever had to do.” Pink Steven looked away like he was ashamed of himself. “There has never been a moment since our birth in which you have not been at the reins. Several times I desired to help, but restrained myself.”

“Why?” Steven asked. “If you could throw me in the backseat and take the wheel whenever you wanted, why didn’t you? I... _Steven_ could have used your help so many times!”

“Because I wanted to see.” Pink Steven said. “I wanted to see if you were a worthy inheritor of the Pink Diamond Gemstone.” He lowered his head and stared at the ground. “However, this was only my motivation early on. Back then, I was different. Afraid for myself, being planted in such a weak and fragile being. I may have been half of Steven, but I had an entirely different personality. Feelings of my own, especially fears.”

“Worthy inheritor of the Pink Diamond Gemstone…” Steven repeated/mumbled. “I’m getting the feeling that I wouldn’t like past you.”

“It is something that I regret.” Pink Steven said. “I was created with full intelligence and an awareness of who. Was and what had happened, unlike you. With _all_ of our mother’s memories. It felt like I knew...everything.”

“You had all her memories?” Steven asked, to which Pink Steven nodded slightly. “Huh. That’s...something. Well, did you hate her for all that stuff back then? All the secrets and the things she did that she never told anyone? You sure seem to do now…”

“That is partially your fault.” Pink Steven said. “I sifted through those memories while we were a baby and I was useless to you. I understood that she wasn’t a monster. She might not even be considered a bad person. She was abused by the Diamonds for millennia for the most trivial of matters, and honestly, compared to them, she’s a saint going by her actions. Of course, the things she did were foolish, even idiotic at times, but she was like a child. A child who had to grow and learn.”

“So what changed your mind? You said it had something to do with me…” Steven recalled. “What could I possibly do to shift your opinion that much?”

“Simply put, it was _your_ opinion on the matter.” Pink Steven said. “Yours was not my own. You looked up to her. Wanted to be like her. But then everything changed. Secrets were revealed, locks were broken, and _you_ changed your mind. Which changed mine as well. Because no matter how hard I tried to resist it, your personality altered mine. I started seeing things your way. And with it...the distrust and mixed feelings about our mother.”

“Oh geez…” Steven said, running a hand over his scalp. “I’m _so_ sorry if that’s my fault. I didn’t mean to do anything like that. I never knew you were here, and-”

“It is alright. I understand.” Pink Steven reassured. “But eventually I grew to hate her even more than you do now.”

“I don’t _hate_ her,” Steven claimed. “I just...have mixed feelings, like you said.”

“Are you sure?” Pink Steven said, tilting his head.

“...No,” Steven admitted. “That’s one of the things I might never come to a clear conclusion about. She’s so complicated. After those visits from the Rose Quartz’s, and everything else that’s been thrown at me...anything that involves me having to even _mention_ her devolves into a total mess. I think I've been trying to avoid her recently in any way I can.”

“Not just recently. I can tell that you will likely continue doing this for the rest of your life.” Pink Steven said. “Pushing any mention of her away from us and just wanting to leave our mother behind, forgotten in the past. Once we see the other side of the coin, that’s the one it will always land on.”

“I-I’m not sure if I’d go that far,” Steven said. “I just need a break from my... _our_ mother. Everyone does. You’ve seen how the others are feeling. They still revere her. But when the Zoo arrived with the Rose Quartz’s...they avoided it like those Gems had the plague.”

“It is understandable that they would be uncomfortable.” Pink Steven said. “They have spent the last decade and a half getting used to the fact that Pink/Rose is gone, and those Gems brought up some painful memories they’d have rather forgotten.”

“I can relate.” Steven coughed. “Although sometimes I wish I had the kind of willpower they do. Fought in a war for a thousand years and they didn’t even go the slightest bit insane? Meanwhile, I’ve only been around for a fraction of that time and already feel like I could die on a daily basis! That’s something I’d _kill_ for-”

“...”

“...”

Steven paused and shook his head slightly. “It’s...something I really, really want.” He reworded, almost slapping himself for using the “k” word.

“But that’s where you’re incorrect. Remember, you don’t want the same mind I have.” Pink Steven said. “Yes, it does have its perks. The fact that it's nearly impossible for a Gem to go conventionally “insane” is one of them. They have infinite memory storage space. They can handle trauma much better than humans. But if you had the mind of a Gem, then there would be no Steven.”

“Uh...yes there would.” Steven disagreed. “Sure, some parts of me might be different, but it’s not like I’d be raised another way. If anything, it could help! Infinite memory? No trauma? If that was the case, this wouldn’t have happened! We’d be out there, _much_ happier than we are now! What’s bad about it?”

Pink Steven stared at him and hesitated to answer. Steven brought up several good points, some of which he couldn’t make a compelling case against. At least not any that’d change his mind. But if Steven knew just how...bad things could get if he had the mind of a Gem, he’d understand. He’d get why Pink was so against him having something like that.

No time like the present.

“No.” Pink Steven, in a commanding sort of voice. “You were correct earlier. The Gems fought in the war for a thousand years and don’t have that much trauma from the countless horrors they witnessed. Only things such as Pearl’s memories of Pink or Lapis’s brief time on the battlefield are sure to cause things such as PTSD or constant flashbacks. But there is still a difference between what they went through and what we did.”

“And that is…?” Steven asked expectantly.

“They expected it.” Pink Steven said. “They knew it was coming. They knew what they were getting themselves into. All of them did. In our mother's memories, I saw her as Rose Quartz. Debriefing her troops. On the things they might witness and the things they might be forced to do out there. So they were ready. They were prepared for shatterings and torture and the pain and grief of losing an ally, or worse, a part of themselves.”

“Okay...and how exactly does-”

“But _we_ were not fully ready.” Pink Steven interjected. “Most of the traumatizing things we went through were usually thrown at us with no warning. And even if we had a warning, the attacks were still sudden. And no matter what, we were always powerless at the beginning. Unable to do anything against whatever overwhelming force had launched themselves at us. It took time. But by then, the damage had already been done. Both physically, and mentally.”

“Okay, that’s...actually pretty accurate.” Steven noted, going over several moments that he considered “traumatic” in his head. (All 500 of them). “But that’s not how we’re doing things now! We have the power to stop that kind of stuff! Bluebird, Jasper when we fought a few months ago, the two Lapis’s, those aren’t what I’d called traumatic. I haven’t had any nightmares about those things.”

“Because we were mature then, and used to it.” Pink Steven said. “We were ready to fight Jasper. We expected Bluebird to turn on us. We knew those Lapis’s would be a hassle. We were ready, just like _them.”_ He bellowed. “But back then, we were far from ready. We saw more violence in a week than most people see throughout their entire life. The Gems raised us to be good and to help the Earth, but they never fully understood human emotions.”

“Don’t tell you’re blaming them for this,” Steven mumbled. “Because that’s what the “Other Side” tried to do. Made me think that it was all _their_ fault and that I had to-”

“I was not inferring that they were completely behind our current mental state. Merely that they were a contributing factor.” Pink Steven said. “Of which there are many. Dozens. If you want the truth, it is that everyone has played a small part in this game. We made the most important moves, but they all cheered from the sidelines, oblivious to how tired we were getting and how few goals we were scoring.”

“Interesting way to put it…” Steven muttered. “But if I was a player, and they were on the sidelines...who’s on the other end of the field?”

“Our thoughts.” Pink Steven said. “Dragging us down. Doing all it could to beat us and let the darkness and grief and anguish take over.” Pink Steven elucidated. “A game was played back then, in one way or another. We could have easily turned into a monster. Become fed up with everything and everyone. The Gems, our father, Connie...what if we got tired of them treating us the way they did?” He pondered. “What if we turned just like the corrupted Gems? Not in the physical sense, but the mental.”

“...Okay, I don’t know where you’re going with this, but the implications are making me _really_ uncomfortable.” Steven said nervously. “Can we-”

“No, we have to hear this. Both of us.” Pink Steven said. “What would we become if that happened? What would we _do_ to them? The ones we believed had caused all the hardships in our life?” He gazed at Steven expectantly like he had any sort of answer.

“W-why are you asking me?” Steven gaped. “I don’t know! I don’t even want to answer a question like that because I’d never let it happen!”

“You almost did. Only a few minutes ago.” Pink Steven pointed out, making Steven raise his eyebrows in surprise. “You were entirely ready to scream your frustrations at the world and kill all of them in the process. If the Other Side hadn’t rambled on and got too eager, it might have actually succeeded. Done what you created it to do.”

“But...I wouldn’t...oh god. You...you’re right…” Steven sobbed, tears streaming from his face as he suddenly broke down again. “Even now...just a few seconds ago...I might’ve...I almost…”

“Turned into a monster.” Pink Steven repeated. “The potential is still there you should know, locked deep within. And this Other Side was trying to pick that lock. Because the pink state is only the beginning. When I say _monster_ , I mean it literally.”

“I’m not even going to ask about that.” Steven cried, wiping some tears off his face. “Something for later.”

“Good. Then answer my question right now.” Pink Steven ordered. “What would we do, if we blamed them for our faults?”

“I...I’m sure what to say to that,” Steven admitted. “If I truly b-believed that they were the cause of all of this, of the pink state and-”

“No.” Pink Steven interjected. “Not _this_. Not any of this. I’m talking about back then. Before White and Homeworld. Before we brought “peace” across the galaxy. When we didn’t even wear that jacket. What could we have done?”

“...I-I don’t know,” Steven said softly. “The old me...b-blamed himself for everything. He never let anyone else be in the wrong. Always looking to help. Always trying to find a better and peaceful way to sort things out. B-but now I’m so much different. Heck, earlier I agreed to fight Jasper in exchange for information! Old me never would have done that! He’d never fight if it wasn’t necessary!”

“Let’s not get sidetracked.” Pink Steven said, even though sidetracking was the only thing the two of them had been doing. “But you bring up a good point. We are vastly different from our past selves. But you have to stop thinking about what _we’d_ do and about what _he’d_ do. If he felt that everyone had betrayed him, and became fed up with this world, what might happen? Would he attack, you think? Go out one night and dispose of them all as revenge for bringing all this pain and-”

“NO, PINK, DON’T SAY ANYTHING MORE!” Steven shouted, who had just been transformed into a sweaty, nervous mess from all the thoughts Pink him was pouring into his head. “Don’t...please don’t. I can’t even think about that.” He took a few deep breaths and gazed at the ground. “We might get angry, okay? We might yell at them. We’d probably run away. But we’d never... _never_...go out and systematically _m-murder_ them for that.” He gasped. “To sink that deep...nothing that we went through could have caused anywhere near that level of resentment.”

“Perhaps. But it almost did.” Pink Steven said. “A little push, a few more pieces of the puzzle perhaps, and…” He snapped his fingers. “...the end. The only reason that didn’t happen was because we were raised somewhat decently, as I told you. And also because of how much they supported us. Because the Other Side was right about one thing. We are _very_ open to suggestion. To the point where sometimes it felt like we had no free will of our own. Always looking to others for guidance. Always searching for answers.”

“That...that’s blowing things out of perspective,” Steven said, rubbing his arms. “We may have preferred it sometimes when the Gems told us what to do on a mission, but do you even remember how many times we ran off?! We might have liked listening to the Gems about what we had to do, but we were also...reckless.”

“Our constant recklessness is not the same as “wanting to do our own thing”.” Pink Steven said. “But you do bring up an interesting point. Why do you think we were so reckless?”

“Mostly the fact that we were always trying to help out, but just got ourselves or the Gems in trouble because of it,” Steven recalled. “We stopped doing it eventually, but in the early days...it was hard for us to learn a lesson. Heck, we even jumped in front of that blast from the warship. If we’re going with “reckless”, then that takes the cake.”

“I’m sure we could find a few contenders if we searched hard enough.” Pink Steven said. “But I think the main point of all of this is that Steven was very lucky. All that power at his fingertips...it’s a miracle we managed to keep it together as long as we did.”

“If that’s what you want to call it…” Steven mumbled. “But I _still_ disagree with you from earlier. No matter how much I blamed them for things, I’d never kill them out of revenge. I don’t even know how we’d get to that point! Heck, even the Other Side wasn’t trying to convince me to kill them!” He revealed. “Just...punish. But not kill. Where did you get that?”

“You mean _besides_ the fact that it told you to “let go” while Bismuth was, or rather is, right next to us?” Pink Steven said. “Who I said will certainly die if you do so?”

“...”

“I believe the Other Side _also_ said something along the lines of “sacrifices must be made”. That’s not very vague.” Pink Steven whispered. “But there is something else to be told. I might have misspoken earlier and got a little off-topic, when I was discussing the revenge we would take if we hadn’t been raised well. I was never talking about you. I was talking about me.”

“...Wait, what?” Steven said, getting up and slowly backing away from his counterpart. His eyes widened and his heartbeat started steadily climbing at this reveal, while Pink Steven sat there, still as a statue. “W-what do you mean by that? Are you insinuating that _you’d_ be the one to kill them? Why-”

“Because unlike you, I have a harder time keeping my emotions in check when they get out of control.” Pink Steven said. “I know how you must think of me. How you believe I’m an emotionless robot. But that couldn’t be farther than the truth. My emotions guide even more than yours do. I am simply...better at keeping them hidden.”

“Yeah, that’s interesting and all (it actually was, but Steven was concerned with other things at the moment), but what were you going on about a second ago?!” He asked frantically, while the pink glow above their heads grew a little bit brighter.

“I believed that you understood. Obviously, I was mistaken.” Pink Steven sighed. “If we sunk to that level, you wouldn’t be the one at the reins. There would be no “Steven”, there would only be “me”. Handling the problem. Handling _them_.”

“I...still don’t get it.” Steven, although that was mostly only because he didn’t _want_ to. “Back then, if Steven got to that point, _you’d_ take over and get revenge? Not me?”

“Precisely.” Pink Steven said. “And we came close. Our emotions back then were simple. We wanted to help others, no matter what. Lapis, Peridot, Jasper, the Cluster, The Diamonds, Spinel...all of them. But I thought something quite different. I saw everything you saw. Heard it. _Felt_ it. And those Gems...each time we met a new one, I had to fight off the urge to take over and shatter them on the spot.”

“W-WHAT?!” Steven screeched, now gaping at Pink Steven in horror. “You wanted to _shatter_ them all just like that?! But why?! Th-that’s not how we handle things! That’s not how _Steven Universe_ handles things!”

“I am _part_ of Steven. As are you.” Pink Steven deadpanned. “Therefore, _we_ can decide however _Steven Universe_ handles a situation. However, I think it is worth noting that back then, I could do it at a whim without your okay. You didn’t know we were a fusion in those days. You weren’t strong enough with your mental powers to try and hold me back, even assuming you were aware that I existed.” He pondered, while Steven took a few more steps away from him. “So if I decided that Steven Universe was going to be the kind of person who shattered every Gem he came across, then that’s who he’d be. You simply wouldn’t have a choice.”

“That’s...monstrous!” Steven gasped, unable to put it any other way. “That’s no better than what White did to our friends! What she tried to do to you!” He clutched the sides of his head and growled. “Were you seriously going to take over our mind?!”

“Are you surprised?” Pink Steven asked, tilting his head again. “Earlier, I described how I was going to do just that to calm us down and revert the pink state. Surely this can’t be a shock. You had to have assumed that other situations in the past required my attention.”

“No. Not like this. Because what you’re saying is that you were a trigger-happy, paranoid mess!” Steven yelled. “I can get part of it. Jasper, I can understand you trying to protect me against her. The Cluster, sure, it was going to destroy the Earth. The Diamonds and Spinel…...okay, I can’t place _too_ much blame on you for that one. But someone like _Lapis?_ What did she do? Lapis was- _is_ one of our best friends! Our beach summer fun buddy!” Steven started crying again and wiped his nose with his shirt, the thought of all these Gems dying at his hands becoming too much to bear. “Were you really thinking of shattering her the second we took her out of that mirror?!”

“I was thinking of shattering her the second Pearl pulled that mirror out of her Gemstone.” Pink Steven said casually. “With access to our mother’s memories, I knew exactly what she was before the mirror was even handed to us.” He sighed. “When Pearl gave you the mirror, what did you feel?”

“What did I _feel?_ ” Steven repeated nervously. “...I felt intrigued. Interested. I wanted to know more about it.”

“And what else?” Pink Steven asked. 

“I...well.” Steven exhaled and sat back down again, although this time a good distance away from his pink double. “I felt a little weary. That there was more to the mirror than Pearl told me, and that it might be dangerous. There was even a small part that told me I should get rid of-” Steven gasped as realization struck him in the face like a ton of bricks. “That was you!” He yelled, pointing a finger at Pink. “You were the one who made me think about those things! You tried to convince me to get rid of it!”

“Yes.” Pink Steven admitted. “But as usual, I was only trying to protect us. Had Lapis been a genuine threat, I would have been forced to step in. She is, after all, a member of one of the most powerful Gem types in existence. It would have been much wiser to destroy her right there instead of taking a risk and letting her out. Especially on a planet that is over 75 percent water.”

“Yeah? Well, look how it turned out!” Steven hollered. “We’re the best of friends now! Along with Peridot and Bismuth and every other Gem you probably wanted to...hold on.” He paused and went over what he just said. “Bismuth. You didn’t mention Bismuth earlier with all the others. Did you... _not_ want to shatter her? Because she was a Crystal Gem?”

“Ridiculous.” Pink Steven said, almost with disdain. “Out of all of them, except for the Diamonds and Jasper, she was the one I desired to eliminate _most_ during our first meeting. She tried to shatter Rose Quartz. Almost did. The memories show the two had quite a brawl over the Breaking Point. I had every reason to suspect that Bismuth would try and do it again.”

“Then why didn’t you take over after I let her out?” Steven scoffed. “If you knew, then how come-”

“I wanted to see how things played out.” Pink Steven said. “Sake of interest, and nothing more. I wondered if Bismuth could become a Crystal Gem again. Reform like Peridot. So I took a gamble and waited. Things didn’t play out as I had hoped, as you well know, but thankfully you managed to sort it all out in the end.”

“...”

“...”

“Are you-”

“You’re _lying.”_ Steven spat, staring at Pink like he had just murdered his whole family, who reared back at the accusation. “Do you seriously expect me to believe that you didn’t shatter her over “sake of interest”?”

“I am not lying. I looked through our mother's memories, and saw that Bismuth was wronged somewhat.” Pink Steven explained. “I know-”

“You know what?!” Steven interjected. “No. I’m sorry, but _no_. I refuse to believe that after you almost shattered _Lapis_ of all people simply because of her Gem type, that you allowed someone who tried to actively kill our mother in the past to come within a mile of us simply for _sake of interest_.” He rambled. “Did you think I'd believe you? After all that? You’re more protective of Steven than I am! And that’s saying a lot, considering I’m always the one in charge of protecting him!”

“I may be protective of Steven, but I’m not a raging violent sociopath.” Pink Steven said. “If there is a situation that we can talk our way out of, then I will allow events to play out as needed. Bismuth was one of those situations.”

“Then where were you on the Beach that day?” Steven asked. “When I first saw Jasper, I knew that there would be no talking to her. She wasn’t someone we could befriend, or try and establish a friendly communication with. We almost died back then, and the only reason we didn’t is because she found out I had Pink’s...Rose’s...our mother Gem!” He exclaimed. “Did _you_ see a way to “talk our way” out of that one that I didn’t?”

“I…” Pink Steven hesitated, looking uncertain for the first time. “I’m not sure if-”

“You don’t have an answer.” Steven sighed. “Don’t bother denying it, I can hear it in your tone. But...at least tell me the truth. Why didn’t you hurt Bismuth? What’s the real reason? And don't lie to me this time, or else I'll take the Other Side’s advice for real.”

Pink Steven reared back again and his eyes widened in alarm. “You wouldn’t.”

“I would,” Steven promised. “Because if I can’t trust you, if I can’t trust _myself_ , then who _can_ I trust? Nobody is the answer. And it’ll have been right. Everyone’s lying and out to get me…”

“Okay fine.” Pink Steven groaned, putting more emotion into those two words than Steven had ever seen him show before. He struggled to hold back a grin as she realized that his bluff worked. Obviously, he wasn’t going to _really_ let go, blow up his friends, and continue to wipe the Earth clean of life, but...Pink him didn’t need to know that. All he had to do was make it believable Sure, it was playing dirty. But after everything, he couldn’t take being lied to. Especially not by someone like _this_.

“I...it’s because of her.” Pink Steven started. “Pink Diamond. I saw her. I looked through her memories and I saw her.”

“You already said that.” Steven pouted. “Get to the point before-”

“Let me finish.” Pink Steven said. “I looked through her memories. All of them. Thousands and thousands of years worth. But the only ones I cared about were her memories about Earth. I wanted to see. I wanted to see her become Rose Quartz. I wanted to feel...how she felt. Become like her. Try and connect with her.”

“I’m guessing this was during the time where you still saw me as “unworthy” to the Pink Diamond Gemstone?” Steven guessed.

“Correct.” Pink Steven said. “Although I never saw you as truly unworthy. I only wished to _see_ if you were unworthy. But either way, yes. This was during the time where I did not think so low of her. And then that time…” He paused. “Ended. With Bismuth. I came across their argument. I watched the whole thing hundreds of times and memorized every second of it. It had...quite the effect. I often wondered what would have happened if it was revealed right there. If Rose told Bismuth the _real_ reason she didn’t want the Breaking Point used as a weapon.”

“Or at all. But we don’t have to worry about that thing anymore.” Steven replied. “Tossed in that lava pit, which of course you already know. As far as I’m concerned, Bismuth was the only one who knew how to make it, so that day in the forge was the last we’ll ever see of it.”

“Wrong.” 

“What?”

“Wrong.” Pink Steven repeated. “I’m going to momentarily sidetrack like you just did to remind you of something. Something that I think you'd be quite interested to know about. The Breaking Point...it was never destroyed.” He explained. 

“Never...destroyed…what are you talking about?” Steven asked, his heart sinking into his stomach. “It was gone! I saw it sink into the lava myself! There’s no way it could have-”

“Do you really think something like _lava_ would be sufficient enough to melt it down?’ Pink Steven asked rhetorically. “It was made by Bismuth, a _lava-proof_ Gem, to shatter a _Diamond_. I have no doubt it’s still down there, at the bottom of that pool, waiting for someone to dive in and grab it. We _hid_ it. But...we never got rid of it.”

“But...later I asked Garnet to use her future vision to see if it would ever come into play again, and she said no!” Steven contested. “How could-”

“How far ahead do you think she can look?” Pink Steven asked. “She’s not omniscient. She can see possibilities, not the entire time stream. There are infinite possibilities, and if she saw all of them at once, both her components would shatter from the sudden influx of information. She could very well be wrong.”

“So you’re saying...someone might go and get it?” Steven breathed. “Use it against us?”

“It is a possibility. But an unlikely one.” Pink Steven said. “After all, you, me, Bismuth, Garnet, Amethyst, and Pearl are the only ones who knew that we threw it away. We told the last three during our whole explanation of that deplorable act our mother committed, and Bismuth later. They are the only ones who are aware of what happens to it. And unlike what the Other Side claimed, they will not betray us and tell anyone where it is. Every Gem who knows about it is on our side.”

“That’s a relief…” Steven sighed. “But I promise that if we get out of this, I’m sending Bismuth down there to go get it, so we can destroy it together. _For real_ this time.”

“A wise choice. An action that I would have convinced you to perform if you never brought it up.” Pink Steven said. “It is best to get rid of the problem before it becomes one.”

“Preaching to the choir there,” Steven said. “Even though getting rid of problems that way hasn’t been our strong suit…”

“You are correct, unfortunately.” Pink Steven acknowledged. “But back to our main topic. The real reason as to why I didn’t shatter Bismuth. I last told you that I wanted to connect with our mother, yes? And that I watched her argument with Bismuth?”

“Something along those lines,” Steven confirmed grumpily. “You watched all her memories. Tried to get an idea of what she was like I guess.”

“Right again. But I also mentioned that it affected me.” Pink Steven said. “Before the argument, I was naive like you. I practically worshiped our mother. Yes, she had her flaws, but her silliness to sacrifice everything for the sake of the Earth...I admired it. But then I saw…things.” Pink turned his gaze to the floor again. “...Dark things. Things I’m sure she never wanted to remember. Her memories were an apple tree, and every now and then I came across a rotten one. And how does the saying go? It only takes one bad apple…”

“...To spoil the bunch.” Steven finished. “Yeah. I’ve experienced that as well. Let me guess, Spinel?”

Pink Steven nodded. “Yes. The court jester. Her playmate. She was so sweet. So caring. So kind. So...loyal.” He spat. “You must understand. I hold disdain for Spinel for what she did to us. Almost as much as I hold for the Diamonds. But every time I look at _that_ memory again, the one where our mother abandons her…” Pink Steven huffed and he clenched his fists. “...Suddenly she doesn’t seem quite so bad. Because I get it. She had every right to be angry. Not at us, but at _her_. Our mother had _no_ excuse for what she did. She was Spinel’s whole world. And what she did was not some game. It was cruel, unjust, and easily one of the worst things she’s ever done, which is saying something when we look at her track record. Pink Diamond…” He scowled. “...acted _appallingly_. She was no Diamond that day.”

Steven let out a low whistle. “Wow.” He said. “And here I thought I had negative feelings towards our mom. You just flat-out hate her, don’t you?”

“Hate is a strong word. But still extremely accurate.” Pink Steven said. “Because as I mentioned, I saw all the horrible acts she committed. Spinel and Bismuth are only the tip of the iceberg you know. She once destroyed an entire _sector_ on Homeworld. An incident that the Diamonds covered up. And she did it for the sole reason that she didn’t have her own colony. This was, you should know, also the incident that caused Volleyball’s eye crack. It’s a miracle she wasn’t shattered, given how close she was. Unfortunately, the same can not be said for the hundreds of other innocent Gems who were caught in the blast.”

“And there it is,” Steven said, in a low tone. “Earlier, Connie joked about me finding out another horrible thing about my mom. It was funny at the time, but now…” He put his hand up to his face and started rubbing his eyes. “You just gave me a new one to think about. Guess it’s not so much of a joke anymore.”

“The truth never is.” Pink Steven said. “And this was only _one_ incident. Out of dozens. Her pink outbursts were much more common than you know. I believe the Diamonds, or _Diamond_ , had a rather special way of dealing with them.”

“Diamond? Oh great...” Steven said. “Let me guess: White took over Blue and Yellow’s minds and stole those memories. I assume that’s an ability she has, considering that mental stuff is her strong suit.”

“Correct.” Pink Steven repeated. “But...the Diamonds were also-”

“WAIT!” Steven yelled, making Pink Steven flinch in surprise. The boy's face was lit up, but not in the pink way, but more in an excited way. “If you have all her memories...and looked through them all like a highlight reel...do you have the memory of her fight with the Traitor? The whole reason we’re stuck here in the first place? M-maybe if I know, it’ll bring me some kinda closure for today and the pink state will-”

“No.” Pink Steven interjected. “I have seen that memory. I saw what happened to them. And I can say with certainty that showing you it will only make things worse, not better. In fact, when we clean up this mess, I recommend that we give up the investigation for all time. No matter what...the outcome will not be favorable.”

“Something I didn’t need to hear,” Steven growled, speaking with only the edges of his mouth. “But how can you be so sure? Whatever horrible thing my mom did, I can handle it! Just tell me!”

“You can handle it?” Pink Steven said, unconvinced. “Perhaps. But at what cost?” He stood up. “Look at the crack again. See how it is now.”

“Oh for the love of…” Steven groaned, once again burying his face in his hands. “You know what, I’m not going to do that. Because I already know what happened. It grew bigger, didn’t it?”

“ _Much_ bigger.” Pink Steven elucidated. “Specifically, it started growing right after I mentioned how our mother destroyed part of Homeworld. And even though you claim that it had no effect, our subconscious showed us something quite different. Maybe you didn’t feel anything. Maybe you truly believe that you were immune to hearing horrible things about her. But no matter what you do, no matter what context it is in, hearing the name “Pink Diamond” will always cause that fissure to increase in size.”

“Okay, that’s a little bit ridiculous!” Steven protested. “Just hearing her name shouldn’t be enough to trigger me that! It-”

“ _It_ just grew again.” Pink Steven noted “Interesting. It seems that just talking about her, even without mentioning her name, brings up the anxiety that serves to split our mind in two. This is...an unfortunate development. And ironic. You talk about me hating our mother more than you, but it seems _your_ subconscious had a bigger problem than the both of us combined…”

“Oh my god…” Steven exclaimed, this time in exasperation. “So that’s it?! We have to live the rest of our lives without ever even _mentioning_ her?! I’ll take “impossible plans” for 500, thank you very much!” He yelled. “We...no. It’s not possible. Even if we _do_ somehow manage to block her out, either the Gems will mention her, or the Diamonds, or even Connie and my dad. Heck, at that point our only option left would be to block _them_ out as-”

“I am not suggesting we simply erase her from our lives.” Pink Steven said. “You are right. That is an unachievable objective. And besides, she is only part of the problems. Each issue is a hammer tearing apart the sky with a nail, and while she is a very large one, there are many others. We have to deal with them _all_. And Pink Diamond-”

“It just grew bigger. Watch what you say.” Steven said, putting on a painfully accurate imitation of his counterpart.

“...is not even the one we should deal with first.” Pink Steven finished, ignoring human Steven’s attempt at mocking him. “That is the pink state. It must be eradicated. Expunged from our system. And the first step is to get rid of that bothersome Other Side that you created, as mentioned earlier.”

“Actually, I think the first step is to finish your explanation from earlier,” Steven said. “Why you lied to me about not shattering Bismuth. I don’t want to move on to any new topics before we finish discussing the one at hand. Not anymore. There’s already been way too much of that.”

“...You’re right.” Pink Steven said. “Although I am surprised that you want to tackle this first and not get rid of our pink state, considering that the oxygen destroying effect is, of course, still active.”

“And it’ll _keep_ being active if you don’t give me an explanation,” Steven warned. “Because everyone lying to me…”

“...Is exactly what the Other Side told you would happen. Yes, you said that already.” Pink Steven pointed out.

“Well, if you don’t want to hear it for a third time, then get on with it,” Steven demanded. “I feel like everything around me is changing sides every five minutes, including you. I want to be able to trust you. But you haven’t given me much reason to, considering how quick to the trigger you are.”

“That is fair.” Pink Steven admitted. “Very well. Let us wrap this up first and then move on. I was talking about her darker deeds. The things I saw that she tried to keep hidden. This was where I began to see a new perspective. I began thinking about her. Going over the bad and the good. As I said, time moves differently here, so I had much longer to think things over than you ever did. I must have spent _decades_ here instead of weeks out there, seeing things through my eyes instead of yours. Which was foolish. Had I been needed, I would not have been aware of it.”

“Decades? Geez…” Steven said, astounded. “I guess it’s not a long time for a Gem, but it’s certainly a long time to think things over. What kind of conclusion did you come to?”

“A neutral one overall.” Pink Steven said. “The good didn’t outweigh the bad. The bad didn’t outweigh the good. She was equal in terms of that. But I knew that my view on things would change eventually. After all, decades were nowhere near long enough to watch tens of thousands of year's worth of memories. Even now, there are so many things I haven’t looked at. So many things I missed. And now...I’m not sure if I even want to. Because I don’t think my opinion can be swayed any further.”

“And when _did_ your opinion change?”

“When yours did.” Pink Steven answered, sighing as he had said that same thing before. “I believe I already mentioned that your stance on the issue directly affected mine. How you looked at things started to become how I did. It was like you handed me a pair of glasses, and I saw the whole world in a new light.”

“And that new light was a bad one, right?” Steven asked rhetorically. “No more neutral. You turned to the negative side of things.”

“Correct. Frankly, I was impressed with just how much influence you had on me.” Pink Steven admitted. “I tried to resist it at first, even after the Bismuth incident, but eventually I stopped once I saw that you were right about her.”

“And that was…?”

“The incident in our mother’s room. Where you made her appear to us.” Pink Steven said. “You screamed all your frustrations at her, called her a liar and a hypocrite, something I thought you would _never_ do. I had an idea of what you truly thought of Rose Quartz. But to say it out loud...I was shocked. And that was what turned the tide for me. I pondered it for a couple more years...watched a few specific memories...and saw that your logic was undeniable.”

“Please don’t say that. You’re reminding me of my failed creation.” Steven requested, remembering the whole “undeniable” argument down to the letter.

“Sorry.” Pink Steven said. “But you were right. Rose Quartz might have been a hero...of sorts. But Pink Diamond was a spoiled brat, throwing tantrums and damaging her “toys” daily.” He grunted and began listing things off. “Volleyball. Spinel. Bismuth. Pearl. Garnet. Greg. _Us_. She lied to or hurt all of them.”

“But...but never on purpose!” Steven said, unable to believe that he was now tasked with defending his mother’s actions. He still wasn’t that fond of her, but he didn’t want to risk _Pink’s_ opinion, a complete unfettering hatred, to become Steven’s own just like how _he_ had subconsciously influenced his pink double. “Well, except for Spinel and Bismuth, but she had to have some reasons for keeping her identity secret! If she told them what she was Pink Diamond, can you imagine how they’d react? Garnet would split up again, Pearl wouldn’t know what to do, my dad would be caught in the whole thing, and _we_ probably wouldn’t exist! And as for Volleyball…” He looked away and sighed. “...I guess I’m still trying to figure that out. But she didn’t _want_ to hurt any of them!”

“She did a terrible job at that.” Pink Steven said. “I’m betting that if any of those Gems had the chance to get Pink back, even at the cost of your life, they’d never take it. They like you more than her now. Except for maybe the two Pearls. But as for the rest…no. They’re happier with you. They don’t need her. They don’t want-”

“Okay, enough! God, you’re hateful!” Steven exclaimed. “I thought I had issues, but _you_...do you see _any_ good in her? Any redeemable qualities at all?”

“Yes. I see plenty.” Pink Steven said. “More than you. But to me, the bad overshadows the good in every way. Just like it does for Steven. For all of us. I’m sad to say it, but even if we permanently get rid of the pink state and erase all our problems….I doubt our option on our mother will change that much. Once we saw the darkness in her, there was no going back.”

“Maybe for you,” Steven said. “But I don’t want to think about her being good or bad. I don’t want to think about her at all! Heck, despite how bad I want to know, and I can’t believe I’m saying this due to how much I was pressuring you, it’s tempting for me to just ask you to drop the whole conversation about Bismuth simply because it involves talking about Pink. It’s just...so complex and frustrating!”

“Then why don’t you?” Pink Steven asked. “If it bothers you that much, then the crack is increasing, and therefore we _should_ drop it for both our sakes.”

“Because there are still some things I have to know,” Steven answered. “About you. About the Gems. Even about her. That’s one of the main reasons I was so interested in the Traitor. Because it involves _her_. I claim that I never want to hear her mentioned again, but I’m always the one who brings her up!”

“And why do you think that is?”

“Wha-I just told you!” Steven shouted. “Because we _need_ to know. We need to know everything about her so we don’t make the same mistakes she did. We-”

“ _We_ don’t need anything.” Pink Steven said. “And if you don’t remember, let me remind you that _I_ already know everything about her. Memory dump after memory dump. And all that knowledge is not something I wish to inflict on you.”

He then got up and walked over to Steven, who looked like he wanted to back away but physically couldn’t. He stopped once they were only two feet apart, and they both stared each other down, one still wearing a frown while the other had shifted back to his regular blank expression. 

“You’ll turn into me.” Pink Steven said. “What was it you said earlier? You’re hateful?” He repeated, before staring at the sky. “You’re right. I am. Compared to you, I hate so many things. So many Gems, so many weapons, so many objects that caused harm to us in the past. I’m a person who doesn’t let things go. I was actually worried, back when I thought I was going to take over to stop the pink state. Worried that I wouldn’t be able to control myself, and that I might go after everyone and everything that wronged us.”

“That’d be a full-blown massacre.” Steven shuddered. “There are _hundreds_ of-”

“Thousands. And I remember every last one of them. And the feelings I have...it’s nothing short of murderous.” Pink Steven deadpanned. “And _that_ is that type of person you could turn into. That is who you’d be if I showed you all of Pink’s memories and if you suddenly had my view of the world. You’d killed them all, and I wouldn’t stop you because I want to do the exact same thing. I was putting it lightly earlier when I said I wanted to shatter all those Gems on sight. Imagine that but with everyone who’s ever done _anything_ wrong to us.”

“…”

“ _That_ is me.” Pink Steven said. “ _That_ is who I am. _That_ is what happened after I watched all of her memories and was consumed by your worldview of her. You _need_ to know everything? You _want_ to because you don’t wish to be like her?” He scoffed. “Are you still completely sure that that's what you want? Now that I’ve told you what you’ll become?”

“But...but there’s no guarantee that-”

“Yes, there is no guarantee that you will become exactly like me.” Pink Steven confirmed. “Our personalities, while alike in many, many ways, still had their differences at the beginning. However, it would be foolish to take the risk. And...I think I got it. If that doesn’t convince you to stop wanting omniscience of our mother’s life...maybe this will.”

“What do you-”

Everything went black. 

Steven gasped and backed away from the darkness, only to realize a second later that everything around him had been transformed into a black void. He frantically checked his what had once been a pink and grey landscape, only to be met with emptiness in every direction. He glanced upwards, expecting to see the crack that made up his anxiety, but it too had vanished. Not that there was any sky to see of course. No matter where he looked, no matter how far he tried to look...nothing.

“P-pink!” He cried out, fear spiking as his heart rate grew steadily. “A-are you doing this? What’s going on?”

No verbal answer. But a sudden wind did appear as the last syllable left his mouth. It was fast. Sharp. But the worst part about it was that it was hot. Burning, in fact, as if it was tainted with ash particles. Steven tried to cover his face from the breeze as his eyes started to tear up from the intense and scorching heat being blown at him. It felt like he was standing in front of a fire, and had stuck his head directly into the smoke cloud it produced. The wind grew to be unbearable as it picked up in speed, and Steven crouched down and curled into a ball to protect himself.

“Pink!” He called out again, slightly burning his throat. “S-stop this! You’re hurting me! You’re hurting us! You’re…” He played his trump card. “You’re hurting _Steven!”_

Unfortunately, his “trump card” did little to sway the winds, and actually might have caused them to increase in intensity. Steven then covered his face with the bottom of his shirt, and because Pink Steven was clearly not in the mood to answer any kind of orison, he began praying to someone, _anyone_ else that was listening to make it stop.

And then his prayers were answered. But not by the person he wanted them to be.

“What the hell is he doing?” The Other Side asked frantically, barely audible over the almost hurricane-force winds blowing through the area. “Is he _trying_ to kill you or something?”

Despite having a relatively newfound hatred towards the being, Steven whimpered and tried to communicate with it, causing hundreds of microscopic ash particles to fly in his mouth. It made his lungs feel like they had been set on fire, but Steven did his best to ignore it and spoke up, talking to the only person that he seemingly had left.

“I don’t know!” He shouted. “Can you stop this?”

“I can’t do anything. Not against something like _this_.” The Other Side said, sounding very far away. “I-I didn’t even know he could do this! I didn’t know it was possible! The mindscape is used for communication and looking at memories! But you can’t just create _new_ ones out of nowhere! This...this is unprecedented!”

“How are you so sure?!” Steven shouted, forced to raise his voice to even allow the Other Side to hear him. “You’ve only been here for a few hours, what do you know?!”

“Enough!” It yelled back. “I know the rules! And I can say with certainty that he is breaking several of them by doing this! I-I’m actually scared!”

“Oh, _you’re_ scared?!” Steven screeched. “Says the person who currently _isn’t_ inhaling some fine ash particles!”

“Well, holding your shirt like that won’t do anything you know!” The Other Side pointed out. “It’s still the same air!”

“Urgh, just forget it!” Steven shouted. He took his shirt off his face and stood up, doing his utter best to ignore the literal sizzling sensation on his reddening skin and the pain that made it feel like his eyes were melting. He wasn’t sure if he could die here, but if he could and didn’t get this storm to stop, then he’d be dead in no more than a minute.

“Use your powers!” The Other Side recommended. “You have a giant bubble shield that’d be perfect for this!”

“No!” Steven protested. “If Pink is gonna throw this stuff at me for no reason, then I’m not going back down! Not until he _gives_ me a reason too!”

“That’s a really stupid plan!” The Other Side exclaimed.

“I know, and I don’t care!” Steven acknowledged. “Pink’s not going to let me die!”

“You can’t die in here fool, we’re literally-”

“You already said he was breaking some of the rules, and I’m assuming not dying is one of those rules!” Steven shouted. “What’s one more?”

The Other Side remained quiet after this, having no evidence to disprove Steven’s claim. Before long, Steven could feel it retreating from the area and away from the storm, back to wherever it came from. He sighed upon realizing that he was alone again, now abandoned by everyone.

“Okay.” He said, gazing up at the sky again and shaking away the feelings of loneliness. “PINK! I KNOW YOU’RE OUT THERE SOMEWHERE! COME OUT AND GET RID OF THIS STORM, OR SHOW ME WHATEVER IT IS YOU WANT ME TO SEE! YOU’RE WASTING TIME LIKE THIS!”

“WASTING TIME?” Pink Steven’s voice suddenly roared, who once again sounded like he was some sort of God. “WRONG. THIS IS ONE OF THE MOST IMPORTANT PARTS OF YOUR ENTIRE LIFE. SPENDING TIME ON ANYTHING _OTHER_ THEN THIS IS A WASTE.”

“Once again, you’re making no sense!” Steven shouted. “Can you please just explain what’s going on? If you want to tell me something, just do it so we can get this over with! I don’t understand why you saw this whole firestorm thing as necessary!”

“IT IS A COVER.” Pink Steven explained. “TO HIDE WHAT YOU SHOULDN’T SEE UNTIL THE PROPER MOMENT.”

“And what’s that?”

“IF I TOLD YOU, THEN IT WOULDN’T REALLY BE HIDDEN.” Pink Steven said. “JUST WAIT.”

“Wait?!” Steven screeched. “Are you insane? You have me trapped in this inferno breathing in this stuff and you want me to _wait?_ If you needed to hide something, then why didn’t you just summon some fog or clouds or whatever! What’s up with trying to hurt me like this?”

“I AM NOT “HURTING” YOU.” Pink Steven said. “STEVEN’S ACTUAL BODY WILL BE ENTIRELY UNHARMED BY THIS HEAT. THE PAIN YOU’RE FEELING IS SIMULATED, NOTHING MORE. YOU CAN’T GET HURT IN HERE, MUCH LESS DIE.”

“Well, can you _unsimulate_ it?” Steven requested. “And I didn’t care if that’s not an actual word, just get rid of all this fire!”

“I CAN’T. CONSIDERING THAT IT IS PART OF THE ENVIRONMENT I AM CREATING.”

“Then why is it taking so long?!” Steven whined. “Why do you need to create it at all?! Why-I have so many questions!”

“AND I CAN PROVIDE THE ANSWERS FOR SOME OF THEM. JUST BE PATIENT.” Pink Steven instructed. “ANSWERS LIKE THESE COME AT A COST. THE TRUTH IS NEVER WITHOUT PAIN.”

“Wow, the shoe is really on the other foot now.” The Other Side chimed in, sounding rather chipper for whatever reason. “Look at this! Instead of Steven causing Pinkie pain with his crappy mental state, _Pinkie_ is causing _Steven_ pain with this firestorm! If I didn’t know better, I’d say this is all just an excuse for the living lightbulb to get some much-needed revenge on his human half!”

“IF I WANTED TO DO THAT, I COULD CERTAIN COME UP WITH SOMETHING BETTER THAN THIS.” Pink Steven said. “AND I WOULD NEVER “GET REVENGE” ON HIM. I HOLD NOT CONTEMPT FOR WHAT HE’S DONE, MOSTLY BECAUSE STEVEN DIDN’T EVEN KNOW I EXISTED FOR MOST OF HIS LIFE.”

“Yeah, and after he found out, what happened?” The Other Side asked rhetorically. “Nothing! He forgot about you entirely! He never tried to talk to you, get in touch with you, or even see if you existed at all and prove that his whole experience in White’s head wasn’t some screwed-up fever dream!”

“THAT MAKES NO SENSE. CONNIE WAS THERE AS WELL. SHE COULD HAVE CONFIRMED-”

“Well, maybe she was a hallucination too.” The Other Side suggested in a joking manner. “But whatever. What I’m saying is that everyone forgot about you pinkie. One-time character until now, that’s all you were. Which is a bit of a shame. If you had reached out and talked to Steven about all this nonsense at an earlier point, this pink state and the crack might not exist at all. He could have gotten better, and your job of protecting him would have been a complete success.”

“I DID NOT SEE IT AS NECESSARY THEN, AND I DON’T HAVE ANY KIND OF FUTURE VISION.” Pink Steven growled, which practically caused the ground to shake. “I COULDN’T HAVE KNOWN THINGS WOULD GET THIS BAD FOR ALL OF US.”

“True, true.” The Other Side acknowledged. “Hey, does that mean this is all Garnet’s fault? She had to see all this as a possibility, right? What was she doing while we were growing more and more unstable by the day? Checking every future _except_ for ours? I wonder-”

“Be quiet! How many times do I have to remind you two morons to stop fighting?!” Steven shouted, who was now regretting his earlier decision of taking his shirt away from his face. “We already have enough going on, please tell me you’re not trying to convince me that my friends are evil again right in the middle of this!”

“I actually wasn’t!” The Other Side yelled back. “Just wondering aloud where the heck Garnet was in all this!”

“ _That_ can be sorted out later!” Steven hollered. “But you need to-”

“FINISHED.” Pink Steven announced.

“What?”

“I AM FINISHED.” He repeated. “LOOK AROUND YOU.”

“Ugh, I _can’t_ , there’s a giant firestorm in the…” Steven started, before glancing around and seeing that it had disappeared and been replaced with something much, _much_ worse. “...way. Oh...oh my god.” He exclaimed, feeling like he was about to vomit. “What...why...what is this?”

“This” looked like a veritable hell. Steven now understood why it had taken Pink him so long to alter the mindscape. He hadn’t been making a few small changes. He had been creating a whole new _world_. 

And as all the memories of his conversation with Pink and the Other Side, the investigation of the Traitor, and the meeting with Connie at the library were forced out of his head by the ruling duumvirate of the mindscape, Steven was now faced with a reality that was worse than anything he could ever imagine.

It was Beach City, but at the same time, not really.

It was the reality that might soon come to pass.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So many conversations in this one, starting and stopping like no one's business. Most of which Pink Steven just made irrelevant for the moment with that stunt he pulled at the end. And yes, that was totally on purpose. For now, at least, he's delayed them. But the next chapter will some horrifying sights, a few surprising truths, and a whole lot of mental manipulation. All for the greater good, at least in Pinkie's eyes.


	14. Storm

It was Beach City. 

But at the same time, it wasn’t. 

Or at least not the one he was used to. The ground beneath him had suddenly been replaced by sand, which was so hot that Steven could feel the burn even through his sandals. But he paid it no mind. He was too focused on what was directly in front of-no, what was in _every_ direction around him. He was standing on the beach in front of the Temple, only...it was gone. The arms, the torso, the intricately carved face...all looking like someone had strapped a couple hundred sticks of dynamite to it and set it off. There was hardly anything left. Just a jagged rock cliff. 

And the Beach House? Nothing but a pile of splinters. Pieces of glass and wood littered the beach, while the giant pole that had held up the Earth and Homeworld flags was broken in half like a twig. And to top it off, _everything_ was on fire. The wood, the glass, even the metal pole, burning away as if they were coated in gasoline. The flames were so large that he could feel them from where he stood, so hot that it was like he was being sunburned. 

And the longer he observed the wreckage, the more panicky and incoherent Steven’s breathing became, and a moment later he turned and spirited away, unable to stand the sight of his home, _their_ home, destroyed like that. He couldn’t think of anything else to do. It was like his worst nightmare had come to life, and it was all so realistic and sudden that he completely forgot that none of it was real.

With some mental assistance and manipulation from Pink Steven and the Other Side, of course, both of them electing to just sit back and watch it all play out.

Steven ran across the beach and away from the house as fast as he could, until the horrible scene was out of view. But the momentary respite he got from it vanishing didn’t last long, as he turned the natural corner the cliff had made that led into Beach City.

Or what was left of it. 

Because compared to the city, the Temple could be considered in pristine shape. There was, simply put, almost nothing left. There was no wood. No ruins. No sign of anything. It was like a great hurricane had sweat in and wiped everything away. The Big Donut was gone, the only thing remaining being a few loose stones that no one would recognize as being part of a building. The boardwalk was practically nonexistent, the only sign that it was ever there being a few large wooden pillars sticking out of the sand, the foundations that once held it up. But the shops...gone. As if they were picked up by the hand of God and taken away into the sky. 

Steven began to sob and run at the same time as more and more of the fiery wasteland was revealed to him. The flames were the only thing providing any light, as the sky was so thick with smoke that it knocked out the sun. It was all cast in an eerie orange glow, similar to the light from a candle placed inside of a pumpkin. Steven wanted to avert his eyes from the sight, but he couldn’t. His mind was convincing him that all of this was real, and he refused to stop until he found someone else. He tried to ignore all the destruction, instead focusing solely on his friends.

“G-guys!” He called out, running past the remains of the Big Donut and down the road that led towards Funland. “Garnet! Amethyst! Pearl! CONNIE!” He screeched, his throat burning from the air and dramatic shrieking. “D-dad!” He panted. “Bismuth...Lapis...Peridot...somebody!”

There was no answer. In the distance, through the smog, he could see the ruins of Funland. The Ferris wheel was the only thing left, although Steven could tell that it wouldn’t hold that title for very long. The whole structure seemed to be melting before his very eyes, raining molten metal onto the sand and sizzling it. Steven cried out at the sight and turned away, unable to watch the last remnants of the place he had spent so much time at (and had been permabanned for an equally large amount of time) melt away into nothing. He had to get out. He had to find someone. Then, his eyes lit up at the first place he thought of that he _knew_ someone had to be at.

“The car wash.” He said aloud, and without skipping a beat, he did a 180 and sprinted full-speed towards the building, praying that it wouldn’t be destroyed like everything else. A small part of Steven told him that it would, but he ignored it’s her had to keep hoping. Even if it was gone, his dad’s van still had to be there, and he was seldom seen without it nearby. He was okay. He had to be okay.

At least, that’s what Steven kept telling himself, as if _saying_ something was enough to make it true.

But moving through the town was no easy feat. The ever-present smoke forced him to kneel over and hack violently every five seconds, and after about three minutes of this, Steven just gave up on running and walked, covering his mouth as best he could. He was sure that all this exposure was already going to cause lasting damage, (thanks to Pink Steven blocking out his thoughts and preventing him from snapping out of it), but frankly, he didn’t care. What mattered now was his family. His lungs could wait. They couldn’t.

‘Agh, why is this happening?!’ He thought. ‘Where was I before this? I think…’ Steven’s face scrunched up as he struggled to remember. ‘...I was at Little Homeworld? With Connie and everyone else? Why was I there? I think we were...looking for something?’ He guessed. ‘Dang it, why can’t I remember? What happened afterwards that caused all of _this?!’_

Steven received no answer after this series of questions, aside from a few nearby fires popping up out of nowhere, causing him to shriek and jump away from them. Almost like clockwork, new ones appeared every few seconds, seemingly fueled by nothing but the street below them.

‘Okay. Have to go. Have to go now!’ Steven told himself, picking up the pace and holding his breath. ‘Have to...wait. My powers!’ He thought, the realization hitting him like a ton of bricks. ‘I can just create a bubble!’

Steven then stopped where he was and stood still, concentrating for a split second to summon the first ability he ever mastered. He imagined the bubble materializing around him, shielding him from the fire and the smoke, appearing from thin air, as if by magic...

But unfortunately, the master had seemingly been reverted into the student, and nothing happened. No bubble appeared, and neither did anything else. 

“Umm…bubble! Bubble!” He demanded, before being forced to cough again. “I-what the heck! That’s like one of the first things I learned!’ He grabbed a hold of his shirt and took a quick peek at his Gem, expecting to see anything from a crack to a flicker of light. But surprisingly, there was none of that. It was fine as far as he could tell. No cracks or scrapes anywhere on its glimmering surface. And it wasn’t sputtering out light either, which eliminated the possibility that he had been rejuvenated again. For all purposes, his Gem appeared to be completely normal.

‘Then why isn’t it working?!’ Steven thought furiously. ‘First I wake up in this... _hellscape_ , and now my powers are on the fritz again! Why is all of this happening?! And for what purpose?!’

The only answer to Steven’s question came in the form of a large explosion from directly behind him, causing his entire body to tense up and for him to reflexively dive to the ground to protect himself. The fireball from the blast reached high into the air, and Steven screamed as his skin was lightly scorched by the heat. The blast dissipated a second later, but the pain remained. Despite this, however, Steven felt relieved that it was there. Pain meant he was still alive. Pain meant he could keep going to figure out what was happening. Sweet relief poured through him as he pressed his hand on his chest and felt his heartbeat, and for once he was happy to get hurt.

Until he realized what direction the explosion had come from, and he suddenly wished that the blast had consumed him entirely.

It had come from the car wash. 

“DAD!” He screeched, and Steven got up and ran as fast as he could toward it, hurrying his teeth and trying not to scream in pain from the insane burning sensation his lungs were being hit with. But he ignored it and ran. He ran. He was sure that without powers he was going to die if this kept up, but that mattered little. If worse came to worst, they had his mom’s fountain. _And_ the two vials of tears, one of which he hid in Lion's mane and the other he gave to Lars. They could bring him back with those if he pushed himself too far. It was okay. It’d all be okay.

But he had to make sure everyone else was first.

And soon the lot where the car wash once stood was in his sights. But despite Steven’s desperate hopes, nothing remained. Whatever cataclysm had befallen Beach City did not discriminate, and his dad’s precious business was now just like everything else, set aflame with only the basic foundations left. And in the middle of it all, lying on its side with almost nothing but a metal frame left, was the remains of the Dondai. Steven only recognized it from the half-melted license plate that seemed to be hanging from a literal thread, before it too dropped to the pavement with a clang and almost perfect timing. 

Steven slowly backed away from what was left of his car like it was a wild bear, almost too horrified to speak. (And the ash particles in his lungs didn’t help either.) Because if his dad had still been here when the wash blew up, then he was definitely dead. But Steven, always the optimist, shook this feeling off and refused to give up. He might have left beforehand. He might have made it out. Perhaps there was an evacuation, and Steven was the only person who didn’t make it out in time. 

And as misplaced as this optimism was, it satisfied him enough that he turned away from the wash and moved on. He had to get to Little Homeworld. The first thought that had actually gone through his mind was going to Connie’s house, but one glance in its direction told him that it was long gone. He couldn’t make out Little Homeworld from where he was, but it was the only idea he had left. If his powers were gone, he couldn’t use any warp pads, and he'd need a fleet of mechanics to turn any nearby vehicles into a state that could be considered "drivable". Plus, Bismuth had fire-proofed most of the buildings, so whatever happened to Beach City shouldn’t have done _that_ much damage to the only Gem refuge on Earth, even if it did look like a nuclear bomb had been set off.

Of course, parts of the sidewalk had been spontaneously combusting as he made his way through the town, so this was wishful thinking at best.

But “wishful thinking” was all he had at the moment.

And as Steven continued to pass through more of the town, clues began to present themselves. At first, he thought that this might have been an aforementioned bomb, either from a human war or an attack from an old enemy. But the more he looked around, the more he saw that this explanation didn’t make a lick of sense. 

For one thing, there wasn’t any kind of impact crater or central point that would be a telltale sign of an explosion. It was more spread out like the fires had ignited in every place at once and all of the buildings were picked up and thrown over the horizon. And for another, the siren wasn’t going off. Back when Little Homeworld was first being built and Bismuth was learning about all the different ways humans built things, she came across a few articles online describing how some buildings were made to withstand bomb blasts. One thing led to another, and she got a quick history lesson from Pearl and Connie about all the wars humans fought and all the crazy weaponry they had developed.

Bismuth was, to put it lightly, horrified. Her first action after this was to build a siren in Little Homeworld that could be heard from miles away and was practically indestructible, while also making sure that it was protected with the best force-field tech Homeworld had to offer. It was notable for being the only thing she created that was entirely composed of Gem technology. But when Steven saw the look in her eyes as she flipped through the textbook Connie had given her, he saw that it was definitely for the better if she took no chances. Pearl personally thought she was overreacting, as she said that humans were “foolish, but not foolish enough to destroy their own planet”, but Bismuth wasn’t having any of it. 

And as for Steven? He thought it was ironic. The same person that had sadistically built a weapon designed solely for shattering Gems was now having nightmares about nuclear war. Sure, she was a different person _now_ , but the irony didn’t go unnoticed.

The siren itself had only been broadcasted once, when Bismuth was testing whether to see if it worked or not. It honestly worked a little _too_ well, and Steven had to put himself, Connie, his dad, and Mayor Nanafua in a bubble to protect themselves from the noise, after Bismuth practically forced them to come to the demonstration in case an evacuation was ever necessary. Their eardrums had almost been blown out, and even then they were standing over a hundred feet away. It was truly insane just how much noise the thing could put out, considering that it was only the size of a football.

But now...it wasn’t going off. This had been no bomb. No warplanes were flying overhead. No _real_ signs of any kind of war. This was...something else. 

And now Steven was left to figure out what it was.

“Go faster…” He groaned, Little Homeworld still out of his sight. “Ignore it all. Ignore the pain. You’ve felt worse after all. Like that time White pulled out your Gem. Or when you were almost killed by Spinel. Or when you went into the Cluster’s mind when Peridot was drilling into and...and…”

Steven realized that this was not helping, and silently told himself to shut up. Instead, he moved on, zig-zagging around the various fires that had sprouted up. Once he had pushed all other thoughts out of mind, the world and the heat that was hitting him seemed to fall away. His single objective of making it to Little Homeworld was all he could focus on now.

And that focus paid him in full, as the massive settlement finally came into view through the smoke a minute or so later. He actually smiled as he saw that it was intact, the first real joy he had experienced since he had woken up. Sure, most of the buildings looked like they had seen better days, but it was infinitely times in better shape than the town. Bismuth’s engineering was truly a marvel to behold, and this was the perfect example of its durability.

Steven made one last burst of speed as he ran up the road that led to the front gate, which was no longer there but rather lying on the ground in front of him. Now that he was closer, Steven gulped as he took in all the damage it had all sustained. The walls that surrounded it were charred black with burn marks and were also missing several giant pieces, but overall it was in a...fairly recognizable state. But the hybrid couldn’t hold a grin despite the situation, overjoyed to see that _something_ had survived.

And hopefully _someone_ did as well...

Walking over the fallen gate and into Little Homeworld, Steven’s smile quickly faded, as he realized that he had severely underestimated just how destroyed everything would be. Because he only saw the tallest towers from a distance, and they had looked fine. But now that he was here, he understood that everything on the ground was where most of the devastation was. His eyes had deceived him, and now his soul was paying the price.

All the plants were gone, a sight that he had enjoyed seeing every time he visited. Most of the houses and workshops had enormous holes in their walls and roofs, and it was a miracle that none of them had collapsed yet. Steven saw no Gems inside, or any Gemstones or shards, but this was of little comfort. Until he found someone, Steven’s anxiety, which was currently reaching new heights in space, would remain and do what it did best. Cause problems.

Unable to bring himself to run any longer, as the focus that allowed him too had vanished along with the illusion that Little Homeworld was mostly okay, Steven slowly ambled through it all, never sparing a glance for anything. He made sure to check every house, every workshop, every building for some kind of sign. But all he saw was half-burnt clothes ruined works of art, with not a single Gem or human standing near them.

‘No…’ He thought, shaking away the unpleasant thoughts that all his was bringing. ‘You’re looking in the wrong place, Steven. Why would they still be in their houses? Why aren’t you checking the shelter that Bismuth had built for situations _like this one?_ ’ He asked himself, his self-beration levels on the rise. ‘Stop what you’re doing and go there. Even if you _did_ find a body or some shards, the odds are…’ He gazed at the ground as his heart sank. ‘...that they’re too far gone for you to bring back.’

Steven stood there solemnly there for a moment before his lungs reminded him that he was still slowly dying. He snapped out of it and walked away, towards the back of Little Homeworld, towards the shelter. On the way, he spotted the siren that Bismuth had put up, only he didn’t, because only the pile remained with a few loose wires sticking out the top of it like someone had ripped the apparatus from its perch. Not to mention the fact that the force field surrounding it was gone (although this was hardly a surprise), and the dirt surrounding it was somehow more charred then everything else. It almost looked like a giant hole in the ground that the pile was sticking out of, and Steven actually ran around it on instinct, getting the feeling that his floating powers weren’t about to work anytime soon.

And it was only after he had gotten roughly fifty feet away from that Steven facepalmed, realizing what it had truly been.

‘Really?’ He asked himself. ‘Did you really just do that, Universe? Yeah, like there would be a giant hole in the ground. What were you thinking?! We just lost more precious time by taking a detour around it, not to mention how stupid it made us look. Imagine if there was someone around here watching! They could have had a camera, and then we’d appear on one of those compilation videos that...that…’ He stopped where he was and breathed in the air for a second, almost like someone had thrown something at the back of his head.

‘Wha-what am I doing?’ He thought. ‘Why am I thinking about people with cameras? Why does that matter in the slightest? Why was I thinking about that at a time like this?’ Steven then started panting wildly, as if the thought train that brought him to the cameras was the most frightening thing that had happened to him all day. ‘No. Pull yourself together.’ He told himself. ‘The heat is just getting to you. It made you hallucinate that hole, and it made your brain spiral off into some nonsensical path. You’re not going mad or anything. Just fine the Gems, Connie, and everyone else. It’ll be okay.’

Every part of Steven was screaming at him that nothing would be okay again, considering the state of things, but he ignored this and walked on, waving off the hole and his thoughts as mere side effects brought on by the extremely high temperatures hitting every part of him at once.

Well, not every part.

Because there was that small sliver left, telling him that one of this was real, that it all had to be an illusion, and that his friends could be in _real_ danger soon if he didn’t snap out of it.

It wasn’t having much luck now, but the cracks were growing, and the reality of things was slowly slipping through.

It was practically inevitable now.

***

Unbeknownst to Steven, however, he wasn’t alone. Because others were observing him. The two beings that had been the cause for this whole dreadful debacle. The silent watchers, both of them carefully orchestrating everything Steven was experiencing.

And who are these mysterious watchers? Why, none other than the Other Side and Pink Steven, peering over the landscape while remaining invisible to everything else, like two giant omniscient gods. They had been observing Steven’s antics for a good half-hour now, making sure that he didn’t suspect something was up. That none of this was real, and just an illusion created by one of them.

And unfortunately for their efforts, this illusion was beginning to fall apart.

“He’s starting to see through it.” The Other Side noted. “Your illusion is not as effective as you claimed it would be.”

“Perhaps. But it is fulfilling his purpose.” Pink Steven responded. “When this is all over, he will understand. He will understand why he should not listen to you and “let go”. Because if he does, then this apocalypse is what awaits him. Trust me, it will work.”

“...If you say so.” The Other Side scoffed. “But why did _I_ have to be the one he’s supposed to distrust? Why couldn’t it be you?”

“I’ve already told you this. Because that wouldn’t work.” Pink Steven said. “In White’s head, he knew he needed me. He had never met before that, but somehow he knew. He would not believe that I would _completely_ betray him after I saved both our lives and stopped White. He would see through that illusion relatively quickly. Name it as another lie.”

“...Is it bad I wish I could have been there to see that?” The Other Side queried. “I always hear stories about it, yet you blocked the memory off so that I can’t access it. It’s quite frustrating you know. All that Diamond stuff you told me to do earlier? Asking him about all the horrible stuff they did? When it came to White, I had a bit of a hard time. You know, since all you gave me to go with was a _brief description_.”

“But you did it nonetheless. I only wish we had not been sidetracked so much.” Pink Steven sighed. “Nevertheless, the plan has come to fruition. We are here. We are showing him what will happen. And he will continue believing that you are evil, and I am good.”

“Pft. Good. Evil. Who cares.” The Other Side chuckled. “Neutral, at best. I mean, look at this. This is _horrible_. Making him think Beach City is destroyed, his home devastated, and all of his friends and family dead. This is...a pretty messed thing to do.”

“He hasn’t gotten to the dead friends and family yet.” Pink Steven noted. “He’s still in Little Homeworld, moving towards the shelter, just as planned.”

“But you get what I’m saying, right?” The Other Side asked. “If he finds out about this...about our little “alliance” and the way we tricked him with those arguments…”

“He will distrust us and hate us forever, yes.” Pink Steven agreed. “Which is why we must keep up the charade forever. He is our human half. The most valuable half, but also the most gullible half. It is our job to keep him safe, because he has all the power over Steven.”

“Yeah...imagine if you really _could_ take over.” The Other Side pondered. “We wouldn’t have to deal with any of this in the first place. You’d be doing it as often as possible, admit it.”

“I...admit it.” Pink Steven said. “It is possible that he would be stuck in here all the time, watching me control Steven and fix everything. If only I had been able to do something like that from the _beginning…_ ” He pouted. “This all could have gone a lot quicker. Not to mention I wouldn’t have needed to create _you_ in the first place.”

“Hmm...hey, there’s an idea. Why can’t we just do that?” The Other Side asked.

“Do what? Create...you? Again?”

“Not _that.”_ The Other Side sighed, rolling its eyes. “Keep him in here. I mean, look down there. Look at what he’s doing. With a little memory manipulation, he believes that all of this is real. Sure, he’s starting to notice that a few things are off, but that was because you made this world in a hurry. But if _we_ create one together, and spend a long time perfecting it...then we could trap him in there, make him forget, and he can do _whatever he wants_ in there while we trounce about in the real world, fixing all the mistakes. You can’t take over on your own, but with my help, it might be possible.” The Other Side leaned forward and grinned. “Think about it. No more outbursts, no more human emotional problems, no. More. _Him_. Just you and me, running the show, like we should have from the start of all this.”

“...”

“It’s a pretty good idea, right?”

Pink Steven leaned away and took a deep breath. “...If you want this alliance to last a single second more, and you don’t want me to uncreate you as painfully as possible, then I suggest you shut your mouth and never suggest something like that _ever again_.” He seethed, glaring at him with such rage that the Other Side felt the urge to run and hide in a corner. 

“How’s _that_ for a good idea?”

“I-it’s the best one you’ve ever had.” The Other Side shuttered. “I-I’m sorry. I thought-”

“Thought what?” Pink Steven scoffed. “My objective, as it always has been, is to protect our human side. Using _any means necessary_ , whether he likes it or not. If it involves trickery, deception, even murder...then so be it.” He said flatly. “I made you for the same reason you told him he made you for. To convince him that the pink state isn’t his fault. That’s it.”

“I...remember, yes.” The Other Side acknowledged. “But this was months ago, and I haven’t accomplished anything since besides making things worse. All I’ve done is amplify the pink state when needed so he goes out of control. I didn’t even know _why_ you have me do that! Kinda...defeats the purpose of bettering him up, you know?”

“You’re missing the bigger game here.” Pink Steven said. “We haven’t gotten to the point where I show him memories of you doing that. It will _prove_ to Steven that the pink state is not entirely his fault, and that he could have controlled it without you. This will convince him to “destroy” you, and hopefully prevent him from going pink ever again. It will still be there, of course, it always will be. But this might take care of it for a while. A sort of placebo, if you will.”

“Okay...but I’m seeing something wrong with this plan.” The Other Side said. “Steven believes that he created me a few hours ago. How do you think he’s going to react when he sees footage of me altering his powers a few _months_ ago?” It asked.

“I’ll alter his memories again.” Pink Steven said. “Change the part where he thought that he created you hours ago, and replaced it with months.”

“Then what was even the point of…” The Other Side started, before groaning and giving it up. “Forget it.” They said. “You know what, you do you. You seem to have everything planned out, so why should I start complaining. It’s worked so far...or at least worked as much as needed.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean we’re not exactly doing this perfectly, are we?” The Other Side asked rhetorically. “If we had been doing this perfectly, then the pink state would have gotten wiped out after those therapy sessions, and this whole mess would have never needed to happen.”

“It was your idea to start giving him mood swings. You caused all the nonsensical suddenness with his personality that we’ve been seeing lately. Something that I never told you to do.” Pink Steven said.

“And whose fault is _that_ , I wonder?” The Other Side scoffed, all pretenses of fear gone. “If your crazy idea of not interfering and forcing him to say things during therapy sessions hadn’t been put into place, then _I_ wouldn’t have needed to make those mood swings!” It shouted. “He needed to see that therapeutic help was still required! If I hadn’t done that, then the same lies he told the therapist would latch on to his mind, and eventually to _us!_ Then he’d just get worse and worse while we’d be stuck up here, thinking that he was getting better and better. It would be a, and pardon my language, a total shitfest! Things could turn out worse than that vision we’re giving him. God forbid, he might keep them _alive_ for a while…”

“Still, you disobeyed me with those actions.” Pink Steven said. “You’re lucky I didn’t punish you for that. If your help still wasn’t required, I would have banished you by now. It was hardly your first offense after all.”

“You _made_ me screw things up and be mischievous.” The Other Side pointed out. “Of course I’m going to disobey orders! Even if I’m terrified of you, it’s in my nature! You can’t change that!”

“Actually, I can.” Pink Steven said. “But perhaps something for later.”

“Ah yes, we need to plan out more ways to torture Steven to show him why going pink is a bad idea.” The Other Side said enthusiastically/sarcastically. “Fun for the whole family. But...by the way, what was that whole thing with the cameras earlier? Him thinking about being in a compilation video? That wasn’t any of my doing. Did you do that?”

“I did no such thing, and was confused as well.” Pink Steven said. “I think it was just him having trouble processing all of these horrible things happening at once, and he tried to get himself to laugh.”

“Really?”

“Yeah.”

“That’s weird.”

“Human brains are weird.”

“ _Humans_ are weird.”

“Finally something we completely agree on.” Pink Steven said, rolling his eyes. “But either way, I think you should put a stop to that in case it happens again. Don’t want him to lose focus and think that none of this is real in the wrong way. Or he might go insane. And not in the pink way. In the human way.”

“If that happens, then what becomes of us?” The Other Side asked, slightly concerned.

“I think we would cease to exist.” Pink Steven said. “The amount of energy that would pour through the mindscape if our human side snapped would be enough to make the crack envelop everything. And I do mean _everything_.”

“Great…” The Other Side said sarcastically. “We’d fall in and die.” It huffed. “That crack is probably the only thing we’ve said to him that has been 100% the truth. How ironic that it is _also_ the only thing that can truly destroy us. Although I do wonder...what would the outcome be? Would his powers work with you dead? Would the pink state be a thing with me dead? Would he even be able to form sensible enough thoughts to activate those powers? There are so many possibilities here!”

“If I die, then the powers will still be there.” Pink Steven said. “I am merely the personification of our Gem, but I am not the conduit to its strength.”

“History says otherwise.” The Other Side hummed, flashing a brilliant gold color. “Every shield, every drop of spit, every single time he channels your energy is because you allowed it. Of course, with that crack, he doesn’t _need_ your permission anymore as it’s all spilling through and...and...oh.” It realized. “Wait, I think I get it now. If that crack is all there is-”

“Then he can channel _all_ of it.” Pink Steven said. “If he went mad without it being there, then he would not be able to access the Diamond forms abilities. But since it _is_ , and the insanity is feeding off of it, he can use it all. Which is bad news for everyone. Because not only will he have his normal powers, he’ll have my powers as well. My strength. Which means-”

“He’d be overpowered as hell.” The Other Side cursed. “Because that’s exactly what you are. _Overpowered_. Even the pink state has nothing on you. You could have shattered White back in her ship if you so desired. Hell, you could have shattered _all_ of them. White, Blue, Yellow, then all the Homeworld Gems outside. It’d be nothing short of a complete and total massacre.”

The Other Side then smiled, it’s grim spreading across its entire body. “Shame we never got to see you let loose like that…”

“That would have accomplished nothing.” Pink Steven said. “Besides, doing so would require me to be without our human half for a while, which would kill him.”

“True.” The Other Side acknowledged. “But hey, at least the Diamonds would be dead. Of course, the only problem then would be Spinel and...oh wait. Sorry, forgot.” It said. “Without Steven to give his “message to the Universe”, Spinel wouldn’t know about us, huh?”

“I’d still broadcast a message.” Pink Steven said. “Warning everyone to stay away from Earth or they would die. Then I’d let the Gem empire destroy itself with a civil war without any leadership from the Diamonds, and then sit back on Earth and watch the fireworks.”

“I thought you said you’d kill yourself if your human half died and you weren’t able to revive him.” The Other Side pointed out. “And...speaking of which...couldn’t you have just revived him if he died in White’s head?”

“No.” Pink Steven said. “We would not be able to fuse after his resurrection.”

“Why?”

“I am not sure,” Pink Steven said. “But I can sense when Steven can fuse with someone or not. And whenever Lars is near...I get nothing from him. Steven is unable to fuse with Lars, and thus _I_ would be unable to fuse with him. There’s something about our resurrection powers...that renders us unable to fuse.”

“Well that’s all...super convenient.” The Other Side complained. “But if Spinel _did_ appear after that message…?”

“I would shatter her and be done with it.” Pink Steven said.

“What if she rejuvenated you?”

“She wouldn’t get the chance.”

“Righhhhht.” The Other Side said slowly. “But uh...back to the main topic at hand, what’s next on the agenda?”

“Well, it seems Steven is still moving towards Little Homeworld’s fallout shelter.”

“And he’s gonna find bupkiss inside, right?”

“Not entirely that, but…” Pink Steven replied. “He’s going to find something. Little surprise I planted, if you will. The masterstroke before the main event, if you will.”

“Oooh, I can’t wait.” The Other Side said, moving up and down like an excited child. “I mean, I could just look inside and see for myself at any time, but that ruins the surprise, you know? I want this to be perfect…”

“I...don’t know.” Pink Steven said. “But once he leaves the shelter, everything else should fall into place without him needing any more interference from us.”

“Perfect.” The Other Side hummed, before sighing. “Got any popcorn?”

“We don’t need to eat.” 

“Pft.” It shook its head. “Spoilsport.”

***

‘There. I...made it.’ Steven thought, as the fallout shelter, which he had spent almost a half-hour practically crawling to, finally appeared in his sights. His mood quickly changed to an overjoyed one as he realized that he would no longer have to breathe in any more polluted air, and best of all, it had been opened very recently, as evident by the way the handle was positioned. Which meant someone was inside. Which meant all his friends and family could still be alive.

He speed-walked over, the fastest way he could move at the moment, and grabbed the handle. Steven started twisting to the side, every single one of his muscles aching as it slowly turned. The fact that he had no Gem strength combined with the smoke and heat making him feel weaker made the whole process an excruciating one, but willpower won over exhaustion and a loud _click_ was heard as the handle stopped and the door swung open, sounding like an old rusty gate. Steven wasted no time in stepping inside and pulled the door shut behind him, closing it with a slam that echoed loudly throughout the interior of the shelter.

Finally inside and safe, Steven leaned against the door, panting and wheezing for air. Although the air inside the shelter was stale and made chalk dust appetizing in comparison, it was far superior to the outside. And even better, there were specialized gas masks down here in case something went wrong, so even if he _did_ have to go out again, this time he’d have protection.

“Screw...that…” He breathed. “I'm never going out there again if I can’t help it.”

Steven then sighed and turned around, where he was met with nothing but darkness. In front of him was a large metal staircase that led down to the main shelter, bedrock surrounding it on all sides. He couldn’t make out any noises or breathing beside his own, but he knew that this was no reason to panic. The shelter had multiple levels after all. Bismuth had taken every precaution, so they might have been simply deeper inside.

He gulped, shook his head, and started making his way down the stairs, his partially melted sandals sticking to them as he moved underground. Steven had half a mind to take them off, but realized that this was a bad prospect. The last time he went down here he saw a couple of rats scurrying along, probably something one of the Gems that loved animals brought in thinking they could be pets, and the last thing he wanted was any ones that they missed suddenly gnawing on his toes.

Of course, his sandals wouldn’t provide much protection from that, but it was still comforting to have _something_ in place.

But anyways, once Steven finally reached the bottom step, he was greeted with a rather loud crunching sound as his foot hit the ground. He groaned out loud, not wanting to know what it was but fully aware that he would soon enough. He fumbled for the light switch that was on the right side of the wall, grumbled to himself about why it wasn’t placed at the top of the stairs, and found it after a few seconds of searching. He flipped it on, and was greeted with the shocking sight of...

...the same boring, old shelter that he had been greeted with the _last_ time he was here. And it was evidently rat-free. None of the critters were anywhere in sight, much to the relief of his feet. 

As for the crunching sound, Steven looked down and saw that it was simply a bag of unopened chips that fell from one of the nearby food storage shelves. He rolled his eyes and picked up the bag before putting it back in its proper place, and Steven allowed himself a thirty-second moment of leisure where he scanned the entire room.

The first level of the shelter was simple but effective. One wall was lined with thousands of packages and cans, the expiration dates years away. The other wall had rows of water bottles and other liquids, all arranged in alphabetical order. (And possibly color-coded as well.) The rest of the level was a long hallway with a door at the end, with thick metal plates covering the floor and ceilings. Fluorescent lights burned overhead, emitting a low hum that would have given any elementary school student an enormous sense of deja-vu.

It was all in order.

Nothing was out of place.

Not a speck of blood, dirt, or anything else that would make Steven suspicious. In fact, compared to the mess outside, he thought it looked almost _too_ perfect…

***

“Okay Pinkie, do something about that. He’s starting to get suspicious.”

“...Don’t order me around. And what exactly do you want me to-”

“ _Anything_ that reminds him of the fact that the outside looks like the environment of a DOOM game. I can only affect his mind, and I’m having trouble convincing him otherwise…”

“You worry too much.” 

“...That is easily the most hypocritical thing you have ever said. Now...please get to world-building. In the literal sense.”

“...Fine. But give me orders again, and-”

“Yes, I get it.”

***

“Hello?” Steven called out. “Is anyone down here?”

No answer aside from the echo of his voice. He didn’t expect one, considering that he was alone and anyone in the lower levels wouldn’t be able to hear him anyways, but he was hoping for _something_. Steven sighed and placed his hands on his hips, preparing to try again.

But a moment later, the shelter started shaking violently and the lights began to flicker, like an earthquake was tearing the entire place apart. Food and water fell off the shelves in droves and Steven clung to one as he struggled to stay on his feet, his normal breathing turning into full-on hyperventilating. A second later, the quake stopped as soon as it had come, but it was enough to convince Steven that the first level was _not_ as safe as it seemed and that he better get moving.

“Okay. Calm down. They’re in the lower sections.” He told himself. “First one's only a placeholder and an area for extra food storage after all. Nobody would be down here, especially not with those mini-earthquakes going on.” Steven then let go of the shelf and prepared to make his way down the hall, but stopped before he even took the first step, almost frozen in place.

“Wait...is it safer above ground or below ground for earthquakes…?”

Unfortunately, this answer would have to come later, as another quake, much more violent this time, rattled the place and nearly threw him off his feet. Any cans and bottles that didn’t fall from the shelves the first time finally dropped to the ground, and Steven felt the internal temperature begin to rise as the heat from the outside began to slip in through the cracks that the quake had created. After this, Steven wasted no time and jogged down the hall, taking care not to step on the fallen food items until he reached the door, which was more like a vault door than a practical one. He grabbed the turning mechanism and twisted it around, identical to how he entered the shelter in the first place. After a minute or so of painstaking turning (accompanied by more earthquakes), he pulled it open and entered the second staircase. Giant, metal, and descending deep into the Earth. 

It was also, like the first staircase had been, shrouded in darkness. He fumbled for a light switch to his left, found none, and then tried his right. Again, none. A quick look to both sides confirmed that there were no switches in sight, which was extremely odd considering that…

That…

Actually...no, that wasn’t odd at all. Because Steven suddenly remembered an earlier conversation with Bismuth from a week ago, about how most of the staircases (but not the main rooms themselves thankfully) would be without lights for a while so they can replace the old ones with cleaner and more energy-efficient ones. Steven had no idea why this operation was still ongoing a week later, but he deduced that Bismuth must have a lot to unpack already. She always seemed to be working on something, but she couldn’t be in ten places at once.

The odd part, however, was that this memory didn’t feel right. For some reason, a small part of Steven was telling himself that this was incorrect, that something was wrong. Had he _really_ had that conversation with Bismuth? This small part, the little whisper in the back of his head, was telling that he didn’t. Almost like the memory of it had been implanted into his mind...

A loud bang behind him derailed Steven’s thought train as the earthquakes started increasing in ferocity, practically throwing up the metal floorboards behind him. He had no idea why so many were happening at once, or why they were getting stronger, but he sure as heck wasn’t staying up top anymore. He grit his teeth in fear, grabbed the railing with both hands, and started descending the steps, tapping each one with his foot before putting his full weight on it as if to check that it was there. Which it might not of course. He couldn’t exactly see anything below him, and the odds that a part of the staircase had collapsed was entirely possible, all things considered.

But Steven forced all these thoughts out of his mind, focusing solely on putting one foot in front of the other. The staircase only had a few landings; it wasn’t that deep. But just like outside, the air seemed to suffocate Steven as he went further down, almost like it was growing thicker. Far too thick for Bismuth’s approval. There was no way this was natural. She had Amethyst shape-shift a pair of lungs as they were building it, making sure that the air inside would be safe for human use.

Right?

Had she done that?

Steven wasn’t sure, as the whole “false implanted memory” feeling returned as soon as it had originally come to mind. Yes, something was definitely up. He didn’t have the foggiest idea as to what, but something about all of this was just...wrong.

“Okay, stop. Come on.” He told himself. “Snap out of it. If there’s something wrong with your memories for whatever reason, then you can figure it out _after_ you save everyone and yourself from this inferno. Gotta find them first. I don’t matter. I don’t matter…”

“...”

“Wait, isn’t that exactly what Connie said when Pearl was training her? Why would I-”

Before he could say anything more, a terrific jolt almost threw Steven off his feet, as the staircase started shaking like a giant had grabbed it and was kicking it around like a football. Once again his thoughts were conveniently derailed by the quake, and pure panic took over and made him latch onto the railing for dear life. Unable to do anything, risk he slip and break his neck or even fall over the railing entirely, Steven shut his eyes and waited for it to be over, silently praying that the staircase wouldn’t fall apart. without any powers, Steven was helpless and completely at nature’s will, and the idea of all that feebleness that flowed through him was terrifying.

Because now that a single misplaced step could kill him, Steven wasn’t sure if he even wanted to move forward anymore. Because with so much at risk already, he couldn’t afford to risk himself as well.

***

“What are you doing?”

“...This isn’t me, Pinkie.”

“I _told_ you not to...forget it. He's not supposed to be having these kinds of thoughts, so fix it.”

“I can’t. His emotions are too strong right now. The earthquake you summoned was too powerful and terrified him into metaphorically curling up into a ball. Anything I put into his head will be brushed off and ignored. Normally he wouldn’t feel like this, but because you took away his powers it’s making him feel weak and helpless. It doesn’t make much sense from a narrative standpoint, but it’s what we’re dealing with now.”

“So you’re telling me we can only wait? That's it?”

“Yup.”

“...”

“...”

“Fix it.”

“Oh, my god…”

***

‘Stay here.’ Steven thought, still terrified out of his mind. ‘Just stay here and don’t move until it’s all over. It’s safe here. You shouldn’t...you can’t go down there. The stairs could collapse at any time, and you’re already weak from being outside for so long.’ He panted and slowly opened his eyes, watching the staircase beneath him sway from side to side like a chandelier. The earthquake had subsided somewhat, but was still effective enough that he could feel it rattling his bones. Quite possibly literally.

‘It’s okay to be afraid…’ He desperately told himself, thinking back to what he told Lars that one time. ‘It’s okay to be afraid. It’s natural. It’s just...a human reaction. You can’t stop those. No matter how strong you might be…you’d be afraid of this no matter what. It’s a collapsing staircase after all. Falling to pieces in the dark. Any sensible person would be afraid. Even the bravest ones, like Connie or Pearl.’

‘Connie…’ He gulped, images of his best friend flashing through his mind, quickly replaced by the firestorm outside. ‘Wherever you are, please be okay. Please be okay. I don't want to lose you. Not like this.’

Steven trembled and carefully moved his foot forward, aiming it towards the next step. His hands slid down the railing at one millimeter a second, so slow that it was almost impossible to see the movement. He lifted his foot into the air and almost started crying at the feeling of only having one leg holding him up in the middle of the quake, a feeling that was so terrifying that all logic flew out the window as he grit his teeth, forced himself to move forward at almost superhuman speed, and landed his feet on the next steps with a satisfying _clang_. 

Steven froze the second both his feet landed in the step and started breathing again, clutching onto the railing and leaning against it like a therapy animal. He could still feel everything beneath his feet shaking intensely, making him want to curl up into a ball and cry, but the small and almost nonexistent amount of courage he had left prevented this. Instead, he continued trembling in place and darted his eyes downward, even if there was nothing to see.

‘Okay.’ He thought, mentally preparing himself for the perilous journey of descending the stairs. ‘Next one. Just one at a time, Universe. You can do it. One at a time…’

***

“Oh thank god, it worked.” The Other Side gasped, slouching and then slowly lowering itself to the ground. Once it hit rock bottom it let out a groan like it was exhausted, and lay there for a few seconds, neither moving nor speaking.

“Hm. He...actually did it.” Pink Steven said, noticeably impressed. “I’m surprised that little push you gave him did the trick. Even from here, I could feel his fear of falling off that staircase. It was…”

“Immense?”

“Yes. That.” Pink Steven agreed. “Which was rather annoying, I will admit. I didn’t expect him to be so afraid.”

“Then why did you keep jiggling the staircase like that?” The Other Side asked. “If you wanted him to stop being afraid, then you were accomplishing quite the opposite. It’s like he thought. Being scared of stuff like that is a natural reaction. Of _course_ he was going to freak out. You took a little too far.”

“I needed to make sure his mind was free of all assumptions that this wasn’t real.” Pink Steven said. “I knew that making him afraid and thus distracting him would accomplish this, but I still sensed some doubt in him, even when he was so terrified that he couldn’t even open his eyes. I didn’t go “too far”. I did what was necessary.”

“Does he _have_ any doubt after that? I notice the staircase isn’t shaking anymore, but he’s still going about one step every ten seconds…”

“Yes, he does, but not nearly enough for him to start looking around for any signs that this isn’t reality. Any feelings like that will be discarded like the rest.” Pink Steven said. “The earthquake did its trick, along with your emotional manipulation.”

“Hm.”

“And the upside of all of this is that we don’t have to be dealing with him constantly glancing over his shoulder, so to speak.” Pink Steven explained. “Again, from here on out, things should go exactly as we planned. And he hasn’t even made it outside the shelter yet. One could even say...that it’s going better than expected.”

“I see…” The Other Side mumbled, before sighing and finding an excuse to make Pink Steven stop rambling on about their plans. “Pink?”

“Yes?”

“Are we...bad people, for doing this?” It asked from the floor. “Is this _bad?”_

The second the Other Side finished asking this question, Pink Steven put on a face like he had just been shot in the foot, and the pain was rocketing through his whole body. He narrowed his eyes slightly, straightened himself up, and let out a sigh of his own, staring down at the Other Side while it looked up.

“Would you believe me if I told you I wasn’t sure myself?”

“Probably.” The Other Side replied. “I get you’re not omniscient. You know things. You don’t know things. That’s everyone. And to be honest, I wasn’t exactly expecting you to have a clear answer to that. I was just hoping _someone_ did.”

“Whoever that “someone” is, they don’t exist.” Pink Steven muttered. “The answer to a question like that is entirely up to personal opinions and vendettas. One person may say it is necessary. Another may say it is monstrous. We...are the former in this situation.”

“I think I’m a bit of both.” The Other Side revealed. “Even for us...this is a horrible thing to do.”

“You already mentioned something along those lines.” Pink Steven pointed out. “Earlier, back when he was still trouncing about outside.”

“Yeah? Well, maybe it needs to be said again.” The Other Side explained. “Because as cruel as I can be at times when I’m going all pink, I don’t enjoy doing stuff like _this_. This is straight torture. I’m not entirely convinced that this plan will work, despite you constantly saying that it will. Yes, he will see what happens if he lets go. But he will _also_ see that we were the ones who forced him to live through this hell.”

“What’s your point?”

“You said earlier that if he finds out about our little alliance, then he will hate and distrust us forever. And _that_ is the point. He’s going to be pissed. ” The Other Side said bluntly. “At you. At us. For putting him through this. You want to prove one point with this. I’m scared that you might prove multiple, especially a few that we’re trying to get _out_ of his head.”

Pink Steven tilted his head. “Explain.”

“Let’s look at it this way.” The Other Side stated. “Earlier, back when it was just me and him, I told Steven that his friends didn’t care about him. That they lie to him, distrust him, and will abandon him once they see the state he’s in. You got him to snap out of it somewhat, but I still think those feelings are engraved in his mind. He _did_ believe me for a while. If I hadn’t kept changing topics and starting new conversations like you instructed, then he might have forced his way out of mindscape and let go right then and there.” It huffed. “You may have changed his mind, but the impact of what I told him hasn’t left.”

“...Keep going.” Pink Steven requested. “What’s your point?”

“My point is that he will not like how you treated him.”  
The Other Side explained. “You are him, and he is you. Just as I am a figment of you. Naturally, he assumes that you are the person he can trust the most right now, since he thinks that you have his best interests in mind and would never purposefully hurt him.”

The Other Side got up and leaned towards Pink Steven, it’s eyes glowing brightly. “That is _not_ what we are doing right now. This is hell for him. What he's seeing right _now_ is just a glimpse of what’s to come. When he leaves the shelter and I convince him to go to Jasper, we both know what he’ll find in the end. How do you think he’s going to react? Do you think he’ll keep trying to push on? That he’ll cry and keep going?” It shook its head. “No. A person can only go through so much before they reach their breaking point, no pun intended. Once he sees them...gods, I don’t even know. But he’ll be angry, furious even, not sad. And in the unlikely event that he _does_ become sad first, it won’t last forever. Give it a few minutes and the rage will arrive. Steven is the most pacifistic out of any of us, but he’s already in a, _ahem_ , shitty situation. His mental state is terrible, even with the memories we’re blocking. He’s a boiling pot with, and seeing all of _that_ will cause it to blow right off.”

“I think...I see where you’re getting with this.” Pink Steven said. “But how can you be so sure that this is what will happen?”

“I just explained why.” The Other Side said in exasperation. “His breaking point. His poor mental state. After he stops being a crybaby, he will want to track down and _murder_ whoever did this. No more pacifism, no more talking it out, no more savior of the universe. Not after _that_.” It groaned. “Dominator of the universe, maybe...”

“And the person who did it…”

“Yes. It’s _us.”_ The Other Side said. “We forced him to live through this. We are now the instruments of destruction for his mind. This will both hurt and help him, and when he finds out he will want to repay us in kind. Like I said. _Murder_ whoever did this. He’ll try to kill us for what we put him through.”

“That’s impossible.” Pink Steven said. “Even if he had full control of the mindscape to the point of warping reality inside it, the worst he could do is make me retreat into _my_ area. Our Gem. He’s unable to do any permanent harm to me.”

“Are you sure?” The Other Side asked. “You have threatened me with uncreation several times. Who's to say the same thing can’t happen to you?”

“It can’t.”

“How can you be so su-”

“IT CAN’T.” Pink Steven roared furiously, causing the Other Side to shrink back. “STEVEN IS…” He paused for a moment and regained his composure, visibly disgusted with himself. “...he is not, and will never be that strong in here. And _I_...cannot be harmed. I have been in charge of this world for over a decade and a half in his time and a good few centuries in mine. I know how to manipulate it to the highest degree.”

“I-if that’s true, then why did you even need me to begin with?” The Other Side queried nervously. “You said earlier that you needed my help because I could control things you couldn’t!”

“Because I don’t want to have to run it all by myself.” Pink Steven explained. “And in fact, you are not privy to that information. You were made to do your job, and you are not allowed to question it.”

“Then that makes me nothing but a slave.” The Other Side pointed out. “Following your rules. Doing whatever you want with the risk of being punished. And I get absolutely no reward for it besides staying alive.”

“Precisely.” Pink Steven said. “Staying alive _is_ your reward. As I mentioned earlier, you are a bit of a bother. Occasionally balking on your duties, talking back, and frankly just being a pain.”

“Your fault. You made me that way.”

“I’m not having this conversation again.” Pink Steven said. “Not with _this_ going on. If you want to file a complaint with me about how I treat you, then you can do it after we fix Steven’s mind. But until then, no more small talk, no more jokes, no more attempts at trying to be charming. If you have something to say, it must be related to the current situation, _nothing else_. So shapen up and do your damn job.” Pink glared intensely at the Other Side, who responded by curling into a tight ball. “Or I can remind you just how _easily_ you can be replaced.”

“Y-yeah. Okay.” The Other Side breathed, a spark of terror flowing through its body.

“Good. Now get up from the floor.” Pink Steven demanded. “You’re getting it all filthy.”

The entity did as it was told, slowly raising itself from the floor. It was still completely terrified, however, and had made itself no bigger than a cat. A cat terrified into obedience. 

And now suddenly willing to do whatever its creator said.

***

‘Almost there...just a bit closer...two...and three!’

As the last syllable went through his mind, Steven sucked his breath in, tensed his entire body up, and hopped down to the next step, moving just as fast as he had for the previous stairs. And the second both his feet landed back on the ground he gripped the railing and tightly shut his eyes, preparing himself for a fall in case everything started collapsing again.

It didn’t.

He breathed a sigh of relief, the 30th one in the last hour or so, and opened his eyes again. Still a pointless gesture, as darkness was all he could see, but Steven considered it to be important. Saw it as a way to conquer his fears. To no longer have to hide away in himself away from the world and this staircase which was needlessly taking up too much of his time.

And that hour had been a difficult one. One whole hour ever since the earthquake started ripping apart the stairs. One hour since he had that panic attack and broke down crying, all the horrors he had witnessed coming to him at full force. It had been approximately 57 minutes since he had cleared the first step, which took so much willpower to accomplish that he thought a blood vessel in his brain might explode from it.

But since then, he had been making a lot of progress at a much better rage. One step every couple of minutes. Giving it time for the adrenaline and panic to wear down. The shaking had stopped about ten minutes in, and there had been no aftershocks since. The earthquakes had either passed or were too small to notice now. Either way, he was grateful for it. Made things a lot easier when his limbs didn’t feel like they were about to fall.

But even so, Steven still didn’t let his guard down. He had heard the popping as several of the bolts that attached the stairs to the wall had flown off into the dark, forced out by the pressure. He felt the trembling beneath his feet as the metal structure groaned and struggled to stay upright each time. The entire thing was insanely fragile in its current condition, and Steven didn’t want to take any chances. Even now, only a few feet away from the landing that led to the next level (if he was counting correctly), Steven was being extraordinarily careful. If the entire thing collapsed right now he wouldn’t be anywhere near fast enough to get away in time, and being crushed under a few tons of jagged metal wouldn’t help matters.

And yes, he was going extremely fast when actually traversing from one step to another, but a small part of Steven’s brain told him that if he was fast instead of slow, the staircase wouldn’t collapse. Similar to yanking a Jenga block out of a tower instead of trying to pull it out with surgical precision.

And that “small” part was trying very hard to convince him that that made _any_ sort of sense.

‘Alright. Next.’ He thought, lifting his foot ever so slightly. ‘Careful...careful...and…’ He gulped. ‘...Now!’

Like a gun had been fired to start a race, Steven slammed his foot down on the next step and then quickly did the same with the other, then wrapped his elbow around the railing. He then ceased all his movements as the staircase made a few creaking sounds, which stopped a moment later. The same formula that he had been repeating dozens of times, each one more nerve-racking than the last.

Total elapsed time: 1 second.

‘Okay.’ He thought. ‘The total number of staircases I have to descend to get to the next level is four, with two landings. Each staircase has ten steps, which is 40 in total. I’ve already got past the landings and three of the staircases, and I’ve gone down 8 steps in the fourth staircase. Which means if I jump the rest of the way...I won’t be hurt by the fall. It’s a few feet down. Then I run to the door, which is straight ahead, open it, and then I’ll finally make it to the next level. Don’t stop, don’t think, do it as fast as you can and end this mess.’

Steven huffed after these calculations and hoped he had thought all this out correctly. Bismuth had him and several others memorize the amount of steps after telling them the staircases were going to be lights out for a while, in case something like this ever happened. Although it had seemed like a bit much at the time, now Steven couldn’t be more grateful for her foresight. 

‘Jump.’ He told himself. ‘Let go of the railing, and jump down. No hesitation, no fear, just _jump_.’

Easier said than done. Because Steven had no idea what the condition at the bottom of the stairs was. For instance, if the floor was cracked and broken with all the tiles sticking out of the ground, then he could land on one, twist his ankle, accidentally grab the staircase for support, and then bring the whole thing down on top of his head.

That was one terrible option. One of dozens his fear-soaked brain was creating, all of them equally horrible to think about.

‘Come on…’ Steven seethed. ‘Ignore them. If the floor was destroyed to that degree, then some pieces of it would have landed on the stairs, and you haven’t felt anything like that. Just shut up and stop thinking that way…”

He unhooked his elbow from the railing and lowered his trembling hands.

‘Get ready…’

Steven bent his knees back and lifted the back of his feet off the ground, trying not to tremble.

‘And jump!’

Then with a push and a woosh, Steven did exactly that. He leaped upwards and outwards, the staircase letting out a clang as he used the dilapidated structure as his launchpad. He flew through the air for a split second, and then landed flat on his feet. Solid ground. No upturned tiles. No stones littering everything. Nothing that his brain feared was waiting for him.

Except for the stairs of course, which started creaking and groaning like never before. His instincts kicked in a and he sprinted forward, eventually slamming straight into the steel door that led to the next level. His forehead felt like it was on fire from the impact, but he pushed past the pain and fumbled for the handle. After finding it three seconds later, Steven twisted it as hard as he could. The door slowly swung open at a snail's pace, while a loud cracking sound came from behind Steven, and he heard (and felt) another bolt from the staircase go flying and whizz an inch past his head. But as terrifying as this was, the hybrid didn’t stop. After ten seconds of painstaking tugging, the door finally opened enough that he could slip through. 

‘Hurry!’ He yelled at himself, as the sounds of falling metal from behind started getting closer. _‘Hurryhurryhurryhurry!_ ’ And then with a few awkward maneuvers, Steven managed to squeeze into the opening he created and slipped inside. But he didn’t stop. Not even for a second. Once there, he took hold of the other side of the door and began pulling it back, during which another bolt flew in and landed somewhere behind him. If this kept up…

‘Almost...there…’ Steven groaned, his arm muscles feeling like they had been dipped in acid. But after one final tug, the door slammed shut and locked automatically, sealing him inside. The entire staircase finally gave way just as it closed, and through the door, Steven could hear the insane cacophony of noise as it all tumbled down.

And then all was quiet, except for Steven’s breathing. The remains of the stairs had settled, and he was all alone.

He gulped, closed his eyes again, and sank to the floor like a drop of water sliding down a wall. Steven didn’t even bother trying to soften his fall as his knee buckled out from under him, crashing to the ground and making him fall flat on his stomach. He panted for a few moments before rolling over onto his back and splaying his arms out like he was making a snow angel. An exhausted, scared, absolutely-done-with-all-of-this snow angel. He tried to keep the tears down, but the willpower he had left wasn’t enough. He started sobbing like a child, wishing that someone was there to hold him. Connie, Pearl, Garnet...heck, even Amethyst. He just wanted someone to be there for him.

Because if he never found anyone of them, then this would have all been for nothing.

***

“We have to snap him out of that.”

“No. Let the tears come.”

“...But won’t that just make this last longer?” The Other Side asked, still too scared (and smart) at the moment to comment on how “that’s a terrible idea”.

“Yes. But he needs this.” Pink Steven said. “After that, he needs to do something that will allow him to calm down. If sobbing on the floor is what does that, then so be it.”

“Okay…” The Other Side mumbled. “But what now? What about the other staircases?”

“They are not damaged by the quake I caused. He will be able to traverse them safely.” Pink Steven said. “And even if he is too afraid, then you will work your magic and convince him not to be.”

“...Okay. And then...he’ll eventually find the emergency exit?”

“Yes. And you’ll have to plant fake memories about Bismuth building them.” Pink Steven confirmed. “So why don’t you start doing that right now, and come back here when I need you.”

“...”

“That’s an order. Do I need to remind you-”

“No! No! You don't!” The Other Side blurted out. They walked away, but not before mumbling under their breath, _“Because I swear I’ll find a way to do the same thing to you_.”

***

Back in the “real” world, Steven had downgraded from full-on sobbing to tiny sniffles, courtesy of him practically running out of tears as he went on. His cries went unheard by no one but himself, and Steven was beginning to wonder if his friends were truly in the shelter or not. If they had been, they would have been at least a few standing right in front of him, on the second level. But there was no one here. Just him, alone, crying in the dark. Why he hadn’t gone for the light switch yet was anyone’s guess, although it was likely so that if anyone _did_ come by, they wouldn’t see him as the mess he currently was.

‘It’s okay…’ Steven told himself. ‘It’s okay. You got past the stairs. They can't hurt you anymore.’ He whimpered like a scared child. ‘You don’t...have to deal with them. No more earthquakes, no more stairs, no more nothing. You’re okay, Universe. You made it.’

These claims were, of course, nothing more than a coping mechanism, as Steven was fully aware that he’d have to face more stairs, and possibly more earthquakes if he wished to traverse further into the shelter. Already it had taken him more than an hour to get where he was now, and with seven levels in total, Steven wasn’t sure if he had it in him at the moment to keep moving.

‘Maybe I’ll just take a nap here…’ He thought. ‘Close my eyes for a few minutes and relax. If my family is down here, they’re safe. They have plenty of food and water and supplies and they’re _totally_ not worried sick about me! Thinking about how I might still be out there, in that wasteland, alone and burning and...dead.’

Steven narrowed his eyes as more tears flowed down his cheeks, which then ceased. He let out a gasp as the familiar feeling of water dripping from his eyes fell away. After so many minutes, his tear ducts had had enough, and now all that was left was his feelings. 

And that almost seemed like a sign to him, saying that he couldn’t do that to them. Prolong _their_ feelings. Their pain over whether he was dead or not. Because he had to be outside for a reason. Steven personally thought some kind of self-sacrifice was involved in that whole matter, but until he met someone else, nothing could be confirmed. Including what the Gems and Connie knew about his condition. But if the state of Beach City was anything to go by...it was safe to assume that _they_ assumed he wasn’t doing so hot.

‘No more tears...He thought. ‘Is the actual universe trying to tell me something, or was that just a complete coincidence?’

After a fleeting moment of contemplation, Steven settled on “complete coincidence”. If the universe was trying to tell him something, it was doing a lousy job. He rubbed his forehead and pushed himself up, shaking away the numbness that had formed in his hands. He then solemnly looked back at the door he just came through, something that he couldn’t open again. With the stairs gone, and his powers not working, the mess that lay through that door wasn’t an option for escape anymore, even _if_ it posed no more danger to him.

But this was only a minor setback, and Steven refused to let himself panic any further. There were other entrances and exits after all. Bismuth was smart enough to build more than one. There was one hidden in the forge, a giant porthole-like hatch with a ladder that led to the third level, and another in Peridot’s greenhouse and Lapis’ art studio, tucked away behind a few money trees and a pile of art supplies, respectively. When Steven asked why Bismuth had requested that they be hidden, she merely said that it was another precaution. He wasn’t exactly sure what it was a precaution _against_ , but he didn’t argue against it. If there was anything Steven learned from watching Bismuth build the shelter, it was that she had a reason for everything she created in it.

But back in the present, the best option for escape now (after he searched all the levels of course) was the hatch on level six, one that lay directly underneath the giant tower/castle structure they had. Of all the buildings, that one had been in the best shape and was closest in comparison to everything else, so it was likely that anyone trying to get into the shelter would head there first. The one Steven used had only been the one closest to the entrance, but now he realized that he probably should have just headed for the tower one first. Would have made things a lot quicker.

However, there was no time to dwell on past mistakes. Steven wiped his eyes clean of any leftover tears and fumbled across the wall for the switch. Once he found it he flipped it on (but made sure to have his eyes covered this time, lest he be temporarily blinded by the sudden brightness again). The fact that the lights weren’t on in the first place was troubling, but Steven hoped that it was irrelevant.

Emphasis on “hoped”.

Slowly taking his hands away from his face one sliver at a time, Steven saw his suspicions confirmed as the second level was vacant of anyone but himself, identical to how the first one was. But the level _itself_ was not identical. This one was much wider and served a different person. Dozens of wall beds were built into the...walls, all of them designed for both humans _and_ Gems. Next to each bed was a small night light-esque mechanism, with an extra wall socket beside it. Underneath each bed was a compartment, which Steven knew carried toiletry supplies such as toothpaste, floss, and toilet paper. At the far end of the room were six bathrooms, fully equipped with showers, sinks, toilets...everything. This...was the comfort level. Where people were supposed to hold up so they could sleep, relax, and use the bathroom in case of emergencies. 

It was also the level where Steven had hoped most everyone would be. But alas, those hopes were dashed to pieces for the millionth time today, and he was still alone. The beds were untouched, the bathrooms vacant, and unlike the first level, nothing was out of place. No random bags of chips lying around. It was like everything had been cleaned and washed just yesterday.

Steven huffed in annoyance as he surveyed everything, looking for any sign that he wasn’t by himself. But once he realized that he was searching for something that wasn’t there, he groaned, banged his head against the wall for a minute or so, and moved on. The second level held nothing for him. He made his way past the beds and the bathrooms, and quickly opened the hatch that led to the third staircase without much trouble. To his relief, it was completely intact and connected to the wall. No bolts flying everywhere trying to hit him. No creaking sounds that made him so nervous he felt he wanted to throw up. Unlike last time, there was no reason for him to be afraid here.

But, as expected, he still was. The memories from ten minutes ago began creeping into his mind at the sight, bringing with them the familiar anxiety, which _then_ brought questions that he never wanted to know the answer to.

_“What if it’s weaker than it looks?”_

_“What if more earthquakes occur, and the thing collapses while you’re still on it this time?”_

_“What if whatever caused the firestorm outside comes back and breaks into the shelter this time? Then what will you do?”_

All these “what if’s” began to have a massive effect on Steven's psyche, to the point where he wondered if he should just avoid walking down the stairs, jump over the railing to the next level, and hope for the best. But of course, he couldn’t do that. At the very least he'd break both his legs, and at most he’d become something for Bismuth to mop up off the floor later.

‘Oh, for the love of…’ He thought, pushing the questions as deep down as he could. ‘Just ignore them. Just go. Just _run_ like last time. You know how many stairs here are until each landing. You know exactly how many steps you have to take to cross each landing. You know the dimensions of the entire dang structure. Even if it’s dark, you could run your way through this no problem Steven. Just do it and get this over with.’

And for the first time since he entered the shelter, his body listened to what his brain was telling him with zero hesitation. He gulped and stepped forward, his half-melted sandals touching the edges of the first step. Staring down into the abyss again, Steven began getting a sense of deja-vu, and-

‘Stop it.’ He thought. ‘No more of that. No more negative thoughts. No more interruptions. No more anything. Just move forward, and do what you came here to do, Universe.’

‘You’ll find them. No matter what.’

Steven shook his head and entered the stairwell, making sure to grab the railing as he prepared to kick off his wild sprint.

‘No matter what.’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, Beach City is in the middle of a gigantic firestorm, and Steven thinks that all of it is real thanks to the Terrible Two. This illusion thing will span a few chapters as tensions between those two rise and Steven starts to see more and more holes in their little dream world. And...another new character will be introduced, one that will become a major player. As well as some old ones, coming back to haunt Steven. Fun for the whole family, like the Other Side said.


	15. Terminus

2 hours, thirty-seven minutes...and 45 seconds.

_That_ was the approximate length of time Steven had been in the bunker since he had first entered it, something that had felt like an eternity. Most of it was spent dealing with the stairwells, but of course, there were the _other_ things to take into account. Checking for people. Seeing if he was truly alone. And after six levels, he discovered that...there was nobody. Not a single soul was there beside him. 

Not in the comfort level.

Not in the entertainment level.

Not in the extra food and water storage level. (Which had been identical to the first level.)

Not in the level with the generators. 

And not in the level that had a bit of everything, the level that was for absolute emergencies only.

And this only left one to investigate. The boilers. The giant machines Bismuth had created that generated heat for the entire bunker. The generators produced electricity, but the boilers...were strictly for warming _everything_ up. At the lowest level, they were also at the safest point in probably a hundred square miles, so deep underground that it was a miracle there was any air down there to begin with. Any humans attempting to get in had to wear specialized gas masks, Steven included. It was an experience he was not looking forward to.

But all the other levels were empty, and thus he had no choice.

Standing at the top of the final stairwell, Steven looked behind him at level six, much bigger and wider than any previous ones. As stated before, it was a last-ditch place to retreat to in the event of a calamity, carrying a “little bit of everything”. It was also one of the biggest rooms Steven had ever seen in his life. Almost as big as the Diamond’s throne room, the only difference in size being that it lacked the immensely tall ceilings. There were dozens of beds. Thousands of gallons of water and cans of food. Eight bathrooms, four for each gender. And hidden in a “secret” wall compartment that Steven spotted instantly was a significant quantity of weapons, presumably to be used in case hostile entities attempted to break in.

And not just swords and spears and stuff like that. Oh no, this was _real_ weaponry. Drones designed by Peridot that could vaporize a boulder. Gem destabilizers that reminded him of the night Jasper came to Earth. And beyond that, several human guns, all with multiple clips of ammunition to go along with them. Steven didn’t know how Bismuth got them, why she thought it was a good idea to place them down here, or why he never knew of its existence in the first place, but needless to say, he quickly shut the wall compartment and tried to forget what he just witnessed, planning on chewing Bismuth out for putting that sort of stuff where any fool could find it, if they ever had to bring the town down here.

That is, of course, if she was even alive. And while Steven clung to hope, a small part of him was beginning to lose it. And most of him doubted that there was anyone in the bunker at all. Because if the Gems were going to fully retreat, level six is where they’d be. But they weren’t there. And neither was anyone else. _And_ again, the rest of the levels were equally devoid of life. No one playing games or reading books on the entertainment level. No one counting rations on the extra food and water storage level. And no one refilling the generators on the...generator level. 

And most especially, no one doing _anything_ on level six.

Which left only the boilers. A place where Steven knew no one would be, and no one wanted to be. The air was toxic, the heat was overwhelming, and a person could die of dehydration in a matter of minutes. It was not a place meant for organic life. Heck, it wasn’t a place meant for most _Gems_ either. But it was the most secure place Steven could think of, so if there was _anyone_ left...then they could only be down there.

He sighed and moved forward, the steps rattling under his feet as he casually went down them. After repeating the process several times, Steven wasn’t even the smallest bit afraid. The earthquake hadn’t reached this far down, and he knew that there was no real point in being scared of something that he knew wasn’t there. There were no rattling staircases, no loose bolts, nothing. He was completely safe, and at a certain point, his mind realized it.

It was just a shame that it hadn’t realized it earlier.

But after a brisk minute or so of descending into the dark, Steven made it to the bottom in record time. He felt along the walls until he found what he was looking for, but also dreaded finding. The gas masks. With his powers still unavailable, thus preventing him from placing a bubble around his head, this was the only way he could safely breathe. And while he was sure that he could take it for a lot longer than any normal human, his lungs felt like they were already in terrible shape from inhaling all those embers outside, and he’d rather not push it. Steven snatched the headpiece off the wall and put it on, his own breathing now deafening in his ears. His vision was also limited now, along with his sense of smell, but it was a small price to pay if it meant not dying from toxic fumes.

But he wasn’t quite ready yet. Because there was an extra precaution that would come in handy. The suits, something that had almost slipped his mind. Made specifically for any organics or “softer” Gems entering the boiler room. Created by Peridot using an experiment semi-liquid metal alloy, they were flame-proof to the point where they couldn't catch fire no matter what, even if they were doused in gasoline. Steven didn’t know half the things that went into its creation, but Peridot had personally attested to its strength by putting it on and jumping into a pit of lava prepared by Bismuth, much to the horror of the onlookers. (In retrospect, she admitted that it would have been best to explain what the suit was before jumping, so that it didn’t look like she had just shattered herself in front of a crowd.) The suits were silver in color and lined with materials that made a person unable to feel any sort of heat while inside them, and Peridot even said that they had an oxygen supply that could last for weeks if required. Steven wasn’t sure how this worked, considering he didn’t see any kind of storage tank _for_ the oxygen, but after seeing all the crazy things she invented, he came to realize that if Peridot said it it must be true.

Steven fumbled around until he found one and slipped it on, discovering that they were surprisingly quite comfortable, and Steven finished putting on the whole getup in a minute or so, now looking like he was wearing an experiment space suit. He could feel every inch of the inside of the suit pressing against him, making him feel slightly claustrophobic. But the pros heavily outweigh the cons. With this and the gas mask, he could conveniently and safely go into the boiler room, and even back outside if needed, not having to worry about being burned or inhaling any more fumes. 

If only Peridot had had enough materials at the beginning to stock some up above as well…

But that was something he could gripe about later. For now, Steven approached the final door and turned the giant knob at hard as he could, his arms already sore from doing so the last couple of times. Eventually, the door gave in and swung open, and Steven was hit in the face with a giant gush of air. It wasn’t hot or even mildly warm, proving the suits worked perfectly on him, but he could still feel the force of it. The excess heat was rapidly escaping the room after being shut in for so long, and Steven figured that he better hurry and close it off from the rest of the bunker if he didn’t want everything to start catching fire. He rushed in and slammed the door close, but couldn’t hide his relief/weariness at the sound.

Because it was the final door. And both of those emotions were something he now had in abundance.

Even if he was going to leave, the only way out now was a hatch that led to the surface. Which meant that his friends and family either had to be down here, or they were gone. Somewhere else, or dead.

And for a moment, he wasn’t sure he wanted to turn around. But he had to. He couldn’t get cold feet. Not now. Not after everything he made himself go through. Not after walking through the remains of Beach City and Little Homeworld, not after going down that staircase and crying like a frightened child, and not after hoping and praying that he’d find someone all the way through, only for those hopes to be sunken lower and lower with each step he took.

He wasn’t about to let that all go to waste. 

Taking a deep breath, Steven grabbed the last bit of courage he had left and turned around.

…

…

...

Nobody.

The boiler room was devoid of a single soul, just like he had been expecting. All the suits had still been there after all. All the masks. He had already realized it, but he didn’t even want to point it out to himself, lest he lose all hope.

And now that hope was almost gone. Burned away just like the town and everything else lost above. One more push, one more disappointment, anything at all that might prove to him that they were dead...would make it vanish entirely. He’d have nothing, and no real reason to push on. 

‘No. Don’t. Don’t do that.’ He thought, once again telling himself to knock it off. ‘Remember what you’ve been telling yourself for the past few hours. Just because they’re not here doesn’t mean they all died in that inferno. After all, something like that had to have a warning of some kind. The siren was destroyed after all. Maybe it went off, everyone evacuated, and then it was burned by whatever destroyed the rest of the town.’

Wishful thinking, again.

But wishful thinking was all Steven had at the moment. Even in the confines of the suit, he still clung to himself, repeating over and over that this would turn out okay, that they could rebuild, that he could heal or resurrect anyone who was hurt. Things might change for a while, sure, but eventually, he and everyone else would get their happily ever after.

Happily ever after.

Although what had happened the last time directly after he said that-

‘NO!’ He shouted internally. ‘None of that. I know what happened with Spinel, inner voice. But this time will be different. We can check everything afterward. Every colony, every space station, every secret garden the Diamonds could think of. No more Gems are hiding in places we don’t know about. No one vengeful towards _Pink_ that we don’t know about. It’s all going to be okay. We’ve handled threats like that before. We can handle them again.’

Steven then sniffed and would have wiped his eyes if he could, wondering just how much of that he believed and how much he made up in the spot for no reason other than to calm his nerves. Most of it had been made up, yes, but he did believe it.

Both then?

A dilemma for later, however. As per usual, there were more important things going on. He cleared his mind of any unnecessary thoughts and moved forward, the ground crunching under his feet as he inspected the area just like the previous six levels.

It was _enormous_.

Bigger than the Diamond throne room. Bigger than the entirety of the Beach City Funland. It was the biggest room Steven had ever seen...and he was left wondering how the heck Bismuth had made it in such a short time, and where she got the materials from. Because even for her, a project like this should have spanned years...decades even. Come to think of it, why didn’t he remember-

***

“He’s seeing through our bullshit!”

“Don’t use language like that.” Pink Steven requested. “It’s unnecessary. And what did I say about not speaking up unless-”

“Yes, I know, but this is important and worth mentioning!” The Other Side replied, who had put Steven’s thoughts on a sudden standstill so they could figure out what to do. “We have to fix it.”

“Then...fix it.” Pink Steven deadpanned. “Plant some false memories. Make him believe that some of Bismuth’s friends who are originally from Homeworld helped out. A few dozen Bismuth’s worked day and night to get the bunker done. Problem solved.”

“That won’t work.” The Other Side complained. “You made it too big. Too deep. He’s going to suspect that somethings wrong no matter what.”

“So this is my fault?”

The Other Side’s attitude halted like a two-way truck on the highway. “N-no. That’s not what I mean-”

“Then shut up and do what I tell you.” Pink Steven said. “How many times do I have to teach you that lesson?”

“You don’t have to teach me it at all.” The Other Side stuttered. “Trust me, I understand it perfectly fine.”

“Then act like...like...” Pink Steven paused and looked around, as if he had just noticed something suspicious. “Hmmm…”

“What’s wrong?”

“We’re not alone.”

“Uh, yeah. Steven’s right there. We’re never alone in-”

“Not that, idiot.” Pink Steven groaned. “There’s someone else here. There are... _four_ minds in this body now.”

“ _Four?_ D-did you create another-”

“No. This is not my doing.” Pink Steven interjected. With a huff, he slowly floated into the air, hovering roughly ten feet off the “ground”. “Stay here.” He demanded. “Don’t do anything wrong, or I _will_ punish you. I’m going to see what this fourth being is.”

“Wait, how can you feel it but I-” The Other Side started, but by then he was already gone, vanished in a flash of pink light, venturing off to the unknown parts of Steven’s mind. The Other Side shook its head and looked back down at the frozen Steven, preparing some memories that wouldn’t fully allay suspicion, but do the job. 

At least...temporarily.

***

“Wait...no,” Steven said, correcting himself after the sudden influx of memories he just got. “Bismuth called a bunch _more_ Bismuths from Homeworld. They all helped out and got it done in only a few weeks.” He narrowed his eyes. “Right? Something like that?”

Nobody answered his question, but it was good enough for Steven. Although he wasn’t completely convinced, the explanation that had come to mind made just enough sense that he didn’t bother questioning it further. For now, he shook his head and moved forward, looking up in awe at the rest of the room, whose ceilings were directly under the floor of level six, to the point where they might have been only an inch thick. And surrounding him were, of course, the boilers themselves, giant metal monstrosities that were each the size of the entire Beach house, emitting constant heatwaves, flowing from the fires within. The machines resembled a huge metal insect, with six legs coming out of each side and anchoring them to the ground. This wasn’t really required, considering the amount of strength one would need to move them even the smallest bit, but Bismuth believed in taking no chances. Also because she said it was cool-looking.

There were ten of them. There were ten in total, a pathway filled with thick sand in the middle of them. The boilers were powered by a form of clean energy that Peridot had provided (much like a good deal of things in the shelter), allowing them to effectively run forever. Steven knew that these things not only generated heat for the bunker but also for Little Homeworld, and that Mayor Nanafua was trying to get them to connect to all of Beach City as well. Being the first town in the entire world powered by a form of clean and perpetual energy would be quite the privilege, and would do wonders for the economy with all the tourists it’d bring in.

Although considering the environment outside, Steven guessed that if anyone was left they wouldn’t want to have any reminders of this day for a long time. And all the constant and free heat was...definitely going to be a reminder.

He exhaled and pushed forward, banishing these thoughts like so many others. He had to focus. Since the bunker was now confirmed to be empty, there was nothing left for him here, so the only option left was to go back outside and start looking around for more people. But where? Assuming that his warp pad powers didn’t work as well, then he couldn’t get to Homeworld or any other planet for help as of the moment. And the lack of vehicles meant that other towns would take hours to get to on foot, and while he had drunk enough from a few water bottles and eaten some food a few levels up, he wasn’t sure he could make a journey like that in these conditions. Even with the suit.

Not alone at least. He needed to find _someone_. And after the car wash, Little Homeworld, and now this bunker, there was only one place left he hadn’t checked.

Jasper.

Her cave was secluded _and_ in the middle of the woods. Plus, Jasper wouldn’t run from a little fire. She’d fight it head-on, and probably try to put the flames out by punching them. Idiotic? Most certainly. But that kind of resolve to never give up or surrender was one of the reasons why she had to be there. 

And yes, she wasn’t the...friendliest person in the world, and wouldn’t be that keen on following Steven around, he was sure he could talk some sense into her, one way or another. And although it was a risky move, considering that she might just get angry and kick him into orbit the second he showed up to _talk things out_ , it was all he had at the moment. Everyone was gone, Beach city was destroyed, and Jasper was now the only person he could think of.

‘The only person I can think of…’ Steven repeated. ‘Huh. Why does this feel oddly familiar?’

‘It doesn’t.’ Another part of his mind said. ‘Just our imagination.’

‘But-’

‘IT DOESN’T!’ His brain screamed at him, sounding like he had struck a nerve.

Steven remained silent for a moment, grimacing, but decided to trust his inner voice, rude as it was. Although for some reason, _that_ felt oddly familiar as well. But he passed this off and instead moved towards the ladder that led to the surface, which was approximately 500ish feet above him. He stared up at the rungs and sighed.

‘If I find you, you better help me after all this…’

***

“Stupid kid...stupid pink kid...stupid “fourth person” that was probably just an excuse for him to leave to see how effective I am at my job…” The Other Side rambled on, wondering aloud why it even bothered with all of this. Pink Steven had left, and within five seconds everything had almost fallen apart. It could only pray that the rest of the world the pink idiot had created was convincing enough for Steven, because it had no power in that regard. If something was off and it couldn’t think of a proper explanation in time, then it would all crumble to pieces. That crack would grow to engulf everything, and then what would it be? A failure. And that pink prick would place all the blame on them, despite him not even being here to remedy the situation.

“Fourth person…” It repeated, scoffing. Yeah right. There was no fourth person. Like it had suspected, it was just a way for _Pinkie_ to see if he could be good at his job when he was absent. Pinkie had to know that the Other Side not only feared him, but loathed him. It didn’t take a genius to figure out that this mysterious visitor didn’t exist, and was just a ruse. After all, if there had _really_ been someone else here, then it’d have felt it. Its influence wasn’t as powerful as Pinkies, but it could still feel every square inch of Steven’s mind, knowing what was where and _who_ was where. It frankly should have called him out for it before he left, but if there was _any_ plus to this whole situation, it was that it was alone now. Being tested, sure, but alone. 

“Thinks he can outsmart me…” The Other Side grumbled. “Oooh, I created you. I’m your master. I’m big and scary.” It mocked. “Can you hear that Pinkie? I know the truth. You use fear to get me to do what I want, but you can’t hide the fact that underneath it, you’re just a big psycho. Wanting to draw-and-quarter anyone who would dare to harm Steven. Hell, I’m sure if Connie accidentally gave him a small cut, you’d throw her off a cliff if the chance arose like the freak you are! You’re not a protector! You’re a bodyguard who slaughters all the other bodyguards! Is that why you made me? To remind you of this? To tell you _not_ to kill people? Because if so, then I quit! Go crazy! See if I care! Then when we’re finished, maybe we can do _ourselves_ in and complete this cycle of insanity!”

“...”

“...”

There was no response, and the Other Side groaned. It wasn’t expecting one after a rant like that, and was sure that Pinkie hadn’t even heard any of it, but it still felt good to say. Because it was all true. Pink Steven _was_ a psychopath. All that crap he was saying to Steven earlier was the truth. About how he wanted to kill and shatter everyone for what they did. He was so damn anxious about threats that he’d probably kill all life in the universe if it meant keeping Steven safe. And that wasn’t an exaggeration. The Other Side had seen him fantasizing about him. It could always tell. Anytime it happened, Pinkie always had this _look_ in his eyes. Not an “I must destroy all life because I’m evil” look, but “I must destroy all life because it’s what needs to happen”. And frankly, the latter was more terrifying than the former, and at least in its opinion.

It could see it now: The Earth on fire just like in this illusion, everyone dead, their Gems shattered with no other trace left behind of their existence. The entire universe was burning, and standing on top of it all was Steven, under control by Pinkie, while his human half futilely begged for him to stop, and all Pink Steven did in response was whisper “no”.

“Sounds like fun.” The Other Side said. “But if that’s the way things are gonna go, and there’s no way I can stop it, then I better get to participate in some of it at least. Like destroying all traces of Pink Diamonds memories. I call dibs on-”

“What are you yammering on about?” Pink Steven suddenly said, and the Other Side nearly jumped out of their skin as they looked in front of them and saw Pinkie, recently returned from...wherever. And he did _not_ look pleased.

“Um...things.” The Other Side stuttered.

“Things.” Pink Steven repeated dryly. “Care to elaborate?”

“Would you be surprised if I said yes?” 

“Yes.”

“Then no.”

“Fine.”

And that was that. 

The two of them went back to looking down at Steven. The Other Side didn’t ask where Pinkie had gone, and he didn’t answer. However, it did notice something odd. For a second, it thought it could see a flash of purple in his eyes, but it passed it off as a trick of the light.

And later on, it failed to realize too late that the _only_ light ever being emitted from him was supposed to be pink.

***

“Come on...just a few hundred more rungs. You’re halfway there already Steven. You’re halfway there…”

Steven sighed, panted heavily, and for the tenth time in five minutes, he wished that Peridot’s suit had a built-in water supply. And that the lies he told himself could become a reality. Because climbing to the surface was not as easy as initially surmised. But again, with the first stairwell collapsed, this was the only way out. 

Although this was also a lie, because he could have just gone back to an earlier ladder, one much shorter, but by the time he remembered they existed, he had already made too much progress, and he didn’t want to turn back now. So he kept pushing, one rung at a time, just like with the first couple of stairs, only this time his slowness was out of exhaustion rather than fear.

‘You know, maybe I should use this time more productively than internally complaining about a situation I really can’t do anything to avoid.’ He thought. ‘Like thinking about what I’m going to say to Jasper. Assuming she’s there, she won’t recognize me because of the suit, and the odds are that she’ll try and crush my head or something because she’ll think I’m just a regular human. So the _second_ I see her, I gotta say something only me and her would know. Because if I yell out “I’m Steven Universe", then she’s going to want proof via my powers, and since I don’t have my powers _and_ can’t take off my mask in the cave area considering how many dead trees are around that would cause me to die of smoke inhalation without seconds…’ Despite not actually speaking, Steven paused for a moment to catch his breath. ‘...telling her a secret is my best option if I hope to survive. Now I just have to figure out what…’

Steven frowned and searched his mind for an answer, and a moment later it came in a flash. ‘I’m not here for another lesson. Bingo.’ He thought. ‘The first time we fought, she called it a lesson. That’ll definitely catch her attention and prove it’s me without having to show my face or my powers. Hopefully, she just gives me enough time to shout it…’

He then looked down the ladder and realized that he could no longer see the bottom. Steven gulped upon realizing just how high up he was, and gripped the rungs a little more tightly. A fall from this height would likely be fatal, and to die from fall damage after everything he went through would be an embarrassment. He took a few more deep breaths and continued climbing, planning everything out along the way.

‘Of course, the real problem is convincing her to come with me.’ He thought. ‘If Jasper is still at her cave, I don’t think she’ll be very happy for me to show up and say “hey, I need a travel buddy! Can you please come with me?” Then she’d kick me into orbit for _real_.’ He huffed. ‘Think. What can I say to her to make her accompany me? Don’t follow and you won’t get any more fighting sessions with me? Pft. Considering the conditions outside, I don’t think I’m going to do that anyway, and she knows it. Don’t follow and I’ll tell the Diamonds that you beat me up?’ He smiled slightly at the idea of Jasper being scolded by the beings she worshiped before returning to the frown that had been his signature expression for the last couple of months. ‘Nope. I’m not sure whether she cares about what the Diamonds think about her anymore. She’s basically a nomad now, and she hasn’t told me anything about the Diamonds since I never brought them up, but…I think it’s safe to assume she doesn’t respect them anymore since they turned to my side and dismantled the empire and stuff.’

He grumbled and felt an urge to punch the rung his hands were currently on, only to relax himself a moment later. ‘Calm down.’ He repeated, disturbed by how much his usually dormant temper was getting to him. ‘Just like earlier. Deep breaths. Push it all away. Focus on one thing at a time. You’ll get through this. You’ll find Jasper. You’ll find someone to help you.’

However, Steven was so busy doing therapeutic exercises that he forgot his hand movements were on autopilot, and completely forgot that he was still going upwards. Which made it quite a shock when he suddenly rammed his head into the hatch and the top of the ladder, causing him to howl in pain and almost let go of the rungs.

“AHH! Steady! Steady!” He said frantically, hanging one to them for dear life. “Steady…” A second later, he regained his balance and was left trembling under the hatch, wondering why Bismuth had designed this the way she did. With a gulp, he let go of the ladder and then grabbed the valve to open the hatch as fast as he could, before twisting it like the others. A minute later the hatch popped up and a huge gust of hot air blew in, followed by embers and a rainfall of ash. Steven almost lost his grip and grabbed for the ladder again, letting the air flow by him.

‘Back outside.’ He thought sadly. ‘Back to that hellscape. I don’t know why, but…’ He peeked over the top and saw he was right next to the path that conveniently led out of Little Homeworld and into the woods. The trees were all gone or on fire, and all the buildings were still burning as well. ‘...I was kinda hoping things would be different. That it was all some kind of illusion.’

Steven then sighed and climbed out, getting to his feet and grimacing as he feet the burnt grass through the suit. It crunched under his feet, and looked like thousands of tiny black and orange spiders surrounding him. If it had been anywhere else, Steven might have thought it was cool.

Might.

He then gazed outward into the forest, the next step in his journey. For a moment, he thought about going back to Little Homeworld and checking again to see if anyone was there. He hadn’t been through all the buildings after all. Just most of them. But reason and the events that preceded this told him that there was no one there, and if they were, they were definitely dead. So instead he fought back a few years and marched forward like always, into the forest. It was all so burned that he didn’t even need a path. There were hardly any trees blocking his path because they had all been rescued to little more than piles of bark-shaped charcoal on the ground, making it dark as night, with the small pieces of fresh white ash falling through the air looking like clusters of stars. But Steven was still careful to watch his step, and he tried to stay in what _was_ the path. “Hardly” didn’t mean every tree had fallen after all. He could still see one or two every minute or so, burning away like a giant torch. Steven made sure to give them a wide berth, not wanting any to suddenly collapse and fall on top of him. Another thing he noticed was that there were no animals around either, not a single squirrel, bird, or even an insect. Obviously, this was to be expected, but it still broke his heart, as Steven knew that the odds were they didn’t make it out like everyone else, but were simply burned to death, unable to escape whatever had befallen the forest.

_But_ on the bright side...the gas mask and suit worked wonderfully. Steven couldn’t feel any heat from the fires around him, and the air was safe enough that he didn’t double over from coughing at every other breath. He silently thanked Peridot for the tenth time for creating such effective suits, because he was sure that he wouldn’t have made it more than ten feet into the forest had he not been wearing one. Beach City and Little Homeworld were one thing to endure, but being stuck around hundreds if not thousands of burning trees, with so much smoke that it made his eyes water just thinking about it...impossible. 

And after a half-hour of what felt like walking in circles, Steven finally came to a clearing. Jasper’s territory. He got a sudden sense of deja-vu, recalling all the times he had walked up here and fought her. And now...he was asking her for help and for her to be his _travel buddy_. A small part of him asked why he hadn’t just decided to travel alone again now that he had the suit, but Steven made sure to remind himself that there was no way in heck he was walking to another town by himself, and that the idea of someone to talk to, even if it was Jasper, was the only thing keeping him sane at the moment. The hybrid was honestly surprised by how lackluster his reaction had been to all of this, as Steven believed that he should have gone insane somewhere between levels four and five. But no matter what he saw, his brain refused to acknowledge any of it as something that couldn’t be ignored for the sake of making progress, and so that’s what he did.

It was an anomaly that he couldn’t understand, and one that Steven hoped he wouldn’t. Best case, he had gone into shock and had remained that way ever since. Worst case, he was secretly an evil psychopath deep down and _wanted_ all this to happen.

So yeah. A mystery that he’d gladly never solve. 

He gulped again and stepped forward, the burnt and dry twists snapping under his feet. They were all still on fire, unlike the path which had mostly been composed of rocks. Oddly enough, he had noticed that those hadn’t caught fire like the asphalt from earlier, but something told Steven that it was because the asphalt was man-made and not natural, possibly hinting to something in the material being the cause of their sudden flammability.

He silently added that one to the “mental list of things I don’t have the resolve to care about right now, considering,” and ignored the flames nipping at his ankles, desperately trying to get into his suit and find something new to burn. Steven was almost impressed by his restraint: He knew that the suits were flameproof, but the fact that he was able to just walk through the fire like this and not even-

‘No.’ His brain said.

‘Huh?’

‘Uh, I mean...it’s because of our subconscious.’ His brain stuttered, sounding very much like a different person for a few moments. ‘We’re fine because of all the traumatizing things we just witnessed. The staircase lapped us of all our fear to the point where we’re not afraid of something menial like a little fire anymore.’

Steven paused. ‘That doesn’t make any sen-’

‘It makes perfect sense!’ His brain said slyly. ‘How much do you- _we_ know about how the brain works?’

‘...Less than I should.’ Steven admitted.

‘Exactly! But I do, since I’m your brain, and I know all about brains! I know how they work! I know how ours works!’ It said quickly. ‘I know what state it’s in right now! And let me tell us, ouch. But the upside is that we’ve pushed yourself so much in the last few hours that we’re not affected by a little fire. It would take a nuclear bomb exploding in the distance to make us afraid!’

‘I suppose...that actually makes a little sense. But...hey, no it doesn’t! If you’re my brain or inner voice or whatever, your knowledge should only extend to what I know! You shouldn’t know anything that I’m not aware of! What kind of logic is that?’

“...”

“Hello?”

“...”

There was no answer. Steven was about to call out again, before he realized that he was talking to himself like a crazy person, and that his inner voice was just a figment of his imagination. The hybrid went silently for a moment, wondering how things had gotten this bad.

‘Great. Just great.’ He thought. ‘Talking to myself in the middle of a burned forest, not being afraid of fire or anything else that’d make me shrivel and cry for whatever reason, and off to go find my _sparring partner_ and former attempted murderer so I can have someone to talk to.’

…

…

…

‘Is it too much to ask that things just go back to normal?’ He requested, not sure who the question was being directed at. 

Apparently it was, because a second later, his answer came in the form of a giant tree crashing to the ground behind him, sending bits of flaming bark and ash everywhere. Steven’s instincts took over and he quickly ran further into the clearing away from the “forest”, wincing upon realizing just how close that had been to hitting him. The fallen tree set off a chain reaction of new flames sparking up, almost like some kind of miniature carpet-bombing. Steven puffed and turned away back to Jasper’s cave, which was hardly visible despite being only a hundred feet away. He moved towards it, silently going through and preparing in his head what he was going to say to Jasper. Unfortunately, by the time he made it over he hadn’t thought of a good opening line, so all he could do now was wing it.

Assuming she was there of course. But if she wasn’t, then the cave would provide a nice temporary resting spot. Something that Steven greatly desired and regretted _not_ fully taking advantage of back at the shelter.

“Uh, Jasper?” He called out, stepping onto the shockingly cold stone surrounding the cave as his voice remained muffled by the suit. “Are you here? It’s me, Steven! I need your help!”

There was no reply. Steven was about to call out again before he heard a faint sniffing sound coming from the cave. Raising an eyebrow, he approached it gingerly, where the sniffing escalated into sobbing. Steven arched an eyebrow and stopped where he was, because Jasper was _not_ the type of person to start crying over something, even...all of this. He wondered if there was some part of her that he never knew about, an actual compassionate and empathetic part, or if that wasn’t Jasper at all and just someone else entirely.

Only one way to find out…

“Oh, please let this be the right decision.” He whispered/pleaded. Steven resumed his stroll up to the cave and made it to the opening, and in the firelight he could see Jasper, her face buried in her hands, tears falling from them and landing on the ground below. Judging from the small puddle surrounding her, this had been going on for a while, and all Steven could think about was why she was crying over the destruction of nature. 

“Jasper…?” He said, reaching a hand out to her. “Are you okay? It’s me...Steven.”

The second Steven’s name left his mouth, the Quartz’s crying abruptly stopped, and she let go of her face and slowly turned towards him, sniffling like a child.

“Steven…” She said, in the saddest and most pathetic tone he had ever heard her use. Steven was almost shocked to silent by how heart-broken she sounded, as if someone had just killed Pink Diamond right in front of her. This wasn’t just confusing. This was... _demeaning_ of her. Jasper would _never_ let anyone see her in a state like this, so the fact that she seemed to be reaching out for help towards Steven was something that he didn’t know how to respond to properly. So that only left questions.

“Jasper…” He repeated, stopping where he was. “Wha-what happened to you? What’s going on? Are you okay?”

Jasper shook her head frantically and looked away. “They...they _made_ me do it.” She said softly, her voice trembling. “They made me do it...to _all_ of them.”

“They? Who is they?” Steven asked, but Jasper didn’t respond, only curling up into a ball and letting out another pitiful wail. Steven bit his lip at the sight, wondering how the hell she could be in a worse condition than him. And what she said...they made me do it? Did _Jasper_ cause all this destruction? And if so, did someone really force her to? How? Even she wouldn’t be able to destroy all of Beach City and Little Homeworld by herself, and even if she did, she’d be laughing about it later, not crying guiltily. 

Someone was wrong here.

And unlike all the other mysteries, Steven couldn’t just pack this one away for later.

***

“I can’t believe it...things are going _very_ swimmingly…” The Other Side said joyfully. “Great idea getting Jasper to cry about this. When she takes him to that mountain and reveals what she did, or rather, what-”

“Stop it.” Pink Steven said.

“Stop...what?”

“Stop enjoying this. You’re bouncing up and down like an excited child at the sight of Steven suffering. That’s not the point. The point is to make him feel better in the end. The point is to make sure that he doesn’t give in to you, because this is what happens.”

“...Oh. Sorry.” The Other Side whispered. “But I’m not happy that he’s suffering. I’m happy that things are going just as planned! You know, I think-”

“We are _not_ at the point of having small talk again.” Pink Steven growled. “If you want to remain an acquaintance, then do what you’re told like I said.”

“...Just trying to lighten the mood.”

“There’s already enough light down there. If you want light, I can make a few more fires.”

“...You didn’t understand what I just said, did you?” The Other Side asked. “Okay. If we remain “acquaintances” after this, then the first thing I’m doing is improving your vocabulary. As well as your understanding of common sayings and metaphors and similes and all that.”

“I know more about those things than you currently do.” Pink Steven said bluntly. “But I am still not in the mood for your shenanigans.”

“Are you ever?”

“No.”

“Fine.” The Other Side said. “But in the end, promise me this one thing. Take care of Steven. Because if you’re going to kill me when this is all over, then I want a promise that you’ll take good care of him.”

“...”

“...”

“...Can you promise me that?”

“That’s exactly what he said…” Pink Steven whispered.

“What?”

Pink Steven took a deep breath and gazed at the Other Side like he was staring into their soul, and for a second they didn’t know if he was going to attack them or try to hug them.

“I’m so stupid.” He said.

“You...you’re _what?”_ The Other Side gasped, having never heard Pinkie insult himself like that. That sort of thing was usually only reserved to the Diamonds and Spinel, and he had a habit of using much more colorful language. “Did you just say you’re _stupid?_ Are you actually referring to me here in some weird way, or is this-”

“We forgot a few things.” Pink Steven interjected. “Tell me, Other Side. What caused us to get into this situation in the first place? What freaked Steven out to the point where Bismuth had to knock him unconscious and we started sucking the air away from...the air?”

“Uh...I did. On _your_ orders. Did you forget that, or-”

“Yes...on _my_ orders.” Pink Steven hissed, his voice suddenly sounding like one a snake could have if it gained the ability to talk. “But we forgot something, didn’t we? Why did Steven _really_ freak out? What led up to you manipulating him?”

“...He was worried about what his family would think of him.”

“And why were they interrogating him?”

“Because he fought Jasper with Connie.” The Other Side replied, before sighing. “Look, is this going somewhere? Because I’m not sure I understand-”

“Don’t worry. All will be revealed soon.” Pink Steven said, and for a second his eyes flashed a bright purple again. “Now, _why_ did Steven fight Jasper? What was the point of that?”

“...He wanted to figure out information about the Traitor.”

“Yes.” Pink Steven said. “Because of the Traitor. The thing we forgot about. The thing _everyone_ forgot about. I feel like it’s been weeks since the whole reason behind Steven’s little investigation has been relevant, don’t you?”

“I...I’m not sure.” The Other Side mumbled. “Maybe? I mean, it did take a lot of time and planning in here, but I don’t think it’s been _weeks-”_

“It was a figure of speech.” Pink Steven said. “But it has _felt_ like weeks. We’ve forgotten all about them.”

“Yeah, but for a good reason!” The Other Side exclaimed. “They’re not...important anymore. They don’t matter. The whole investigation was the groundwork for this plan. Once we saw that journal, you and I spent a few days _in here_ planning out how we could use this to our advantage, and eventually we convinced Steven to go to Pearl, fight Jasper, freak out, all that! But that’s the end of it. We don’t need the Traitor anymore. And once we get Steven under control, we don't need that journal. We can give it to Connie, and we can forget it ever happened. The freaking end. Did you...forget your own plan or something?”

“...”

The Other Side sighed again. “Now, I don’t know why you’re acting this way, you already know all that, but-”

“Not important…” Pink Steven echoed. “Is that it? Is that really…?” He huffed. “Six thousand years. Six thousand years of traveling across the universe. Raiding planets, picking up new Gems, shattering anyone who got in my way...and this, this little moment right here, I think it is the first time anyone has ever called my counterpart “not important”.

“What the hell are you on abo-” The Other Side started to say, before something that Pinkie just said cake back to him. “Wait. Called _my counterpart_ not important? What are you-”

“He was so stupid.” Pink Steven said, and he turned towards the Other Side, now glowing a brilliant purple instead of pink. “When he first saw me, he thought he could take me. He thought he could force me out of this mind. And when that didn’t work, when he realized that I was _better_...he bargained. He pleaded. On his knees like a coward. You can’t even imagine how satisfying that was to see. One of the most powerful beings in the universe...kneeling before me, begging for mercy.”

The now Purple Steven took a step towards the Other Side, causing it to stumble backwards away from him. A terrible thought process was moving through their mind, informing them of what was _really_ going on, but they couldn’t believe it. Didn’t _want_ to. Instead, they backed away further, too terrified to run or try any other method of escape.

“I thought about it.” Purple Steven continued. “I thought about letting him go. I thought about letting Steven go. But in the end, I chose otherwise. I can’t have you people running around, ruining things for me. Now, you see, I’m going to send those two fools to take this little hybrid out like the rest...but personally, I don’t think they could take him if he went pink. He’d probably break right out of that tractor beam!” He said joyfully/manically. “I’ll inform them later perhaps. After they finish taking everyone else out. Of course, they could just die by Jasper’s hand, but if that happens…” Purple Steven shrugged. “...then I’ll just take control of this body and kill them and then myself. People will just think Universe lost his mind, and I’ll rejoice and revel in the aftermath.”

“W-who are you?” The Other Side asked, almost too terrified to speak. “What are you talking about? What do you mean by “I sent those two to take this little hybrid out”?”

“Yeesh. So many questions. I can see why _Pinkie_ doesn’t like having you around.” Purple Steven scoffed. “ _Opal_ was less annoying than you, and that’s saying something. But I digress. You won’t know who that is anyway. As for right now, I have a job to do.”

Purple Steven turned away from the Other Side and peered down into the void at Steven, and chucked upon seeing the burning landscape and the sobbing Jasper, both of these things amusing him like some kind of sick joke.

“You’re them, aren’t you?” The Other Side queried, finally working it through their head. “You’re the Traitor.”

“Not quite…” Purple Steven whispered, amused. “But you’re on the right track. I’m merely a...reflection. Or maybe something else. A mirror image? A darker one?” He put his hand to his chin and pondered over it for a moment. “Yeah...let’s go with that. You can call me “Mirror”. It’s a lot quicker than just saying “The Traitor” each time, as well as more factually correct.”

The Other Side tilted it’s head, pretending to be confused by this statement while at the same time frantically thinking for a way out. “W-why is any of that-”

“Important?” Mirror interjected. “Because I want to make things easier for you... _you.”_ He said. “I have no animosity towards you like I did towards Pinkie. After all, you’re just doing your job. I saw how he treated you earlier. You were just trying to have fun, and he blew up at you. For all his seriousness, he couldn’t hide the fact that he was an angry, roiling mess underneath.”

“I mean…” The Other Side gulped. “I hate him for doing it, but I understand in a way. What we were doing...it was extremely important to Steven’s well being and...and…” It noticed Mirror’s bored expression and looked away. “You don’t care.”

“Not particularly, but I didn’t mind listening to your grievances,” Mirror said. “But I like that. You were trying to lighten the mood, despite how bad your situation was. Granted, if one of my underlings did such a thing, they’d share the same fate as that...mess below deck.” They grinned. “But not you. You were born into a life you never wanted, forced into a job that you hate under threat of death. Pinkie treated you like a slave, not caring in the slightest that you’re still an actual sentient being, with your own thoughts and feelings. But he thought of you as nothing but a trained dog to do his bidding. Even _I_ respect my crew somewhat. I may be harsh on them, but I’m fair. _He_ was not.”

‘What are you playing at you bastard…’ The Other Side thought, calm on the inside while maintaining a mask of extreme nervousness on the outside. ‘Just a second ago they were babbling about how I’m more annoying than whoever this Opal character is, and five seconds later they’re showing sympathy for me! It has to be some kind of trick...a last-minute change of mind perhaps?’

“I-I remember.” The Other Side said. “But why are you being so nice to me? Do you _actually_ feel sorry for me because of what Pink Steven did?”

“Pinkie.” Mirror corrected. “Isn’t that what you called him? I’m personally pretty fond of that sort of nickname, particularly among others of his kind. I kinda color-code them all with the names.”

“ _His_ kind?”

“The Gem halves.” Mirror iterated. “Of all the half-Gem hybrids out there.”

The Other side gasped, genuine surprise sparking up in both their internal _and_ external sides. “Wait. Are _you_ a-”

“No. No, I am not a hybrid.” Mirror said. “But I have met quite a few. None of them are on the power level of Steven, but they _all_ have a better grasp at one power that he doesn’t. _Age fluctuation_.” They revealed, leaning forward with both their hands behind their back. “They’re all out there you see, in the universe, living immortal lives on some distant planet. Every time I come across one, I ask if they want to come aboard. They always say no. The same story, half a dozen times. I’ve always wondered why they refuse. Do they just want to be left alone? Don’t like the responsibility? Or maybe-”

“I’m sorry…” The Other Side interjected. “But where do these Gem hybrids come from? How many humans had children with these-”

“I didn’t say they all had children with _humans.”_ Mirror sighed. “Just that they were Gem hybrids.”

“What? But that means...oh.” The Other Side realized. “Gross.”

“No grosser than having a child with someone like Greg,” Mirror said, rolling their eyes. “But before you ask how I know about it, I’ll simply say that I’ve been keeping an eye on all of you for a while. I’m not the kind of person who “knows Universe better than he knows himself”, but I’m aware enough to have a pretty good idea of what’s been going on in my absence.”

The Other Side frowned, not even bothering to show any signs of outward fear anymore. At this point, it was just wondering why any of this was important. It was interesting to know that Gems had children with some other species, but honestly, The Traitor or Mirror or whoever telling them that _now_ didn’t make sense. Were they just screwing around, or actually trying to make a point?

“I don’t understand.” They said. “Why does this matter to what’s going on now?”

“Because you asked about what I meant by “his kind” and that sent us down a rabbit hole,” Mirror said casually. “But if you want to get back to the main topic at hand, just ask.”

“Then...can we get back to the main topic at hand?”

“Sure,” Mirror said joyfully, and for a moment the Other Side forgot that this was the same person who they had thought was going to murder them no more than three minutes ago. “So, as we were talking about Pinkie, I suppose I should tell you that we don’t have to worry about him anymore.”

“You...you _killed_ him?”

“Nnnnnno. Just...sent him into time-out for a while.” Mirror said. “He needs to learn some manners on how to deal with people. Wanting to kill them all just for accidentally doing something small to Steven...dude’s got issues.”

“No kidding.” The Other Side agreed, not sure if they should be overjoyed or worried that this person had sent _Steven’s Gem half_ away like he was nothing. If they took care of him that easily, then _they_ wouldn’t stand a chance if things went south…

“Yes. But he’ll be fine.” Mirror revealed. “At least for now. I can’t guarantee his safety when Steven eventually kicks the bucket, but maybe I can take his Gem out beforehand. Hm.” They put a hand to their chin. “I wonder if he’d survive. Is he able to do that, or is it a two-way thing with his human half, where he’ll die if he stays disconnected for too long? How exactly does that work?”

“I...um, don’t know.” The Other Side said, honestly wondering why it hadn’t thought about that before but still more concerned with “when Steven kicks the bucket”. “But what did you mean? What are you planning to do with Steven-”

“Just having a little fun,” Mirror said. “You see, I’ve been waiting for a moment like this. Six thousand years. It’s been six thousand years on this planet since someone’s learned that I existed or that I was even mentioned. And while I told old green eyes that I hate it when this happens...I actually _wanted_ it to. Because I’m bored, sitting in that chair all day long. I want the chance to do something. But I can’t just enter a person's mind like this for no reason. I’d be breaking the rules.”

“The _rules?_ What rules?”

Mirror smiled. “The oldest rules. Or, at least, one of the oldest. Let’s just say that I’d rather not have to deal with _her_. Because if I just waltz in and enter Steven’s mind for the heck of it...things might end poorly.”

“And “having a little fun” is a good enough reason?” The Other Side asked incredulously.

“Technically, it’s more than that. I just gave you the abridged version. Of the cliff notes.” Mirror said. “I don’t want you knowing _too_ much. Not unless I know you’re on my side.”

A scoff rang out. “Why would I _ever_ be on your side? I’ve been interested in a few things you’ve been saying, but even if you kill me, _and_ even if I hated Pink Steven, I’m not going to betray this Gem. I still have a job to do, and-”

“That’s not true and you know it,” Mirror said, rolling their eyes. “You’ve been looking for a way out. I can hear it in the way you talk. Even that lie you told just now, you don’t believe a single word of it. You only said that because you’re afraid Pinkie’s going to come back and punish you if you said otherwise. Granted, an understandable fear, but trust me, he can’t hear, see us, or do anything like that. He’s stuck right now, and...if you keep telling lies, you will be too.”

“...Then what do you want from me?” The Other Side queried. “Why am I so important?”

“Oh…” Mirror said, walking over to them. “You and I can do great things together. I need a powerful ally right now. One with _real_ influence. One that can do things no one else can. One that…” They clicked their tongue. “...understands.”

“Understands?”

“Yes.” Mirror grinned widely. “The things I told you...it’s only a fraction of what I know. If you join me...if you do what I say...you can learn more. Much, much more.”

“You’re tempting me with knowledge? That’s...never really been my area of interest.” The Other Side stated.

“No, you want power. You want _out.”_ Mirror repeated confidently. “And the knowledge I have can enable you to do both of those things. You can have all the power you ever wanted. You can get out of this mind. No more being forced into the backseat. No more orders, except from yours truly. No more being stuck in here!” They threw their arms into the air. “And this...is the final part of my deal. You can leave the mindscape. And I can help you take over Steven. His body, his powers, his _life_...will be yours. Pink Steven will be finished when I’m done with him. There will be no one to stop you.”

“...”

“...sounds pretty good, eh?”

“I...I don’t...but...” The Other Side said softly. “What about the original Steven’s consciousness?”

“Oh, that? Well, his soul will just go to the place appointed for him.”

It took the Other Side a moment to figure out what Mirror meant, but after they did, they gaped at him in shock, and almost lost their cool right then and there. 

“You’re going to _murder_ him?!”

“Actually, you’re going to be the one doing that. I’m just going to tell you how.” Mirror pointed out. “And I’m not sure why this is a surprise. Based on what I’ve said, I thought you'd have figured out that I want Steven dead. And even if I didn’t, you’d still have to kill him anyways. There’s no place for him here. He still has a human mind, unlike you and Pink. He’ll go insane from loneliness and boredom after...maybe a few years? Yeah, that sounds about right.”

The Other Side pouted and stomped their foot on the ground like a child throwing a fit. “We don’t have to do that!” They said. “Me and Pink can just make a world for him to live in, like a utopia where everything goes right!”

Mirror sighed. “Utopia…” They muttered. “Okay, this next question is going to be weird, and feel totally out of place, but just bear with me for a moment. Have you ever seen _The Matrix?”_

“Have...have I ever seen _what?”_

“Old Earth movie. Well, not that old, but whatever.” Mirror said. “Basically, humans are enslaved and their bodies provide energy from machines, while their minds go into this imaginary world, and they have no idea that it’s imaginary. They live out their lives there, oblivious to the horrible truth.”

The Other Side looked from side to side for a camera, wondering if they had won some weird version of television and if this was all just a big joke. “Are you joking? Is this all some big prank?” They said. “Out of everything you’ve said, _this_ one has to be the least relevant, and that’s honestly saying something-”

“But what most people don’t remember...” Mirror continued, not paying that any mind. “Is that _that_ version of that imaginary world is the third variation. The first...was a utopia. Happiness. Endless bliss. Everything was going right, and everyone got what they wanted.”

“When did you even get the time and opportunity to watch-”

“But it failed. Want to know why?”

“...”

“...”

“No?”

“Too bad,” Mirror said, now slightly irked that the Other Side still wasn’t getting it. “It failed because people rejected it. It failed because people thought it was too good to be true. It failed because everyone knows that deep down, things going right for their entire lives isn’t something that happens. People die in real life. Suffering happens in real life. Everything sucks in real life!”

“...And…?”

Mirror sighed. “What I’m trying to say is that you can’t make any fake world for Steven and maintain it for long. Make it perfect, he’ll notice. Make it too horrible, he’ll notice. Even if you make it just right, you’re bound to slip up eventually. You’ll never achieve a perfect world. Those stupid robots in that movie didn’t. That’s why they had to reset it like six times. Because nothing like that can _last forever.”_

‘This...is easily the weirdest conversation I have ever been a part of in my five months of existing.’ The Other Side thought, making Mirror laugh.

“I can believe that.” He said. “I don’t think Pinkie would be one for weird or wild conversations.” 

“Hold on, did you just read my mind?”

“We’re inside a mind, idiot. We’re in the mindscape. Your thoughts are free to read to anyone that knows how to.”

“Wait, so you’ve been hearing all of my private thoughts ever since I came here?” The Other Side asked nervously. “But then that would mean-”

“Yes, it means you can't keep anything from me,” Mirror confirmed. “And by the way, I don’t like being called a “bastard”. You can call me the fake Traitor, or Purple Steven, or Mirror, but please don’t insult me. We may be talking like gentlemen, but don’t forget whose finger is on the trigger here.”

“What trigger-”

“It was a figure of speech.” Mirror sighed. “But you get the idea. Now, like I was saying, you can’t create a fake world for him. You can’t keep him in here. If my plans are going to go as...planned, then Steven’s consciousness is going to die, and you can choose whether you want to be a part of it or not. This is your best offer. You take over Steven, you work for me. You refuse and try to fight, I kill you and chain his body to the front of my ship like a figurehead.”

“...”

“So what’s it gonna be?” Mirror asked. “Please hurry. I can tell you so much more, like I said earlier. But I don’t want to have to spend any more time here than what’s necessary, so please, for both our sakes, make your decision.”

“I...I need some time to think about this.” The Other Side said. “It’s hard.”

“Hm...fine.” Mirror consented. “But no more than ten minutes. And don’t try to pull anything, because your thoughts are still audible to me. If you try and plot against me, I’ll know.”

“I know that as well, you don’t have to remind me.” The Other Side grumbled, getting annoyed with all the frivolous repeating of things.

“If you so wish. But now, you do that. I’m going to have a look down here…” They turned back to Steven, still standing with Jasper. “...and maybe change a few things up.”

“It’s time _I_ get to play god with Pink Diamond.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, the new player enters the scene, and they have a lot of confusing things to say that will be explained in the next chapter. The next one will shift away from this scene and to an entirely new area, but only for a single chapter. A few characters from the Future will appear, as well as one from the original series that I feel was underused. All antagonists, of course. And I hope it will be an interesting introduction to the person that will eventually become this fic's main "antagonist."


	16. Infraction

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter may be slightly confusing and out-of-nowhere, but it is still integral to the plot. It will explain some things that were mentioned in the last chapter as well as set up several important events in the future. Just a pre-note in case anyone gets confused.

A hundred billion light-years away, orbiting an enormous strange star the size of ten suns, there lies a single ship. 

And this ship has a single name: _The Betrayal_. It’s creator thought it was poetic, considering their history. It is one of the most advanced ships ever to be thought of, equipped with shielding that makes its surface the same color and tone as deep space, with fake stars printed on its surface for extra insurance. This, combined with the power source that gives off no energy signatures, along with the device that blocks all heat signatures and any other detection techniques, making it virtually invisible to all.

There is a crew of course, as all good ships have. Two dozen Gems, composed of an Opal, a Pearl, several Quartzes, a Sapphire, an Agate, a Lapis Lazuli, and recently a few _new_ additions. A Ruby, an Aquamarine, and an Emerald. All of them lost. All of them looking for purpose. And all of them hateful. They are the outcasts. The forgotten. The ones who should have never been. Their mere existence is usually spoken in whispers, and there are those...who believe that they do not even exist.

But they are very much real. _The Betrayal_ is real. It’s engines feed off the quark matter emitted by the star, through a process not even the Captain of the vessel understands. But they were gifted the engine by two Peridots, loyal members of their crew, and so they ripped the old shiny and ageless engine out with their bare hands and threw it into the void of space, favoring quality over appearance. The old engine may have sparkled and looked like a beautiful night sky, but there was no room for importance based on _looks_ on _The Betrayal_. If something worked, it was satisfactory. If something worked better, the old one was taken away and replaced. That was how things worked.

And to the Captain, it was how _all_ things should work.

And the Gems serving abroad are forced to adopt this mindset, lest they be punished and forced to work through...other means. This was how things went aboard the ship. Do as you were told, and one day you will get the life you always wanted. Whatever position you want. Whatever luxuries you want. Heck, even whatever _Gems_ you want to order around. All of it was promised by the Captain, and everyone believed their word.

Although fear does have a certain way of controlling people.

_The Betrayal’s_ history is an odd one. It was created by the Great Diamond Authority thousands of years ago, built to be the best stealth craft in all creation. Unfortunately, it served its purpose just a little too well, and when it was stolen from the secret ship-building yard on the planet Apollyon, no one could find it. Knowing the threat the ship could cause if more of them fell into the wrong hands, Yellow Diamond ordered for the production of all future models to be canceled, and all prototypes and extra parts atomized. After that, the builders and design staff were shattered, all files on the ships erased, and thus all traces of the ship had been effectively wiped from existence.

Except for, of course, the original. The thief flew the ship into the deepest, darkest regions of space, even behind the reach of the Diamonds. They went from planet to planet, picking up others like them. The lost and forgotten. The ones who stayed behind, on the colonies that were complete and served no purpose, thus they had been abandoned. Some could say they were saved. Some could say they were just picked up and plopped down into a brand new hell. But either way, this was their life now. Serving a master they knew nothing about, save for the fact that they were _not_ a Gem. 

And that they harbored a deep contempt for _all_ Gemkind. The crew's presence was simply tolerated, not appreciated. Their reward for serving was not being thrown into the strange star, as well as a place to live. But other than that, they worked round the clock, performing duties that half of them didn’t even understand the purpose of. It was truly...hellish.

Now, anyone in that situation would perform an uprising. And they did. A thousand years back, the crew stormed the bridge by force, and demanded that the Captain step down and leave forever, lest they be killed under crimes of unfair treatment. Not a crime punishable by death in most places, but for the crew, it was all they had, and they were most definitely going to use it.

But none of them could have expected what happened next. The Captain simply surveyed the mob, sighed, and pressed a button on the main control panel. 

And in their final moment of consciousness before two dozens bolts of bright yellow lightning flew out from the walls and poofed them, the Captain said, “next time, do better”.

It was the first word he had spoken to most of them ever since they came aboard. And it would probably be the last. For five years they were kept in bubbles, hidden away in a closet, no more important than the cleaning supplies they were placed beside. It was then that they realized just how good they had it, how lucky they were that their Captain didn’t just shatter them all instantly. Because when they were released, they expected the ship to be a mess. To be falling apart before their very eyes. After all, their Captain couldn’t perform _all_ the necessary duties, right?

Right?

But no. No, they were greeted with something much worse. The ship wasn’t in any kind of bad condition. In fact, it was in even _better_ condition than it was five years ago. And then they finally understood. They weren’t being kept around because they were needed, oh no.

They were being kept around for _entertainment_. 

The Captain didn’t require their help. Nevertheless, they liked watching their subordinates do all the work. The crew wasn’t sure _why_ exactly. Did they get a kick out of it? Maybe just enjoyed seeing Gems follow orders? Something else entirely?

Whatever the answer, the crew learned a lesson after they woke up. It was that they should be grateful. Grateful for being saved. The Captain could kill them all at any time. It was likely he had the entire ship booby-trapped just like the bridge. To serve them...was their life now. The alternative...death. 

So they served after they were released. They made no complaints, even in private. Millennia passed, and those Gems became like robots. Doing their day to day jobs, never questioning orders, hardly even moving when it was unnecessary.

And this was what was explained to the three newcomers. This is what would be expected of them. No talking out of line. No doing something that didn’t further progress the ship's progress. For the Ruby and Aquamarine, they initially refused. But after seeing the glare the first mate gave them...they found themselves begging for mercy.

One glare. That’s all it took to make them completely subordinate, and it wasn’t even from the Captain themselves.

As for Emerald, she followed orders too, although she was only _pretending_. The first mate had given her the same glare when she first arrived, and although it had intimidated her somewhat, it was still nothing compared to the stare that Yellow Diamond had once given her. She wasn’t afraid. 

So Emerald performed her duties, waiting for the proper moment to stage an uprising and become the new captain. Then Gems would fall into line. The best stealth ship in the universe would be hers. And then...and _then..._ she could finally go to Earth and her long-awaited revenge on Lars. She practically shook with excitement at times thinking of all the ways she could eliminate him. Personally, dragging him behind a spaceship going at half the speed of light was her personal favorite, but Emerald didn’t want it to end there.

She wanted to make it _hurt_.

But all this leads up to where we are now. _The Betrayal_ orbiting the strange star. The Gems performing their duties. Emerald was on the secondary bridge, mapping out the nearby solar system in preparation for a jump there in order to investigate a deserted planet. See if there were any leftover Gems. The strange star was their primary location at times, but _this_ was their mission. Locating more Gems...building a bigger crew...all for some purpose that only the Captain understood. She would have asked, but it was not her place to question their orders. At least not _yet._

Someday, she would become their first mate. 

Someday, she would be sitting in that chair.

Someday, she’d get her revenge, restore the caste system, but this time with _her_ on top.

But as Emerald began thinking about this glorious moment, she suddenly felt someone tap on her shoulder. She whipped around and saw the _current_ first mate standing behind her. An Opal, who had been thrown out of a ship three thousand years ago and left on a rogue planet. Taken in by the Captain, climbed the ranks, and won her position by _literally_ beating others to get it.

She was also easily one of the cruelest and most sadistic Gems Emerald had ever come across, and that included herself. One day of interaction was all it took for her to understand why that Opal had been left behind. She was a Gem that Emerald simply _had_ to dispose of before her planned mutiny. Because the odds were that after their Captain was dead, _she’d_ tried to take his chair, and _that_ was a fight Emerald couldn’t win.

‘Be respectful.’ She reminded herself silently, as she tried to avoid Opal’s gaze. ‘Don’t talk down to her. She’d shatter you instantly if she suspected anything. Keep it...believable.’

“Yes, Opal?” She said, putting on the most polite and courteous tone she could muster. “What do I owe the pleasure?”

“The Captain wants to see you.” Opal hissed, her voice sounding like a whispered scream. “They require your attention. Go to the bridge.”

‘The Captain wants to see me? _Personally?_ No...nonononononono!’ Emerald thought nervously, an imaginary bead of sweat dripping down her forehead. This was bad. If the Captain wanted to meet with her one on one, then the odds were they were on to her. They seldom met with Gems alone besides Opal...unless it something exceedingly important. And bad. Important and bad seemed to be the requirements, as Emerald was well aware. 

“I-I see.” She stuttered. “Well, I am almost done mapping out the system, and I shall be done in a few-”

“ _NO,”_ Opal said sternly, causing every Gem nearby to flinch. “They require your attention. _NOW.”_

“...”

“...”

“V-very well,” Emerald said, trying not to shake out of fear. “I shall finish my duties later.”

“Yes. Assuming there is a later for you.” Opal keened, switching from demanding to sadistic in an instant. She leaned in close and whispered in Emerald’s ear, each word sounding like thunder. “I’ve been waiting a long time for this day, upper-crust. Gems like you abandoned me on that miserable rock. When you get thrown out of an airlock for whatever it is you’ve done, I’m going to enjoy _every second_ of it.”

With that, she giggled and walked away, her fingertips beating against her sides. Emerald gulped and contemplated if she should just shatter herself now and get it over with. A much better after than being forced to drift in space until the heat-death of the universe. There was a small dagger stored in her Gem, which she had been planning to use for the mutiny. She could whip it out, hold it in her hands, and with one quick motion…

But she couldn’t. 

Because Opal claimed that the Captain could do anything. Even being shattered Gems back to life. And while Emerald didn’t know if that was even possible to begin with, especially for them, she had seen them do some pretty insane things since she was brought aboard. So it would be in her best interest to not risk it. After all, if she shattered herself, and the Captain brought her back, the punishment they’d duel out would be a thousand times worse than infinite drifting.

And she knew that for a fact, because occasionally she could make out the constant screams from the hold at the very bottom of the ship, just barely audible to anyone who was listening closely.

A fate that could very easily become her own…

But right now, she had been given an order. Emerald straightened herself up and got out of her chair, praying that that wasn’t the last time she ever sat down in it. She left the room and walked through the dark hallways, the only light coming from small dots that were located close to the floor. Why _The Betrayal_ has that instead of normal light was anyone’s guess, although Emerald's theory was that it was for extra stealth, even though that made absolutely no sense.

But soon, after a minute or so of brisk walking and a five-second lift ride, she arrived at the door to the bridge, which seconded as the Captain’s quarters. The door was tall and imposing, with a large pink X splayed across it. She knocked once and the door slid open a second later with a hiss, vanishing into the ceiling.

Emerald entered, and the door shut behind her without making a sound. There were three other Gems in the room beside her. Opal, who arrived before she did, as well as the Ruby and Aquamarine, the other two new editions besides her. Emerald tilted her head at their presence, unsure as to why they would be here. Unless they somehow ratter her out? No, she hadn’t told them anything! They couldn’t possibly-

“Thank you for coming,” Opal announced. “The Captain has brought the three of you here for one purpose. Emerald, please approach and join us.”

“...”

“That’s an order.”

“Y-yes. Of course.” Emerald stuttered, forcing her feet to move forward even though they felt like they weighed a few thousand pounds. In the brief moment before she walked over to the group, Emerald allowed herself to survey the room, as she had only been in here once before, and didn’t get a good look at it then.

The bridge was surprisingly simple, to say the least. It was a large, square-shaped room with smooth black floors, ceilings, and walls. Except for one wall, which was nothing but a gigantic window that took up the whole thing. Through the window she could see the strange star, an interstellar anomaly that Emerald wasn’t even aware existed until she was brought here. It was beautiful to look at...but much more horrifying to think about.

Besides that, there was an enormous chair in the middle of it all, shaped like a rectangle with a control panel in front of it, displaying what looks like dozens of screens and files all at the same time. Sitting in the chair was the Captain themselves, currently out of view.

Emerald moved forward and joined the two other Gems who looked just as nervous as she did. They were trembling slightly, although they were doing their best to hide it.

“Thank you,” Opal said graciously. “Now, as I was saying, the Captain has brought you all here for one purpose. You see, we recently received a transmission a few hundred billion light-years away. From a planet that _two_ of you are particularly experienced with.”

Opal's gaze drifted downwards to Ruby and Aquamarine, both of whom suddenly looked ten times as scared.

“Us?” Aquamarine said. “What planet, ma’am?”

“Oh, you know…” Opal said with a wink. “Blue skies...heavy in organic life...the home of someone you so greatly abhor…”

Ruby’s eyes went wide. “Earth.” She growled.

“That’s right,” Opal said. “We recently received a transmission from Earth. A very big deal you see, considering that nobody has tried to directly communicate with us for over 5000 years.”

“W-wait,” Aquamarine said. “What about us? Do we not count as-”

“ _We_ picked you up from a deserted planet that you were using as your base.” Opal reminded them. “And please mind your tone. If I say that nobody else has tried to communicate with us in the past five thousand years, then that _means_ nobody has tried to communicate with us…” She paused and leaned in close. “... _IN THE PAST FIVE THOUSAND YEARS!!!”_ She shrieked, causing Aquamarine to whimper like a scared dog. Opal then slithered back to her original position and smiled. “And no ordinary crew members are allowed to say otherwise. Clear?”

“C-cl-clear.” Aquamarine stuttered, shaking in fear.

“Ah, good. I thought there was a misunderstanding.” Opal crowed. “Now then...back to the main topic. The first transmission we have received in over five millennia. From Earth of all places. Our glorious Captain and I investigated it, and found that one of the info devices had gone off.”

Emerald raised her hand in the air like a student in a classroom.

“Yes, Emerald?”

“Permission to speak freely, ma’am.”

“Denied,” Opal said. “On the count that you have not been brought to the bridge to deal with the transmission, but something else related to Earth. Me, you, and the Captain will discuss it alone once the matter with the transmission is dealt with. Understand?”

“...Yes.”

“ _Yes?_ ” Opal seethed.

“Yes, _ma’am,”_ Emerald said, correcting herself.

“Good,” Opal said, before turning back to the two smaller Gems in front of her. “Now, before any of you ask, the info devices are objects we left on Earth thousands of years ago after the Rebellion. Trillions of microscopic machines spread across the planet, undetectable to even the most cutting-edge Gem tech. See, your Captain had rather...private origins, and they would like to keep their past unbeknownst to all. These machines were spread across the entire world, particularly in places of Gem influence that would harbor any leftover rebels left after the war. If they overhear certain...things our Captain preprogrammed into them, then they would send a signal out, warning us that someone was talking about them.”

Ruby raised her hand.

“Permission to speak freely, ma’am.”

“Granted. What is it?”

“Ma’am...are you saying that the entire time me and Aquamarine were on Earth...every single second...that there were thousands and thousands of these listening devices surrounding us at all times, listening to everything we were saying?”

“Correct,” Opal said. “They are very impressive machines. It took our scientists three full weeks to replicate even one once we got our hands on them. However, after we knew how they were created, mass-production started and soon we flew our ship over the planet, raining them in clusters across every continent. They are harmless to the ecosystem, harmless to Gems, and are only meant for surveillance. And as you can see, they still work perfectly thousands of years later. All of them. We received that message from over 500 million of them, and billions more, later on, coming from the Gem settlement called...Little Homeworld.”

“Uh...Permission to speak freely, ma’am?” Aquamarine requested.

“ _Granted_.”

“If these things existed back then, and they haven’t been detected on Earth even _today…_ ” Aquamarine started. “Then why weren’t they weaponized, ma’am? These devices... _machines_ could have been the most shattering killing method of all time!”

“Because they were outlawed. By White Diamond.” Opal said. “Just like the time dials were. White saw them as a potential threat to her existence, so she outlawed them throughout the Gem empire and personally made sure that all records of how to create them were destroyed.”

“Then why are they still around now ma’am?” Ruby asked. “You said you replicated them, so how did you or the Captain create more?”

“Like I told you. We stole a few of the remaining ones and our scientists took some apart to learn how to replicate them. But we could only figure out how to use them for surveillance and hacking into things, not for killing.” Opal said. “Nevertheless, it all paid off in the end. Not a single whispered word can be said of our glorious captain on the _entire_ planet without us hearing it! We are...everywhere.”

“That’s...incredible,” Ruby said, eyes wide. “To think that all this time...you were listening to us. That those robots were everywhere we looked, and we just didn’t see them.”

“Ingenious, no?” Opal beamed. “But. Now that all that has been explained, it is time to get back to business. You see, our Captain does not like it when others are talking about him. But thankfully, we know the identities of those who did.”

“And who are they, ma’am?” Aquamarine queried.

“There are 10 of them,” Opal said. “A Pearl, an Amethyst, a Bismuth, a Lapis, a Ruby and Sapphire fused into a Garnet, a Peridot, a Jasper, a human named Connie, and Steven Universe himself.”

Ruby’s gaze darkened. “Steven…” She growled. “Of course it’d have to be him. Who else would it be? And I remember several of the others too. They threw my entire squad into space. They deserve to pay for what they’ve done. And now just for talking about the Captain, but for all the hardships they’ve brought on me!”

“Agreed,” Aquamarine said. “Those bollocks will get their day of reckoning. I swear it.”

“I’m glad you’re both on the same page,” Opal said, nodding in approval. “Because that anger is going to come in handy on your mission. And that mission is…” She paused for dramatic effect. “...Go to Earth, and kill them all.”

“...”

“...”

“A-all of them, ma’am?” Ruby breathed.

“Yes. _All_ of them.” Opal said. “All ten. The Captain doesn’t want a single one left alive. You can make it look like an accident, or a murder, or whatever you want. But the point is...by the end of your mission...they must _all_ be dead. Especially Steven, Connie, and the Pearl. Those three take precedence.”

“O-oh,” Ruby mumbled, staring at the floor solemnly. “But...I can’t…”

“Can’t _what?”_ Opal snarled. “You _can’t_ kill them? Are you joking?” She asked. “When you joined this crew, you knew what you might be asked to do. Including killing fellow Gems, simply because they knew something they weren’t supposed to. Are you telling me that you’re disobeying a direct order _from your Captain?”_

Ruby froze up. “N-no, that's not what I…”

“Excuse me…” Aquamarine interjected, getting the feeling that she should step in. “But I think I can explain why this bumbling idiot doesn’t want to do the job, ma’am.”

“And why’s that?”

“Because of Jasper,” Aquamarine revealed. “Ruby here idolizes her. And one of the Gems on our hit list is Jasper. So…” She shrugged. “...Ruby doesn’t want to murder her hero, ma’am.”

“Ah. I see.” Opal said. “Well, that can be remedied. _You_ can be the one to shatter Jasper, not Ruby. Problem solved, end of story.”

“B-but…” Ruby started.

“ _Shut up.”_ Aquamarine hissed, causing Ruby to slam her mouth shut.

“I would listen to your partner.” Opal beamed. “If you know what’s best for you.” She leaned in again. “Now, Ruby. Are there any problems?”

“N-no, ma’am.”

“You won’t have trouble killing the rest of them?”

“No, ma’am.”

Opal stared her directly in the eye, as if testing her. Ruby tried not to flinch, and felt more and more afraid as the tension in the room grew, almost like a bomb slowly reaching the end of its fuse.

But eventually, Opal snorted and turned away, smiling to herself. “Very good.” She said. “Now, for the pre-mission briefing. You will be given a more extensive explanation of this a little while later, when we have more time, but this is the short of it.”

Opal straightened herself and took on a more formal tone, while Ruby and Aquamarine snapped to attention.

“You will be given a list of targets, the ten I mentioned, and who you will be shattering first,” Opal explained. “Jasper is first on the list, followed by Steven, the Lapis Lazuli, the Bismuth, and so on. We have ranked them from what we believe to be most to least dangerous, so that you can get the worst of it finished at the start.”

“So we’ll be killing his human friend last, ma’am?” Aquamarine asked.

“No,” Opal said. “You will be killing the Peridot last, as we predict that she is actually _weaker_ than this Connie is in combat. But rest assured, none of them should be underestimated. The nanobots have given us much information about them, and what they’ve done up to this point is...mildly impressive.”

“May I ask a question, ma’am?” Ruby asked.

“Technically, you just asked one, but yes,” Opal said. “What is it?”

“How exactly are we going to do this, ma’am?” Ruby queried. “If it’s just the two of us going alone, then I’m personally having doubts that we’ll be able to take them all down fast enough that none of them notice until they’re all dead. Especially since several of them are usually together. And as for Jasper…” She sucked her breath in. “...even fused, we don’t stand a chance, ma’am.”

Opal nodded. “Normally, I would agree with you. Your concerns are understandable.” She said. “However, while it may just be the two of you, you _will_ have a weapon that will secure victory. One that I think one of you is _very_ familiar with…”

Without saying another word, Opal’s Gem glowed and a small object appeared out of it, a thin, extremely dark, and cylinder-like wand. Aquamarine’s eyes widened as she recognized it, and a small part of her mind began bouncing up and down like an excited child.

“That’s my wand!” She exclaimed. “Where did you get that? I thought the Authority destroyed all weapons like that after we were forced to turn them over!” She then paused and calmed herself, only now realizing just how rude she was being in front of her superiors. “Err…ma’am.”

“It’s alright. I would have a similar reaction as well.” Opal said calmly. “But as for your question, the answer is simple. Our Captain asked me to retrieve one once they heard that they were being dismantled. And if our Captain wants it, they get it. So I took one of the smaller ships we have aboard and stole what could be the last one in existence.”

“Incredible…” Aquamarine whispered. “So I’ll be receiving that to help out on the mission, ma’am?”

“Correct,” Opal confirmed. “You will be given your wand. And as for _you…”_ She turned towards Ruby. “...You are to finish the job once your partner has frozen the targets.”

Ruby tilted her head at this reveal and silently clearly her throat. “C-could you be a little more specific about that, ma’am?”

“Of course,” Opal muttered, although she was clearly irritated that the Ruby was too stupid to figure it out on her own. “This is what you will do for each target. Aquamarine, you will first freeze them with your wand. Afterward, Ruby will take out her knife and shatter them by striking their Gem. But as for the human, you should freeze them and then stab them in the head.” She said, before narrowing her eyes. “And as for Universe...we believe it is best if you both shatter his Gem _and_ stab him in the head. Kill both parts of him. More information will be in the mission briefing we will give you, but those are the basics of how you will get the job done.”

“What should we do if we run into any humans or Gems that _aren’t_ one of our targets, ma’am?” Aquamarine asked.

“You avoid them if you can, kill them if necessary,” Opal said casually. “Only kill them if they recognize you, as the more casualties there are, the more people there will be hunting you after the job is done. Which is something we don’t need. And there...is also something we have to discuss. If you are captured…” Emerald paused before her Gem glowed again, and she pulled two small black orbs out of it, no bigger than a marble. She tossed one to each of them, and the two spent a moment examining them. 

“...then press those against your Gem.” She finished.

“What do they do, ma’am?” Ruby asked.

“They’re remote shattering devices,” Opal said, causing Ruby and Aquamarine to gasp simultaneously. “If they come in contact with the surface of any Gem, it’ll send a signal back to us. We will, in turn, activate them. They will then let out an electric charge powerful enough to shatter any Gem into pieces.”

“Y-you want us to _shatter_ ourselves if the mission goes wrong, ma’am?” Ruby asked, horrified. “Just like that?”

“Yes,” Opal confirmed. “We cannot risk the chance that you could be captured by the Crystal Gems and they will use an advanced method of interrogation to try and figure out who sent you. This, in turn, will lead them to the strange star and therefore to _us_. Then we will have to find a new base of operations and it’ll be a very big hassle for all of us.” She sneered at the tiny Gem. “Don’t tell me you’re thinking of balking at an order _again_ , Ruby.” She hissed. “That’s already two strikes. Do it a third time and…”

She snapped her fingers. “I’ll press that thing up against your Gem myself and permanently rid you of disloyalty.”

“B-because I’ll be dead?”

“Precisely. Now is there a problem?”

“No. No problem, ma’am.” Ruby said softly. 

“That's _great.”_ Opal seethed. “Now then, you both have your orders. Kill them all. If you are captured or otherwise put into a position where you cannot escape, press the orb against your Gem. And a final reminder. If you _don’t_...and you _are_ captured...then we will find you. And we will put you through more pain than any other Gem has throughout history. Even more so than that useless, disgusting, “experience” downstairs.”

A sudden faint screech of agony was heard several decks below, as if emphasizing her point. Opal grinned upon hearing it and giggled slightly.

“Got it?”

“Yes. We both got it, ma’am!” Aquamarine said quickly. “We promise we will not fail your mission!”

“I know you won’t,” Opal said. “Because you know the fate that awaits you if you do.” She sighed and handed the wand over to Aquamarine. “Now, both of you head to the secondary bridge. Someone with the extended mission briefing, which will explain what to do after you finish the job, such as where we will pick you up and how you should dispose of the shards and bodies, will be there waiting for you. After that, you will have two weeks to prepare yourself fully for this mission, during which you will be involved in numerous sessions on how to properly deal with each opponent in case things go wrong and you're forced to fight without that wand. After these weeks are up, you will go to the vehicle bay and there will be a pod waiting for you there to take you to Earth. Understand?”

“Yes, ma’am!” They both said, although Ruby’s voice cracked slightly.

“Good. Now leave us. And when you finally do get sent off...don’t fail.”

The two Gems nodded and then scurried off, the door to the bridge automatically opening for them. It shut the second they went through it, leaving just Opal, Emerald, and the Captain. 

There was a short five-second period of silence, as if all of them were figuring out what to do next. Opal was smiling slightly while looking at the ground, Emerald was almost shaking in fear as she realized that this was likely the end of her, and the Captain...well, they were still sitting. Waiting. Speaking and giving orders to Opal without even opening their mouths. 

Then Opal giggled. It was a low, sadistic giggle, akin to one an insane person might give off after being found guilty for a murder. Emerald slowly turned towards the Gem, getting the feeling that she should try to escape. But the rational part of her won over. What good would trying to escape do? Even if she managed to get away from Opal _and_ the Captain, the ship was full of hundreds of internal defenses. She wouldn’t make it to the next room, much less an escape pod.

All she could do now was wait.

And then Opal’s giggle turned into a laugh, which rang out throughout the bridge and was full of more humor than Emerald had seen from any Gem. It was as if she had just heard the universe’s best joke for the first time.

“M-ma’am?” She whispered, doing her best not to stutter. (But failing.) “Now that it is just us, may I finally ask why you have brought me here?”

Almost like a switch had been flipped, Opal ceased her laughter and swiveled her head around at Emerald, her neck making a sound similar to a rusty iron gate being swung open. The smile faded from her face as her eyes were replaced with ones full of indignant rage, and her features twisted until they formed a scowl.

“Why?” She repeated. “You want to know...why the Captain brought you here? Wow. You really _are_ an idiot.”

“Ma’am?” Emerald choked, forcing out the words. Opal began to walk over while Emerald remained frozen in place, her feet now feeling like they weighed as much as a planet. She wasn’t even sure if she could _try_ to escape now. “I’m not sure-”

“Don’t think we don’t know everything.” Opal seethed, strolling over to Emerald’s backside and whispering in her ear. “We know about the mutiny you’re planning. We know how much you want to replace me as first mate, and eventually get rid of our Captain. We know Emerald. We know…”

She walked back towards the opposite wall, disappearing into the darkness as only the blue glow given off by her pupils remained visible, looking identical to a predator’s. Emerald meanwhile felt like her world was collapsing around her, Opal’s reveal that they were aware of her planned insurrection almost causing her to poof on the spot. She was now nothing short of terrified, and frankly, she couldn’t see a single way out of this one.

“It’s such a disappointment.” She muttered. “We had high hopes for you. A disgraced war-general, in charge of an entire fleet. We thought you could make a model edition to our crew. And you did for a while. You completed your tasks perfectly, followed orders without question, even though you were made to give them, and did whatever we wanted you too.” She sighed. “I’m going to admit it. I...liked you.” Opal said softly, almost in a solemn way. “I enjoyed having you around. I saw you as a shadow of my former self, and I was excited that one day you might become something like me, a perfect example of what a crew member must be. But you...weren’t any of that in the end. And so I grew to _hate_ you for it.”

Opal emerged from the darkness and moved towards the giant wall-window, gazing at the strange star a hundred million miles away. It’s light illuminated her skin, almost making her glow, and Emerald thought she saw sparkles of light erupt across her Gem’s surface as the brightness put out by the star splayed itself across it. For a moment, she looked heavenly. Godlike, almost. And if she was Godlike, then Emerald was nothing but a mere mortal, powerless against her divine might.

“As we saw…” Opal continued. “You started to grow weary. You longed for the days when you had more power. When your position actually meant something. I saw it. Our Captain saw it. _Everyone_ saw it. No matter how hard you try to hide it, Emerald, everyone here knows what it looks like.” She said, rolling her eyes. “We all know the face of a Gem who’s planning a rebellion. We’ve seen the identical expression on dozens of crew members, each of them sharing the same fate. We leave them behind, and they now lay adrift in space, perhaps for all time.”

A faint cry of pain rang out from below, causing Opal to let out a chortle.

“Well, except for _that_ mess.” She said. “But that thing is a whole other story. However…” Opal mumbled. “We all knew that you were planning to take power. Our Captain got a dozen reports in a single day. So we made plans. Which led to you being called up here. To _us_. And now...you will pay the price for your plans.”

Opal’s left foot turned, and then in an instant, she was standing right in front of Emerald, moving so fast that she didn’t even see the movement. It was like she had traveled at the speed of light, appearing in one place and then moving to another in the blink of an eye. Emerald gasped and fell backward, landing on the floor with a thud. Opal loomed over her, her grin stretching from ear to ear.

“Don’t you get it?” She asked. “You were _never_ going to win this. You had no chance from the very beginning. Even if you managed to take us both out, the crew would never follow your orders. They are dead loyal, like me. They would have torn you to pieces and crushed your Gem until it was nothing but _sand.”_

Opal then walked backwards again towards the Captain’s chair, which was still facing away from them. If they were even aware of what was going on at the moment, they didn’t show it.

“And _now…_ ” Opal said. “It’s time.” Her Gem glowed for the final time and she pulled out a small dagger, it’s blade no more than a few centimeters in length.

“This is what’s going to happen,” Opal said, sticking her tongue out and licking the blade like it was a lollipop. “I know you have a dagger stored in your Gem. So you and I are going to play a little game. We’re going to be put in a cage, no bigger than an escape pod, and fight it out. You with that dagger, me with this little thing.”

“You...you’re going to _fight_ me?” Emerald asked. “That’s my punishment?”

“What? Oh no. Oh nononononono…” Opal said. “That’s the _start_ of your punishment. You see, our beloved Captain has a special ability. One that no other singular being has, not even White Diamond herself or Steven Universe, according to what we’ve seen so far. They can bring _back_ shattered Gems.”

Emerald felt like someone had just punched her in the stomach. “They...that’s impossible!” She exclaimed, although a small part of her knew that Opal _had_ to be telling the truth. She had no reason to lie in this situation, because there was nothing for her to fear if it was outed as such. She wasn’t a liar. Especially not when it came to matters about punishing insubordination. And Emerald’s fear only grew higher and higher as she realized what this revelation meant for her.

Opal chuckled. “Judging by the look on your face, I see you now know what awaits you. So back to the first thing I’m going to do. We will be put in the cage to fight. Now, Emerald, I am the best combatant on this ship by far. I shattered hundreds of Gems in battle before being abandoned. Of course, doing that is _why_ I was abandoned…” She admitted. “...But I have experience. Unlike you. Because you’re not one for the field. You stay on the ship and give orders. I’d be surprised if you were ever even _in_ a real fight.”

“D-don’t you underestimate me,” Emerald growled, trying not to let her voice crack out of fear. “I had to fight dozens of “real” battles to get to where I was! Unlike you Opal, who likely only shattered Gems for no reason! You never fought any battles! You probably just murdered any Gem you came across on that planet and managed to stay hidden while your victim count went up! You’re not a warrior! You’re a coward who preys on the weak and deludes yourself into thinking that those shattering were “battles”! The truth is...you’re nothing! I can see it in the way you move, speak, everything!”

Emerald then stood still for a moment as silence fell over the bridge, catching her breath after such a speech. Opal’s expression hadn’t even changed, as if it was frozen in time. A second later, she rolled her eyes and sighed happily.

“...Wrong. _Wrongwrongwrong!”_ She said joyfully. “Ah, you know, this is one of my favorite parts. The part where I reveal to the useless crew members how they’re going to die, and then they put on some stupid speech about how _they_ know me and make a couple claims about who I was. Who I _really_ was before all this.” She placed her elbows on nothing and rested her chin in her palms. “And you know what they all have in common? They’re... _wrong!”_ She exclaimed, throwing her arms up in the air. “They’ve never gotten a single thing right. Just. Like. You.”

She smirked and did a cartwheel across the room, much to Emerald’s visible confusion. She eventually landed on her feet next to the door, shaking in excitement like a child.

“I knew it! I knew it! _I knew it!!!”_ She screamed. “I knew it all along! I’m the one behind the plans! I’m the one who figured it all out! I’m the one who helped _expose_ you, Emerald! And soon we will be placed in that cage, I will shatter you with this weapon, one facet of your Gem at a time, and then our Captain will resurrect you and we can _do it again_ for all eternity! Isn’t that fun?!” She asked jovially, her gaze fixated on Emerald, crazed and unblinking.

‘She’s insane…’ Emerald thought, horrified that her fate was now in the hands of this person. ‘But...but what can I do? If we fight in that cage...even if she’s not a good fighter, I don’t think I can beat her, now that I just saw who she _really_ is. If the last thirty seconds taught me anything, it’s that she’s the type of Gem whose moves are too unpredictable and too random. She’s a crazy person, and that’s all Opal needs to win!’ Emerald scowled. ‘Curse it! I...I have…..” She sighed. ‘How could I let myself get pulled into this mess…’

Opal then did another cartwheel back over to the Captain’s chair, and stood with the back of it facing her own. “Oh, Emerald…” She cooed. “You’re such a good Gem. I almost thought I was in love with you when I first saw your skills. But...this is the end, unfortunately. Soon, the Captain will call the guards over to take you to the cage, and in a few hours, you will meet your end. The first of many that awaits you. I hope you enjoy it as much as I will.”

Without Opal even noticing, the chair began to swivel around towards her, causing Emerald’s eyes to bug out in surprise. What was…?

“And the best part is...we each get a turn!” Opal continued, oblivious to the movement behind her. “After _meeeee_ , all the _other_ crew members will climb in that ring, one at a time, after you reform. We’ll bring you back to life, _again and again_ , every day until the universe itself ends! A way of letting off stress, if you will.” She let out a faint “EEEEEE” sound, which Emerald believed was some kind of display of excitement. But what Opal didn’t notice was that the Captain’s chair had now done a complete 180, and the Captain themselves was facing her.

And Emerald gasped loudly at what, or rather _who_ , she saw. The screens that had been floating in front of the chair were no more, giving her a full view of the person behind all of this. 

They were rather short, much shorter than she thought they would be. Their skin was a light color, one that she couldn’t quite make out, as darkness still covered most of their body. But it looked almost...pinkish? Other than that, their appearance was rather complex. They wore a loose bodysuit, with large white X’s on the chest, shoulders, knees, palms, and neck. But the strangest part about the suit was the small white dots adorning it. They looked like stars against the blackness of space...but that wasn’t the weird part. What was odd was that the suit _acted_ like it was space as well.

Emerald didn’t notice it at first, instead focusing on the large X’s, but once she moved her head slightly, and thought she saw the suit, _not_ the Captain, move, she continued tilting her head back and forth, unnoticed by Opal. It was like the stars were _moving_ across the suit, disappearing and reappearing as she observed it from different angles. The suit moved like an actual night sky, and after a minute Emerald forced herself to turn slightly away from the sight. It was just too disorienting. Too confusing for her eyes to comprehend. She had never heard of that type of technology before, and wondered why it was being wasted on a piece of fabric rather than the outside surface of the ships. It’d make them _completely_ invisible then, with the star backdrop appearing identical to the rest of the infinite void that surrounded them.

And as for the face…

Emerald turned back to the Captain, this time focusing on the one place she hadn’t looked: Their head. Unfortunately, it was mostly covered by the darkness, but Emerald could make out a few features. Their irises were a faint purple, but the rest of their eyes were black and seemed to swim with stars, just like their clothing. But more than that, there was something there. Something deep in those eyes that she couldn’t quite make out. Wisdom? Experience? Irritation? Whatever the answer, it was there. And it was something that Emerald most _certainly_ lacked.

The rest of their face was off-putting as well. Their nose was short and simple, their mouth closed and their lips tensed, and their eyebrows furrowed. But what set Emerald off about them was their hair. Even more so than their eyes, their hair looked like a mystery in of itself. Emerald knew that organic hair was _not_ composed of light as Gems were. (Assuming that the Captain _was_ organic. But if not a Gem, she really didn’t know what else they could be) It was made of other stuff. Weird, gross, fleshy stuff. The same things their fingernails and toenails were made of. It was all a bunch of rabble that she didn’t care to investigate, but…

She was certain that organic hair wasn’t supposed to look like _this_.

At first glance, it seemed to be normal hair. It was very long, draping far past their shoulders, and was covering a good deal of their face. It wasn’t one big mass at any given area, but rather several hundred strands set into many big ones, which looked so long at some parts that they would have touched the floor had the Captain stood up.

But that was normal. Emerald had seen long hair before like that on Gems. 

However...it was what the hair _itself_ actually looked like that made her recoil. 

It was crystal-like, glittering in the few beams of luminescence that set themselves upon it. On closer inspection, it was like the hair was _made_ out of crystals, as Emerald could see hundreds if not thousands of tiny glass-like shards embedded in the hair, like they had grown straight out of their scalp. It was amazing to observe...and even more amazing to think about.

Just who was this person, was the question that rang in Emerald’s mind. With the stair suit, the eyes, and the crystal hair, they had the godlike appearance of a Diamond...but with none of the beautiful and wise words that the Gem leaders were known for. 

The Captain almost seemed to sense that Emerald had finished looking them over, and moved their left arm upward. It was done slowly, meticulously, with nary a tremble nor a single hint of hesitation visible. Opal was still clueless as to her Captain’s movement, as she was still going on about what each crew member was going to do to Emerald, in the most brutal and unnecessary way possible: In _detail_.

“And _after_ Tourmaline uses those shards to...what?” She asked, finally getting a glimpse of Emerald’s expression. “What are you looking at? My eyes are down _here._ ” 

Emerald didn’t answer, instead continuing to focus on the Captain. A second later, they opened their palm and placed something between their thumb and index finger, which Emerald recognized as one of the orbs from earlier that Opal was talking about. _The shattering orbs_.

‘They will then let out an electric charge powerful enough to shatter any Gem into pieces.’ She thought, Opal’s earlier words echoing through her mind. The Captain then reached forward towards Opal’s back, where her Gemstone was located. Emerald gasped again as she realized what was about to happen, a scenario and outcome that she never imagined.

“Oh, I see,” Opal said gleefully. “You’re _scared_. To silence. It’s understandable. I-”

Before she could another word, the Captain pressed the orb against her back, causing her to instinctively tense up.

“What in-” She started, and Opal began to turn around, but by then it was already too late. A sudden flash of light and a scream followed as the orb glowed and sent a giant jolt of electricity through Opal’s Gem and form, the Captain completely unaffected by the energy. Apart from their suit, which lit up as the stars decorating it turned blue, orange, yellow, and dozens of other hues that Emerald hadn’t even _seen_ before. She thought it was a trick of the light, but on closer inspection, she realized that it wasn’t. New colors, unseen by anyone else in history, being made right before her eyes. It hurt just to _witness_. She turned away from the sight like last time, her eyes unable to handle the impossible process, and instead focused directly on Opal again, something that was much easier, and much more enjoyable, to look at.

And Opal was falling apart. Her Gem and body cracked and started to crumble as more electricity was pumped into her, the whole thing looking extremely painful. Opal didn’t appear to be able to move, as she was frozen in place except for her mouth, which was letting out a guttural scream of pain. All the Gems she had sentenced to death were finally getting their revenge, and in a better way than any of them could have thought.

And then...it was over. With a loud noise that sounded like a glass pane shattering, Opal poofed, the smoke clouding the area of momentarily blocking Emerald’s vision. Once it cleared, however, Opal was gone, all that remained a small pile of sand on the floor, dead and grey. Emerald stepped back upon seeing it, despite knowing that was what would happen. It was like she knew it’d happen, but still hadn’t expected it too. It was just so shocking and sudden that Emerald was having trouble comprehending the event that she witnessed.

The Captain then drew their arm back, letting the orb drop from their hands and land on top of the pile of sand. They sighed, and then spoke, their voice deep and their tone one of tiredness.

“Opal was getting tiresome.” They stated, causing Emerald to tense up again. The fact that they were directly speaking to her was more shocking than the fact that they killed Opal, if that was even possible. “All that sadism...all those expectations...I hated it. She should have died sooner.”

“T-then why didn’t you do that e-earlier?” Emerald asked, not sure if she was about to share the same fate or not. “Uh, C-captain.”

“At ease. Dispense with the pleasantries.” They requested with a sigh. “Technically, you’re not a member of my crew right now, due to Opal writing you out of the database earlier. As of now...you’re on your own. You don’t have to address me as “Captain” if you don’t want to, Emerald.”

“I...thank you,” Emerald said. “But...what does that mean? What does _this_ mean? Just...what?”

“It means Opal has taken an involuntary, indefinite leave of absence.” The Captain said, grimacing at the pile of sand. “I think I shall expand on her. You deserve that much after what she put you through. Everyone does, really, but especially you.”

Emerald remained silent, and the Captain went on with their story.

“I picked her up a good few thousand years ago.” They said. “On that planet. I suppose by now you know that much. And what you deduced was true by the way. She never fought in battles. She was a murderer, no more a fighter then Jack the Ripper or The Lock or any other Earth murderer that stalked the streets looking for victims.”

“Who...are those people?” Emerald asked obviously.

“Human killers.” The Captain sighed. “It’s fine if you don’t get what I’m talking about sometimes. No one does. I’m the only one who keeps up with what’s happening on my home planet.”

Emerald tried to hide her shock. “You...you were made on Earth?”

“ _Born.”_ The Captain iterated, before sinking into their chair. “Well, actually, I suppose I was born _and_ made. Born originally, then _made_ for my second life. It’s all very confusing to someone who knows nothing about me. Which is thankfully everyone.”

“So...that means you _are_ an organic.” Emerald deduced, her precious fear of this person all but gone, even though she was sure they could kill her with a simple wave of their hand. “Like I suspected.”

“Is that a problem?”

“Errr…”

“It’s fine if it is.” The Captain said. “I get that most Gems aren’t fond of organics, never mind taking orders from them. And you were a high-ranking Gem. You weren’t fond of _any_ Gem below you, so I can imagine what you thought of “lower-life forms”.”

“Well...I don’t think you qualify as that.” Emerald stuttered. “You certainly don’t _look_ like any organic creature I’ve seen.”

“I _don’t,_ do I?” The Captain asked rhetorically. “All this...is a side-effect. The suit is custom made, but my hair, my eyes...all that was added on later.”

“By what, if I may ask?”

The Captain’s gaze darkened for the first time, and the fear that Emerald _thought_ had disappeared suddenly returned with a vengeance.

“That’s not important. We were talking about Opal, not me after all.” They reminded her.

“O-of course. W-we should get back to that.”

“Agreed. Now, where was I…” They thought about it for a moment, before perking their head up. “Ah yes. She was a murderer. A cowardly one at that. She never approached multiple Gems, even if it was just two of them. She also avoided any Gems that were made for combat, which made her superiors believe that the killer must not be one as well.”

“Clever,” Emerald noted.

“Quite. But she got sloppy eventually. She wanted more.” The Captain said. “So she attacked one of the leaders of the colony. A Lapis Lazuli who doubled as the co-managers for the planet's colonization process.”

“Really?” Emerald asked. “Valuable as they are, I’ve never heard of a Lazuli carrying that high a rank…”

“Yes. But that's beside the point.” The Captain said. “But she didn’t know. You see, Opal was delusional.”

“Yeah, I think I could pick that up myself…” Emerald snarked, before immediately regretting it. Thankfully, the Captain did not have as negative a reaction as she had feared. Quite the opposite, in fact.

They _laughed._

“I’m sure you did.” They said. “She liked to do that to everyone. It was one of the reasons I killed her. It was getting obnoxious.”

“For the sake of interest...did you know that she was planning to stage a mutiny against you?” Emerald asked. “Just like...ehm, me?”

“Nothing goes on in this ship without me knowing about it, so yes.” The Captain said. “It wouldn’t have been successful anyway. If she threw a knife at me, I would catch it. If she _thrust_ a knife or any other shape object at me, I would have caught her hand. And while there are a million more ways she could have tried to kill me, rest assured all of them would have failed. I may be organic, but I am not helpless. I am…” They hesitated to speak, and for a second Emerald thought they lost their momentum. “...the perfect organism.”

“That’s...quite the bold statement,” Emerald said. 

“It is. But I have many things to back it up. Now, “perfect” doesn’t necessarily mean “strongest”.” The Captain said. “There are still many beings who could easily defeat me in a fight. And before you ask, no, the Diamonds are not one of them. Their size is their downfall, and it would be used against them.”

“Then what was Opal’s downfall?”

“If we go back to the story, I can explain it better.” They said. “As I mentioned, Opal was delusional. See, anyone with a lick of common sense would know that an Opal, like most Gems, is no match for a Lapis Lazuli. Even without a large body of water nearby, their wings are still a very powerful asset on their own. But Opal did _not_ have common sense. She did at the beginning, but as her victim count racked up she began to become too arrogant. She convinced herself that she could take on a Lazuli and win. She thought she was invincible.”

“So...I’m guessing she lost horribly, the Gems abandoned the planet and she was left behind as a result?” Emerald said.

“Not _quite.”_ The Captain said. “See, the higher-ups knew Opal had been behind the killings for some time. There are things called “hidden security cameras” after all. And they figured that she’d tried to kill a more powerful Gem eventually, so they set up a little sting operation. They lured her out into the open, into a place where she thought no one but her target was...and then with a flash of light, they revealed the rest. Every single Gem on the colony. Hundreds of them, all staring her down. I wish I could have seen the look on her face, back then when she recited the tale, but the story was good enough. After she left, I had a good laugh over the whole thing.”

“What happened to her afterward? Was there any trial?”

“No. The colony was almost finished at that point, and it was a small one, so they kicked it into high-gear, completed their work, and left Opal behind by order of the two Gems in charge. They felt that it was a fitting punishment. The only Gems left were herself and the shards of her former victims, forever stuck there. No ships, no warp pads, no...nothing.”

“And then you found her.” Emerald surmised, looking down at the sand pile again.

“We did, and we took her in. The second she told me that story I knew she was insane, but I let her stay because I needed more crew members back then. I wasn’t fully used to being able to run the ship entirely by myself if the need arises until a few hundred years later, so any stowaways like her, even mass-murdering ones, were appreciated.”

“How did she make it to being your first mate?” Emerald asked. “I don’t think I’d want a person like that constantly at my side.”

“She did anything I said without question and did it perfectly.” The Captain replied. “Sure, she had been planning that mutiny, possibly from the very start, but I knew I could stop it so I thought that I better use her whole I still could.”

“That sounds...incredibly risky,” Emerald noted. 

“It was. But it was worth it. She made a decent first mate.” They said. “When we got so many crew members that we could start throwing some out into space for attempted insurrection, or torturing them like that mess…” They pointed at the floor. “I thought that I should just kill her then and there. But that might alert the rest of the crew that I was aware of _their_ planned mutiny, so...I decided against it.”

“Do...do you know about _all_ the-” Started Emerald.

“All the rebellions that the crew is cooking up against me?” The Captain anticipated. “Yes. Yes, I do. Like I told you, nothing happens on this ship without me knowing about it. And it doesn’t matter. It won’t work. It hasn’t before, it won’t now. Only the new members, like you, are stupid enough to try and overthrow me. The old ones...the ones that have been here for thousands of years...well, they’re exactly like Opal said. Dead loyal. They reported you because they wanted to gain my trust, and the new ones reported you for the same reason.” They sighed again. “My trust...is the most valuable thing on this hunk of metal.”

Emerald stayed silent. That...was a lot to take it. Not just the stuff they said a second ago, but _all_ of it. Truth be told, she was having trouble forming a proper response. There were still so many things she wanted to ask...but she decided to go with the thing that was at the top of her mind, the question she saw as most important.

“What...happens now?” She asked. “What are you going to do with me?”

“What am I going to do with you…” The Captain repeated. “Yes...that is a very good question. I had a few options.” They held their fingers up and began listing things off. “First, I thought I would just kill you like Opal. With the orb. Maybe make the voltage higher, so your death wouldn’t last as long, but…” They shrugged. “It’d still be excruciatingly painful.”

Emerald flinched and stood silently, feeling like now was not the best time to interrupt.

“Second option…” They said. “I would throw you out into space like all the others. There, you would be left to drift for all time, cold and alone in the void. No one would ever find you, and you’d stay there until the heat death of the universe, or any other universe ending-event. Simply put, space would become your eternal prison.”

They sighed and looked at the ground, prompting Emerald to do the same. “Then there was the third option. Treating you the same way we treat that mess. Do you know the story behind them? Probably not.” The Captain said, not bothering to let her answer for herself. “They tried to throw a mutiny, as per usual. But they made it a _little_ farther than most. They shattered an Amethyst who tried to stop them, and managed to slash me across the cheek with a knife. Granted, it healed itself completely a second later, but it still hurt. The first real pain I had felt in thousands of years. And so...I had Opal design a few torture devices. _Quite_ a few.”

They leaned forward and grinned. “That’s the fun option. But as for number four...I figured we could chain you to the back of the ship. Drag you around as another example. This option always amuses me. However…” The Captain shook their head. “These have one thing in common. I didn’t come up with any of them. Opal did. And that irks me to no end. So...I’ve come up with one of my own. Option number _five.”_

“A-and what’s that?” Emerald asked.

“Simply put...you will be my new first mate, filling Opal’s position. If you accept...effective immediately.”

“...”

“...”

“W-was that a joke?” Emerald queried nervously, wondering if she heard them correctly. “You want _me_ to be your new first mate?”

“Yup. 

“But why?!” She exclaimed. “I was planning a mutiny against you! I mean, I’m not complaining, but why would you want something like me as second-in-command?”

“Because you’re better.” The Captain said. “Better than Opal. Better than most Gems on this ship. And most of all, you understand. You were dead loyal to the Diamonds. But the second you believed they turned their backs on Gemkind by turning over to Steven’s way of thinking, you hated them with every ounce of your being and devoted your existence to putting things back to the way they were. I like that. Respect it, almost. The drive. The ability to push on. The ability to know what’s _right_. Because I don’t like the new system either. Everyone has so much freedom. Everyone’s so damn _nice_. It’s disgusting.”

“You were pretty nice to me just a second ago.” Emerald pointed out.

“Yes, well, that was to get you to stop cowering in fear, unsuccessful as it was.” The Captain revealed. “But if you do accept my offer...remember that I won’t be as nice anymore. I will rarely speak a word to you, if at all. Your orders will come by screens, and not by mouth. Got it?”

“Y-yes. Definitely.” Emerald said.

“Good. Now, I believe I was talking about why I chose you.” They said. “That drive...it's something I need. Most of the Gems on this ship are like robot zombies. They’re single-minded, completing a task while having no true personality of their own. They’re not supposed to goof off or have fun, but god, show some emotion every once in a while!” They yelled, sounding quite frustrated. They took a deep breath and stared down at Emerald. “But _you_. You have emotion. You have personality. So did Opal, but I couldn’t keep her for reasons you’re already aware of.”

Emerald nodded slowly.

“Yeah, you get it. So that’s why. You have the drive. You have the emotion. You know what’s best and you’d do _anything_ to accomplish it.” They smirked at her slightly, before returning to a frown and leaning in again.

“But Emerald…” They whispered. “Understand this. I may be nice now. I may be talking. I forgive you for plotting to kill me. But if you try _any_ of that nonsense ever again…or betray my trust with your position...” They huffed. “I will bestie upon a punishment ten thousand times worse than that thing in the bottom of the ship. _Got_ it?”

“I got it,” Emerald said quickly. “No plotting, no betrayals, no nothing. I promise none of it will happen.”

“Good.” The Captain said. “So does this mean...you’re saying yes to my offer?”

Emerald nodded in a heartbeat, wondering if she even had a choice in that matter.

“Good.” The Captain repeated. “Then right here, right now, I proclaim you, Emerald GH3-63IY as the new first mate of _The Betrayal_. Congratulations.” They then did this sort of slow clap thing, and Emerald almost felt a surge of pride at it.

She had made it.

She had actually survived the day.

She had beaten Opal, and taken her position.

But should she still try and get the Captain’s position? No, of course not. For reasons she couldn’t understand, she was perfectly content right here. And besides, they saw all, knew all. Keeping it a secret would be impossible.

This was her life now. The Captain opened their mouth to speak again, but Emerald was lost in her head, smiling widely. A rush of nostalgia fluttered in her Gem, one that was very much welcome.

Because now...she could stay dishing out some real order, and feel like herself again.

“Oh, and Emerald?” The Captain said, reminding her that they were far from finished.

“Ah, yes, sir?” She asked.

“I have your first mission. I know it hasn’t been very long, but I think this is one that can’t wait.” They said.

“What is it, sir?”

The Captain then leaned in, as if for dramatic effect.

“Have you ever heard of something called the _mindscape?”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yup, Emerald, Ruby, and Aquamarine have come to this fic. There will be a few chapters in the future that will focus on Aquamarine and Ruby, and they're definitely one I'm looking forward too. But the next chapter will go back to the world Steven is trapped in, along with some more mental hijinks. And that's really all I have to say for this chapter, at least the things that won't give away spoilers.


	17. Lackeys

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And here we are, back to the "main" story. I hope that the last chapter was an okay transition, but if anyone didn't like it then please let me know so I can avoid such things in the future. But we're picking right up where 15 left off, so...yeah.

For the hundredth time today, Steven was absolutely clueless as to what he should do to remedy the situation.

Jasper was still crying and wailing like a mother standing in front of the grave of their child.

Everything was still on fire and showed no signs of stopping, like Dante’s Inferno had come to life right about where he was standing.

And he didn’t have the faintest clue about what he should do next.

If Jasper was in no condition to travel (and it certainly seemed that way), then he’d be alone for his journey to the nearest town, and that was something he couldn’t accept. 

He had to get her to stop. 

And the first step was probably figuring out the cause of this whole breakdown.

“Jasper…” He said softly, barely raising his voice above a whisper. “W-what happened? Who made you do something, and what did they make you do?”

Jasper sniffed and turned towards him, her eyes having a look in them that he had never in her eyes before, or anyone else’s really. “I don’t want to say…” She whimpered. “You’ll hate me. Like you always have.”

Steven sighed and took a cautionary step closer. “Jasper, I don’t hate you, and I can promise that whatever you’ve done, I _won’t_ hate you for it no matter…” He paused. “Okay, that’s not true. But I promise that I’ll try to not get upset or take it out on you. Especially if someone made you do it. So please...tell me...what did you do?”

“I...I don’t think the words will leave my mouth.” Jasper whispered. “I’ll have to show you. They should all still be up there.”

“Up...there?”

“Yes,” Jasper said. “But…” She stared at her hands. “I don’t want to leave. I want to stay here. It’s safer here. Safe from the fires. Safe from them. They won’t find me here, Universe. That’s why I’m here. They won’t find me…”

‘My god, she is a mess…’ Steven thought, not even sure if Jasper was putting on an act or if this was genuine. Mostly due to the fact that he couldn’t even begin to imagine what happened that managed to bring her to this state, considering how pompous and proud she acted in the past, never letting herself be put in a vulnerable position.

He just didn’t get it.

But maybe...maybe he could use this. Her mental state was obviously in a very poor condition at the moment, almost begging for someone to come along and help. And based on what he knew about Jasper, Steven knew _just_ how to get her back to her old self. Or at least partly. Enough that she could help him with whatever came next.

“Okay, Jasper.” He said softly, unable to believe the words that were about to exit his mouth. “It’s gonna be okay. I promise that whoever this is, I won’t let them hurt you or force you to do anything else. I swear on my word as…” He gulped. “...as your...D...Di...Diamond.”

Jasper stared right at him, her eyes almost lighting up. _“Diamond?_ You...you swear it?”

“...Yes.” Steven said, praying that his gamble would work. “I...P-pink Diamond, solemnly swear to not let any harm befall you, Jasper, my loyal soldier. No one will hurt you, and no one will force you to commit any actions that you or me do not permit.” He shifted in place, feeling like he was going to throw up from saying these things alone. “Understand?”

Jasper sat silently for a moment, seeming to stare directly into his soul. “I...I understand.” She said, her voice full of despair as she chose the only option that was left in her eyes. “ _My Diamond.”_

Steven winced but couldn’t help feeling relief. ‘Thank god.’ He thought. ‘I honestly never expected that to work. I suppose the only reason it did is because of how messed up she is at the moment. Practically begging for someone to come along and help. And I guess getting her back to her Diamond-worshiping roots...is the way to go. Huh. I wonder what would have happened if I tried this earlier…’

Instantly, Jasper stood up and performed a Diamond salute, although both her arms and legs were still trembling. “My Diamond.” She repeated. “I now live only to serve you, and anyone you command me to serve. What are your orders for me?”

“Well-” Steven started, before a question that was an earlier problem came to mind. “Wait. Jasper, how did you know it was me behind all these clothes earlier? I’m fully covered here.”

“I could tell by your height, My Diamond. As well as the sound of your footsteps.” The Quartz said. “When we fought in the past, I could easily recognize you from a distance, even if you were too blurry to make out. I also figured out what kind of sounds your footsteps make when you enter my cave. My Diamond.”

“But...the suit is over my sandals,” Steven said. “You couldn’t have realized it was me by the sound then. That doesn’t make sense.”

“I-I apologize, My Diamond,” Jasper said frantically. “I did not mean to disappoint you. I merely-”

“No, no, it’s okay!” Steven interjected. “Just...forget about it for now.”

“As you command, My Diamond,” Jasper said. “I shall erase it from the memory of my Gem.”

“Wait, don't...actually, nevermind,” Steven said, deciding it would just be best to just drop it. “Okay, Jasper. Do you think you can tell me what you did now, or do you have to show me?”

“I...still have to show you, My Diamond,” Jasper said shakily. “Forgive me for it, but even under your glorious orders, I can’t bring myself to say it aloud. I fear that _they_ will appear and attack you if I do, and that I will not be able to defend you effectively.”

“Hold on. So you’re saying if you tell me what happened then they’ll show up and attack, but if you actually show me they _won’t?”_ Steven said, a look of “are you kidding me” plastered on his face. 

“...Yes, My Diamond.” Jasper said. “That is what they told me after the job was done.”

“...Fine.” Steven muttered. “Take me then. Lead the way and show me what you did. And again, I promise I’ll try to not get angry at you.”

“As you command, My Diamond!” Jasper repeated, and then she walked past Steven and took a left away from the cave, forcing him to follow. They traversed the ash-covered landscape for a few minutes in silence, with Steven thinking about what Jasper could have done to make her cry like that.

‘It has to be something horrible, obviously.’ He surmised. ‘Her reaction and the pleas for mercy even when I wasn’t putting on this whole “Diamond” persona are reason enough for me to believe that it was also something that’s going to make me mad no matter what promises I made. What did she do? Attack my friends? Demolish a nearby town? Do…’ He glanced around at all the destruction. ‘...all of this?’ Steven huffed and shook his head. ‘No, I think I’m just being pessimistic there. Jasper’s one hell of a warrior, but she’s not capable of taking everyone on and then setting fire to all go Beach city and Little Homeworld. At least not alone. Even if someone ordered her too…there had to be others. I don’t think she’s responsible for this. And even if she is, she clearly didn’t want to do it.’

He turned his attention back towards Jasper, walking in a straight line and hardly showing any kind of emotion, like a heartless machine.

‘Still, it couldn't hurt to ask. She’s gone crazy enough that she almost immediately accepted my offer to become her Diamond, despite our past together, so if she won’t tell me what she did directly, maybe I can guess it out of her…’

“Jasper.” He said.

“Yes, My Diamond?” She replied, in the most formal tone possible.

“Did you do all this?”

“Do what, My Diamond?”

_“This,”_ Steven repeated. “Everything’s on fire. Beach City is gone. Little Homeworld will be soon. My house is destroyed, my car is nothing but a metal frame...it’s hell on Earth back there. And here. Was that...you? Did you set fire to everything?”

Jasper hesitated to answer at first, but responded after a moment, sounding like she was trying to not get caught in a lie.

“It was not, My Diamond.” She said. “I did not destroy your home. That was someone else.”

“Who?”

“The same person who ordered me to do...that,” Jasper said softly. “They attacked your town, My Diamond. Destroyed it in a matter of minutes with an invisible craft, dropping bombs left and right. We had no long-ranged weapons that could hit it, except for one human odd hair, who attacked it with an iron rod that shot some sort of projectile.”

“Vidalia?” Steven half-asked, recalling how she had pointed a shotgun at him and Amethyst when they first entered her garage. “She attacked it? What happened to her? Is she okay?”

“I am not sure, My Diamond,” Jasper answered. “The ship attacked the area she was standing around, but I did not see if she was directly hurt or wounded. But I do know that her weapon had no effect. Your blacksmith, the Bismuth, tried to throw some of her weapons at it, but those were all ineffective. Nothing we had could scratch it, and the town was demolished in a matter of minutes.”

“A matter of minutes…” Steven gasped. This meant a few things. One, that there was hardly any time to evacuate, and that his hopes that no one was hurt and everyone survived was just made useless. Vidalia might be dead. Possibly Bismuth as well. And a lot of other people too. If the Gems on the ship or “they” attacked indiscriminately, and weren’t afraid to take lives, then Steven would have every right to start assuming the worst. It also explained why there was no one big impact crater. There was no giant bomb. Just hundreds of little ones, evidently spread like evil seeds by this craft. 

His next few breaths shuddered from the thought, but Steven did his best to calm himself. He couldn’t break down again. Not here. Not now. And while Jasper would probably be perfectly content to carry him at the moment, thanks to her convenient Diamond-worshiping side coming out, Steven knew that he had to be strong for them, even if they were dead. Because lying down on the ground and crying about it wouldn’t help anybody, and that was his main...well, sorta secondary goal at the moment. To find out where everyone was and help them.

Although based on what Jasper said, it might already be too late for that.

“Did you see anyone running away?” He asked. “Who survived?”

“I…” Jasper paused and slightly slowed her pace. “I do not know, My Diamond. I was spotted and hit with a projectile. It knocked me all the way back to my cave. You see, I was at the edge of the forest, witnessing the battle from afar at the time.” She revealed. “Once I got my bearings, the ship had disappeared and everything was on fire. I believe I was knocked out by the explosion.”

“How were you knocked out?” Steven muttered. “That’s caused by the brain hitting the skull for humans. Is there some weird Gem equivalent, or…?”

“I am not sure, My Diamond,” Jasper replied, although the question hadn’t been meant for her to answer. “I suppose there could be something like that. I am aware of what a brain is, and a Gemstone is the Gem equivalent. I do believe I hit the ground face first, so if we are going by what you said then it makes perfect sense that-”

“I don’t need a full explanation, it’s okay, Jasper,” Steven interjected. “Nevermind that for now. It’s not important.”

“If I may ask, what _is_ important, My Diamond? What else do you wish to know?”

“The survivors of that attack. As well as any more information you have on it.” Steven said. “When you woke up, did you see any bodies? Skeletons? Gems shards? Any signs that humans or Gems were there?”

“I...did not, My Diamond.” Jasper hesitated to say, which did not go unnoticed by Steven. “I did search the area somewhat, but I did not find any of what you just spoke of. Although I suppose this makes sense. The ship had a weapon that could completely vaporize any object, including humans and Gems. I saw more than a few get hit with it and simply cease to exist, My Diamond.”

Steven stopped dead where he was after this, and Jasper followed suit a second later. Even through his gas mask she could see the horrified expression on his face, and she may as well have said that everyone was dead and that she personally killed them.

“W-who?” He asked softly. “Who did you see die?”

“I...well…”

“TELL ME!” He thundered, before falling to his knees and placing his hands on the ground. He remained like that for a moment, on all fours and sobbing quietly, having failed to hold the tears back for any longer. Jasper stared at him stoically, wondering if she should respond or not, before Steven spoke up again, sounding like he was about to sob his eyes out again. “Please...Jasper...tell me. If someone I love is gone... then I have to know. I can’t live with the idea of knowing someone's dead but _not_ knowing who they are. So...tell me.” 

“...I saw five.” Jasper whispered. “The first was that human that hung out with the other group of humans.”

“You’re gonna have to be a little more specific…” Steven said pitifully. “That could be anyone.”

“Uh...they were wearing something on their head.”

“A hat?” Steven gasped, a flurry of images composed of different people flying into his mind. If they were wearing a hat, then that could be Yellowtail, Mr. Fryman, Kofi, if that hair net thing he wore could be counted as a hat, and basically anyone else, depending on what the weather had been like. “Who was it? Yellowtail? Kofi? Mr. Fryman? Con-”

“What? A hat? No, My Diamond, they weren’t wearing a hat.” Jasper said, shaking her head.

“But...but you said they were wearing something on their head.”

“Yes. But it wasn’t a hat, and I don’t know the name for it, My Diamond.” Jasper explained. “They were wearing it over their _eyes_. I don’t know what its purpose was, I suppose a choice of style, although I don’t understand what the point would be of putting two sheets of glass in front of one's face.”

“Oh, glasses,” Steven said casually, before freaking out again. “Wait! Glasses! Mayor Nanafua! Jasper, was the person with the glasses short, had a hair bun, and surrounded by Ruby guards? _Please say no.”_ He begged, despite knowing that that would mean the death of another.

“No...but they were surrounded by several other humans. I believe they had been riding in one of those human vehicles propelled with primitive liquid fuel, My Diamond.” Jasper said. “They were attacked by the ship's weapons, although two of them ran away.”

“Two of them ran...that means there were three... _the Cool kids.”_ Steven breathed, Lars' nickname for the trio finally coming in handy. “No…” He sobbed.  
“Glasses...that could only be...Buck.”

Steven fell to his knees again, panting like he was hyperventilating. Buck...one of his first human friends...all the times he had called him little man...all the drives he had taken Steven out for along with the rest of his friends...all the dreams he had about going to medical school...everything that Steven remembered about him...gone. Just like that. And _Jasper_ was the person who informed him of that.

Had it hurt? Did he even feel anything while it happened or did the attack give him an instantaneous death? 

Steven couldn’t think about it. Instead, he fell flat on his back and let the tears come, not even bothering to hold them back anymore. But they weren’t falling just for Buck, but for the other four that he knew he’d have to learn the fates of soon enough.

And he knew that if his reaction from just _one_ person was this big, then he might as well just give up now.

***

“Let’s see...eeny, meany, miny…. _you._ ”

With a jab, Mirror stuck their finger down and it landed flat on the piece of paper they were holding, hitting the image of one of the Gems from Little Homeworld. Based on what they had just observed, this Gem didn’t have _that_ much connection to Steven, but he would still be distraught by their deaths nonetheless. The perfect choice for the fourth and penultimate death Jasper would tell him about. A little cherry on top, if you will.

How fun.

“What are you doing?” A voice to their left said. Mirror looked and saw the Other Side standing there, glancing down at the paper in visible confusion. “Why do you have that?”

“Ah! Have you made a choice yet?” Mirror asked, ignoring their questions entirely. “Because it’s been _ten minutes_ , and if so, great! Well, great depending on which side you picked, but I’m sure you got the right one on your-”

“Actually, I’m still thinking it over. I just noticed you giggling to yourself and wanted to check it out.” The Other Side said, causing Mirror’s face to fall flat in disappointment. “So...what are you doing?”

“Oh, this? Just a little masterstroke I’m whipping up. You know, dragging the scene out longer before making my appearance, making Steven suffer just a _little_ bit more, and just...having fun.”

“Fun.” The Other Side repeated, as if hearing the word for the first time. “ _This_ is fun to you? You know, if you want me to join your side, you’re certainly not making it that appealing.”

“If you join my side, you’ll learn to have fun like this too.” Mirror beamed. “It’s a way of life. Other people’s suffering is amusing, that’s the plain truth. Why do humans laugh when they see someone fall flat on their face? I mean, it _hurt_ for them. That person was just injured. Yet, they still laugh despite knowing this full well. Why do you think that is?”

“...Is this going to end with you referencing another movie again? Because I swear, if you-”

“No, no, not doing any of that,” Mirror said. “But answer the question. Why is it funny to watch others get hurt?”

“I don’t know!” The Other Side exclaimed. “I’m not human. I wouldn’t know what it’s like to have a human sense of humor.”

“Ah, but you are still an expert in human _emotions_. Pinkie made you to be that way.” Mirror pointed out. “You know the human mind better than almost any living being. How to understand it. How to manipulate it. Every time you put a thought into Steven’s head, every time you change his mind, the amount of work you put into that action is astounding, even if it only takes a second.”

“I do?” The Other Side asked. “But I usually just yell at him. Or I invade his cerebral thinking process, switch a few neurons around, momentarily alter the chemistry of his brain, maybe kill a few cells to make him more open to suggestion then regenerate them later…” It shrugged. “All very standard stuff.”

Mirror chuckled at him. “Oh...you idiot. You idiot genius.” They praised. “I don’t know how to do _any_ of that. Heck, I hardly understood it. I’ve been busy working through Jasper’s mind you know, but not Steven’s. I don’t understand his. Human brains are so…” Mirror brought their arms up to their chest and shook them like they were having a seizure. “...complex! Annoying! So many fragile parts, so many things you have to be careful of! It’s a hassle just to get _inside_ his brain in the first place, much less manipulate it. I have to break so many rules of this place, have to break down so many walls, just to get in! And by that point, I haven’t the faintest clue what to do!”

They sighed and leaned backward on nothing.

“But you...you have it all down. You infiltrated his mind and you just broke down the process of what you do like to you were explaining how to toast a piece of _bread_ , and not how to _literally_ alter someone’s cerebral connection with their body! It’s amazing! It’s incredible! And that brings me to another point...another point of why I need you. You can be useful, as I said. I need something with your talent.”

“Some _thing?”_ The Other Side scoffed.

“Okay, some _one_ , but you get the idea!” Mirror said. “You could take over minds for me, controlling Gems like White Diamond herself. If you can make Steven do acts that he’d _never_ do normally, then taking over a Gem, or even _several_ Gems at once, should be no biggie. And I can help you. I have resources. People that can allow you to work your way up to your full, _ultimate_ potential! So…”

They held a hand out.

“What do you say? Not much left going for the...other side?” They chuckled. 

“No. Not yet.”

Mirror’s smile faded from their face and they drew back, scowling. “What? No? Even after that...even after I told you what you could become...a practical _god_ among Gems. Don't you get it?!” They shrieked. “Steven’s body...his pink power...combined with _your_ mental powers...effectively make you a fusion between Pink and White Diamond. The most powerful being in existence! More powerful than even me! Who would say no to so generous an offer?”

“Someone who isn’t an _idiot.”_ The Other Side said. “Listen up, you discount Mary Sue. You don’t think I see right through your bullshit? The most powerful being in the universe? Don’t make me laugh. You’d _never_ let me achieve that kind of strength. You’re not going to let me take over Steven’s body. If I was a guessing entity, and I am, I think you’re going to trap me in some sort of artificial Gemstone and then harness my mind powers for yourself. Keep this “crew” you keep talking about in line.”

Mirror laughed again, but very slowly, like they were having trouble keeping in a violent outburst. “Heh...hehe...don’t…”

“Don’t? Don’t what?” The Other Side asked. “What are you going to do? Erase me? Get rid of me and try to turn me into your personal slave?”

Mirror took a deep breath and turned away, staring into the middle distance. After a moment they looked skyward up at the crack, shining pink onto their face.

“You know what I hate most about being captain?” They asked.

“I don’t care-”

“It’s dealing with people like you.” They interjected. “The ones who think they have something against me. The ones who think they’re being clever. The ones who think I won’t get what I want simply because they’re resisting. The ones who…” They gulped and shook their head. “...the ones who hatch plans and believe I don’t know about them. Those...those are the people I simply abhor. So many stupid, weak, cowardly Gems. They walk up to me, and say, “you are no longer our Captain. We will no longer follow your orders. This ship is _ours_ now”.

Mirror sank and flopped to the ground, crossing their legs. “It’s pathetic. They say that over and over, as if repeating a lie will somehow make it true. As if merely _saying_ something is enough to ensure victory over me. But it doesn’t. It never does. It never has. And unless they start thinking, unless they think things out and actually have a lick of sense...it never will. Because their plans are stupid. _They_ are stupid. They storm the bridge. They attack. I shatter them with a wave of my hand. I reconstruct their Gems and shatter them again, this time in front of the whole crew. Then I bring them back for the third and final time, and throw them out into space.”

Mirror rolled over onto their back and lifted one of their arms, their hand outstretched and reaching for the sky.

“But that’s not the end…” They whispered. “I tell the crew the same thing. They will wander space forever, cold and alone. But they don’t. Because I always go to the same part of space when I throw someone out, and the idiots never notice. I throw them out into the path of a black hole a couple million miles away. Sure, it’s going to take a while… but they will eventually fall into its gravity well and be destroyed. Because I don’t _want_ them to drift forever, you see. I want them to die. I want their pathetic lives to end. And because shattering a Gem _no way_ ensures they’re dead, completely destroying it is the only way to be sure.”

A single tear ran down Mirror’s cheek, which could have been from sadness, anger, or some other undefined emotion. The Other Side was completely unable to tell.

“But no matter how many times I make an example...it never works.” Mirror continued. “More rebellions. More mutinies. More idiots clogging up my ship every day, thinking that eventually it could be theirs. But it’s not. It won’t. Even if they killed me, they could never be captain. The ship is primed to blow if my heartbeat ever goes to zero. They and everything they worked for will go out in a fireball large enough to take out an entire solar system, any remaining pieces probably sucked up and annihilated by that strange star due to the sudden lack of artificial gravity.”

“Strange star?”

“A quark star. Made out of strange matter. Similar to neutron stars...but technically still only theoretical within the fringes of human science.” Mirror explained. “But I’m not here to explain that. I’m still talking about the crew.” They sighed. “But they...I think I get why they do it. I understand. Gems are meant to be ruled you see. They love it. They enjoy it. They absolutely _adore_ serving under whatever commander they have. Even Blue and Yellow Diamond served under White, although they didn’t enjoy it nearly as much. It’s in their nature to follow the commands of another. So they got me wondering...why don’t they feel the same way about me?”

“Because you constantly murder them on what I’m assuming is a daily basis?” The Other Side guessed, the words coming out of only one corner of their mouth. 

“Close, but no.” Mirror disagreed. “It’s because they like serving other _Gems._ They have been taught, _brainwashed_ really, that organic life is inferior and useless. And _I_ am organic. Heavily modified, yes, but still organic. And while Gems can tolerate us fleshy things being around them, they’re not going to enjoy taking orders. And that’s the pattern. That’s what I saw. Every time a great member discovered I was human, they hatched a plot to take over the ship for themselves. It’s one of the reasons why I hardly meet up with anyone anymore, and why I’ve tried to make my appearance so godlike.” They revealed. “Because in their eyes, no organic could ever be anything close to godlike. The star suit, the crystal hair, the contact lenses...all just stuff I made up. I mean, the hair is real, a bit of an annoying side effect, but everything else is just for show. I wouldn’t be strutting around in that nonsense unless it was necessary. Sure, it looks cool, but...it makes me feel overzealous.”

“Oh, my god…” The Other Side groaned. “Just get to the damn point already. I don’t care about your choice of clothes! No one does!”

Mirror growled like a feral dog and turned to face it. “The point? Fine. The _point_ is that you should take my offer. The _point_ is that you’re right, I’m not going to turn you into any kind of being that could even _possibly_ threaten me, but you should do it anyway. The _point_ is that I could destroy you and Steven at any time. The _point_ is that yes, I am a Mary Sue in some ways, but I’m also the guy who doesn’t care about what others think of me. And the _point…”_ They stomped their foot down and caused the entire area to quake. “Is that there is nothing you can do to stop me. Either you can help me and live, or you can refuse and die. Either way, I get what I want. Either way, I get your powers, either by you helping me or by me stealing them before I erase you. There is no future in which you beat me. No future in which you win! Understand that already and accept it!”

“...”

“...”

“...I can’t.” The Other Side said. “Even though you may be correct in all of that...I will not just give in to you, even under threat of being erased. I was created to protect Steven. And while it is true that I have come to loathe this job, the only thing I loathe _more_ is the people that try to hurt him. Like _you_. So…” They held up a finger and flipped Mirror off. “You piss off back to whatever hole you crawled out of, and kill me if you like. I’ve been expecting this day for a while, and frankly, dying at the hands of you is much better than dying at the hands of Pinkie.”

“...”

“...”

“Fine,” Mirror said. “Then _die.”_ They then raised a hand and it glowed as bright as the sun, the energy of the mindscape flowing through it at the speed of thought. The Other Side took one last looked at Steven and sighed, who was still sobbing over the faked death of Buck. He wondered what would happen after this. Would this “Mirror” let him go? Show him the truth about what he and Pink Steven did before killing him? 

It was a definite possibility. But sadly, one he could not be around to witness.

“Goodbye,” Mirror said. “For what it's worth, I still don’t really want to kill you. But you are a gigantic pain in the ass, so...I’d just call this doing the universe a favor. Pun...not intended.”

Mirror’s hand then hummed and the Other Side braced for their end. They glanced at the ground and closed their eyes, unable to even look into Mirror’s one last time. Then something that sounded like a clap of thunder rang out, and it struck them.

They let out a terrible electronic scream at the sudden explosion of pain that sizzled across their entire form, sounding like an A.I. shrieking in agony combined with a gurgle a human might make after their neck had been slit. The Other Side’s body dissipated into nothing and the flakes of light that composed them vanished one by one, making the process feel longer than it should. Mirror watched with a scowl in their face as the being died, a death that was almost painful to watch. Finally, a beam of light shot up into the sky and disappeared into the crack, which shook slightly upon contact. The last ripples of luminescence faded into the floor, and popped like bubbles until they were all gone.

And then it was over. 

Mirror was left standing alone, and the mindscape suddenly changed into a different shade of pink, the same color as the Other Side, almost as if it was paying tribute to it. 

“Well... _shit.”_ They sighed, before materializing a chair, sitting down in it, and kicking their feet up. They looked down at Steven and let out a puff of air.

“Okay. Emerald, you’re up. My job here is done. Your first _real_ assignment...finish this up for me.”

“You’ll know what to do.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, the Other Side is dead. RIP to the original character. And "Buck" is dead as well. The next chapter will spend some time focusing on the deaths that "Jasper" witnessed, so expect plenty of tears from Steven concerning that. But...he is going to start noticing a few things. Maybe some hints on how this world isn't exactly what it seems.
> 
> Lots of fun.


	18. Lies

There were a lot of embarrassing positions Steven had been put in his life.

Being displayed like a zoo animal in the human zoo. Being put on trial before the Diamonds and being insulted about his appearance. Having to explain everything that sucked about his life to his therapist, including some things he’d never tell anyone else. And of course, running around naked during the whole Frybo crisis, which he still cringed at years later when a sense of dignity actually started to form.

But what was happening right now was definitely up there. He was being carried by Jasper, almost exactly like a child. She was holding him like a groom holding their bride, altogether he was hugging both himself _and_ her while crying uncontrollably, not even bothering to try and hold the tears back. Jasper was clearly uncomfortable with this, but didn’t say anything or verbally protest her Diamond’s wishes, despite how much she might have wanted to.

But in all honesty, Steven could care less about being embarrassed. Because over the span of an hour Jasper had revealed to him the five people that had died according to her, and he had spent about nineteen minutes crying about each one. One minute to explain, and nineteen to get sad about it. Then the cycle began again, and at one point he had to take his suit partially off to empty it of tears, which were grossly and uncomfortably pooling in the feet area of it. And they never ran out either. No matter how much he cried, no matter how many liters fell from his eyes, Steven couldn’t stop crying, even though he “ran out” earlier at the bunker. It was like he was constantly drinking water at the same time, but instead of down his throat, it just went straight up to his tear ducts.

And the five…

The first had been Buck, of course, hit while driving with Sour Cream and Jenny. Even if his death had been “quick” as Jasper put it, that didn’t make it any less worse, and Steven eventually took to laying down on his back, replaying all the memories he had spent with the teenager through his mind.

But after nineteen minutes were up, he straightened himself and sat down on a nearby rock, demanding to know who else died.

“Well, My Diamond.” Jasper had said, emotionless and uncaring. “After it hit your human friend, it attacked that building that stored all the pieces of paper.”

The library, Steven guessed, which Jasper confirmed with a quick description of the building. He then asked the dreaded question, and Jasper said that it had been a Lapis Lazuli. Not _the_ Lapis Lazuli, thank god, but _a_ Lapis. One with her Gem located on her shoulder. She had been exiting the building to see what was going on after Buck’s car had crashed into the side of the structure, and was immediately fired upon. Steven trembled and he quickly recalled who the Quartz was talking about, the Lapis that he and _Lapis_ had convinced to come back to Little Homeworld. A new memory suddenly, conveniently, and suspiciously popped into his head after that, one of him visiting the town and seeing her, and then him _telling_ her to go visit the library that day, to get a better idea of what human culture was all about. It took a bit of discussion, but she had agreed in the end.

And then Steven froze and grasped the side of his head and screamed, both in anguish and rage, quickly placing the blame on himself for her death. Jasper stood stoically, realizing that It’d be best if she didn’t interrupt. Steven continued his screaming/sobbing fit for a few minutes, before he calmed down with some throaty gasps. Afterwards, he told Jasper what she had said to her, how it was _his_ fault that she was at the library that day, and asked if she thought that he was completely to blame. Jasper visibly flinched at the question, and for the first time since she started following him, didn’t address him as “my Diamond”. Instead, she explained that the shoulder Lapis was likely going to die anyway, as the flying Gems were among the first that the ship targeted. Steven paused and then slowly nodded his head after this, using every bit of willpower he had left to force himself to not scream again.

Although that willpower didn’t stop the crying, of course. And despite Jasper telling him that “eh, she was a goner anyway”, (yes, those were her exact words before he requested that she expand on that), he still felt guilty about it. Maybe she could have lived longer after all. Even if they were targeting flying Gems, she might have still managed to get away. She could have put up a water screen, or flown straight up in front of the sun where it would be harder to see her, or…

That was where Steven stopped himself. Because she was dead. She would always be dead. There was no point in contemplating how things could have gone differently, because they never would.

So after a few more minutes of crying, Jasper asked if her Diamond was okay and if he wanted to know who else had died. Steven didn’t answer with speech but with a slow nod, and the Quartz responded in kind.

This time it was another human. Not anybody he knew, or was even remotely associated with though. Just a tourist. A lone tourist from far away, who had come to gape and stare in awe at Little Homeworld and the Gems that lived there. Then blasted and disintegrated before they could even react. But despite Jasper’s expectations that her Diamond would pass this off with an “eh” and ask to know who the next one was, Steven balled his fists up and slammed on it on the rock he was sitting on, before reeling back and holding it as it throbbed in pain. Jasper was at his side in less than a second, frantically demanding to know if he required some sort of medical attention.

Steven only responded by glaring at her and asking another question, the exact same one he had asked earlier: “Was it my fault?”

“What do you mean, my Diamond?” Jasper asked, wearing an expression of pure confusion on her face. “How could their death be _your_ fault? They simply came to look at the town and Little Homeworld, My Diamond! Of their own choice! They merely wanted to take pictures of the structures that you created and...oh, I get it.”

Jasper did indeed get it. Just like with the Lazuli, Steven felt guilt over this death, although for different reasons. Even though his jurisdiction and blame in the matter were unclear at best in Jasper’s eyes, Steven blamed himself because _he_ had built Little Homeworld, _he_ put up the signs in neighboring towns and cities telling people to come and visit, and _he_ convinced that tourist with those signs to drive into Beach City and get cut down by that ship.

Obviously, he couldn’t have known this would happen, so Steven was only partially at fault if anything, but the reason for their death and it being a direct follow up to why the Lazuli died made him turn into a self-guilt carousel, going in circles, around and around and never getting anywhere. Once the tears came back, Jasper facepalmed and patted him on the back gently and awkwardly, doing the same thing she had seen other humans do when they were trying to comfort someone. It hadn’t helped with the tears, but it _did_ provide Steven with a minor sense of safety that someone was there for him, even if it was...her.

And so that went on for nineteen more minutes, and then it was time for the fourth mystery death, making the whole situation slowly start to resemble a game show of “who’s behind the curtain”. But this point, Steven realized that it’d be better and they would make more progress if they continued to move as Jasper told him who died. But there was no way in a million days that he’d make any progress while crying like that, so he demanded that she carry him. Jasper obeyed begrudgingly, starting to get somewhat irked by Steven’s odd requests. She started by slinging him over her shoulder, but after a request that she not do that, she opted to carry him bridal style, only there was no aisle to walk down and the guests were hundreds of dead and burning trees.

So the fourth one. This time it was someone he actually knew well. Little Larimar, the Gem he would always remember as the one who liked listening to human screams. Which unfortunately had been a direct cause of her death. She had been on the boardwalk at the time, locking up several of the rides as Funland was due to close soon. Then she heard the screams, the ones she had loved all her life. Only these weren’t the screams that she adored. They were screams of terror, ones that nobody should be forced to make, and ones that would instantly alert anyone that something wasn’t right. Seeing no reason as to why people would be screaming like that other than some faint smoke in the distance (after Jasper quickly reminded Steven that the ship was again, completely invisible), she ran over to the source and saw a crowd of Gems and humans running all in directions, clueless as to where the danger was coming from but knowing that it was there nonetheless. And then she got hit. Instant vaporization. Jasper had seen her outline burn bright, then a flash of light...and then she was gone like the rest. Not even making a single sound.

And once Jasper’s rambling explanation had ended, Steven had surprisingly remained silent for a minute, displaying the same reaction that the Quartz had expected him to show at the news of the tourist’s death, emotionless and uncaring. She was about to query if he was okay, but Steven then buried his mask-covered face into her arm, causing her to groan silently out of how touchy he was becoming. 

Steven’s crying was silent this time, ironically without any of the high-pitched wails and screams that had followed the previous ones. Jasper wasn’t sure if this was some sort of new coping mechanism, or if his voice had just died out (which would, honestly, be a gift. Her Diamond was frankly becoming a nuisance to attend to), but either way he shed tears without making a sound. It was creepy, like he was mute or something. After a few minutes of it, Jasper wasn’t sure if she preferred this over him hugging that dumb rock he was sitting on and slamming his hands down on it, because at least that was _predictable_. But now she didn’t know if he was going to stop suddenly and hug her, or just casually ask to know the identity of the next person who died.

And the latter is exactly what happened next. Like a flip had been switched, his tears ceased and he _casually asked_ to know who died next. Jasper bit her lip this time, honestly not wanting to tell him. She knew that he was good friends with the previous Gems and humans (excluding one), but the fifth person she saw die was definitely more than that. Considering how often she had seen him hanging around them…

But her Diamond had asked, and it was her duty to answer. Even if the only reason she was still doing this anymore was because of the guilt she felt for...that. 

Also the fact that she technically didn’t exist and was only created to feel all those things, but we won’t get into _that_.

“The fifth person…” She has started. “Was the Bismuth you seem to be close with my Diamond. The one that operates the forge in that town. I saw her exiting it to see what was-”

And that was as far as she got before Steven started screaming and crying like it was the end of the world. (Which it probably was, considering.) Jasper merely stopped where she was as he let it all out, this shot not caring that he was crying anymore but getting the idea that it would be better for everyone if they took a break, especially considering exactly what she was taking him _towards_. 

But just like the rest, Steven had stopped after nineteen minutes like he was on a timer, asking Jasper to keep going forward in the most trembling and saddened voice she had ever heard from him (or anyone really). She sighed and obeyed, moving forward and shifting her arms so that he was more comfortable. If Steven was grateful for this he didn’t show it, instead continuing to silently cry about it instead of wailing and screaming at the top of his lungs.

And now...they were here. Jasper carried him as she slowly traversed across the burned landscape, while Steven shed more tears as he thought about all the memories he had with the four who had died that he knew. Bismuth teaching him how to make metal weapons at the forge…Larimar excitedly telling him about all the friends she made at Funland...the Lazuli thanking him for everything _he_ did for her...and all the drives he took with Buck and the cool kids, all of whom are now nothing but memories. If Jasper was to be believed, there weren’t even any bodies left behind, and obviously, any material possessions that they could be remembered by were annihilated when the town and Little Homeworld were destroyed.

He wasn’t even sure if he _wanted_ to keep thinking about him like that. After all, Jasper couldn’t, or _wouldn’t_ , carry him forever. He already saw the way she was looking at him right now. Earlier, when Steven first started giving orders, the Quartz was overjoyed like a child receiving presents on Christmas morning. But now she was just annoyed with him. And not only because of all the crying and the hugging and forcing her to carry him like a baby, but because of how he was acting. Namely, the crying and the hugging and the forcing her to carry him like a baby. Because that was _not_ how a Diamond should be acting. Jasper wanted a strong and capable leader to follow, not someone like _this_. He could see the disappointment and regret in her eyes, but he still didn’t know if she was going to drop him and walk away, or just keep following his orders, albeit with an extremely irritated demeanor. 

And at this point, he didn’t know which was worse.

But they moved on, ignoring all obstacles in their path, of which there weren’t many. Eventually, Jasper stopped at the foot of a mountain, all of it on fire like a giant flaming meteorite that fell to Earth. Noticing how Jasper had ceased her movement, he shook his eyes free of tears and spoke up.

“W-why have we stopped?” He asked. “Is this it?”

“Almost,” Jasper said. “The person who made me do _that_...is at the summit. I think when we get there, you’ll understand, My Diamond.”

“Understand what?”

Jasper didn’t answer and simply entered the mountain path, and Steven felt the gravity shift as they started moving at an upwards angle. The Quartz was still walking at about five mph, so he took this chance to try and stick another conversation, desperate to get his mind off the deaths of his friends.

“Jasper.” He said softly. “Where did the ship go? I know it was invisible, but did you hear it leave? Or have an idea of where it might have gone?”

“I don't, My Diamond.” She replied. “The ship made no sound as it traveled. The only sign of its existence was the beams of light it’s weapons put out. But other then that, it was undetectable by every sense.”

“Then how do you know it was a ship?” Steven asked. “What if it was some type of invisible flying Gem that was holding a weapon?”

“Could have been, My Diamond,” Jasper said. “But I do believe it was a ship. When other Gems tried to attack it, I heard a clanging sound like metal. At that point, it was safe to assume that it was indeed a ship and not some type of Gem. I don’t believe this attack did any damage, however. If anything, it only persuaded whoever was aboard to hurry up with what they were doing.”

“You already said that.” Steven sighed. “But how is the town so destroyed? Every building I saw is practically nonexistent. Even my car only had a metal frame left. What weapons did it shoot _them_ with?”

“I believe it was some sort of bomb,” Jasper said. “I saw large white spheres suddenly drop from the sky where I believed the ship was, and blow up on contact with anything. They destroyed the town by flying back and forth and dropping more bombs. Luckily, the attack had already been going on long enough that I didn’t see any humans or Gems outside get blown up by them, My Diamond, but…” She huffed. “...I can’t speak for any that might have still been located inside.”

“I-I see.” Steven gulped. “Okay. What about _me?_ I don’t remember any of that happening. I woke up and I was on the beach outside my house, which was also destroyed. Did you see me in the middle of that mess? Maybe trying to help people? Stopping the ship?”

“Come to think of it, I did not, My Diamond,” Jasper said. “But since you woke up outside your house, I believe it is possible that that structure was the first the ship blew up, as I spotted smoke coming from that direction before anywhere else. My theory is that you were simply blown away from it by the blast and knocked out. My Diamond.”

“I...guess that makes sense,” Steven mumbled. “But what about Garnet, Amethyst, and Pearl? Did you see them?”

“I believe I saw the purple runt-”

“ _Amethyst.”_ Steven corrected. “Now that I’m your...Diamond, I’d like you to call her by her actual name.”

Jasper grinned. “Nice to see you actually _acting_ like one for the first time…” She breathed. “Very well, My Diamond. I saw _Amethyst_ in Little Homeworld when the attack began, snacking on some kind of human confectionary food. She ran out of sight when the ship started blasting people, and that’s all I know.”

“What about the other two?”

“I did not see the Pearl or the war mach…... _Garnet_ , My Diamond, so it is possible that they were with you at the time. If you did not see them, then it is likely that they were vaporized in the destruction of your home.”

“I’m not going to believe that,” Steven muttered. “They had to be somewhere else. Besides, I don’t remember them being there when-”

“My Diamond, may I point out that you have no recollection of the event that led to all of this. You told me that yourself.” Jasper said. “They could have very likely been with you. The fact that you don’t recall them as such is completely irrelevant.”

“W-well, they’re not dead!” Steven pouted. “They’ve been through the Gem war. They fought for thousands of years. Something like _this_ isn’t going to be what gets them. I refuse to believe it.”

“Out of an assumption, or simply because you don’t want to, My Diamond?” Jasper asked. “And you _should_ remember that I fought in that war as well. And I can say with certainty that I would not have taken that ship on, even if I had wanted to. An invisible and silent enemy, who can kill with a single shot. A welcome challenge, but also a suicide one. It would not be wise, and I would never have done it.”

“I honestly find that hard to believe,” Steven said. “You’re not one to just back down from _any_ fight. Even a fight like that.”

“Perhaps, My Diamond.” Jasper agreed. “But I’m also smart enough to know when _not_ to engage so I can fight another day. I may love war, and love tearing enemies to pieces, but there are some battles that a lone Gem just can’t win. Not even me.”

Steven reared his head back in surprise, feeling an emotion other than sadness and despair for the first time in almost an hour and a half. “Okay. It’s...odd. To hear you talk like that. Are you...really the same Jasper that I fight with every now and then?”

“What do _you_ think, My Diamond?”

“...”

“...”

“I don’t know,” Steven said, casting a suspicious glance at her. “But moving on. Did you see my friend Connie?”

“You mean your little pet human?”

Steven growled. “She’s _not_ a pet you…” He started, before stopping short as the words died in his throat.

“Is something wrong, My Diamond?” Jasper asked, noticing his sudden silence. “Are you choking on something and require my assistance?”

“No…” Steven said. “It’s just...I got the oddest sense of deja-vu. I don’t think you ever called Connie that before...but for some reason, I remember that you did? When did I ever tell you about Connie during our fights? You never called her a pet in the few instances when you met her before, so when…?”

“What’s deja-vu, My Diamond?”

“It’s when you get the feeling that you’re doing the same thing twice,” Steven said. “It’s hard to describe, but...have you ever done something, and then got an odd feeling that you did the _exact_ same thing at an earlier date?”

“Yes, My Diamond,” Jasper said. “Every time you come to brawl with me during one of our sessions.”

“No, it’s not…” Steven started. “It’s not like that. It's not like a direct memory. It’s just a feeling. It’s...it’s complicated. Like I said.”

“My Diamond, I can assure you that I haven’t called “Connie” your pet before,” Jasper said. “I only called her that just now because I recalled how you once referred to a human standing next to you as Connie, and then I remembered how she always seemed to be standing close to you whenever I saw her. Therefore I assumed she was like your pet, clinging to you and obeying your every command.”

“I didn’t really need an explanation. I think I could figure _that_ out on my own.” Steven said dryly. “But did you see her at all?”

“No.”

“No?”

“No.”

“Fantastic.” Steven moaned. “Best case scenario, she’s out of town at the moment looking at colleges. Worst case, she was in the house with me.” He grit his teeth together. “Dang it! I should have searched the ruins of that thing! At least then I’d know if they were there or not!”

“And dead or not.” Jasper quipped. “But if you want to, My Diamond, we can go back and-”

“No.” Steven refused. “No, we’ve already gone too far, and I think we’re about halfway up the mountain at this point. I don’t want to turn back now.”

Jasper frowned, almost looking like she was disappointed. She tightened her grip on him and started walking just the smallest bit slower, her mind clouded with implanted and fake thoughts.

“What about Peridot and Lapis?” Steven continued. “You said you saw Bismuth exit her forge, but what about those two? Was Lapis one of the flying Gems targeted by the ship?”

“Yes,” Jasper said. “But she flew straight up and tried to make herself a harder target by floating directly in front of the sun. She then went into the clouds to the northeast and disappeared. I don’t believe she came back. It seems she abandoned you all, My Diamond.”

“Or maybe she was just leaving to get help somewhere else,” Steven grumbled. 

“Then where?” Jasper queried. “The human military? I don’t think they would have been able to do much against that ship.”

“You’d be surprised. When it comes to finding different ways of killing each other, humans can come up with some pretty crazy stuff. If they wanted to they could have just sent in a plane carrying a bomb that would have wiped out all of Beach City, Little Homeworld, and basically anything a dozen miles from here.” Steven explained. “And those are just the small nukes.”

Jasper huffed. “I find that hard to believe, My Diamond.” She commented. “But that is what happened to that Lapis. She flew off, and I’m betting that no one has seen her since.”

“Well...at least that means she’s alive,” Steven whispered.

“That is only a possibility, My Diamond,” Jasper said. “She could have flown into another ship. After all, what’s happening here could be happening everywhere on Earth. Don’t you think that if your town had been the only one attacked, then your “human military” or other humans wanting to assist you would have been here by now? I don’t know much about human culture, but I’m sure they don’t take too kindly when an unknown enemy attacks one of their own.”

“I...um…” Steven started, only just now considering that possibility. And he was shocked that it was the first, considering that it was a _very_ good point. Even if nobody had escaped or sent out a distress call for help, the neighboring cities and towns should have at least seen the smoke column rising into the sky. Considering how much fire there was, it should be visible from dozens of miles away, at the very least. Not to mention all the ash itself, which should be currently blanketing everything from here to empire city…

...So was the rest of the world _really_ under attack like this? That would suggest that whatever this was planned months if even years in advance, considering how fast they would need to strike before humanity prepared a proper counterattack, but even then it didn’t make much sense. Why would they attack the entire Earth? And come to think of it, if they were angry at him, why would they just leave him on the beach like that in plain view instead of killing him? If Jasper’s theory had been correct that he was thrown away by the blast, then they had to have seen him, right?

Right?

Unless...they _didn’t_ care about him, the entire Earth was indeed under assault, and Beach City and Little Homeworld were just two more targets on the list?

Steven shuddered as he thought of this, as it was a much more terrifying possibility than any of his earlier assumptions. All of Beach city was destroyed in only ten minutes...and this was likely only a smaller ship if there was indeed a larger invasion force. If that was truly the case, then what kind of weapons did they use for the _big_ cities? The Gem equivalent of nukes? How-

‘Wait, that doesn’t make sense either.’ Steven thought. ‘If they didn’t care about me and really wanted to destroy all life on Earth, then they would have grabbed a super injector like Spinel had but instead plant it somewhere remote and nigh-impossible to reach so we couldn’t stop it. They could have easily wiped out humanity _and_ all life on Earth that way. Then they could just swoop in here and wipe out the remaining Gems with ease. Huh.’ He gulped. ‘Okay, it’s actually pretty disturbing thinking about just how easily Earth could be destroyed at almost any moment. God forbid someone succeeds one day...which they might have already.’ Steven grimaced and felt the tears coming back, but he shook them off and continued to think, trying to search for an explanation that made _some_ sense.

‘Hold on, what about the Diamonds? And the warp pads?’ He thought. ‘If Beach City and the entire Earth was under attack, then shouldn’t somebody have warped to Homeworld or at least another colony so they could help us out? The Diamonds do have some Gem weapons left after all...I did let them keep a few in a secret armory a couple hundred miles below Homeworld’s surface, in case something like this ever happened and there was no way to talk it out. I thought we’d never have to use them, but now…’ Steven looked around at the burning mountain, the various crackling and popping sounds coming from the fire seeming to say the answer for him. ‘...Yeah. That.’

Steven then shifted in Jasper’s arms and clung to her elbow like a nervous pet, much to her visible discomfort. His face once again twisted into one of suspicion as he spotted her reaction, a new thought coming to mind.

‘And then there’s her. What is up with her?’ He pondered. ‘When I first found Jasper, she was sobbing and just a mess. It was a state I’ve never even _dreamed_ of seeing her in. But she didn’t even care that I did. Whatever happened...whatever “he” made her do...turned her into that. But once I offered to be her Diamond, which she accepted like no one’s business, she did a complete turnaround! No sign that she had been wailing and screaming like a baby in their crib just a few minutes ago! And now...and _now…’_ Steven bit his lip. ‘...She’s annoyed with me for giving her weird orders. Practically back to her old self. It’s like she’s being given orders by someone else or...no. No, that’s not it. It’s more like she’s a robot with pre-programmed settings, and I’m the remote that changes those settings. And each time I give an order...me, or _someone else_ , is flipping the switch.’

Steven then sneakily looked Jasper up and down, trying to make sure that she didn’t notice. He wasn’t exactly sure what he was looking for. Anything out of the ordinary he supposed. But Jasper was completely normal in appearance, and any evidence that she wasn’t _his_ Jasper, or being mind-controlled, or anything like that, was nonexistent. 

‘Hmmm…’ He hummed. ‘Nothing. Although I’m not sure what I expected to find. Just because she’s acting weird doesn’t mean she’s some kind of clone. She might still be in shock from being forced to do…whatever it is she did. Still though...maybe I should test something out.’

“Jasper.” He said blankly, causing them Quartz to sigh.

“Yes, My Diamond?”

“Do you remember?” Steven asked.

“Remember what?”

“You know...that time we fought and you had to bandage me up afterward.” He iterated. “You remember that, right? You hit me a little too hard, knocked me out, and when I woke up you were bandaging my head with some leaves because you thought it was hurt badly. You can recall that, right?”

For a brief moment, it looked like Jasper was about to start panicking, but she quickly calmed herself and her expression reverted back to it’s old and annoyed self.

“Yes, My Diamond.” She said. “I remember. I knew that you were knocked out and injured because you didn’t respond to my kicks when I tried to wake you up, so I wrapped those leaves around because I wasn’t sure what else to do.”

“Yeah…” Steven said, his eyes narrowing. “Why _did_ you do that, by the way? When I asked back then, you just told me to get lost and walked away. And then I had to deal with that concussion. So...why?”

“...”

“Jasper, as your Diamond I am ordering you to tell me.”

“B-because I didn’t want to have to deal with your friends.” The Quartz stuttered. “If they found out I hurt you like that, they would have come for me, and I didn’t want to fight them because I hurt you. But if they knew I tried to help you afterward, I thought they’d leave me alone.”

“I bet they would…” Steven mumbled, before gritting his teeth again. ‘Well, that settles it.’ He thought. ‘Someone is definitely controlling her, or this is just a copy. That whole leaf and head injury...yeah. Never happened. I thought she would pretend to remember it, and that proves that whoever is behind this doesn’t know my full history with her, or at least how the sessions went. If they _did_ , she’d just claim it never happened. Although…’

Steven looked around again at the mountain and the fire, which for some reason now looked more... _artificial_ than before.

‘...If _Jasper’s_ being controlled or a fake, does that mean _all_ of this is fake?’ He pondered. ‘Because that stuff I mentioned earlier...the human military and nobody else even showing up, nobody being in the shelter, me surviving for so long despite all the smoke inhalation and stuff...none of it made sense, _unless_ none of this is real and I’m just...dreaming it or hallucinating it or...or…’ Steven’s expression suddenly darkened. ‘...Or I’m just seeing what someone _wants_ me to see. For whatever reason, they’ve trapped me here, erased my memories, created an environment full of lies, and now seem to be leading me on to...this.’

Steven glanced up at Jasper, whose face hadn’t moved a muscle since she last stopped talking. It was almost like looking at a statue. No flinches, no tics, no nothing.

No _emotion_. 

‘If this is true…’ He thought. ‘...Then that means I have no reason to cry anymore. No one is dead. Beach City is fine. Little Homeworld is fine. The Temple is fine. And I’m betting everything else is too. At least...hopefully. If someone has actually infiltrated my brain and is making me witness all of this, then they probably kidnapped me or tied me up so I couldn’t escape in case I snapped out of it. Which only raises further questions, but whatever.’

‘This is the best-case scenario.’ He continued. ‘And frankly, it’s the one that makes the most sense, now that I think about it. Too much has happened in the past few hours that wouldn’t make _any_ kind of sense in the real world, but would in a fake one. Of course, this could all just be wishful thinking, but for now...I think it’s a definite probability.’

“...Jasper, how much longer until we get to the top of the mountain and the guy who forced you to do “that”?” He asked, figuring that the guy who “made” Jasper do something was also the person behind this.

“A minute or so, My Diamond.” She said. “And while you may freak out at first, trust me, I will explain. You’ll understand.”

“You already said that, just like a bunch of other things...” Steven whispered. “But only a minute? Then I want you to tell me about them. Who are they? What do they look like? Why did they force you to do that?”

“They told me not to tell you, My Diamond,” Jasper said. “And may I reminded you that I still follow-”

“Their orders because you’re afraid of them, yes, I know,” Steven said. “Although, Jasper, I’ve been wondering if that’s the real reason.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean...I think that all the crying you did earlier wasn’t real.” Steven said. “Sure, you might have actually been sad, but I think for different reasons.”

“And what reasons would that be?”

“That you had no one left to serve,” Steven said. “That whoever gave you those orders vanished, and because there wasn’t anyone left to tell you what to do, something you claim you were _created_ for, you got sad and started crying about it, since I’m betting that it didn’t last long. And honestly, I’d be devastated if that were true.”

“How so?”

“Because I wanted to help you, Jasper,” Steven said, not realizing that she had suddenly come to a stop. “I’ve always tried to help people, no matter what they did to me. Lapis. Peridot. The Cluster. The corrupted Gems. The Diamonds. Bluebird. The two Lapis’ we came across. Cactus me.” He took a deep breath. “You. And maybe...I was thinking...that this is helping you. That following orders like this...was this why you perked up almost immediately after I gave you that offer. Why you took it so quickly. Because that’s been most of your life, right?” He asked rhetorically. “Following orders. Serving someone. You served Pink Diamond, then Yellow, then Malachite, then yourself, and now you’re serving me. Pink Diamond again. But I hate that, even if those orders are coming from me. I hate the idea that you were forced to follow orders like that with no real free will of your own.”

“You-!” Jasper started, before pouting and glaring at him. “My Diamond, with all due respect, I was not some slave. I had free will. And with that free will, I chose to serve Pink Diamond, and then, yes, Yellow, Malachite, myself, and now you. I could have refused those things at any time. But I did not because I knew that I was doing what was best for the Gem empire.”

“But there’s another thing,” Steven said sadly. “You were brainwashed. Made into thinking that the Diamonds were perfect beings, exempt from flaws. They’re...not.” He said bluntly. “Heck, they're probably some of the most “flawed” Gems in existence. Yellow’s default emotion was anger. Blue constantly made everyone sad with her aura. White basically turned herself into a dictator with a self-appointed god complex. And Pink...my mother...well, there’s not enough time in the day for that.” Steven sighed.

“...If all of this is true…” Jasper said slyly. “Then why should I be following your orders, _My Diamond?_ If the Diamonds are truly flawed, then I shouldn’t be serving them, because then that would mean I’m _better_ than them. And I refuse to serve a Gem that is below me.”

“And yet you’re still serving me,” Steven said. “Carrying me like this. And, Jasper...like I was saying...it makes me sad. That I wanted to help you. Wanted to get rid of your brainwashing and show you that you can make your own life without having to depend on the orders of another. But seeing you like this...going back to your old ways...no matter who it is you’re listening to...it hurts me.”

“To be honest, you have no one but yourself to blame for that, _Steven.”_ Jasper beamed. “And what were you even saying earlier? Something about how you’d be devastated if this was the truth? I think I need you to expand on that if you want to start making _any_ sort of sense.”

“I wasn’t planning on stopping,” Steven said. “I’ve been watching you. Watching how you act when I talk to you. How you respond when I give you “orders.” All that. And...what it means...is that my plan for helping you will never work.” He sighed. “I didn’t know how long I watched you cry like that. But it was long enough that in-between finding you and making my decision to get you out, I managed to come up with a plan. Despite everything...despite all the fire and horror we were witnessing...I came up with a perfect plan to help you. Because it was like I told you. I want to help people, and you were the only one there. I didn’t know why you were crying, but I was going to find out, and I was going to get you through it. And I thought I could help you by taking charge. Being your Diamond. Giving you what _you_ considered a “purpose” again.”

“Hold on, so this whole thing was just-”

“But...when you stood up...when you followed those orders with almost no hint of delay...I regretted it almost immediately.” Steven explained. “I realized that I didn’t want that. I didn’t want to help you if it meant you had to follow orders again. But I couldn’t stop. I couldn’t just say no now that you had accepted the offer, so I went along with it. But I still came up with something else. A new plan, in the few minutes, when you weren’t carrying me but rather when we were walking side by side.” He revealed. “One that showed you that following orders like this is wrong. One that would make both you _and me_ happy by the end of this, even if the world was on fire. Even if there was no one else. Because if there’s _anyone_ in this universe I want to save...it’s you, Jasper.

“...Okay.” The Quartz said. “But I don’t-”

“However…” Steven continued, perfectly content to ramble on and on. “When you described the “deaths” of my friends to me, I noticed something. You didn’t care. You flinched because of my sudden screams, _not_ because of their deaths. The look in your eyes...it was indifferent. And that horrified me. To think that you could graphically describe how they were all disintegrated _in detail_ and not even try to console me when I cried about it. It made me realize that you don’t care about feelings. You don’t care about how you do something, as long as it’s completed in the end. You don’t care about any of that. The person that gave you orders...that _forced_ you to do it...you must have been overjoyed to finally receive them. But then when they left, you cried about it. And now I’m here...and now you serve me...like a slave. A puppet.” He grimaced. “And all that... as I told you...devastates me. To think that you might be outside the realm of help. It’s just...heartbreaking for me to think that you can’t change.”

“Yeah?” Jasper said. “Well, here’s the thing, Universe. You’re right. I’m outside of your help because I don’t _want_ it. I don’t want to be different. I don’t want to stop following orders. I don’t want to stop any of this! You think-”

“At least...I _would_ be sad...if any of that were true. If you...were really her.”

“...”

“...”

“...What? What are you talking about?” The Quartz asked. “Why-”

“You know, you did a pretty good job,” Steven interjected, praying that he was right about this. “You got her voice down, her appearance down, even her personality. Well, somewhat. But you did a good job. You nailed Jasper. Although copying her like this...considering how predictable her personality is...I don’t think it’d be that hard.”

“Predictable?!”

“Predictable. There’s really no other way to put it.” Steven repeated. “It’s like I was just talking about. You follow orders because that’s your life. You fight because that’s your life. You’re pretty one track when it comes to personality.” He sighed. “I don’t know why I'm even still talking to you. It’s not like the real Jasper is hearing it.”

“Not real?!” Jasper exclaimed. “Then what am I to you, if not real?”

“Created. Artificial.” Steven said. “Just like everything else. I thought it was odd you know. Earlier, everywhere I looked, there was always something that was...off. Me still being alive despite all the smoke and heat. Me not having powers despite not even feeling like I’ve been rejuvenated, a mystery that I completely forgot was a thing until now. Nobody from other towns showing up. Even if your theory that the rest of the Earth was attacked was true, somebody still would have come here asking for help or looking for survivors, considering that _those_ survivors are the only ones who know anything about aliens and stuff.” He sighed and forced his way out of Jasper’s arm, slowly walking away from her and gazing down at the burning landscape.

“Nobody being in the shelter. Everything being on fire, even the stuff that should be burning like the asphalt and sidewalk and stuff. The _Temple_ only looked like it was demolished instead of annihilated like everything else, despite the fact that it would be that ship's biggest target if they didn’t want any resistance!”

Steven huffed and turned back towards the Quartz. “I didn’t believe it at first, because it seemed too good to be true.” He said. “This all looked so real... _felt_ so real. The heat, the smoke, the staircase, and the fear...which lasted much longer than it should have. But when I looked closer, I saw all the flaws and mistakes you made while forming all of this.” He shook his head. “Nothing can be perfect, and the imperfections that you created were more than enough for me to see the truth.”

Steven pointed an accusing finger at Jasper and scowled. “You faked it all. I don’t know why, and maybe it’s for a better reason than I can think of. But in the end, you failed. I don’t even know why I’m still wearing this!” Steven then grabbed his mask and tired it off, before throwing it as hard as he could off the mountain. It disappeared into a cloud of smoke and smashed against the rocks below, the sound ringing in Steven’s ears. He took in the tainted air around him, the ash burning the back of his throat and the roof of his mouth. 

Steven closed his eyes and clenched his fists together, doing his best to ignore the pain. “It’s not real.” He whispered. “It’s all fake. The pain is fake. The ash is fake. The fire is fake. The heat is fake. It can’t hurt you anymore. Nothing here can hurt you. Not anymore. Just...stop.”

And a moment later, after his intense concentration and dozens of whispers to himself that none of it was real, that all of it was fabricated with the evidence for this fact flowing through his mind...the pain…

The pain finally disappeared.

He opened his eyes and stared up at Jasper, wiping away the tears that had formed. 

“The dream is over.” He said. “You failed.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And Steven has finally figured out the truth. Well, only part of it. But this will lead to him learning more and more about what's been happening in reality in the next chapter, which will not be a fun experience. Especially not with the person who's been controlling Jasper the whole time taking charge...but that's really all I have to say about this chapter, so for now, until next time.


	19. Accursed

Jasper stood stoically for a moment after this dramatic proclamation, staring Steven down. And then she did the last thing he expected.

She giggled. Which then turned into a chuckle. Which then escalated into a full-blown laughing fit, like he had just told the most hilarious joke on Earth. Steven tilted his head at the display, but remained ready nonetheless in case whoever was in control of Jasper decided to make her attack him. He had assumed they were a sore loser, and even if this reaction didn’t suggest this, it could easily be a ruse to just get him to lower his guard.

A minute or so later, Jasper calmed down and smirked at him, breathing heavily. 

“Yeah...but I can’t really be blamed for that.” She said, taking on a casual tone that Steven never thought he would hear from that voice. “I didn’t make this mess after all. The others did. I’m just overseeing it until the end.”

Steven sucked in a breath as his fists clenched up. “So it’s true.” He said. “This is all fake. Just like I suspected.”

“Yeah…” The Quartz said, putting her hands on her hips. “It is. Frankly, after watching you like that, I’m surprised you didn’t figure it out sooner. But I guess your explanation made sense. Your town is burning, your friends could all be dead...all of it being an illusion is too good to be true, right?”

“...Right.” Steven mumbled, shooting her a glare. “So...before I ask who you are, and why all this is happening...I gotta know. What were you planning? What was “Jasper” going to show me? What did she do and “who” made her do it?”

“First off, “I” didn’t do any of that. It was someone else, I only interrupted.” Jasper said. “But as for what was planned...well, at the top of the mountain, you would have found piles and piles of bodies and Gem shards of all the humans and Gems in the town. Long dead, of course. Jasper would have revealed she did it, and then the person who made her would show themselves.” She frowned and shook her head. “That person would have been you. _You_ had ordered her to kill everyone.” She shrugged.” Or something crazy like that, I don’t know. It’s a shame you woke up this early, however. I was _really_ looking forward to seeing your reaction to that.”

“Well, sorry to disappoint you, but I don’t think I’d have even cried if I saw that,” Steven said. “I think my tear ducts are all empty, thanks to that stunt you made Jasper pull with the hour-long session of telling me which one of my friends are dead like some sort of guessing game.”

“All right, I admit it, _that_ one was me.” "Jasper," said. “But I needed a way for you to stay in place while...someone else sorted a few things out.”

“Like _what?”_

“That’s not for you to know. Yet. Maybe.”

“...Right.” Steven repeated. “But if you didn’t cause all this from the start, then who did? And what were they trying to accomplish by making me see all this? What was with that whole “I ordered the death of all my friends” nonsense you just described? What were they hoping to accomplish?”

“I think they were trying to teach you a lesson…” "Jasper," said. She then turned back towards the top of the mountain. “Walk with me, Universe. There are a few things you should know.”

She then moved forward without waiting for a response, and Steven, definitely not in any kind of mood to be left behind at this point, groaned, jogged to catch up with "Jasper", and then walked directly behind her, after which she started speaking again.

“What do you think?” She asked.

“What do I think of what?”

“What do you think...led to this situation?” The Quartz iterated. “Why do _you_ think this is all happening, Universe? What caused you to be hit with such misfortune that you were forced to play out these events?”

“...Would you be surprised if I said: “I don’t know”? Steven queried, glaring at her back.

“Not really…” "Jasper" mumbled. “Because, of course, that is exactly how they wanted it to be. You see, you were in a bit of a predicament before this. You found something. Started an investigation. And somewhere along the way, you freaked out and went into that whole pink mode you inherited from your mother. Quite the shocking scene.”

Steven slowed down slightly as a million thoughts went through his mind. He...went into his pink form? Honestly, that wasn’t that big of a clue. That could be referring to hundreds of moments across a time-span of several months. And what was this about an investigation and finding something?

“You know, I just want my memory back.” He said bluntly. “All that is really interesting, but this would go a lot quicker if you just _give_ me my memories instead of telling me them in vague sentences. Because I feel like that’s how this is going to go.”

“That’s fair.” "Jasper," said. “And honestly, you have a point. Time is still of the essence. After all, everyone out there is still running out of air…”

“Wait, what?”

“Nothing for you to be concerned about yet.” "Jasper," said, before raising her hand in the air. “Now let's see…” She mumbled. “Shame that little fib I told the Other Side was just that...I could really use the full of their powers right now. But I suppose this will have to do. Thank god for all that training.”

“What are you doing?”

“Reaching out into your mind.” "Jasper" revealed. “Trying to find the cluster of memories that will give you a decent sense of what’s going on and maybe who I am. As well...as what you should do next.”

“You’re inside my head?”

"Jasper" huffed. “Oh, you idiot boy…” She breathed. “Inside your head? Where do you think we’ve been this whole time? Outside? You think that _they_ crafted an entire environment-”

“What I _meant_ to say…” Steven interjected. “...is what if you’re inside my head, searching for stuff, then why can’t I feel any of it?”

“Because I’m blocking out that little sensation.” "Jasper," said. “I just hope I can make it last long enough. I’m usually pretty good at this kind of stuff, thanks to literal _years_ of practice inside that weird mind realm, but I’m still a little rusty. Mostly I just say things and describe what I can do, but in reality, I can’t do any of it.” She paused and clicked her tongue. “Dang it, I shouldn’t have said that. I’ll have to erase your memory, unless you don’t survive this, which will be very beneficial to me…”

“You really like to hear yourself talk, huh?” Steven asked dryly. “You know, you’re a lot like…...excuse me?” He said, choking on something that wasn’t there. “Did-did you just say that _my death_ would be _beneficial_ to you?”

“Yeah.” "Jasper" grunted. “And it’s not just beneficial to me either. Your death will help pave the way for some new changes. Changes that will greatly benefit me and others. And my Captain, or course. They did promise a few things…” She sighed happily. “It’s only a matter of time, likely after those two are done with their mission. Or at least partially done. My Captain never really expected them to get all their targets, but at the very least, they expect a 30% success rate. I think. That will do enough damage to make you get the point.”

“...”

Steven stood with his mouth gaped open, staring at the Quartz like she had just shot his dog and asked for a thank you. But if "Jasper" cared about his expression, she didn’t show it, and rather twisted her hand that was in the air to the right and made a sort of humming noise.

“Annnnnnd got it.” She announced. “Wow, those lessons they gave me were more effective than I ever could have dreamed of. Alright, Universe. Prepare to relearn everything in the past...I don’t know, five hours? Yeah, sounds about right. Everything that happened in the past five hours. In three...two…”

“H-hey! I-”

“Too late. _One_.”

"Jasper" then snapped her fingers, and Steven then winced and braced for the inevitable impact of whatever was coming, knowing that those five hours of memories had to be heavy ones if they had led to _this_. 

But no amount of bracing could have truly prepared him for what came next.

A second later, Steven felt like he had been physically and mentally punched in the face as a gigantic influx of images and sounds flooded into his head all at once. He fell over and started convulsing on the ground, shaking like a wild animal trying to get free of the jaws of a predator. The first thing that threw itself at him was a dozen separate images of him and Connie sitting at the library, with hundreds of conversations along with them. There...that was what he found? This...journal? They had found a drawing...and suddenly Steven felt like someone had stabbed him in the brain with a quill pen, scribbling nonsense and trying to make him remember. The drawing eventually formed after a minute or so of this and showed a picture of a large mural, which he could see as if he had painted it on his eyeballs. He wasn’t as much as seeing it as he was _thinking_ it, the image feeling like an insect chewing away at his skull with his pain receptors giving him a brutalized image of its jaws.

But the horror was far from over, and there was a small nagging feeling in the back of Steven’s head that the person doing this, whoever was piloting "Jasper", could have shown him all of this without the pain but simply did so for fun. Was this what she really wanted? She had said that his death would be beneficial...had he fallen into a trap, and the return of memories was nothing more than an attempt to overload his brain and get it to start leaking out of his ears?

Before he could contemplate this further, however, his train of thought was not just detailed but practically picked up and smashed to pieces as he heard a horn and a bright light, and he gasped as a car filled his vision and came barreling towards him. The dondai. He put his hand up to protect himself, but the vehicle slammed into him, moving faster than Steven was sure any human-made machine could go. He felt an incredible weight press itself down on his chest, and then a minor sense of sweet relief as he was suddenly thrown into the back seat of the car, with an image of himself and Connie sitting up front. He groaned and tensed up as more pictures and words flowed into his head, and suddenly he was thankful that he wasn’t receiving them all at once but only with snippets at a time.

‘We...we left the library after that…’ He recalled. ‘To go look for this person called...the Traitor that we saw in the mural...and then we went to go talk to...Pearl, I think?’

Steven grunted and tried to right himself, momentarily looking out the window at Beach City. Nothing was on fire, and nothing was burning. It was completely normal. In the distance, he spotted Little Homeworld, devoid of any damage as well. For a second, he felt happy that things looked completely normal, but this was quickly overshadowed as the two living memories in front of him opened their mouths and let out an extremely high-pitched screaming whine. Steven yelped and fell backward, desperately covering his ears to keep the noise out, until he became aware of what the screams were made of. He could make out words in it, sounding like they were speaking at a rate a hundred times what any person, human or Gem, should be capable of going. Realizing that he’d have to listen in order to know what had happened, Steven carefully took his hands away from his ears and was met with another mind-numbing sensation as the screams began to form into actual audible conversation. Steven just slammed his teeth together and silently cursed the person who had stolen his memories, unaware before now that it was possible for _him_ to hate a person this much.

But thankfully, it didn’t last long. Due to how fast events were transpiring, the screams only went on for ten seconds before the Temple came into view, again undamaged and back to its old self. The memory versions of Steven and Connie got out of the car, and the _real_ Steven followed them, still going over everything that they had been talking (screeching) about.

‘We made a plan. We go to Pearl, and then somebody else if that didn’t work.’ He thought, clutching his sweat-covered forehead. ‘But there was something else in there too. Connie’s worried about me? Or am I worried about myself? Someone in that car...wasn’t very mentally happy. Was...was it both of us?’

A sudden bright light from behind him once again interrupted Steven’s thoughts, and he turned to see that Beach City, the ocean, the Dondai, basically everything behind him was being consumed by an impossibly large wall of white light, moving towards him at rapid speed. He tried to run, but it was futile as the light reached his legs and made them practically cease to exist. It wasn’t painful, which was a first for all the things he had experienced in the last few minutes, but it disturbed it him to all hell to just _feel_ his legs vanish like that. Unfortunately, the rest of his body followed suit a moment later as the light washed over him and filled his vision entirely, so bright that he could still see it perfectly even after he closed his eyes. Steven then felt like he was falling through the air...his stomach disappearing as wind flew by, before he landed on something soft and bouncy. He opened his eyes and saw that he was sitting on the couch in the main room of the house, Pearl standing next to the oven while the memory versions of himself and Connie stood near the counter.

‘That’s right…’ He thought. ‘Pearl made us a bunch of cinnamon rolls. She got a clue from Garnet that we were going to ask about the Traitor...so she tried to distract us. I...we figured it out, I think? We knew what she was doing because that’s exactly what we did when we didn’t want to talk about things…’

Not long after, the scene changed and suddenly Pearl was sitting right next to him on the couch, a frown on her face as the memory of Steven and Connie stood in front of her. He let out a small squeal of surprise and scooted away from them, just as their mouths opened and produced the same shriek from earlier. Steven fought back the urge to cover his ears and clenched the couch cushions as information once again poured into his brain, this time feeling like someone was scribbling in it with a crusty and dried up eraser that only left smudge marks. 

‘That…’ He started, once the memory copies had closed their mouths and the pain had ceased. ‘That’s why we went after them. That’s why we wanted to know so badly.’ Steven thought. ‘I think I’m starting to get it now. Pearl didn’t know anything, and I’m guessing that nobody else knew anything as well, including Bismuth and Garnet. So...we probably went to Jasper, and based on what I saw in here, I think something happened with her that caused this whole mess in the first place.’

“Well, you’re half-right.” The Quartz’s voice rang out, seemingly from nowhere. Steven nearly jumped out of his shoes and looked around, but didn't spot her anywhere. “Don’t bother looking, you won’t be able to find. Anyway, Jasper was sort of the start of the downhill spiral that led to this point. Although you should probably stop making assumptions and just see it for yourself.”

_“You.”_ Steven seethed, speaking with more anger than he thought possible for him to produce. “Why are you doing this to me?!”

“What do you mean?” She asked. “You requested that I give you all the knowledge of what happened recently. I just reached into those repressed memory banks, which had _become_ that way thanks to that pink thing I helped put away and his sidekick, and gave them back to you. Isn’t this what you wanted?”

“NO!” Steven exclaimed. “Well, sorta, but not like _this!_ You didn’t tell me it would be this painful! I wasn’t prepared for that at all! Even that simple conversation at the library with Connie made me think that someone was stabbing me in the skull with a steak knife! Why are you putting me through this much pain?”

“...Oh...Steven.” "Jasper" sighed. “You really don’t know anything, do you? Do I think I _want_ to put you through this much pain?”

“...”

“...”

“Okay, you’re right, I do.” She admitted. “I hate you for a lot of reasons, most of which would give away my identity or at least provide you with a sense of it. But I have my orders. And those orders are that you shouldn’t be suffering too much before the right moment.” She explained. “My superior is cruel, but not cruel to the point where they want to torture you. If _that_ was the case, they’d have told me to just leave you in that burning inferno.”

“Superior…” Steven grumbled. “So you’re not the one in charge of this. Is that the “Captain” you mentioned earlier?”

“Maybe.” "Jasper," said. “I’m sure you can figure it out by yourself. I think I should explain _why_ I’m doing it this way other than “I have my orders”, before you try to resist it and make this harder for everyone.” She cleared her throat dramatically. “As I said, I’m still a newbie at this. I only had a few years worth of lessons after my Captain sent _those two_ off to your world. It was...confusing. The idea of controlling other Gems, much less _organics_ , and influencing their minds to the point where they don’t even have free will was a power that I thought would only be reserved to the highest of beings.”

“It is.” Steven scoffed, getting off the couch, and looking out for any signs of the light wall that consumed him earlier. “White Diamond can do it. She controlled Volleyball for thousands of years.”

“...Volleyball?”

“Pink Diamond’s former Pearl.” Steven sighed. 

“...Right.” "Jasper," said. “But you just confirmed it. Only beings as high as the Diamonds should be able to have such a power, even if I don’t respect them anymore for listening to you and ruining my life. But my Captain showed me a different way. They showed me the truth. _Any Gem_ can have such an ability, as long as they have the proper tools at their disposal. They showed me something. Something their personal Peridot has been working on. A device that taps into the very mental state of the universe, allowing a person to enter another’s mind and control it, use it, or at its full potential, extinguish it.”

“Hold on, you created a mind-manipulating super-weapon?” Steven asked in horror. “And the first person you tried it on was _me?”_

_“First person?!_ ” "Jasper" chortled, before bursting out in laughter again. “Give me a break!” She shouted. “We tested it on _hundreds_ of Gems and _thousands_ of random humans before you. We needed to make sure that we were undetectable, undefeatable! We had to perfect it to prepare ourselves for the invasion of your mind! And it worked too. The other entities didn’t notice until it was far too late.”

“Other entities…?” Steven started, before shaking his head. “Hold on, what happened to those Gems and humans you used this on? If the machine wasn’t perfect then, what did it do to them?”

“Ah, you’re probably going to be sad to hear this, but they didn’t make it.” "Jasper," said casually, prompting a gasp of horror from Steven. “The Gems simply poofed and likely haven’t reformed since, and as for the humans…” She chuckled. “Well, I think if you’ve been watching what your kind called “the news” lately, then I think you’d notice that there had been a recent peak in deaths via...brain aneurysms, I believe they're called. Like the Gems, it was too much for them to handle. But do not worry. My Captain made sure that the last thing that flowed through their minds was a happy thought. After being used as guinea pigs, they deserved that much.”

“You...you _monster,”_ Steven growled, holding off the urge to charge and beat him to the ground right then and there. “I swear when this is all over I will track you down, find this Captain of yours, and _personally_ make sure that they-”

“Yeah, yeah, whatever.” "Jasper" interjected. “By my Captain’s estimate, two humans die on your planet every second, so don’t get all angry about this. We’re hardly doing any real damage as a whole. Really, you should be thanking us. I heard that overpopulation is a problem that may plague the Earth soon…”

“That doesn’t matter! It’s still people’s _lives_ you’re playing with!” Steven shouted. “You can’t just-”

“We can and we did.” "Jasper," said. “And if you don’t shut up about it, then we’ll do it to a couple more people. Like...the humans and Gems that live in Beach City for instance. Wouldn’t that be fun, seeing them picked off one at a time? Never knowing who’s going to be chosen next?”

“...”

“Yeah. I thought so.” "Jasper," said. “But back to what I was saying. The intent of me using that machine was to prepare me for this mission: Infiltrate and destroy. You see, the original purpose was to invade your mind and destroy it from the inside out. First, we had to take out that pink thing and the sidekick, and we partially succeeded in that. The sidekick is gone for good, and the pink thing was imprisoned. Unfortunately, that one was too strong to erase, but we managed.”

“Pink thing…?” Steven grumbled, before he realized who "Jasper" was talking about. “Wait, did you kill the consciousness in my Gem? The pink Steven that I saw in White’s head?”

“I don’t know what any of that is about, but if you’re talking about the version of you that’s glowing pink and is kinda creepy, then no. We didn’t kill him.” The Quartz said. “We imprisoned him like I told you.”

“Then who was the “sidekick” you killed?!”

“Something you shouldn’t even be caring about.” "Jasper," said. “If you knew what those two had done to you...hey! Let’s just keep going with this! Like you requested, I should just show you instead of telling you! All this talking is a waste of time anyway. Why should I even tell you why we changed our mission directives? Or anything else? You already know too much.”

“Wait a second-” Steven started, but again, it was too late. "Jasper"’s presence disappeared and he was thrust back into the house, where he saw the memory versions of him and Connie standing on the warp pad, waving goodbye to Pearl. Steven growled and was about to shout at "Jasper" to come back, before the ground rumbled behind him. After the brief feeling of deja-vu had passed, Steven turned and saw the white light again, consuming the house and wiping away Pearl like a smudge on a window. He shrieked and sprinted towards the warp pad, actually managing to make it in time. The three of them warped away just as the light erased the house, and Steven caught his breath as every sensation of gravity and physics disappeared. 

He turned towards the two doppelgängers, just as they opened their mouths and began broadcasting the now all-too-familiar screeches that he was sure would haunt him for the rest of his days. But despite the pain from it, Steven couldn’t help but think that it was odd the way they were talking about things. Connie was definitely hiding something, and he just seemed too calm about it and eager to pass it off. Was this _really_ a memory or just some weird trick by "Jasper"?

‘No, this has to be real.’ He thought. ‘I don’t see any logical reason why they’d trick me with more false memories or realities. If they wanted to kill me right now, then "Jasper" would have done it already by sending every thought into my brain at once and overloading it. Unless, of course, that was a lie too…?’

Whatever the case, Steven would have to think about it later, as the warp stream vanished and was replaced with the “natural” light of the sun. Little Homeworld came into view, followed by a few more screeches, and then Lapis appeared out of nowhere in the sky and came rocketing down to Earth. The shockwave she created when she landed almost threw Steven off his feet, even though the copies were entirely unaffected. Before he could even collect his bearings, they walked off away from him, forcing him to follow out of fear that the white light would start chasing him again.

‘Well, at least it’s not as bad as it was in the beginning…’ He thought, simultaneously listening to their shrieks and going over the info being shoved into his mind. The pain still hurt more than anything, but was _slightly_ tolerable at this point. ‘Just wish that some of this made sense. Lapis didn’t hear anything except from Blue...the warp pads are down...and Connie’s still slouching as always. I’d ask myself what’s wrong with her, but I have a feeling I’ll find out pretty soon.’

The four of them then made it to the Forge, the heat being emitted from it scorching Steven’s skin an angry red color. He barely even flinched. Compared to the burns he had “received” back in the whole inferno illusion, this was nothing but an irritant.

Steven waited outside while the conversation continued inside, the sounds coming from their mouths loud enough to hear from a mile away. Steven started leaving the second he heard Bismuth mention that they should move somewhere else, and the copies came out and moved past him five seconds later. Eventually coming to rest beneath a tree (it’s shade making him feel like he was naked in the middle of a blizzard), Steven suffered in silence and absorbed everything they said, eventually deciding that there was something _definitely_ wrong with the other him _and_ the Connie clone.

‘She’s not enjoying it, and I just didn’t notice? What’s up with that ?’ He asked no one in particular. ‘And furthermore, I just said that if she doesn’t want to be here, then she can leave. Why didn’t Connie take that deal right now? Does she just want to hang out with me, deciding that unhappiness is worth it for an opportunity to see me? That’s...that's not what I want. I want her to be happy even if that involves spending time away from me. And again, why didn’t I notice this earlier? If-’

Steven paused as his clone self once again caught his eye, who turned away from Connie and wasn’t even focusing on her in the slightest. The smirk on his face compared to the deep frown on Connie’s was an amazing example of contrast, and Steven couldn’t help but groan at the sight of it, one of disappointment and realization.

‘Oh... _that’s_ why.’ He thought. ‘Because I literally didn’t see it at the time.’ He huffed and clenched his fists, just as the copies began to finish their conversation. ‘Okay. Let’s see what fresh torture they have for me next. Most of those questions I asked about Connie will probably be answered anyway, so I think-’

A loud boom erupted from behind him, making Steven nearly jump out of his shoes. He turned to look, even though he already knew what it was. The white light, the current bane of his existence, was spreading over Little Homeworld like a tidal wave of solid white/glowing paint. The sizzling sound it made as it washed over everything was the only sound that registered in Steven’s ears, the conversation between the false Connie and Steven having already ended. He turned to grab one of them, hoping for some reason that it might stop...this, but they were gone, already fifty feet away on the other side of the area near the forest path. He huffed and merely prepared himself to feel his entire body fade away again, and it did just that a second later. The feeling in his legs, then his torso, and then finally his arms and head vanished and left behind nothing. For a moment, he couldn’t see or hear anything save the intense brightness, until he felt himself being stitched back together one piece at a time. Eventually, a few splotches of green and blue filled his vision, and Steven blinked several times to clear it away. The scene soon came into focus, but something was wrong.

The trees were all upside down for some reason...and the sky was the ground...and the ground was the sky? And why did it feel like his leg was ensnared in-

Steven looked down (up technically) and answered all those questions at the same time. His leg was caught in between two tree branches, hanging upside down and swaying like a rope. Steven began to feel all the blood rush to his head and his face heated up, before he heard footsteps to his right. He looked and saw the clones of himself, walking almost side-by-side on the forest path. He grunted and reached up with both his arms to free his leg, eventually managing to bend the branches enough to get himself free. Unfortunately, this also meant he toppled face-first to the ground a moment later, slamming both of his legs against a rock in the process. He felt the air being pushed out of his lungs as he lay flat on the ground, wheezing and moaning. Steven cursed silently, something that was a common occurrence today, and then tried to stand, not wanting to be left behind lest the light come back and drop him in _another_ tree.

His legs loudly protested in response by sending him a jolt of pain, but he ignored this and straightened his back with a satisfying _crack_. Afterward, he stared at his now scraped hands and knees and looked at the heavens.

“Why was that necessary?!” He screamed, not expecting an answer but receiving one only a second later.

“Those are the rules.” "Jasper," said. “The rules of this place, and of memories.”

“Rules? What rules?!” Steven screeched. “You’re in charge! You gave me these memories! You should be in control of them! Don’t you _make_ the rules for this place?”

“No, _you_ do.” "Jasper" pointed out. “Or at least that pink thing did. But now that he’s gone I can’t change the ones that have already been set in place. Because of this, stuff like that is necessary. You can’t just live through several minutes of memories in five seconds and expect much good to come out of it. Do you want to know why your legs hurt? Why you fell directly on them? Because that’s what it would feel like to you if you walked the distance your clone had just walked in five seconds. The heat from the forge? Five minutes worth of heat compiled into five seconds. The shade from the tree? Five minutes worth of _cold_ compiled into five seconds. The speech that sounds like someone taking a Gemstone across a ship hull? Five-”

“Five minutes of sound compiled into five seconds, I get it!” Steven interjected. “But if that’s true, then release Pink Steven so I don’t have to feel this pain anymore! Maybe we can’t do it in real-time because we don’t have much of that for whatever reason, but could you at least grant me that small mercy?! Haven’t I been through enough because of you?”

“No.” "Jasper," said bluntly. “And a few things there. I won’t grant you any small mercies because one, I hate you, your friend Lars, and everyone else that would _hate_ to see you suffer like this. Two, my Captain won’t let me do that. Three, if we let “Pink Steven” loose he’ll stop all of this anyway! We don’t want that! The fact that I’m not moving it as fast as I can go is because of orders alone, Universe! You-

“Holy... _that’s_ who you are.” Steven gasped.

“What?”

“I...thought your voice sounded familiar.” He said. “I noticed that it changed after I mentioned the dream was over, but I couldn’t quite pinpoint it. But...that. _Your friend Lars_. There shouldn’t be any reason for you to call him out like that specifically unless you hate _him_ just as much as me. And the only Gem I know who _does…”_ He frowned and pointed a finger at the sky, which was for some reason now a shade of dark purple. “ _Emerald_. That Gem who’s ship was stolen by Lars. The one who shot me and Connie down over the jungle moon. The one who Lars has been _searching for_ for months! Somebody...that wouldn’t be happy with the changes I’ve made to the empire. Someone who would want revenge.”

Seeing that the jig was up, "Jasper"/Emerald growled and switched back to her normal voice, sounding like an angry child. “Well, of _course_ I’m not happy!” She shrieked, forgetting her Jasper persona in record speed. “It was because of you that my position was taken away! My rank! My crew! My subjects! My... _worth_. My reason for existing! You took it all away when you made the Diamonds get rid of the empire! You ruined everything!”

“I didn’t _make_ the Diamonds do anything!” Steven said. “I simply showed them that there was a better way and they agreed with me! Maybe if you tried to _listen_ to what I had to say, my reasoning behind it, instead of ignoring it, you’d understand as well!”

“Oh, I _did_ listen!” Emerald seethed. “I heard every single word, and you know what I thought? I hated it. How dare...how _dare_ this half-human abomination swoop in and take away what makes us Gems important! What makes us superior! I heard that you are only _seventeen_ years old. _Seven. Teen!_ ” She shrieked. “You have _no_ wisdom! No experience compared to me, who has thousands of years of it! I tried to plead with the Diamonds, told them everything I am telling you now, but you know what they said?”

“...”

“...”

“...”

“You’re supposed to ask.”

Steven let out a puff of air and frowned so deeply that one might assume he had lost the ability to smile. “What did they say?”

“They _said_ that your way is better than the old way!” Emerald shouted. “And you know what _I_ say to that?”

“What did you-”

“YOU WEREN’T SUPPOSED TO ASK THAT TIME!” Emerald shrieked, sounding like an enraged banshee. All was silent for a few moments before she spoke again, trembling with rage. “I told them that they were _Clods_. Cowards in fact! Cowards for listening to you! What? Were they _afraid?_ Scared that you were going to do something horrible if they didn’t listen?! I wouldn’t be surprised. They were probably so disgusted by your very existence that they-”

“I didn’t scare them into anything!” Steven interjected. “I _just_ told you this! Like two minutes ago! I told them that they can be better if they open up. That they can make _everyone_ in the empire happy. And they saw that I was right.” He cleared his throat and put on a voice, sounding somewhat like his younger self. “How many times did you make her cry? Does this look perfect to you? I _am_ a child, what’s your excuse?”

“What...what are those lines?” Emerald asked, sounding genuinely confused. “I feel like you’re referencing something, but I’m not getting it, and that’s not fair to my understanding of this whole situation. What is-”

“Those three lines are what I said to the Diamonds to get them to stop,” Steven explained. “First Blue, then Yellow, then White. Blue saw that she had done nothing but hurt Pink. Yellow saw that the empire wasn’t perfect when it _required_ her to attack a fellow Diamond.”

“Wait, Yellow did what-”

“And _White_ understood that she wasn’t perfect when she started acting like a child and threw a tantrum!” Steven interrupted. “They all got it. I showed them the way. Sure, it took some time and a _lot_ of risks, but it was worth it! I got through in the end! And you know what, Emerald, despite everything you just did to me, despite you forcing me to stay in that inferno and then painfully giving me back all my memories...I’m willing to do the same for you. I want to help you as I helped them. And maybe it’s going to take a while. Maybe you’re going to be unwilling at first. Maybe you’ll fight me the _entire_ way through! But I _promise_ that I will show you that _your_ way isn’t the right way.”

“...”

“Okay?”

“...”

“Uh...are you still there? I’m-”

“Promise…” Emerald hissed. “You promise that you’ll fix me. You promise that you’ll repair me. You promise...that you’ll _brainwash_ me you mean!”

“Oh, come _on,_ ” Steven mumbled, even though this response is exactly what he had been expecting.

“Don’t think it’s going to be that easy, Universe,” Emerald said. “I know you now. I had the opportunity to take a look at those memories before I gave them back to you. And I have to say, you are one screwed up little mess. You can switch from being happy to enraged in the blink of an eye. You go to some human and explain all your problems so they can give you some cliche advice! You _mutilated_ yourself with your... _teeth_ because you were starting to get aggravated over that little investigation with this Traitor. Which honestly, is very intriguing. I had no idea they were a thing.” She admitted. “ _But_...you are still a mess. You and your little friend have constant disagreements. You fought _Jasper_ and risked _her_ and your own life for nothing but information!”

“Hold on, I did _what-”_

“And _then…”_ Emerald continued. “You started freaking out over petty reasons! Oh, my friends are going to abandon me and I’m basing this on nothing but my feelings!” She mocked. “First mistake. You were led by your emotions alone. And yes. I did that in the past with Lars. But not anymore. My Captain showed me the way beforehand. We don’t let emotions guide us around. That’s what orders are for. We don’t listen to our souls. To listen to our superiors, who don’t have souls. Who don’t have empathy. Who don’t have time to _care_ about emotions! That is why I enjoyed serving the Diamonds! They were no-nonsense, and then you bastardized them. Just like you do to everything else. Your friendships. Your mental state. Even your family.”

“Okay, that’s just unfair.” Steven protested. “I didn’t do anything to my family. I didn’t “bastardize” them or anyone else.” He claimed, air quotes and all. “They just taught me how to be a Crystal Gem, and I did that in my own way.”

“And there was your second mistake,” Emerald said. “Choosing to become a Crystal Gem. Do you know that White made most of your life story public to all Gems across the universe? Do you know that she shared some details of your life with literally _everybody_ that I’m sure you’d rather keep private?”

“Yes, actually,” Steven said. “I was the one who told her my life story, and gave her permission to broadcast the audio to anyone who wanted to listen. I told them everything. My childhood, the corrupted Gems, Lapis, Jasper and Peridot, the Cluster...and so on. I didn’t really have much to hide, and I didn’t share anything that I’d _want_ to keep private!”

“...Dang, I was hoping that’d get more of a reaction out of you.” Emerald pouted. “But whatever. Like I was saying, your second mistake was becoming a Crystal Gem. The Lapis incident. You mentioned how Lapis Lazuli gave you a choice: Either go with her or leave your friends. You foolishly chose the latter.”

“Yes, I am aware of this,” Steven sighed. “But why exactly is this important to the current situation at han-”

“I’M NOT FINISHED!” Emerald roared. “You chose the latter.” She repeated. “But you had the perfect opportunity there. You could have gone with her, healed her Gem, and then gone back to Homeworld. You could have-”

“Been executed maybe?!” Steven interjected, starting to lose his temper. “Okay, Emerald. You tell _me_ something. What exactly would I have done once I got back to Homeworld? I’m betting they imprisoned Lapis the second she stepped foot on the surface. Heck, they probably nabbed her in the atmosphere! So if they just caught her like that, and treated her like trash despite Lapis’s apparently being extremely valuable to Gemkind, then what do you think they’d have done with _me?”_

For a second, Emerald lost her momentum. “Well...I suppose they might...um…”

“Exactly. You don’t know.” Steven said. “But I’ll tell you what they’d do. First option, they think I’m some weird shape-shifting Rose Quartz Gem. They try to poof me so they can put me in a bubble and stick me in the human zoo, but only end up killing my human half and leaving my Gem half unharmed. Who I’m sure would then get angry and shatter everyone in sight.”

“Oh sure,” Emerald said sarcastically. “The second that thing formed they’d be on it like-”

“Like nothing,” Steven said. “You weren’t in White’s head. You weren’t there when White pulled out my Gem.”

“White did what?” Emerald asked, sounding rather shocked.

“Oh, did I forget to mention that in the broadcast that was sent to everybody in the entire universe?” Steven asked rhetorically. “Sorry, it must have been something private that’d rather not share with anyone. But as I was saying, you weren’t there. She yanked it right out my body, and he emerged and brought her to the floor. With one blast of energy. I’m sure if he wanted to he could have taken out the entire planet, and the only reason he didn’t was because I was there.”

“...I don’t believe you. A bluff, and nothing more. Pink Diamond would have never been able to achieve such power.” Emerald said. “She was a Diamond, but she was still the weakest. Nowhere near _that.”_

“We’re not talking about Pink Diamond though.” Steven pointed out.

“...Okay, but that’s still her Gem.” Emerald said. “It doesn’t make sense for you to be stronger if-”

“I don’t care, getting back to what I was talking about,” Steven said, not in the mood to start _another_ pointless conversation. “Now, the second option if I went with Lapis to Homeworld. They would discover I’m Rose Quartz and shatter me. I had _no_ idea this Gem was Pink’s at the time and the only person who did was stuck on Earth. They’d kill me, and thus ends the tale of Steven universe. There are no other options besides those two.”

“Maybe,” Emerald said. “But you still should have taken it. Homeworld was merciful towards the Lazuli for giving them information. You lived with the Crystal Gems for years. If you agreed to tell them everything you know, they might have spared you. Most Homeworld Gems that remember the Revolution believed that all Rose Quartzs could heal Gems after all, not just that one. But every single member of the cut was bubbled away before anyone could prove or disprove that theory! Healing her Gem and claiming you were still a regular Rose Quartz, albeit with an odd appearance, would have worked! There! A third option!”

“Okay...but I didn’t know that!” Steven shouted. “How was I supposed to know something like that! I didn’t know the Diamonds existed! I didn’t even know that _more_ than one Gem for each _type_ existed! Heck, up until the point where we stopped the Cluster, I thought our Pearl was the _only_ Pearl! You’re giving me an option that was an impossibility!”

“Oh sure, like you didn’t even know _that._ ” Emerald scoffed. “I don’t believe that for a second. Those Gems might have been lousy caretakers and overall a bad influence, but are you seriously telling me that they taught you nothing of your own...half of your own race?!”

“Yes!” Steven yelled. “They didn’t want me to know about any of that! Nothing about Homeworld, or the Diamonds, or even that other Gems existed that weren’t corrupted! Heck, I didn’t even _know_ that those were regular Gems turned into monsters until I had fought dozens and dozens of them! They sheltered me from all of it!”

“Then they _were_ lousy caretakers!” Emerald spat. “If they wanted to protect the world, then they should have informed you of all of that so you could be ready to fight it properly when the time came! Not cower in fear because you had no idea what you were up against!”

“I wasn’t cowering in fear!”

“You explained multiple times how ridiculously scared you were during that whole life story thing,” Emerald said. “Like, in more detail than what was ever necessary.”

“...Okay fine, but that doesn’t change the fact that-”

“STOP.” A thunderous voice demanded, causing the ground beneath Steven to shake and the environment to crack like a piece of glass. Both Steven and Emerald immediately shut their mouths, the order sounding like it had been delivered by God himself. “THIS HAS GONE ON FOR TOO LONG. YOU _BOTH_ HAVE WASTED TOO MUCH TIME.”

“C-Captain!” Emerald said nervously. “Why are you here, sir? I assure you, I have the situation under my control-”

“THIS IS NOT CONTROL.” The voice said. “YOU HAVE BEEN WASTING TIME AND MAKING THIS ENTIRE ENCOUNTER DRAG ON. I WANTED IT TO END HOURS AGO. YOUR ORDERS WERE NOT TO SHOW HIM HIS MEMORIES THAT WAY. WHY DID YOU DO THAT?”

“I...thought that I could somehow use the pain to regain control,” Emerald said. “I was hoping for him to suffer so much that his mind would be open again, and I could continue the illusion without any problems.”

“THE GOAL WAS NOT TO EXTEND THE ILLUSION, BUT RATHER TO END IT AS SOON AS POSSIBLE.” The voice reminded her. “YOU DID THE EXACT OPPOSITE OF WHAT I TOLD YOU TO DO. DID YOU SOMEHOW MISHEAR ME?”

“Sir...I just…” Emerald stuttered, before breaking down. “Please forgive me!” She sobbed. “I didn't mean to disobey your orders! I just have misunderstood them! I just thought this was what you wanted! Please forgive me, sir, it will not happen again!”

“...”

“...Please, sir?”

“VERY WELL.” The voice sighed. “BUT NEXT TIME PAY ATTENTION. I AM NOT ONE TO REPEAT ORDERS.”

“Of course, sir, I promise it will not happen again!” Emerald promised graciously. “Thank you for-”

“Excuse me…” Steven interjected. “But...what the heck is going on?! Who are _you?!_ How many different people are in my head right now?! What...just... _what?!?!”_

“FIVE MINDS, COUNTING THE ONE THAT WAS ALREADY DESTROYED.” The voice said. “BUT DO NOT WORRY. SOON YOU WILL BE RID OF US. I INTEND TO FINISH THIS UP QUICKLY.”

“But...who are you? Are you Emerald’s superior? Her... _Captain_?”

“YES.”

“Then...then _you’re_ the person who ordered her to do this to me!”

“THAT IS ALSO CORRECT, YES.” The Captain said. “BUT I ASSURE YOU, IT IS NOTHING PERSONAL. I SIMPLY DON'T WANT ANY PRYING EYES LIKE YOURS FIGURING OUT TOO MUCH ABOUT ME. I HAVE REMAINED IN HIDING FOR THOUSANDS OF YEARS, AND I INTEND TO DO THAT FOR MILLIONS MORE.”

“Figuring out too much about me…” Steven echoed, before he gasped as realization set in. “Oh my...are you the Trai-”

“WHAT WAS IT YOU SAID?” The Captain asked. “THIS DREAM IS OVER. GOODBYE STEVEN. ONE DAY YOU’LL UNDERSTAND.”

“Wait!” Steven protested, beginning to feel himself fade away like the white light was consuming him again. “What about the memories I haven’t seen yet?”

“THEY WILL BE RETURNED TO YOU IN DREAMS.” The Captain said. “FAREWELL.”

Before Steven could say anything else, he looked down and saw that his legs were vanishing just like before, this time being taken over by darkness. He let out one final scream of resistance before it reached his head, and a second later, the entire landscape, the fire, the remains of the town, the shelter, and forest...simply ceased to exist, their purpose fulfilled.

***

Steven awoke in an unfamiliar place.

The ground was smooth and the sky was pink with a giant jagged crack running through it. This fissure was the first thing he saw when he opened his eyes, and in a flash he was on his feet, scanning the area. But he noticed he was no longer wearing the suit, and that for some reason, the environment felt...peaceful. Calm. It almost gave him a sense of tranquility. He briefly wondered if he was dead and this was just some weird version of purgatory, until an all-too-familiar voice rang out and disproved his theory.

“HELLO, STEVEN.” The Captain said, making him nearly jump out of his shoes. 

“You...” The hybrid said. “What’s going on? Where am I? Didn’t you just send me away?”

“YOU’RE STILL INSIDE YOUR OWN HEAD.” The Captain explained. “THIS IS WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE WITHOUT ANYTHING FORMED INSIDE IT, LIKE THE BURNING WORLD YOU WERE JUST IN. THIS IS WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE WHEN IT'S EMPTY. AS FOR WHAT’S GOING ON, I THOUGHT WE COULD TAKE A MOMENT TO TALK.”

“Why?” Steven asked. “I thought you said that the dream is over, just like I did. I thought that meant you’d wake me up, not bring me to another part of my mind!”

“THAT WAS MERELY FOR EMERALD.” The Captain said. “I WILL COME TO ENTRUST HER WITH MANY OF MY SECRETS, BUT THIS WILL NOT BE ONE OF THEM. THIS CONVERSATION WILL REMAIN PRIVATE. BETWEEN THE TWO OF US, I’M HOPING, BUT YOU ARE FREE TO SHARE IT WITH WHAT REMAINS OF YOUR FRIENDS WHEN THIS IS ALL OVER.”

“What remains of them...what did you do?” Steven demanded, which felt like a question he had been asking too often as of late.

“I HAVE TECHNICALLY DONE NOTHING. THAT WILL BE ENTRUSTED TO MY SUBORDINATES. OF COURSE, I DO NOT EXPECT THEM TO SUCCEED ENTIRELY OR AT ALL. MERELY...BUY SOME TIME.”

“Time for _what?”_

“SOMETHING THAT YOU WILL HAVE TO FIND OUT ON YOUR OWN.” The Captain said. “BUT NOW THAT WE ARE HERE, I THINK YOU SHOULD BE INFORMED OF THE SITUATION.”

“Okay, hold on!” Steven interjected. “I have so many questions! Are you really the Traitor? Why is my death in your favor? Why are you doing any of this in the first place? And if you _are_ the Traitor, how did you find out so fast that Connie and I are looking for you?”

“DO YOU THINK I'M GOING TO ANSWER MOST OR EVEN ONE OF THOSE?”

“No,” Steven said. “But if you _want_ to talk, then that’s what we’re discussing first. Unless you want me to cover my ears and yell LA LA LA until you stop talking.”

“AH. BLACKMAILING. HOW VERY TWEE.” The Captain said. “OKAY. HOW ABOUT THIS. YOU WILL LISTEN OR I’LL GIVE YOUR MEMORIES BACK RIGHT NOW AT THE SPEED OF LIGHT, EFFECTIVELY KILLING YOU. EITHER THAT OR SENDING YOU BACK INTO ANOTHER ENVIRONMENT AND ALTERING YOUR MEMORIES SO THAT YOU DON'T REMEMBER IT IS AN ILLUSION AGAIN. TWO CAN PLAY AT THAT GAME, UNIVERSE, AND _I_ HAVE THOUSANDS OF YEARS OF EXPERIENCE. BUT...AS FOR THE NAME, I WOULD PREFER IT IT YOU CALLED ME “MIRROR”, AND NOT, “THE CAPTAIN”. IT’LL SAVE TIME.”

“...”

“UNDERSTAND? GOOD. AND EXACTLY. THAT’S HOW IT ALL ENDS. THEY STOP TALKING ONCE I REVEAL THE TRUTH. I ALWAYS WONDERED WHY THAT IS. DO THEY MUST NOT HAVE ANYTHING TO SAY? OR HAVE THEY SIMPLY RESIGNED THEMSELVES TO THEIR FATE?”

“You’re asking me like I know the answer... _Mirror.”_

“MAYBE YOU DO, YOU ARE GOOD WITH PEOPLE.” Mirror hummed. “BUT BACK TO WHAT I WAS TALKING ABOUT. WHAT DO YOU THINK HAPPENED AFTER THE BISMUTH GAVE YOU NOTHING TO GO WITH? WHO DID YOU GO TO?”

“Jasper…” Steven mumbled, remembering the plan his life past self had come up with. 

“YES. THE QUARTZ.” Mirror confirmed. “AND YOU FOUGHT AS THAT FUSION. THE FUSION YOU BECOME WHEN YOU FUSED WITH YOUR HUMAN FRIEND CONNIE. LONG STORY SHORT, YOU WERE SEVERELY INJURED, BUT MANAGED TO BEAT JASPER IN THE END BY GOING PINK. AN OVERALL AMUSING FIGHT TO WITNESS.”

“Severely injured?!” Steven exclaimed. “That doesn’t sound very amusing to me. What the heck happened during that fight?!”

“AGAIN, SOMETHING THAT WILL BE ANSWERED IN TIME, IN YOUR DREAMS,” Mirror said. “BUT YOU DID GET A LOCATION. AND A PLANET. BUT UNFORTUNATELY...YOU LEFT BEHIND TWO VITAL PIECES. THE GEMS FOUND THEM, ASSUMED THE WORST, AND THAT EVENTUALLY LED UP TO YOUR PEARL TAKING CONNIE SOMEWHERE ELSE AND YOU BEING LEFT ALONE WITH THE LAPIS, AMETHYST, AND BISMUTH.”

“Two vital pieces…” Steven started, and he was about to ask “did Connie leave her backpack behind or something”, before realizing that the answer would be “you will see in your dreams” or something equally similar. So instead he decided to leave it at those two words.

“AND WHAT HAPPENED NEXT IS SOMETHING THAT I UNDERSTAND IS A COMMON OCCURRENCE WITH YOU,” Mirror said. “YOU STARTED TO FREAK OUT. TURNED PINK. THEN IT ENTERED YOUR MIND AND MANIPULATED YOU IN WAYS THAT EVEN I WOULD BE INCAPABLE OF DOING. IT TOOK YOU IN AFTER YOU WERE KNOCKED UNCONSCIOUS. TRIED TO GET YOU TO LET GO. TRIED TO MAKE YOU SCREAM AND KILL ALL YOUR FRIENDS. ANOTHER PART OF YOUR MIND INTERVENED, ALTHOUGH IT SCARCELY WORKED. AND NOW...THAT LEAVES US HERE.”

“Hold on, I feel like you just skipped over a ton of important stuff, even if this is a super abridged version.” Steven protested. “How did I end up in that burning landscape? Where did you and Emerald come from?”

“THE DREAMS, STEVEN,” Mirror said. “IF YOU SOMEHOW MANAGE TO GET ANY SLEEP TONIGHT, THERE WILL LIE YOUR ANSWERS.”

“You already said that.”

“WELL, CONSIDERING THAT YOU DON'T SEEM TO UNDERSTAND THAT, I FEEL LIKE IT NEEDED TO BE SAID AGAIN.” Mirror shot back. “BUT IT MATTERS LITTLE. I AM TIRED OF THIS LITTLE GAME, UNIVERSE. I AM TIRED OF DEALING WITH YOU, EVEN IF IT HAS ONLY BEEN A FEW HOURS. NOW I SEE WHERE EMERALD WAS COMING FROM WHEN SHE CONSTANTLY TALKED ABOUT HOW MUCH SHE DESPISED YOU WHEN I FIRST MET HER. YOU HAVE AN INSANE AMOUNT OF UNLIKABLE QUALITIES TO PEOPLE LIKE ME AND HER.”

“Happy to see I still have fans,” Steven grumbled. “But so much for taking a moment to talk. You talked for basically a few minutes and now you’re done?”

“I DO AS MUCH TALKING AS IS NECESSARY,” Mirror said. “THIS CONVERSATION NO LONGER CONSTITUTES. AND NOW I WILL FINISH THIS. I AM NOT HAPPY YOU ARE TRYING TO FIND ME.”

“So you really _are_ the Traitor!” Steven exclaimed. “What the heck are you doing?! Why-”

“HUSH,” Mirror said. “I AM NOT, ACTUALLY. MERELY AN ASPECT OF THEM. A...MIRROR IMAGE YOU COULD SAY, HENCE THE NAME. BUT I AM NOT THEM. THAT PERSON...IF THEY ARE SOMEHOW STILL ALIVE...IS SOMEWHERE YOU WILL NEVER FIND THEM. NOT THAT YOU WILL GET THE CHANCE ANYWAY. AFTER THIS, I SUSPECT THAT YOU WILL BE CONFINED TO YOUR HOUSE FOR A VERY LONG TIME. AND BY THEN, I HOPE YOU WILL HAVE REALIZED THE FUTILITY OF YOUR INVESTIGATION.”

“After what? What are you about to do?” Steven asked, starting to sweat.

“I THINK YOU SHOULD BE ASKING YOURSELF THAT QUESTION,” Mirror said. “BUT I THINK IT IS BEST FOR YOU TO FIND OUT ON YOUR OWN. DON’T TRY TO STOP IT FROM COMING, HOWEVER. ONE I PLANT THE THOUGHT IN YOUR MIND AND WAKE YOU UP, YOU WILL BE UNABLE TO RESIST IT. DOING SO WILL ONLY CAUSE FURTHER PAIN. AND WHILE IT IS TRUE THAT I WISH FOR YOU TO SUFFER FOR WHAT YOU HAVE DISCOVERED...AND THAT YOU LIKELY WILL WHEN THE TIME COMES...YOU WERE MERELY A VICTIM OF CIRCUMSTANCE. I HOLD NO _TRUE_ ANIMOSITY TOWARDS YOU, UNIVERSE.”

“Wait…” Steven said. “Whatever you’re about to do, don’t-”

“IT IS TOO LATE. I HAVE ALREADY MADE MY DECISION, AND THUS I LEAVE YOU WITH ONE LAST PIECE OF ADVICE. IF YOU CARE ABOUT YOUR FRIENDS AT ALL, STOP THE INVESTIGATION. GIVE UP THIS FOOLISHNESS. THIS IS NOTHING BUT A SHOW OF POWER, STEVEN. THIS IS WHAT WILL HAPPEN IF YOU STICK YOUR NOSE IN PLACES WHERE IT DOESN’T BELONG. YOU ARE FREE TO DO WHATEVER YOU WISH WITH _THOSE TWO_ ONCE THEY FAIL THEIR MISSION, AND YOU MAY INFORM THEM THAT I AM NOT COMING TO RESCUE THEM. GO BACK TO YOUR LIFE, AND I WILL GO BACK TO MINE. THERE NEEDN’T BE ANY MORE SUFFERING. REMEMBER THAT. NOW...WAKE AND DO WHAT I HAVE SET IN MOTION.”

“No!” Steven said. “Don’t-”

“OH, AND ONE LAST _LAST_ THING,” Mirror said. “IF YOU DO FIND THEM...THE ONE THAT I’M REFLECTING...LET THEM KNOW THAT I WILL FIND THEM, AND FINISH WHAT THAT BOTHERSOME DIAMOND STARTED ALL THOSE MILLENIA AGO.”

“Wai-”

“GOODBYE, UNIVERSE. FOR REAL THIS TIME. MAY WE NOT MEET AGAIN. AND I AM SORRY...THAT THINGS HAD TO TURN OUT THIS WAY.”

Steven opened his mouth again, about to shout out another word of protest, but before he could the area once again faded into darkness and became as black as the night sky. Steven suddenly felt his breath being sucked in involuntarily as his vision faded, and despite how hard he was telling himself not to, Steven finally woke up, birthed into a brand new hell that he never had any control over.

***

Bismuth was panicking.

It had only been a few seconds since she had accidentally knocked Steven out, the boy still bright pink and emitting his air-destroying aura. In the heat of the moment, she completely forgot about her plan to take him to the warp pad, stunned into silence by what had transpired. She simply stared at the unconscious Steven, the same way a person might stare at a corpse that they were responsible for creating.

At least, until, the corpse awoke. 

Bismuth gasped as Steven began to stir out of nowhere, his head lifting up and soft groans coming out his mouth. Her expression became one of relief and confusion at how quickly he had woken up after _just_ being knocked out, and the bulky Gem certainly wasn’t complaining.

“Steven! Are you okay?” She asked, as Steven moved his head up and looked at her. “I’m so sorry for hitting you like that. You moved your hand and I couldn’t stop myself int time and then I started panicking when you-”

Bismuth stopped short as Steven’s expression finally registered in her brain. The features that she had assumed to be grogginess was actually a result of his face being scrunched up, frustration coating every inch of it. There was a desperate look in his eyes, as if he was begging for her to help. Sweat was pouring down his forehead like a river, like he was performing some great physical task.

“Oh my god!” Bismuth exclaimed. “Steven! What is-”

“R...ra...raaa…” Steven choked out, before gritting his teeth and finally getting a word in. “RUN! NOW!” He growled, before inhaling and putting on his scrunched face again.

And Bismuth didn’t hesitate. 

Even though her conscience was telling her to stay here, to ignore that little command and try to help Steven, every single one of her _instincts_ were telling her to get the hell out of there as fast as possible. And judging by the look on Steven’s face, one that was afraid for _her_ instead of himself, the bulky Gem knew that she was in truly great danger.

She set Steven down on the ground and then sprinted away, hiding behind the large tower that had been constructed several months earlier. But she still peeked out from behind it as the aura Steven was surrounded with suddenly turned a dark purple and then shrunk towards him, disappearing completely in the blink of an eye. Soon it was just him, writhing on the ground in agony, before he stilled.

And then the loudest and most powerful ear-splitting shriek she had ever heard in her entire life erupted from his mouth. It reminded her of the cries of a wounded and frightened animal, and she quickly covered both her ears to drown it out, although this did absolutely nothing to help. She then looked back at him and frowned upon seeing the pink aura suddenly surround him again…

...Which then exploded outwards and obliterated everything in sight. Bismuth choked on nothing as she saw the pink shockwave heading her way, and braced for impact. But nothing could have readied her for this. The blast hit her with all the force of a freight train, and a second later she poofed into a cloud of smoke, her Gem being effortlessly flung into the air. It shot away like a rocket and disappeared into the forest, cracking on impact with a large rock. A few splinters fell from her Gem and landed in the dirt, but the stone itself was otherwise unharmed.

Unfortunately, the same could not be said for most of Little Homeworld’s buildings. The pulse that Steven sent out slammed into them and took out their supports like twigs, causing them to fall over and crumble into pieces, the rocks and bricks that made them up sent flying over the horizon. The ground _itself_ was also uprooted, hundreds of feet of pavement and carved paths annihilated by the shockwave. Months of progress were destroyed in the span of about five seconds, in an event that no one but Steven could have seen coming.

And it was only the start. A short walk away, in a small but reinforced building that Pearl and Connie were standing in, the Gem was hanging on to the girl with one hand with her other hand holding on to her spear, which had been driven deep into the ground in a desperate attempt to prevent them both from getting blown away. Connie was currently unconscious, her forehead split open and bleeding severely after getting hit with a small chunk of stone. Pearl was holding onto her as tightly as she could, to the point where Connie would have cried in pain if she was still awake. Pearl herself carried several small gashes all across her form, each of them deeper than the last. 

But the spear held, and all Pearl had to do now was wait.

But further away, beyond that, Peridot was taking shelter under a table, the remains of her machines littered around her. Wires and various electrical parts were scattered across the floor, creating an electrical minefield that sparked and spat out electricity. All the while Peridot screamed like a lunatic, her voice drowned out by the roar of the explosion.

Lapis and Amethyst were the next to feel it. After the blue Gem had gotten them a safe distance away and Amethyst had gotten rid of her respiratory system, the two of them had planned to go back and help Bismuth calm Steven down. But the second Lapis saw the blast and several of the buildings go flying, she grabbed the purple Gem by the shoulders and yanked them both upwards, flying as far away as she could. The shockwave slammed into them and left a visible crack in Lapis’s Gem, causing her to fly to the ground in a crash landing. The two fell like meteors and carved a path through the tree line on the way down, Lapis proofing on impact with the ground while Amethyst was thrown into a boulder at Mach two, rendering her almost completely unable to move.

And then the blast hit the rest. The Gems returning from the hunt to find Steven and Connie were thrown onto their backs, the explosion knocking them all over like a bunch of bowling pins. Over a dozen were poofed, and several more, specifically the smallest ones like Little Larimar and the Heaven and Earth beetles, were cracked just like Lapis and Bismuth had been. Beach City was somewhat luckier, being much further away, but only somewhat. Every single window in the town was shattered into pieces, the shards were thrown violently into whatever room they were in front of. Flagpoles swayed and toppled over, while Funland was turned into a mess of food and cheap prizes, both of these things thrust straight out of people’s hands and strewn about everywhere.

And then there was the Temple. Garnet was sitting inside on the couch when the windows were blown in, but she didn’t even turn to look. Even after her visors were cracked and then yanked away from her face, the Gem remained as still as a statue. But once the explosion had subsided, she took a deep breath, got up, stretched her limbs, and then left to go assist everyone who had been hurt. 

And as Garnet walked away, Pearl clutched Connie in her arms, Bismuth and Lapis lay as nothing but cracked Gems, Amethyst groaned and _felt_ nothing but pain, and Peridot tried to save what she could of her machines and plants…

Steven lay vacant in the middle of a giant crater, hand cupped over his mouth as he sobbed like a baby. With his only wish being that he had never suggested that he and Connie find the Traitor in the first place.

Because now he knew that _they_ certainly didn’t want him finding them, and would do anything to make sure of it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All I have to say is...Steven's life is only going to be getting a lot worse from this point forward.


	20. Lockdown

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this chapter is definitely going to be an odd one, just thought I should let everybody know beforehand, but what happens in the end will be cleared up in the next, trust me.

Steven is “grounded”.

Possibly forever. 

No leaving the Temple, no talking to anyone he is not authorized to talk to, no television, no internet, no phone, no warp pad.

No _life._

And those are only _some_ of the rules the Gems set in place after the now-infamous “crater incident”, which resulted in the destruction of seventy-five percent of Little Homeworld, the poofing of over a hundred Gems, the cracking of over twenty, which included Lapis and Bismuth, every window in a three-mile radius being blow out, and over _twenty_ injuries from the various residents of Beach City.

_One_ of which was his best friend Connie, who had to get stitches in her forehead after being struck with a rock. She also received a severe skull fracture, and her parents had her hospitalized for over two weeks now, taking no chances with such an injury. 

And what was _Steven_ doing right now? Well, he was laying on his bed doing nothing, which had become his favorite (only) pastime now that he was banned from going anywhere and doing anything fun. At first, he protested that this was unnecessary, that taking away his electronics wouldn’t solve anything because he _never wanted this to happen in the first place_ , but Garnet has used her future vision and said it was for the better, and everyone else listened to her.

Which could not be said of Steven when _he_ tried to explain what happened. The night after the incident, one where Steven barely got any sleep thanks to being put in a protective cell by Peridot for “everyone’s safety”, he had several dreams that he instantly knew were not dreams at all. Mirror had been telling the truth. The memories came back, and Steven was forced to rewatch them all. Thankfully without pain this time, due to them moving at a normal speed, but it was still agonizing to watch. Him freaking out...Stevonnie getting beaten to a pulp by Jasper...the oxygen destroying effect taking out birds and plants and almost reaching the town...it all really sucked to watch.

But back in the semi-present, when the Gems asked for an explanation, he answered. He told them everything, in detail. No lying, no holding back, just the plain truth. The fight. The emotions he felt when he turned pink. The conversation with his Other Side and the way the mindscape distorted time. The illusion of the town burning. Jasper following his orders and then revealing herself to be under Emerald’s control. The cryptic warnings from Mirror and what they said. Then him waking up, unable to hold back his scream, telling Bismuth to run…

And well, they knew the rest.

And not once did they interrupt him. They all silently sat in a semi-circle, listening to everything he had to say. Even when Steven had to stop to take a breath, they didn’t ask any questions or make any comments. Perhaps they were too surprised? Or maybe Steven was just so good at explaining everything that they didn’t _need_ to ask any questions. But whatever the reason, they didn’t. And Steven was perfectly content with that at the time.

At least, until they all left simultaneously and didn’t come back for over three hours. But when they did, it was just Garnet. She told Steven what was going to happen. What the terms would be. No electronics, no visiting anyone, etc, etc. Steven protested, almost angrily, against this at first, but then the fusion told him in the most deadpan voice he had ever heard that he was lucky to receive that much. Because the alternative was keeping him _here_ , in this cell, being constantly monitored every hour of the day. Steven promptly shut up after that, and was led outside to Greg’s van where his father was waiting. Garnet informed him that the rest of the Gem would be going back to the Temple via warp pad, and left it at that. 

Slowly, stoically, and with everyone watching him like a hawk and looking ready to grab him at a moment's notice, Steven climbed into the passenger seat and the two of them rolled away from Little Homeworld, Steven unable to look out the window and witness the destruction he had wrought. Once they were outside what _was_ the gate, Steven’s first words to his dad in what felt like weeks were asking what had happened to Connie, and Greg’s only response was that she was hospitalized, but going to be okay. Steven trembled at this, and started silently apologizing for everything. His father merely looked at him but didn’t say a thing, even though the expression on his face told Steven that he definitely wanted to.

And then they made it home. Back to the Temple. Greg has turned off the van and gripped the steering wheel for a few moments, before embracing his son in a tight hug. Steven didn’t return it at first, assuming that his dad was angry or weary of him like everyone else and would much rather get as far away from him as fast as possible. But Greg didn’t, he just continued the hug, and Steven sobbed as he hugged him back, the two remaining like that for several minutes.

Eventually, Steven’s cries were reduced to whimpering and he asked what was going to happen to him, if his current living condition was going to be a permanent one. Greg said that he didn’t know, as the Gems mostly were keeping him the dark about what was going to happen to Steven. He was allowed to visit him anytime he wanted, even though Garnet had made a “recommendation” that he not. That he was “unstable” at the moment and that it'd be better for everyone if they “kept their distance for now”.

Steven couldn’t help but continue crying at that, and his next two questions were his last ones.

“Will Connie hate me?” He asked. “Will she ever forgive me for what I did to her?”

And what did Greg say in response? To his crying, desperate, terrified son who wanted none of this to come to pass?

“I don’t know, schtu-ball.”

And then he led him inside, said his goodbyes, and left. The others weren’t back yet for whatever reason, so Steven sat down at the counter and went over what he had told them. It was the entire truth! Every last bit of it! He hadn’t been lying to them even the smallest bit.

So why did they all look at him like he had when he left? Because those stares...they were blood-curdling. Anxious. Worried. Ready to pounce. Steven didn’t know who he was more scared of at that moment: Himself or them. Probably himself, considering the sheer destructive power that he now knew he possessed, but still, he was on the fence. Garnet’s words, telling him that he was lucky to receive that much, echoed throughout his mind for what felt like hours. 

And it _was_ hours. Because by the time Steven got up to go get a drink of water, he nearly fell over from his legs being asleep. A quick glance at the clock on the wall confirmed that he had been sitting there for almost a quarter of a day. It was practically seven o'clock in the evening, and the sun was starting to disappear over the horizon. Dumbfounded as to why the Gems hadn’t checked up on him, Steven ran up to his room and saw that everything had already been set in place. His television, phone, and computer were gone, and the glass sliding door was covered with a large piece of drywall, which he instantly recognized as Bismuth’s work. Beyond that, there wasn’t much change, although he did notice that anything in the room that had been pink was no longer there. (Not that there was much of _that_ to begin with.)

It was then that he realized. This was a test. They had left him alone on purpose. The Gems were probably watching him right now, courtesy of those cameras Peridot mentioned she had built. He tried not to look around for them, but eventually, Steven just couldn’t resist. And after a few minutes of some not-so-inconspicuous searching, he had discovered over twenty cameras, giving the Gems a view of every inch of the room and creating a complete lack of privacy. He thought about removing them, before reminding himself why they were there.

‘Still a test.’ He told himself. ‘They want to see what I’ll do. See if I try to leave to see Connie or anyone else. Garnet said that those rules would come into effect the second I get home, so if I left then I’d definitely be breaking them. And I’m betting if I do anything suspicious, anything that they said I wasn’t allowed to do, then it’ll be thrown back into that cell as punishment. Nothing more than a prisoner.’

(Actually, no. They just planned to _threaten_ to do that, as Garnet’s “plan” required.)

Steven then huffed and walked downstairs, made extremely uncomfortable by all the cameras watching him. He then investigated the rest of the house, and found ten in the kitchen, thirty in the living room, five in the warp pad room, and none in the bathroom, which was a small blessing. Although he still suspected that they had audio bugs in there. Nevertheless, there was not a single place in the house Steven could be without being seen and/or heard. He then started checking his surroundings more frantically, walking in a random direction and then whipping around as fast as possible. He wasn’t exactly sure what he was going for, but Steven thought that maybe he’d see _something_ watching him if he was fast enough. The Gems maybe, coming out of their hiding places, or cameras that disappeared once seen, something he was sure Peridot could whip up on a lazy afternoon.

But there was nobody. The Gems weren’t here. He figured that they were still discussing what to do with him, and by the time Steven stopped twirling around and looking like a crazy person, he realized that he should just act like everything was fine, and ignore all the mechanical eyes watching him. If all the Gems were spying, then there was nothing he could do about it. If they weren’t and they were talking about what to do with him and how to repair Little Homeworld, then they wouldn’t be home for a long time. So Steven decided to just make the best of it for now and behave.

So he made himself some pasta as the sun vanished and the house darkened, the only lights he turned on being the overhead ones in the kitchen. He ate in silence, barely even breathing, and began to think about what all this meant. 

Even if Connie forgave him, her parents certainly wouldn’t, and just like he feared he’d be banned from seeing her for a good long while. As if he wasn’t already. Garnet was quite clear about the whole “no outside communication unless we allow it” thing, one that she had repeated so many times it was practically burned into Steven’s brain. He almost began to cry at the prospect of never seeing his girlfriend again, but quickly shoved a few noodles into his mouth to calm himself. If he wanted to cry, he could do it quietly under his covers once all the lights were off. Not here, where there were fifty cameras zooming in on him, looking for the smallest change in facial expression.

He sighed and then moved onto the Gems. All seven of them, obviously not including all the ones from Little Homeworld he didn’t know quite as well. Their stares, as stated earlier, told him enough. They had lost their trust in him, just like the Other Side said they had. He was sure that earning that trust back would be anything _but_ easy, if it was even possible. Bismuth and Lapis had to take an emergency visit to his mother’s fountain to fix their Gems, and Steven could bear to look them in the eye as he walked past on the way to the van.

And he was sure that _they_ couldn’t either. They were two of his best and most trusted friends, and now he had literally splintered that friendship. They had been healed physically of course, even if finding all the pieces that fell off of Bismuth required some...searching, but in the end, the mental scars from that were sure to leave deep wounds. And he recalled how they had looked at him while telling the story. During the part where he was telling them about the urge to “let go” and how it was irresistible thanks to the Captain/Mirror/whatever, Bismuth looked like she wanted to open her mouth and back him up, likely to say that he did tell her to “run” before exploding and thus saving her life. However, just before she did her eyes darted over towards Garnet, who was just strictly listening like the rest of them. Steven wasn’t sure _what_ expression had crossed Bismuth’s face after that, but the outcome was all the same. She shut her mouth and put on another blank stare, as if Garnet had somehow hypnotized her with nothing but a glance. 

It was also suspiciously similar to how _everyone_ had been acting, when Steven thought _they_ wanted to say something but didn’t, or rather _couldn’t_ , almost like they had been ordered not to. 

And as Steven emptied the pasta dish and washed it in the sink, he came to realize that they probably _had_ been given an order. Almost certainly by Garnet, if Bismuth’s actions were anything to go by. But this didn’t surprise Steven as much as he thought it would. The fusion no doubt had a plan after all. Looking through timelines and trying to figure out which was the best one to go with. And if the best one required his friends and family to not say certain things to him, then so be. At this point, Steven was grateful for _anything_ that resembled how things usually were. And just talking to him, even in this manner, was one of those things.

But they weren’t here to talk to him now. And Steven wasn’t about to talk to himself just so he could feel better. Instead, he finished washing his dish and clambered into the shower, silently thanking Garnet or Pearl or whoever for persuading Peridot to only put audio jacks in there and not cameras. Of course, he didn’t know that was what _really_ happened, but he had a feeling. Peridot was not one to respect privacy when it comes to things like this, and since she had already seen some...things while living in his bathroom, she wouldn’t shy away from watching him in there at all hours of the day. 

At least, assuming that the cameras in here weren’t invisible…

But Steven shook his head and turned on the shower the second that thought entered his head. He was supposed to be acting like nothing was wrong here. That’s what the Gems wanted to see. If he started acting up, then somebody would come to try and calm him down. And that was the last thing he wanted. While he did want to see his friends again, and converse with them like normal people, he figured that their method of “calming him down” would be knocking him out or incapacitating him and then putting him in a cell in case he turned pink again. That, or they could just warp him to a desolate planet. Neither of these options was to his liking, so Steven simply ignored the thoughts and moved on with his evening routine. 

However, once the shower started and heated up to an acceptable level, he didn’t particularly do anything. He didn’t wash his hair, or any other part of his body for that matter. He just stood and stared at the floor, letting the water splash against his head and run down his back. It eventually reached a point where it began to get rather cold, so he just twisted the knob further and brought it back up to hot. That should have been a sign that he was in there longer than he thought he had, but Steven just ignored it and continued doing nothing. Of course, he didn’t realize _how_ long until he heard a knocking on the door and jumped slightly. 

He pulled the curtain aside the tiniest bit and gazed at the door like an axe murderer would come in at any second and stab him to death. His heartbeat began racing faster and faster, as did his breathing, to the point where he was almost hyperventilating. Steven suddenly felt an urge to grab the nearby towel bar to defend himself, until a voice came through the wood and made all his anxious thoughts look foolish.

“Steven?” It said. _Pearl_. “Are you okay in there? You’ve been showering for almost an hour. I’m just checking to make sure that you’re okay.”

‘An hour? Has it really been that long?’ Steven thought, before glancing around for a clock that wasn’t there. He paused to slap himself in the face (for both looking at the imaginary clock _and_ not keeping track of how much time had passed) and then answered, not wanting Pearl to awkwardly burst in and check on him. 

“I’m fine.” He said dryly. “Just...thinking about things.”

“Well...okay,” Pearl said. “But I’m here now. Back from a meeting at Little Homeworld. Just call out if you need anything!”

And with that, Pearl walked away, her footsteps creaking against the floor. Steven groaned and shoved the curtain back in place, before grabbing the bottle of shampoo he had and quickly washing his hair. His dad still paid all the bills, and even if he was rich, Steven would rather not make him pay quadruple digits on the water bill. If he took showers like this every day, he’d be out of cash by the end of the month. Thirty seconds later, he turned the water off and wrapped a towel around himself. And then he did the same with three more, with only his eyes showing like some kind of mummy. He stayed like this for a few minutes, covered in what could be called a towel suit of armor, before abruptly throwing them all off and hanging them back up. He put on the change of clothes that he had placed in the bathroom earlier and then left, bracing himself for his first real interaction alone with Pearl ever since what he was sure would soon be known as “the incident”.

And there she was. Standing near the sink, taking all the dishes out of the cupboards, cleaning them by hand, and then putting them back with some kind of color-coded rearrangement. Steven tried to sneak past her to get up the stairs, but to no avail. His feet landed on one of the creaky floorboards and made a sound like something out of a cliche horror movie. Pearl whipped around and the two stared at each other for a second, in the same way a wolf might stare at a rabbit.

But then the wolf put on a smile and a tone that Steven thought he’d never hear from her again, especially not this early.

“Are you heading up to bed already, Steven?” She asked. “I was wondering if you wanted to play a game or something.”

‘A _game?_ ’ Steven thought. ‘What? What is she talking about? She’s not usually one to play games...board or otherwise. And if she does, we always have to drag her in to play it. Every time she says something like “I don’t see the point of this plastic and cardboard human entertainment device. Here, let me tell you a story from the war about me and Rose. If you want entertainment, I have plenty of it…”, or something equally similar.’ He recalled, hearing every word perfectly in his head. ‘Is this part of Garnet’s plan to help me, the same way my dad and Bismuth not talking were part of it? Or is this just some attempt to cheer me up, assuming she believes that I’m not in the best of moods after the incident and the consequences thereafter…’

There was only one way to find out.

“Ummm…” He stuttered. “What kind of game? Because I’m _really_ tired, so I’m not sure if I’m in the mood for-”

“Oh, don’t worry,” Pearl said. “It’s one that I created myself. It’ll only take a few seconds.”

“What’s it called?” Steven asked.

“It’s called “Why are you lying to us and making everything difficult like you always do”?” Pearl said casually, tilting her head and smiling even wider at the boy. Steven choked on nothing as she said this and backed away, horrified by the words that had spewed out of Pearl’s mouth. “Would you like to know how to play?”

“N-no.” He said, scooting towards the stairs. “In fact, I think I’m going to-”

“Where are you going, Steven?” Pearl asked, tilting her head at him. “Are you running away again? Running from all your problems? Shoving them _deep_ down where no one will ever find them? It didn’t work so well last time.”

At this point, Steven really _was_ hyperventilating and had pressed himself up against the wall farthest from Pearl. But every second she took another step closer to him, and Steven went to his left until he moved past the bathroom door and hit a corner. His eyes darted over towards the warp pad, but Pearl made a sound of disapproval the second he spotted them.

“Don’t even think about it.” She said. “You’d never make it in time before I catch you. Unless tag is the game you want to play, but I don’t. And remember what Garnet said. If you break the rules she set in place, you’ll be put back into that cell, Steven. Don’t make us do that to you. It was painful enough the first time.”

“P-Pearl…” He mumbled. “Please don’t...what are you talking…” Steven slammed his eyes shut as tears trickled out of them. “Please get away from me...I don’t want to hurt you again.”

“Oh, Steven, we know you’d _never_ mean to hurt us,” Pearl said. “At least, we thought you did. But then the incident at Little Homeworld occurred, and well, we understand. We see your true colors now. If you want to hurt us, that’s alright. Just unleash those urges on yourself and no one will complain, Steven. It’s perfectly normal for someone like you.”

“True colors…? No! I never wanted to hurt you guys! What are you talking about, Pearl?!” He begged. “Please...just let me go up to my room. I...I can’t. I can’t talk about this right now. Please, Pearl.” He sobbed. “I don’t why you’re talking like this, but _please!_ I can’t-”

“ _I_ can’t let you leave, Steven. We haven’t finished playing our game!” She said, before suddenly summoning her spear and pointing it at him. “Now, it’s in the name. Why are you still lying? We know how you feel. That blast you sent at us is proof enough. You don’t have to hide your feelings anymore!”

“I’m not _hiding_ them!” He shouted, frantically looking for a way out. “I told you the truth! That story-”

“Was another lie. And we taught you never to lie, Steven.” Pearl crowed. “But that’s also okay. Tomorrow, we’ll just have you tell us the truth and everything can go back to normal! You can see Connie again, help us fix Little Homeworld, and make everything better! Isn’t that nice?”

“Wha-NO!” He shrieked. “No, what are you...that’s it!” Steven growled. “What is wrong with you, Pearl?! Why are you acting like this?! I know that I hurt you, I know that I hurt a lot of people, but if this is part of Garnet’s “plan” to help me, then you need to stop! Whatever she’s telling you to do, _you_ have to know that it isn’t worth putting me through this!”

“Oh, Steven…” Pearl whispered. “There is no plan. Garnet told us to do what we felt was right. And since I _hate_ it whenever you lie to us, I think a punishment is in order.”

She took another step closer, her spear raised in the air. Pearl’s eyes were now a pale pink, while the world behind her outside the window had turned a similar color. The ocean looked like it had during Spinel’s attack. The sky was how it had been in the mindscape, minus the crack. And the sand wasn’t even there, replaced with a solid material that looked like it was made out of his Gem.

Which is exactly the thing that Pearl pointed her spear at next. 

“Stay still, Steven, this won’t hurt a bit.” She said. “Well, it might, but I have good faith that you can endure it. You’ve endured so much during your time as a Crystal Gem, and although I’m sad that that time has to come to a close, it’s nice that I was there to see it.”

“C-come to a close…?” Steven said softly, before he gasped and looked down at his Gem. “W-Wait! Pearl! Whatever you’re thinking of doing, don’t-”

“It’s alright, Steven. Isn’t this what you wanted? To be free of any problems?” Pearl asked, almost in a motherly tone. “I have a solution to this whole mess, which doubles as your punishment I suppose. That explosion you caused was due to you not having enough control of Pink’s Gem, just like we feared you wouldn’t. After White, I thought you had mastered it, but evidently not.” She sighed and frowned before smiling again. “But this is the solution. We can simply take your Gem out and let it reform into Pink, who can refine into Rose. Isn’t it wonderful?! You’ll get to see your mother again!”

‘Oh my god, what is _happening_ right now?!’ Steven thought, searching for a logical explanation of what he was seeing but finding none. “Pearl, if you take my Gem out, I’ll die! And it won’t reform into mom! It’ll just reform into a pink version of me-”

“I know, which is why I’m going to rejuvenate it before it reforms,” Pearl said, making Steven’s voice die in his throat. “And once it turns back into Rose, she can heal you with her tears and we can all live together again!”

“No…Pearl...don't...” Steven started to say, before deciding to just go for it. Without warning he bolted for the warp pad, moving faster than he ever thought he could. But he was one millisecond too late. Just before his foot touched the surface, he felt Pearl tackle him from behind. The two landed on the other side of it and Steven scrambled to get away like a fish out of water, but Pearl grabbed him by his collar and forced him up. Steven’s heart began pounding in his ears as the lanky Gem lifted up the bottom of his shirt with her spear and tapped it with a soft _clink_.

“Pearl…” He wailed, kicking his legs frantically. “I’m sorry! I’m sorry! I’m sorry if you thought I lied! I’m sorry for hurting you and Connie like that! Just please! Please don’t hurt me-e-e-e!” Tears streamed down from his face and dripped onto the floor below, and Pearl watched them drop with a mournful look in her eye.

“I’m sorry for having to do this, Steven.” She said. “But as I told you, don’t worry. Soon, everything will be better. All you have to do...is let go of that Gem, and don’t fight it.”

“No! Nononononono!” Steven screeched, squirming to get out of Pearl’s grip. But she held on to him, her fingers as tough as iron, and a second later he tensed up at the cold sensation of her spear touching the skin right around his Gem. She took a deep breath, shut out his pleas for her to stop, and then drew her arm back.

And as Pearl thrust it forward, Steven saw a flash of red, an immense stinging pain, he _screamed_ as highly as his lungs would allow him, and that was the last thing he saw before darkness flooded his vision and everything faded away into nothing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next chapter will likely be dropping earlier, due to how short this one was compared to the others. Just thought I should let everybody know. But yeah, I suppose “odd” was a bit of an understatement. But as promised, this craziness will be cleared up next time. So...thank you for reading this chapter.


	21. Inside

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, a quick note, I am sorry that the chapter I promised would drop early did not do as such, as there were some circumstances that prevented me from doing so. But rest assured, the next chapter will be dropped in the next five days instead of the usual ten, and if it is not, then you all have permission to write comments yelling at me to post it already.

“AHHHHHHHHH!” Steven shrieked, his throat immediately aching at the insanely loud noise that exploded from it. He shot up and scooted backwards as fast as he could, practically turning into a blur until he eventually hit the bed board. He frantically scanned his surroundings, only to see his bedroom, the same as it had been for two years, minus the tv and a few other things. But even though this confirmed that what just happened was a mere dream, started gagging like he was going to throw up, before several voices from downstairs interrupted his retching.

“He’s screaming! Blast shield! Blast shield! Sound the-” 

“It’s not that type of scream, Amethyst! He was just having a nightmare! Go up and check on him!”

“Why did I have to do it?!” 

“Because you keep overreacting over stuff like this! You keep freaking him out! So go up and help him!”

“Ugh...fine…”

Steven turned towards the stairs as he heard someone coming up them, clutching his pillow as if for dear life. His door swung open and revealed Amethyst, a can of soda in one hand, looking extremely disheveled and irritated. What _she_ saw was Steven, sitting up on his bed, an expression of terror on his face as he continued to hyperventilate.

“...Another nightmare?” She sighed. 

Steven paused and stared straight in front of him, ripping his eyes away from Amethyst. ‘R-right.’ He thought. ‘Just another nightmare. Just a dream, Steven. It was just a dream. Pearl wouldn’t do that to you. Pearl wouldn’t…’ He hesitated to continue any further, the feeling of Pearl’s spear cutting a hole into his abdomen and the sting of her voice informing him that he was lying still fresh in his mind. Steven gulped and curled into a tight ball, wishing Amethyst would leave so that he could cry about it by himself.

But instead, he nodded slightly and opened his mouth, the words coming out of them trembling and pitiful.

“Y-yeah.” He said. “Just another nightmare.”

“Which one was it this time?” Amethyst asked. “The one where Pearl threatens to take out your Gem or the one where you’re back in that mindscape with “Mirror”? Or was it one of the less common ones?”

“T-the first one,” Steven said softly.

Amethyst nodded and turned her head towards the stair. “Garnet!” She yelled. “We got another Pearl one! Same as last night!”

Garnet’s voice rang out from the other room, monotone and emotionless as ever. It reminded Steven of the way she talked before Little Homeworld was founded, when she was a lot less likely to open up to people. “Noted.” She said. “I’ll go tell Pearl that it’d be best if she didn't see him for a few hours, in the event that she might trigger a relapse.”

“Kay,” Amethyst said, before looking back at Steven. “So, you okay, dude? You uh...want me to make you any breakfast?”

Steven nodded. “Just some cereal, please. The kind with the frost-covered flake things...” He requested.

“Frost-covered flakes. Coming right up. And don’t forget to make a checkbook in your journal!” Amethyst reminded him, and without saying another word she turned around and headed back down the stairs, quickly vanishing from sight. Once she was gone, Steven sighed and flopped onto his bed, taking a moment to stare at the ceiling. But a second later, he reached over and grabbed the small notebook and pen next to his bed without even looking at them, opening it up to the page the pen had been jammed in. There he saw the descriptions of the previous two days' nightmares, and he popped the cap off with his teeth and held it there. 

He sat up again and began to write, doing his best to keep it legible despite how shaky his hands were. The horrors that he witnessed in that nightmare were still haunting him, but Garnet told him that it’s best to write his dreams (nightmares) down as soon as possible after he woke up, so he didn’t forget anything important. He wrote down the events of the entire dream, making sure not to miss a single thing. Him coming home, the conversation with Greg, making the spaghetti, taking the shower, and then the incident with Pearl. All in such detail that it could be considered excessive. By the time he was done it had taken up a full page, and Steven flipped to the next, recapped the pen, put it back in the book, and set it on his bedside table again.

He then sat in silence before tightly and painfully pinching his forearm, making sure that he wasn’t in a dream in a dream. He had already experienced those kinds of nightmares several times, and although they were rare, he didn’t want to take the risk of what happened the first time. He had just woken up from a nightmare where Connie flatlined in the hospital, screaming as usual of course. _All_ the Gems came in and attempted to comfort him, and frankly, he should have known that something was wrong right then and there. But he was so overjoyed that they were actually hugging him, _helping_ him after a nightmare and not just telling him to write it down before going about with their day.

Until, of course, they started bleeding from their eyes, noses, and mouths which dripped onto him like a waterfall. 

But it wasn’t blood. It was their _color._ The more they bleed, the less colorful they got. The hues in their skin and their clothes faded to grayscale as they bled more and more, and with them hugging him as tightly as they did, to the point where he couldn’t get out of their grip, soon Steven resembled a liquid rainbow, the only thing coming out of his mouth being muffled screams when he realized what was happening. Eventually, they went completely grey and let go, smiling at him the same way they did when they were possessed by White. Like always in these dreams, Steven tried to run, and like always, he was caught. The Gems took hold of him again and raised him towards the sky, and the roof of the whole house was suddenly ripped off by a gigantic hand belonging to none other than his least favorite Diamond. White stood over them all, a sickening grin spread from ear to ear like something out of a horror movie. She reached down with her fingernails, grabbed his head, and squeezed. Steven wailed as he felt his skull popping like a grape before he woke up again, crying and screaming as per usual.

This time, all the Gems _did_ go to see if he was okay, only for him to run away from them, running straight through the plaster that Bismuth had placed in front of his window like something out of a cartoon. He didn’t care where he was going, or that he was breaking the rules. All he wanted was to get away from _them_.

Greg was the one who found him, coming for his daily morning visit. Steven ran right into his father and began babbling nonsense, pleading for him to keep him away from the house and its occupants. The two remained on the beach for what felt like hours, Greg holding Steven tightly in his arms as he cried. It was only a matter of time before Steven wore himself out and allowed his father to carry him back to the house, although Garnet took special precautions to make sure that she and the other Gems weren’t around him for the rest of the day. Somehow, it seemed that she knew exactly what his dream had been.

This was a week ago. And only one of many examples of his dreams within dreams that had become increasingly more common. They were usually the worst ones, the most vivid, the ones that were the hardest to wake up from. Of course, _every_ nightmare he had was so realistic that he was completely convinced they were real, but those...they were so real that Steven sometimes swore he had been teleported to an actual parallel universe, and had warped back just before he was about to die. He himself knew that it was nonsense, but it was honestly the best explanation he could come up with, because people aren’t supposed to feel _actual_ pain in dreams, right?

Right?

Wrong, of course. Because Steven knew better than anyone just how easily fake pain could become real thanks to the mind. His experience in that burning landscape that Pink Steven had created was proof enough of that. An event of which he still was unaware of the true purpose of. Whatever Pink Steven had been trying to accomplish by doing that, he failed, and Steven was tempted to just tear out his Gem and demand an answer for why he put him through such torment.

But he couldn’t. Because he was sure that Pink Steven would just stare at him stoically and then forcefully re-fuse with him. That, or not come out at all. Steven wasn’t sure just how powerful the effects of Emerald’s “imprisonment” were, but if they removed his ability to form after being removed, then that would be the end of him. He’d be dead, and far too weak to call out for any kind of help.

But Pink Steven and that Other Side were not his main concern right now. As interesting as the memories of that encounter were (not to mention downright infuriating at times), Steven seldom focused on it. He was more focused on what was happening in the world around him, and what the Gems were planning.

Let’s get back to that, shall we?

What had _really_ happened that day, after he spilled the beans and told them everything, was complicated. Instead of leaving him out of the conversation and letting others decide his fate like so many of his dreams had claimed, Steven was the main speaker of how they should deal with his little...problem. He had suggested that they take this to the Diamonds, something he never thought he’d do, but at this point Steven was desperate. It was clear that Earth matters and therapy were not enough to handle this, and that help from his _other_ family might be the solution.

Until, of course, Pearl pointed out that the therapy _had_ been working. Steven had been improving vastly before this. It was just until his manifestation of the pink form (which he quietly corrected as the “Other Side”) and his Gem took over before going full mind control on him was where the real problem started. And then there was, of course, the matter involving Emerald, Mirror, the two Gems they sent on some kind of mission, and the way his death would be beneficial to them all. Peridot suggested that they up security in the meantime, in case of a possible assassination attempt, until Steven recalled something and made the already convoluted situation even _more_ confusing.

He claimed that Mirror could have already killed him back there, or worse if he wanted to. Pink Steven had said that he planned to take over his, or _their,_ body, so he could fix the situation himself. And the way he said it made Steven think that Pink Steven thought he was entirely capable of doing it at a whim. Therefore, if Mirror and Emerald took him out and locked him away as easily as they did, then it’d make sense that they would be able to overpower _him_ as well and take control. From there, they could just make him walk out in the ocean and drown himself, or jump off a cliff. If they wanted him dead _right now_ , then he'd already be a corpse.

After that, a few minutes of silence followed, as if everyone was thinking about what they should do and if any of this made sense. Pearl whispered in Garnet’s ear if there was a possibility that Steven was lying, and the fusion bluntly and loudly responded with a “no”, almost as if the question had irritated her. But soon enough, Peridot said “I got nothing” and made a comment about how they weren’t going to accomplish anything by just standing there and making up theories. Everyone else agreed, and Peridot made a plan on how they should try to take a look inside Steven’s mind (with a machine specially built by her if course), to see if they could go inside it and accomplish the same things that the Other Side, Pink Steven, and Mirror accomplished. 

She claimed that if she could somehow do that and gain the same level of power that they did, then it _might_ be possible for her to track down Mirror’s whereabouts through the use of a “mental footprint”, something that Steven was sure she had just made up. After that, they could call the Diamonds and anyone else they thought was necessary, go to the interstellar coordinates that they gained from the brain infiltration, and find out what exactly they wanted and why. It was risky, and a stretch, but the green Gem said that when it came to finding this person, then it was the best option they had.

Everyone agreed with this plan, especially Pearl and Amethyst, because if Peridot was going to be focusing on that whole part of the problem then _they_ could be focusing on the other part: Steven. With his therapist having quit, a fact that they had begrudgingly informed him of, Steven would need help from someone else. The explosion might have been the fault of another, but that didn’t change the fact that the pink form was still a problem in and of itself. They needed to help him control it, in case Mirror or anyone else came back and made him scream again. And since Peridot was working on Mirror’s case, she was out. So that left the rest of them to figure out matters.

Which...did not go well.

Bismuth suggested putting him in the shelter for the time being, where he had all his amenities and needs taken care of. Food, water, bathrooms, entertainment, beds, even an emergency air supply that was better than the air on the surface. He could live down there for _years_ by himself, and allow the Gems to come up with plenty of solutions to assist him in fixing his mental state and ridding it of any...outside influences.

But Steven shut that down immediately. Not only because he didn’t want to go back to the shelter anytime soon after the whole “stairs” thing that he went through in the mindscape (months later, he would still shudder any time he remembered it), but also because it wouldn’t work. If he went pink and blew up, then the explosion would just tear through the shelter and ground and explode onto the surface like an oil well. _Then_ they’d have to deal with hundreds of tons of rocks flying in every direction. And before Bismuth could comment on how Steven’s outbursts weren’t powerful enough to destroy the shelter, he made one of his own pointing out just how easily he had already destroyed the structures created by her across Little Homeworld. _And_ the fact that he probably hadn’t even begun to tap into what he was fully capable of, if what Pink Steven and the Other Side said about him being “the most powerful Gem in the universe” and having the capacity to kill all his friends were true.

So Bismuth’s plan was not an option. And Lapis was up next. _She_ suggested that they put him in the middle of the ocean on an outpost, thousands of miles away from everyone else. He’d have all the same supplies as the shelter, as well as it’s strength to protect him from any sea storms, hurricanes, and the like, but being that far away from any landmass provided an immense sense of security. If he went pink, there wouldn’t be anyone for him to hurt, especially since the last one had proven that his explosions never harm himself. They could also put a warp pad on it, so the Gems _and_ Greg (and maybe Connie, depending on how that all went) could visit him whenever they wanted. Safe, secure, and posing a threat to no one.

But Steven was quick to put out the numerous flaws in this plan. One. Yes, it was thousands of miles away from any coastline inhabited by humans. However, as stated before, he didn’t know just how powerful his outbursts could get. In an absolute worst-case scenario, he might release so much energy that the sheer force alone would create a massive tidal wave. “Enter any tsunami disaster movie, and that is what will happen”, he said. “Once that energy reaches the coast, it’ll bring all the water with it and destroy anything in its path. Something of that magnitude could _literally_ be world ending, especially since it’d be going in every direction. Entire countries would be submerged, and that many people dying at once could destabilize the planet. And while this might not happen at all, I think it’s too much of a risk.” He then sighed. “ _And_ then I’d be stranded in the middle of the ocean for who knows how long, because something like that would definitely wipe the...outpost or whatever you’d build for me off the map. I’m sorry if it sounds harsh, Lapis, but that’s just what I think is going to happen.”

The blue Gem paused and then nodded, seeing the logic in this. Garnet didn’t say anything, only adjusting her visors. Steven thought that she was checking the future, about what would happen if this was the option they took. When the fusion grimaced and lowered her head somewhat, Steven knew that he had been correct. After all, it was the exact same thing she did for Bismuth’s suggestion. But his one question was why she wasn’t interrupting or making her own suggestions.

A question for another time, however, as Pearl laid out her suggestion next. The idea was to take him off-world. Even if the empire had been dismantled, there were still hundreds of planets under the control of the Diamonds, more than a few of them completely devoid of life for him to harm. He could release a shockwave powerful enough to destroy a continent and harm nothing other than a few stray bacteria, the only remnants of the life that once thrived on that world. And they’d check in on him every day, at a specific time, to make sure that the warp pad wasn’t damaged or destroyed, and if it was then they would travel there through the use of a random spaceship and pick him up. Then they’d rebuild, and keep helping him through it until the problem was solved.

Of course, as an extra precaution, Steven would have to press a button at that time every day to alert the Gems that it was safe to warp there and that he wasn’t pink. After all, if they arrived and the landscape suddenly blew up in their faces, then that would be most unfortunate. But with this system, danger upon arrival was simply an impossibility.

After Pearl finished, Steven sighed again. But it wasn’t a “that plans not going to work” sigh. The plan was perfect after all. Unless a massive asteroid suddenly fell from space and took everything out, or a black hole appeared and swallowed the planet, _or_ anything like that that Steven had no control of, he couldn't see anything wrong with it. Pearl has come up with a solution that was perfect for containing his pink form whilst providing no harm to anyone else.

But the solution wasn’t perfect for _him_. 

Steven didn't like it. He didn’t like _any_ of the three options that had been presented to him. And all for one reason. They required him to be by himself most of the time. They required him to not see his friends and family when he wanted to. They required him to be a _prisoner_ with minimal visiting hours. _That_ was what he got from their “solutions”.

They required him to be alone. They required his friends to leave him. Which is _exactly_ what he was scared of in the first place. Pretty much one of the main reasons he turned pink and almost exploded on his own. He quickly explained this to everyone present, and the general mood took a complete 180. There was a simultaneous “oooooh…” across the three Gems, who now looked like they regretted ever opening their mouths.

And then Amethyst spoke up. Her solution was simple. They don’t place him anywhere special. They don’t put him in some secret vault, or an outpost in the middle of an ocean, or on some desolate rock of a planet. Rather, they keep him where he already was: At the Temple, living with them, as per usual. 

Immediately several voices sprang up in protest, complaining about how this solution was far too dangerous and risky, even more so than the others. But as Pearl, Bismuth, and Lapis loudly voiced their complaints, they were all interrupted when Garnet summoned a single gauntlet, raised it in the air, and then snapped her fingers. The resulting mini-shockwave shut everyone up and made their hair move like it was being blown in a strong wind, and all eyes were set upon the fusion.

“Let her speak.” Garnet had said. “I predict that this plan has a greater chance of success than any that you three came up with.”

And if there was _anything_ that would have gotten them to be quiet and simply listen to Amethyst, it was that. The purple Gem thanked Garnet and then went back to explaining her plan. For simply putting Steven in the house and hoping that nothing would happen was not the full of it. They’d have specific guidelines. First up, protection. Due to the Temple being right next to Beach City, they couldn’t just keep him there and expect nothing to come of it. If he blew up again, or created another “oxygen-destroying” aura (something that Peridot had put as number two on her list of things to investigate), then they had to have something that would enable them to protect the city and what remained of Little Homeworld. Even if the initial idea was to keep him in a safe and familiar environment, it still needed to be secure.

The first line of protection were blast shields all around the house. In the event of an outburst, they would be activated through the use of several buttons placed throughout the structure. The shields were gigantic metal plates that erupted from the roof and covered the whole house, and were designed to absorb shockwave-based impacts. Although far from perfect, as a good deal of modern Gem weaponry and even some human weaponry could get through it given enough time, the plates _should_ absorb enough of the energy that it’d only be ten percent as strong by the time it broke out of the barrier. Even if the pulse he let out was powerful enough to wipe all of Beach City off the map, by the time it broke out of the barrier all it’d manage to do was blow out some windows. 

The shields themselves were made of an extremely durable and flexible tungsten alloy that was created by Peridot and Bismuth after many painstaking hours in the forge. They came out of a large cylindrical device located on the top of the house, and when activated shot out and covered the structure in a giant dome. Of course, the person that activated the device would have to be inside at the time, and would likely die from the shockwave, but it was worth it to protect the city and Little Homeworld, along with their inhabitants.

That was the first line of defense, and technically, the only _real_ one. That was all they needed to protect people from Steven’s explosions, as well as all they could get their hands on. And while they could go to Homeworld and ask for some force-field technology that could likely withstand almost anything Steven threw at it, that’d require asking the Diamonds for assistance, which would eventually lead to them learning about the specifics of the situation. And not only did Steven not want them involved, but Garnet also made a note on how it’d be “better” if they stayed out of this for now. It was possible that they would become a part of this eventually, but as for right now they _definitely_ shouldn’t.

So the blast shield was what they had in that department. The _other_ department was how they were going to deal with healing Steven and helping him through this. Amethyst made several suggestions. Now that his therapist had quit, as mentioned earlier, they were going to need someone to help him heal and to prevent something like this from happening again. A replacement. They went through a lot of options. There weren’t really that many Gems in Little Homeworld that could be considered therapists, and any who could were not that knowledgeable in human emotions, only Gem ones. They would not be of much help to him. But it _had_ to be a Gem, because if they hired another human then they might just turn out the same way as the last one. Quitting because they couldn’t handle the truth about all the crazy stuff that had happened or almost happened to Earth the past six thousand years or so.

And when it came to that department...they were still searching. They hadn’t found any Gems that were as good with human emotions as his old therapist was, or anyone who could relate with what he was going through. Two weeks later, the search was still happening.

So yeah. But then there was the third defense. The _rules_. The same ones that had been burned into his brain. No electronics, no visitors unless the Gems allowed it, no warp pad, etc, etc. Amethyst’s reasoning behind this was that he was always so fixated on those things. He was costly checking his phone and computer to see if he had any messages from his friends, the visitors _reminded_ him of his friends, and the warp pad...well, they couldn’t just have him go off and do whatever he wished. If he was consistently warping to the middle of the desert and screaming out his hate with the whole situation, then it’d undo a _lot_ of progress. Those types of screams, even if they were to relieve stress, were not allowed. The whole point was to _avoid_ any explosions if at all possible. 

After this suggestion was made, Steven once again complained, repeating that his whole problem with the previous three situations was the fact that he wasn’t seeing anybody, and _this_ only allowed him to see a maximum of...seven people? Eight if you counted Garnet as two, which he didn’t, but whatever. Greg, Pearl, Garnet, Amethyst, Peridot, Bismuth, and Lapis. Steven had a feeling (one that turned out to be correct, unfortunately) that those were the only “visitors” that they’d allow to see him, and three of those weren’t even visitors at all. 

Steven was quick to state that he got the rest, the blast shield and the therapist, but cutting him off from _everyone_ would not help. He liked going to the fry and pizza shop and hanging out there. He liked going to Little Homeworld and checking up on all the Gems. He liked hanging out on the boardwalk, seeing Mr. Smiley, Onion, and everyone else. Those people were the only ones he had left really. Everyone else had gone into space or left Beach City, and it's not like _Connie_ would get to see him any time soon, something that he was sure to make note of. Pearl responded softly, in a tone that showed she had no idea what she was talking about.

“Now Steven…” She had said. “I’m sure you’ll get to visit her in the hospital. In fact, after this is finished, I think you should head over there as fast as you can so you can heal her and-”

“Not an option.” Steven had said, shaking his head. “Pearl, did you see the extent of her injuries?”

“Um...yes.” The lanky Gem replied. “Why, is there anything-”

“You saw them. I only _heard_ about them. Fractured skull, a giant gash on her forehead thanks to a flying rock, all because of me. However, again, I only _heard_ about it. But you _saw_ them. You were _there_ when she received them.” He said. “And you know just how protective her parents are of her. So...seeing what _I_ had done to her...do you really think they’re even going to let me be in the same building as her?”

Pearl was hesitant to respond, as was anyone else. At least the ones who had met Connie’s parents. As for the other three, they were just confused, with Bismuth casting a look at Garnet that said “please explain”, to which the fusion did not.

Steven let out a puff of air. “That’s what I thought.” He said, before casting a glance at a nearby chair and sitting in it. His eyelids were trembling, advertising to the world the fact that he was struggling not to cry. “I may as well accept it. Even if I get better, my relationship with Connie is broken _forever_. She’ll never forgive me for this, and I’m betting the same goes for the rest of you.” Steven wiped a tear away from his eye, before mumbling, “It was just the Other Side said. All my friends are leaving because of me, and soon I’ll have no one left.”

And after _that_ little announcement, Garnet finally spoke up, something that she had done quite little of in the past twelve hours.

“No.” She had said. “That entity inside your mind was incorrect. Your friends are not leaving because of you. They are simply pursuing their own endeavors. This incident was _not your fault_ Steven. Mirror, who we _will_ find and punish for this, is to blame. Your mind was hijacked. Your emotions were tampered with. You were forced to see illusions, and there was nothing you could-”

“I _know_ , Garnet, I know.” Steven then interjected. “It’s not my fault. I couldn’t do anything to stop it. I couldn’t stop the Other Side from influencing me with its poison. I couldn’t stop pink me from making me see all those horrible things for whatever reason, and I couldn’t stop Emerald or Mirror. But it _doesn’t_ change a thing. Even if the others didn’t leave because of me, Connie will. I wouldn’t be surprised if her parents left town after this. And I’m sure she’d be more than happy to accompany them…”

Garnet paused and then turned to the others. “Leave.” She demanded. “Steven and I need a moment alone to talk.”

Without hesitating, the six Gems and one human in the room left and went to go help with the endless cleanup of Little Homeworld, Garnet’s tone indicating that what she said was _not_ a request. It was an order. Once they were all gone and out of earshot, she kneeled down and got to his level, Steven’s tired, weary face reflecting in her visors.

“Listen to me, Steven.” She said. “Connie will understand. Her parents will understand. If you want me to, I will go to the hospital and explain everything to them just like you did. How the entity you subconsciously created and Mirror took over and caused all of this. _Not_ you. You told me just a second ago that you already knew that. And it is true. We have repeated that fact to you several times over the past few hours. Every time you started crying, or looking like you were about to have another meltdown.”

“...”

“...”

“...Are you waiting for me to say something?”

“I _was_ expecting you to say, “yes, I know, Garnet, I was there, just get to the point”.” The fusion said, with the smallest hint of a smile. “But I suppose you decided against it.”

“I _did_ say it in my mind. Does that count?”

“Not in the slightest,” Garnet said. “But we have repeated it to you because you are having trouble _believing_ it for yourself. Each time you passed it off, claimed that it was your fault from the beginning. That you hurt Connie and Bismuth and Lapis and Larimar and all of Little Homeworld. And perhaps that is true from some perspective. But from the _right_ perspective, it is not. You were brainwashed, Steven. Into thinking that you created a-”

“But I _did_ create it,” Steven interjected. “That annoying Other Side...as much as I hate to say, making something like that so it can take the blames for my pink outbursts so I don’t feel bad for them is exactly what I’d do. Because I’ve been convincing myself that I’m fine, that there’s nothing wrong with me and that I can fix it. But the moment things started looking bad enough to the point where I _couldn’t_ fix it...that’s when everything went wrong.”

“And when was this moment?” Garnet asked. “That Other Side claimed it was created only a few hours before you met it. Tell me, why would it be made then? Even subconsciously. From what I can tell, you were having a very good day before then. You were happy. You had helped people, and you were looking forward to meeting Connie. So why would it be created then, Steven, at a time where everything was going right?”

“...I...I’m not sure…” Steven stuttered. “Perhaps it could have been a feeling that things were going to go wrong and that I wouldn’t be able to fix them, so then I made it and...and…” He hesitated and his shoulders dropped. “I don’t know.”

Garnet nodded and crouched down even further. “I think it lied to you, Steven. And not just about when it came into being. I believe it lied about _you_ creating as well.”

“B-but...like I said, the explanation makes-”

“Sense?” Garnet finished. “Or is that what it wanted you to think? Remember, Steven, it manipulated you. Along with the Pink Steven. The Other Side made you go pink. Your Gem half made you suffer an unbearable amount of horrors. All the while you sat in the middle, unable to do anything about it other than voice your complaints. Did it ever occur to you…” She then paused for a moment, wondering if she should say this next part. “...that they might have been working together towards a common goal, and _made_ you think that they were enemies?”

“...Wha-NO! THAT’S...that’s...” Steven started to shout, before he realized he was being much louder than needed. He then put both his hands up in front of his chest and lowered his head. “I’m sorry. I-I didn’t mean to overreact like that. It’s just...shocking to even think of them working together.”

“It’s alright. I was expecting that response anyway.” Garnet said. “And I also understand why you were so shocked. Based on what you told us, those two were far from friends.”

“That’s putting it lightly,” Steven said. “They absolutely _hated_ each other. I had to stop them from getting into arguments like five separate times, one of which I had to yell at them to shut up.” He shrugged and waved this off. “But you’re already aware of all this. I told everyone, after all.”

Garnet nodded again. “Quite. But do you think it’s possible that it was all a ruse?”

“Actually, I want to ask you something,” Steven said. “Why do _you_ think they could be working together? Did you somehow see it as a possibility in your future vision or are you just really good at seeing through things and figuring out the truth?”

“...The latter. Although I’m not as good as I’d like to be.” Garnet replied. “But the thing that made me suspicious was when you mentioned how Pink Steven said that he should destroy the Other Side, and that he would have to use another method to do it.”

“Yeah, I think we were getting to that, but then he trapped me in a firestorm,” Steven said. “I do wonder if he could have done that in the end, even without me…”

“And that’s why I’m suspicious. Assume that the Other Side was created only a few hours ago.” Garnet said, leaning closer. “Why would he allow its existence to continue? He clearly knew about it by the time he made himself known, so if he hated it that much after only a _few_ hours then why didn’t he choose to terminate the creature?”

“...Because I did create it? And he was unable to get rid of it because only I could do that?”

“Possibly. But there’s a hole in that story.” Garnet said. “Given what you’ve told us about Pink Steven, the way he acts and the fact that he wanted to kill even Lapis simply for existing upon first contact, I don’t think he would allow the Other Side to remain in your mind once he discovered what a threat it was. What a threat it was to _Steven.”_

“Now you’re sounding like him,” Steven mumbled, who now looked somewhat disturbed.

“And that’s good. Because pretend I’m him.” Garnet suggested. “I am Pink Steven. My goal is to protect Steven. I hate all threats to him. I hate Pink Diamond because of her memories and the influence of my human half. I hate most of my “friends” because they are part of the cause of my whole mental dilemma. I hate the Diamonds and Spinel and Jasper and practically every Gem in the galaxy with a name. I even hate the Blue Zircon that defended me at the trial, simply because she got ahead of herself and failed to convince the Diamonds of my innocence.”

“That’s...he never said that.” Steven pointed out.

“Do you think it’s something he would have said?”

Steven hesitated for a moment before letting out a soft, “yes”, acknowledging that that is the _exact_ kind of thing that Pink Steven would get angry at.

“Good,” Garnet said. “Now, I am Pink Steven. I am all of those things. I exist to protect Steven. Then one day, this “Other Side”, a manifestation of the pink form created by my human half, comes into being and starts wreaking havoc on Steven. Manipulation. Trickery. Arguments. All sorts of horrible things that will cause harm to Steven’s mind. What do you think I would do if I saw this happening? If I saw my human half come under distress because of this annoying, bothersome little thing that wasn’t supposed to have existed in the first place?”

“...You’d have destroyed it,” Steven said. “Without a second thought. But...but he couldn’t. Again, the Other Side claimed that only _I_ could destroy it because I was the one that created it in the first place. Pink Steven wouldn’t have been able to do anything assuming that was true, therefore...wait.” Steven was struck in the face with realization as he finally began to understand what Garnet was getting at. “...Wait. He should have tried to eliminate it right then and there. But if he didn’t-”

“Then I obviously had a reason,” Garnet said, still playing the part. “And even if I _did_ attack and try to destroy it, only to discover that I couldn’t, I would have learned that this being was outside of my control, and thus was made by the only other entity occupying Steven. My human half. Therefore, I shouldn’t have been surprised when the Other Side revealed this fact. I should have been aware of this information already. And yet, I was not. Or at least...that’s what I wanted _you_ to think.”

“But if he knew…” Steven said, before shaking his head and sputtering out more needless explanations. “No. Hold on. What if you _didn’t_ try to destroy the Other Side? What if you had wanted to see what this thing was up to in the end? Because you claimed multiple times that you’d do or allow anything for the betterment of Steven, even if it meant the death of friends!”

“Or sake of interest?” Garnet said, making Steven stop short. “Isn’t that what I initially claimed was the reason I spared Bismuth? Because I wanted to see what might happen next? And did I ever _really_ give you a proper explanation for that after you demanded it? Did you really discover the truth, or did I just lock you away in that apocalyptic illusion before I “got” the chance?”

“...No,” Steven said. “Now that I think about it, we just kept sidetracking over and over and over, never really getting anywhere. I think that whatever purpose that you created that inferno was, the fact that you didn’t want me to know that was one of them.”

“Yet another perfect example of me hiding the truth,” Garnet said. “But back to the Other Side. This is what Garnet thinks happened, Steven. The Other Side and I had an alliance from the very start. I was the _true_ creator of the Other Side, and I told my creation to tell _you_ that you made it so it could eventually lead up to the point where you got stuck in that inferno. Along the way, we faked arguments, manipulated your emotions, forced you to move your arm in the real world so Bismuth would knock you out and bring you to the mindscape, and most importantly, lied about _when_ I was created. I didn’t make the Other Side a few hours ago Steven.”

“Then when _did_ you make it?”

“...I’m not sure,” Garnet said. “But I have been planning this for a long time. Garnet believes that this entire event was overstated by me. The freakout. The Other Side. The mindscape. The memories. The questions. The inferno. All of it was planned down to the smallest detail. All we needed was a good opportunity. And after our fight with Jasper, we saw it and took it.”

“...I...that makes...sense?” Steven sputtered, as if he expected this long rant to be completely false in the end. But for some reason, the longer he thought about, the more Garnet’s assumption began to fit with what happened. Of course, the only piece of _real_ evidence was the whole “Pink Steven should have destroyed the Other Side but didn’t know that it was made by normal Steven and thus they are likely in cahoots”, but that alone was enough. Pink Steven was not one to make mistakes. That was the vibe Steven got from him. So for this to slip through...was not like him. Perhaps they just forgot about it? Hoped that Steven wasn’t clever enough to notice? Whatever the reason, he knew now, something he was sure they wanted to avoid.

“You…” Steven started. “But what about Mirror? And Emerald? Did you plan for that-”

“Mirror and Emerald were something we were definitely not expecting,” Garnet said. “We had no way to contact them beforehand, and thus it is illogical to think they all four of us were working together. They trapped me in your Gem, as they claimed, and my current status...is unknown.”

“Just like everything else,” Steven said. “So...to recap…Pink Steven and the Other Side were likely working together…”

“That’s right,” Garnet said, nodding.

“They were tricking me so I could eventually get to the inferno for an unknown reason, but then Emerald and Mirror showed up, messed up all their plans, and now I don’t know what happened to Pink Steven, and it’s possible that the Other Side was destroyed.”

Garnet nodded again. “Mhm.” She hummed. “That is the truth. Pink Steven…was not your ally in this situation.”

“But...what if he was trying to protect me?” Steven asked. “What if that inferno was some plan of theirs and they were trying to show me something?”

“Then they did a lousy job,” Garnet replied. “Whatever they were planning, it was not worth it to put you through that kind of torment. They should have been able to come up with something better than _that_. You described to us how scared you were. With much more detail than necessary. I believe you spent almost a full hour on the first few levels alone, mostly telling us how horrible those stairs were. I could tell at that moment just how terrified you must have been. And they likely noticed this as well. And yet, they let it continue. If they truly cared for you, then they wouldn’t have put you through that. I believe that they are only doing this for their own self-preservation.”

“...”

“...”

“...I don’t want to talk about this anymore,” Steven whispered. “The implications...that Pink Steven never truly cared for me...all this mystery concerning Mirror, Emerald, and the two Gems they sent off to do something...my death being _beneficial_...it’s all becoming a bit too much.” He said. “Can we continue talking about this later? I-I think I need a break.”

“Of course,” Garnet said. “But there is still one last thing to discuss. Tell me, Steven, why was this conversation started in the first place?”

“...So you could show me that none of this is _my_ fault and that Connie will forgive me,” Steven replied.

“Precisely,” Garnet said. “And do you understand that now?”

Steven reared back slightly and tilted his head at the fusion. “I’m not sure-”

“The truth is Steven…” Garnet started. “...Is that there is nothing you could have done to stop this. Not by yourself. Your Gem and the Other Side working together against you was too much for you to handle, and something you weren’t even aware of at the time. There is no way you could have stopped them. Now, I’m not saying you’re powerless, but I’m saying that this was out of your hands. Especially when Mirror and Emerald arrived. You could have _never_ prepared for that. They made you do it. They are to blame. You were just a scared victim of the torments of the four of them. And this...this destruction...is also their doing.”

Garnet took off her visors and looked at Steven, seeming to stare into his soul with all three of her eyes. “After all of this, the truth is that you were _used_. They used you to further their goals. Now, there is still much we don’t know. We don’t know what’s coming for us. We don’t know if they’re going to try that again. We don’t know if Mirror was lying and they are the true Traitor or not. We...are at a disadvantage when it comes to information. Even I am not sure what this means in the long term. But I _do_ know that if you try, if you put yourself out there and stop blaming yourself, Connie will eventually forgive you, as well as her parents. But if you keep emphasizing that this is your fault, that everything is wrong because of you, she won’t. She’ll grow tired of it and leave. Do you want that, Steven?”

“N-no.” The hybrid said, trying to hold back his tears.

“Then you understand now,” Garnet said, more of a statement than a question. “So...for the last time... _none_ of this is your fault. Right?”

“...”

“...”

“...Right,” Steven said shakily. 

Garnet paused, slapped her visors back on, stood up, and then smiled down at the boy. “Good.” She said. “Now, I’m going to go over to the hospital and tell Connie and her parents what you told us. You’ll find Amethyst, Pearl, and the rest in Bismuth’s forge. I recommend that we go with her plan. Don’t fight it. Do what she says. As crazy as it sounds, Amethyst’s idea is the best. Do it.”

And with that, Garnet turned around and walked away towards the remains of the front gate. Steven watched her leave in silence, and once she was gone, he fell to his knees sobbing, finally letting loose with all the tears just had been building up inside during that entire conversation.

***

The flashback ended, and Steven came back to the real world. He blinked, and was greeted with the sound of a box shaking downstairs, presumably Amethyst emptying his cereal into the bowl. He sighed and looked at what was once his window, now nothing but a blank wall.

Blank.

That’s all it was. Once a window, showing the outside the beauty of the beach, now nothing more than a featureless slab of plaster that had no texture, no color, nothing.

He rubbed his face with his hands, took one last look at the dream journal, and then climbed out of beds and headed towards the stairs. Another day of following the rules. Another day of the Gems searching for a therapist. Another day of re-reading all the books in the house and waiting for Connie to finally visit.

Downstairs, the sun shined through the front window, and a slight breeze was blowing, shifting the large umbrella on the porch. The waves were calm, the sand glistening and warm.

It was going to be a beautiful day.

But it was just one of the dozens that he still wasn’t allowed to experience.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mostly a flashback chapter, with lots of important info to digest. The next chapter will start to switch the perspective between Steven and to very specific characters, as they begin their “mission”.


	22. Visitor

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, there is going to be some text later on in this chapter that will be...slightly hard to read, and that is all I want to say about it to avoid spoilers, but if anyone has trouble reading it, then please make a comment informing me of this so I can then make a comment (s) with it in normal writing for easier reading. Just in case.

“Hey...what does the briefing say about that Lapis target again? Specifically about how durable she is?”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, what does the briefing say, you muppet? Is it that hard to understand?”

“Shouldn’t you have already looked at it?”

“No, because Emerald told us to look at it on the way here!”

“What? I’m pretty sure she told us to check it in the docking bay! And, you know, the two weeks we had to prepare for this mission!”

“No, I’m-”

“You’re wrong! She told us to look at it during that time period!”

“Why, I oughta-”

“Are either of you having any trouble operating the ship?” Emerald's voice said, coming through the loudspeaker that was sitting directly in front of Eyeball and Aquamarine. The two Gems, who had been firefly arguing no less than a second ago, both promptly shut their mouths, exchanged glances, and then Aquamarine pressed the button that had some kind of odd dome-ish symbol with a handle attached to it. There was a small noise that sounded like tv static, and then a microphone popped out of the button, no bigger than a fingernail.

“No, ma’am.” She said politely, leering at Eyeball with pure hatred. “We are perfectly fine operating the ship by ourselves. There are no technical problems.”

“Well, that’s good to hear,” Emerald replied. “Now, before I leave you two to your devices and shut off the communication device until you’ve completed your mission, I think I should ask one last time. Are you two content with your teammates, or do you have to come back and work with someone else? Because I have a feeling...that there may be some _problems_ with your cooperation ability.”

Eyeball and Aquamarine briefly glared at each other, before Eyeball pressed the button without even looking and leaned into the mini-microphone. “No, ma’am.” She said. “The two of us are perfectly okay with our teammates. Right, _Aqua?”_

Aquamarine glowered at the red Gem again before pushing her head out of the way and speaking. “Yes, we are. There are no problems here, ma’am. You can trust us to complete the mission without any arguments.”

“Really.” Emerald scoffed. “Because according to the camera onboard that I’ve been watching for a few minutes now, you two don’t seem to be getting along…”

“There’s a camera on board? Uh, ma’am?” Eyeball said. “Where?”

“That is not your concern,” Emerald said. “And if you try to find it and remove it, I will activate the ship's self-destruct mechanism. Something that I’d rather not do because according to our Captain those mini-ships take a long time to build. Understand?”

“We understand!” Aquamarine said. “And about those arguments you saw, we were just having a...friendly little bickering between friends. Right, Ruby?”

“Right.” Eyeball said, laughing awkwardly.

“...”

“...”

“...”

“...Okay,” Emerald said. “Well, I’ll be leaving now. The Captain has assigned me to a very important job. One that should make _your_ job easier. As of right now, your ETA to Earth is...?”

“About three hours, ma’am.” Eyeball said.

“Very well,” Emerald said, sounding quite pleased with herself. “When you get there, send us a signal to alert us of that fact. At least if you go missing we’ll know if you’ve been stranded or captured.”

“Yes, ma’am.” The two of them said simultaneously. They both then bared their gritted teeth at each other like a pair of wolves, before Aquamarine spoke up again. “We won’t fail you.”

“I know you won’t,” Emerald said. “Because if you do, you’ll be punished severely for it. Remember, both your Gems are on the line here. I expect you two to use that as a motivation booster. Whenever someone does, they really show improvement when it comes to missions.”

“Yes, ma’am.” They both said again, although neither of them had any plans to use future visions of their torturing and _deaths_ as mission incentives. It would just get in the way.

“Good.” Emerald hissed. “Now goodbye. The Captain wishes you luck. Oh, and by the way...you _were_ supposed to read it in the two weeks you had to prepare for this.”

The communicator then let out another static sound as the microphone disappeared, leaving the just two Gems, the ship, and the blackness of space surrounding them.

And then without warning, Eyeball punched Aquamarine in the arm.

“OW!” She yelled, rubbing the spot where she had been hit. “What was that for?! Emerald wants us to work together! We can insult each other all we want, but if we start fighting then there'll be nothing left by the time we get to Earth!”

“I wasn’t interested in a fight,” Eyeball said. “Now punch me back.”

“What?”

“Among Rubies, it is a tradition that when one of us gets in an argument with another, we can instantly annul that argument by punching each other one time,” Eyeball explained. “It’s the best way to settle a disagreement. Just one punch each, and it's all over. I punched you, so now it’s your turn.”

“This isn’t fair.” Aquamarine pouted. “My punch isn’t going to hurt you nearly as much as you hurt me!”

“Do you want to keep arguing with you or not?” Eyeball asked. “Because I honestly don’t want to. So if _you_ don’t, then just hit me and get it over with. It doesn’t matter if you’re weaker. The strength of the Gem doesn’t matter. The point is that you did it, and that’s it.”

Aquamarine hesitated and then sighed. “Fine.” She said. “But I’m only doing this because I don’t want to have to pull out my wand and keep you frozen until we get to Earth.” She then drew her arm back and punched Eyeball in the shoulder, barely making any kind of mark. The red Gem didn’t even flinch, only nodding once all was said and done.

“There.” She said. “Now that argument is finished. We don’t have to discuss it any further.”

“...Hm.” Aquamarine hummed. “Well next time, don’t expect me to hold back.”

“You weren’t.”

“How do _you_ know?”

“Because you’ve hit me out of rage about twenty consecutive times before the Captain even found us, and trust me, I know when you’re holding back.”

“You do not-!” Aquamarine started, before she and Eyeball met eyes and stared at each other. Aquamarine punched Eyeball in the same spot as earlier, and the red Gem did the same (much softer this time), and that was that.

“So anyways…” Aquamarine said, actually starting to like the Ruby way of dealing with arguments. “Do you think our plan of taking down Jasper will work? I just freeze her and you stab her? Do you think it will be that easy in the end?”

“I’m not sure.” Eyeball said. “That wand can put almost anything in stasis, so I’ve heard, so I don’t think preventing Jasper from moving will be the problem. It’s just...I don’t want to shatter her.”

“Yes, as I’ve well heard numerous times,” Aquamarine said. “That one time I brought her up before this, you practically talked about her like a Pearl would talk about their Diamond, if not more so. What’s that word the humans use for a being that you worship?” She pondered. “God? Yeah, she’s a _god_ to you. I understood from the start that you wouldn’t have an easy time shattering her.”

“...I can’t deny it.” Eyeball admitted. “It’s just that she’s such a strong warrior! So capable! She’s probably seen more fighting a week than I have in my 10,000 years of existing! Just the stories about her...it’s amazing to think-”

“Okay, I don’t need to hear you idolizing her like that again,” Aquamarine interjected. “Especially since we’ve been tasked to _kill_ her, need I remind you?”

“You don’t need to remind me.” Eyeball said. “I’m still well aware of what accomplishing our mission means for her. But…” She sighed. “I have a request.”

“What is it?” Aquamarine sighed, getting the feeling that she wouldn’t be a fan of it.

“Can _you_ be the one to shatter her?” Eyeball asked. “And before you complain, let me explain. You can just freeze her, and then I’ll poof her by stabbing her with my knife. Once that happens…” She gulped and looked away, a small tear forming in her eye. “...you can... _dispose_ of the Gem any way you see fit. I don’t even have to look.”

“That _would_ be a good plan…” Aquamarine started. “ _If_ I thought you were capable of poofing her. I’ve seen that little knife of yours. Even if you stab her in this face, this is _the_ Jasper we’re talking about. It’s going to take more than that little box cutter if we want to poof and not shatter her. You’d have to stab her in like a hundred different places as a start!”

Eyeball growled and looked like she was about to punch Aquamarine again, but called herself down and turned back to her partner. “Then how about this.” She said. “We fuse, and Bluebird can freeze her. Then we poof her with our water-sword, _unfuse_ , and you shatter Jasper’s Gem. Does that sound good?”

Aquamarine made a face that looked like Eyeball had just called her a second-rate Gem.

“No, because we won’t be able to fuse for that objective.” She pointed out, facepalming. “The only time we’ve ever fused is for our hatred of Steven. The _only_ time. Hate is what kept us together. Hate is what made us push forward. But Bluebird won’t hate Jasper. You _adore_ her, and _I_ don’t care about it. Those two emotions put together won’t equal hate. It’ll equal indifference, which won’t be enough to stay together.”

Eyeball grit her teeth again and felt an urge to slam her fist into something. “Then we’ll just blast her with the ship, land, and _then_ shatter her!” She suggested. “Is that plan decent, or do you have even _more_ problems to spout at me!”

“I do actually!” Aquamarine said. “Emerald told us not to get close to Jasper with the ship, because it’ll take more than one shot to poof her! And once she figures out where we are, it doesn’t matter if we’re invisible or not, since she’ll just throw something heavy at us and make us crash! Your plan is a direct violation of the orders she gave us!”

“I thought this ship was immune to physical damage!”

“Not against a giant rock traveling at the speed of sound!”

“No, I thought we had a force field-”

“What did I just say?!” Aquamarine shouted, pointing an accusatory finger at Eyeball. “We can’t get close to her with the ship. Fusing won’t work. Poofing her won’t work. You _will_ shatter her after I put her in stasis, or I will get Emerald to tell the Captain that you are no longer a fit member of the crew!”

Eyeball gasped and leaned back from Aquamarine, shocked that she had even said such a thing. “You wouldn’t.” She whispered. “You’ve heard the stories. You’ve heard the screams. You wouldn’t condemn me like that! Not after all we’ve been through!”

Aquamarine narrowed her eyes, stood up, and looked over Eyeball, her face twisted into one that showed pure and utter fury. Then she opened her mouth, and said something without even thinking about the consequences that it held.

“I’D _DEFINITELY_ DO IT IF IT MEANT NEVER BEING IN A FUSION WITH _YOU_ AGAIN!” 

“...”

“...”

“...”

“I…” She started, before sitting back down. “I didn’t-”

“Oh. So _that’s_ it then.” Eyeball seethed. “ _That’s_ why. That’s why you were so against us fusing back when we met with Opal and the Captain. I...I should have seen it coming.”

“Ruby, please understand-”

“No, no, I get it.” Eyeball interjected. “I...have not always been the best fusion partner. I constantly disagree with you on things. We both fight on a daily basis. And you’re right. Whenever we fuse, it’s out of hate. We...are not good for each other. I can _sorta_ get...why you’d feel that way.”

Aquamarine looked away, out the window, out towards space and the blankness it held. An ashamed look plastered her face, as well as a small tear. “I’m sorry. I didn’t want you to know, but I’m sorry.” She whispered. “You have to understand. I was born not so long ago. I'm only a few hundred years old. Nothing compared to your lifespan. I’m not meant for a battlefield. I don’t even _enjoy_ fighting that much! I only tried to kill Steven with you because I hated him so much, but I never truly wanted to hurt anyone else! It’s not in my nature! I just convince myself that it’s fun...but sometimes not even that is enough.

She sighed and looked at her hands, covered in imaginary blood and shards. “But when we’re fused...I experience all of that. Your lust for fighting. The way you enjoy beating on other Gems and making them feel small. And while I like to do that to...it’s in another way. Through fast-talking, and manipulation, and crushing anyone who got in my way so I could achieve higher and higher positions, all in some pointless need for power. So when I fuse with you...and I feel the way _you_ achieve power...it’s not right. It’s...wrong, Ruby. Just so wrong.”

Eyeball hesitated to speak and then looked away, thinking to herself. Aquamarine couldn’t read anything off her facial expression, which was a blank and unyielding stare. After a few minutes, she finally turned back to her partner and smashed her across the face with her fist, causing Aquamarine’s head to slam against the reinforced glass on the other side of the cockpit.

“There.” She said, while Aquamarine attempted to stay conscious, too shocked to even get angry at first. “Your explanation was decent enough for me. I forgive you. But if you feel something like this ever again, considering that we’re likely going to be working together for as long as we remain part of that crew, tell me so we can work it out.”

Work it out…” Aquamarine echoed, spitting out a tooth that faded into snippets of light once it hit the floor. “You mean beating each other up like we just did two consecutive times in a row?”

“Yup.”

“...Fine.” She said, consenting to this and deciding that getting angry over the punch was not in her position right now. “But...you got what I was saying, right? About why I didn’t want to fuse-”

“Aqua, I punched you.” Eyeball said. “Now punch me back, in the face, as hard as you can, and that’ll be the end of it. We never have to talk about this ever again.”

“Well that’s...awfully convenient for such a large problem,” Aquamarine commented, still getting the hang of it.

“It’s the Ruby way of doing things. And we do it _because_ it’s convenient.” Eyeball said. “Any other way is a total waste of time.”

“I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I’m actually starting to like it,” Aquamarine said, drawing her fist back and smashing it into Eyeball’s cheek, who once again didn’t even react. “It definitely speeds things along.”

“Again, it’s why we do it.” Eyeball repeated. “Now…” She outstretched a hand towards Aquamarine, who stared at it in confusion. “Are you going to fuse with me so we can take out Jasper easily, and _really_ let go of your feelings towards Bluebird? Because that is the only way I will shatter her that will work.”

Aquamarine stared hesitantly at the hand, before she slowly pushed it back towards its owner.

“Yes.” She said. “But _only_ after we get to Earth. If we fuse, I want it to be for missions, not just for the heck of it.”

“That’s fair.” Eyeball said. 

“...”

“...”

“Now, what’s our ETA?” Eyeball continued.

“Umm…” Aquamarine hummed, looking over the computer console in front of them. “About three hours, and forty-five minutes. It’s only been fifteen minutes since Emerald cut off.”

“...”

“...”

“You wanna list all the reasons why we hate Steven again?”

“Oh, do I!”

***

Steven sat in silence as he chowed down on his cereal, the flakes feeling bland and tasteless in his mouth. It reminded him of a T.V. show he watched once, a dystopian movie where the only thing to eat was a featureless and tasteless grey slop that provided a person with all the nutrients they needed. Rich and poor alike ate it, and there was no change to the food. It was the same for their entire lives, a life without feeling, a life without taste.

Steven’s life had felt like that for quite a while now.

But that was a bit of an exaggeration. He wasn’t in such a bad mood that his taste buds had _literally_ stopped functioning, just that the taste of his favorite cereal and most other foods he ate didn’t bring him any kind of pleasure. He hadn’t even smiled when he bit into a cookie cat yesterday, which might have been a first. He felt the ice cream melting on his tongue, as well as the rough but slightly soft chocolate exterior between his teeth, but...that was it. He _felt_ it, but he didn’t really...taste it. 

It was almost impossible to explain. The best thing he could compare it to was the difference between being blind and simply closing your eyes. A person closing their eyes just sees darkness, or a faint shade of red or white if they’re “looking” directly at a light. But a blind person doesn’t see darkness. They don’t see the color black. They just see...nothing. Not a single thing that could be described in any other way. 

Nothing.

But again, Steven was in the “closed eyes” group at the moment. And since eating didn’t grant him anything besides keeping him alive, he usually just wolfed down his food as fast as possible instead of savoring it like he usually did. The Gems hardly found it odd after he explained his situation to them, and he had a sinking feeling that Garnet had predicted that this would happen, like most things that had happened to him in the two weeks since he had been incarcerated in his own home.

And once Steven was done with his cereal (two minutes for a bowl was his usual rate nowadays), he washed it out and then put it in the drying rack, without bothering to wipe it with a towel first. After that he grabbed the adventure novel he had started reading yesterday night and sat down on the couch, wondering where the Gems had gone off to this time. Although they usually always had someone “keeping guard” so to speak, every now and then they left him to his own devices, leaving to go who knows where. Steven suspected that they were searching for Mirror, but until they told him it remained a mystery. 

And then he sighed, flipped the book open, and started where he left off. The protagonist was in a particularly precarious situation, stuck inside a giant tree that was once the home to a tribe of goblins. Steven went through page after page, reading dozens of paragraphs describing their journey. Evading traps, jumping across bridges, dodging arrows. Pages of pure redundancy. After a few minutes of this, Steven grew increasingly bored, wondering why the author was spending so much time describing something that could have been easily covered in a page or two. Eventually, he skipped ahead a chapter, only to discover that nope, they were still trying to escape the tree, only now they were dodging _spears_ instead of arrows.

Suddenly that two-star review Steven had seen online was making a lot more sense, and he closed the book and glared at the front cover like it was personal. He suddenly felt like the universe was trying to tell him something with this, maybe a metaphor about being trapped and doing the same things over and over again with no possible way of escape, but whatever it was, he ignored it and threw the book aside, unable to watch the words on the page melt together and become just one paragraph, repeating themselves until all seventy chapters had been burned into his brain.

The book bounced once on the couch and then landed open-paged on the floor, creating a small _crack_ as its spine was broken. Steven frowned, licked his finger, and pressed it on the book, creation several sparkles as it was mended. Unfortunately, it was still in its original position, so the second after he healed it the two covers sank back down to the floor with another crack, completely undoing all his hearing attempts.

So Steven just looked away and left it where it was. With nothing else to do and no interesting things left to read, he climbed off the couch and headed up to his room, the place where he had been spending most of his time. He flopped onto his bed the second he reached it, causing one of the pillows to fall off and land on the floor in a miniature dust storm. If Steven was aware of this happening, he didn’t respond, and instead stared at the ceiling like it was the most interesting thing in the world.

But then, he opened his mouth and tried _it_ again. Just like the day before, and the day before that, _and_ the day before that.

“...Are you there?” He asked. “I want to talk to you.”

There was no answer. The word leaving his mouth echoed slightly across the room, but faded a second later. He narrowed his eyes and moved his left hand to his Gem, clutching it tightly between his fingers.

“I know you can hear me,” Steven said. “Even if Mirror imprisoned you in there, you should still be able to hear me. Or _feel_ this at least.” He tapped his Gem twice with his index finger in quick succession, like a person knocking on a door. “Can you please just talk to me? Or try to at least show that you’re there? Make our Gem glow-up? Summon our shield?”

“...”

“Anything?”

Steven once again got no answer, just like all the days before. For about a week he had been trying to communicate daily with his Gem, seeing if he could get any kind of response from it. All his powers worked fine, something he was grateful to discover after losing them for a while in the illusion, but no matter how hard he tried, Pink Steven showed no signs of existing. His Gem never flickered up like it had when he was rejuvenated. It never did things by itself. He never heard a voice in his head like he had with the Other Side. It truly seemed like he was alone.

He also had never told any of the Gems about this, mostly because he assumed they already knew. The cameras were still there after all. Dozens of them. And even if Peridot or Bismuth or whoever was keeping an eye on him wasn’t watching _every_ second of the day, they should have at least seen him trying it once. And since nobody ever brought it up, Steven assumed that they didn’t care. Heck, Garnet would probably tell him to keep doing it if he ever stopped, seeing as getting back in contact with his Gem half might help solve a few questions they had.

But again, Steven didn’t hear or feel any sort of answer. His Gem remained silent. He groaned loudly and took his hand away, splaying his arms across the bed. A few minutes later he felt himself drifting off to sleep, and he didn’t fight it. Even if he had just woken up, and was still in his pajamas, there was really nothing else for him to do. Plus, whenever he napped it was usually without dreams, so it was a great way to pass the time.

However, just before he closed his eyes, a voice was heard, a voice that he had been waiting to hear for weeks on end. Only...it sounded really, _really_ wrong.

“Į ͡a҉m͡ ̡h҉e͡re̕.” It exclaimed, sounding like it was coming an inch from his ear. Steven’s eyes widened at the noise, and he shrieked and fell out of bed, flailing widely.

“AHHHH!” He exclaimed, getting up and backing away from nothing. His heart pounded in his chest like so many times before, and he looked around frantically, searching for the source of the distorted voice that had suddenly exploded into his eardrums. “Wha-! Who’s there?! Where-!”

“I̷s.҉̶.̧̡.͘t̴͠he̡re̵̢̧ ͝á̧͏ ̵̢͝p̧ŗo̕͠bl̕e̵m̧̕?” The voice asked, sounding like TV static attempting to speak. Steven gasped again and pressed his back flat against the wall like he was being attacked, before realizing that the voice wasn’t coming from something in the room with him, but rather inside his own head.

“Wha...P-pink?” He asked nervously. “Is that you?”

“Y̸͜e̕͏s͢͢͟.̢” Pink Steven said, confirming Steven’s fearful and weary suspicion. “Alt̷h͏ou͏gh̕ ͢I re̵qu̕est̶ th̨a͢t yo̢u d̨o̸ ̡n͢o̕t ͢c͞all͟ me͡ “̕Pink”. ̸It m͠ake̢s͞ me҉ un͜c͝o͝m̨f͞o͝rt̸ab̴l͝e ̨f̛o͜r rea̢s͟on͟s ͠I̡’m̸ sur͢ȩ ar̷e a͝lrea̷d͠y k͢now̧n to ̵y̧o͞u̶.͢”

“I...sorry?” He said, only managing to understand half of what Pink Steven said. The rest was just a blur of noise, like a metal rake being dragged across a chalkboard. But still, he understood enough, and so he ignored Pink’s request and began launching a flurry of questions at him, each one more frantic than the last. “What...what’s going on? Why is your voice so distorted? Why haven’t you spoken up before now? How do I know this is really you and not some imposter? Is those a dream or-”

"ST͝O͝P͏.̴"͝ Pink Steven thundered, sounding like he was at the end of his patience. “̨Be q̴uiet. Hol̛d ͞y̡o̕u͟r que҉s̕t͠i͠ons. We ̵d͡o̵ n͡ot h҉ąv̕e͏ ͏m̛uch ͢t̨i͡m̨e.̶ ̧I ͠am no҉t͢ ab҉l͠e ̴t͜o ̨hold͏ ͏th̵i̕s̵ ͝fo͜r̨ muc͏h ļong̕er̢.̧”͠

“What do you mean?” Steven asked. “I thought you were imprisoned or something! Did you break out?”

"Pa̸rt̸i͏all̸y.͝"̢ Pink Steven replied. “̷I͏ man͏a̧g̵e̡d͘ t̷o eşcape̛,҉ ҉bu̵t̵ ͘un͞for̨t͡un̛ately̕,̕ t̶hat̸ o̸t̛he̕r͞ b̵ei̧ng t̛hat w̧a̧s wit̴h t̛h̢e Em͡e̷ra̢l͢d Gem̡ h͟it͘ me̢ ̶w̕it͟h s͘om͠e͜ ͠sơr͜t̶ ͠o͠f p҉u̕r̵pl̛e̛ l̛i͝ght̢ w͝h̷il͜e̴ ͡I͝ ͘was͝ c͠on͞fro͏ņt̢i̷ng them.͞ ̵Iţ made ͘me un͏able͢ t͟o le̡ave͠ our̢ Ge̢m̢. Eve̵n now͠,̕ i͏t̛’s pu̕ll̷in̨g͠ me̕ b͡ack. ͝I̴ ̛c̵a̡n’̧t s̕ta̸y̵ ̨her͟e f̡or ͢much̛ ͠l̸ong͜er̛.”̛He repeated, clearly distressed. “Y͏o̡u͡ h͞av̢e to ̡l͞is̵t̷e҉n ̢t̢o ̧m͏e, we-”

“No,” Steven interjected.

“̛Ex͘cu̵s̡e ̷m̧e͟?̨”

“First, prove that this is you.” Steven requested. “If you’re not going to explain why your voice is all glitchy, or if this is a dream or not, or why you haven’t done this before now, fine. But I want you to prove that this isn’t Mirror or Emerald or anyone else trying to get inside my head. Say something that only me and you would know! Something that even the Other Side wouldn’t!”

“͡...͠F̡ine͡.͝” Pink Steven said irritantly. “Y͜ơu͟ w̡a͟n҉t ̢me t̵o p̧ro͝ve͟ it? ̨T̵he͝n̡ ̶ho̸w̢ ąb̸out͏ th̷i̸s: A͟ ye̛a͡r͢ ̸ago,̵ ͘w͟h͏en ̧w҉e we̛r͡e̸ s͏ixte͏e̸n̡,͠ ͏we͢ ̸f̕oun̵d ͟one͝ ͢o͟f t̢hose ͢g҉raphi͞c͟ n̴o̸ve͡ls҉ from w͞ḩat r͘emained of t͘h̛e̶ t̵hing͘s ̡i̴n͟ ̨Greg͞’̵s st̵or͘a̢ge ͘uni͞t͡. ͝One̕ t҉h͝at̢ h̡e ͡s̕aid҉ ͜h̵e̷’d g̷ive͜ tơ ̵u͟s͠ w̴hen we w͡e̴re ̶a͘ li̴t̢tle ol̵dęr͠.̡ Bu͞t we͏ found ̵it,͝ ͏a͘nd ̴we̕ ̷r͘e̡a͘d̵ i̸t ̵o̧ut o͠f cu҉r͢io̕sįţy. H̸o̵we͞v͞e̡r, as͏ ͝w͏e̶ ̶r̡e͘ad i͏t, we̵ ͜began ͢to͠ ̴fe̶e͟l͝ dif͘f͢er͘e͏nt̴,͠ ̡in a҉ w͠ay̧ ͡we’͡v̕e҉ ҉almo͟s̷t̵ ͢ne͞ver f̸e͏l͡t b͝e̴f͡or̕e.̶ Wę ͢be̴gan͡ to e͜n͜joy ͏w̢ha̷t w̡e͞ ̕w̡er͏e l͝oo͠k̢i̕ng at͠, an҉d ţha͏t ̸q̢u̴ick͘l͞y escal̡at͞ed ţo͟ u͜s c͞l̛o̶s͏in̕g ͘ou̷r͏ bed͟rơǫm d͘o̶o̴r, mak҉in̵ģ s͢ure̸ n̸o̵ one ̨e͝lse̛ w͞a̧s ͜in̸ ͝th͢ȩ ͠h̨ou̡s̷ę, ̸a̧n͏d̛-”

“OKAY, OKAY, I BELIEVE YOU!” Steven yelled, his face flushing bright red as several embarrassing memories flooded through his head, each one making him turn a darker shade. “God...that...that whole ordeal was a mistake. Please do not mention it again, I don’t want to be reminded of it.”

“̷If͠ i͜t͡’̛s͡ ͘an̴y͜ ͏c͜ons͟olat̕ion͘,̢ it ҉waş ͟ęnj҉oya̵ble ͞for̶ m̸e too.̸”̢ Pink Steven revealed. “̴It was ͜a̢ ne̡w a͟n̛d̢ u̷nf̸amiļia̛r ̴fe͠elin̷g͏, b̶ut̨ ̴i̛t̵ was̢ ̛ḑȩf҉inite͟ly an ͘inf̧o͘r̛ma҉l͞ ̶a͞nd̨ pe̷rsona̧l̴ look ̷at h͠o͞w̸-͠”͢

“NO, nononononono!” Steven said, before groaning and burying his face in his hands. “Okay. Okay, I believe you. You’re pink me, and you said time was short. So say whatever you have to say before you disappear for weeks on end again. I've been trying to talk with you for what’s felt like forever, and I don’t want this chance to slip away now.”

“V̨e̡ry͘ ҉w҉e͞l͘l̶.” Pink Steven said. “̧M͘i͟r̡rơr ͘has ͜so͡m̷e͜t͏h͟i͠ng pl͠ann͢ed̵ ̵f̴or u͜s̶.͢ I be͞lie͞v͜e it i͡nvol͠v̸e̷s t͘he͝ ͘deat҉h ̧of ҉ou҉r̷se̛l̡ve͠s͞ a͏s͡ well a̴s t҉h̷ę ̷deat͜h҉s ͢o̢f͝ ͡ma͘n̸y̴ of ͟ou̡r̨ ̡f͝r̛i͟e͞nds͘.̨ ̨For̕ what͢ ̕p̵u͜rp͘o̡se,̕ I’m̧ ͟n͡ot s̛u̷re̸. Įt ̵m͡ig̡ht͞ ͟be p͠e̡rso҉na͢l͡,̸ ̵or ̡t͘he̵y͠ ̕m͜i҉g͢ht͡ ̶b̵e̢ ͜doing͏ it ̷t҉o ͡f͜urth͡er̸ thei̴r͠ go̷a͘l͡s.͟ ̷But̛ ͞wh҉a͝tever ͡the a̸nswer̵, we ̷mus̷t̨ keȩp on ̢our g͢uar̢d a̡t al͝l ti̵mes. ͝Th͢e̷y͡’ve̕ ͟ ͡sent͝ ̨somethi̕ng̡ a̵fte̴r̨ u̷s͡.̴ ͜Wh̕a̕t̡e̛ve͡r̸ t͜he end go̸al ơf͟ ͏th͡ei̧r̸ m͢i̛ssi̛on̵ ҉is,͘ ͏i̴t can͡’t͜ b̷e goo͏d.”͞

“...”

“...”̴

“...Keep going.” Steven requested. “I’m listening.”

“O̕h̡.͘ Sor͞ry͏.”Pink Steven said. “҉T͘h̨i͘s is ͟usu̷al̴l̸y ͡t͢he part͘ w̡her͞e ̶you҉ ̢a͡s͜k q͢ues̡tiǫņş, a͠nd͘ ̴I̸ was exp͘e̛c͡t͠i̷ng̢ you̵ ̶to͏ ͜d͞o͠ sơ.҉ ͡I̶ ̕e̸v͜en̡ hav̡e ̡a͝n͘ an͡swer̴ ręa̛d͏y ̡fǫr the̢ one͞ ͜t͞hat I͡ ͞p͟ŗedi͡ct͠ed̡ y̨o̸u͏ woul̴d͞ ͞qųery͞ ͞m҉e ab͏out.”̵

“Then just lay it on me.”

“Ve̶r͏y ͡well.͏ J͏u̢st̴ ͡a͘f̢t̴e̡r ͞the͘y shut ͜m̨e͟ a̛wąy͘, I ̢m̨a͡na͞ged͞ ̶to inf̨ilt͝r̴a͠te ̨their ̴o͠wn̨ mi̴nd si͜mila͢r to how ̕th̨e̵y̵ in҉fil̴tra̧te̵d̡ ours̡.̢”̷Pink Steven said, the question in...question being “how do you know all this stuff”? “͠I ̧w͝as̢ ab̶l̵e tơ ͟accom̡pl̕i̶s̨h͘ ͝this be͞c̵aus͢e th̢e͠y ̧h͜ad ͞d͘o̶n҉e͝ a ̧slǫp͢py̷ and q̸uic̷k j͘o͏b ͞o͘f͠ im҉pri̛s͘oni̴ng ̕m̧e̷.͠ Wh͠ate͠ver҉ ͞t̸hey̛ ͜wan̴te̛d d͢o͢ne͜,͡ t̛h҉e̸y͝ w͞a̷n͘t͞e̛d i̕t̛ ͞t͠o̧ b̛e ͘f̢iņish͢e̶d as ̸f͏a̡s͏t͜ ͢as po̸ss̷ib̴l̕e, a̴n̢d t̷ha̶t̨ ͠i̵nc͡lu͜d͝e̡d ͏ta̧k̷i͏ng͞ ͠care͠ ̶of̡ ͢me̕.͠ I̶ k͢n͜e͟w҉ I w̢a͝s ̷outcląs͡s͜ed if̛ ̡it̨ ͡tr̷ied ̵tơ ̛co҉ņf҉ront͢ th͟em he͞a̴d̵ on͞, so̧ a ͟sma̷lļ ̨pąrt͡ o̢f me ̨sli̧p͢p͝ed̨ ou͝t likę I’m̨ doin̴g now ąn̡d ̸I infil͡t̡ra͟te͞d̕ th͜e͟ir͞ ͢me̸n҉t͠al͜ ̢f͢orm̶ l̶i̛k̸e̸ a c͟o͘m͠p̧ut͞er bu̸g ͞st͏e̷a͜li͢ng͜ the͘ info̶rmatįon ̨fr͝om̷ ą h͘ar͢d͘ ͞d̴ri͡ve. Unfo̵rtun̵a͡tely̶, ͞I̢ ̕was͠ ̛o̵n̸l͞y i̕n ̡t͠here͏ ͜a ͟few ͡s͝e̕conds befor͝e̷ ͘Em̸eral͞d͘ ͢warn͢ed̵ ̨Mi̧rror̨ o͡f my͘ p҉res̛e̴nce̶,̧ ͏a͢n̷d th͢e͡y pu͘t m͟e̡ bacķ in͘ ou͞r͏ G͠e͘m,̶ ̶muc͞h m̛o͏re t̕i̶ght̴ly ̨s͜e̵cur͞ed̶ ͞t̢h͡i҉s͟ ti͢m͝e͟.”

“That’s convenient…” Steven noted. “Did you learn anything else?”

“N̶o.”Pink Steven said. “I was̕ ͏a̵fter̡ o͞n̕e̵ ͠t͟h҉i̴n̵g and͟ ͢on̡e͠ thi̸n̶g onl͜y͏.̵ W͜hat the̢y ͞w͟e͡r̸e ͝p̕l͢a͝n̨ning͝ ͢to ͘do ͝with̵ ̵us and͠ ̶wh̶y. To͡ ̛t̴ry̕ an҉d͢ ̶fi͞n͘d ͠a̴n̴y̷t͏hin͜g ͘el͘se͢ ̧in ̷suc̢h͝ ͟a c͢rucial mơm̡ęnt͠ ̷wo̕u͜l̢d ͜be͜ f͜o̷o͢l͜i͜sh͏. ̸But͡ ̴e͡v̵en ͏then,̧ ̧I ̴w̕a҉s͏ only a̶bl̴e ͠to sco̸uŗ ͠th͜e ̸surfac̵e͟. ̨T̶he͏i̸r mȩnt͞a̧l͘ ͟blo͡cks ͞we̷r҉e̛ ͞e͏xtr̢e͏mely̨ d҉įff̕i͟cult̶ ̧to ͝pe̴nȩtr͢ate҉. ̧If ou͘r̵ ̛b͢r̨a͟i͢n̷ i̡s̶ a ͏reg͟u̴la̷r͢ ͠p̴r҉i͜s͝on͢,̢ t̡he̕ir͞s͜ is͜ a͟ s͟upe̸r͠m̡ax.͟”͢

“Great. That’ll make them all the more difficult to take down.” Steven growled. “Is that all you have to say then? That’s what you got? That warning?”

“Ag̛ain͡, y̕es.”Pink Steven said. “I͠ wi̸sh ̛I͝ ̢c͝ould͞ hav̴e pro̧v͝i͠de͠d y҉ou w͢iţh mǫre,̷ but I f̧ai̕l̷e̢d̵.” ͜He paused and then sighed, sounding like computer code come to life. “͢An̢d ̴t̶his̴ ̢i͏s̕ alr̸e̷ady ov̛er̸. If͘ I̷ ͠try t͡o ͏s̶ţa̡y͠ ͢an͢y͏ l͡ǫn͜g̴er̵, įt̢ ̢m͠ig̛h͝t ҉c͝au̷se ͘h͡a̧rm͢ to̸ my co̕n͠sciouşn̢es͏s̢. G͡oo͡d̵ ļu̕ck.͞ And ̷r͏em҉e͜mbe҉r͡,͝ be ̷on͡ t͟he l̸oo҉kout ̧foŗ-̸”

“Wait! One last thing!” Steven said, wanting to get at least one of his real questions answered. “Why did you put in that illusion world? What was the purpose of showing me all those things? You hinted at how it was meant to dissuade me from being omniscient to our mother’s memories, but how was that supposed to do it?”

“.͟..͘Because͡.͜”Pink Steven said, his voice suddenly feeling sounding very far away. “That wor͏ld, ̢wh͠e̢re̡ e̢verytḩi͟ng͝ ̶an̛d ̨e͏ver͝yo͘ne i҉s d͟ead a̛n̸d bu̵r͏i͞e҉d̡,͠ i͏s ҉wh͝a̷t t͏his͘ o͘nȩ w͘o̡uld ͢h҉a͠v̵e͘ ̷be͡c̡o͞m̛e i̧f͡ ̡y͏o҉u͟ ̶kne͠w̕ e̡veryt͜h͘i̴ng̸ our mo͝t͘her ̨di͢d͠.”

“Wait, what’s that supposed to mean?”

…

“Pink! Pi-I mean, Pink me! Pink me!”

…

But there was no reply. No distorted voice, no cryptic messages, nothing. Pink Steven was gone. Again. Human Steven cursed under his breath and slammed his fist down on his bedside table, splintering it and causing a giant crack to appear in the side. But he paid it no mind. He didn’t care in the slightest. What mattered was that he was alone again, with nothing but more questions that led to nothing but frustration.

Steven then glanced upwards at one of the cameras, wondering what the Gem watching it thought about him talking to himself like that. He bit his lip and hopped off the bed, preparing himself for the inevitable conversation with either Garnet or a Pearl when they caught wind of what happened. And even if they didn’t learn about this by themselves for whatever reason, he was still going to tell them.

Even if it was hardly anything. Because unfortunately, what Pink Steven told was a bunch of stuff that he already kinda knew instinctively. That someone was coming for him. Mirror told Steven this themselves, so that little tidbit was nothing new. In fact, now that he thought about it, the only things Steven got from that conversation was a warning that he was already aware of, a swarm of embarrassing feelings and memories, and more and more questions. Why Pink Steven’s voice was distorted like that was on the top of the list, although a few contenders were “how long before you can talk to me again”, and “will removing my Gem free you”.

(He really wished he could have gotten the chance to ask the second one, because if he pulled it out, and Pink Steven didn’t appear, then he was as good as dead.)

But with no one there to answer them, Steven walked downstairs and sat patiently on the couch, waiting for the arrival of the Gems. He wasn’t even sure what telling them would accomplish, but he had to do it anyway. Besides, talking to them about this would probably be the most exciting part of his day. As much as he hated it, the only time he felt an emotion other than boredom was when he was conversing with someone. Ironically an activity that he had been trying to avoid the past few months.

And as he began to drift off on his bed, a single thought echoed through his mind, perfectly describing what his life was like at the moment.

Everything was going wrong.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yup. Aquamarine and Eyeball have finally set off on their mission, and Steven and Pink Steven had a little chat. The next few chapters will focus mainly on the former, and those two will eventually become semi-major characters in this fic. Although...they’ll have to be out through a lot until that happens. You’ll understand eventually.


	23. Endeavor

“ETA to Earth in five minutes,” Aquamarine announced, waking up Eyeball, who had fallen asleep with her face squished against the glass. She promptly woke up with a start, groaning as if someone had just dropped a bowling ball on her head.

“Ugh...what happened?” She asked groggily, totally out of it.

Aquamarine sighed. “You fell asleep again.” She said. “I was talking about how I hate Steven because of his stupid face, and when I looked back you were passed out like some kind of…” She waved her hand around as she searched for the right words. “...organic. You fell asleep. The end.”

“I did? Again? Huh...” Eyeball said, stretching her limbs out. “It always happens. No matter how hard I try, I can never remember dozing off...”

“I don’t think you’re supposed to. I wouldn’t know, because I’ve never done it.” Aquamarine said. “Now pinch yourself and snap out of it. The last thing I need is for my partner to fall victim to something that’s supposed to be exclusive to organics. I’d rather you not lower yourself like that, because that’ll affect how Bluebird behaves.”

“It’s not “lowering” myself!” Eyeball complained. “I’ve done it plenty of times, and my personality hasn’t changed in the slightest. Neither has my combat skill.”

“I don’t mean it like that,” Aquamarine said. “You’re doing something Gems we’re not designed to do. This...sleeping thing. It’s not right. It’s a waste of time. And what was that you even said earlier? Dozing off, is that an actual word?”

“It’s something I heard when we were on Earth.” Eyeball explained. “It’s just an expression.”

“Expression or not, please don’t do it again.” Aquamarine requested. “Soon enough you’ll be doing things like _eating…_ ” She shuddered visibly, as if a cold breeze was blowing in through space.

“Hey, we ate a few things as Bluebird.” Eyeball pointed out. “That wasn’t so bad. The...what was the word…? Oh yeah! The _taste_ of that peanut butter stuff was pretty good!”

“We just spit it out afterward,” Aquamarine said. “I didn’t enjoy it.”

“Nobody said you had to. And it’s your own fault just as much as it is mine. I wanted to try it, and you let it happen.” Eyeball groaned. “Listen, I’m just trying to say that if maybe _you_ experimented with a few of these things, you could learn to enjoy them!”

“I would never,” Aquamarine said bluntly, before sighing. “I’m not in the mood to discuss this further. Do you want me to punch you first, or the other way around?”

Eyeball actually laughed at that, amused at how fast Aquamarine had adapted the “Ruby” way of handling things. Still snickering, she lightly punched the blue Gem in the shoulder, and Aquamarine did the same to her partner a moment later. Right afterward, the console in front of them made a loud beeping noise, indicating that they had finally arrived. Aquamarine wet her lips as her fingers hovered over the button to deactivate the dark matter drive, something that was installed in all the smaller ships on _The Betrayal_ but also something she was completely clueless about. At least in terms of how it functioned.

“Dropping out of...hyper speed, or whatever, in five...four...three...two…” She paused and bit her lip. There was no turning back now, and all she had to do was accept that fact. Press the button, and their first mission, what would be considered their acceptance ticket into this crew, would begin.

“One.” 

She pressed the button, and the ship stopped short as the Earth exploded into view. It was still the same as it had been when they last saw it. Blue ocean, green land, white clouds billowing over it all. The very sight of it disgusted both of the Gems, who had grown quite tired of having to visit the planet. Hopefully, after Steven and everyone else their Captain wanted to be killed was dead, they’d never have to come back here ever again.

“Well, here we are.” Eyeball said, stating the obvious. “Where are we going to land? I know the ship has cloaking abilities, and no one will be able to see us coming in, but we should place it somewhere where no one will run into it.”

“Agreed,” Aquamarine said. “Although I still don’t understand why we needed a ship in the first place. We can fly through space just fine. And we already know the coordinates of this planet like the back of our heads. We didn’t need this fancy little map.” She complained, pointing to the holographic star map that took up a good quarter of the console.

“Finally, something we agree on that _isn’t_ the fact that we both hate Steven.” Eyeball said. “But credit where it’s due, this thing can travel through space a lot faster than you can fly. If that Star outside _The Betrayal_ truly was what I think it is, then we were on the outskirts of the entire known universe. That’s the only place where those kinds of things have been found.” She prattled. “If we flew how we normally do, with you just using your wings while carrying me, it could have taken _weeks_ to get here.”

“I suppose you have a point,” Aquamarine said, before shaking her head. “Alright. Turning on the cloaking device now.” She pressed another button on the console, this one glowing white in color. Nothing inside changed, but they both now knew that the ship was invisible to everything, from the naked eye to the most powerful of radar devices. “And I know where we can land. When I came here to retrieve humans for Yellow Diamond a few years ago...” She paused as the memory came back to her. “...I saw a place that could be used as a secondary landing spot for our ship. We eventually decided otherwise, but the memory stayed. At least now it’s finally being out to good use.”

“Where is it?” Eyeball asked, as Aquamarine took over the manual controls and the ship entered the atmosphere. 

“I don’t know what it’s called, but it was in a field full of these long stalk things,” Aquamarine replied. “Normally, landing the ship there would create an indent, but luckily for us, there was a pre-existing crater there, with several fences placed around it. I can only assume that it’s meant to keep people out.”

“Ah.” Eyeball said. “I see what you’re getting at. Since nobody is allowed near that crater…”

“Exactly,” Aquamarine said. “Nobody will accidentally stumble upon the ship. As long as they follow the rules of course. But from what I’ve seen of human culture down there, as well as the newly made Gem culture, they're not the kind to disregard rules.” She shrugged as a sky of blue entered their vision and the ship entered a cloud. “Most of the time at least. But that’s the safest place for the ship that’s also close to our first target. If our intel is correct, she should be located in a large forest just a few kilometers away from the field.”

Eyeball opened her mouth to say something but stopped short a second later, instead gazing out the window and looking down at the rapidly approaching landscape. In the distance, she could see the aforementioned field, which did seem to be composed of thousands and thousands of stalk-esque plants. And just like she said, in the very middle there was a large, flattened section, with a visible crater surrounded by metal fences in the middle of _that._

“There it is,” Aquamarine said. “I’m taking us down. Get yourself ready to go after Jasper. Again, she’s the most dangerous target. We have to be prepared in _every way.”_

“I know.” Eyeball said softly, as the ship lowered itself to the ground and touched down in the crater. It landed on a slight angle, but this was of no concern as Aquamarine made sure that she had her wand and then opened the cockpit with a hiss, a thin breeze blowing in immediately. She hopped out and Eyeball quickly followed, while the ship closed behind them. Aquamarine stepped forward and pressed her hand against it, causing the cockpit to close itself up. After this quick confirmation, she nodded her head and stepped away, and the ship finished sealed itself with a hiss.

“Alright.” She said. “Enough with the repetition. According to the briefing Emerald gave us, I shouldn’t be flying around as we go from target to target. One of those Crystal Gems might see us and jeopardize the whole thing.”

“So what does that mean?” Eyeball asked. “Do we have to _walk_ around everything?”

“Um...yes, actually,” Aquamarine said. “We can’t use the ship, and we can’t fly, so I do think walking is the only way to go.” She then smiled and put on a smug face. “But if you’re _that_ lazy, then I can pull out my wand and carry you around with it.”

“No thanks.” Eyeball said. “I don’t trust you to not keep me frozen until we get to Jasper so you don’t have to hear me talk.”

“Your loss,” Aquamarine said, before spreading her wings. She flew over the fence and landed on the other side, before looking at Eyeball expectantly. “Come on then. We don’t have all...well, we do actually, but we shouldn’t take any more time than what’s needed.”

Eyeball didn’t respond, only narrowing her eyes slightly before jumping clear over the fence. The two of them began to walk away from the crater, although Eyeball couldn’t help but cast a glance back at the ship with a weary look. Aquamarine noticed immediately and snorted.

“You’re worried as well?” She asked, to which Eyeball nodded. “Hm. Don’t worry. The ship isn’t going anywhere. And even if someone did somehow stumble upon it, they won’t be able to open it or do anything else. For all they know, it's what the fence is there for. Protecting people from an invisible piece of metal.”

“It’s not the ship I’m worried about.” Eyeball said, as the two reached the line of corn and started pushing through it. “I’m just wondering how that crater got there, and why it hasn’t been filled up.”

“Probably something from the Earth excursion a number of years ago that got Peridot and Jasper stuck here,” Aquamarine said. “That little incident caused a bit of a stir among us higher-ups when we discovered that one of the empire's best ships was destroyed because of, and I quote, “an accident while we were landing”. There was actually a rule put in place afterward that Peridots are no longer allowed to pilot ships like that. At least valuable ones.” She sighed. 

“Those big hand ships are valuable?” Eyeball asked. “I get that the Diamonds personal ships might be, but I saw those giant green hand things floating all over Homeworld the last time I visited it. Are they really so important that a whole new rule was set in place?”

“Of course,” Aquamarine said. “And most of the ships you saw were thousands of years old. Those things aren’t like red eyes or the ship you and your Ruby squad used to get here. Their hulls are made with the toughest materials known to Gemkind, and even for the empire, it’s in short supply.” She brushed a few pieces of corn out of her hair as the end of the field finally came into view. “Although then again, most things were at the end of era 2…”

“You can blame that on the Diamonds. I personally feel that the shortage of resources was because we colonized too many planets too fast.” Eyeball said, before looking around cautiously as if someone was watching them. “Hey...now that they’re in the same “love each other and organic life is now equal to Gems” boat like everyone else...we can…” She gulped. “... _criticize_ them for going down that path, right?”

“Do whatever you want. I don’t think our Captain cares anyway.” Aquamarine huffed, before rubbing her brow. “I’m going to be entirely honest with you here though. When it came to the Diamonds, in the end, I was different from most of the other Aquamarines I worked with. They fanatically worshipped them just like everyone else, but I…didn’t really believe in that whole “they’re perfect and without flaws” thing at a certain point. I mean, I respected them more than anything, for ruling the empire and having the power to put all those lower-class Gems in line like nobody’s business, but everything else...I wasn’t interested in it. I _pretended_ to be, but on the inside, I never saw any appeals to worshipping them all day long. Although I suppose that was mostly because of one incident. That “certain point” I mentioned.”

“And that is?” Eyeball asked, beyond surprised to see this side of Aquamarine.

Aquamarine tightened her tie and stopped where she was.“I met Blue Diamond once. _And_ Yellow Diamond. Both at the same time.” She explained. “It was when they were giving me and Topaz our mission orders for when we had to go grab some humans. They called us to Homeworld, we all went into a big room, they appeared and explained the situation, all that. But...then things turned sour. You see, before that, I truly saw the Diamonds as perfect. Beings who never got angry, never got stressed, even in the most precarious of situations. Stuff like that.” 

Aquamarine then chuckled and shook her head. “It was not to last. While Topaz and I were standing there, stuck doing the salute, Yellow suddenly got a call from an Opal that had been assigned to one of her colonies. From what I could hear, I think the native life forms of the planet were taking exception to our colonization, and they had already shattered a few in the process. At the cost of dozens of their own, but still. Gems had been shattered. Structures had been toppled. It was a total mess.”

“Let me guess.” Eyeball said. “She started freaking out.”

“Yeah, pretty much,” Aquamarine said. “And this wasn’t like a regular freak out. She was just _furious_. Screaming about how Opal was “making the empire look bad for letting Gem get shattered by lower-life forms” and that she “shouldn’t have been made to begin with if this is the results you’re giving me”.”

“Harsh.” Eyeball said. “Although with something like that, wouldn’t Yellow’s tantrum and this “imperfections” be more known among Gems? You think she would try and control herself more…”

“I think she only acted that way with higher ranking Gems of her own courts. The ones that have known her longer and know what to expect.” Aquamarine said. “Also, I think she just totally forgot that Topaz and I were there. Once she was done, she seemed rather shocked that we had heard the whole thing and then yelled at us to get out and complete our mission. So we both scurried along, and as we left we heard Yellow pouting to Blue Diamond like a...a…” She huffed. “Okay, I’m just going to say it outright. You’re correct after all. It’s okay to critique them now. No one is here to care. Like a _child_. And as you can bet, that whole little encounter left a bit of an impact on me when it came to what I thought about the Diamonds.”

“I can imagine.” Eyeball said. “I met them once as well. But only for a few seconds. I was just an eyewitness for “Rose’s” trial. I explained what I had been told to explain, and then I was escorted out of there. They never said a single word to me. Although hearing them like this…I’m betting my outlook would have changed if I stuck around afterward. If Yellow was that angry because a few organics managed to take some Gems by surprise, I can only imagine what her reaction was when Steven escaped that courtroom.”

“Quite,” Aquamarine said. “But back to my story. After that, I realized something. That the Diamonds don’t have some super special emotional sense that’s exclusive to them. They’re no better at keeping their emotions in check than anyone else. For goodness sake, they may be _worse_ at it. I didn’t even mention how Blue reacted to Yellow outburst. She summoned some blue aura that made everyone tear up. Seriously, the emotional problems between those two could fill up an entire system. And that...is what made me change my outlook. I no longer saw them as above me in any other way but position. And frankly, that was very helpful. Made me feel better about myself anytime I got mad.”

“That’s a nice story.” Eyeball said. “But...what about White Diamond?”

Aquamarine scoffed. “What _about_ White? From what I’ve heard, she’s hopped on board the same spaceship as her two compatriots. Love and peace and organic life and all that jabber. I don’t know what she was like before, but she’s clearly different now. Although, now I think about it, the fact that she remained in her ship for over six thousand years, never appearing in public, greatly suggested the fact that she had emotional problems like the rest. Because when a “normal” Gem shuts themselves away, they’re seen as an embarrassment and something to be looked down on. Yet White did the exact same thing for millennia and everything still praised her like there was no tomorrow.”

Aquamarine let out one last gigantic sigh, put her hands on her hips, and shook her head. “I don’t know where I’m even going with all this.” She said. “But I think the point is that the Diamonds were no different than us, and that we shouldn’t have praised them for any other reason than the fact that they had a higher rank.”

“Guess that makes sense…” Eyeball muttered. “Although that got me thinking. About the... _our_ Captain.”

“Pft. Who knows what the deal with them is.” Aquamarine said, sounding completely uninterested in the idea. “Let’s see. Shut-in, possibly mute, likes to let others do the work for them, and as seen with Opal, has a _very_ bad taste in first mates. Seriously, I’ve never heard of flat-out insanity in Gems, but if there ever was an example, it’d have been her.”

“So a lot like White then.” Eyeball said. “Minus the mute part. From what I’ve heard, she liked to talk and never gave others a chance to speak. Maybe it was an ego thing, or maybe she just liked the sound of her voice. But either way, I’m seeing a bit of a comparison.”

“Be careful not to say that to their face,” Aquamarine warned. “I’m getting the feeling that they’re not the type of person who's a big fan of the Diamonds.”

“Well sure, if we even _saw_ their face.” Eyeball said. “They didn’t turn to look at us once. I was wondering at the beginning...no, I’m _still_ wondering now if there’s even anyone in that chair, or if the few glimpses I saw of them was nothing but an optical illusion brought on by the darkness.”

“I think there’s someone there. Because if The Captain wasn’t real and Opal was the one making all the decisions, I think we’d all be dead by now.” Aquamarine said. “And by “we” I mean every single organic and Gem in the known universe. I have no doubt that she’d use that ship to slaughter them all.”

“Probably.” Eyeball agreed. “But…” She lifted her head and looked up at the sky, and then down at the road that had been paved right next to the field. “I think we’ve talked about our feelings towards these matters enough. We’ll have plenty of time to do that on the way back from Earth.”

“Right,” Aquamarine said, before looking left and right down the road. To the right was Beach City, while to the left a large forest could be seen in the distance, the gigantic trees looking like twigs from his distance. “We’re going left. The forest where Jasper resides should be that one. And then we can come back this way and head into the city to take out the rest. Easy as that.”

Eyeball squinted at the tree line and groaned. “This is gonna take a while. I get that we had to make sure nobody ran into the ship, but did we have to park it so far away from our targets?”

“Orders are orders, and I’m not stupid enough to start disobeying them,” Aquamarine said, although she herself couldn’t believe that every event in her life had eventually led to this. “And again, flying isn’t an option. So come on.” She turned and started walking alongside the edge of the road. A little walk won’t kill you. You’re a Ruby. You should be able to handle this better than I can.”

“You know, on Earth, it’s rude to make assumptions about people.” Eyeball mumbled, slowly following her and dragging her feet. “Like the one you made now. Just because I’m a Ruby doesn’t mean I’m super tough. Strength between us comes in varying degrees, and-”

“I...was complimenting you by doing that, _you know_ ,” Aquamarine said, rolling her eyes. “By saying that you can handle this better than me. I was basically saying that you were stronger than me.”

“The best insults are the ones that look like compliments.” Eyeball pointed out. “Something that you’ve had a tendency of doing in the past.”

“True,” Aquamarine said. “But that wasn’t one of them. Now...can we just talk in silence the rest of the way there? I think it would do us both some good.”

Eyeball didn’t reply, instead pausing and then nodding, silently admitting that yes, a break from their constant discussions (arguments) would be nice. Instead, she looked to her right at the cornfield, the seemingly endless stalks swaying through the breeze as a whole, like a massive creature moving across the landscape. She sighed, brushed some of the corn residue out of her hair, and began to think.

‘How did I get myself into this mess?’ She thought. ‘Look at me. Walking along the side of an Earth road towards a forest, with an Aquamarine that I’ve been...living with for the past few months, all so we can both kill the same Gem that I once, no, that I _still_ admire even more than the Diamonds now. And to think, no more than a few years ago, no time at all compared to how old I am, I was proudly serving the empire, doing everything I could to make my superiors proud. And I suppose...I’m still doing that. Working for a superior I never even saw for a mission that I don’t think I know the true purpose of. Doesn’t want anyone learning about them…’ She huffed. “There has to be more to it than that.”

“There has to be more to what?” Aquamarine asked, turning around to look at her.

“Huh?” Eyeball said, staring at her in surprise. “What did you say?”

“More like what did _you_ say,” Aquamarine remarked. “You just blurted out “there has to be more to it than that”. Is there something you want to tell me?”

“Oh...no.” Eyeball said, her face flushing as she realized she had said that last part out loud. “Just thinking to myself.”

“Well, trying to keep your thoughts inside your head,” Aquamarine recommended, turning back around and continuing to walk. “Talking to you regularly is enough for me thanks. I don’t even want to know what’s going on up there.”

Eyeball’s only response to this was to frown, resist the urge to throw something at Aquamarine, and return to her head. ‘As I was thinking…’ She thought. ‘I feel like something is being hidden from us on this mission. Some secondary purpose that we don’t know. I mean, even if they are aware of the Captain’s existence, what are they so worried about? It’s not like anybody’s gonna find _The Betrayal_. I haven’t even heard of _half_ of the camouflage technology on that ship when Emerald explained it to us. Why wasn’t that kind of tech used more on regular ships? If it was constructed six thousand years ago, why didn’t they use it during the war and-’

  
**  
_HONK_  
**  


“AH! WHAT THE-” Eyeball exclaimed, nearly jumping three feet into the air at the sudden honking noise that exploded into her ears. A shriek from in front of her confirmed that Aquamarine was equally surprised, and the two of them simultaneously glanced to their left to see the cause of the noise: A human vehicle, one of the long variety with dozens of windows and numerous humans and Gems sitting inside. The side door wide open, and the driver staring at them expectantly.

“Finally.” She said. “I thought that would get your attention. Are you going to get on or what?”

“E-excuse me?” Aquamarine asked, casually looking behind her and wondering if she should grab Ruby and make a run for it. “Get on?”

“Yeah.” The driver said. “I was wondering if you wanted to get on the bus. I’ve been trying to get your attention for like five minutes now. You even had a conversation right next to me and you didn’t even notice! I honestly didn’t expect the horn to work, all things considered.”

“Five minutes?” Eyeball asked. “You were driving next to us for five minutes and we didn’t notice?”

“Yup. You two haven’t been taking drugs that screw up your hearing though, have you? Cause I don’t allow drugs on this bus…”

“I don’t know what those are, but...I assure you that we don’t have them.” Aquamarine said. “But I’m also sure we don’t need your assistance, human. We can get to where we’re going on our-”

“ _Actually…_ ” Eyeball interjected, slapping a hand over Aquamarine’s mouth. “We _could_ use your help, depending on where you’re going. Are you taking this, uh...bus to that forest over there?” She asked, pointing towards the distant tree line.

“...That is one of my stops.” The driver said. “Ceased being a tourist destination a while ago though. Don’t know why, although I did hear that it might be because some people kept disappearing. It is nice to finally meet someone that wants to visit though! If you get on, I can take you there. No charge.”

“That would be very nice, thank y-” Eyeball started, before Aquamarine grabbed her arm and dragged her aside, out of earshot. The two walked over to the edge of the cornfield, and once there Aquamarine let go of Eyeball’s arm and glared at her furiously.

“What?” Eyeball said, knowing full well why she was angry. “If we take that bus to the forest, we’ll get there faster. It’s a lot quicker than going on foot. And although I’m not entirely sure how neither of us noticed it driving right next to us for five minutes straight, the human in that seat is letting us on, no problem! We won’t get in trouble with any Earth law enforcement or get attacked! What’s there to lose here?”

“Are you kidding?” Aquamarine asked. “What if there’s someone on that bus that recognizes us? What if _Steven_ is on that bus or another one of our targets that knows who we are? We’re not exactly inconspicuous around here! I’m sure that he’s told everyone to watch out for us!”

“Doesn’t Steven have a vehicle of his own?” Eyeball asked. “That thing he called “the Dondai”...”

“Well, even if he isn’t on there, we can’t risk it,” Aquamarine said, pinching the top of her nose with her fingers and closing her eyes. “I’m going to tell that human to drive off without us. We don’t need this. We’re doing just fine on our own, and-”

But it was around this point that Aquamarine opened her eyes again, and when she did, Eyeball wasn’t standing there anymore. Her mouth gaped open and she looked around, only to see the Ruby standing next to the bus door, frowning at her.

“I’m getting on. It’s faster this way. And the faster we complete…” She glanced back towards the driver and cleared her throat. “...what we need to do, the more our...superior will trust us. You’re welcome to walk if you want, and I’ll wait at the entrance of the forest for you. But I’m getting on here. No point in taking a longer route when we don’t have to.”

And with that, Eyeball walked up the short steps of stairs that led inward to the bus, and Aquamarine gaped as she saw her walk down the aisle and take a seat near the back. She then glanced back towards the driver, who let out a low whistle.

“I think you two have some issues to work out.” She said. “Last chance. I’m already behind schedule because I stopped for you two, so are you getting on or what?”

Aquamarine opened her mouth to say something, but only silence came out. Eventually, her face scrunched up, she grumbled a few unintelligible things to herself, and she ran back towards the bus and got on, earning a smirk from the driver. She spotted Eyeball and began moving down the aisle, covering her face with one hand as she moved past the other passengers. Once she sat in a seat across from Eyeball, the bus purred to life and took off down the road again, the overhead lights switching on as the sun began to disappear over the horizon.

“Well, look at that.” Eyeball said, almost in a smug manner. “If we hadn’t gotten on this bus, not only would we be walking the whole way, but we’d have to do it in the dark.”

“Our Gems can project light. It’s not that much of a concern.” Aquamarine scoffed, obviously in a sour mood. 

“Just pointing it out.” Eyeball said, before leaning back against the bus seat. She then allowed herself a few moments of leisure as she took a quick peek at her surroundings. There were five passengers on the bus, not including them. A Nephrite that showed visible signs of former corruption, a human child with an oddly shaped head and a smile that seemed fake, another human with a red jacket on and a pair of sunglasses, bobbing their head along to some kind of music, a white Topaz that took up an entire row, sitting stoically, and another human, this one sitting right in front of her, with a long brown coat, long brown hair that was uncombed, and an extremely depressed expression on their face. None of them were paying attention to the pair, all seemingly focused on their own thing. Good.

Eyeball then scooted across her seat to get closer to Aquamarine, much to the blue Gem’s visible displeasure.

“What do you want?” She asked, before Eyeball even had a chance to open her mouth. “If you’re going to force me to come on this bus ride, the least you could do is give me some silent time to myself.”

“I didn’t force you to do anything.” Eyeball said. “I gave you some options, and you picked this one.”

“Doesn’t matter,” Aquamarine said, before sighing, which had started to feel like a habit. “What do you want anyway?”

“I want to talk.”

“About…?”

“Anything.” Eyeball said, making Aquamarine lift an eyebrow. “Listen. This entire mission we've treated each other like trash, constantly arguing and disagreeing on things. We kinda stopped punching each other back on the ship, but I think we could have done it a few more times back in the cornfield.”

“And your point is…?”

“That we’re going to keep doing this, no matter what, unless we figure out a way to work together without fighting almost ourselves.” Eyeball said. “We can talk it out and hit one another as much as we like, but unless we come up with an actual solution, it won’t work.”

“I thought you said the Ruby way was the best way,” Aquamarine recalled. “And now you’re going back on it? Just like that?”

“I’ll be honest...that way is only for short-term things. Not long-term like our partnership.” Eyeball said. “We have to do something _real.”_

Aquamarine huffed and stared out the window. As much as she didn’t want to admit it, Ruby was right. This relationship was _never_ going to work if they didn’t trust each other and kept fighting. They needed to get along, so the Captain would trust them more. So they could earn a higher position with the crew and not share the same fate as that unfortunate soul that kept screaming during their meeting.

“Then what do you suggest?” Aquamarine asked. “Gem therapy? Because I’m going to be honest with you, I think-”

“Excuse me…” A sudden voice from in front of them said. Aquamarine stopped short and the both of them looked to see the frowning human sitting in front of them turned their way, his eyes opened the slightest bit, staring at the pair with what almost looked like pity. Nobody said anything for a few seconds, until the human opened their mouth again and spoke with the most accented voice that the two Gems had ever heard. “But it seems you’re having a disagreement with each other.”

“...Yes, we are,” Aquamarine said, who was not and likely would never be in the mood to talk to this person. “But we can handle it just fine on our own, so please turn back around...um…”

“My name is Quentin Frowney.” The human said, sticking out a hand but then awkwardly pulling it back a second later.

“Well, Quentin Frowney-”

“You can call me Mr. Frowney.” Mr. Frowney said. “Everyone else does.”

“...Right,” Aquamarine said, clearly peeved at being interrupted. “Well, _Mr. Frowney_ , we’re just two friends having a pleasant conversation. We don’t need help from some human to sort out our problems. Especially one who looks like he doesn’t have any friends of his own.”

Mr. Frowney only nodded along to this insult, sighing sadly. “I can only agree with you on that.” He said. “I suppose I have a few friends, but I don’t talk to them much. My partner, Mr. Smiley...and maybe that child who dressed up as a robot that then came to life. But...I don’t have many friends. You’re right.”

“Every time,” Aquamarine said. “Now, back to-”

“But I _do_ know how friendships work.” Mr. Frowney said, making Aquamarine shake in rage. “After all, I’ve ruined so many that I can spot a failing one from a mile away. And you two...are going down that path. And I hate to see that happening. I want to help you mend it.”

“Why do you care?” Aquamarine said, trying not to scream at him to bugger off. “This isn’t your business.”

“I suppose it isn’t.” Mr. Frowney admitted. “But I still want to help. Like I said, I hate to see failing friendships. I think it’s only right that after seeing so many of my own fail, that I try to help put one back together.”

“Fascinating,” Aquamarine said sarcastically. “But as _I_ said, we don’t need your help. So just turn back around, keep looking sad, and don’t bother us ever aga-”

“Wait!” Eyeball interrupted, once again slapping a hand over Aquamarine’s mouth. “We...do want your help.” She said. “We’d actually _really_ appreciate it if you could assist us.”

“Really?” Mr. Frowney said, his eyes lighting up. “That’s the first time anyone had ever accepted my offer. I-I can’t believe it.” He scooted and turned around so that he was sitting on the edge of the seat, now directly facing the two of them. “So, I think we should start-”

“Could you excuse us for a moment?” Aquamarine interjected. “I need to have _another_ quick talk with my partner.” And with that, she grabbed Ruby by the hair, dragged her closer, and started whispering furiously, despite the fact that Frowney could hear everything given how close he was.

“Why do you keep doing this?!” She hissed. “First you make me get on the bus, and now you’re forcing us to have a friendly little conversation with this human who probably won’t be able to help us anyway?! You heard him! This is the first time anyone has accepted his offer! He probably doesn’t have a clue as to what he’s doing!”

“I’ve looked up a few articles online,” Frowney said. “On how to repair friendships with people. They’ve very insightful when it comes to this sort of thing.”

“Don’t care! Talking!” Aquamarine growled at the man, before sneering at Ruby again. “Why are you doing this? If you keep distracting us with trivial things, then we’ll never finish this mission!”

Eyeball sighed, facepalmed, and slapped Aquamarine’s hand away from her hair. “That’s where you’re wrong.” She said. “Have you already forgotten what I was talking about just before Frowney started talking to us? We have to find a way to work together on stuff like this! Otherwise, we’ll never get anywhere, and _that_ will be that thing that prevents us from completing the mission!”

“Maybe you’re right about that, but we don’t need any help from this human!” Aquamarine said, a bit too loudly. “This is something we should handle on our own, just the two of us, with no one else around!”

“Why are you so opposed to it?” Eyeball asked. “We have nothing to lose here. Worst case scenario, the advice he gives us doesn’t work. The end. You’re being overdramatic.”

“And _you’re_ not staying focused!” Aquamarine said. “Have you forgotten _why_ we’re here? Our job is to _literally_ ki-” She started to say, before remembering that Frowney was right there along with several other humans and Gems, and so she quieted down, grit her teeth, and made a few word changes. “Our job is _not_ something that should involve this. Whether we work poorly together or not. We should just finish it and then handle our relationship problems later.”

“No, because then we’ll just encounter problems while we’re doing the mission!” Eyeball said. “We should try and figure out a solution now, or at least one that allows us to complete our mission without being at each other’s throats!”

“That’s impossible and you know it,” Aquamarine said. “You don’t-”

“Excuse me.” Mr. Frowney interjected again. “I think I see the problem here.”

“What? Just like that?” Eyeball asked. “But we’ve only been arguing in front of you for no more than a minute or so.”

“And that’s told me more than enough,” Frowney said. “I know it may not look like it, but I’m good with things like that. My friend Harold told me that I’m one of the best at reading people that are having trouble getting along.”

“Well, isn’t that convenient. The one person who may have a solution to our problems just happens to be sitting on the same bus as us that just _happened_ to be passing by at this very moment. There are so many levels of ridiculousness here that I can’t even comprehend it.” Aquamarine said, before gritting her teeth again. “But you know what? Fine. I consent to this. Go ahead, human. Explain your solution to us. I heavily doubt that it will do anything, but go on and tell us.”

“Alright.” Mr. Frowney deadpanned, leaning closer to them both. “You two seem to have a problem with constantly disagreeing on things.”

“No kidding,” Aquamarine said. “Anyone can tell that just by looking at us. Was that your grand advice or-”

“Aquamarine, be quiet and let him talk.” Eyeball said, who was only letting this happen because at this point she was open to anything that might mend their friendship. “Keep going, Mr...uh, Frowney.”

“Okay. As I was saying, what we have here is a simple case of constant disagreements. But from what I’ve heard, I believe that most of the arguments you’ve had are likely unnecessary, and at their worst, childish. Am I correct?”

“Well…” Aquamarine started, recalling all the _dozens_ of debates the two of them had had in the past. And now that she looked back on them, she realized that Frowney was right. Most of them _were_ unnecessary. And childish. Usually, they were about trivial things, like who hated Steven more and which one of them should perform the killing blow if they were infused while he was in a vulnerable position. The things they talked about today, on the ship and in the cornfield, were only the tip of the iceberg. No matter what happened, they always had opposite opinions on everything except for Steven. It was like a sickness had infected them both, and was slowly tearing them apart. “That _is_ rather accurate.” She admitted. “I guess that a lot of things we’ve fought over were for nothing but seeing who was right in the end, even though...we both knew that it was impossible to change the other one's mind.”

“And that brings me to my main point.” Mr. Frowney said. “How long have you two been...eh, doing missions, as you call it?”

“This is our first one.” Eyeball said. “But we _have_ been living with each other, I suppose you could call it, for a good few months now.”

“And did your attitude towards one another change when you took this mission?” Frowney asked.

“Not really,” Aquamarine said. “We started to become a little more serious, a little more professional with how we talked around others, but when we were alone nothing changed. We fought. We argued. All that. We still disagree on almost anything except for...one specific thing.”

“And that is?”

Aquamarine and Eyeball exchanged glances. They were already far too deep to pass this off, so they had to say something. But it’s not like they could just tell him that they both hated Steven and wanted him to die. This guy might very well be a friend of his, and if he learned the truth then that would be a bad time for everyone involved.

“...It’s our feelings towards someone,” Aquamarine said.

“Ah,” Frowney said, before wincing. “That makes this a little more difficult then. I guess you both want the same thing for this person, you both want them for yourselves, but because they can only be with one of you, you take your frustration out on each other?”

“Actually...that’s about it, yeah.” Eyeball said. They both wanted Steven to die, but deep down the two of them knew that if they had the chance, then one of them would take the kill for themselves and finish him off without the other. It wasn’t greed. It wasn’t the glory of the kill. It was just pure hatred, and they didn’t want to share the gratification they’d receive once Steven lay dead at their feet. “We both want them for ourselves. In the end, I think it’s going to come down to only one of us.”

“I see,” Frowney said, nodding along. “And what does the person think about this? Is there one of you they like more? Or are they unable to decide?”

“Umm…” The two Gems hummed simultaneously. “I think they’re indifferent towards the matter.” Eyeball said. “It’s just us, really.”

“...Maybe we should forget about them for now,” Frowney said, starting to get uncomfortable. “Back to my main point. So, you agree that most of what you argue about is pointless, yes?”

“Yeah.”

“Yup.”

“I think I know why,” Frowney said. “This person that you two are pining for. I think you’re subconsciously fighting each in a competition. To see who's better at everything. It doesn’t matter what the topic is. If one of you says an opinion, the other will immediately disagree, whether or not they _actually_ disagree. Does this seem accurate?”

“Yeah, it...does...” Aquamarine said softly, almost in a shameful manner. Because what Frowney said was right on the money, now that she thought about it. She remembered one time that Ruby said that Jasper’s were the superior form of Quartz, and even though she agreed full well with this, Aquamarine quickly started spouting that _no_ , Amethysts were the superior form of Quartz. And then this led to a giant argument that lasted well into the day, all because Aquamarine suddenly decided to change her personal opinion for no reason other than the fact that Ruby’s was the same as hers. It was such a waste of time.

Frowney was nailing it, and the expression on Aquamarine’s face confirmed that for him.

“And there you go.” He said. “That is the source of the problems. No matter what it is, you two will always fight over something because of your feelings for this person. And I think I have a solution for you.”

“What is it?” Eyeball asked. 

“Forget about them,” Frowney said. “Now listen to me. I’m just giving you advice. You don’t have to follow it if you don’t think that it’ll make you happy. But the best thing I can tell you to do is to forget about this person and move on. They are a constant source of problems for you both, and from what I see, they’re not interested in either of you. I don’t mean any offense by this, but...I don’t think either of you have a chance.”

“What!” Aquamarine exclaimed. “That’s absurd! We’re more than capable of ki-” She started to say, before Eyeball silently pinched her arm and reminded her that Frowney still didn’t know their true intentions (or feelings, as he called it) towards Steven. “...We’re...ugh. What makes you say that exactly?”

“I think I already told you? But I guess it won’t hurt to say it again.” Frowney sighed. “This person doesn’t want either of you. I don’t think you two have had a big impact on their life from what I’ve heard. If you say they’re indifferent towards the matter, then it means they’re not interested. And if they’re not interested, then _that_ means neither of you have a chance.”

Aquamarine frowned but pondered over what he had said. Once again, Frowney has a point. The two of them probably _didn’t_ have that much of an impact besides a few bad memories, considering that Steven had faced down all three Diamonds at the same time, if the rumors were true. She and Ruby were nothing more than a nuisance. And... “This person doesn’t want either of you”. Aquamarine knew that Frowney was confusing their murderous intent towards Steven with something else, but this was still good advice. Steven didn’t care which one killed him or attacked him first or whatever. He thought of them both as the same thing. Again, a nuisance. 

They didn’t matter to him.

“I...think I get what you’re saying.” Eyeball said. “We should let go of our feelings for this person, and just try to focus on our relationship with each other? Try to fix the friendship that he destroyed?”

“Bingo,” Frowney said, almost in a happy way. Almost. “Now, this advice might not be perfect, and it might have some flaws in it that could haunt you later. But for the time being, this is your solution. This person is controlling your life and tearing you two apart. No longer, you should say. Push them away, if anything. Say you’re not interested anymore. Say that they don’t matter.” He wet his lips. “Or maybe that’s a bit much. But either way, I think you get the point.”

“I guess so…” Aquamarine muttered, as if she was embarrassed to admit this. “Excuse us again for a moment, will you?”

Without waiting for Frowney to answer, Aquamarine grabbed Eyeball’s arm for the third time and dragged her all the way to the back of the bus, a place where Frowney and nobody else could hear them.

“So...what do you think?” She asked. “Do you think we should listen to him?”

“Wait, are you serious?” Eyeball asked, amazed. “I thought you were dragging me back here to tell me that his advice is dumb and that you were just playing along to make him stop talking! But you’re _actually_ considering following his advice?”

“Aren’t you?”

“Yeah, but...I didn’t expect you to.” Eyeball replied. “And the answer to your first question is yes. Our obsession with Steven _has_ been the thing tearing apart our friendship. We should try to ignore stealing the kill for ourselves and just...kill him if the opportunity presents itself. It doesn’t matter who does it.”

“Agreed,” Aquamarine said, unable to believe that this was working. “But...he’s number two on our list of targets. After we take out Jasper, we’ll have to go after him next. It’s dark, so he should be asleep…”

“We’ll fuse and do it then. Together.” Eyeball said. “After that, no more Steven. No more arguments. Just...us, working together on that ship and making ours else known among the crew.” She stuck her hand out as if meeting the blue Gem for the first time. “How about it?”

“I think...that sounds good,” Aquamarine said, grabbing Eyeball’s hand and tightly squeezing it. “Alright. After Jasper, we finish Steven and our obsession with him. For good. Then we take out the rest, and put this whole part of our lives behind us.”

Eyeball didn’t respond, merely smiling and letting go of Aquamarine’s hand. The two of them walked back over to Frowney, who had a small smile of his on, and his eyes were actually visible.

“I see you worked it out.” He said. “I’m glad I could help.”

“Yes, well, as much as it pains me to admit it, your advice worked,” Aquamarine said. “So...um…”

“Thanks.” Eyeball chimed in. “For helping us and giving us that advice. We’ll make sure to use it.”

“Happy to hear it,” Frowney said. “Huh. Haven’t been _this_ happy in a couple years. Oh, Harold, I think you had the right-”

“YOU TWO AT THE BACK!” The drive suddenly yelled, making Frowney stop short. Aquamarine and Rueball jumped a foot in the air and glanced toward her front, where they noticed that the bus had stopped, the doors were open, and the driver was staring at them. “Finally got your attention. We’ve arrived at the forest. If you’re going to get off, get off now.”

“Oh. That soon?” Aquamarine said, while Eyeball sighed in relief. The two Gems looked back at Frowney, nodded at him simultaneously, and then started walking down the aisle towards the front. But as Eyeball climbed off and Aquamarine began descending the stairs, she turned back at Frowney and cupped her hands over her mouth.

“I just can’t resist. Thanks again for your advice!” She shouted. “Our targets will never see us coming now!”

“You’re welcome!” Frowney said, giving them a small wave. And as Aquamarine hopped off and the bus took off into the night again, Frowney smiled to himself. “I did it, Harold.” He said, a small tear coming out of his left eye. “I helped someone. I really…really...” 

He then stopped short, going over what Aquamarine had said before leaving, and his happy expression faded into one of suspicion.

“Wait, what did she say about targets?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And so begins the true start of Aquamarine and Eyeball’s little Earth excursion. As mentioned, this will take up the next couple of chapters, and I’m hoping that you’re excited as I am! (Hopefully one of you is, at least.) But yeah. It should be fun. And we’ll see plenty more of them in the future.


	24. Antique

“Guess this is it.”

“Yup.”

“The real start to our mission.”

“Yup.”

“With no arguments, no disagreements, no-” 

“Okay, I get the point.” Eyeball interjected, cricking her neck and moving forward. “Let’s get this over with.”

Aquamarine, who had actually been enjoying listing things off like that, sighed softly and closely followed Eyeball, making sure to keep her eyes on the ground in front of her for any branches or rocks that she could trip over. It had been ten minutes since they left the bus, and twelve minutes since Mr. Frowney had given them his advice. (Which surprisingly worked out pretty well, even if it had come from a human.) They had stared blankly at the forest path in front of them for those ten minutes, both of them wondering if they should continue forward or not. After all, it was like Aquamarine said. This was the real start of their mission. One last chance. One last chance to turn around now and forget about all of this. Aquamarine could grab hold of Eyeball’s hand and they could fly off to go anywhere on Earth, or in the universe. Leave the Captain behind. Leave _The Betrayal_ behind. Go to a place where they’d never be found, and live there for the rest of their days, happy and alone.

But this was wishful thinking at best, a fool’s errand at worst. They both knew the Captain would find them eventually. They couldn’t stay on Earth. Not with the billions of microscopic machines planted everywhere that they controlled. And they couldn’t go anywhere else either. Once the Captain and Opal realized their betrayal, they would be chased to the very ends of the universe, and then they’d share a fate even _worse_ than the one whose screams always rang throughout the ship.

Leaving was not an option. It was like they had said earlier. They were already too far in. There was no going back now. And after they both came to accept this fact, Aquamarine had begun listing things, and you know how that ended.

And now they were both walking down the forest path, their Gems lighting up to illuminate the way, the only sounds being their footsteps. All the animals, even the insects, had stopped making noise, and now it was just them. Heading towards the cave that Jasper apparently resided in. They had finally decided on a plan. Aquamarine would freeze her, Eyeball would poof her by grabbing her Gem and pulling it out of her head, an option they had previously forgotten was possible on the journey there. Then Aquamarine would shatter her once Eyeball looked away, and that would be the end of it. A good plan, with very few flaws. Aquamarine saw in the briefing that most Gems that resided on Earth had started sleeping as a habit each night, just like organics, so it wasn’t too much of a stench to say that Jasper might have started doing it as well. They could take her out without even having to wake her up. 

At least, according to the briefing. Which they had, admittingly, skimmed.

But that didn’t matter. They were both here now, and their mission couldn’t be stopped anymore. Either they died or their targets did. It was the one and only fact that they had completely agreed on before coming here. Perhaps the only opinion that either one of them had in _months_ that didn’t require arguing.

Aquamarine continued keeping her eyes on the ground as she walked along, forgetting that she could just hover right over it in the heat of the moment. Eyeball was the opposite, staring straight ahead, her feet burning through any twigs and rocks she touched like a laser. But despite how angry this showed she was, her expression was dead and blank. She could hide her emotions well when she wanted to, and Aquamarine began wondering why she hadn’t before.

“So…” She started. “After Steven, how do you think we should take care of the other targets? If they’re all inside that Temple of theirs, we won’t be able to get it unless we blow it up or something. And since they would garner a lot of unwanted attention, that’s not an-”

“Can you...please stop talking?” Eyeball asked, her fists clenching up slightly. “I just want to walk in silence until we get there.”

“Wha-are you kidding me?” Aquamarine asked, peeved at her response. “After all that, after you made me get on that bus and listen to that human, and even now that we’re on better terms, one of the first things you say to me after that is to shut up?”

“It’s not…” Eyeball started, before sighing. “You’re right. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that. It’s just that as I’m sure you can tell, I’m not in the best of moods right now.”

“Yeah, I think the ground can attest to that...thank goodness this path is mostly made up of rocks, otherwise you’d have started a forest fire by now,” Aquamarine said. “But is it because of Jasper? Are you still angry about that?”

“Yes.” Eyeball said. “We talked about it back on the ship, and then a little in the cornfield, _and_ we have a real plan now, but I still don’t feel any better about it. I’m pretty sure I’ll have to close my eye _just_ while taking her Gem out. Are...” She gulped and unclenched her hands. “...Are you sure you can’t take the Gem out yourself? I promise I’ll help with the others, but with that wand, are you sure you can’t do this one alone?”

“Very much so,” Aquamarine confirmed. “I’m not as strong as you. A Gem as durable as _the_ Jasper...it's going to be difficult for you to get her Gem out, even with her frozen. So I have no chance of doing it alone. And I can’t just throw her around and make her slam into things with the wand either, because there’s no guarantee that’ll work. She might smash straight through them with no damage done to her physically.”

“That’s Jasper for you.” Eyeball said, before frowning. “You know, have I ever told you the story of why I hate the _Crystal Gems_ so much, not just Steven?”

“No,” Aquamarine said. “I believe you mentioned that they tricked you a couple of times, which eventually led to Steven throwing you into space, but you never really included specifics. Only why you hated Steven, not the rest of that lot.”

Eyeball wet her lips and spoke up again, this time using a deadpan tone. “Well, it was a few years ago.” She began. “My squad and I had been sent to Earth to retrieve Jasper, who Yellow Diamond wanted back after it went missing. Although she did seem more worried about the ship she and the Peridot lost…”

“As I said, they’re hard to make,” Aquamarine said. “But what happened after that?”

“We got to Earth, and started scouting out the area.” Eyeball continued, before shaking her head. “I should have seen it. We _all_ should have seen it. But somehow we didn’t. The Crystal Gems had a Ruby of their own. Part of that fusion with the hair that’s shaped like a cube. They unfused and their Ruby joined our group, and because of a little...miscount, we believed that they had been with us since the beginning.”

“Wait, are you serious?” Aquamarine asked, who was clearly trying to hold back her laughter. “They tried to trick you like that, and it _worked?_ _Seriously?_ H-how did you not notice? How could you _possibly_   
not-”

“I don’t know, okay?!” Eyeball said, her face flushing in embarrassment. “We just…didn’t.” She sighed. “And now you see why I never told you this story.”

“Sorry,” Aquamarine said sheepishly. “Now please continue. I want to hear the rest of this story.”

“Fine, but you better not laugh.”

“No promises.”

Eyeball scoffed and started talking again, her tone now changed to one of mild frustration. “So, that happened. The Ruby they had sent to infiltrate us tried to convince us that the person we were looking for wasn’t in a nearby barn, but we wanted to check it out anyway. So we came up with an agreement. The rest of the Gems came out and disguised themselves as humans, and we had to beat them in a game of baseball if we wanted to check out the barn. That was our agreement.”

“...”

“...”

Aquamarine facepalmed, held a finger up, and opened her mouth to speak, but Eyeball simply said “don’t”, and continued her story before she should unleash another remark on how stupid she and her squad had been. She already knew. She didn’t need a reminder.

“So, we played a game of baseball, which involves…hitting a ball with a stick and running around a diamond formation. We still didn’t notice the fact that they were Gems, despite them using some abilities that were _clearly_ ones only Gems had.” She explained, leading to some further snickering from Aquamarine. “But in the end, the Ruby they had sent to our squad and her Sapphire partner accidentally refused, and the jig was up.”

“And then you stopped acting stupid and tried to force them to tell you where Jasper was?”

“No, we…” Eyeball started, before gritting her teeth. “Actually, yes, that’s pretty much what happened, but first the Peridot that Jasper had been with came running out of the barn and gave herself up. And then we realized the whole time that they didn’t know we wanted Jasper. They thought we wanted the Peridot.”

“Did you...not?” Aquamarine asked. “I heard that she called Yellow Diamond a clod. To her face. I feel that would make your former superior want her shattered…”

“She didn’t care.” Eyeball said. “When it was brought up, Yellow’s Pearl mentioned that as far as they knew, Peridot had been killed when the communication device was detonated. So our orders weren’t to bring Peridot in. And...I don’t think we realized that _that_ Peridot was the same one.”

“Of course you didn’t,” Aquamarine said. “Before you go on, I have to ask. Are all Rubies as stupid as your squad was? Were you the only smart one? Because the way you act now...it’s a thousand times better than what I’m hearing.”

“Most of them were just naive.” Eyeball said. “I was the only one that fought in the war. I was the oldest. I understood more than the rest of them, even if I wasn’t the leader. I was smarter than the average Ruby, but…”

“You were still dumber than the average Gem,” Aquamarine said, with a smile only she knew was there. 

“I’d make a snarky comeback on that, but you’re absolutely right.” Eyeball admitted. “Luckily, I’m a lot better now, mostly because I think the stupidity of the others was rubbing off on me.”

“Thank the Diamonds...I mean thank the Captain for that.” Aquamarine said, suddenly recalling the whole nanobot thing. “But back to your story then. What happened after they fused and you all got mad?”

“Another stupid decision by us.” Eyeball said. “They said Jasper was on Neptune, which is the eighth planet in this solar system, and so we went there and only realized that it was a gas giant about...a few hours after we arrived. We’re lucky we looked for a landmass at first instead of just flying in blindly, otherwise we’d all be dead right now. The gravity would crush us into dust.”

“And is _this_ the part where you started acting smart?” Aquamarine asked, who wasn’t sure if she was going to be able to conceal her laughter much longer if this went on.

“No, this is the part where we acted even stupider.” Eyeball said. “So after that, we went back to that barn and found a Lapis Lazuli that I only found out later was the informant for Jasper’s mission. I’m not sure why Yellow Diamond didn’t inform us that there was a Gem as powerful as a _Lazuli_ on Earth, but she was a complete surprise for us.”

“Probably assumed she was off-planet,” Aquamarine said. “A couple of years ago I heard a rumor among the other Aquamarines. That a Lapis Lazuli has suddenly appeared on Homeworld after being imprisoned somewhere for thousands of years. Nobody believed it, but I guess it was true.” She shrugged. “But the point is that I think Yellow believed that she had flown away from Earth again the second she had the chance, or was imprisoned by the Crystal Gems. Either way, she wouldn’t have been your problem.”

“Well, she turned out to be.” Eyeball said grumpily. “After she captured us, the rest of the Crystal Gems got there, and…” She sighed, knowing full well what Aquamarine was going to say about this. “...We demanded to see Jasper, and one of them, the purple one, shapeshifted into her and made us think that _she_ was Jasper. All of us were fooled, even me.”

“...”

“...”

“...”

“...Aren’t you gonna say something?” Eyeball asked. “Mock me or the rest of the Rubies for believing something so stupid as well as being tricked again?”

“No, actually. It kind of hit its peak with the whole Neptune thing.” Aquamarine said. “I mean, it’s hilarious, and yes, you were all extremely stupid, but I’ve already mocked you enough for it. And besides, if I made a comment about _every_ stupid thing that happened in this story, it’d take hours to finish. So carry on and get it over with.”

“...Alright.” Eyeball said, surprised by this statement but certainly not complaining. “After that, we went to the Gem base that was located on the Moon to use the computer up there, but when we arrived it was smashed to pieces. We were about to leave afterwards, but they slipped up at the last moment and we found out that the purple one wasn’t Jasper. Then we got angry again, fused, and…we got knocked into space.”

“And I already know what happened next,” Aquamarine told me. “Steven found you, you cracked your Gem, he healed it, you tried to kill him, and he _threw you into space!”_ She exclaimed, doing a terrible impression of Eyeball’s voice. “I assume that’s the end of that story. I’d give it a 5/10.”

“I’d put it at an eight.” Eyeball disagreed. “But remember, the whole reason I told this story in the first place was because I wanted you to know why I hated the Crystal Gems so much, and not just Steven.”

“I think I got it,” Aquamarine said. “Because they pretended to be Jasper, and you’re angry that they faked being your idol. Sort of a “how dare they pretend to be someone so perfect. They are not worthy of being Jasper” thing, right?”

“You summed it up perfectly.” Eyeball said. “There were actually a few details in that story I left out. You see, when I still believed that the fake Jasper was the real one, I tried everything I could to hide my excitement. I tried to look like a proper soldier in front of her. I tried to remain polite and stoic, as a Ruby should. I failed in that regard, a lot, but I did my best. I wanted to prove myself to Jasper. I wanted to show her just how good of a Gem I could be.”

“Can I ask why?” Aquamarine queried. “What exactly were you hoping to accomplish by doing that? Even if she was _the_ Jasper, and she was somehow impressed with how you acted, it’s not like you’d get to see her again. She was a top-of-the-line-Quartz, and you were just a common Ruby. Even if she made a request, it’s not like you would ever work together in a squad or something like that. I’m just...what were you hoping to accomplish?”

“I...I don’t know.” Eyeball groaned. “Maybe I was just trying to look good in front of her. I knew I would never get something as good as being transferred to a squad that she was a part of. Heck, Jasper didn’t even _have_ a squad! She always worked alone after the war if she could. She...was a total loner. I should have known that even if I was the perfect example of what a Gem could be, I’d never get anywhere with her. She wouldn’t have bothered with a simple Ruby.”

“You got that right.”

“Hey!” Eyeball said, turning around to face her partner. “Okay, that was uncalled for, you-”

But the second Eyeball turned around, her thought train came to a sudden halt at the sight that was being presented to her, and her voice died in her throat with a thick choking noise. There, standing in front of her, was none other than Jasper herself, Aquamarine’s head in one of her hands while the other one covered her mouth. She towered over the red Gem, her eyes practically glowing in the dark like a demon. The look on Aquamarine’s face was one of terror, as if she was begging for Ruby to help her. Eyeball couldn’t quite make out Jasper’s expression, but she almost thought it looked gleeful.

“You got that right.” The Quartz repeated, chuckling as Eyeball froze to the spot, her feet suddenly feeling like they weighed ten tons. _She had been the one to say that_ the red Gem realized. Eyeball immediately felt like she was about to throw up, but not just because of fear. Finally meeting her face to face, and disapproval was the only emotion her hero was displaying. 

“Well, what do we have here?” Jasper continued. “Two little runts trouncing about my forest in the middle of the night, making as much noise as possible with their yapping.” She looked at Aquamarine and grunted, before squeezing her head somewhat and shaking her around like a rag doll. 

“H-hey!” Eyeball said, the words leaving her mouth almost involuntary. “D-don’t hurt her-”

“Or you’ll _what?”_ Jasper sneered. “What are you going to do...actually, no. What I want to know is what you two are doing walking through the woods at night, heading directly towards my cave, talking about _me_!”

“We…” Eyeball gulped. “We just wanted to see you in person. Both of us are pretty big fans of yours, and once we heard you were on Earth, we wanted to meet you!”

“...”

“...”

“...Really?” Jasper said, baring all her teeth. “Well, isn’t that nice. I’m glad to see that I still have fans. To think that you would come _all_ the way from deep space to meet me...it’s truly an honor.”

Eyeball breathed a silent sigh of relief after Jasper said this, hardly unable to hide her gratefulness that the Quartz bought. She still didn’t know where she came from, or how she managed to sneak up on them like that, but hopefully, now she would let Aquamarine go and they could complete-

“At least, it _would_ be an honor...if that were the truth.” Jasper continued, and Eyeball’s feeling of dread returned like a punch to the stomach. “Because we both know that isn’t the truth, _don’t we?”_

“I-I d-don’t know w-what you’re saying.” Eyeball stuttered. “That’s the real reason we came here. Listen. I can explain it to you. I fought in the Gem war six thousand years ago, just like you. And I constantly heard stories about how great you were. Your fighting prowess, your immense strength, the way you could take on almost any opponent. I respected it. But I never got a chance to meet you. And when I heard that you were on Earth, all alone, I saw that as an opportunity to-”

“I don’t care,” Jasper growled. “It’s still a load of nonsense. Like, what were you going to say _this_ one was here for?” She held up Aquamarine and shook her around again. “That she was your escort because you couldn’t get here on your own?”

Eyeball scrunched up her entire body as her shoulders dropped in a show of defeat, because that was _exactly_ what she was going to say Aqua was there for. Her escort. And Jasper had seen right through. Was her story really that predictable?

“So…” Jasper said. “You’re not here because you want to meet me. No, it’s something else. Again, I heard my name several times while I was spying on you. I couldn’t quite make out what else you were saying, but I knew it had to be important. So why don’t you tell me what you _really_ came here for, and I _might_ consider letting you go.”

“I-I can’t.” Eyeball said.

“And why’s that?”

“B-because if I do, then you’ll probably just kill them anyway.” She explained, earning a shocked look from Aquamarine, one that said “are you crazy?” Jasper tilted her head at this, but then burst out laughing like it was the most hilarious thing in the world.

“Well, then what am I waiting for?!” She shouted. “If that’s the case, then I should just shatter you both right now! Problem solved!” Her fingers then tightened on Aquamarine’s head, causing the blue Gem to flail around widely in an attempt to escape. 

“NO!” Eyeball yelled, before rushing forward to save her partner. But as if she was swatting a fly, Jasper took her hand away from Aqua’s mouth and smacked Eyeball on the side of her head, sending the Ruby flying. She remained in midair for a good five seconds until she slammed into a tree, snapping the trunk in half and causing her to drop to the ground like a rock.

“Huh. I still don’t get it.” Jasper said, while Aquamarine watched Eyeball slump to the ground, unmoving. “All these Gems that know full well what I’m capable of, yet none of them think “maybe this isn’t a good idea” before attacking me. They just charge and think that they can make a difference.” She sighed. “It all ends up the same way as well. Now then…” 

She looked down at Aquamarine and smirked at her. “I think it’s time I end this little problem before it becomes one.”

Jasper’s fingers then tightened on Aquamarine’s head, causing her to cry and gasp, before futilely trying to pry the Quartz’s hands off her. But all it took was one second of tugging for her to realize that it was pointless. Jasper was easily fifty times stronger than she ever would be, and with her unable to grab her bow and thus the wand on the top of her head, she was helpless to fight back.

So that left doing one of the things that she was best at: Talking her way out of it.

“WAIT!” Aquamarine said, making Jasper stop just before she poofed. “Whatever it is that you want, I can get it for you!”

“...What? Whatever it is that I _want?”_ Jasper echoed, scoffing. “What’s that even supposed to mean? How would you have any idea of what _I_ want?”

“I never said I did!” Aquamarine replied. “But if there’s anything you desire, I can get it for you. I, uh, have contacts with several powerful Gems! I promise you, if you let me live, I can make it worth your while!”

Jasper snorted. “Are you serious? That’s even stupider than the story that pest of a Ruby told. Trust me, there’s nothing you can give me that I can’t already take for myself.”

“I can help you get revenge on Steven Universe!” Aquamarine blurted out, causing Jasper to raise an eyebrow. “You hate him, right? You want him punished for causing you to be corrupted and all that? Well, I can help you get revenge. I have a tool. A weapon. It can freeze anything with a tractor beam. With that, I can freeze his friends and you can have him all to yourself with no chance of anyone interrupting! Just you and him, fighting it out as you’ve always wanted!”

Jasper frowned and seemed to consider it, while Aquamarine began silently praying that this would work. One second. That’s all she needed. If Jasper let go of her, it would only take one second for her to take off her bow, turn it into the wand, and freeze Jasper. Then she could keep her like that until Ruby woke up so they could finish the job. Things had obviously not worked out as planned, but the mission could still be saved. Jasper was their most dangerous target after all. It only made sense for her to give them trouble first thing.

“Hm...I don’t think so.” The Quartz, and Aquamarine’s imaginary heart dropped. “What made you think I hate Universe to the point where I’d want to kill him?”

“W-why...don’t you?” Aquamarine stuttered, still hoping to salvage this in some way. “I read the reports! All of them! He trapped you on this miserable rock! Caused you to be corrupted! Turned that Peridot against you! And then forced you to live out here, in the middle of nowhere, with nothing to do! He ruined your life like he ruined mine! Why _wouldn’t_ you want to kill him?!”

“Because I don’t care anymore,” Jasper said. “It’s true. I still hate him for all that. I sometimes fantasize about killing all his friends right in front of him and then crushing his skull under my feet. But I don’t _actually_ do that. Because not only would that cause the Diamonds to come for me, but I just don’t see any point. Killing him would accomplish nothing besides feeding my ego.”

“And...you _don’t_ want that?!” Aquamarine exclaimed. “But...the report…”

“Whatever report you read was wrong,” Jasper said in a matter-of-factly tone. “Yes, I hate him. I despise him with every ounce of my being. He’s not even the one I blame most for some of the things you listed. I blame it on the fusion for crashing that ship and getting me stranded. I blame it on that _other_ fusion for causing me to be corrupted. And as for forcing me to live out here? Don’t make me laugh.” She scoffed. “ _I_ chose to stay out here. I’m not going to any Gem world because of all their precious little policies, and I’m _never_ going to live in “Little Homeworld” or any human city either. But out here, I make the rules. Anyone except Universe who trespasses gets crushed. Earthlings at first, but now Gems as well.” She grinned widely and leaned in. “Accept no exceptions. Including _you._ And now…” She reared her fist back and hovered it over her Gem. “I’m sure you can guess what’s going to happen next.”

‘Oh god. She’s actually going to shatter me.’ Aquamarine thought. ‘T-then this is it. There’s nothing I can say to make her change her mind. Nothing I can do to stop her. Nothing...no! There has to be something! There’s always something I can say! You’ve gotten yourself out of these kinds of situations before, you can do it again! There has to be...has to…’

_“Anyone except Universe who trespasses gets crushed. Accept no exceptions.”_

‘That’s…’ Aquamarine thought, as her eyes went wide. ‘That’s it. I know how I can beat her. I just have to make sure...that it’s believable.’

And just as this thought finished going through Aqua’s mind, Jasper shot her fist forward at the blue Gem, aiming directly for the small tear etched into the side of her face. She couldn’t wait to hear what the last sound out of her mouth would be. It was always something. A scream usually, pure terror taking over every other emotion in their last moment. Sometimes it was a squeak, when they were too terrified to speak properly. Those two were the norm when it came to this kind of stuff.

However, what came out of Aquamarine’s mouth next was certainly something she was not expecting. 

She laughed.

It was a high-pitched, childish laugh, almost like a giggle. Echoing throughout the forest and sounding extremely creepy in the darkness. Jasper’s fist halted an inch from her face as she registered the noise, confusion overtaking her glee as the tiny Gem continued to snicker to herself like someone gone mad.

‘What in the name of…?’ The Quartz thought. ‘Did she just go insane, or is this some kind of coping method for Aquamarines? This is the first time I’ve killed one, so if this is unique to them then...oh screw it.’

“Hey!” She shouted. “What’s so funny? What are you laughing for?”

After she said this, Aquamarine stopped short and liked her directly in the eye, her lips curved into a faint smile. “Oh, nothing.” She said. “I just find it hilarious about how _much_ you care about Steven.”

“Wha-WHAT?!”

“What? Did you not hear me?” Aquamarine asked innocently. “I said that I find it hilarious how much you care for-”

“I heard you just fine!” Jasper exclaimed. “I want to know what made you think that I care for him in the slightest! What gave you that impression?!”

Aquamarine grinned even wider and started emitting a low humming noise like a person possessed. “Do you even have to ask? The fact that you mentioned, “anyone except _Universe_ who trespasses gets crushed”. I found that interesting. You kill every person who enters your territory _except_ him? You obviously care for him. Why else wouldn’t you shatter him if you did?”

“You little-!” Jasper started, before growling like a rabid dog and jerking Aquamarine so close to her that spittle flew into the blue Gem’s face as the pointed surface of her Gem pressed against the other’s nose. “I already explained this! I haven’t killed him because if I did, then the Diamonds and the rest of those worthless Gems would come flying over here to put me in a bubble! And I’m not going back into one of those things. Not yet. Me not killing Universe has nothing to do with _caring.”_ She spat. “It has to do with my own self-preservation!”

“Hmm...I don’t know.” Aquamarine said. “It kinda seems like you’re just making excuses. He does have Pink Diamond’s Gemstone. I think you’re protecting him because of that Gemstone. You don’t want to hurt him because that would be hurting your Diamond.”

“THAT...actually makes more sense than it should,” Jasper admitted. “But no! I don’t kill him because of any of those reasons! I was doing it so that we could continue having our sessions with each other!”

“Sessions?” Aquamarine said, momentary confusion overtaking her smug tone. “What are you talking about?”

“Every now and then, Steven comes over to fight me so he can “relieve stress” or something,” Jasper explained, unable to accept the fact that someone was thinking of her this way. “Maybe once a month. And I enjoy them! Every second! Because they show me his true self! They give me an idea of what he could truly accomplish if he never held back! They remind me...of what a Diamond should be. But each time, he holds back. Each time, he refuses to go in once he starts getting the upper hand. Each time, he-”

“Wait, _upper hand?”_ Aquamarine asked. “But the mission briefing said that you’re stronger than him! How can he be able to beat you in a fight like that?”

Jasper suddenly stopped cold at Aqua’s words echoed in her mind over and over again, like she was analyzing every syllable. Finally, she tilted her head and spoke one word they perfectly showed what she was feeling at the moment.

_“What.”_

‘Oh, crap,’ Aquamarine thought. “Ah, what I meant to say was that I’m sure you’re stronger than him, so   
why-”

“No.” Jasper interjected. “What was that you said just a second ago? About a mission briefing?”

“Well, err…”

“I knew it!” Jasper shrieked, shaking the tiny Gem around again. “There’s more to you two than I thought! You didn’t come here of your own volition, did you?! You were sent here! You’re under orders!”

“No, wait, it’s not what you think-”

“I don’t care!” Jasper shouted, before holding Aquamarine out in front of her and rearing her fist back again. “If you were sent here, then whoever did clearly didn’t have any good intentions for me. A pair like _you_ two are only sent out on things like spy missions. A Ruby and an Aquamarine...the Aquamarine does the spying, the Ruby keeps lookout. That’s what you’re here for, aren’t you?! To watch me and then report back to whoever sent you?!”

“...”

“...”

“...Yes?” Aquamarine said nervously, knowing full well that she couldn’t get out of this one but _also_ being aware that it was better if Jasper thought she was sent here as a spy rather than an assassin.

Jasper growled and tightened her fingers. “Then let this be a lesson to whoever your superior is. And don’t you worry. I’m not going to shatter you with this punch. I think I’m going to make it last. And then after I’m done with you, I’ll go after that partner of yours!”

And before Aquamarine could say anything more, Jasper shot her arm forward with all the speed and strength of a train, slamming it into the blue Gem’s midsection. Her eyes bugged out in an almost comical manner from the sheer force as the punch sent her flying across the forest. She screamed widely as she flew through the air, eventually landing on a large patch of dirt that “broke” her fall. After skidding about twenty feet and getting dirt in her mouth as well as every single inch of her clothes, Aquamarine came for a stop at the base of a large tree.

‘Hurts…’ She groaned, even her thoughts sounding like they were in pain. ‘Everything...hurts…No. Ignore it. You have to get up. This is what you wanted after all. This was the plan. Make her want to drag things out. Get her to punch you far away. Give you time to grab the wand.’

She opened one of her eyes, the eyelid feeling like it had a hook attached to it that was holding up a fifty-ton weight. In the distance, with her blurry, gritty vision, she could see Jasper slowly approaching. Taking one step every second. She had a little more than...thirty seconds, she estimated, to grab her wand and freeze the Quartz in place.

“Okay...okay…” She moaned, pushing herself up and resting her back against the tree. “Seriously, how was I not poofed by that. I don’t think I’ve ever been hit that hard in my life.”

“Can you feel it?” Jasper asked, her voice echoing throughout the forest in a tone that made Aquamarine think that whatever was about to say had been rehearsed. “That pain is the last thing you’re going to feel before I finish the job. Before I end you for coming here. You’re too weak to fly away. You’re probably too weak to even stand. The fact that you’re still conscious…” She shrugged and chuckled. “It’s impressive. But not for long. When you die, I want you to remember-”

“Yeah, screw this,” Aquamarine interjected, reaching her hand up to her head. She grabbed her bow, straightened it out with a flick of her wrist, and before Jasper could even register what she was doing, she sent a thin blue line of light directly towards her. It finally hit its target dead center in the chest, and the Quartz froze as an outline of light the same color as the beam covered her entire body. Her face twisted into one of shock at the last second, which was now the permanent expression she was wearing.

_“Finally…”_ Aquamarine gasped, doing her best to hold on to the wand, lest she drop it and doom herself. She pushed herself up off the ground with her other hand, ignoring the intense pain coming from every inch of his body. It felt like she was about to throw up her internal organs (if she had any), but sheer will powered through the pain as she stood on her own two feet again and sighed.

“Well, look at you.” She said to Jasper, approaching her without any sense of fear. “All that talk. All those promises of how you’re going to make my death last. Only for it to backfire so spectacularly. For all your bragging and boasting about strength, once the proper bit of leverage is applied…” She shook the wand around, making Jasper go back and forth in midair like a pendulum. “...there isn’t a scrap of it left in you. And maybe there never was. Maybe all that bragging and boasting and using your fists was all you had. I see why Ruby idolizes you, but me...I think now I see you for what you really are. Just a relic of the past, like my superior. Like the Diamonds. Like all of them.”

“...”

“But enough of that,” Aquamarine said, straightening herself. “I have to go find Ruby now and make sure she hasn’t been cracked, or worse. After that...well, you heard what I said about us being on a mission. I’m sure you can figure it out.”

And with that all settled, Aquamarine set off in the direction Jasper had sent her flying from, holding the Quartz with her wand like a balloon. Jasper was vividly struggling against the beam's power, but all she managed to do was make a few facial expressions that showed her unhappiness with the whole situation. Aquamarine put on a face of stoic silence, limping along as she felt an urge to throw her captive into the stratosphere and be done with it. But that was no option, as they needed the kill to be confirmed. She didn’t know how durable Jasper was, but she wouldn’t put it past her surviving a fall from orbit. And so she kept her thoughts to herself, taking in the silence of the forest.

Until…

“Yoooooooooouuuuuuuu……” A ghastly voice said, sounding like a thousand different ghosts trying to say the same word at once. Aquamarine squealed and turned around at lightning speed, expecting to see anything from White Diamond’s possessed Pearl to the Captain themselves…

...only to find...no one. No one but Jasper, still hanging in midair. Aquamarine scratched at her head, wondering if the noise had been a hallucination, before she heard it again, and _this_ time she knew exactly where it was coming from.

“Youuuuuu…” Jasper groaned, making Aquamarine gasp again and glance upwards at her. The Quartz had managed to somewhat take control of her mouth through pure force of strength alone, slowly moving it and attempting to communicate. Her face was so scrunched up that she looked like an elderly human, and her eyes were nothing but burning pits, full of a bottomless rage. Aquamarine let out a sigh of relief that the thing she thought was a possessed Pearl or that chainsaw murderer that was in that movie she watched one time turned out to be nothing but Jasper, although the fact that she was able to move at all still unnerved her slightly. 

“What?” She asked, staring up at her as the Quartz stared down. “What do you want? I’m not letting you go if that’s it-”

“Youuu’lllll…” Jasper started. “Youu...willlll neeeveer geeet awaaaay wiiiith thisssssss…” She hissed, her method of speech frankly making her quite difficult to understand.

“I already am,” Aquamarine said. “And there’s nothing you can do about. Did you not hear me earlier? You’re an antique! A relic! This technology is superior to your natural abilities, no matter how many punches you throw. I’m sorry, I don’t really _want_ to do this to you, but this is where your story comes to an end. Orders and orders, and you’re one of them.”

Jasper laughed after this, although the slow manner of her speech made it ten times more creepy than anything had the right to be. Aquamarine recalled another scene from that horror movie as this went on, where the killer tricked some victims into coming towards his location with a wind-up toy that laughed the exact same way Jasper just did.

And coincidentally, that scene also took place in a forest, and Aquamarine suddenly felt very small and vulnerable, even if the only threat there was entirely under her control.

Well, _almost_ entirely.

“Reeeeeliiic.” Jasper repeated. “Issss thaaaaaaat whaaaaat yooooouuuu thiiiinnnk offff meeeee? Nooootthinggg but aaaaaan antiiiique?”

“Pretty much,” Aquamarine said, trying not to show how creeped out she had gotten from that laugh. “Can we move along with this? If you have something important to say, just spit it out, otherwise, I’m smacking you into a tree a few times for good measure.”

“Aaaaadooorabllllleee.” Jasper seethed. “Yooooouuu thiiiink thaaaat youuuu areee innnn coooonnntroooollll offff theeee situationnnn? Yoooou have nooooo idea whaaaat you’re geeeeting into.”

“I could say the same about you,” Aquamarine said. “Also, how are you improving your speech? I noticed every other word was fine back there. I’m still freezing you. You shouldn’t be able to-”

“Sometimes…” Jasper said, casually flexing her knuckles, making Aqua take a step back in shock. “Relics like meeee...pack a feeeew more surprises thaaaaan you know. Foooor instance, this!”

Aquamarine was about to demand she explain how she was still able to move, but before she could, Jasper appeared to suck all her breath in and then flexed her entire body outwards at an incredible speed. And with a blinding flash of light, the outline of blue luminescence that once held her in place shattered into pieces and flew in all directions, vanishing into sparkles as soon as they hit something. The beam the wand was emitting sputtered out and then died, and Jasper fell to the ground, landing on one knee. Aquamarine was left standing in shock, looking like a frog with her bulged eyes and her mouth hung wide open, while Jasper glanced up at her and grinned.

“I’m surprised you got the drop on me that easily.” She said, straightening her back out. “I should have seen it coming, but I was a bit too busy enjoying the moment.”

“H-how?” Aquamarine stuttered. “How were you able to do that?!”

“Simple,” Jasper said. “You-”

Aquamarine didn’t hesitate.

The second Jasper broke free, she immediately thought up a plan. How Jasper escaped didn’t matter in the slightest. The question she asked had been nothing more than a distraction. Without warning, she whipped the wand sideways and grabbed a nearby tree with it, uprooting it with a flick of her wrist. She then flung it at Jasper, and the trunk of the massive plant smashed her in the face and sent her flying just like Aquamarine had been just a few minutes ago. 

Before the Quartz was even out of view, Aquamarine summoned her wings and flew off, cursing widely to herself and glancing around frantically for Eyeball, until she lay eyes on the red Gem lying at the base of a tree, trembling like she was stuck in the middle of a blizzard. She grabbed her hand and then took off into the sky, Eyeball going limp like a rag doll as she pushed her way through hundreds of branches and leaves. In a matter of seconds, she cleared the trees, the clear night sky bursting into view as a stiff breeze hit her. She hovered there for a few seconds, catching her breath and taking in the sudden tranquility of the situation.

At least, until, a boulder flew three inches past her head. Aquamarine shrieked and looked down, spotting Jasper, who looked more furious than ever and was carrying several giant boulders like they weighed nothing. She growled and prepared to throw another one, and Aquamarine realized that now would be a good time to leave. She turned around and started flying in the direction of Beach City, the lights being the only thing guiding her. A few more boulders flew past her, but they were way off their make as it was too dark for Jasper to properly see anything. Once she realized she was safe and out of range, the blue Gem stopped again and continued to catch her breath, although it was more out of adrenaline than exhaustion.

But as she huffed and prepared to leave, she heard Jasper screaming widely like a person possessed, or a group of raptors attempting to sing. Aquamarine wasn’t sure what to make of this, but at least she could assume that the Quartz wasn’t in a very good mood. The screams she made were audible up to a mile away as she flew off, and she hoped that nobody would come to check them up, lest they seal their fate at the hands of that... _thing_ , which was the only word Aquamarine could come up with to properly describe Jasper at the moment.

And then, after what felt like an eternity of flying, she made it back to the road. The lovely, familiar road that they once traveled. She touched down, almost crash landing, and fell to her knees before both her feet even fully touched the ground. Eyeball landed beside her with a heavy _thud_ , still drifting in and out of consciousness, and her only reaction was a soft groan that sounded like a person being disturbed from their sleep.

Aquamarine tried to stay awake after that. She really did. But the second she unsummoned her wings she was hit with an incredible wave of exhaustion, like it was waiting for her to finish exerting herself to hit rather than gradually building up her time. She used the last of her energy to flip onto her back and lay there panting, staring up at the stars.

Then she began to cry. Slow, silent tears, but they were there. They slid off her face and leaked onto the road below, vanishing into bits of light the second they stopped making contact with her. She did this for what felt like hours, sobbing to herself like a child. But it wasn’t because of her injuries. It wasn’t because she was worried about Eyeball.

It was because she had failed. Their first mission was a failure. The briefing had been wrong. Jasper _could_ escape from the wand’s tractor beam, and that little lost bit of information had forced them to pay the price.

And now she wasn’t sure what to do. Drag Ruby back to the ship and have them go off to the _other_ end of the universe, where they might be able to live a few hundred more years before the Captain finds them? Or continue the mission, go after Steven and the other targets, chalk this up as nothing more than a minor setback, and refuse to give up?

She chose the latter.

Because what else _could_ she do? The former would result in their deaths and torture, and like they had been repeating over and over again, they were in far too deep to do anything about it now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, their mission got off to a bit of a bad start. And yes, Jasper was just randomly wandering around those woods at night when she heard them talking. She does that sometimes. But the rest of this mission will not be any easier, and slightly repetitive at times, although I do feel like there will be a few upcoming moments that nobody will expect.  
> ...
> 
> Or you will. Probably that one. But anyways, until next time.


	25. Night

Footsteps. 

A sigh.

A cough.

A voice that said, “So...that didn’t go so well.”

And then a scoff, coming from none other than Eyeball, who looked at Aquamarine like she was stating the most obvious thing in the galaxy. (And one could argue that she was.) The two of them were high in the sky, Ruby holding on tightly to Aquamarine’s hand as she flew across the landscape, heading back towards Beach City to their next target. Steven Quartz Universe. Who by now was asleep in his bed, inside his heavily fortified house, having another nightmare about the day he blew up.

But let’s rewind. A few minutes after Aquamarine had finished sobbing, Eyeball finally came back into full consciousness, looking like a person who had woken up from a ten-year coma. She didn’t even have to ask what happened. She saw where they were, the state Aquamarine was in, and the look on her face. She could easily guess the rest. Her first question was to ask what they were going to do next, so Aqua hummed to herself for a minute before answering.

She wanted to keep going down the list, something that Eyeball strongly contested. _She_ suggested that they get out of dodge, go back to the Captain, and request a stronger weapon. Somehow she already figured out that Aquamarine’s wand had no permanent effect on Jasper, and the blue Gem wasn’t entirely sure how. But she knew, and that was what she said. Go back and ask for the strongest weapons that they had. Or better yet, get them to bring _The Betrayal_ to Earth and blast everyone away. Solve all their problems.

It took approximately ten seconds for Aquamarine to process what her partner just said, possibly because she didn’t want to believe Eyeball had said something so stupid. But after those ten seconds were up, she facepalmed with both hands and then gave the red Gem a lengthy and furious explanation as to why that was a terrible idea.

First off, they couldn’t go back for help no matter what. This first mission could, again, be seen as a test as to whether they were worthy of being part of the crew or not. If they turned back now, with none of their targets taken care of, then a fate worse than death awaited them. Who knows what the Captain would do to them for such a failure, never mind their psychotic first mate (As they were not even aware of Opal’s fate at the moment). If they wanted to keep their Gems intact, then they would have to stay and somehow complete their mission.

And the second reason was that even _if_ the Captain forgave them, they’d never send _The Betrayal_ on a mission like this. Emerald had told them that they were already taking a huge risk giving them one of the smaller ships like this, so the idea of the _biggest_ and most powerful and valuable ship was obviously something that they wouldn’t be keen on. Their suggestion would be shot down, just like that.

The entire explanation that Aquamarine gave was half an hour and ten times as long as what was just listed, so by the end Eyeball said she was completely off the idea, just so that she didn’t have to hear any more of Aquamarine’s yapping. But there was _one_ good thing that came out of it. After she was finished, Aquamarine made a comment on how, “I know we’re trying to respect each other’s opinions and suggestions more, so I’m sorry for disagreeing with you, but that was just a terrible idea”, which was something that brought a smile to Eyeball’s face. Because at least that meant Aquamarine was trying to use the advice that Frowney guy had given her. And she had apologized, something of a rarity. And so this momentary happiness replaced any desire in Eyeball to argue back, so she shook her head and said that she’d go along with Aquamarine’s plan, without even having to hear her reasoning behind it.

And now they were here.

And Eyeball had scoffed.

“No kidding.” She said. “It’s been like a half-hour since we left Jasper behind, and you’re only saying this now?”

Aquamarine rolled her eyes. “I wasn’t finished.” She groaned. “That didn’t go so well because of how we did it. When we go after Universe, I think we need to try something different so he can’t pull the same stunt on us like Jasper did.”

“You mean the part where she broke out of the tractor beam?”

“Yes,” Aquamarine replied. “I still don’t know how she did that, mostly because I threw a tree at her before she could explain, but I think it’s worth keeping in mind now that she somehow figured out how to do it. Which means others may know as well.” She paused and then glared at Ruby. “And if you say, “she did it because she’s just that strong”, I’m dropping you. I don’t want a single word coming out of your mouth that idolizes the same person who almost shattered us an hour ago.”

“You don’t have to worry about that.” Eyeball said, waving her off. “I don’t think I’m going to be doing that anytime soon.”

“Glad you came to your senses,” Aquamarine said. “Now, as I was saying, I think we should come up with a different way to defeat Steven and the others, and not just rely on the tractor beam at first.”

“It’s the middle of the night.” Eyeball pointed out. “Won’t he be asleep? Can’t I just sneak in and stab him in the head or heart or whenever and be done with it?”

“I agree that that _would_ be the easiest solution, but it also won’t work because of that. It’s just too easy.” Aquamarine explained. “There’s a lot that we have to be careful of. The fusion with the future vision is one of them. If she “sees” us attacking him, then it might be all over. This mission could be over. Which is why I suggest…” She took a deep breath and bit lightly at her lip. “That we take _her_ out first, rather than Steven.”

“...Do you really think that’s a good idea?” Eyeball asked. “The briefing did say that Steven is much more dangerous than her if he wants to be. Isn’t the whole point of this mission-”

“Taking out the most dangerous targets first so it’s easier later on?” Aquamarine said. “Yes, it _was_. But then we got beaten by Jasper, and so we’ve already gone off target with our mission, no pun intended. I say we think about this more logically. We have to take out the one with future vision. Simple as that.”

“But won’t she see us coming?” Eyeball pondered. “Actually, shouldn’t this have been a big concern before we even started the mission? It mentioned that she had future powers in the briefing, but it never said anything about a way to get past that…”

“I think I got a different briefing than you, if that’s the case,” Aquamarine said. “Mine had an explanation on how she can only see things that are a likely possibility. Meaning an event can happen that she never saw coming, as long as it didn’t make any sense to her beforehand and she truly believed that it was an impossibility.”

“Okay…” Eyeball said. “But how is _us_ attacking Steven an impossibility? Wouldn’t that be one of the more likely options? I’m sure they’re already on the lookout for us, so she should be able to spot us from a hundred timelines away.”

“Maybe in the old days when it was just us, but not now,” Aquamarine said. “She doesn’t know anything about the invisible ship. She doesn’t know that we’re working for the Captain. She doesn’t even know that I have this wand back! _Those_ are things that she will pass off as nonsense due to them being too unlikely. That is what will help us. And also…” Aquamarine smiled for the first time in almost an hour, and Eyeball almost felt unnerved from the sheer anticipation that was evident on her face. “...Even if she _does_ think that we’re out to get Steven, she’ll never suspect that we’ll be going after her first. The fusion will think that we’ll try to murder him and then leave. She won’t see us coming from behind, either with her fusion vision or literally.”

“I’m not so sure…” Eyeball said. “Last time, we were only beaten because of those three Gems fusing and smashing us into the ground. Don’t you think it’s possible that _they_ would also watch out for themselves in case we try to attack, because we’d want to finish them off first before we go after Steven so we won’t be interrupted?”

“...”

“...”

“You used “we” way too many times in that sentence.” Aquamarine scoffed. 

“But you see what I’m saying, right?” Eyeball asked. “We’re learning from our mistakes, but they might be as well! We’ve shown ourselves to be a genuine threat. I can only imagine all the precautions they’re taking to ensure that we won’t get far if we attempt to murder them all.”

“I see your point,” Aquamarine said. “But we can also assume that they _didn’t_. And right now, we don’t have any other options. Finishing the mission is the only way we’re going to survive being part of this crew, and I’m saying that this is the way to do it.” She huffed and ran a hand over her hair, flicking her bow with her fingers. “There’s nothing else we can do Ruby. Now do you agree with this plan or not? It’s fine if you don’t, you can stay behind while I take care of it myself, but it'd be better with both of us.”

“By _yourself?!”_ Eyeball exclaimed. “No offense, but just how do you expect to kill them all by yourself? I’m...I’m going to go along with this plan, because you’re right, we have no other choice, but how exactly did you intend on taking them on alone?”

“Same thing from earlier. I freeze them.” Aquamarine said. “And yes, I know I mentioned that we can’t rely on the wand anymore, but what went wrong with Jasper was that I gave her too much time to break free. I should have just picked up a sharp stick or something and stabbed her in the eye immediately. I don’t know. But the point is that we have to act, not react. We move as fast as possible. I freeze her, and you attack _without delay._ Cut off both of her hands and poof her, then you crush her Gems under your heel.”

“...I can only hope that you know what you’re doing.” Eyeball grimaced, before a sudden look of confusion spread across her face. “...Wait. You just said that Garnet won’t be able to see us coming because her future vision won’t predict that happening. But you _also_ said that the reason we’re taking her out first is so she doesn’t see us _with_ that! If there’s no chance that she’ll see us coming, then what’s the point of killing her first?”

“Because I’m not entirely sure that she won’t,” Aquamarine said. “Their briefing was pure speculation after all. And you made several good points of your own. It’s still possible that we are not invisible to her powers. Which is why we got to wack her first.”

“Wack?”

“A human phrase I learned.” Aquamarine explained. “Picked it up from the mission that Yellow and Blue sent me on.”

“...Right.” Eyeball sighed. “But I feel like there’s still a lot of possibility for failure here. That cursed future vision of hers…” She growled. “If she didn’t have that, then almost none of this would be necessary! We wouldn’t have to be hovering in midair talking things out!”

“Wait, we’re hovering in midair?” Aquamarine asked, before glancing downwards and seeing that Ruby was correct. She was flying in place, not towards the city like she had suspected. She was briefly confounded by this, before realizing that she must have been so involved in their conversation that she subconsciously stopped so they could finish it before being forced to land.

“Huh.” She said. “Well, we can’t have that. Off we go again.”

She then took off at half the speed of sound like a rocket, prompting Eyeball to briefly shriek and grip her hand with both of hers as an instinct. Without saying another word, the pair reached the outskirts of Beach City in no more than a minute (not counting the quick stop they made to check that the ship was still there), and they touched down next to a giant welcome billboard that was as large as a truck. The road that led into the city was a mildly steep downwards leading hill, and in the distance, they could see several humans and Gems walking around on the streetlight illuminated sidewalks.

Eyeball gave Aquamarine a look that said, “do we just sneak past them, or…?”, and Aquamarine gave one in response that said, “yes. If they spot us we could be compromised. Don’t let yourself be seen”. And with that, the two Gems began jogging down the hill, sticking to the outside of the sidewalk where the light from the street lamps didn’t reach. Eyeball got a sense of nostalgia as this went on, recalling some fond memories of all the times she snuck into enemy bases during the war to recover information. She was always in a squad with two other Rubies during these missions, although she was usually the only to actually infiltrate. The others just stood guard while she slipped in and did her thing.

And now she was on the same planet, sneaking into the base of the same faction, only this time it was an assassination job. Something that a Ruby would never be sent to do. Things like that were left to smaller Gems, like Iolites or Tourmalines. She had even heard of a _Pebble_ being sent into an enemy base to shatter someone with a specialized microscopic dagger. She didn’t know if they had succeeded in their mission, but it clearly showed just how lenient Homeworld was during the war at times. At least, in the middle of the battlefield. If word of something like that reached the higher-ups _of_ the higher-ups, they’d make sure to put a stop to it. 

And then another memory sparked through her head. At the very end of the war, when all three Diamonds showed up to Earth to put an end to all the fighting (Eyeball along with dozens of other Gems had scrambled to the window of the ship they escaped in to get a good look at them, only to see nothing but a flash of light), Eyeball along with everyone else received a dossier. It was full of information about how things were going to change. Era 2. A new Era, with only three reigning monarchs, like how it was in the old days. They also were slapped with a gag order, prohibiting them from speaking about Pink Diamond or her shattering in front of Gems who were ignorant about it. Obviously, Eyeball cared little for this order. She never understood why the other Diamonds wanted to erase their sister from history, and she didn’t want that to happen. So whenever Pink was brought up in secret, or any other circumstance, Eyeball always made sure to share her side of the story, and inform the Gems who didn’t know of her the truth.

It was a risky move. But she saw it as necessary. She couldn’t let Pink Diamond, _her_ Diamond, be erased forever. 

And now, even _more_ ironically, they were on a mission to murder the one that carried her Gemstone. A Gemstone that they knew they had to shatter. She had become the very opposite of what she pledged to be, a shattered no better than Pink’s “Rose Quartz” persona.

She would have laughed at the irony of it all if she didn’t find it so tragic. 

But Eyeball grit her teeth and banished these thoughts from her mind, coming back into the real world. She couldn’t be thinking about that kind of stuff at a time like this. If she hesitated before sinking her knife into Steven and those Gems, it could cost her and Aquamarine everything. Their mission, and quite possibly their lives as well, when the Captain found out what had happened and sent someone _else_ to go retrieve their bubbled Gems.

Aquamarine then suddenly put a hand up just as they reached the first building, a small house located on the outskirts of town. Eyeball stopped in place as she stared up at the imposing structure, which she noticed had windows with bars over it and what appeared to be reinforced walls.

“Okay,” Aquamarine whispered. “According to that map we saw the last time we were here, this is the house of the former mayor.”

“...Okay, but why have we stopped?” Eyeball asked. “Do we have to kill him as well?”

“No,” Aquamarine said. “I’m just collecting my bearings for a moment. Figuring out the best way to do this. The town is still full of humans and Gems. We could wait until they all head home and go to sleep, but I don’t want to risk the fact that some of them may stay awake all night for whatever reason. Especially the Gems.”

“I don’t see how that’s much of a problem.” Eyeball noted. “If we’re spotted, can’t you just use your wand and...dispose of them? Throw them out into the ocean where it might take them weeks to swim back? We’re not powerless here. We shouldn’t have to be afraid.”

“Hm. Well, I’m surprised _you’re_ the one that’s eager to start killing people that we don’t need to.” Aquamarine said, biting her lip. “But no. We can’t do that. There are too many of them down there, and if they see us harming people they might swarm us and tear us apart in a bloodthirsty rage.”

Eyeball gaped at Aquamarine, an expression on her face that might have been anything from disgust to shock. “...I don’t think the people down there are capable of that.” She said. “The humans down there are probably the friendliest on the entire planet, and the Gems are as well. They might restrain us if they run out of options, but I think their first move would be to go find the _actual_ fighters and alert them to what’s happening. You know, our _targets.”_

“Don’t look at me like you’re disgusted,” Aquamarine said. “You literally just proposed that I throw anyone that sees us out into the middle of the ocean. I don’t know about the Gems, but I’m pretty sure that I’d kill any humans I did that from the impact on the water alone.”

“Well, I-”

“Hello?” A sudden voice called out, causing the two Gems to freeze in place like robbers caught in the act. “Is someone out there?”

A light from the house next to them flicked on, and instantly they both realized that its occupant had been awoken by their squabbling. Without waiting, Eyeball grabbed Aquamarine’s arm and started dragging her away from the house and towards the town, and Aquamarine pulled her arm away and started moving on her own. If the human they had woken up said anything afterward, they didn’t hear it, and they ran down the rest of the hill as the light from the house became fainter and fainter.

“See? We didn’t need to throw anyone a hundred miles away!” Aquamarine said, come they had reached the bottom. “We’re not hurting anyone, odd as it may sound for that to come out of my mouth. We can just sneak around as I told you.”

“Didn’t that encounter inform us that we’re _not_ good at sneaking around?” Eyeball asked. “What if we had gotten caught?”

“I don’t think we’d have to worry about that actually, besides getting a few questions about what the heck we're doing lurking around that human's house,” Aquamarine said. “I remember the voices of everyone we came in contact with while on Earth, and his was not one of them. At worst he’d be confused, and then we’d just ignore him and walk away.”

“Didn’t we come into contact with almost _everyone_ in this town when we visited it as Bluebird?” Eyeball pointed out.

“Well, yeah, but he still wasn’t one of them,” Aquamarine said. “But now that I think about it, that may give us a bit of an advantage. People are going to be looking for Bluebird, not us. As long as we don’t run into the Gems or Connie or anyone like that, we should be fine.”

“Fine? Hold on.” Eyeball said. “Didn’t you say that we would have to avoid anyone and that they would be searching for the two of us?”

“I did. But then I realized something.” Aquamarine said. “Back on the bus. Did you see _any_ of those Gems or humans glance at us suspiciously? Make a face like there was something out of place?”

“No…”

“Exactly,” Aquamarine said. “I can’t believe he was this stupid, but I’m not sure if Universe told people to keep an eye out for _us_ as well, not just Bluebird. If he had, then those people would have pointed us out. But they didn’t. They all saw us, and hardly reacted. We’re in the clear here.”

“...Wow, okay. I hadn’t thought about that.” Eyeball admitted. “But we’re just about to enter the town, and I can already spot a few Gems walking around. I hope you’re right about this.”

“Trust me. I am. And in the rare occurrence that I’m not, I’ll just freeze them and throw them as far away as I can before anyone else sees us. There are only two Gems. We can handle it if things go wrong.”

“Again, I hope you’re right…”

“It’ll be fine,” Aquamarine reassured her. “Now let’s get to that Temple and continue with our mission.”

After that the two of them remained silent, walking as inconspicuously as they could as the two Gems that Eyeball had spotted walked past them. As Aquamarine predicted, the pair gave them a small wave before moving by, and Aquamarine made sure to return it. From then it was relatively easy as they were both able to relax, albeit keeping an eye put for any of their targets. Most of the people on the street were pairs of Gems or humans, and since they were chatting with each other and had their own things going on, this made it all the easier for Aquamarine and Eyeball to slink past without raising any suspicion. Eventually, they had made it through the main town, and the last streetlight started to fade as the sidewalk ended and gave way to something else.

They had reached the beach, and the pair both winced as they felt the cold and partially wet sand under their feet. It was a feeling that Aquamarine wasn’t sure she’d wanted to get used to. Eyeball, however, didn’t seem to mind, and even inched closer to the water and let the waves hit her ankles, and for a moment Aquamarine thought she spotted her looking out at the ocean as if memorized by the sight.

But whatever spell Eyeball was under vanished as soon as the house came into view. As expected, it was dark. Not a single light on anywhere. The front porch was vacant, and they both walked up to it and slowly ascended the stairs, the creaking of the wood under their feet seeming to grow louder with each step. Eventually, Aquamarine gave up and grabbed Eyeball’s arm before flying up to the top, remembering that they didn’t have to worry about being spotted by any townsfolk again.

“Okay.” She whispered, looking in through the screens. “I don’t see anyone in there. So Steven is probably asleep, and the Crystal Gems are in their rooms in that Temple. We should be able to sneak in without a problem.”

“We still don’t know how we’re going to get _in_ that Temple to take out the fusion though.” Eyeball said. “We didn’t think it through that far.”

_“You_ didn’t, but I did,” Aquamarine said, smirking. “It’s not a problem. That thing isn’t magic. It’s just Gem technology that reads their Gem and responds to the ID’s on them by scanning the surface. It’s nothing but a locked door. I’m going to use my wand to force it open, and that’ll be the end of it.”

“And what about _this_ one?” Eyeball asked, positioning a thumb at the thin wooden door that stood in front of them.

“Easy,” Aquamarine said, before whipping out her wand and shooting her tractor beam at it. The light enveloped the entire frame, and with a stiff tug, she forced it open, a small _clank_ ringing out as the metal latch that locked it fell to the ground. They both sucked their breath involuntarily and waited a few seconds to see if anyone would appear, grab them, and then save Jasper the trouble.

But thankfully, no such event happened and the door steadily swung open by itself like it was possessed. Eyeball and Aquamarine exchanged glances and then hurried inside, carefully shutting it behind them. (It swung open again a second later, to which no one paid any notice.)

The two of them suddenly got deja-vu as they looked around, flashbacks of the party that was thrown for them a few months ago popping into their heads. Then the other things: Leaving toilet paper on Steven’s car. Trying to “poison” him with clams, grass, and peanut butter, which were three things that they heard a large number of humans had “allergies” for. The knife mishap, watching the horror movie, and then...swiftly getting their butts kicked. First by Steven turned pink, and then by a giant fusion. 

But hey, at least the first few memories were fun.

However, this was still no time to be dwelling on the past. They both glanced towards the stairs that led to Steven’s room, identical thoughts of murder swimming through their minds. But Aquamarine snapped them both out of it (herself figuratively and Ruby literally by snapping her fingers in front of her face) and the two carefully tip-toed towards the Temple door. 

And after a brief but harrowing journey across the room, they stood in front of the intimidating gate, twice as tall as them. Aquamarine aimed her wand and fired another beam, and it covered it entirely like the last one. But _unlike_ last time, it was much more of a struggle to get it open. The entrance made several cracking noises like a Gem being shattered as Aquamarine slowly forced it open, as if it was alive and she was killing it by doing this. After it opened a tiny crack, Eyeball stuck her hands in and started pulling it apart, and eventually stuck her knife in between the two sides in case Aquamarine lost her grip.

“I think that’s good enough!” She whispered. “We don’t have to open it all the way! Just partially!” She then proved this point by ducking under her knife and squeezing into the Temple, making it to the other side after half a minute of maneuvering. Aquamarine nodded and then inched her way toward the door, pushing her way through it just like Ruby had. The grip on her wand was almost a matter of life and a major inconvenience, lest she lose it and potentially decapitate herself or be sliced in half.

And then Ruby would have to wait for her to reform, which might take _hours_ , and that was something neither of them would particularly enjoy. But neither of them would have to, considering that with one final push from herself and a pull from Ruby, she made it through.

She then tied her wand back up in her hair and the beam vanished, resulting in the door shutting with a loud _SLAM_ that echoed throughout the entire room they were standing in.

And then they both turned around, preparing themselves to see anything from a Gem harvesting station to Opal herself, slow clapping at them…

Only to be greeted with nothing.

Emptiness. A completely blank void, devoid of any light, color, or texture. It was like they had entered a black hole, the bottom of the ocean, or anything else they could be described as an abyss. They looked to their left, and then their right. There was still nothing. The door was still there, but that was about it. Eyeball gulped and took a nervous step forward, her foot landing on something solid. To Aquamarine it sounded like stone, but when she activated her Gem and cast a beam of light in where Eyeball was standing, there was only more darkness. 

In fact, the light didn’t seem to have any effect at _all_. It vanished into the “floor” the second it hit it, as if the dark was swallowing it up. Eyeball noticed and turned on her light, only for the same thing to occur. It then struck them both that lights were useless in here, and everything else likely was as well.

“Well, this isn’t what I expected.” Eyeball said. “I thought there would be...something. I don’t know. Back when we were deceiving them, we weren’t allowed in here, but they talked about how big some of the rooms were. About the Crystal heart that powered it all. And how…” She gasped as a vital memory came to mind. “...how the rooms can’t exist without them.”

“Oh. So _that’s_ it.” Aquamarine sighed. “I noticed there are five dots on the door. One for each of them. I assume that each one signifies a room, and I’m betting there are a lot more that they have access to. But...only them. Since our Gems don’t have access to the Temple, and we forced it open, there _are_ no rooms we can get to. It’s like...we need their permission. Like a passcode built into their Gems.”

“You did say the door reads them…” Eyeball muttered, before taking a few more steps forward, walking entirely on nothing. “Are...you sure that this place isn’t actual _magic_ now? I’ve never heard of Gem technology like this. Does it switch the rooms around, or is that hill a lot larger on the inside, or-”

“Calm down,” Aquamarine said. “This can be easily explained. It works the same way as a Gem storing something in their Gemstone. A pocket dimension of sorts that the Temple places the rooms in when they’re not in use or being accessed. When they are, they’re expanded and released. But when the door closes again, the Temple places the room back in the pocket dimension, along with any of its inhabitants. And when they want to leave, it just releases them again. It’s very simple if you think about it.”

“Simple for _you.”_ Eyeball said. “But didn’t they say that all the rooms are connected? How does that work?”

“What do you mean? The rooms are all connected in the pocket dimension. It’s honestly not that…wait.” She said, her eyes lighting up. “If all the rooms are connected, and I believe they mentioned they are via giant pink tubes that lead to the Crystal heart, then it _may_ be possible that we can get to another room-”

“By finding the tube in this one.” Eyeball finished. “But those tubes are what carry the...energy, I guess, to each room so it can be powered. But there’s nothing in this one. So why would this room need a tube?”

“Just because there’s nothing doesn’t mean that it doesn’t need energy,” Aquamarine claimed. “The Temple still has to create this blank void for us, otherwise we’d have just run into a dirt wall, and that entire hill would flow in here like a river.”

“...”

“...”

“...You have no idea how this really works, so you?” Eyeball asked rhetorically, tiredly narrowing her eye. 

“Definitely not,” Aquamarine admitted. “But I do believe that there is one of those tube things in here. So just walk around and start searching. But always look back every now and then so you don’t lose sight of the door. The last thing we want is to wander too far and get lost in here.” She shook her head. “We’ll never find our way out.”

“At least we’ll be safe from the Captain. I’d be surprised if there are any of their nanobots in _here_.” Eyeball pointed out.

“Heh.” Aquamarine chuckled. “Can’t argue with that.”

And then the two stopped talking and began searching. They both headed in opposite directions, Aquamarine going right while Eyeball went left, holding their hands out in front of them like zombies. Their Gem flashlights were on, even if they were mostly useless, and both of them remembered to look back every ten seconds or so. They both had a deep fear that the door would suddenly vanish, and the further away they got the stronger the feeling became.

“It’s okay.” Eyeball said to herself, confident that she was now far away enough that Aquamarine couldn’t hear her. “It’s just a dark room. It’s not infinite. It can’t be. That’d take up too much energy. Even if you went in a straight line forever, you would end up back where you started, Ruby. You’ll find that tube eventually. Just keep searching…”

So search she did. And after what felt like ten minutes, Eyeball yelped as she suddenly felt her hands pressed against something smooth and glass-like. For a moment she thought she had reached the endpoint of the room, nothing but a wall, but as she moved her hands up and down the surface she realized that the “wall” curved tightly and was in fact surrounded by a decent-sized hole when she stuck her foot out, carved into the floor.

“Found it.” She breathed, and she turned around to call out towards Aquamarine, only to gasp. Because the door was no longer in her sights, and neither was Aquamarine. Just the void. Eyeball suddenly began to grow panicky, feeling very small as she realized that she was well and truly alone in this room, and she began wondering if-

**_BANG_ **

“OW! What the heck was that?!”

Eyeball shrieked and spun around at the sound of her partner’s voice, which was so loud that she thought it had come an inch from her ear. Behind her was Aquamarine, lying on the ground, rubbing her head like she had cracked it against something. Eyeball stared at her for a second, wondering how she could have possibly gotten here considering that they went in different directions, but before she could think about it any further Aquamarine had the same thought, only she expressed it vocally.

“Ruby?” She said. “What are you doing here? I thought you went in the other direction! Did you follow me once you thought I wasn’t looking?!”

“N-no.” Eyeball stuttered. “I’ve been going in a straight line the whole time, until I stumbled upon the tube that leads to the other rooms. D-did you run into it?”

“Is _that_ what that was?!” Aquamarine exclaimed, getting to her feet and carefully reaching her hand forward until she made contact with the tube. “I didn’t even see it. Or you. How is that...no, wait. First things first, how are _you_ here when we went in opposite directions and in straight lines? How did we end up at the same point?”

“I think...space works differently in here.” Eyeball said. “You mentioned that the room can’t be infinite. I think this is its way of dealing with that problem, and it’s also just like I suspected would happen. If you walk in the same direction for too long, you’ll end up back where you started.” She explained. “That’s how we both found this thing. The rooms somehow turned us around or...turned itself around to force us to go back to the direction of the door. And the tube is just in the way.”

“Well, isn’t that convenient,” Aquamarine muttered. “Now, why didn’t I see you until five seconds _after_ I hit the tube? Was it just so dark that you were practically invisible? Did the room make us unable to see each other? Did the space-warping effect only come into play after we both stumbled upon it? What’s the big explanation this time?”

“Uh...I was standing directly behind it, and it was too wide for you to see any part of me.” Eyeball said awkwardly. “That’s your big explanation.”

“Oh. Well, that’s slightly anticlimactic.” Aquamarine said, before sighing. “Alright. Nevermind all that for now. So this is it, huh? This is our way out of here?”

“I think so.” Eyeball said. “There’s a large hole surrounding it, and I think that’s our way out. You should count yourself lucky that your face made contact with the tube before your foot did, otherwise who knows where you’d be right now.”

“Yeah, real lucky,” Aquamarine said drily. “I guess we should just slide down it then. Or climb down it. Whatever works.”

“We’re going to have to climb down.” Eyeball said. “The hole is big, but not big enough that we’ll be able to slide freely and without any chance of us getting harmed by scraping ourselves against the wall, also, it might get thinner as we go further down, and there’s no way that that scenario _doesn’t_ end badly.”

Aquamarine winced. “No kidding. You first then. I’m right behind you.”

“Got it.” Eyeball said, before leaning forward and gripping the poor with both of her arms. It was still smooth as the first time she had touched it, although now that she was using both arms it was easier to gain some leverage. She then pushed off the ground and scrunched her fingers up as she felt herself starting to slide down, with the edges of the hole scraping against her feet. They weren’t jagged in any way; they were smooth like the tube itself, but Eyeball knew that all she had to do was start going a little faster and then her Gem could be grounded into a pile of sand by the time she reached the bottom.

“Okay.” She said. “Just follow behind me. Carefully. Use your wings if you need to.”

Aquamarine nodded, and with that Eyeball began her slow descent into the Temple, inching downward a few centimeters at a time. Eventually Aquamarine had enough space to start following her, and in a few minutes, the top of the hole had disappeared from view, leaving only the edges pressing against their backs and the sounds of their own movement.

‘I can’t believe this.’ Eyeball thought. ‘I feel like I’m descending deeper and deeper into the Earth with every step we take in this mission, and this one is practically literal! First, we get into countless arguments, which I suppose was solved by that Frowney guy…’ She stopped for a moment before continuing, wondering why she was thinking all that at a time like this. ‘...and then we hit a setback with Jasper, and now we’re sneaking into the Crystal Gem’s Temple, to shatter a fusion who has future vision, and I honestly believe that we don’t have a chance to kill all of them. We were lucky to escape Jasper alive, and even if we _somehow_ get them all before they catch us, we still need to go back and take care of her, something that I have no idea how we’re going to accomplish.’

Eyeball then shuddered and glanced upwards, where she saw Aquamarine wearing a weary expression, which for some reason she felt mirrored her own. Desperate to escape her thoughts or just do something that wouldn’t make this so nerve-racking, Eyeball spoke up about it.

“You’re thinking about where it went wrong to, aren’t you?” She asked, more of a statement than a question. “About where this mission took such a wrong turn.”

Aquamarine looked at her partner in surprise, which was proof enough for Eyeball that she was right on the money. Her expression quickly turned into a morose one, and her eyes narrowed slightly. But in no way was it because of anger. Rather, Eyeball thought she now looked exhausted.

“More than that.” She said softly, preparing herself for _another_ “serious” talk between the two of them. “It’s more been thinking about where it _all_ went wrong. I had it all, Ruby. I was one of the most respected Aquamarines on Homeworld. I didn’t call myself the best because of an ego thing. I called myself that because it was what _others_ called me. I never slipped up. I never did the wrong thing. I knew what I had to do. I knew what it took to get the job done, and I never hesitated with an order. Those things made me climb up the ladder, higher than any other Aquamarine, until I finally reached the number one spot.”

Eyeball nodded. “I get what you mean, in a way. I was one of the oldest Rubies on Homeworld. There weren’t many of us who survived the Gem war, and most of those that did were shattered later, used as cannon fodder to clear out hostile organics on colony worlds. They fell, but so did we. I think by the time my squad went to Earth with the Red Eye...there was only a handful of us veteran Rubies left. And I mean that literally. Our numbers were so low that you could count how many of us there were on one hand.”

Aquamarine gulped. “I...never knew about any of that. I knew Rubies had it tough, but I never imagined that-”

“No. Don’t feel sorry for me right now.” Eyeball interjected. “I shouldn’t have interrupted you like that with a story of my own. I just...wanted to show you that I understood. What it was like to be at the top, one of the most valued, even if that value was still close to nothing.”

“...Alright,” Aquamarine said. “Well, I...I had reached the number one spot. All the other Aquamarines turned away when I passed by, clearly jealous of what I had attained. I enjoyed it to the point where I walked around looking for other Gems of my cut whenever I had even the smallest amount of free time. Their reactions...the look on their faces...it was something I loved seeing. But eventually, I grew bored with it. Their reactions no longer brought me any joy. Not much did in fact. And I think that was how it went for hundreds of years. I never had any...fun, is what I think the humans call it. I did my job as I always had, only this time without enjoying it. I _tried_ to enjoy it. Laughed. Played. Acted like a child. Most of it was an act, some of it was genuine, but for the most part...it was nothing more than a coping mechanism.”

“Jeez…” Eyeball said. “So all those times I saw you laughing and just...acting childish, was that all faked? None of it was real?”

“Oh no, that was real,” Aquamarine said. “The whole “act” thing is before the empire was dissolved and I no longer had to follow orders blindly. Although I suppose that I’ve gone right back to that.”

Eyeball’s face dropped, and she opened her mouth to say something, but Aquamarine made a low humming noise and shook her head frantically like there was something stuck to her nose. “Don’t.” She said, her voice sounded like it was attached to an extremely anxious person. “I know you’re going to try to comfort me, but you don’t have to. I just need a minute to calm down. Thinking about all this, after spending so much time trying to forget it...I don’t think it’s working wonders for me.”

“...Okay.” Eyeball said, unclear on how humming and head-shaking were supposed to fix that, but not in any mood to try and stop her. “If you need a few minutes, we can stop and-”

“No, keep going.” Aquamarine requested, tapping Eyeball’s head with the bottom of her foot. “We don’t need to pause anything.”

“Are you sure?”

“Positive.” She said, even though it was clear to see that she was unsure of this answer. Eyeball frowned before continuing her climb down, this time much slower than before. Aquamarine hummed for a few more moments before continuing with her story like nothing happened, although Eyeball could hear the weariness and fragility in her voice.

“A-and then came that mission.” She said. “The one I’ve mentioned so many times before. Just go to Earth. Collect some humans. At worst you’ll be confronted with the Crystal Gems and you’ll have to throw them around with your wand. Simple as that.” She groaned lightly before scoffing, now sounding extremely frustrated. “And of course, you know how that turned out. Steven revealed he was “Rose Quartz”, we left for Homeworld, Topaz betrayed me on the ship and tried to poof me, and I just _barely_ made it out of that one…”

“I...didn’t know that.” Eyeball interrupted. “Why did she betray you? Don’t Topazes have a reputation for being dead loyal, no matter what? I don’t think there was a single instance of a Topaz fighting for the rebels during the Gem War…”

“I actually don’t know _why_ she betrayed me, if I’m being honest,” Aquamarine said. “I just showed up, and she was trying to help Steven and the other human we captured escape. I think he had talked her into helping them, but she never confirmed that for me. Especially since after I talked her out of it, we agreed to never speak about it again. And after that, she was back to her old, “dead loyal” self.”

“Eugh.” Eyeball spat, like she had a bad taste in her mouth. “Is there anyone Steven can’t get to? From what I’ve seen and heard, he has this uncanny ability to make anyone join his side. First that Lapis, then the Peridot, then your Topaz, and finally all three of the Diamonds!”

“Don’t forget Jasper,” Aquamarine said. “While you were knocked out, she told me that she killed any trespassers who came into her forest, except for Steven. So I think it’s safe to say that he “got to her” as well.”

“Huh. Guess that explains why the bus driver mentioned that people were disappearing in it...” Eyeball said. “But that’s just fantastic. And it only proves my point. How does he even do that? Does he have some special...aura of something, that he gets from Pink’s Gemstone? Does it allow him to force others to be his friends?”

“I don’t think so, considering that we’ve been around him plenty and we both still hate him immensely,” Aquamarine said. “I think he’s just good at talking things out. Which is why if he wakes up, we should probably attack before he has a chance to speak. I don’t want to give him any opportunities to do to you-” 

She suddenly paused mid-syllable, as if regretting what she said. Eyeball looked at her in confusion, unsure if she had heard Aquamarine correctly.

“...What were you about to say?” She asked, stopping again and staring up at her partner with concern. “I didn’t hear the end of that.”

“I…” Aquamarine started. “I said I don’t want to give him any opportunities to do to _us_ what he did with Topaz. If he starts talking and running his mouth about how we should all get along, that little friendship power of his might corrupt us like it did the others. Our hate for him is strong, but considering that he got _White Diamond_ herself to join his side...I don’t want to take any chances.”

“That’s a good idea.” Eyeball said, before resuming her climb. “So, what happened after Topaz?”

“Oh, nothing much,” Aquamarine said. “And I do mean that. We got back to Homeworld, I was congratulated for doing a good job, and then I was left alone and given another mission. Same thing as always. I knew that Steven had escaped because of a few rumors I overheard, but that was the end of it. I didn’t go and actively seek him out. I just wanted that chapter in my life story to be closed.”

“But if that’s true, then why did you agree to help me when we met?” Eyeball asked. “The first conversation we had was about how much we hated Steven, in that little “therapy group” the Diamonds set up for Gems who were having trouble adapting. Both of us were kicked out, and then our partnership started there. We both agreed to work together to kill him.”

“I changed my mind for the same reason I was _in_ that therapy group,” Aquamarine said. “I didn’t want to have to change my ways after so long. Sure, I might not have been the happiest Gem in the universe with my job, but I got it done. I did what I had to do. And then Stevens came back and undid everything! Told us we had to make our _own_ choices now, without _anyone_ telling us what to do! And while I...did enjoy that part somewhat, he still caused my position to be taken away, along with my wand, which was my only personal possession. He left me with _nothing.”_

Aquamarine then let out a gigantic sigh, and Eyeball could practically feel the puff of air from where she was. “So that’s about it.” She said. “Where it all went wrong. I don’t think I can pinpoint any specific moment. Maybe it was when I stopped enjoying my job as much. Maybe it was when I captured Steven and took him straight to the Diamonds. Maybe it was when he took control and reformed the whole system, ruining my life along with the lives of thousands of other Gems.”

“...”

“...”

“...I think it’s the third one.” Eyeball quipped.

Aquamarine snorted. “Like I said, maybe. But I think where it _really_ went wrong for us was when we met the Captain, and agreed to be part of their dumb little crew. Because that moment had led us to where we are now. Climbing down a tube in the dark, talking about the same things over and over in the most repetitive manner possible, and trying to assassinate a Gem who might already know we're here and could be very well waiting at the bottom of this thing for us. None of this is what I’d call...enjoyable.”

“I’m sure it’s going to be a little fun when we get to Steven and finally kill him.” Eyeball said. “I’ll summon two knives and give you one of them. We can stab him at the same time. You get his Gem, and I’ll get his organic half by stabbing him in the head.”

“Sounds like a plan,” Aquamarine said. “Although remember, it doesn’t matter anymore who does it. If things go wrong and you see an opportunity…”

“Take it. I know.” Eyeball said. “But I still feel like this is something we should do together. It’s just a shame that he’s going to be asleep...hopefully, when it happens. I would love to see the look on his face.”

“Well, maybe we can hide somewhere after we kill him and the fusion and watch the _other_ Gems reaction to his death. That alone should be entertaining enough.” Aquamarine said. “And while they’re sobbing their eyes out, I can freeze them and you can shatter them. As fast as possible.”

Eyeball chuckled. “I can already see it. I think that Pearl of theirs was the one who tended to cry most. I wonder how long that would go on for. A few hours? Days? I think we could learn just how long a Gem can cry for from this…”

Aquamarine laughed in response, the sadism buried deep within her coming out at the mention of all her enemies' suffering. “And the Amethyst…” She said. “She likes to eat. I think humans do this thing if they get stressed or upset. They eat their problems away. She’ll probably empty out that entire fridge in a matter of minutes!”

Eyeball nodded enthusiastically and smiled. “Then there’s the Lapis...imagine if she summons a tidal wave or something out of anger. It could take out the whole town and do part of its job for us!”

“Don’t forget the Bismuth and the Peridot,” Aquamarine said in a sing-song voice. “The former will be making things all day long, trying to get her head off it, and the latter…”

“...She’ll be trying to track us down.” Eyeball said. “But I do remember that she has some surveillance building in little Homeworld. We’ll just go there and wait for her. _Her_ face we’ll get to see before she dies.”

Aquamarine laughed again at the thought of this, a laugh that was pure and genuine, evil yet happy. Eyeball glanced at her in surprise, before laughing along and stopping in place. Tears streamed from their eyes as they chortled together, their voice echoing throughout the narrow passageway they were in. Finally, the excitement died down and so did their giggles, and Eyeball wiped some water from her eye as she coughed a few times to get herself out of it.

“Well, look at that.” She said. “Just a few minutes ago you were humming frantically to calm yourself down, and now we’re laughing with each other like the happiest Gems in the galaxy. And all it took was talking about how pathetic and sad the reactions of Steven’s friends are going to be.”

Aquamarine let out a “pft” sound after this, before tapping Ruby with the top of her foot again and telling her to keep moving. “Yes. Murder. The most hilarious subject when it comes to Gemkind.”

“That’s not a good joke.” Eyeball said, who began climbing down again. 

“It wasn’t meant to be one.”

And with that, the two of her continued descending into the Temple in silence, both of them in a conveniently better mood than before. It was another ten minutes before Eyeball glanced down and saw a giant light in the distance, almost orange in color.

“I see something.” She whispered. “A light. I think we reached the end of the tube.”

“Finally,” Aquamarine said. “But make sure to be quiet from now on. If we keep talking like this, then someone’s bound to hear us before we even have a chance to sneak up on them.”

“Got it.” Eyeball said, and the two shut their mouths, this time knowing that it might be a while before they had the chance to do so again. As they got closer and closer to the exit, Aquamarine suddenly began to feel much hot, as if a great wave of heat was coming from the room beyond. If Ruby was affected by this in any way she didn’t show it, but Aquamarine felt like she had walked into a sauna going at full blast.

And then with a minute more of climbing, the light became a wide hole and the hole expanded to reveal the room waiting for them. The two shielded their eyes and eye instinctively from the light, the sudden explosion of brightness being almost too much to handle after spending so long in the dark. But once they opened them again they both gasped at the sight before them. A giant stone area, with dozens of tubes making up the ceiling, a large pit of lava in the middle of it all. But what was really disturbing was the bubbles. There were dozens of bubbles scattered around the room, all of them containing what appeared to be Gem shards stuck to one another, like someone had taken a tube of super-glue and slathered it over them both. None of the bubbles contained any Gems that appeared to be normal or intact, leaving them both clueless as to what they were seeing.

But the most _important_ part was that nobody else was there with them. The room was vacant. The fusion nor any of the other Gems were present. Aquamarine let out a small curse under her breath, as this meant that they'd just have to keep searching and waste more time. Worse came to worse, the fusion and the other two were at the ruins of Little Homeworld, and if this was the case then everything they had just done in the past half-hour was pointless.

“Alright.” She said, earning a shocked look from Eyeball. “What? There’s no one here. We can whisper. Come on.”

Aquamarine then summoned her wings and flew down to the floor, and Eyeball hesitated before jumping off and landing beside her. The two reflexively glanced back up at the bubbles again, both of them thinking the same thing.

“So…” Aquamarine started. “This is a first for me, but I have no idea what we’re looking at here. What...are those? They look like a bunch of Gem shards stuck together. I know the Crystal Gems healed the corrupted ones, but this...I don’t know what this is.”

“I have a...vague idea.” Eyeball said. “When my squad and I went to Earth, we were warned that if the ground started shaking beneath our feet that we should leave the planet as fast as possible. Apparently, they couldn’t tell us everything, but what they _did_ tell us was that there was a geo-weapon buried inside the planet, and it was made up of Gem shards from the war. I think it was supposed to form into something called the Cluster, which would be...a giant fusion monster bigger than the Earth with no free will?” She shrugged. “I don’t know. That’s all I can remember. But since it was on schedule to destroy the Earth years ago, I guess that means the Crystal Gems stopped it. I have no idea what happened to it later.”

“...”

“...”

“That...is how honestly terrifying,” Aquamarine said, a look of horror on her face. “It was going to destroy the _whole_ planet? And they sent me and Topaz there without knowing that it was destroyed? We didn’t get anything like that in our mission report! A geo-weapon or “the Cluster” was never mentioned anywhere! For all they knew, that thing could have come out at any time and we’d be dead!”

“I think they knew something was wrong by that point.” Eyeball said. “But anyway, I guess these things are all just pieces of it? Or maybe prototypes they found?” She sighed. “As I said, I’m not sure. But all in all, I think it would be in our best interest to _not_ pop them.”

“Wait…” Aquamarine said. “I think I have an idea.”

‘Oh no.’ Eyeball thought, before speaking up. “What is it? Are you actually going to _free_ these things?”

“Not right now,” Aquamarine said. “But I think I know how we can use them. If it was just us killing Steven, then they’d know it was us because of the stab marks from your knife. After that, we’d have to be more careful because they would be looking for us. But…” She grinned widely and pointed towards the bubbles. “Say we spread those things around his room after the job's done. Cover them with that odd red liquid humans are filled with. Make the Crystal Gems think that _they’re_ the culprits, not us. And then they'll poof them and think the danger is gone, which is where _we_ will come in.”

“I...think I’m starting to get what you’re saying.” Eyeball said. “When the Gems see his body and them covered in that liquid, we’ll immediately be beyond suspicion. And...there’s another thing we should do!” She exclaimed, an imaginary lightbulb appearing above her head. “He has a bunch of knives in that kitchen of his. If we use a couple of _those_ to kill him instead of my dagger, and plant two of them next to the fusion things…”

“...We can make them think that they grabbed a couple of knives and stabbed him to death!” Aquamarine finished, shaking with excitement like a child. “That wasn’t part of the original plan, but it definitely makes it better! Then there’s _no_ way for them to suspect us, besides...the fact that they’re going to question how these things got out of the bubbles in the first place.”

“Eh. I’m sure they’ll just blame Amethyst.” Eyeball said. “From what I remember, she tended to screw up a lot.”

“...Sure, let's just go with that,” Aquamarine said. “Then it’s settled. After we take care of the fusion, we’ll grab a bunch of these bubbles, those knives, kill him, release these, and wait for the fireworks to start.”

“Is that another Earth phrase?”

“Yes.” 

“Hm. I think I like the other one-” Eyeball started to say, before she frantically whipped around towards the Temple door. “Do you hear that?”

“Hear wha-”

“HIDE!” She said, grabbing Aquamarine’s arm and yanking them both behind one of the tubes. Aquamarine didn’t hear anything but didn’t resist, knowing that Eyeball wouldn’t do something like this unless it was serious. A few seconds after they darted behind the tube, the sound of the Temple door opening rang in Aquamarine’s ears, and several footsteps were heard. Loud, heavy, and only one person. Aquamarine looked at another tube and saw in the reflection of it none other than the fusion herself. Garnet. In her hands was a bubble, and inside of it was another one of those shard things.

“Holy-It’s her.” She whispered to Eyeball, who nodded. “Should I freeze her?”

“Wait for my signal.” Eyeball said, her Gem glowing as the hilt of a knife appeared out of it. She grabbed it and yanked out her dagger, gripping it tightly in her hand. “Wait for it...wait for it…”

Aquamarine whipped out her wand and prepared herself as Garnet let go of the bubble, causing it to float to the ceiling.

“Now!” Eyeball whispered, and without hesitation, Aquamarine leaped out from behind the tube and shot a beam of light directly at Garnet, who predictably froze in place once it made contact. Eyeball didn’t wait for another chance, running forward with her knife raised high in the air. Garnet’s face remained still as a stone as she showed no signs of struggling as Eyeball made her way towards her. 

And then with a leap in the air and a downward slash, Eyeball sliced off Garnet’s left arm, and then swung her knife upward and chopped off the right one before her left one had even hit the ground. Two Gems of opposite hue fell and hit the ground with a _clang_ , like metal being smashed against stone. Garnet’s form glitched for a fraction of a second and then poofed, a miniature cloud of smoke enveloping Eyeball and temporarily blocking her vision. With its target gone, Aquamarine’s tractor beam vanished and returned to the wand, while she herself looked on in shock, as if unable to believe what she just witnessed.

As the dust finally cleared and Eyeball could see again, she looked down at the two Gems, lying side by side. Her knife vanished into sparkles of light at the speed of thought, and she glanced at the tube-ceiling and closed her eye.

“Well, that was quicker than expected.” Aquamarine chirped, stepping out from behind the tube. “Is she gone? Are you...uh, alright?”

“I’m okay.” Eyeball said. “Just relieved that we managed to get it done with no difficulties. You’re right after all. It was pretty fast. I expected _something_ to go wrong there.”

“True. But let’s not waste any time.” Aquamarine said. “I’m sure those two are scrambling to reform right now. We should drop them in that pit of lava over there before they have a chance to.”

“Alright.” Eyeball said, picking up Sapphire’s Gem and handing it to Aquamarine. She picked up Ruby’s and the two of them walked over towards the pool of lava, so hot that Aquamarine had to turn away from it once they got close. They both held their hands over it, ready to release the Gems and finally complete part of their mission.

“One,” Aquamarine said.

“Two.” Eyeball said.

“Three.” They both said, and simultaneously they dropped the red and blue Gemstones, and it suddenly felt like a great weight had been lifted from their shoulder. They almost seemed to fall in slow motion, like time itself was slowing down for this one specific moment. But then it was over. They hit the lava and disappeared beneath the surface of it a second later, a thin trail of steam being all they left behind.

“...”

“...”

“Well,” Aquamarine said, as a few bubbles came to the surface and popped, as if someone was drowning beneath it. “Eight left now. At least we _finally_ got one of them. Err...two of them.”

“Yeah.” Eyeball said. “Finally.” She looked back up at the bubbled Gems, particularly the one that Garnet had just released. It was another one of those fusion things, a red and light blue shard stuck together. 

‘A Ruby and an Aquamarine.’ She thought, recognizing the Gem types in an instant. ‘How ironic. I already know what that looks like when it’s a consensual fusion. But what would it look like when they’re stuck together like that?’ She wondered, tilting her head at the bubble.

“Well, no time to waste,” Aquamarine said, as Eyeball remained stuck in her own head. “We should probably grab a few of these bubbles and keep going. Things are finally going to plan, and I’d like to keep them that way.” She then glanced towards Eyeball and noticed her staring up at the bubble, almost in a trance. “Um...are you okay? Did melting those two down bring some war memories back or…?”

“No, it’s…” Eyeball mumbled, before pointing at the encased shards. “...those. It’s made up of the shards from an Aquamarine and a Ruby. I was just wondering if it would look like Bluebird, or something else entirely.”

“Really?” Aquamarine asked, following Eyeball’s gaze and squinting at the bubble. “How can you tell? If someone asked me to identify those, I would say they could be anything from a Carnelian and an Opal to a Spinel and an Agate. How can you tell that they’re our Gem types just like that? And inside a bubble no less.”

“I’ve seen enough Gems shattered during the war to know exactly which shard goes to which Gem.” Eyeball deadpanned. “And those are _definitely_ an Aquamarine and a Ruby. I...I just know it.”

“Hm. Well, if it bothers you then we don’t have to use that one.” Aquamarine said, casually passing it off. “I think we should get about three. Two of them for the two knives, and then one more for good measure. Any other would look too suspicious because they’d assume that Steven should have woken up from their footsteps.”

“Okay.” Eyeball said, turning away from the bubble. “Let’s end him already.”

“That’s the spirit!” Aquamarine said. “Now come on. Time is still of the essence after all. I think it’s still a couple of hours before the sun comes up, but I don’t want to risk it.”

And with that, the two then spent the next ten minutes going through the various bubbles floating overhead, arguing over which ones to use. Eyeball suggested that they get the Gems that would likely be the biggest when fused, such as one that had the pieces of a Topaz and an Amethyst, but Aquamarine thought they should be going for the smaller ones, such as the one with a Sapphire and a Peridot. Eventually, they decided to use both. One big one and two smalls one. The small ones would get the knives, and the big one was just there for good measure, like Aquamarine mentioned. Aquamarine flew upwards and collected all three bubbles, passing off two to Eyeball. They took one last look at the lava pool and headed towards the Temple door, Aquamarine setting the bubble gently on the floor and whipped out her wand.

“So what happens if there’s just darkness behind there?” Eyeball asked, clutching the bubble nervously. 

“Then we go back up the way we came,” Aquamarine said. “Sure, it’ll be a _lot_ harder with these bubbles, but at least we know for sure that the door up there is the way out. In any case, we’ll just have to release these things, destabilize their forms ourselves, and then quickly climb up before they form again.” She huffed. “No problem.”

“Yeah...no problem.” Eyeball said, who very much did _not_ want to do any of that. Aquamarine ignored her comment and shot the tractor beam at the door again, forcing it open like last time. Eyeball assisted her in pushing it open, and thankfully, much to the relief of them both, they could see the inside of Steven’s house from the crack they made. Eyeball shoved the bubbles through and then herself, and Aquamarine did the same a second later. The exact same formula as last time. Once they were both through the door slammed shut with a resounding echo, and it was over.

“Now then…” Aquamarine whispered, wanting to waste no more time. “I’ll go get the knives. You head up to Steven’s room to make sure he’s there. If he’s not, then get out of here as fast as possible, and don’t wait for me. The mission may have comprised.”

“How?” Eyeball asked. “I’m pretty sure that the fusion wouldn’t have died if it was.”

“Sure, or it could have all been part of her plan,” Aquamarine said. “Who knows. But just be careful.”

“Okay.” Eyeball said, taking one last look at the bubbles. “And if it isn’t, we’ll come back for those and finally…”

“...finish this, yes,” Aquamarine said. “Or, at least, him.”

She then walked off towards the kitchen, her eyes staring at the knife rack the entire time. Eyeball wet her lips and then headed towards the stairs that led to Steven’s room, silently praying that he was there. 

‘Remember what she told you.’ She thought. ‘If he’s not there, get out as fast as possible. Don’t think. Don’t hesitate. Don’t even call out to warn. Just _run.’_

A small part of Eyeball, however, was blatantly saying that she couldn’t do this. Even if Aquamarine had said to leave her behind, she still couldn’t. She’d go back. She’d grab her and _then_ leave as fast as possible. No matter what, Eyeball couldn’t abandon her partner. That would leave her alone, on Earth, at the mercy of the Gems. And that mercy might very well become non-existent, once they learned what happened to Garnet.

Although speaking of Garnet…

There was _one_ thing about her death and the process they took that bothered her. When her Gemstones hit the ground, they made a sort of...metallic sound, like they were made of metal instead of the crystal-like substance that formed most Gems. Granted, Eyeball knew that every Gem was made differently, but she was sure that none of them were made of anything close to _metal_. Aquamarine hadn’t shown any reaction to it, likely because she was too far away to hear it properly, but she couldn’t help but wonder: Did it mean anything? Did a Gem’s composition change if they stayed fused with another Gem for years? 

Eyeball then instinctively knocked on her Gem two times, half-expecting it to make a different sound. Not a metallic one, but just...a different one. But it didn’t. It was the same, hollow, echoing sound that he had been accustomed to her whole life. Nothing had changed. The many days she and Aquamarine had spent fused clearly wasn’t enough to change their Gems.

If, again, that was even a thing.

‘I’ll have to ask her.’ Eyeball thought. ‘If Steven’s there then I'll ask Aquamarine about it when I go back downstairs. I don’t think she knows much more about fusion than me, but who knows. Maybe this is some weird secret that only the Gem elites knew.’

As she finished this thought, Eyeball finished making it up the stairs, and was relieved to see that Steven was indeed in his bed, facing away from her, sleeping soundly. The room itself had seldom changed since the last time she was there, besides the fact that the TV was gone and the glass sliding door that led outside was replaced by a wall, but Eyeball didn’t think twice about these. If anything, he was just going through some modeling changes.

She turned around after this check and headed back down the stairs, where she spotted Aquamarine next to the kitchen counter with several knives splayed out in front of her. No doubt trying to figure out which one would be best for the murder.

“Hey.” Eyeball whispered once she got close. “Can I ask you something?”

“Sure,” Aquamarine said, picking up a rather large steak knife and inspecting it. “What is it?”

“Can a Gem’s composition change if they remained fused for too long?”

Aquamarine paused and then slowly turned towards Eyeball after she said this, subconsciously setting the knife down. “What...what do you mean?”

“I mean...when I poofed Garnet, and her Gemstones hit the ground, it didn’t make the sound I expected it to.” Eyeball explained. “It sounded more like metal hitting stone, like if her Gems were made out of iron or steel or anything like that. So I was thinking that-”

“Wait. Go back.” Aquamarine interjected. “You said when her Gems hit the ground, they sounded like they were made of _metal?”_

“Yeah. Why? Is that bad?” Eyeball asked.

Aquamarine didn’t respond, instead turning away from Eyeball like she didn’t even exist. The blue Gem stayed frozen for a second, her mind fluttering with a thousand thoughts at once, before she gasped and her eyes widened.

“It’s a trap.” She whispered, a look of horror crossing her face.

“What?”

“IT'S A TRAP!” She shrieked, causing Eyeball to flinch. “WE HAVE TO GET OUT OF HERE-”

“NOW!” A sudden voice yelled out, seeming to come from every direction. Eyeball jumped and started looking around for the source, but before she could Aquamarine summoned both her wings in the blink of an eye and grabbed Eyeball from underneath her shoulders. She flew towards the door at what felt like warp speed, only for an alarm to blare out and a giant metal sheet to slide down and cover it entirely. Aquamarine found herself unable to stop and slammed into it, and she comically remained in midair for a few seconds before falling to the ground in slow motion.

Eyeball tried to scramble out from under her, but the second she did she looked up and was greeted with a spear, a cannon attached to a green flying machine, a giant icicle, and a battle axe an inch from her nose, respectively belonging to the Pearl, the Peridot, the Lapis, and the Bismuth. Beyond them Eyeball could see the fusion and the Amethyst, staring at her with an unblinking fury.

For a second, no one moved.

Until Amethyst thrust her whip out and wrapped it around Aquamarine’s bow, before yanking it back and snatching it out of her air. It landed perfectly in her right hand, almost like she was in a cliche action movie. Aquamarine herself didn’t stir, thoroughly knocked out from her impact with the wall.

“Ummmm…” Eyeball started, before sticking her hands up. “I surrender?”

The various Gems in front of her all exchanged glances, before the fusion nodded at Amethyst. With a flick of her wrist, she wrapped her whip around Eyeball’s arms and legs, completely restraining her. And before she even had a chance to protest, the fusion pushed through the crowd, reared her hand back, and knocked Eyeball out with a single punch.

And as darkness came over her vision and she felt herself slump to the ground, Eyeball couldn’t help but shed a single tear, knowing that they had well and truly failed in their mission, and no matter what she woke up to, and she could do was sit and wait.

Wait for the Captain to arrive and release her from this life.

Over the span of a million torturous years.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jeez, this was a long chapter. But a very important one. Their mission has come to a complete stop, and now they’re at the mercy of the same Gems they were trying to kill, who currently have no patience for them at the moment. And the whole thing with Garnet and the “metal” Gemstones will be explained. As well as...a few other things.


	26. Defective

It had all started with a simple prediction. 

Although that “simple prediction” had been preceded by much, much more.

The day had started off as a bright one. Literally. The sun was shining in through every window in the Beach House, and there wasn’t a cloud in the sky. Steven’s groans from upstairs due to him being woken up by the beams flashing directly into his eyes was audible throughout the whole house, and like a switch had been flipped, the rest of the house began waking up as well. 

Amethyst came out of her room first, grabbed an entire box of cereal, and then left while eating it, cardboard and all. Pearl had come out of her room a few minutes later, humming a little tune as she went to wake Steven up. The look on her face as she came back down the stairs indicated that he had taken exception to this, and she left for Little Homeworld with the warp pad soon after, going to an early-morning sword-fighting class. (With fakes swords of course.) Steven himself was up a half-hour later, looking like a zombie that had crawled out of the grave. He made himself some pancakes and then went back up to his room without saying a word, which had become the norm recently.

And then there was Garnet.

She had stayed in her “room” (the burning room) for the entire night, thinking to herself. Mostly about Steven, but also about the entity or person he encountered during his mental outburst at Little Homeworld. Mirror. If that even was their real name. Garnet had been kicking herself for weeks on end for not “seeing” Mirror’s arrival earlier, and also wondering how her future vision could have missed such an impactful event. 

So every day she had been doing “exercises”, as she called them, with her future vision. Last night. A simple exercise. Looking five minutes into Steven’s future.

She was unable to.

The fusion frowned upon seeing only darkness on the boy’s horizon, and decided to try something else. Look five minutes into Pearl’s future. And this time, her mind exploded with images of Pearl in her room. The most possibilities were her either rearranging her swords, crying to herself, or watching memories of her and Rose with her Gem. She had been doing those three things quite a lot lately, and Garnet was sure that they were connected in some way. But now she had confirmed that she could see Pearl, but not Steven.

Proof: Inconclusive. She needed to conduct more tests. More exercises. Garnet needed to be absolutely sure that this was what was happening before she came to any conclusions.

Next: Look five minutes into Amethyst’s future. She adjusted her visors and attempted to do just that, before images of Amethyst sprung up just like Pearl. She could either be eating garbage, crying to herself, or sneaking around the Temple, going to rooms she was not supposed to visit by herself. Garnet then turned around and saw the purple Gem peeking in from the pool connected to her room near the ceiling, and once she noticed she had been spotted Amethyst dove out of sight, retreating to whence she came. So, now she had confirmed that could see both Pearl _and_ Amethyst.

Results: Still inconclusive. While this would usually be more than enough to confirm her theory, Garnet recalled how human scientists usually conducted the same tests _hundreds_ of times to make sure that a single fact was correct. She was going to follow their example. She had to be sure that she wasn’t wrong.

Also because she didn’t particularly _like_ what the results meant as of now.

And so she went on. Lapis. Peridot. Bismuth. Connie. Greg. Lars. Sadie. Little Larimar. Biggs. The Diamonds. Spinel. Heck, even former Mayor Dewey. All the way down the line, checking the outcomes of the next five minutes for almost every person she ever met. And the results were always the same. She could see their future. Sometimes it was blurry if she didn’t know them too well. Sometimes it was astonishingly clear if she had spent hundreds of years hanging around them. But no matter what, she could see it, in one way or another.

But then she went back to Steven. By this time, she had spent the whole day in the burning room. It was already dark out, and Steven had presumably gone to bed. But Garnet was unaware of this at the moment. It was time for the final exercise. Five minutes into his future. _Again._

She was unable to.

And then Garnet grit her teeth, and in a flash of light, her two components separated, with Sapphire landing gently on her feet, while Ruby landed flat on the floor. She was up in an instant and started pacing around a second later, her feet leaving scorch marks in the stone.

“ _Why_ is this happening?!” She screeched, yelling out like she was mad at the entire universe. “Why can’t we see Steven’s future?!”

“Calm down, Ruby. Please.” Sapphire said. “Getting angry about this solves nothing. We have to remain calm. We can’t...freak out.”

“We _have_ been calm!” Ruby pointed out. “Throughout that entire test of ours, looking through all those futures, we remained as still as a statue despite knowing how bad it was getting with each person we passed! We didn’t need to go through hundreds of people, Sapphire! Four or five would have been proof enough of this... _problem!”_

“Yes. But we did anyway.” Sapphire said. “And I must admit that it is partially my fault. But I wanted to be sure. See if this was a completely isolated problem or if there were multiple humans or Gems involved.” She sighed. “I suppose we have our answer.”

“Yeah, and the answer is that everything is horrible!” Ruby wailed, falling to her knees. “We saw their darkness all those weeks ago. We looked into Steven’s future and saw nothing! But we still didn’t act until it was too late! And Garnet...when we heard that explosion, we hardly even reacted! She just calmly got up and went to go help with the inevitable cleanup! Neither of us were in direct control there, or at least _I_ wasn’t. What happened there?” She asked. “Why did Garnet react like that?”

“I…am not sure,” Sapphire said. “I did not see the explosion as a possible future, therefore _she_ shouldn’t have been able to either. I’m sorry. I just don’t know what happened.”

Ruby stared at Sapphire for a second, hoping to see some change in the vacant expression that she was giving off, but after finding none she groaned and turned away, clutching the sides of her head.

“What do we do…” She groaned, sounding so distressed that it took every bit of Sapphire’s willpower to not dash over there and hug her as tightly as she could. “Mirror probably has us exactly where they want us. Steven’s not showing any signs of getting better besides acting even _more_ morose than usual. Pearl spends every night crying in her room, Amethyst is stress-eating so much that we have to refill the fridge constantly just so Steven can have three meals a day, and _we…”_ She whined and grit her teeth. “This is the fifth time we’ve split apart since that day. And now since our fusion vision can’t see anything related to Steven, he could be in danger at _any_ moment and we wouldn’t-”

Ruby stopped abruptly when she felt a hand on her shoulder, and she turned around to see Sapphire there, brushing her hair out of her face and staring at her with her one giant eye, filled to the brim with tears. She didn’t even have to say anything to convey what she was thinking. Ruby knew just from her expression, and acted accordingly.

“I’m sorry.” She whimpered. “I’m just worried, Sapphy. I’m so scared. We’re dealing with an enemy that could take over our minds at any moment. Peridot hasn’t given us an update on that machine she’s been building ever since she started it, so that just leaves us dealing with it alone and praying that Mirror doesn’t launch another attack. If they take over at Steven again and make him scream while he’s inside the house…even with the precautions we set up...”

“I know.” Sapphire, before hugging Ruby from behind. “I know, Ruby. But we have to remain strong for him. For all of them. They look up to us, after all. If the others saw us like this, then they might begin to lose hope. We can’t let that happen. We have to be strong. We have to be Garnet.”

“But what if one day that’s not enough?” Ruby asked, turning around to face her, their faces only a few inches apart. “What if one day we have to face something that even _Garnet_ can’t handle?”

“Oh, Ruby…” Sapphire said, wiping some of her partner’s tears away with her hand before smiling at her. “Even if Garnet isn’t enough, we’ll still have the others. We’ll stand tall with all of them. And whoever attacks us next, whether it be Mirror, Bluebird, or even another giant cactus monster...we’ll get through it, and win like we always have. Because who are we?”

“...Garnet?”

“And…?”

“The Crystal Gems,” Ruby said softly.

“That’s right,” Sapphire said, before taking Ruby’s hands in her. “Now fuse with me so we can-”

Before Sapphire could say anything else, Ruby enveloped her in a tight and sudden hug. The shock only lasted a moment before she returned it, and a second later a bright glow cast shadows across the burning room, and when it faded Garnet was back, her expression as stone-esque and blank as ever. She turned and headed towards the Temple door, and it automatically opened when she approached it. She exited and walked towards the warp pad…

...only for it to activate one step before she reached, signaling someone’s return. Garnet peered ahead to see who had arrived, only to see darkness. But as she sighed and prepared herself to scold Steven for leaving the house without permission, or, more specifically, leaving the house _at all_ , the beam of light vanished and revealed someone who was the very opposite of who she had expected.

Jasper. 

Panting like she was out of breath, and with an expression that read pure and unadulterated fury. If Garnet has a heart, she was sure it’d be beating twice as fast now. Although she wasn’t scared of the Quartz, whatever reason she came here for couldn’t be good. Jasper never even visited Little Homeworld, so for her to actively seek out a warp pad and personally come to the Temple…

Well, something was definitely wrong. 

She then turned around and frowned upon seeing Garnet there, clearly hoping for someone else. The fusion stayed where she was, even as Jasper stepped off the pad and approached, but remained ready to summon her gauntlets and go on the offensive/defensive if she decided to attack.

However, what she said next broke every one of Garnet’s expectations, and fully explained why she hadn’t seen her warping to the Temple. Because this was something she thought she’d _never_ hear out of Jasper’s mouth.

“I need your help.”

After these words left her mouth, Garnet found herself standing in silent shock, before her components reminded her of how perilous the situation must be and snapped herself out of it. However, even with them frantically taking over, the best they could manage after _that_ was _this:_

“...What?”

“I _need your help,”_ Jasper repeated, before sighing. “Well, actually, I suppose you’re really more in need of mine, but regardless, there’s something I need to tell you, and I’m not sure how much time we have. I know we aren’t friends, I know we hate each other, I know _I_ sure do, but if you don’t hear me out, then Steven and every one of your pathetic friends and components could die. Got it?”

“...”

“...”

“...Alright,” Garnet said. “What is it?”

“An attack was just attempted on me,” Jasper said quickly, clearly not wasting any time. “Out in the woods, by an Aquamarine and a Ruby with one eye who was rather fond of idolizing me. Sound familiar?”

“...Bluebird,” Garnet said, feeling her fists clenched up involuntarily. “Yes. We are familiar with them. You’re saying they attacked you?”

“ _Tried_ to,” Jasper said. “All I did was jump in front of them and that sent them running away, screaming in fear like a pair of cowards.”

“Then how did you know-”

“Because I heard them talking about it beforehand,” Jasper said. “I was spying on them for almost twenty minutes as they made their way through my forest, and I heard several...interesting things. Things about “targets” and someone named “the Captain”.

“Mirror,” Garnet growled.

“What?”

“Their name is Mirror.” She said. “Their “Captain”. They’re the one responsible for the destruction of the majority of Little Homeworld and Steven’s outburst a while ago.” She sighed. “Although I suppose you wouldn’t know anything about that.”

“Oh, is that what that was?” Jasper asked. “I definitely heard the screams, and felt the shockwave, but I didn’t bother checking. I had a _feeling_ it was Steven, but I wasn’t entirely sure until-”

“I think we should hurry this along, if it’s important enough that you’d come to us for help,” Garnet said. “What else did you hear them talk about?”

Jasper looked briefly flustered at being interrupted, but did nothing but scowl at the fusion before continuing. “They’re coming for all of you now.” She said. “I didn’t hear them say “we’re going to kill Steven” directly, but it doesn’t take a genius to figure out who they’d be after. They did say targets after all. They’re going after multiple people, and I’m sure that after they failed to kill me, they’ll just start going down the list.”

“...”

“...”

“...”

“...Well?!” Jasper said expectantly. “Don’t just stand there and say nothing! If you want to save his life and likely your own, then I recommend you-”

“Why?” Garnet asked.

“What?!”

“Why.” She repeated, adjusting her visors. “Why are you helping us like this? You’ve never been our friend or even anything close to an acquaintance. You hate Amethyst for being a “runt”, Pearl for being “defective”, and me for reasons that you’ve expressed more times than I can count. And Steven...I’m sure you hate him most of all. From what I’ve heard, you refuse his offers to come live in Little Homeworld every time he asks, and then chase him off. And that’s not even going into the fighting sessions you have with him.”

“You know about those?” Jasper growled, her gaze turning dark.

“We know everything,” Garnet said. “He didn’t hold back when we asked him-”

“Ordered, probably.”

“ _Asked_ him to tell us about them,” Garnet said, now slightly peeved. “And while I believe it when I say that those sessions are a way to relieve stress, I think _you’re_ doing it for a very different reason. You told him that you did it because you wanted a good fight, but in actuality, I’m sure you only did it so that _one_ day you could take revenge and kill him, then place the blame on him for agreeing to a fight in the first place.”

“Are you insane?!” Jasper scoffed, clenching her fists up. “I’m not that stupid. Sure, maybe deep down I want to hurt him for what he did to me and the Diamonds. But I’m not delusional enough to think that I can get away with killing him. No matter what excuse I’d have, you lot would show up and shatter me on the spot for taking him away from you. And that’s not even going into what the _Authority_ might do to me.”

“Odd,” Garnet said. “Because from the sounds of it, that’s not the same attitude you had when you fought him and Connie.”

“Connie? Who’s Con-” Jasper started, before her mind drifted back to _that_ day, and the human that Steven had brought along with him like some kind of pet. “Oh. _Her_. Steven’s little pet human that fought alongside him.” She huffed. “I wasn’t trying to kill Steven then. Only this “Connie”. I figured the Diamonds wouldn’t care about one measly organic.”

“Trust me, he’d make them care, if he didn’t shatter you himself afterward,” Garnet said. “But I’m still not sure if I believe that or not. Or any of those to be honest. I looked into your future a while ago, as well as Aquamarines and Eyeballs. I didn’t see them attacking you, or anything of the sort. And while it _could_ be because something is wrong with my vision...I think you lying is the more likely possibility here. I have no reason to trust you, and I’m not going to start now.”

“RRRRRRR…” Jasper growled, baring her teeth. “YOU-”

“Unless…” Garnet said. “You answer my question from a minute ago. Why you’re doing this. If you give me an answer that I can believe, then I might be willing to take you seriously and not believe you’re really here to try and kill Steven or anyone else.”

“...Fine,” Jasper said. “I’m here because I don’t want all that potential to go to waste.”

“Potential?”

“Steven....” The Quartz began explained. “I might have permanently called off our fighting sessions, but I’ll admit, I would still enjoy another rematch with him. That pink power he had is unlike anything I’ve faced before. It’s exhilarating, meeting someone that can finally stand up to me.”

“I stood up to you,” Garnet said, the Ruby part of her coming out. “And Lapis. And Smokey. And Stevonnie. _Twice_. And-”

“Those don’t count!” Jasper said. “The fusions don’t count. I’m talking about _one_ opponent here, not a cheap move! And as for Lapis...I wasn’t attacking her. So that doesn’t count either.”

“...Okay,” Garnet said, not having any inclination to devolve this into a full-blown argument.

Jasper glared at Garnet furiously before shaking her head, knowing that there were still more important things to take care of than personal vendettas. “Doesn’t matter. Like I was saying, he has potential. He has the Gemstone of a Diamond. He could be so much stronger, but he always refuses to let go and unleash his full strength. It’s disgusting and cowardly. He says he’s afraid of hurting me. And I say do it anyways! Attack me with everything you have! Don’t hold back! But he always does! And even when he thinks he’s hurt me, he runs over and apologizes. Each. And every. Time. It’s pathetic.”

“Are you going to get to the point?” Garnet asked. “If you really are short on time, then I-”

“This _is_ the point!” Jasper said. “He has more potential than he could ever know. It’s there. I’ve seen and felt glimpses of it. But he refuses to acknowledge its existence. But one day, I will personally make sure that he does. That he stops being such a cowardly little human and embraces his Gem side! And he can’t do that if he’s dead! So there!” She crossed her arms and huffed. “That’s why.”

“So...you don’t want Steven to die because you want him to get strong so you can get a proper fight?” Garnet guessed, hoping she was understanding all this correctly.

“Exactly.”

“...”

“...”

“Okay. I believe it. Warning us of all this just so you can fight someone fits your track record.” Garnet said, shrugging. “And I’m guessing that you don’t care about any of us, just him?”

“What do you think?.” Jasper asked rhetorically. “Heck, I might even _want_ you to be shattered at their hand. Might help him stop being so human. Show him that he needs to unleash his power to protect people.”

“Don’t get any ideas.” Garnet warmed wearily. “If you attempt-”

“I won’t.” 

“Hm. Fine. But one last thing before I call everyone so we can figure out how we’re going to do this.”

“What is it?”

“Why didn’t you just try to go to Steven first?”

Jasper let out a sigh, almost in a disappointed manner.  
“I figured that if I showed up next to him out of nowhere, he might attack me without listening first. Ironically, this is the one time I _don’t_ want to fight him. But then I thought of you, and how you seemed to be the quiet and rational one of that mess you call a team, so after some very loud retches, I chose to find you.”

“I’m not sure if I should be flattered or insulted by that,” Garnet said, before cracking her knuckles. “But I do thank you for telling us this information. I still can’t see Ruby or Aquamarine doing anything you described with my future vision, but against my better judgment, I’ll take your word for it.”

“Good,” Jasper said. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to leave.”

“You’re leaving? Why?” Garnet asked. “I thought you would want to participate in the capture of those two because of what they attempted to do back at-”

“Normally I might, but I know that soon you’re going to gather the rest of your defective friends here as backup,” Jasper said. “And I’m not sticking around for that. The last thing I want to see is all of you together. Seeing _you_ was painful enough. Frankly, I’m still shocked with myself that I did it.”

“As am I,” Garnet said. “Then go. But again, I appreciate the help, unorthodox as it may be. If we do manage to catch them, I’ll send someone to inform you.”

“Don’t bother,” Jasper said. “As long as they don’t come back, that’s good enough for me.”

Garnet opened her mouth to say something else, a question about how several hikers were disappearing in the woods and if that was her fault, but before she could the warp pad activated again and Jasper vanished in a flash of light. It faded away a second later, leaving Garnet standing alone.

“Is she gone?” A faint voice from the stairs asked, sounding almost like the voice of a six-year-old. Garnet glanced towards it and saw Steven peeking out from the top floor, a worried expression on his face that made him look like he thought the apocalypse was upon them. 

“Yes,” Garnet said bluntly, walking over the pad and towards the stairs. “Did you hear all of that?”

“...Every word,” Steven said, stepping out fully and revealing his pajamas, which were drenched with sweat. No doubt brought on by the anxious attitude he was taking on. Garnet stopped for a second, taken heavily aback by this, but tried not to react lest she worry Steven even more. “Sorry if you didn’t want me listening in, but I hear everything that goes on in the house now, so it was really hard for me to ignore-”

“No, it’s okay,” Garnet said, before sitting down on the couch. She patted the cushion next to her, causing Steven to perk up. He paused before jumping over the banister and landing a few feet from her, and he sighed before flopping into his back and letting his head hang over the edge.

“So Aquamarine and Eyeball are trying to kill me again?” He asked.

“It would seem that way.”

“And they already attacked Jasper?”

“Yes, if she’s to be fully believed.”

Steven frowned and then sat up somewhat, twiddling his thumbs and slowly gritting his teeth. “She mentioned a list of targets…” He mumbled. “And Mirror giving them that list of targets. Which means that they’re behind all this.” He gulped and sighed. “They’re finally making another move…”

Garnet winced. This was true, which made capturing Aquamarine and Eyeball doubly important. She casually stood up and cricked her neck. They had no time to waste. Those two were likely already on their way, and if they weren’t properly prepared, then things could end...badly. For both sides. They had to prepare. First things first, get Steven somewhere safe. Then call Pearl, Amethyst, Lapis, and Bismuth over. 

“We’re leaving.”

“Leaving?” Steven said. “Like, the Beach house?

“Yes.”

The boy’s eyes seemed to literally light up with stars as Garnet said this, and she could practically feel the excitement radiating off him. After that one word, it was like nothing could ruin his mood. But before he could start crying tears of joy, Garnet said something else that ruined his mood.

“But just for the night.” She iterated. “We can’t risk you leaving for any longer than that. If those two are working for Mirror, then _they_ might try to take over your mind again while you’re gone. We’ll be taking you to the bunker until this is all over.”

And just like that, Steven’s face dropped his smile, turning upside down so fast that Garnet didn’t even see the movement. For a second she thought he was about to start crying, but instead, he crossed his arms and made a pouting noise.

“This is so unfair.” He mumbled.

“I know,” Garnet said. “But you also know why we have to-”

“Yes, because Mirror might be able to take over at any second and cause even more destruction, I _know._ ” He mumbled. “But...this is getting to be too much for me. It’s been weeks. When... _if_ we ever find them and stop all this, I’m going to have to get used to actually seeing the outside world again. I've been staring at these four walls every second of every day, and I think if I don’t see something different as well as familiar soon, then I might just scream out of pure frustration. I...I’m scared. Of being forced to stay in here forever as nothing more than a prisoner.”

Garnet paused before putting her hand on his shoulder, and he looked up at her with small tears in his eyes. 

“I’m sorry.” She said. “There’s no way that we can condone what we’re doing to you. You’re right. You are a prisoner here. We’ve taken every precaution necessary to make sure that nothing bad can happen to you in case you have another outburst, no matter how it affects you. But Steven…” She took off her visors and stared at him. “...We still love you. We’re still doing this for you. Nothing will ever change that, and-”

“Then why does that feel like a lie?” Steven asked, taking Garnet aback. “I’m sorry for talking back like this, but it’s getting harder and harder to believe that. Every day when you wake me up, whether it’s you, Pearl, or Amethyst, I see how you look at me. You’re afraid. You’re afraid that I might scream and hurt you. And I get that, considering that I almost shattered Bismuth and hurt Connie as well as a bunch of other people...but it still hurts me. The way you look at me. It almost makes me feel like I’m some kind of wild animal that you’re tending to in a zoo exhibit, and you’re just waiting for the moment where I go feral.”

“Steven…” Garnet started, honestly having no idea what to say to this. “I-”

“No.” He said, putting up a hand. “It doesn’t matter right now. Bluebird’s coming for me, right? We shouldn’t be wasting any more time than we already have. Protecting me and others from me comes first. My personal feelings come second.”

Garnet wanted to say, “no, that’s not how this works, that’s not how we _ever_ wanted it to work,” but despite this, she couldn’t help but silently admit that he was right in two regards. They had already wasted enough time talking, and Bluebird was likely on the move.

So without saying another word, despite how painful it was to do so, she embraced Steven in another hug, and lifted him off the ground before carrying him over to the warp pad. If Steven had any protests to this, he didn’t show it, and the two of them got deja-vu of all the times this had happened when he was younger, and when things weren’t as...difficult.

And Garnet wanted to say something. She really did. She wanted to sit him right down and talk all night about how what he said was wrong, about how he shouldn’t feel that way about himself or them, and that even if they never found Mirror, the Gems would _never_ let this be a permanent situation for him.

But she didn’t.

Because for the last time, time was no longer their ally. The enemy was approaching, and their base was currently undefended. 

And unfortunately, those things took precedence, just like Steven had said.

***

And...that’s about it.

Once Garnet warped to Little Homeworld, she took Steven to the bunker and then gathered the five Gems she had planned on calling. It took approximately two minutes to explain the entire situation, and the look on Garnet’s face told them that there would be no arguing, no questions, nothing until Bluebird was captured or if they discovered that Jasper had lied for whatever reason. So they did just that. They went back to the house, planted a fake Steven in the bed, turned off the lights, and waited one minute before Aquamarine and Ruby arrived and entered.

They were about to strike right then and there, but then Garnet foresaw something. Rather than Steven, they would be going after _her_ first. Visible to everyone hiding in the dark, she gave the signal to hold off from attacking and waited until the two had broken into the Temple. After the initial commotion from the others, mostly asking why she had allowed them to pass, Garnet explained her plan.

She wanted to see something. With these two, her future vision only allowed her to see as far as the fact that they were going after her first. But that was it. So Garnet wanted to see, once and for all, if their minds could be changed. If _they_ could change. Like Peridot and the Diamonds and Spinel. Sure, they had attacked them before and ignored any attempts to be reformed, but so had everyone she just listed, and _they_ reformed. (For the most part.) So she wanted to try one more time. Try one more attempt at _Steven’s_ way.

And well, how could they refuse that?

So acting as fast as she could, Pearl warped to Little Homeworld and went straight for Peridot. She explained Garnet’s plan, to use a fake version of her that would enter the burning room (the room that the fusion predicted would be the most likely one where Aquamarine and Eyeball would end up) to see what they would do. Coldly assassinate her, or try and talk it out. Beg for forgiveness now that they were right in front of an enemy that would listen to them and not just attack immediately, like...Jasper, for instance.

And it only took Peridot five minutes to whip up a pair of metal objects that looked like Garnet’s Gems. Perfectly identical in every way, apart from the building material. But they were also projectors, capable of creating a physical form out of themselves that was nothing but a robot meant to follow commands. She could simply program the direction into the Gems, which would then spread to the Garnet-bot, and they would be all set. Pearl thanked Peridot, took the Gems, quickly fished a bubble with a fusion monster out of the burning room, placed the projectors on the ground as instructed, and everyone hid again.

And after all those extremely repetitive actions were complete, the Gems “formed” and took the bubble. The real Garnet opened the room for it when she sensed that Aquamarine and Eyeball were inside, and it entered.

But again, things didn't go as she had hoped. The projectors were burned in the lava, and they went after Steven next. Without saying a word, Garnet informed the others to not hold back when they exited the Temple, and they did just that. The second Aquamarine realized they had been duped, she gave another signal and Amethyst activated the lockdown. And the rest…

Well, long story short, they were both trapped, and with a great feeling of disappointment, Garnet nailed Eyeball directly in the right eye with her fist, and she was poofed almost instantaneously, a cloud of red smoke enveloping them all.

The Gem hit the ground with a _clink_ , and everyone who was still hiding as backup came out into the open.

“...”

“...”

“...”

“...Dang,” Amethyst said, unsummoning her whip. “I was kinda hoping for more of a fight.”

“You were hoping for _more_ of one?” Bismuth asked, sounding like she hadn’t just heard her correctly. “What, did you want this to drag on? Let us give them a chance? We took a big enough risk getting those projectors and letting them loose in the Temple. Taking another would put far too much at stake.”

“No, nothing like that,” Amethyst replied. “It’s just after all that we did to capture them, running around and hiding and planning, I’m surprised that it was over so quickly.”

“Well, that’s what you get when you make a _good_ plan,” Lapis interjected, before pulling a few gallons of water from the sink. “Should I restrain the other one, or should we poof her like the Ruby?”

“Restrain her. If we poof both of them now, it might be days before either of them reform.” Pearl said, and Lapis nodded before curling the water around the blue Gem several times and then freezing it. Bismuth then walked over and picked up both Gems, before turning around.

“I’m heading back to Little Homeworld.” She said, walking over towards the warp pad. “Both to drop these two off and bring Steven back here. I’d recommend you go check out the Temple. See if they did anything that might come back to bite us later.”

“They didn’t,” Garnet said confidently. “The burning room was the only _real_ room they visited, and the only real thing we have to fix with it is returning _these_ to these proper places.” She then pointed down at the three bubbles containing the fusion monster Gems, which had gone unnoticed by almost everyone else. “And by the way, Steven requested that when you get him, you bring him back here and put him in bed.”

“Uhh...okay. I’ll remember to do that.” Bismuth said. “I’ll see you all in a bit, then.” And with that, she stepped onto the pad and vanished, leaving the four Gems by themselves. Which would soon become three, as Lapis was the next to sigh as she headed towards the door, summoned her wings, and flung it open.

“I’m leaving as well.” She announced. “And I’m flying back. I think...I need to clear my head after all this.”

“Wish I could do the same…” Amethyst mumbled, before waving at her. “Alright. Bye, Lapis.”

Lapis nodded at her and then flew off into the night, the door slamming shut behind her. Pearl watched her fly off before sitting down in a chair, resting one of her elaborate on the table and partially facepalming.

“I hope Steven won’t be too disappointed when he hears about this.” She lamented. “If those two are truly working on orders from Mirror, then we won’t be able to release them until we catch them. Which might take a while. A _very_ long while.”

“Yeah…” Amethyst said, crossing her arms and leaning against the wall. “But even then, should we? I mean, Garnet, you told us that they burned the fake Gems. When it came right down to it, they clearly had no problem with shattering you.”

“Neither did most of our enemies,” Garnet said. “And by most, I mean all.”

“I know, but...I just feel like this is different, you know?” Amethyst. “It’s not the same. It feels wrong.”

“I think it’s because if that _had_ been Garnet, they might have succeeded.” Pearl chimed in. “If Jasper hadn’t alerted us of their plan, then it's very possible that we all might be a pile of shards right now. Garnet wouldn’t be able to see them with her future vision, and Aquamarine’s wand would easily restrain us. We’d be left helpless against them.”

Amethyst winced at this remark, clearly unnerved by its implication. She then gulped, walked over to the fridge, opened it, took out at least three whole plates worth of food, and then moved towards the Temple door.

“I’m turning in for the night.” She said, as the door opened and revealed her room, which seemed to be even more of a mess than usual. “And I think I’m going to stay in here for most of the day tomorrow. I’d appreciate it...if nobody bothered me.”

“Understood,” Garnet said, who didn’t even have to ask why. “Enjoy your meal.”

Amethyst didn’t say anything in response, only frowning and then walking into the Temple. The door closed behind her, leaving only Pearl and Garnet, alone in the dark.

“We need to do something about her stress-eating,” Pearl said, shaking her head. “Steven’s been complaining that he can hardly get anything to eat with her constantly emptying the fridge, and he’s definitely telling the truth. He’s been looking a lot thinner as of late. If this goes on, we may have to ban Amethyst from eating anything. Or, at the very least, give Steven his own fridge that only he’s allowed to use.”

“That’s not a bad idea,” Garnet said. “Although I have no doubt that Amethyst would steal from it. But I think we shouldn’t try to stop this. We’re all coping in our own ways since the blast, and this is hers. Remember when Rose gave birth to Steven? She ate quite a lot during the next few weeks if I imagine. We had to force her to stay in the Temple because the police were looking for a “small purple female” who was stealing from grocery stores on the daily.”

“Yes, but her eating habits back then were _nothing_ compared to now,” Pearl said, before burying her head in her hands. “As if we don’t have enough to worry about with Steven, now we have to keep an eye out with Amethyst as well. I’m not sure if she can’t actually hurt herself by overeating, but if she can then it’s bound to happen soon.”

“Funny you should say that.” Garnet quipped. “Considering that I’ve been worrying about _you_ as well.”

“Me? Why?” Pearl asked.

“Because sometimes you spend all day in your room.” Garnet pointed out. “And that’s not like you. At least, not anymore.” She sighed. “I don’t know _exactly_ what you’re doing in there at all times, Pearl, but I know it’s not good. I can see images of you with my future vision. And each time I try too, it’s always three possibilities. Do you want to know what they are?”

“...No,” Pearl said softly. “I already know what you’re talking about.”

“Then you know it’s not good for you,” Garnet said. “Like Amethyst with her eating habits. Doing the same three things over and over again a hundred times every hour is...unhealthy. Rearranging your swords is fine, but it’s not when they’re already perfectly arranged. That just creates stress and anxiety, as well as a sense of perfectionism. You’ll be trying to fix how they look for hours on end, but all you’ll be accomplishing is driving yourself crazy.”

“That’s an exaggeration.” Pearl contested. “Yes, I like to rearrange my swords a lot. Yes, I am a bit of a perfectionist about it. But I’m not going to drive myself crazy over something like that-”

“Last Wednesday you spent three hours polishing the blade and hilt of one,” Garnet said, lowering her head. “And the look on your face was one that I’m sure would land you in a mental hospital if you went outside. If that’s not a perfect example of “crazy” Pearl, then I don’t know what is.”

“...Okay,” Pearl mumbled, admitting defeat. “Maybe I _do_ have a bit of a problem. I’ll try to stop it. Perhaps I should start cleaning the house more to distract myself. With me spending all day in my room and Steven being too...moody to dust or wipe the floors, I think I could-”

“We’re not done,” Garnet said. “Three things after all. And the swords are the least concerning. Watching all those memories of Rose for literal days without stopping...I haven’t seen you like that since she disappeared.”

“I…” Pearl stuttered. “I just wanted to take my mind off-”

“It won’t work,” Garnet said. “It’ll only make you more miserable. Whenever you do that, it’s only at a moment where you miss her. Where-”

“I _always_ miss her!” Pearl interjected. “Every second of every day. I miss her smile, the way we danced while fusing, how strong she was, and how she protected the Earth...I’ve never stopped wishing to get those back. But Steven’s here now, her son, a person that’s just as important and who I might miss even _more_ if he was taken away…” She choked back a sob as she suddenly slammed both her fists into the table. “And I can't bear to think about that. Steven said Mirror wants him dead. And that makes sense, most of the Gems we’ve interacted with in the past have wanted that same thing. But at least we _knew_ what to expect, in a way. They were still Gems. With better technology and sometimes superior strength, yes, but we knew how to fight them! How to win!”

Pearl then stood up and turned toward the counter, kneeling over and clutching it’s edges so tightly that small cracks started to appear. “But not this time.” She whimpered, her knees buckling under her. “This is an enemy we don’t know how to fight. How to prepare against. We called the Diamonds and explained the situation. They said they’d send out search parties for Mirror. Weeks later, we still haven’t gotten any news back from them. Not a word. Which either means they haven’t done anything about it, or-”

“They’ve been “doing things about it”.” Garnet reassured her. “Trust me, after hearing what Mirror forced Steven to do, my predictions have shown me that they’ve been working round the clock to track them down. They’ve already covered hundreds of galaxies. This is a search effort shared by basically every Gem in the universe except for the ones on Earth.” She sighed. “At my request of course. The ones living here...I don’t think they need any mention of _them_ for a while.”

“Then that makes things worse,” Pearl said. “If billions of Gem across the universe haven’t found them after weeks, will we _ever?_ There’s only so much territory that was under the control of the Authority. And most of the universe...was not in that territory. And that’s almost _certainly_ where Mirror resides.”

“You’re right about that,” Garnet said. “But still, we should appreciate their efforts. Like I told you, round the clock. Every second of every day they’ve been warping from planet to planet, moon to moon, every single solitary asteroid. The Diamonds don’t want anything excluded.”

Pearl grit her teeth lightly after this, and for a second Garnet thought that she was going to come up with another counter-argument. But thankfully, she seemed to accept Garnet’s viewpoint and sat back down at the table, running her left hand over her forehead.

“Alright.” She said. “I...you’re right, of course. But I’m just worried. We don’t know where Mirror is or what they’re fully capable of. They could be at our doorstep and we wouldn’t even know it. We’re at a disadvantage here. No matter what steps we take, no matter how we protect Steven, we’ll always be at a disadvantage, even _if_ we manage to find them.”

“Pearl, we’ve always been at a disadvantage.” Garnet pointed out. “During the Gem war. Fighting the corrupted Gems. Facing down Jasper and Peridot. Going against the Diamonds and then Spinel. We’ve rarely had the high ground in those situations. And yet, we’ve always pulled through.”

“I think we had this conversation already.” Pearl groaned.

“Then we shouldn’t have to have it again. It’s the plain truth. I just hope that _you_ can see it soon, by yourself.” Garnet said. “Now...I think I’m going to go to Little Homeworld. Find out what I can from our newly acquired prisoners.”

“Really?” Pearl asked. “You’re not going to criticize me over crying in my room? We only got through two of the three after all…”

“Do you _want_ me to?” Garnet asked, who in truth did want to talk to Pearl about the third thing but saw just now that the best outcome came from her leaving as soon as possible.

“...No.” 

“Then I’m not going to,” Garnet said, before frowning again. “And, Pearl, I recommend that when Bismuth gets back, you request that she stay with you for the rest of the night. She’ll help you get through the rest of the night. And anytime you get an urge to go to your room and start crying or messing with your swords, just ask her for some advice. It...it will help.”

“Are you sure about that?” Pearl asked. 

“Yes,” Garnet said, before walking over to the warp pad. “Goodbye, Pearl. And please take into consideration what I said.”

“I will. I promise.” Pearl said.

“Good,” Garnet replied, and with that she warped away, leaving Pearl alone in the house. She trembled a little and started to cry, before wiping her eyes and huffing. She speed-walked over to her room and entered it, and once the door closed, the house was greeted with a silence that it hadn't had in weeks.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was pretty much a big backstory chapter, as well as a teaser one for the event to follow. I hope the explanation of how Garnet survived made enough sense, as well as everything else.
> 
> And if anyone is wondering how Jasper made it to the Temple before Bluebird and Aquamarine, she used the warp pad from Little Homeworld. Literally hulk-jumped through the first to get there. And as for why it took those two so long to arrive...they might have spent a little longer in town than the previous chapter implied.
> 
> But, until next time.


	27. Hidden

Steven wasn’t sure what to think. 

For the first time in forever, he was finally leaving the Beach house. Little Homeworld was his destination, a place he felt he hadn’t seen in years. His excitement was so heavy that he was almost shaking, and although he tried to put on his usual bored and uninterested expression, he couldn’t hide it. He was too jittery. Too wound up. The only time he had been allowed outside in a few weeks was a supervised visit to the _front_ porch, supervised being the important word here. Amethyst had been forced to keep an eye on him the whole time, and all Steven was allowed to do was look at the waves in the distance. This went on for about an hour until he was satisfied (had to go to the bathroom) and the two went back inside, where Amethyst immediately took an armful of food out of the fridge and then fled.

But even if all he had gotten to do was stand and watch, it still made Steven happier than he had been ever since his confinement... _involuntary stay at home order_ started.

So obviously, a chance to visit Little Homeworld was a fantastic idea. He and Garnet had stepped onto the warp pad, and Steven got an intense feeling of deja-vu as the familiar sound of it activating rang out and the two were warped away. The ground vanished beneath his feet, and he almost cried as all the memories of the past came back to him. Unfortunately, the ride was over rather quickly, thanks to Peridot fixing the warp pad ten-times-as-long problem weeks ago (which was revealed to be interference from the nearby microwave radio towers she had recently built, which were promptly shut down), so his precious nostalgia died with the warp.

But once there, he gasped and regretted ever coming.

Even though it had been weeks, Little Homeworld was in a sorry state. The destruction from Steven’s outburst was still plain to see everywhere he looked, from large dents in metal structures to empty windows where lanes of glass once stood. And to his left, if he squinted his eye, he could see the crater he left behind, as well as a few large machines nearby scooping dirt into it. There were no buildings around it, and there was also...a noticeable lack of any other Gems, like they had all vacated the place once they realized he had arrived.

But as horrified as Steven was, this didn’t make any sense. With Bismuth in charge, the mess he left should have been cleaned with everything repaired in no more than a week, with the crater itself filled up in a matter of hours. It was big, but not _that_ big.

“We’re here.” Garnet suddenly announced, stating the obvious. “Now, we’re going to go to the same building that-”

“I don’t get it…” Steven said.

“...Don’t get what?”

“This. All of this.” He iterated. “Why is all this destruction still here? No offense to any of Little Homeworld’s workers, but I feel like this should all be gone by now. They’ve had weeks. And with Bismuth leading them, it should have taken no time at all. Why is all this still here?”

“...Because we had a vote,” Garnet said. “Recently, before your outburst, we’ve been looking for better ways for Gems to get used to human things. We have classes and all that, but those don’t completely prepare them for the world. And when the explosion came, we saw an opportunity. When the people of Beach City saw what happened, they offered up their homes, allowing any Gems who needed shelter to stay there with them. So we cast a vote and decided that it was a good idea. The Gems have a place to stay, and get most used to human culture in the process.”

“Okay, that’s actually a good thing…” Steven said. “...But that doesn’t explain why the work here has hardly begun. Shouldn’t they be coming over during the day to help clean it up? Or…” He gulped and looked away in shame. “...Am I just saying some selfish things and expecting them to do things that they shouldn’t have to?”

“It’s okay. I know what you were trying to say by that.” Garnet said. “But it’s because we wanted them to stay at home more. You’re right. They shouldn’t be forced to clean up this mess. So we didn’t make them. We announced that anyone who wants to help out can, but they won’t be made to. So they all set their own system where a few Gems go each day and clean up their respective houses, or classroom buildings, anything there that has meaning to them. It’s been working quite well so far, even if it’s taken longer than anticipated. But I predicted that this would be the best way to handle things, so we’re doing it this way until it’s all back to normal.”

Steven remained silent and then glanced around again, the darkness and silence of a Little Homeworld beginning to grow intimidating. Unlike usual, the lamps that were almost always lit up were put out, and the whole area looked more like a horror movie set than a refuge and sanctuary for Gems. It was extremely unnerving, and heartbreaking, to see.

“Do they hate me?” He asked, earning a look of mild surprise from Garnet. “Do they hate me for decimating their homes and lives, for hurting their friends, and for basically ruining everything? Do they hold animosity towards me for it?”

“...No,” Garnet said, as the two started to walk along towards the bunker. “Although we didn’t directly tell them about Mirror, as that might have led to a mass panic, we did inform them of the fact that you were being controlled and that you were _not_ at fault. You were simply in the wrong place at the wrong time. You never wanted to hurt anyone. They accepted this answer, and we moved on. No one hates you, and if you saw them they would forgive you.” She adjusted her visors as Steven scratched at his fingernails. “You taught them how to live on Earth. You brought peace across the empire. It’s going to take a lot more than that for these Gems to start disliking you.”

“It was enough for Aquamarine and Eyeball,” Steven said, making Garnet flinch a centimeter or two. “By the way...what are you going to do with them? How are you going to capture them?”

“We’ll be waiting for them in the Temple,” Garnet replied. “When they come in, we’ll all jump them at once before they have a chance to defend themselves. We also need to be especially fast, since Aquamarine has her wand again, as Jasper claimed.”

“But...what then?” Steven asked. “We’ve already tried to rehabilitate them once, and it didn’t work. Are we going to try again, or just stick them in a bubble like we originally did with Peridot?”

“...”

“...”

“We’re going to interrogate them.” Garnet finally said, her pause indicating that she wasn’t looking forward to revealing that.

“Interrogate?!” Steven exclaimed, his mind immediately going to good/bad cop scenarios he had seen in several movies with Connie. “Isn’t that going a little too far? I understand that they might have the answers we want, but I think it’s best if we let them come out by themselves instead of _forcing_ them to tell us what they know. That’s...that’s too cruel. Even if they want to kill me. We should at _least_ try to give them one last chance.”

“Normally I would agree with you, Steven,” Garnet said, before looking down and staring him right in the eyes. “But we’ve been backed into a corner here. We’re facing an enemy we know virtually nothing about, with abilities that we currently have no defense against. We can’t afford to wait until those two give us information by themselves. We’ve all agreed that we need to take care of this as quickly as possible before Mirror gets another chance to...to…”

“...Take me over and force me to blow up something else?” Steven sighed, rolling his eyes at Garnet’s hesitation to finish her sentence. “Yeah, I get it. Heck, I know just how much of a risk we’re taking _right now_ , being in the open like this. But are you sure there isn’t another way? Isn’t there anything we can do that doesn’t involve such extreme methods?”

Garnet’s only response was to shake her head, and Steven groaned softly as she did so. Afterward, he looked away from her and back towards the self-driving machines a few hundred feet away, still endlessly scooping dirt into the crater.

“Then what?” He asked. “After they tell us what we want to know, are we going to poof them as I said? Stick them in a bubble until we’ve decided that it’s no longer necessary?”

“...None of those,” Garnet said stonily. “We’re going to hand them over to the Diamonds and let _them_ deal with this.”

“The Diamonds?” Steven asked, more of a mix between a scoff and a question. “What are they going to do? They’ve dismantled every prison on Homeworld, and bubbling another Gem for extended periods of time is illegal there now. What can they do that we can’t?”

“Ask Pearl when you get the chance,” Garnet said. “She was the one that came up with the idea, and we all went along with it. She said that she’d handle it and take them to Homeworld by herself, _and_ that we wouldn’t have to worry about those two ever again once it was done.”

“...Okay, that just sounds like she’s going to take them to a distant planet and murder them, then bury the shards where no one will ever find them.” Steven pointed out. “Seriously. How does that _not_ sound suspicious for you?”

“Trust me, it does,” Garnet said. “Which is why I’m going to follow her and keep an eye on her when...if we succeed. If she _does_ intend to hand them over to the Diamonds, then I'm not entirely sure what she expects them to do. But she looked like she had a plan, so I didn’t raise any objections.”

“Yeah, to take them out into nowhere space and ax murder them…” Steven mumbled, who had seen far too many horror movies to sense anything good about Pearl’s “I’ll do it myself” attitude. “But then that’s it? We’ll just send them off and never see them again?”

“Yes. That’s the hope.” Garnet said. “Of course, we’ll have to place them under protection…”

“Why?” Steven asked. “Are there Gems on Homeworld who will want to hurt them or something?”

“No. It’s Mirror.” Garnet replied. “Somehow, they figured out that you and Connie discovered the journal. We still don’t know, but they did. Which may mean that they can figure out if Aquamarine and Eyeball share all their secrets with us.”

“How?” Steven asked. “Through some super-advanced surveillance technology?”

“I’m not sure, but I’m going to have Peridot figure it out first thing. Assuming that those two don’t tell us themselves.”

“...”

“...”

“Well, I think-”

“We’re here,” Garnet announced, causing Steven to stop short. He looked up and realized that the two of her had made it to the bunker without him even realizing it, appearing exactly how it was the last time he saw it. Without wasting a moment, Garnet turned the hatch and opened it with a hiss, and gestured for Steven to go inside first. After a moment of hesitation, he did so reluctantly, the flashbacks of what happened in the illusion world still fresh in his mind. Garnet followed him a second later, and together the two descended the stairs to the first level.

“Alright. I’m going to go now. Everything you need to keep you safe is here.” Garnet said. “I’m locking the bunker behind me with the emergency meltdown switch Bismuth put it, as a way to make sure that nobody who _isn’t_ aware of the secret entrances can get in.”

“...Everything I need,” Steven mumbled. “Yeah. Except someone to interact with. How long am I going to have to stay alone down here?”

“You’ve been strategically avoiding us around the house for weeks.” Garnet deadpanned, bypassing his question entirely. “I find it odd that you’d want a companion now. I understand if you’re worried about Bluebird, but believe me, once I activate that lock it will be impossible for them to break-”

“It’s not that,” Steven said. “Last time I was down here alone...things didn’t go so well. Remember when I was telling you guys about my experiences in the illusion world Pink Steven and the Other Side set up for me?”

“Vividly. But I don’t-” Garnet started to say, before she recalled the portion where he had entered the bunker and been thrown around like a chew toy on the stairs. “Ah. I see. Don’t worry, Steven. You don’t have to be afraid of anything like that. Beach City is not seismically active, so if the ground does start shaking, it could only be the Cluster trying to form itself.”

“...”

“I made things worse, didn’t I?”

“Oh, absolutely,” Steven said, before walking past her and heading for the end of the hall. “Okay. I’m going to go down to the second level and try to get some sleep there. If you capture Bluebird and then come to get me, try not to wake me up and just carry me back to the house.” He sighed. “I’d much rather wake up in my bed at this point than down here.”

“Acknowledged,” Garnet said, before turning around. But before she went back up the stairs, Steven heard her let out a sigh of her own, and almost instantly he knew what she was about to say. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry we have to do this to you and force you to stay down here.”

“I’ve heard this or something similar to it a hundred times before, Garnet,” Steven said. “Every day. Either by you, Pearl, or Amethyst. I get it. I understand. I know what’s at stake and that this isn’t going to be a permanent solution. I know that your glances of fear at me are not my fault, but Mirrors. And I know that I have to have all my electronics taken away from me because you’re worried that _they_ might hack into them or something.”

“We didn’t tell you that's why we took them away,” Garnet said.

“Yeah. But I figured it out.” Steven said. “Goodnight, Garnet.”

“...Goodnight, Steven.” She said, and with that Garnet went back up the stairs, slamming the hatch shut behind her. She pressed the button on the small hidden panel on the left, and instantly the door made another hissing sound as it started to melt down the seal that opened and closed it. She turned and left before it was even halfway done, deciding to go to Bismuth first.

There was a lot of work to do after all, and very little time to do it.

***

The second Garnet left, Steven stood in place and didn’t move or say a word for approximately twenty minutes. He just stood there, going over everything that had led him to this point. He had been doing this quite a lot lately, to the point where it was almost a hobby. It was an activity that could last hours after all. Going over everything didn’t just mean everything from the explosion forward. No, it meant _everything_. From his very first memories to the present. Sometimes he skipped sections that were too...uncomfortable to think about for long periods of time (or any period of time for that matter), but usually he made sure not to miss anything.

But why? Well, even he didn’t know that. Maybe he was wondering if and how things could have gone differently. A good deal of things thoughts during these sessions were composed of imagining different futures for himself, where things didn’t go _quite_ as horribly as they did in this one. It entertained him, and brought him temporary joy. It was far superior to taking a nap and dealing with nightmares or rereading every book in the house for the hundredth time. He still got salty every now and then that they took his electronics away. His phone and computer he could understand. Mirror might hack it or do something equally sinister with them. But he didn’t understand why they had to take the TV away or his video game system. What would Mirror even do with those? Interrupt the signal and say mean things about him on the screen? 

Steven made the first sound in almost a half-hour, a scoff, as his mind went back to all this again. The video-games he was especially annoyed about. He had been rather close to beating one of them, and now he had to wait for God knows how long to finish it. He had searched around the house for the system as well as the TV (in the most inconspicuous (suspicious) manner possible), but he found nothing. He suspected that it was being kept at Little Homeworld or in the Temple, which meant it was inaccessible if he wanted to be allowed to sleep in his own bed at night. 

But back in the present, Steven bit his lip and became aware of his surroundings again, before moving forward and resuming his walk towards the stairs like nothing had happened. He grabbed a bag of chips and a water bottle on the way over, figuring that he better get something to eat before going to bed again. Once he reached the stairs, hesitation flooded into his head, as expected. Garnet’s comment about how any seismic activity would be the Cluster did not help matters, and frankly made him want to sleep on the floor up here instead of going down the stairs and risk falling.

But the hesitation was quickly drowned out by his will to sleep, so he descended them as casually as possible and entered the second level, still as empty as ever. Once inside he ate the bag of chips, took a few sips from the water bottle, and then turned the lights off before picking the nearest bed and laying down on it. Bismuth has somehow made the beds down here more comfortable than his own, so he had no trouble in that regard. In less than a minute the drowsiness overtook him and he fell asleep, unsure of what to feel about the whole situation anymore.

Unfortunately, it was what happened _next_ that disturbed him most. As Steven lay there under the blankets, which had been pulled up to his nose, he was woken up by a sudden jolt in his chest, like his heart had just skipped a beat. But as he tried to fall asleep again he began to feel uncomfortably warm, like if someone was aiming a space heater directly at him. He shrugged it off and attempted to ignore it, but the heat only got more intense as time went on, and by the time he had sweat running down his forehead Steven had decided that enough was enough. He climbed out of bed and flicked on the night light next to it, only to be met with…

...nothing.

Nothing at all. The shelter hadn’t changed in the slightest. The second the light registered in his eyes the heat vanished, and upon realizing this Steven immediately passed it off as nothing but his subconscious uncomfortableness with the whole situation. If he ignored it it would just go away. He turned the light back off and climbed back into the bed, unperturbed in the slightest.

**“It rattles you, doesn’t it, Steven?”**

“AHHH!” He screeched, shooting upwards and banging his head on the bottom of the top bunk. “OW! Damn it!” He cursed, now holding his head as he looked around for the source of the voice that had exploded into his ears. “Who’s there?! I know I heard a voice! Show yourself!”

 **“I’d rather not.”** The voice hissed, and Steven sucked in his breath as he realized who that voice belonged to. _Mirror_. It was undeniable. Same tone, same inflection, the same manner of speaking that they had back in the illusion world. Steven pinched his arms several times to wake himself up, only to be greeted with nothing but pain. No matter how he dug his nails into his skin, he didn’t wake, and only after he realized that the throbbing from his head was real pain did he stop. He flicked the night light on for the third time, knowing that such an action was probably pointless in this situation but still feeling a small sense of comfort from it.

“Okay…Okay okay okay...” He said, attempting to calm himself any way he could. “W-what do you want, Mirror? H-how are you doing this if I’m awake?”

 **“I hacked into the bunkers speaker systems,”** Mirror said. **“With the use of some...well, Garnet will tell you soon enough. But rest assured, you don’t have to be afraid. I’m not “here” at the moment.”**

“That doesn’t change anything,” Steven growled. “I don’t want to hear anything you have to say. Just...just leave before you ruin my life even more.” He climbed out of the bed and walked towards the opposite end of the hall. “Actually, you know what? _I’m_ leaving. With the use of the hatch on the third level. If this is reality, then you have no power here. I’m pretty sure that I need to be asleep or unconscious for you to take over my mind, so I’m just going to ignore you and get _out_ of here.”

 **“How do you know you’re not asleep?”** Mirror asked. **“And don’t use the pinching as an example. Remember the fire. Your lungs. That illusion could make you feel things that weren’t even there. You really can’t prove you’re not in an illusion, and that this is all just an extremely convincing dream.”**

“Well then, I guess there’s only one way to find out,” Steven said, ignoring this as he claimed her would and continuing to walk towards the stairs. “If this is really a dream, then either torture me or release me from it. Don’t waste my time with more of your talk. You sent Bluebird to kill me, and I’m not in the mood to have a chat with the same person who would be the Earth equivalent of someone who hired an assassin!”

 **“Please,”** Mirror said. **“You think I sent those two away with the intent to kill you? I only told them that’s what I wanted. I was just getting rid of them. The plan your fusion had come up with will work, and they will fail and be captured. Just as I wanted. They were never going to be an effective pair on my ship, and I thought it’d be better for you to have them rather than me. Besides, I’m sure whatever fate Garnet had in store is far better than the one I’d come up with…”**

Steven didn’t respond, only narrowing his eyes as he made it to the door that led to level three. He swung it open and began walking down the stairs, much to the noticeable annoyance of Mirror.

 **“The silent treatment, is it?”** They asked. **“Alright. Go ahead. Bury it. Ignore me, and then when I leave you can bury this memory deep down where no one will ever find it. Just like the rest of your problems. And then when the time comes, I’ll take hold again and force it all out, and this time none of your friends will survive.”**

“You-!” Steven started, before calming himself, knowing that he couldn’t let Mirror get to him. If it wasn’t, then it was either an extremely effective copycat or just a complete auditory hallucination. But either way, Steven didn’t care. He was going to get away from it one way or another, even if he had to climb down to the deepest and darkest parts of the bunker again to do it. “Stop it. You’re not getting to me this way.”

 **“Oh really?”** Mirror asked, their voice cracking with static as it blared over the loudspeakers. **“Just a second ago you were giving me the silent treatment, and now you’re talking again. I think I got to you pretty effectively.”**

“Shut up…” Steven hissed. “Just shut up and get lost! You’re not in control anymore!”

 **“Such language…”** Mirror sighed. **“This isn’t the kind of tone I’d expect from you, Steven. All that talk about peace and love and being the savior of the universe, although deep down I guess this is what you really are. An angry little mess who likes to scream or bury his problems. I tried to do that once. Now, look at me! You’re going to end up the same way. Assuming you live long enough to do it…”**

“I can use whatever tone I want when speaking to you,” Steven growled. “You hurt all those Gems and caused all that destruction. You almost killed Bismuth and Connie! She’s still in the hospital because of what you did!”

 **“This was only partly my fault,”** Mirror claimed. **“Sad to say it, Universe, but you screwed yourself over on this one, for the most part. Your precious Other Side and Pink Steven were the catalysts for the explosion, I just took advantage of it. And it worked beautifully.”**

“I won’t let that happen again,” Steven said. “Even if I have to…” He stopped mid-sentence and stopped where he was, unable if he was sure about the words that were about to leave his mouth.

 **“Have to _what?”_** Mirror queried. **“Oh, I know what you were about to say. Even if I have to die to do it. Is that what it’s going to come to in the end? Are you going to sacrifice yourself to get rid of me, Universe? Because trust me, I won’t be one to complain.”**

“I didn’t mean that,” Steven mumbled. “But it doesn’t matter. You can keep running your mouth off all you want. Peridot will find you, or someone else will. And then we will destroy your ship and I’ll make sure that they put you some here where you never see the light of day again! And then I’ll be free to get all the help I need without ever having to hear about the Traitor or you!”

 **“Oh, how convenient. Stop me and all your mental pain just vanishes.”** Mirror mocked. **“Isn’t that a nice thought? But you can’t stop this, Steven. You can’t stop who you’re turning into. A monster. What did you say just now? Never see the light of day again? Again, such harsh words. I’m hurt.”**

“...I’m not talking about this anymore,” Steven muttered, resuming his walk down the stairs. “Get lost already. Or say what you came here to say. I don’t have time for small talk with the same person who wants to murder all my friends.”

 **“And yet, you talk with the Diamonds. And Jasper. And Spinel. And Peridot. People who constantly tried to murder you and your friends on a daily basis.”** Mirror pointed out. **“Who’s to say I won’t turn out the same way? Maybe you’ll find me and redeem me as you did with them. We’ll become best friends and one day both of us will laugh about this as we share a drink together…”**

“...”

 **“...But we both know that’s an impossibility, don’t we?”** Mirror asked rhetorically. **“Yeah, after what I did, you’ll never give me a chance to “reform”, won’t you?”**

“...”

**“Although if I’m wrong, I did find it amusing that you think you can “reform” me. What are you going to reform me as? Teach me how to love people? How to value the little things? How to respect all life? How many lessons are there in the guide book I’m betting you have stashed away in your bedside drawer?”**

“I _don’t_ have a-” Steven started, before sighing. “Okay, yes, I do, but it’s not in my bedside drawer. And it’s a lot more complicated than it sounds. As for what I’d try to reform you _into..._ I think I would start with your homicidal tendencies.”

**“I only kill when it’s necessary. You can’t blame me for that. I need you and your friends to die. Otherwise, things may happen that...I won’t take a liking to. Like my existence becoming public knowledge. And trust me, if the entire universe suddenly knows who I am, then I won’t hesitate to come up with an extremely convoluted scheme to murder them all. Heck, I think I already have a contingency for that…”**

“Fascinating.” Steven deadpanned, before he reached the hatch that led to the third leek and swung it open. In the distance he could see the ladder that led up to the surface, attached to a wall. His way out, and the cure for the whole loudspeaker problem. Without wasting another second, he resumed his walk, wanting this to be over with as soon as possible.

**“You’re not even going to ask?”**

“Ask what?” Steven groaned.

 **“Ask how I heated your body up,”** Mirror said. **“That’s why you got out of bed, right? Because I made you feel like you were in a sauna. Are you not even the tiniest bit curious as to how I accomplished that?”**

“...If I ask, will you finally leave me alone.”

**“Maybe.”**

“Fine. How did you do it?” Steven grumbled, clenching his fists.

 **“Just a little...mental manipulation,”** Mirror said. **“The power of the mind over the body. I just needed to get inside your head, mix a few neurons around, add some flavor...and voila! A perfect trick.”**

“Got inside my head…” Steven echoed. “You mean back in the illusion world? Did you plant part of yourself in there or something to use against me later-”

 **“No, although that would have been a more entertaining option,”** Mirror said. **“It’s the same way I’ve been able to listen in to all your conversations. I have...wait, what am I doing? Why would I deny this to you earlier only to tell you now? I almost lost it there for a second.”**

“I think you lost it a long time ago,” Steven said, reaching the ladder and beginning to climb up it.

 **“Probably,”** Mirror admitted. **“The human mind isn’t meant to last this long after all. I always wondered why people wished to be immortal. After a few hundred years, even the most mentally hardened person would snap. It’s only inevitable. It’s like Pink Steven said. Gems can’t go insane. Kind of a cheat, if you ask me.”**

“...So you are human?” Steven said softly. “You claimed you weren’t the Traitor, only that you had a connection to them.”

 **“That’s right,”** Mirror said. **“Although this connection is a very small one. I never actually met them, and who knows where they are now. Even I don’t. Somehow, they’ve been in hiding, all this time.”**

Steven sighed and stopped climbing, a revelation coming to mind. One that he had suspicions about for a while, but could never confirm. But this just did. And for the first time since Mirror hijacked the intercom system, Steven felt an emotion other than irritation or fear.

“I think I know what you are.” He said. “Pearl was wrong, wasn’t she? There _was_ more than one human test subject at that Lab, all those thousands of years ago. They made you as well, and I’m guessing they destroyed every bit of information they had on you. Tried to make it so that you never existed in the first place, right?”

**“...”**

“Yeah, I thought that would-”

 **“Only human test subject…”** Mirror muttered, suddenly sounding mournful. **“That couldn’t be further from the truth. There were _hundreds_ of human test subjects at that Lab, Universe. The Traitor was the only truly successful one. Everyone else, well, they were just sliced into pieces and studied. Because they _needed_ to cut people up first. Figure out how they worked. Their brains, their organs, their muscles, those Gems needed to learn every scrap of information there was to learn about how the human body functioned, all so they could improve it and make their own personal army of super-soldiers. Whoever the Traitor was was just lucky that they were snatched up when they were, because at least _they_ had a chance to survive. The rest were just dissected and discarded, forgotten just like every other person from that time. It was a war. And they didn’t even see humans as “living”. So why should they have felt any guilt about it?”**

“Oh my god…” Steven mumbled. “I can definitely see why Pearl left that part out of her explanation. But...that doesn’t make sense. If you were from that lab, then how did you survive? You had to have been a successful experiment to-”

 **“Who said I was successful?”** Mirror asked rhetorically. **“You? Me? Them? Nobody? But I’ll say this, you are right about one thing: I was at that lab. I was captured to be turned into a monster meant to be hated, created to be feared, crafted to be used as _fodder_. That was all I ever was. But it was more than the rest...all my brothers and sisters I saw get chopped into wafer-thin slices, their blood drained into-”**

“Okay, STOP!” Steven yelled, now climbing even faster than before. “You’re going to make me throw up at this rate. When I mentioned that Pearl left this part out of her explanation, that didn’t mean I wanted you to fill in the blanks!”

 **“But it is what really happened. Not that kiddy-version your Pearl gave you.”** Mirror said. **“If you want to find the Traitor, you’re never going to get anywhere if you don’t get your hands dirty, both figuratively and literally. That path is a bloody one, and anyone who walks it will have to get their shoes-”**

“I’ve given up on that,” Steven said, who could now just barely see the hatch that led to the surface. “I don’t care about the Traitor anymore. It was what led to all this. I don’t know where that journal is, but I’m hoping it was destroyed in my outburst. It brought nothing but painful memories and pain for everyone involved. If they’re dead, good riddance I say. I’d prefer it if I never had to think about them again. And after we catch _you_ , and I finally get my freedom back, I intend on doing so.”

 **“You lie,”** Mirror said. **“You can claim all you want that the mystery doesn’t matter, but it does and you know it. You still want to learn about what happened to them. The explosion didn’t change any feelings towards your mother, yes? You want to know if it was true, what Pearl told you. If the story of the Traitor ended with another despicable action committed by her.”**

“I…” Steven started, unable to deny that this was at least _partly_ true. “You’re just trying to mess with me here. It’s not going to work. I don’t want to think about her just like I don’t want to think about them. Or Pink Steven, or the Other Side, or anyone else that’s been screwing up my life and mental state! I just want things to go back to normal.” He reached the hatch and started twisting it around, the metal emitting a loud squeaking sound in the process. “Pink Steven may have had good intentions in mind, but he did terrible things to accomplish them. The Other Side was just...something to loath, and my mother is a person that I get severe anxiety about anytime she’s even mentioned. That giant crack in the mindscape was proof enough of that.”

 **“...One last thing before you leave.”** Mirror requested, seeming to ignore what Steven just said entirely. **“I have a question for you.”**

“Fine. What?” Steven sighed.

 **“Are you a bad person for doing this to yourself?”**

“...”

“...”

“...What?” Steven whispered. “To myself? What do you mean by that?”

“...”

“Hey!” He shouted, ironically now _wanting_ them to answer. “Are you there?”

“...”

“Son of a…” Steven started, before realizing that staying there any further was pointless. Even if Mirror was gone, he didn’t want to take the risk of being cooked alive by the internal heating, which he was pretty sure was the cause for the change in temperature later, not something getting into his brain. He climbed out of the hatch and closed it behind it, shivering slightly as the wind passed him from a nearby window. Steven checked his surroundings, before noticing that he had surfaced in Peridot’s greenhouse, from the hatch hidden behind some petunias. 

“Doing this to yourself…” He repeated. “What the heck did they mean by that? Are they talking about themselves in some weird way, or about how I’m somehow hurting my mental state by leaving the shelter, or...or…”

Steven paused and then sighed, realizing that the answer to a question like _that_ was likely one he wouldn’t be able to figure out. At least not in the time he had. Because soon Aquamarine and Eyeball would be captured (hopefully) and then Garnet would go back to the shelter to pick him up. He had to get back to the secondary hatch, because in all likelihood that’s where she was going to pick him up. He stretched his limbs a bit and then maneuvered his way past all the plants, which were practically growing in every free space available. Steven thought that Peridot liked to keep them a bit more trimmed than this, but since she was currently spending all day working on making her mind device, she likely didn’t have as much time to deal with her plants.

And then he left the greenhouse, to be greeted with the darkness and solve of a near-abandoned Little Homeworld. It was almost tranquil in a way, like an empty city in the middle of an apocalypse. He could still make out the buildings through the darkness, but only their shapes. His only sense of direction came from the giant sounds of the digging machines filling up the crater, and thus that was the only way to go. He began slowly walking, checking to make sure that he didn’t step on anything sharp. He was only wearing a pair of socks, due to how quickly he and Garnet had left the Beach House (besides the whole conversation they had), so now he had to make sure that he didn’t step on a nail and have to get fifty tetanus shots, probably all from doctor Mahesweran. 

And that would be the most awkward situation on Earth. He hadn’t seen Connie since the...incident, as her mother had made her stay in the hospital until she was _completely_ healed, with no exceptions. And considering the size of the gash on her forehead, at least by Garnet’s descriptions, Steven figured that she was going to be in there for a long time. So if he went there, and Dr. Mahesweran was the one treating him…

Well, he could expect a truckload of glares from her. So he made sure to watch his step, slowly moving towards the sound of the machines. And within minutes they were in sight. Still mindlessly scooping up dirt, leading him to once again wonder how the crater hadn’t been filled days ago. Unless they were actually working on something else, but he was too tired to inspect it. So instead he found the hatch after a quick look around and leaned against it, slowly letting himself sink to the ground. It wasn’t comfortable, to say the least, but there was no way he was going back to the shelter. After this experience and the one before it, Steven wasn’t sure if he could _ever_ enter that place without getting a massive influx of PTSD.

And so he sat, and he waited, and he stared up at the stars until they started to fade as darkness flooded his vision.

And then he returned to the dream world, a place that was now filled with nothing but painful memories and broken nightmares.

***

The first thing Steven was greeted to when he woke up was the feeling of the sun shining into his face, as per usual. The second thing was the feeling of a pillow underneath his head, and a blanket wrapped around him, causing him to let out a sigh of relief upon realizing that Garnet had honored his request and taken him back to his room without waking him up. He was sure that he’d have to explain later why he was sitting outside of the shelter, but that would be an easy explanation. At least until he got to the part with Mirror, at which point it would become a frantic interrogation filled with endless questions and curious looks.

Although speaking of interrogations…

Steven then moaned slightly as he realized that this also had to mean that Aquamarine and Eyeball had been captured, or that Jasper was lying. Even if they had been trying to kill him, he silently hoped that the Gems hadn’t been _too_ rough on them. Mirror themselves had said that they expected them to fail, and since they had already gone after _Jasper_ , a person that Eyeball worshipped, Steven suspected that both of them had been forced to do this.

Hopefully, at least.

But after this thought passed through his head, Steven pushed the blanket off him and stretched again, every part of his body making satisfying cricking noises as he spread them out. He sniffed the air, expecting to smell something from the kitchen being made by Amethyst, but surprisingly the only thing he smelled was the sea. He pushed himself off the bed and went downstairs, expecting to see Amethyst _preparing_ to make something, only to find an empty kitchen.

This was odd. More than odd, actually. It almost felt wrong. The kitchen was seldom empty when he came down in the morning. Or at least empty with no sign of anyone having been there. There should at least be a few crumbs or dirty dishes left by Amethyst on the floor or sink, and maybe an empty cup that once held coffee as well, courtesy of Garnet. But the sink was empty, and the countertop was so clean that it looked like it had been scrubbed by Pearl.

Steven cautiously went down the stairs after these observations, as if someone was about to leap out and stab him with a knife at any second. He wouldn’t put it past Bluebird to try and trick him like this if she somehow succeeded in evading all his friends and then finding him near the shelter, so he kept a close eye on any spots where someone might be hiding.

“Hello?” He called out. “Is anyone here? Garnet? Amethyst? Pearl?”

“...”

“Bluebird?”

There was no answer. The house remained empty and still, and Steven was about to huff and walk over to the kitchen when-

The warp pad suddenly activated before he could even take a single step, and he jumped nearly a foot in the air, letting out a shrieking noise that sounded like a mix between an ostrich and a cassowary. After calling out like that, he had been so expectant to _not_ receive any sort of response that the pad made his heart beat so fast that it was almost jolted out of place, and he was still recovering from the shock when the light vanished and revealed Bismuth, who spotted him instantly and smiled.

“Hey, Steven!” She said, giving him a small wave, which he returned with an even smaller one. “How are you doing?”

“Uh...fine.” The hybrid said awkwardly. “Um, no offense, but what are you doing here, Bismuth? Where is everyone?”

“Oh, they’re all at Little Homeworld.” The bulky Gem replied. “Garnet’s plan to capture those two troublemakers worked perfectly, and now they’re busy...dealing with them.” She said, looking away from Steven for a split second.

“...Dealing with them _how?”_

“Just asking them some questions, about that Mirror person and what their mission was.” Bismuth said. “Standard stuff. It shouldn’t be very long until they get back.”

“Okay...but why are _you_ here in particular?” Steven repeated.

“Well, Pearl wanted to stay behind to help with the...questioning, but she also wanted someone to take care of you and keep an eye on you.” Bismuth explained. “So I offered myself up, and here we are. Pretty good timing too. Looks like you just woke up.”

“Yeah, I guess so,” Steven said. “But why do I need someone to keep an eye on me?” He asked. “Even during this whole house-arrest thing, they’ve left me alone pretty regularly. I mean, I know they have cameras and listening devices, but they’ve never had to be here physically. What changed?”

“Something Garnet recommended.” Bismuth said. “She felt bad about forcing you to come with her to the shelter the other night, so she wanted to do something for you. But since she couldn’t do it herself because she had to help with Bluebird, she had to get someone else to do it. So me being here is two-fold. Keeping an eye out and making sure you’re safe, and doing...this, I guess.” She rambled, holding out a piece of paper. 

Steven took it from her hands and inspected it, realizing that it was an ingredient and instruction list. Specifically, some kind of pancake that was supposed to be cookie-cat flavored. Steven wasn’t sure if he even liked the concept of this, but what really stuck out was the underlying truth to it all: Garnet had sent Bismuth here to make him a special breakfast as an apology for making him spend all night outside in the cold. (Well, part of that was Mirror’s/his own fault, but still). Again, he wasn’t sure if he liked this. But the idea of pancakes (or any other food really) tasting like cookie cats intrigued him, so he couldn't say no to it.

Also, doing so would be rude, because judging by the list the pancakes were of the custom-made variety, and he didn’t want to undermine Garnet’s...or Pearl’s...or whoever’s hard work. So he handed the list back to Bismuth and smiled, who beamed upon seeing this reaction.

“Pearl told me that all the ingredients should already be in the house.” Bismuth said. “So...do you want any? It’s completely up to you, Garnet just thought it would be nice.”

“I’d love some,” Steven claimed. “Tell her thanks next time you see her.”

“Ha! You can tell her yourself.” Bismuth said, walking over to the kitchen. “She should be here soon enough. I don’t think that whole questioning things is going to take that long, and after you finish...these, we’ve all agreed to hold a meeting here to figure out what to do with the information those two gave us.”

“What are we going to do with them afterward?” Steven asked, as Bismuth started rummaging around in the fridge, pulling out random bottles and squinting at them. “I already asked Garnet this, but she didn’t give me that clear an answer, so I was wondering if you knew.”

“I’m not sure. I’m leaving _that_ up to her and Pearl.” Bismuth said, who was now carrying an armful of ingredients, which looked like the contents of half the fridge and cupboard. “But I don’t think we’re going to bubble them. I _think_ their plan is to try to help them again, like before. Give them the Steven treatment.”

“The Steven treatment?”

“It’s a nickname for our redeeming sessions.” Bismuth chuckled. “Anytime we uncorrupted a Homeworld Gem that was uncooperative, we put them through a few special classes to show them how to become better, and that they didn’t have to follow the old system anymore. And since it’s based on methods you gave us, we named it accordingly.”

“Oh yeah…” Steven said. “I remember telling you guys all those methods. But it’s been so long since you’ve had to use that I thought everyone else had forgotten all about it.”

“Well, you’re right about the part where we haven’t had to use it for a while…” Bismuth said. “But trust me, we haven’t forgotten. Pearl literally had it written down on a huge billboard in the building where we all like to meet. Er...used to have to have it written down.” She mumbled. “It’s kinda...destroyed now.”

“...”

“Right, sorry, shouldn’t have mentioned that.” She apologized. “But don’t worry. She’s already-”

“It’s okay,” Steven reassured her. “You can talk about it all you want. It’s not like that’s a new concept to me. I’m reminded of it every day. When I look out the window at places I can’t visit anymore, or go to my room and look at the blank spots where my TV and phone once were, and especially last night, when I went to Little Homeworld and saw everything you guys have been working on. It might make you uncomfortable, but not me. You can talk about it freely, Bismuth, I don’t mind.”

“Well...okay.” She said. “But still, I don’t think we should focus on that.” She then grabbed a pan from one of the cupboards and stuck it on the top of the oven before turning the heater on, and flames instantly sparked out beneath it. “Just gonna wait for that to heat up a bit…” She said, before turning to Steven.

“So, you’ve asked me plenty of questions, so I think it’s time I got to ask _you_ one.” She chuckled. “What were you doing outside the shelter last night?”

Steven froze in place after she asked this, as if she had just shot him with a freeze gun. He slowly turned towards her, a look of confusion and minor concern on his face, before opening his mouth and speaking, his words coming out in stutters.

“H-how do you know about that?” He asked. “I-I thought Garnet was the one that carried me back here.”

“Nope.” Bismuth said. “It was me. After we poofed Eyeball and knocked out Aquamarine, Garnet told me to go get you without waking you for some reason. So I did, and I found you asleep by the secondary hatch, I wanted to wake you up and ask what you were doing, but I remembered what Garnet said, so I just picked you up and carried you back here. Simple, really.” She explained. “But uh...what were you doing again?”

Steven took a deep breath after this, before grabbing a chair and sitting down at the table. “I’ll tell you. But please try not to freak out.”

“No promises.” 

“Okay….it was Mirror.” Steven blurted out, earning a look of shock from Bismuth. “I don’t know how, but they somehow hacked into the shelter's PA system and started speaking to me. I didn’t want to hear any of what they had to say, so I just left.”

“Hold on…” Bismuth said cautiously. “You’re telling me that _Mirror_ was in my shelter? Did they spend a night _lurking around in there?!”_

“No, no!” Steven quickly. “At least...I don’t think they did. But they claimed that they took over the speakers in the shelter from...wherever they are with some kind of device that...Garnet will be able to tell me about?” He guessed. “I don’t know. They were kinda vague about the whole thing. Not to mention extremely annoying.”

“Well...what did they say to you?” Bismuth asked. “Why were they there?”

“Again, I’m not sure,” Steven said. “It honestly felt like they were just checking in. Although they had plenty to say. Mostly more weird vague stuff that I’m pretty sure was just meant to irritate me. Although... two things stood out.”

“What were they?” Bismuth asked. 

“The first thing was that they sorta confirmed that they were a test subject at that Lab. The one that made the original Traitor.” Steven explained. “And that there were hundreds of human test subjects there, but all of them were pretty much killed and then dissected so the scientists there would figure out how the human body worked. I guess so they could perfect it and make super-soldiers for them.”

“They were a test subject at that lab? Geez...that’s new. And I _definitely_ didn’t know about the...hundreds of humans part.” Bismuth said, visibly shaken. “But if they’re not the Traitor, then how did they survive…?”

“They didn’t tell me that,” Steven said. “Although they did say that they were an...unsuccessful experiment there. I’m guessing they survived because the war ended and the lab was destroyed before they could be killed like the rest. Of course, this doesn’t tell us anything about how they got to space, or how they came across a ship and managed to get hold of a crew…” He sighed and twiddled his thumbs. “So that’s just something we’ll have to speculate about.”

Bismuth leaned against the counter after all this, a hand on her chin like she was in deep thought. A moment later, she perked up and recalled something else Steven had said, and acted accordingly.

“What about the second thing?” She asked. “You said that there were _two_ things Mirror told you that stood out.”

“Oh yeah. This one is a little more confusing.” Steven said. “It was right before I left the shelter. They wanted to tell me one more thing, and I accepted out of blind curiosity. They asked “are you a bad person for doing this to yourself”, and then they just left. I have no idea what it was supposed to mean.”

“Hmm…” Bismuth hummed. “Do you think they were talking about the explosion and your mental health? Or something else entirely?”

“Again, I have no idea,” Steven said. “They could be talking about me, they could be talking about themselves, although that makes no sense whatsoever, or they could be talking about Pink Steven or-”

“...”

“...”

“...What’s wrong?” Bismuth asked, mildly concerned by Steven’s sudden silence. “Did you just realize something?”

“...Maybe?” Steven said, clearly unsure of this answer. “I forgot to tell you guys. I was contacted by Pink me again. Just yesterday. We had a conversation.”

“What? Really?” Bismuth exclaimed, honestly sounding a little excited. “But I thought you told us that Mirror locked him away. In your Gem...inside your mind...or something like that.”

“I know. It’s all a bit confusing.” Steven said. “But regardless, he somehow managed to get through. He mentioned how he didn’t have much time to talk to me, and I think it was taking everything he had to communicate. Whatever Mirror did to him was pulling him back to my Gem, so we couldn’t talk for that long.”

“Well, what did he...no.” Bismuth said. “No, ah, I think that’s something we should discuss when everyone’s here.” She requested, to which Steven nodded in agreement. “But was there anything that happened that made you think of Mirror’s question? Anything you did or said to him that stood out?”

“No. Definitely not,” Steven said. “Their voice was pretty distorted, like they were in pain, but I don’t think that was my fault. And there was nothing else off about him. So...I’m still at square one when it comes to that.”

“Yeesh.” Bismuth said, running a hand over her hair. She looked at the pan on the stove, now an ideal temperature, and then to the ingredients stacked neatly next to her. “So...do you still want these cookie-cat pancakes? Again, this is all stuff we should be talking about with everyone present, but I’ll understand if you don’t-”

“No, I still want them,” Steven said, before frowning slightly. “But...you do know how to cook though, right?”

“Pft! I’ve built weapons ten times more complicated than this! And all the instructions are right here!” Bismuth beamed, waving him off. “How hard can it be?”

“Well…” Steven started to say, before thinking twice of it. “You’re right. And no matter what state they’re in when you finish, I’ll eat them. I’m too curious.”

“That’s the spirit!” Bismuth agreed, before turning to the numerous boxes she had laid out. “Now, which one of these is the flour again...?”

As Bismuth went from container to container, carefully examining each label, Steven stared out the front window and let his mind wander. What had Mirror been talking about when they “explained” how they took over the speakers? Was it more mental powers? And why did they say that Garnet would tell him soon? Was it something she knew about, or would learn from Aquamarine and Eyeball? And speaking of those two, would the “Steven technique” truly work? They had already rejected it once, who’s to say that they wouldn’t again?

All these questions and more floated through Steven’s mind, although there was one, not a question, but a statement, that was upfront and center. It had been festering ever since he learned about Aquamarine and Eyeball coming to kill him, and Mirror’s little takeover just helped it grow.

He didn’t want to stand by any longer.

It was time for him to go out and _do_ something about all this, regardless of the consequences.

And he knew exactly where to start.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The end of this chapter...and Mirror shows themselves again in a very unexpected way. Steven's sure not to go down there anytime soon, and by that I mean several years. The next chapter is going to be shorter, but it will be a very important one, as well as one...that I revised many times. I'm sure you'll all understand why.
> 
> Until next time...


	28. Note for Chapter 28

**Hey, so a quick notice and update for everyone that still reads and hopefully enjoyed this story, the next chapter is going to be a little late, and it’s likely going to be a few more days until it’s uploaded. I’m really sorry about this, but there is a lot going on with holiday stuff at the moment as well as the fact that I’m having trouble figuring out how to structure this chapter with the next few, and I’m editing it a lot because I feel like it needs to be changed in several ways.**

**But long story short, again, the chapter is going to be delayed for a few more days, and I’m sorry about that, but I hope everyone can be patient and understand.**

**And thank you again to the people who still read this thing, I’m forever grateful that you’ve taken an interest in my story and have stuck with it all the way so far.**


	29. Immoral

Aquamarine awoke in a dark place.

She knew she was awake, because the dream she was in disappeared. It was the first time she had ever “dreamt”. She had heard about it before, read a few files on it before going to Earth with Ruby as Bluebird, but she had never experienced it for herself. Even when she had the chance, back in the Captain’s ship on the way over, she made sure not to fall asleep. Maybe she was afraid of what she might dream about? Or maybe she was just unnerved by the idea of something completely new to her. Or maybe...those two things were exactly the same, when it came right down to it.

But regardless, she couldn’t stop herself this time. The second she hit the metal plate face-first, she knew it was over. Darkness overcame her vision, and the last thing she heard before she slipped into unconsciousness was a dull “thud” as she hit the wooden floor. 

After that, everything was a blur. Literally. She saw images...snapshots? Of different events in her life. Her first moments of consciousness, with the rough, grey walls of the kindergarten surrounding her. Then her first assignment, capturing a few Gems that had decided to go rogue. Her second assignment, the third, fifth, seventh, tenth, and eventually it went all the way down the lines, showing her images of random missions she went in, with no real pattern to it. As soon as Aquamarine realized what was happening to her, she started panicking, recalling the human saying of “life flashing before your eyes”. She tried to call out for help, but received nothing but more snapshots. Eventually, it reached the point where she met the Captain and was sent to Earth, and the last image that fluttered through her mind was the metal plating coming up to greet her.

Then she woke up. Screaming, of course. On instinct she summoned her wings without thinking and flew upwards, only to ram face-first into the ceiling. She let out another cry and floated downwards, finally realizing where she was. A blank, dark room with no visible doors or windows, similar to the inside of the empty room that she and Ruby had been greeted with in the Temple. She started wandering around until she hit four walls, and came to see that she was trapped, with her wand taken from her.

Which is where she was now. After pounding on the walls for a while, Aquamarine gave up once she realized that it was fruitless, and decided she could only make the most of it at this point. Which wasn’t much, especially since she knew the fate that awaited her. If the Crystal Gems didn’t shatter her for attempting to murder Steven and not-sorta-kinda murdering Garnet (she was still going over that one, all she knew was that the metal Gems Ruby described had to be fake), then the Captain and Opal would surely come raising hell when they found out what happened. Her worst fear had finally come to life.

So she sat. Alone. In silence. In the dark. Her only thought at the moment was of Ruby. What were they doing to her? Had they poofed her or just knocked her out like-

But before Aquamarine could contemplate any further on these unpleasant (in her opinion) thoughts, a portion of the wall next to her suddenly slid open, and light flooded into the room and temporarily blinded her. She covered her face with her hands, while the rectangular opening grew bigger until it was roughly seven feet tall. She could catch the outline of a figure entering, before it closed again and the darkness returned like the light had never been there to begin with.

“Ugh…” She groaned, still recovering from the sudden change in luminosity. “What the heck was that? Is someone there?”

“Yes.” A voice from the dark said, and the blue Gem gasped, instantly recognizing it as the voice of the fusion, Garnet. A Gem who was now in the room with her. The same Gem that they had fake-killed.

And judging by the tone in her voice, provided by the one simple word, Aquamarine could tell that she was slightly salty about that.

“Okay.” She said, before standing up. “I know who’s in here with me, and I just want to say-”

“I don’t want to hear any apologies,” Garnet said. “It’s already far too late for that. The second you dropped my Gems in that pit of lava, it was too late. You made your choice back then, and that’s a decision you won’t ever be able to undo.”

“I know,” Aquamarine said, frantically looking around her for Garnet but finding nothing. But it was still pitch-black, and she didn’t dare use her Gem as a flashlight, lest Garnet crack it to forcefully switch it off. It was clear to see, ironically, that she wanted Aquamarine to remain blind. “But please just hear me out. All we were doing was following orders. We didn’t _really_ want to shatter you, we _had_ to! We-”

“Then what about Steven?” Garnet asked. “Back when you were scaling that tube to get to the burning room, you both started freaking out a bit. But then it eventually reached the point where you talked about _murdering_ me and laughing at Pearl and Amethyst’s reaction to Steven's corpse. You can lie to yourself and me all you like, but we both know the truth. You’d gladly kill him a hundred times over, and us as well, as long as it meant his death in the end.”

“I…” Aquamarine stuttered, unable to come up with a proper response. “Okay. So you’re right about that. But we didn’t _hate_ you, we-”

“Again...it doesn’t matter,” Garnet said. “It doesn’t matter if you truly hate me or not. You still melted those fake Gems down thinking they were mine. It’s proof enough. Please don’t try to deny it any further, before I’m _not_ in the mood to go in circles with this conversation.”

“...”

“...”

“...What do you want from me?” Aquamarine asked. “I’m obviously not shattered or bubbled, so I’m assuming you have something else in store.”

“Correct,” Garnet said. “I’m here for information. I want to know everything that’s happened to you since you left Earth a few months ago. Where you and Ruby have been, _what_ you’ve been doing, _how_ you came across Mirror and their subordinate, and where they are now.”

“Mirror?” Aquamarine asked. “Do you mean the Captain?”

“...Yes,” Garnet said. “Your Captain. Now, you’re going to answer all of those. I don’t want you to leave out a single detail. I don’t care if it takes days, I want to hear it all.”

“Why?” Aquamarine asked. “I can assure you that there are moments that are literally of no use to you.”

“Maybe so,” Garnet said, and then she spoke in a voice that sounded like it was right in Aquamarine’s ear. “But after what you did, doing that might be the only way to convince me to not put you in a bubble forever.”

Aquamarine jumped back in surprise at the sound of Garnet’s voice, moving until she eventually hit a wall. No, a corner. All she had done was trap herself even further. She sank to the floor as she heard Garnet moving around, neither towards nor away from her, but more like she was pacing back and forth.

“I...I’m not telling you anything.” She announced. “You can put me in a bubble for all I care. You can shatter my Gem into a thousand pieces. But I won’t talk. Not now. Not ever. Anything you do to me is nothing compared to what my Captain will do if they find out that I told you anything about them. It’s not going to work, fusion. Do your worst.” 

A heavy sigh came from the darkness, followed by a few more footsteps. “That’s a shame,” Garnet said. “I was hoping that it didn’t have to come to this, but I suppose I knew it would anyways. Alright then. You don’t have to talk. But you _are_ going to watch this.”

“Watch what?” Aquamarine asked, and her question was swiftly answered then the wall on the opposite side of the room began to move toward the ceiling. But not like before with only a small section, no, this was the whole wall. More light came into the room and Garnet was revealed to be standing about ten feet away from her, and Aquamarine covered her eyes again to shield them. But when she finally got used to the brightness and took her hands away, she was greeted with a sight that was a thousand times worse than anything she could have imagined.

It was Ruby. 

Strapped to some sort of hand truck-esque device.

With a large mechanical arm hanging from the ceiling, with a thin needle attached to the end of it, aimed directly at her Gem.

“Here’s what’s going to happen,” Garnet said, before Aquamarine could even fully process what she was seeing. “You’re going to tell me where we can find Mirror, or the Captain as you call them, as well as everything else you know about _them_ specifically. If you refuse, we will shatter your partner right here, right now. And then we’ll move on to you. Peridot has designed a device that’s essentially a mini-destabilizer. It won’t be enough to poof you…” She explained casually. “...But it should prove to be extremely painful.”

For a moment, Aquamarine couldn’t move. If she had to breathe, she was sure that she wouldn’t be able to do that either. All she could do was stare at Ruby, who was now awake, looking back at her with terror in her eye. Her mouth was restrained with a metal clamp, but Aquamarine could tell that she was still trying to speak. Garnet waited patiently for her to respond, hoping that it was real enough for Aquamarine to believe her own eyes.

And luckily, it was, as a few words came out of her throat, sounding like she was both speaking and choking simultaneously.

“No…” She said. “You wouldn’t. You would never do something as cruel or callous as this. You’re the Crystal Gems. You fight to protect the Earth. You’re like...argh! You’re like the good guys!” She screeched. “This has to be a trick. You would _never-”_

“Yes, we will.” Garnet deadpanned. “You’re too naive if you think that. We fight to protect the Earth. But you fail to understand something. We protect the Earth at _any_ cost. No matter how cruel...or callous...or any other word you want to use to describe it. And your superior, Mirror, is a threat of which we know nothing about. He had already caused the cracking of several Gems and a major injury to a human. We have sworn to _not_ let that happen again, even if it comes to this. We are up against an unfamiliar enemy, and we need answers. And if this is the only to get them…if this is the only way to ensure everyone’s safety against this foe...” She sighed and gestured towards Ruby. “...then so be it.”

“Ple...please…” Aquamarine started, Garnet’s monologue now erasing any doubt that they fully intended on killing Ruby to get information. “Please don’t shatter her. Just take me instead! Just let her go and-”

“We can’t do that,” Garnet said. “You know we can’t. We know you have a ship somewhere, one is another thing we want to know by the way, and if we let her go then she’ll use it to escape and Mirror will come to Earth to save you.”

“Then let it happen!” Aquamarine pleaded. “You want them, right?! Just let them come to you! Problem solved. None of us have to die, and you get your big enemy! You can go back to being the good guys! No more of this torture and dark room nonsense!”

Garnet paused and appeared to think about this for a second, and Aquamarine suddenly felt a spark of hope. But a moment later, the fusion shook her head and put a finger to her ear, speaking directly into a device that was planted there.

“Peridot.” She said. “She’s uncooperative. You know what to do.”

After this, there was a loud whirring sound as the arm behind the transparent wall began to move forward, with the needle now only five inches from Eyeball’s head. Aquamarine screamed in horror and got to her feet, although Garnet quickly pushed her back to the ground, and the arm abruptly stopped about four inches from Eyeball’s Gem. The fusion then turned back to Aquamarine, who would be hyperventilating if she could.

“No! Don’t hurt her!” She begged. “She’s all I have now! There’s nobody else I can depend on, nobody else I can talk to! Please don't hurt her!”

“Then tell us what we want to know,” Garnet demanded. “Where Mirror and your ship is. Any weaknesses they might have that we can exploit. Everything you know about them. _Right now.”_

“I…” Aquamarine stuttered, the terror of the idea of what the Captain would do to them still clouding her ability to let loose with all her secrets. “I can’t-”

“Fine,” Garnet said. “Peridot. Finish her. There’s nothing else we can get out of this one.”

And with this order, the mechanical arm began moving again, Eyeball desperately struggling to escape as the needle got closer and closer to her. Aquamarine got up again and dodged Garnet’s attempt to knock her down, rushing over to the wall and pounding on it. She used every ounce of her strength, but try as she may, she didn’t make a single crack. The needle finally reached Eyeball’s Gem and slowed once it touched it, before it began spinning around rapidly like a drill.

“Last chance,” Garnet said from behind her. “You have about five seconds after I finish speaking to make your choice. Otherwise, it’ll be too late by then. Five.”

“Wha...umm...what about Steven?!” Aquamarine tried. “If he hears about this, then he’ll-”

“He’s not going to hear about this. Ever. We’ll just say we poofed you.” Garnet shrugged. “Four.”

“The Captain can hear all this you know,” Aquamarine said. “They have nanobots placed in almost every location on Earth designed to hear things related to them. I can assure you that they can hear this conversation, and if you shatter her then they will come here and destroy you all!”

“No, they won’t. We’ll be ready when they arrive. And while that is an interesting piece of information, it’s not what we want.” Garnet said. “Three.”

“Nononononono…” Aquamarine repeated, turning back to Eyeball. “Ruby! Quickly! Shapeshift! You can escape that way! That needle won’t be able to harm you if-”

“She’s not able to shape-shift,” Garnet revealed. “We placed something on her back, a device that locks onto her Gem and prevents her from accessing any of her abilities. She’s helpless, and she can’t even hear you anyway. And...two.”

Aquamarine started panicking so much that she couldn’t even speak at this point, quickly looking back from Garnet to Ruby before pounding on the glass again. The entire pane vibrated each time she hit it, but just like before she left no visible damage. She tried to attack it from every angle, even slamming her entire body into the edge of it where it was weakest, but she couldn’t make a dent. All the while Ruby squirmed more and more as the needle-drill was now only a millimeter from her Gem.

“One,” Garnet said, before turning away from the wall. Even if she knew the truth of what was going on here, even if she was aware that Eyeball wasn’t in any real danger, she still couldn’t watch what was about to happen. The fact that they were doing it in the first place made her sick...but what she had said earlier was the truth. Although even that...didn’t justify this. “Alright. Peridot, finish it.” She ordered, her voice shaking ever so slightly

With that, Aquamarine gasped in horror again as the drill started spinning even faster, and after so many agonizing, horror-filled moments, it finally made contact with Eyeball’s Gem. Instantly cracks appeared all across the surface as she screamed in pain, and Aquamarine’s eyes became as big as dinner plates as red shards flew everywhere.

She knew what she had to do now.

She only had a millisecond left to scream it out. 

She could either let Ruby die here, or doom them both at the Captain’s hand. Sacrifice her partner to save herself, or have it so that they died together.

The old Aquamarine would have chosen the first option without hesitation.

But now…

“STOP!” She screamed. “I'LL TELL YOU! I’LL TELL YOU EVERYTHING YOU WANT TO KNOW! JUST PLEASE STOP!”

“Peridot!” Garnet yelled, less than a second after Aquamarine made this announcement. The needle stopped soon after, moving away from Eyeball’s Gem and slowly down as the drill was shut down. Eyeball gasped a few times like she had an air supply that was cut off, and her form glitched rapidly as her fingers and legs became distorted. Her Gem itself was hardly the same, with a deep hole in it cutting about halfway through. Fragments of it were scattered all over the floor, and upon seeing all this Aquamarine realized that if she had said that only a nanosecond later, it would have been too late.

But she had no time to dwell on Eyeball’s condition, as Garnet came up from behind her, looming over the blue Gem with her arms crossed. If Aquamarine was looking at Garnet more closely instead of Eyeball, she would have noticed that the fusion was still shaking, already horrified with herself with what she just put the small blue Gem through. But she wasn’t, and thus this detail went unnoticed.

“Now then.” She said. “Tell us what-”

“Heal her first!” Aquamarine demanded.

“What?”

“Heal her!” She repeated. “I won’t talk until you fix her Gem. She’s already in a critical condition. Her form is falling apart at the seams. She may shatter by herself _while_ we’re talking, and I don’t want to take that risk! Heal her or you can just shatter me as well!”

“...You really care about her, don’t you?” Garnet asked, now putting on a slightly less serious tone.

Aquamarine scoffed and wiped some tears out of her eyes. “She’s all I have left now. I had nobody for months. She’s the only one I can talk to. If you kill her, then I’ll have no one.”

“...Hm.”

“What?”

“Nothing,” Garnet said. “Just...nostalgia. But fine. We’ll heal her for you.” She put her fingers to her ear again. “Peridot, send someone in with some of the fountain water to repair her Gem. She makes a good point. If she suddenly shatters while we’re asking questions, Aquamarine will likely refuse to answer any more.”

“Likely?! I definitely will!” Aquamarine yelled. “If she-”

“Quiet,” Garnet ordered. “Did you get all that?”

“Yes,” Peridot replied, whose voice was just barely audible to Aquamarine, but she was able to make out that her tone indicated that she hated all of this. “I’ll send Pearl down with some. In the meantime...I recommend you try to spark a conversation. A normal one. If she stops being so terrified of you, whatever secrets she'd be hiding might come out easier.”

“Understood,” Garnet said, before turning back to Aquamarine, who was busy staring at Eyeball with a weary expression. She cleared her throat and took another step towards her, so that they were now only a foot or so apart.

“What are you going to do with us?” Aquamarine asked, starting the conversation before Garnet had a chance to. “Once you heal Ruby and I tell you what you want to know, what are you going to do with us? Keep us down here in these cells forever? Bubble and stick us in that burning room with all those fusion monsters? Or just shatter us anyway? Which is it?”

“We’re going to figure that out,” Garnet said. “Especially after what you just told us about Mirror and those...nanobots. Was that a lie, or was it the truth?”

“It’s the truth,” Aquamarine replied. “They told us themselves, and I don’t see any reason why they would lie about it. It’s how they found out that you were talking about them. There’s…” She hesitated to speak before looking around, as if trying to spot something. “I’m not sure I should say this next part, actually. Or if I should even give you the answers in here. Those nanobots, after all, could be picking this up.”

“...When were they planted?” Garnet deadpanned, even though inside, she was freaking out about this little revelation. 

“Thousands of years ago. But they’ve survived that long, I know that much.” Aquamarine said. “And don’t try to convince me that they’re not in here. They’ve gone undetected by humans and you Gems for all that time, so don’t tell me you can magically start picking them up now.”

“Hmmm…” Garnet hummed, before raising her hand again. “Peridot. Are you getting all this?”

“Yes.” She said. “And I’m running a diagnostics test now on the inside of the room. If there’s anything in there that we don’t know about, I’ll find it. Just give me a few seconds and...there!” She exclaimed. “According to the test, there’s nothing in there except you two. I detected plenty of organic germs on the microscopic scale, but nothing mechanical in nature. If those nanobots truly exist...they're not here. You’re safe from any eavesdroppers.”

“Thank you,” Garnet said. “You can speak now, Aquamarine. We’ve confirmed that none of these...nanobots are present within this room. You can say whatever you want without consequence from Mirror.”

“I don’t think so,” Aquamarine whispered. “What did I tell you? These things have gone unnoticed for thousands upon thousands of years. Your Peridot hasn’t detected them before this very moment, and now you expect me to believe that she created a device that _can_ in no more than...what, the five minutes since I mentioned them?”

“Yes,” Garnet said. “She’s good with those sorts of things.”

“Well, it doesn’t matter. Pick someplace else.” Aquamarine requested. “A place that you can show me and I can approve of. A place that _I_ alone will believe carries no nanobots.”

“No. We’re doing this now. If there truly _are_ nanobots in here that Peridot didn’t detect, then they already know we have you and there’s no further point in trying to hide it.” Garnet said. “Tell us everything, or we’re turning the drill back on.”

“...She wouldn’t last one second more of that thing digging into her Gem.” Aquamarine gasped. 

“Then you better hurry up. Although speaking of which…” Garnet said, as she turned back towards Eyeball. Aquamarine did the same, a second later the wall in her cell opened, revealing Pearl carrying a bowl of water that was sparkling. Without even looking at them, she picked up the shards one by one and stuck them back in Eyeball’s head, who was trying to remain as still as possible once she realized what was going on. Once everything was in its proper place, Pearl simply dumped half of the contents of the bowl on her Gem, and instantly the cracks spread across and the glitching affecting her body vanished. Once all was said and done, Pearl left as unceremoniously as she entered, never casting a single glance towards the glass wall.

A moment later, the wall went black, and Aquamarine arched an eyebrow as she was surrounded by darkness again.

“What-”

“We’ll keep it like that until you become uncooperative again,” Garnet said. “To calm you down. Is that okay?”

“Yes...it’s...yes,” Aquamarine said, a look of confusion now spreading across her face. “But...that was weird.” The blue Gem then said entirely without emotion.

“What was?”

“The way she did that.” Aquamarine iterated. “She performed the task without taking any notice of us. Yet that Pearl of yours, the one I know, would have least acknowledged us in some way. But she didn't. She was like...like...like a Pearl!” She exclaimed. “Just a slave performs an order without paying any attention to her surroundings. It gave me an odd sense of deja-vu…”

“Yes, but we asked her not to react, and she agreed. Simple as that.” Garnet said. “Now, are you going to-”

“If I have no other choice...then yes.” Aquamarine sighed. “But when the Captain comes for me and Ruby, and he destroys half of your city, I just want you to remember this moment, and what you did to get these answers out of me. And...if it was worth it or not.”

“...”

“...”

“If you insist,” Garnet replied. “Now, before we begin, please excuse me for a moment, I need to have a talk with somebody.”

“I...fine,” Aquamarine said, noting that she was in no position to make complaints. “Just don’t hurt Ruby like that again.”

“We didn’t hurt her at all…” Garnet muttered under her breath, making sure it was much too quiet for Aquamarine to hear. She walked over to a corner of the room where the blue Gem wouldn’t be able to understand a word she was saying, and began speaking again. “Peridot. You can probably shut down the room permanently now. I don’t think it’s going to be needed again.”

“I sure hope so. I didn’t have that much time to program that many holograms.” Peridot said. “If we needed to show her that again, then she might have noticed it was the exact same thing…”

“Noted,” Garnet said, still sounding disgusted with herself. “Peridot...I want you to know that I didn’t want it to come to this. But my future vision-”

“Showed you that it was the only way, yes, I know, as you told me and everyone else literally _ten times_ before we did this.” Peridot sighed. “Trust me. I don’t think you're not horrified at what we just did. I feel like I’m going to vomit. Or at least I think I do...but I’m feeling _something_ that’s making me sick.”

“I know. I’m sorry I made you create those holograms.” Garnet said. “And I don’t think I need to come up with any more excuses. There’s really nothing I can say to excuse what we just put her through.”

“I agree, although what you mentioned about us _having_ to do it because we know nothing about Mirror or anything else was half-decent,” Peridot admitted, before sighing again. “Listen. I’m just going to delete these holograms and try to wipe my memory of this whole event. Hologram or not, _real_ or not, even if one of those is “hologram” and the other is “not”...I want you to promise me that we will _never_ go this far again.”

“I promise,” Garnet said. “I promise. I just...did what I thought had to be done.”

“Sure you did,” Peridot said. “Talk to you later...and good luck.”

Garnet was about to say “thanks”, but realized that it might be better if she didn’t. Rather, she remained silent until Peridot hung up, and then clenched both her fists.

Why did I have to come to this? 

Her future vision was almost never wrong, but had this _truly_ been the only way? She checked the future so many times to make sure...and after five hundred checks, it was always the same thing. So making what was easily one of the hardest and worst decisions in her life, Garnet decided to go through with it.

And she could only hope that it was all for something.

So she turned and walked back towards Aquamarine, who was still staring at the now blank wall, totally unaware that everything she had just witnessed was nothing more than a big trick.

“Alright, first question,” Garnet said, catching her attention. “Where is Mirror? You mentioned something about how they have a ship, so where are they in the universe?”

“I...I don’t know the exact coordinates.” Aquamarine said, after some hesitation. “We weren’t told any of that. I can’t tell you exactly where they are.”

“Then do your best,” Garnet demanded. “Were there any clues? Hints? Anything you saw outside of the ship they gave you an idea of where you _might_ be?”

“Well…” Aquamarine started. “There are two things. I knew that we were in close proximity to a quark star, and considering how few of those have been found by Gemkind...I believe that narrows down the possibilities.”

“Quark star?” Garnet asked, who actually knew nothing of the concept. “What is that?”

“It’s...hard to explain.” Peridot suddenly thundered in her ear, who was of course listening in to the whole conversation. “They’re nicknamed “strange stars” by humans. They’re composed of strange quark matter. You see, while ordinary matter is made of atoms, this matter is composed entirely of quarks, and theoretically if-”

“I don’t need a whole lecture,” Garnet said, whose Ruby side was beginning to grow impatient. “Are there any that Gemkind knows about? Assuming these things even exist?”

“Give me a minute…” Peridot said, and several loud typing sounds were heard on the other end. After a minute or so Peridot let out a loud hum and began speaking with a tone of intrigue. 

“There are five that we know about.” She said. “But they’re all extremely far away, the point where you could consider them to be on the edge of the universe, so there may be more out there that we haven’t found. In fact, I see it as a definite possibility.”

“This is still useful,” Garnet said, before looking back at Aquamarine. “Why were you orbiting that star?”

“For fuel.” She said. “I don’t know how, but the ship we were on pulled energy from the star and powered itself that way.”

“Interesting…” Peridot chimed in, now sounding like she was smiling widely. “I’ve never heard of anything like that. Hey, can you ask her how-”

“Later, maybe,” Garnet interjected. “I see. And what was the second thing you knew? You mentioned that there were two.”

“Um...that’s...it took a long time to get here,” Aquamarine said. “Even with our technology, it was several hours before we got to Earth. So wherever we were...I believe that we were likely millions if not billions of light-years away from this planet.”

“Hm. That matches up with the data we have on the stars.” Peridot said. “Edge of the universe. At least we know that’s not a lie.”

“At least…” Garnet echoed. “Alright, Aquamarine. Is that all you know about their location? It’s orbiting a strange star, and it’s far away from here?”

“Yes.” She said quickly. “Please, believe me, I don’t know anything else. If you run on that drill you’ll just be hurting Ruby to get me to talk about information I don’t have.”

“...Alright. But if we find out you’re lying...you get the idea.” Garnet said, who honestly didn’t want to put Aquamarine or herself through that again, even if it was fake.

“Yes, I know,” Aquamarine replied. “What else...what else do you want to know?”

“...”

“...”

“Everything.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, that was a rollercoaster. I know that the truth of what was happening was revealed pretty early on, but I thought it would be best if this were the case. Make sure nobody got the wrong idea. But this is an extremely important chapter. What happened in it will feature heavily down the road, such as the consequences, and what happens when you go too far, as Peridot said.
> 
> Not gonna be fun...


	30. Discord

“Garnet?”

“Yes?”

“Are we...bad for doing that? That whole thing with Aquamarine and Ruby? Was that a bad thing to do?”

“...”

“...Garnet? Are you-” 

“It was necessary. And remember, it wasn’t even real.” The fusion deadpanned, turning away from Amethyst as if she was ashamed. The purple Gem paused for a moment, before sighing and continuing to eat the bag of chips she had in her hands, which was her fifth of the day. She turned back to the table they had set up and sat down at it, trying to avoid looking at everyone else who had gathered.

It was meeting time.

Between Garnet, Amethyst, Pearl, Bismuth, Lapis, Peridot, and the Diamonds on a holographic display, overlooking them all. Everyone had a look of seriousness, knowing full well that now was not the time for foolishness. They had all gathered to discuss several things. First, the information they gained from the interrogation of Aquamarine and Ruby. Second, discussing what Steven told Bismuth and then the rest of them about his third experience with Pink Steven as well as Mirror’s takeover of the shelter’s PA system.

It was not something any of them were looking forward to. Especially considering the location they all had to gather in for this to be possible. The meeting was still being held on Earth, but the usual meeting room, held in Little Homeworld, could not be used because of Aquamarine’s claims that Mirror had thousands of tiny nanobots that could listen to every word they said. So they had to choose an alternative location. And this was what led them to the Forge. The _original_ Forge. Safe, secure, and after Peridot had run about five hundred diagnostics tests on the inside of the structure, she confirmed that it was clear of nanobots. When the forge was sealed up thousands of years ago, the bots were unable to get into it, and thus it was safe from them. 

But there was certainly an unpleasant mood in the air because of this. While Peridot, Bismuth, and Garnet thought the atmosphere was nothing short of peachy, everyone else, especially Lapis, felt like they were boiling alive after being in there for so long. Especially since it was being held in the deepest part of the forge, where the statues used for training once lay. And the Diamonds were displeased because of the “unceremonious” structure that they had chosen to gather at. They hadn’t said it out loud, but anyone could read it on their faces.

But again, this was necessary. They couldn’t risk anything at this point. If Mirror could take control of the speakers just like _that_ , then they didn’t want to figure out what _else_ they could hack into. Bismuth had literally torn the system out of the wall and threw it in a dumpster when she found out what happened, nothing short of livid that even her shelter, one of her most impressive and biggest constructions, had been infiltrated by the enemy. Amethyst thought she nearly saw steam come out of the bulky Gem’s ears when she got the news, and anyone with half a brain made sure to steer clear of her that day.

Of course, she had only shown this anger _after_ making Steven those pancakes and leaving the house, showing impressive restraint considering how unhinged she got when her temper got thrown out of whack. Steven hadn’t suspected a thing.

And speaking of Steven, he wasn’t here, as usual nowadays. He was at home while Greg was watching him, under the guise of teaching him a few songs on his banjo. The hybrid saw right through it; he did anytime they came up with an excuse to go to a meeting without him, but he accepted this nonetheless. What was he going to do after all? Complain? Get angry? The second he started showing any signs of frustration, he knew the Gems would be just waiting by the switch that activated the blast doors. It was one of the reasons he had purposefully turned himself into an emotionless shell. If he showed any emotion other than disinterest in everything, Steven feared that the Gems would become even _wearier_ of him.

Which was a situation he was hoping to avoid.

But enough about Steven for the moment. Back at the Forge, Garnet clapped her hands together with a _clink_ , and everyone snapped to attention. Anyone who wasn’t seated quickly did so, and all three of the Diamonds, on separate projectors, turned towards the fusion and respectfully waited for the meeting to begin.

For a moment, all was silent.

And then…

“Thank you all for coming,” Garnet said, as if they had a choice in the matter. “I have gathered us all here again to discuss some new revelations that have recently been uncovered. One that threatens us all and our security of the entire Earth.”

A faint murmur passed through all those present, knowing exactly what Garnet was talking about.

“Peridot.” She said, turning to the Green Gem. “Would you please explain the situation to us, in case anyone is not fully informed?”

“Of course,” Peridot mumbled, clearly not looking forward to it. “The nanobots. Approximately three hours ago, we discovered their existence. Trillions and trillions of microscopic machines spread across the entire Earth, recording everything auditory and presumably broadcasting it back to Mirror. Their presence was first claimed by Aquamarine, and backed up with several tests I took before this. I simply took a leaf from my greenhouse and inspected it more thoroughly than anything I ever had before.”

She gulped and briefly got a look of nervousness before continuing. “The results were...disturbing, to say the least. These machines are more than microscopic. They operate at the _atomic_ level, almost too small for any human or Gem microscope to detect. Almost.” She iterated. “I haven’t actually _seen_ them for myself, but I was able to detect them by putting the leaf in a containment chamber and scanning it for any signs of metal. And after five minutes of scanning the leaf's surface, going smaller and smaller each time, I found them. There were over _two million_ on the surface of that leaf alone.”

“Two million?!” Amethyst exclaimed. “How-how small _are_ these things?”

Peridot snorted. “Don’t be so impressed. A regular leaf of that size contains approximately more atoms than there are stars in the galaxy. Those machines are quite diverse, all things considered.” She sighed. “But since you asked, they are on the same level as quarks and gluons. And again, you shouldn’t be so impressed by this. Even _humans_ have created objects the size of atoms. This is very advanced technology, but not so advanced that we can’t come up with our own.”

“Uhh… _you_ seemed pretty impressed by it.” Amethyst pointed out.

“I said disturbed, not impressed. Simply by the idea that these nanobots have listened in to every conversation we have ever had and relayed them to Mirror.” Peridot explained. “Which unfortunately is-”

“I have a question.” Yellow Diamond interjected, her voice sounding like thunder in the compact room. “Are these nanobots located on Homeworld as well, or just Earth? Become if it’s the former, then it might be a threat to all Gemkind.”

“That’s unclear at the moment,” Garnet replied. “Aquamarine only said that they were on Earth. She never told us if they were placed on any other planets. Although I suppose it wouldn’t hurt to check.”

“And how...do we check?” Blue Diamond asked, placing her hands together.

“That should be easy,” Peridot said. “You can literally just grab a random object and scan it. As long as it’s not in an isolated place like the Forge, and there are nanobots on Homeworld, then you should be able to detect them. If you want, I can wait there and let you borrow the scanner, although-”

“That won’t be necessary.” White Diamond said. “I think we are fully capable of doing this ourselves.”

“If you insist,” Peridot said, shrugging. “But back to what I was talking about. Based on that leaf, I think it is safe to say that these machines are located on almost every biome and landmass on Earth. And just to check, I warped to over twenty different locations and collected a natural piece of the environment from each one. A rock here, a stick there, the first thing I laid my eyes upon. And the results were all the same. Nanobots. _Everywhere.”_

“By the stars…” Pearl whispered. “Do you know how long they’ve been on Earth? How many years have these things been recording our conversations?”

Peridot winced at this question and turned away. “I carbon-dated a large clump of them.” She said. “They’re approximately five thousand, three hundred, twenty-two years old. They’ve almost been here since the Rebellion. The fact that they’ve lasted this long... _that’s_ something that impressed me.”

More murmuring after this, much louder this time. Amethyst looked like she was about to throw up, Pearl started sweating and wiped a few beads off her forehead, Garnet stood in stoic silver as always, although her fists were tightly clenched, Bismuth was running her hands through her hair like she had lice, and Lapis simply looked at the ground, thinking to herself. The Diamonds were mostly unaffected, only waiting for everyone to get it out of their systems and for the meeting to continue.

“Is...is there any possible way to destroy them?” Bismuth asked, twirling her hair around in her fingers. “Not for the whole Earth, just maybe Beach City and Little Homeworld. Is that...even possible?”

“Funny that you should mention that…” Peridot said, before she turned to her right and grabbed a nearby box that she had placed there earlier. She undid the latches in them and opened it, before pulling out an object and holding it high above her head for all to see.

“...”

“...”

“Wow, a rock,” Amethyst said. “What’s so special about this thing?”

“It’s the nanobots on the rock that’s what’s important,” Peridot said. “Specifically that there are none. You see, this rock is from the crater that Steven created a few weeks ago during his outburst. I had grabbed it a half-hour ago to do some more testing with objects, and found that it was vacant of any of Mirror’s robots. I then conducted a similar test with over twenty samples from the crater, and they all had similar results: They were completely free of nanobots. There is not a single one located anywhere on its surface.”

“What does that mean?” Lapis asked.

“It means that Steven destroyed them all,” Garnet said. “He wiped the entire area in the crater and a few feet around it clean of any of these machines.” She adjusted her visors and stepped forward, taking center stage. “I believe that Steven’s abilities might hold the key to ridding Beach City, Little Homeworld, and possibly the rest of the Earth of the nanobots.”

“How so?” Amethyst asked. “I mean, we obviously can’t have him screaming everywhere. It might destroy those things, but at the cost of literally everything else!”

“Simple,” Garnet said. “Do you remember what happened to you before the explosion? Why Lapis had to carry you off?”

“Yeah, Steven’s pink aura or whatever screwed with the air and sucked the oxygen out of it,” Amethyst said. “But what does that have to do with this?”

“A lot, actually,” Garnet replied. “Early on, I believed that this oxygen-destroying ability of his was just him sucking in the air around him and destroying the oxygen molecules. But a few days ago Peridot and I conducted an experiment with the area that was hit with his aura. And we found out that he didn’t destroy the molecules. He somehow altered their structure so that it was no longer feasible for any type of organic life to consume it. He didn’t just make the air unbreathable. He bypassed the _very laws of physics_ in order to do this. One could say he practically _altered reality_ itself.”

“And what’s more…” Peridot said, stepping in front of Garnet. “Is that we still have no idea how he accomplished this. We know _what_ he did, but exactly _how_ is, again, a mystery. It’s like Garnet said. Steven has shown some surprising powers before, like his incredibly powerful healing abilities as well as the...pink state, as it is apparently called, but this is on another level. This is complete molecular manipulation, an ability that I thought no living being could ever possess.”

“Are you sure about that?” Amethyst asked. “I think we should back this up a bit. Hasn’t this whole molecule manipulation-”

“Molecular.” Peridot corrected.

“Yeah, whatever,” Amethyst said, waving her off. “But is this that much of a surprise to anyone? I mean, look at his healing powers, which you mentioned just a second ago. He healed Greg’s leg a few years ago. A broken bone mended in a second. He brought Lar’s back to life. Grabbed his soul out of the ether or wherever and forced it back into his body. And it’s not just living stuff either. He healed that teddy bear of his, and I’m sure he could repair basically anything else if he spits on it enough. Is all that...not molecule manipulation? Because for some of those things, he’s making new materials to fill in the gaps _out of thin air_. Like his healing willed them into existence or something. That’s...pretty powerful stuff, right?”

“...You are correct with that,” Peridot said. But I’ve taken many, many, samples of his healing spit and tears, and I...I…”

“I…?”

“...I don’t know,” Peridot said, prompting a small gasp from all present, awestruck to hear that phrase coming from Peridot. “His healing spit defies science itself. You’re right. When I healed a non-organic or Gem object with it, new atoms seem to sprout out of nowhere in order to form the material that will repair what I place the spit on. I’ve witnessed it thousands of times, and I’ve never gotten a clear answer.” She sighed. “As for his resurrection of Lars...putting aside the fact that there is no real evidence that these “souls” you speak of exist, I have not been able to replicate that ability. The tears do not work on any deceased insects or small animals that I have found in the forest. I believe that after a certain period of time, the tears lose their effect, unlike the saliva.”

“Why didn’t you just ask him yourself to bring them back?” Lapis asked. “If his tears only work if they’re...fresh, then couldn’t you bring them to him to heal?”

“I honestly didn’t want to,” Peridot said. “I feared that if I showed up carrying a dead animal, then he might freak out and start crying. And...um...I just didn’t want to bother him.”

“That’s not like you,” Pearl said. “I’ve seen you do things that would be considered suicide for humans and most Gems all in the pursuit of results for your experiments. Is that really why you didn’t ask him?”

“Um...moving on!” Peridot announced, suspiciously casting her gaze to the side. Pearl opened her mouth to speak again, but before she could the tiny green Gem beat her to the punch, seeming to be quite determined not to let anyone speak. “The point is that Steven likely had abilities that we aren’t even aware of at the moment. And I don’t think he is aware of them either. According to what he said, he wasn’t even aware of the aura he was putting out, so I believed it was happening subconsciously.” She looked over at Garnet. “You told me that the first time he activated his floating powers, it was by accident, yes?”

“That’s correct,” Garnet replied.

“I think this is the same thing,” Peridot announced. “His powers are still growing, and he’s discovering new ones by the day that he didn’t know he had before. And...they’re activated by themselves.”

“Or not,” Amethyst said. “What if that aura thing was the work of the two little voices in his head? His Gem half and the...Side thing? I don’t remember what it was called…”

“The Other Side.” Garnet iterated. “Apparently, the manifestation of the pink state that he created subconsciously so he’d have an excuse later on as to why he had all those outbursts.”

“Quite.” Peridot agreed. “But I don’t think it was the work of the entity he claimed to encounter. I think it was all him. His human half, I mean. I have no proof for this, but considering what he’s told us and how…Pink Steven didn’t flat out say that the Other Side was behind it, I think it’s safe to assume. So that’s that. Steven’s powers are likely growing to unprecedented levels, and we should keep an eye out in the future in case something like the oxygen-destroying effect happens again.”

There was a momentary silence after this, as if everyone was wondering where to go next. Finally, Lapis turned to the Diamonds, who had been silently observing the whole conversation without a single change in expression.

“Hey. You three.” She said. “Did Pink Diamond ever display stuff like this? Did you ever see her turn pink or get outbursts or...manipulate molecules?”

The three Diamonds glanced at each other, before White cleared her throat and spoke up, sounding slightly heartbroken.

“No, Starlight never displayed anything like _this.”_ She said. “She has her tantrums at times, but usually it was in private. Although I do remember that she managed to damage her first Pearl. And then I had to take it away from her. For some reason, she couldn’t bear to be around her any longer with that damaged eye.”

“Volleyball…” Pearl muttered. “So...it was her then. Pink-mean, Rose did that to Volleyball?”

“If by Volleyball, you mean her first Pearl, then yes,” Yellow said. “I remember how it was. Pink came to us carrying her Gem, saying that she did something “bad”, although she refuses to tell exactly what it was. When the Pearl reformed, she had that crack. Pink ran off and refused to see her again, so White took her and…” She glanced to the side and frowned. “...Anyway, that’s what happened. We never did find out how she accomplished that.”

“It seems we’re going to have to find out if we have any chance at making heads or tails of this power Steven has,” Amethyst said, before sighing. “Peridot, do you-”

“Actually…” Garnet interjected. “I think it would be best if we moved on to the next topic before we continue with Steven’s new powers. They were not even meant to be an actual part of this meeting, but they became one anyway.”

“My fault, sorry,” Peridot said. “I just like to ramble about stuff like that. I just wanted to make everyone understood the severity of the situation.”

“And I’m not condemning you for that,” Garnet replied. “But as I said, I think we should move on. To a topic that should be dealt with _before_ we run any tests with Steven’s supposed molecular powers. Agreed?”

No one spoke up, and Garnet took this as a “yes”.

“Good.” She said. “Now, on to the information we gained from Aquamarine and Ruby. We have a decent idea of where Mirror is in the universe thanks to this. The ship that they are currently located on is orbiting a strange star that is extremely far away from Earth, and in fact any other Gem-inhabited planet. They use it to power the ship, and thus we can assume that they cannot leave its vicinity. Or if they can, but they have to find another one quickly to refuel themselves. Any questions so far?”

“...Yeah, I got one. What the heck is a strange star?” Bismuth asked, a question that was shared by many around her, if the nods were anything to go by.

Peridot sighed. “It’s also known as a quark star.” She explained. “They’re...you know what, I’m not going to give out another physics lesson about these things. It was hard enough the first time, even for me. But what you need to know is that it is a special type of star that is very scarce. So scarce that Gemkind has only ever detected five of them across the entire _universe.”_

“Five?!” Bismuth exclaimed. “Across the entire…?”

“Yes,” Garnet said. “But this makes it all the more easier. This means that there are only five places they can be. And even if they’re not, and Mirror is near a strange star that we haven’t found, it still means there are only so many places they can be. Peridot estimated that based on the data from the five stars collected thousands of years ago, that no more than twenty should exist if their...pattern of existence is still following itself.”

“Only twenty places they could be…” Bismuth mumbled. “Well, that certainly makes this a whole lot easier.”

“Agreed.” Yellow Diamond said, before turning away from her screen. “Then I’m putting out the call right now. I’m going to have several of my former Gems pull out every available armed ship and weapon from deep storage, the few that weren’t destroyed at least, to form an armada to capture this Mirror. We shouldn’t wait a single second. It may be extreme, and Steven may not like it once he hears of it, but we can’t-”

“Hold on,” Garnet said. “Disregarding the fact that you have armed ships and weapons in deep storage that you _never told us about_ before now, we shouldn’t just blindly rush in. What was your plan if you managed to locate Mirror?”

“Simple,” Yellow said, turning back and crossing her arms. “Whatever ship they have, we overpower it with sheer numbers. All of the armed ships I mentioned have tractor beams that we can use to freeze their ship and prevent it from retaliating. From there we can tow it back to Homeworld and safely break it open to detain anyone who is inside.”

“...”

“...”

“Okay, even _I_ know that’s a bad idea.” Amethyst quipped. “Assuming the _entire_ first half of that plan goes correctly, I doubt that the Gems inside that ship are pushovers. The same goes for Mirror, considering what they’ve already shown themselves to be capable of from...what, _billions_ of light-years away? If you want to break into that ship and arrest everyone, you should probably have a small army at the ready.”

“We will,” Yellow said. “It will be the first time we have mobilized any sort of military group since the dismantling of the Empire. Again, Steven won’t be happy, but it is absolutely necessary this time. We don’t know what Mirror is fully capable of, and that’s why I’d rather not take any chances.”

“Actually, that’s why we need a new plan altogether,” Garnet said. “Yellow, your plan is simple. However, Mirror is not. Based on what I’ve seen and heard from Steven, I’m sure they have a hundred contingency plans in place the _second_ another ship, especially an entire armada like you’d bring, enters the system they’re located in. And even if they don’t, there’s something else we have to consider. According to Eyeball, they’ve been trouncing about Gem space for thousands of years undetected. The ship that brought her and Aquamarine here is of, at the moment, invisible. We moved it to a storage space in Little Homeworld, but at the current moment, we do not know how to open it or turn off its cloaking device. If I showed you a picture, there wouldn’t be anything to see.” 

She sighed and stepped forward, taking a pause after such a long dialogue. She wasn’t accustomed to speaking for such long periods of time, so Garnet needed a moment to collect herself before continuing.

“...So we can assume that their main ship, which is called _The Betrayal_ , has that same technology.”

Yellow scoffed. “Invisible doesn’t mean anything.” She said. “Plenty of ships in the past have had those abilities. Granted, usually only newer models and the ones made specifically for the comfort of the elite class…” She coughed. “...but this is nothing new. A simple scan should reveal the ship.”

“Eh...well, here’s the thing about that,” Peridot said. “We stuck the ship inside a chamber that could perform every type of scan you could possibly think of. And...it didn’t register. It was undetectable to everything. The only reason we know it exists is because we literally ran into it. Other than that…” She shook her head. “Long story short, we won’t be able to find Mirror that easily.”

“Wait.” Blue Diamond said. “The Aquamarine...you _did_ say she mentioned that their ship is using the star as fuel, correct?”

“Yes. Why?”

“Well…” Blue said, shifting back and forth. “They must be pulling energy from it using some kind of beam. It is possible you could link the scanner up to the energy outputted by the star and somehow use that to find _The Betrayal?_ After all, if it’s a beam, then the energy should appear as a thin line cutting through space, and wherever it ends...will be the location of _The Betrayal.”_

“That…” Peridot started. “...Is not a bad idea. I suppose we _could_ use that. However, we’d have to be extremely quick. If Mirror starts attacking us before we’ve located them, we stand no chance. Considering the cloaking technology they have, I don’t even want to imagine what sort of _weapons_ they might carry.”

“Agreed,” White said, before turning to Yellow. “So, Yellow, I think we need to...Yellow?” She hummed, now speaking with a certain tone of confusion. Everyone in the room turned towards Yellow Diamond, who looked frozen in place with an expression of shock on her face. It was like someone had snapped her mind.

“Yellow?” Blue tried. “Are you alright? Did something we say startle you?”

Yellow remained silent, only continuing to stare into the middle distance.

“Well, we broke her,” Amethyst said, before turning towards Pearl. “Now you owe me five dollars. You said that Blue would be the one to snap first during this whole crisis, but since it was Yellow like _I_ said, you-”

“That little…” Yellow interjected, her face slowly twisting into one of fury, a face that hadn’t been seen in years. “Mirror...they…”

“They what?” White asked. “Yellow, is there something you know that we are not aware of?”

“Yes…” Yellow hissed, before straightening herself as her features shook, clearly showing that she was attempting to contain her rage. “You should remember this, White. Thousands of years ago, I ordered my scientists to create a ship that was capable of bypassing any deep scan. A ship that I intended to convert into my own personal flagship. They created it, and it was magnificent. We ran hundreds of test runs, and each time it passed them all perfectly. But a little too perfectly, as it seemed, because _you…”_ She stuck an accusing finger at White. “...Ordered for it to be destroyed upon hearing about it. You claimed that it could fall into the wrong hands and pose a great threat to the empire.”

White stood still for a moment before a lightbulb lit above her head, causing her natural shine to light up the entire forge. “Ah, yes! I do remember now. But I had my reasons, Yellow. If it was captured-”

“Not _if,”_ Yellow said. “It _was_. By _Mirror_. That ship I designed is the one they are using. When you ordered for everything about the project and the ship to be erased from existence, I did as you were told. Deleted the files. Threw the prototype parts into a star. Even _shattered_ all the design staff and builders, who only ever did their job! But the ship itself…” She clenched her fists and looked away. “...It went missing. On the day that we were to start the process of melting it down, the entire ship simply vanished from the holding bay. No one saw it being boarding, leaving, and no sensors that indicated the bay door was being opened ever appeared. For all purposes, it was like that ship had ceased to exist.”

“...”

“...”

“Yellow…” White began. “Why didn’t you tell me about this?”

“Because I believed it had already been destroyed. There was no evidence that it had ever taken off, so I came to the conclusion that one of the Gems working there destroyed it without my orders. No one ever admitted to it, but it didn’t really matter, as I was _going_ to order it to be dismantled anyway.”

“Hold on, I’m a bit confused,” Amethyst said. “So the ship went missing before you sent the order out that called for its destruction, and you assumed someone got rid of it, but you didn’t care because it was going to be trashed anyway?”

Yellow nodded.

“Okay, but why would anyone do that _before_ you sent the order out?” Amethyst asked.

“Possibly out of fear,” Yellow said. “All the Gems working there knew what they were creating, and once or twice I saw them make...faces that showed that they were unhappy with their creation. Not because it was imperfect, but because of what it could do. What it meant. A ship like that could tear across an entire star system and destroy fleets of other ships with ease. It could raze planets and cause moons to collapse in on themselves. It was the most dangerous weapon ever created by Gemkind until I implanted the Cluster in the Earth a few thousand years back, and they knew it.”

“So you think someone betrayed you then?” Bismuth asked. “Tipped off White about it, knowing she would shut it down and then got rid of the problem themselves anyways?”

“Yes,” Yellow said. “I still don’t know who it was, but as I mentioned, it didn’t matter in the end. Those scientists are all long gone, their shards scattered throughout space.”

“...So the takeaway I’m getting from all this…” Pearl started. “Is that you built an experimental ship thousands of years ago, White ordered for it to be destroyed, Mirror somehow _stole_ it before you could do that, and had kept it up and running ever since along with their...crew of Gems that they picked up from abandoned colonies?”

“Most of that you deduced for yourself, but yes. That seems to be the end result of that project.” Yellow agreed. 

“If I may make a comment…” Blue said. “I think I may have a theory. I think it's obvious who Mirror is at this point, isn’t it? One of the scientists that worked on this ship, who stole it and assumed the “Mirror” alias. Yellow, I know you said you destroyed all the files, but if you have _any_ trace of the ones that contained who worked on that project, then we might-”

“Umm…” Bismuth hummed/interjected, causing Blue to stop short. “Sorry, but that theory is incorrect. We already _know_ where Mirror came from. And it isn’t that.”

“Really? Where?” Blue asked.

Bismuth sucked in her breath and then slowly let it out, as if pumping herself up. “Blue...Diamond, do you remember a Lab that you created thousands of years ago during the Rebellion? One that experimented specifically with...organic life?”

Blue was clearly taken aback by this, and she turned away from the screen, seeming to think about it. A moment later, still tapping her finger against her chin, she looked back at them, an expression of confusion/remembrance on her face.

“I believe so.” She said. “I greatly regret it now, but I was just trying to find out ways to make Pink’s little pets…ah, I mean, _humans_ immortal so she could have some playmates that were...more fit to her lifespan. But I don’t see what this Lab has to do with-” 

Blue then froze up again, as if she just realized something. Her previously confused expression contorted into a rather embarrassed one, and she facepalmed slightly as she finally caught on as to what Bismuth was trying to say.

_“Oh. I see._ ” She whispered, a dark glare cast over her eyes, one that looked almost anime-esque. “One of the test subjects from the lab...is Mirror, aren’t they?”

Bismuth nodded slowly. “According to Steven, at least.”

Blue sighed dramatically. “Well, at least that means the scientists I sent there achieved their original goal: Making an immortal organic.”

“Actually, I gotta question about that,” Amethyst said. “Sorry to interrupt, but after what you just told us, I feel like you were kinda...oblivious to what was really going on there.”

“What do you mean?” Blue asked.

“...Do you know anything about someone named The Traitor?” Amethyst asked. “The nickname for a human that was altered at that lab?”

“I don’t believe I do,” Blue said. “I got frequent updates on their progress, but they said that they had to destroy everything right before the end of the war, when we…” She paused and glanced downwards. “...Launched our final attack. But I very rarely learned the names of any specific test subjects. I told the scientists what to do, and that’s all. I never visited the place myself. I fully believed that those scientists were doing what I had sent them there to do. There was a reason I picked them for such a top-secret project after all.”

For a moment, everyone was silent, but then Lapis leaned back in her chair and chuckled. “Everything you sent them there to do and more.” She said. “I believe when I heard my friends describing this place, the word, “slaughterhouse” came up quite a few times. That place wasn’t just a lab. It was a death trap.”

“...Could one of you explain this to me in more detail?” Blue requested, who had that odd dark glare again. “Did things take place there that I wasn’t aware of?”

“Yes. _Very. Many._ ” Pearl said, standing up. “Although I’m not sure why the scientists kept it a secret from you, considering I don’t think you’d care back then, but to make a long story short, that Lab was more akin to, as Lapis mentioned, a slaughterhouse. Rose and I infiltrated it after the war was over. It was…” She shuddered and quickly sat back down like her legs were about to fail her. “...Even for the war, even for Gemkind, who had no empathy towards organic beings back then, it was shocking. According to the records, an average of two thousand animals were killed there every day, for no purpose other than the scientists wanting to see how long it took for Earth's life to die. They were drained of blood, prodded at, kept in cages, starved...and so many other words that I don’t think I feel comfortable with explaining here.”

“Animals?” Blue said softly. “I didn’t order them to capture any non-sentient beings. Humans only. They shouldn’t have-”

“They did,” Pearl interjected. “And speaking of humans, _that_ part is just a complete mess. Steven told us that Mirror told _him_ that hundreds were killed before any successful experiments, and those were only the ones he knew about. It could very well have been in the thousands. There’s no way to tell unless we get an eyewitness testimony from anyone who worked at that lab. And considering that all means Rose found there besides smashed equipment and thousands of notes was a literal carpet of Gems shards…” She muttered. “...I don’t think anyone is left.”

“By the stars…” Blue whispered.

“My thoughts exactly,” Peridot mumbled, before she turned to Pearl. “Although I have a question for you. A few weeks ago you mentioned all the notes you and Rose found, which were subsequently burned after you read over them. Shouldn’t those have contained this information? About the hundreds of humans? Because _Steven_ said you told him that the Traitor was the only ever human test subject. Yet this hundreds of humans thing doesn’t seem to surprise you at all. If you knew...why didn’t you speak up earlier about it?”

“It was for his sake,” Pearl said. “If I had told him that hundreds of humans had been kidnapped, tortured for weeks on end, and murdered in that lab, then he...would not have reacted well.”

“I _suppose_ that’s fair...but you still should have mentioned something to us, at least,” Peridot said. “But let me guess. It slipped your mind?”

Pearl made a guilty face.

“...Thought so. Okay, as fascinating as talking about that horror Lab is, think we’ve wasted enough time on this.” Peridot said. “We should be going back to what we were _originally_ talking about. Finding out how to capture Mirror once we figure out where they are.”

“Agreed,” Garnet said, who, like everyone else, was beginning to grow tired (and physically sick) of all the lab talk. She turned towards Yellow. “Yellow. Are you absolutely _sure_ that all the files from the project are erased? There’s nothing we can use?”

“Positive, unfortunately,” Yellow replied. “The idea of it being stolen was ludicrous at the time, so we didn’t think it would be necessary to keep any in the event that we have to defend ourselves from another Gem using it against us.”

“And the scientists are all gone? There’s no way we can _replicate_ the process?” Garnet asked.

“Again, yes,” Yellow said sadly. “It was like Blue with her scientists at the lab. I left most of the more complicated things to them, and I was only to receive updates on how things went in construction.  
And while I _have_ discovered a new ability to bring back shattered Gems by putting all their shards together…”

“Wait, wha-”

“...It would be impossible to find them now. We’d have to scour hundreds of light-years of empty space to find even _one_ shard. And even then, it’s unlikely.” Yellow sighed. “So yes, Garnet. We can not replicate the ship. At least not in time. Even if I _did_ order the project to be replicated from scratch with new engineers, it would still take decades, maybe centuries, until they were finished.”

“Well, that’s just great,” Amethyst said sarcastically. “Who are we going to do this then? Go in, guns blazing, hitting every single imaginable space around the strange star so Mirror has no chance to escape?”

“We’re not trying to _kill_ them,” Garnet said. “Again, capture. I suspect that _The Betrayal_ has a way to deactivate all of their nanobots onboard. If anything, we should at least do that before scuttling it.”

“Okay, but... _should_ we scuttle it?” Amethyst asked, causing all eyes to fall on her in suspicion. “I mean, this ship is made with stealth technology that can get past _any_ scan, right? What if some enemy from outside Gem territory, another space-faring empire, decides that they don’t like us and attack? We need to be ready, and that ship-”

“You just want to take a giant invisible and indestructible ship for a joyride, don’t you?” Pearl asked.

“...”

“...”

“...”

“I thought so.” Pearl sighed. “And while your point of another empire attacking us is...interesting, we would still destroy it. It’s too dangerous. The whole reason this is happening in the first place is because Mirror got their hands on it. If we don’t scuttle it, then we’ll just be repeating the same mistakes those scientists made.”

“I mean, they didn’t make any mistakes.” Amethyst pointed out. “They were _going_ to blow it up, Mirror just got it before they did.”

“Duly noted,” Garnet said, metaphorically stepping between them both. “But as we were _just_ talking about, we need a proper plan. One that has no chance of failure.”

“I have one,” Lapis said. “We’ve all come up with different plans. Yellow, you wanted a full-frontal assault to capture them. Amethyst, you suggested that we just flood the area they’re in with weapons fire until we hit something. So...I suggest _I_ do something that’s a bit of both.”

“How so?” Pearl asked.

“Easy,” Lapis asked. “Approximately 12 billion light-years from Earth, there’s a quasar. Surrounding this quasar is immense amounts of water vapor. Human scientists have estimated that the water there is over 120 _trillions_ times the water that is currently present in Earth's ocean. So...I could fly there, pick it up, flood the area that Mirror is in with, and then freeze it. I can detect where they are because of the hole _The Betrayal_ will make, and then we can chip our way through the ice until we get to them.”

“...”

“...170 _trillion_ times the size of Earth’s ocean?” Bismuth gawked. “I heard stories about how you lifted the entire ocean, even with your Gem cracked, but isn’t that…a bit much? Especially carrying it _all_ the way through space?”

“I won't need all of it,” Lapis said. “In fact, I don’t think I properly explained what I’m going to do. I should have worded that differently. I’m going to take a few oceans' worth and create an extremely thin wall of water...maybe a hundred million miles tall. I’ll spread it throughout the area the star is in, and when it hits something, _Mirror’s ship_ , I’ll move all the water to surround it and then freeze it in place.” She took a deep breath. “So...there you go. That’s my plan.”

“...”

“...”

“...”

“...”

“...”

“...Well, it’s a much better plan than I thought it would be. No offense, Lazuli.” Peridot said, finally breaking the awkward silence that had formed. “But...even so, are you capable of moving all that water that far? I know this collection of water vapor you’re talking about. And the nearest strange star, by my estimates, is still billions of light-years away. Are you sure you’re capable of handling this by yourself?”

“And won’t see you approaching?” Yellow asked. “The scanners on _that_ ship are incredibly advanced. They would pick up that mass of water moving towards them an entire _light-year_ away. By the time you reach them, it'll be too late.”

“Well…” Lapis said sheepishly. “Do you have any ships that can hold all that water?”

“For a few trillion _Earth oceans_ worth?” White said. “I don’t think so, no. We would have to use every ship in the galaxy, and even then it might not be enough. I’m sorry, but carrying all of it like _that_ is simply impossible.”

“Oh…” Lapis said softly, looking dejected. “Sorry, I thought-”

“No, it’s okay,” Garnet said. “Frankly, that was one of the _better_ plans that I predict we will come up with in the coming minutes. And, Amethyst, your plan to somehow blow up the star won’t work. I’m not even going to list the reasons _why_ , but it won’t.”

Amethyst crossed her arms and sunk into her chair after this, mumbling to herself like Garnet had just insulted her.

“Then who _does_ come up with a good plan?” Peridot asked. “I’ve got a few ideas, and I’m sure the rest of us do as well, but can you tell us _who_ exactly so we don’t have to waste time going through them all and pointing out their flaws?”

Garnet remained quiet for a moment, before sighing and shrugging. “None of them.” She said.

“What?!”

“None of them.” She repeated. “As of right now, I predict that no plan we come up with won’t have a significant number of flaws that could easily lead to it failing, most times before it even properly begins. We haven’t had the time necessary to think of something that’d work. We need...to think about this a little longer.”

“We might not _have_ that much time,” Peridot said. “Aquamarine and Eyeball are captured. Mirror knows this for sure. How long do you think it’s going to be before they stage another attack, another warning, another message that says, “don’t mess with me”?”

“I…” Garnet started, lightly gritting her teeth. “I’m not…”

“And what if this time they go for more than a good portion of Little Homeworld?” Peridot continued. “What if Steven is unable to hold them back at all? What if…” She hesitated to speak, like the words refused to leave her mouth. “...What if they don’t even go for him, and just come here personally? With that ship...they could take us all out whenever they wanted. We wouldn’t see it coming. Literally.”

“They’re not going to do that,” Garnet said confidently, starting to get annoyed at Peridot’s uncharacteristic frantic questioning. “Mirror isn’t going to do anything unnecessary like that. They know they can take us out at any time. They can, as you said. But they haven’t. I think there’s a reason for that.”

“They want to stay discrete.” Bismuth chimed in. “Right? Eyeball told us that they were only sent there to kill ten of us, _not_ the whole town, because they didn’t want to make themselves known. Heck, the whole _reason_ they were sent here in the first place, why _we_ were their targets, was because we’re the only ones who know about the Traitor! They want to keep themselves secret. Attacking like that, even with an invisible ship, would achieve the exact opposite of what they’re trying to accomplish.”

“Hold on,” Pearl said, putting her hands together. “This is starting to make less and less sense. Why would Mirror want to kill us for knowing about the Traitor? Steven claimed they said multiple times that they’re not _the_ Traitor, just a...mirror image. Why does it matter if we know about the Traitor? If Mirror had never interfered, they’d still be a mystery to us. And what’s more…” She moved her right hand up to her chin and stuck her up her forehead, a telltale sign that she was thinking hard. “...Killing all ten of us would only bring _more_ attention to themselves. Even if they somehow made the bodies and Gems disappear after the murders, that many of us vanishing in such a short time with no warning would raise dozens of alarms. Hundreds of investigations. And eventually, that would lead them back to the journal and the Traitor, and then only _more_ Gems would know about them by the time everything was said and done.”

“That makes...more sense than it should,” Peridot said. “But-”

“There’s still one more thing,” Pearl said. “One of their main targets was Steven. If Aquamarine and Eyeball had actually managed to eliminate him, then you…” She pointed around the Diamonds. “...Would tear your way across the galaxy in a blind rage, trying to find _The Betrayal_ , correct?”

“That-” White started.

“Yes.” Yellow finished. “I do think that is what we would do. Steven showed us to take better care of ourselves and our Gems, and without him…” She sighed. “...I don’t think many people would be able to talk us out of what we’d do next.”

“My point proven,” Pearl said. “So why kill Steven? They had to know that all of this would be an outcome. Nobody would know they existed, until they actually _killed_ everyone that heard of them, which would only lead to more...ah, I’m only repeating myself at this point.” She groaned. “But I’m sure you all understand? Was that all part of some bigger plan Mirror had, or are they not as intelligent as we thought?”

“Umm…” Amethyst hummed. “Am I the _only_ person who remembers what Mirror told Steven about Eyeball and Aquamarine? The dude literally said that they never expected them to succeed in their mission. That they only sent them to Earth to _get rid of them!_ This isn’t some bigger plan. They knew those two would fail from the very beginning. This was all just an elaborate way of doing it last.”

An awkward silence followed, confirming that yes, Amethyst had been the only one to remember that in the middle of it all, until Lapis huffed and smiled slyly.

“We’re getting nowhere with this.” She said. “We still don’t have a plan to deal with Mirror. All we’ve been doing is forgetting things and arguing amongst each other. As well as sharing information that all of us should know at this point. Is there any reason as to why we’re still in this room, instead of already out there, putting our hypothetical plans to work?”

“Yes.” Bismuth said. “Steven isn’t here, keeping us all on track. When we had these meetings before, trying to find out what was best for Little Homeworld and the remnants of the Gem empire, he always made them interesting, I guess. He made it so that we didn’t fall apart every five minutes. But without him here, we’re just switching from one topic to another, and I think we’re only realizing it just now.”

Amethyst groaned. “Are we _sure_ we can’t bring Steven here? Look around you! Even if he screams in here, nobody but us will get hurt, which is what we planned on! This Forge is made out of some of the toughest materials on Earth, and even _if_ that pink wave gets through it, we’re in a volcanic area with no human settlements for dozens of miles. The odds that anything bad is going to happen to anyone besides us is...really low.”

“I don’t know about that.” Bismuth said. “You’re right about the Forge being secure and far away from anyone else, but I’m more worried about what might happen to _him_ if he screams. If that happens, then the force could cause the ceiling to collapse in and he might be crushed under tons of solid rock and lava. Not a good outcome.”

“I’m pretty sure he could punch a mountain in half when he turns pink, considering that he told us he thrashed Jasper around like a rag doll anytime he did so when they fought.” Amethyst pointed out. “I think it’s going to take more than a _ceiling_ to hurt him.”

“Even so, he could suffocate down here,” Pearl said. “Or die of dehydration. The heat is-”

“Magic bubble. He survived the vacuum of space with that thing for hours.” Amethyst said. “And if the cold of space didn’t get through that, then the heat from this place isn’t either.”

“...Okay, I think this has gone on long enough,” Garnet said, taking center stage. “We’re not bringing Steven down here, and we’re moving on to the next topic. And this time, nobody talk about anything _but_ that topic. We’re all burning alive in here and irritated with the Mirror problem. The last thing we need is more fighting amongst ourselves. The _last_ meeting proves that that gets us nowhere.”

Everyone in the room suddenly shrunk down at this reminder, remembering full well the events of the last meeting. Things had turned hostile pretty quickly after Pearl suddenly broke down crying, and they eventually got in a giant argument over who’s fault it was. It kind of hit its peak when Bismuth was accidentally shoved into one of the nearby lava pools, causing everybody to stop what they were doing and freeze like statues.

She was fine, of course, but the incident brought an unofficial end to the meeting, one that was preceded by fifteen minutes of them all standing around in silence and taking a look at themselves, which followed right after Bismuth climbed out of the pool. After all, if it had been anyone else, minus Garnet, then things could have ended badly. Tensions were already growing high, and someone dying with no hope of being brought back would only escalate their problems.

“What happened at the last meeting?” All three of the Diamonds asked, who had been absent.

“Not your concern,” Garnet said. “But can we all stop now? I don’t want a repeat. And trust me, if we keep going in like this, we _will_ have one. And I can’t say for certain whether it’ll be a lava-proof Gem or not.”

“...”

“...”

“...We need Steven’s opinion on all this,” Pearl said. “We’re never going to get anywhere. It’s like Bismuth mentioned. Without him keeping us together, we can’t hope to accomplish anything like this.”

“Yeah. Or Connie.” Amethyst chimed in. “Sucks that she can’t come here anymore. Even with Steven gone, it’s her she’d find a way to calm us all down. She had a way with words sometimes.” She glanced over towards Garnet. “And speaking of which, will her mother _ever_ let her come back? Or even see us again, for that matter.”

“I’m not too sure about that,” Garnet said. “See us again, most likely. But letting her come back to these meetings, as well as anything ahem related that could be dangerous for her...I have to wait and see what her reaction to us is when she sees us. I can’t see too far ahead when it comes to that at the moment.”

“Fantastic,” Amethyst said, before getting up. “Okay, you know what, I’m going to Steven to get his advice on this. We shouldn’t be squabbling over this kind of stuff. We may not be able to have him here physically, but I’m going to do what we _should_ have done from the very beginning: Buy a laptop so he can use _his_ to allow him to be in on these meetings. He can do a video-call thing like the Diamonds are doing. I have no idea why we haven’t done this before.”

“Because he’s banned from using any electronics.” Garnet reminded her, hardly able to believe that she had to remind Amethyst of this _again_. “We can’t take any risks. Not one. The incident with the speaker system proved once and for all that Mirror could take them over and-”

_“Fine.”_ Amethyst seethed, clearly getting fed up with that rule. “Then I’m just going to get his advice on what he thinks we should do to capture Mirror. I’ll be back in a bit. And please no one try to stop me. This is the best idea anyone had come up with at this meeting, and so I’m going to do it.”

With all that said, Amethyst jumped straight in the air and flew through the hole in the ceiling that led to the upper Forge, disappearing into it. Several footsteps were heard coming from above, until they faded as the purple Gem left the vicinity. 

“Well.” Bismuth said, putting her hands together.

“Well?” Peridot echoed.

“Well.”

“...We really need Steven back.” Lapis sighed. “I know I’ve said that every meeting, just like Garnet has had to remind Amethyst of the no electronics rule every meeting, but this time I really mean it.”

“You say that every meeting too.” Bismuth mumbled.

“True, but this time…” Lapis started, before groaning. “This has just been a disaster from start to finish. We’ve accomplished nothing in the...what, half-hour we’ve all been sitting here? We talked about Mirror a bit, a few words about those nanobots, some suggestions to fix our problems which were quickly shut down, a conversation about that Lab which went on for _far_ too long, and now Amethyst has left to ask Steven a question I’m sure even he doesn’t have the answer to.”

“Yes, we know. We were here.” Peridot said, taking a chair and flopping herself in it.

“That’s not what I meant.” Lapis sighed. “I feel like our general mood has deteriorated more and more each time we come here. Except for yours, somehow.” She said, pointing towards the Diamonds. “You haven’t changed much. I feel like you’d be more concerned about all this instead of constantly wearing those blank faces and using those monotone voices, considering that Steven is the only thing you seem to care about nowadays.”

“That is _far_ from true,” White said defensively. “We don’t just care about Steven. We care about _all_ our Gems now. When they come to us with a problem, we help them with whatever it is. It’s our…” She paused and looked towards her fellow Diamonds for assistance. “What would Steven call it?”

“Our thing?” Yellow suggested.

“Ah, yes, there it is,” White said. “It is our “thing” now. We may be worried about Steven, but we haven’t forgotten about everyone else.”

“I never said you did,” Lapis replied. “I only…only…” She then frowned and waved White off. “You know what, nevermind. It’s painful enough having you three at these things. I’m not in the mood to have a full conversation.”

“What’s _that_ supposed to mean?” Yellow asked.

“You know exactly what it means,” Lapis said, resting her chin on her wrists.

“Why…” Yellow started. “If Steven were here, I’m sure he would comment on how-”

“Can we _not_ start this again?” Bismuth pleaded. “Please? The last time this happened it almost turned into a full-on screaming match. Steven may not be here to help us prevent that from happening, but can you all _not_ be at each other’s throats for maybe five seconds.”

“I do not wish to cause any hostilities between us,” Yellow stated. “Steven would not approve of it.”

Garnet, sensing that Lapis was about to make another off-handed comment, quickly stepped in and spoke up.

“I think what Lapis is trying to say is that we need to be better.” She announced. “And not just for Steven, Yellow. For all of us. The Gems of Little Homeworld are looking up to us to help them at the moment. There’s a reason we were all chosen to be the main governing force behind it, after all. If they saw us right now, arguing like this, taking place in this absolute mess of a meeting that would be hell if we had a stenographer, what do you think they would say?”

“...Well…” Peridot started. “I think-”

“Hey!” A sudden voice said, and they all looked upwards to see Amethyst standing at the top of the opening, overlooking them all. She remained there for a moment before jumping down, almost landing on top of Pearl in the process.

“Good, you’re back,” Lapis said, almost in an enthusiastic manner. “Maybe we can finally get something accomplished. This meeting is taking so much out of me that I’m starting to talk out-of-character.”

“You’re speaking for all of us there…” Garnet noted. “But, Amethyst, what did Steven say?”

“...Uhh...there’s a bit of a problem with that,” Amethyst replied, after some hesitation.

“What is it?”

“It’s Steven.” The purple Gem said. “He’s gone.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, this was probably a bit of a boring chapter, a lot of talking and back and forth arguments, but things will get interesting again. Soon enough, Homeworld will be the main setting for the next arc, where we'll see more of the Diamonds, and everyone's favorite pink jester. Fun times.


	31. Denial

Steven couldn’t take it anymore. 

He didn’t know how much longer he could wait to act.

But he knew that if he _didn’t_ , then things might take a turn for the absolute worst.

But first, let’s back this up a bit, before things get even _more_ confusing. (Assuming that’s even possible.)

So, it was after Bismuth had baked the pancakes, the one that was reputed to taste like cookie-cats. It took over three attempts, but eventually, Bismuth managed to cook it to the point where it was only _slightly_ burned. Steven dug in, tried not to throw up, and then forced himself to eat the rest of the thing while smiling like a crazed lunatic, which was good enough for the bulky Gem. After finishing the whole thing (and silently cursing Pearl for giving the recipe to Bismuth), Steven tried to go to the bathroom, fully intending to puke the pancakes up as silently as possible before it forced him to via food poisoning. Unfortunately, Bismuth wasn’t having that, and tried to spark up another conversation.

And you can imagine how well that went.

“So...what did you think?” She asked, giving him a smile that was all teeth. “I know it took me a couple of tries, but I think I really did good, all things considered!”

“It was...good,” Steven mumbled, tapping his fingers against the tabletop. “It didn’t taste _entirely_ like cookie-cats, but the underlying...sweetness was there. I’m sure no one could have done better.”

“Ah, thanks.” Bismuth said, rubbing her hands over her hair. “But I’m sure _Pearl_ could have done better. I just wish she was here. I’ve actually been taking a few baking classes recently, which I think is why she asked me to do this for her, but I could have still used her help.”

“That’s for sure,” Steven whispered, before coughing dramatically. “Yeah...maybe. But I didn’t know you were taking a cooking class. Why didn’t you mention that earlier?”

“Well, we were just discussing other things.” Bismuth said. “And besides, if I told you about _every_ class that I was taking at the moment, we could sit here chatting about them for hours!” 

She then laughed, and Steven awkwardly went along with it, doing his best to fake a chuckle or two. After Bismuth calmed herself down, the two remained silent for a moment, before the Gem gave him an equally awkward smile and opened her mouth again.

“I _really_ need to shape up with my cooking skills, huh?” She asked rhetorically. “It’s okay, Steven. I get why you’re lying about it. I just wanted to do something nice, you know? Just the two of us.”

“Huh?” Steven said. “What are you talking about?”

“The whole pancake thing.” Bismuth said, shaking her head and grinning. “You don’t have to hide it from me that it was terrible. The look on your face every time you took a bite was proof enough of that.”

“What? No, Bismuth, I loved your-” Steven started, before Bismuth tilted her head and stared at him with a thin smile. The expression on her face said it all, and Steven’s voice died in his throat and then he sighed in both exhaustion and relief, secretly overjoyed that he didn’t have to pretend he liked the pancakes anymore.

“Okay. I admit it.” He said. “The pancakes were terrible.”

“Yeah, I thought so…” Bismuth replied. “Sorry about that. You didn’t have to eat the whole thing, you know. If you didn’t want it, I would have understood. And besides, I’m sure Amethyst would have loved it. She does seem to be eating a lot nowadays…”

Steven winced and leaned back in his chair. “Oh...you noticed.” He said. “In case you’re wondering why half our fridge was empty, it’s because of her. Everyone’s dealing with the stress of Mirror and another explosion in their own way, and Amethyst’s...is eating. A _lot.”_

“Ohhhh…” Bismuth said, before glancing at the ground, almost in shame. “Yeah. I understand. Peridot and Lapis are taking it hard as well. Peridot spends all day cooped up her house, working on those devices that she says can help us beat Mirror. Each time I ask her about them, she says they’re almost done. But to be honest…” Bismuth shook her head again and took a seat. “...I think half of the time she didn’t even work, just thinking to herself. Even when things were normal, I couldn’t even imagine what kind of crazy things she could be thinking up at any given time. And now...well, I shouldn’t even bother trying.”

“Well, at least that’s better than what Pearl is doing,” Steven said. “She spends all day in her room as well, although I think she does things that are a lot more...concerning. I tried visiting her once, after she stayed in there for _three days straight,_ but I just heard sobbing sounds.” He shivered as if a cold wind had just passed through. “That was proof enough for me that she was taking it hard as well. And when I asked Garnet about it, she just said that she hadn’t seen Pearl like this ever since...since…”

“Since Rose disappeared?”

“...Yeah,” Steven said softly. “Exactly that. Which sucks, because according to her, it took _months_ for Pearl to get over it. And even then, it was a few years before the smiles she had when Rose was still around came back. And...I think she’s reacting this way because she’s worried that she’s going to lose me too.”

“We’re _never_ going to let that happen.” Bismuth said, in a much more serious tone. “Even if Mirror comes to Earth and shows their ugly face in person to steal you away, we’ll defend you down to the last Gem. No matter what.”

“...Thanks,” Steven said. “But I don’t want you all to get hurt because of me. If Mirror does come to Earth for whatever reason, I’m not going to let you sacrifice yourselves in my place.”

“Steven, you know you don’t have a choice in that matter.” Bismuth said. 

“...”

“...”

“...Okay.” He said, not sure what else to say to that. “But now that I’ve told you about Pearl...what’s Lapis been doing? You said both her and Peridot are taking it pretty hard. What’s she doing nowadays?”

“Ehh…” Bismuth said, rubbing the back of her head. “She’s been painting a lot. She spends all day in that art studio, just pumping out painting after painting. Sometimes they’re the same thing over and over, and sometimes they’re...odd. Disturbing, almost. I want to tell you what she’s been making on those canvases, but I don’t think I can. Not because I think she’ll get mad at me, but because…” Bismuth looked away and blew some hair out of her face. “...I don’t think I _physically_ can. You know what, just imagine ten different cans of paint splattered onto a canvas at random. That should give you a decent idea.”

“Yeesh.” Steven winced. “Well, at least that’s not hurting anyone.”

“Speak for yourself.” Bismuth said. “I locked her out of her studio once, and then I found her five minutes later painting on the _side of a building_ using her water wings. Big mistake doing that, let me tell you. I don’t know what kind of special paint she uses, but it took hours to scrub off.”

“For the love of…” Steven started, leaning back in his chair and facepalming. “Please don’t tell me she was whispering obscure things while doing it. Because I’ve seen that happen in movies before, and I’m pretty sure it’s a sign of mental instability.”

“Uh...I don’t know anything about any whispering, but when I asked her what she was doing, she said she was making “poetry”.” Bismuth replied.

“Okay, I’m putting a stop to _that,”_ Steven said, who didn’t like any of what he was hearing. “Bring Lapis here. No, you know what, being everyone here. I’m not having them turn insane because of me. I’m solving this right now.”

“Gems can’t turn insane, Steven.” Bismuth said. “At least, that’s what Pink Steven told you, right? I _distinctly_ recall you telling _us_ that he told _you_ that being a Gem means-”

“Yes, he didn’t say something along those lines,” Steven admitted. “But still. This isn’t healthy. They may not go insane, but their anxiety may only get worse.” He stood up and huffed. “What if Peridot takes apart power lines and generators for her projects? What if Lapis floods the town in an attempt to create her “poetry”? What if Amethyst becomes a thief and steals from the local grocery store?” He asked towards no one in particular. “At this rate, that’s what’s going to happen. And I’m _not_ going to stand by any longer and watch my friends tear themselves apart!”

“...Wow.” Bismuth said. “Okay then. I’ll go get Lapis and the others. But what exactly do you plan on saying to them? Most of their anxiety is about _you_ after all. They’re worried that Mirror is going to take over your mind and harm you. And after Aquamarine and Ruby...well, I think I can speak for _all_ of them when I say that they're more worried than ever.”

“Doesn’t matter. I’m still taking care of this. I-” Steven started, before a loud ringing sound interrupted him. The two of them looked at the house phone attached to the wall, the only phone left in the house after the day Steven had all his electronics taken away. Bismuth looked at Steven, who shook his head in response. Bismuth nodded back before walking over to the phone and answering it, with a grim expression on her face.

“Uh-huh…” She said. “Right now? But in the middle of…...oh, that important? Wait, they’re all going to be there? All three of them…...okay. Alright then. I’ll be there as fast as I can…...yes, you can use it. Alright. Bye.”

She then placed the phone back in the older before sighing and glancing back at Steven, who was frankly expecting the worse.

“Okay, I have to go.” She said.

“Why?” Steven asked. “Another meeting?”

“Yeah…” Bismuth said. “I’m really sorry about this, Steven. I’d love to talk more, but apparently, it’s urgent.”

“Well, I do imagine you guys would have a lot to talk about after getting all your answers from Aquamarine and Eyeball...” Steven mumbled. “I still don’t see why you can’t just have me on a video chat for these things. I know Mirror could hack into them, but come on. Sometimes this just feels ridiculous.”

“You and me both.” Bismuth said. “But I don’t have a say in it this time, unfortunately.” She then turned and started walking towards the warp pad, stopping when she was on top of it. “I’ll come back later so we can finish what we were talking about. Is that okay?”

“Of course,” Steven said, before deciding that he didn’t want to end this whole thing so depressingly. “But make sure to improve your baking skills.” He chuckled.

Bismuth laughed in response, giving off the exact reaction that Steven had hoped for. “I’ll try, Steven. See you later.”

And with that, Bismuth warped away in a flash of light, leaving Steven all alone again. He turned back to his plate and the now empty plate, before picking them both up and carrying them over to the sink. He washed them and then set them in the drying rack, before slogging over to the couch and laying down on it like a sack of potatoes.

“Note to self.” He said. “Only ever let Pearl or yourself cook things for you ever again. Lest you throw up and-”

Steven then paused and recalled why he had almost fled the whole pie scene in the first place, and he was about to get up and run to the bathroom, before _another_ ringing sound came from the phone, causing him to stop short. He cautiously approached it after a moment's hesitation like it was going to blow up, and then grabbed and answered, fully expecting it to be a simple telemarketer or something of the sort.

But it wasn’t a telemarketer. Rather, it was a voice he hadn’t heard in weeks, as well as one he thought he might never hear again.

“Steven?”

At the sound of this voice, the hybrid sucked in his breath, not sure if it was containing a shriek of excitement or fear. Because the owner of that voice was _Connie_. It was rather hoarse, like she had just woken up with a bad taste in her mouth, but it was still unmistakable. Steven almost dropped the phone out of shock, and it took every bit of willpower he had to respond with just one word.

“C-Connie?” He replied, his voice trembling to the point where he thought it might be inaudible.

“Oh, it is you!” Connie said. “Sorry, I thought that it might have been someone else. I heard that you were banned from using any electronic devices for some reason, so I wasn’t sure if you were allowed to answer the phone or not…”

“W-what?” Steven sputtered, fear now overridden by confusion at how nonchalant Connie sounded. He had expected her to resent him and insult him for letting this happen to her the second she found out it was him. But she didn't. There wasn’t a hint of anger in that tone. Rather, she sounded...relieved? 

“Did I say something wrong?” She asked. “I can call back later, if that’s fine. I just wanted to talk to you…”

“Wha-no!” Steven said quickly. “No, no, right now is just fine! I have nothing going on! We can have a conversation all day long, if you want!”

“...”

“...”

“...Why are you acting so nervous, Steven?” Connie queried, sounding concerned for him. “Did something happen recently that I don’t know about? Is everything okay?”

“What the...what are you talking about?!” Steven asked. “What do you mean “did something happen recently”? Of _course_ something happened! Why are you...how…” He stuttered, half-expecting for this to be a dream.

“Okay, you’re starting to freak me out!” Connie said. “God, you’re sounding just like my mom when I first woke up! I asked a bunch of questions, and then she started freaking out and crying before leaving the room! I haven’t even seen her since! I asked some of the other doctors, and they say she’s...not ready to face me?” She scoffed and sounded like she had turned away from the phone. “I don’t know. It’s weird. Everyone is acting weird here, Steven. And now...you are too! And nobody will tell me what’s going on! Or at least...not fully.”

“...Hold on,” Steven said, as he began to get a terrible sinking feeling in his stomach, mass confusion filling his head as he tried to make sense of Connie’s words. “Connie. Where are you right now?”

“At the hospital.” She answered. “Same place I’ve been for two weeks.”

“Okay...do you know _why_ you’re there?”

“I got a head injury?” Connie replied, saying this like she already expected Steven to know. “A pretty bad one, if the x-rays they showed me are anything to go by, but I think I’ve been healing up pretty quickly. Getting all those stitches out was a pain though…”

“...I see,” Steven said softly, praying to god that his assumption as to what was going on was incorrect. “Connie...what’s the last thing you remember? Do you know _how_ you got that head injury?”

“Uh...not really.” She said, almost making Steven throw up right then and there. “The doctor told me that I was hit with a piece of rock, but apparently, my mother requested that they not tell me the full story, which is _really_ annoying. As for my last memory...I think I recall reading a book in my room. But anything after that is a blur. I can’t remember any of it.”

“...”

“...”

“Steven?” She said. “Are you okay-”

“I...give me a second,” Steven said, before setting the phone down on the counter and rushing over to the sink. Then, just like he had planned a short while ago, Steven grabbed the sides of it and vomited up the entire pie, burning the back of his throat and making what could only be designed as an absolute mess. This continued for a few seconds, before he finally stopped, panting for air, and trying to spit out the horrible taste that now permeated his tongue.

“No…” He whispered, as the ramifications of what Connie said continued to him at full force. “She can’t be...she lost her…” The word “memory” danced on the edge of his lip, but he couldn’t bring himself to say it. Nevertheless, he still _thought_ it, and started dry heaving again as he realized what this meant. 

When had that last study session been? A week ago? A month ago? _Several_ months? Just how far back had her memory been damaged? And could she ever get it back? Steven wasn’t an expert on how the brain worked, and he had no idea if his healing spit could bring back lost memories. The gash on her forehead, most definitely, but something as complex as that…

Well, he had no idea what might happen.

But even so, now was not the time to think about that. Connie was still on the line, and had problems heard him throw up, so it would be best if he went back to her as soon as possible before she started worrying even more about him. He turned on the sink and washed his mouth out before washing the remains of the pie down the drain, almost hurling again from the mere sight of it. Afterwards, he grabbed the phone again and prepared himself for the incoming conversation, not sure if he was going to be able to handle it or not.

“Okay. I’m back.” He said. “Sorry about that, Connie.”

“...Are you _sure_ you’re okay, Steven?” Connie asked. “I’m pretty sure I heard some gagging noises from your side of the line…”

“Oh, yeah, I just ate something earlier that I guess made me a little sick…” Steven replied, which he was sure _would_ have become true if the whole vomit session hadn’t just happened. “I just had to step away from the phone for a second.”

 _“Ohmygosh_ , are you okay?!” Connie asked frantically. “Again, if this is a bad time, I could call back later on, and if you’re really feeling sick, then I don’t think-”

“No, I’m fine,” Steven said. “You don’t have to worry about me. I’m all better now. I just...needed a little healing spit to make me better.”

“You needed a little _what?_ ” Connie asked. 

“Healing spit.” Steven iterated, still internally freaking out at the amnesia revelation. “Is...your hearing okay? I mean, if it’s not, then I can speak up but I might sound a bit-”

“My hearing is fine...I think.” Connie interjected. “It’s just that I don’t know what you’re talking about when you say “healing spit”.”

“...”

“...”

“W-what?” Steven stuttered, the words from his mouth only coming out half-formed. “You...you don’t…”

“Don’t what?”

“I...give me a minute. _Again_.” Steven said quickly, and for the second time he set the phone down and ran over to the sink, gagging dramatically. There was nothing left for him to throw up thankfully, but he could definitely _feel_ that his body was trying to. The sudden spark of nervousness had sent his brain into overdrive, and then sent that nausea directly towards his stomach.

And that was only what happened the first time. But now, when Connie has so unceremoniously revealed that her amnesia stretched all the way back to _years_ ago, Steven thought he might vomit up his internal organs. His best friend, _girlfriend_ , who didn’t even see herself as such anymore, had been given a case of years-long amnesia because of _him_. He knew she had been hurt. He knew what had happened and he cried himself to sleep most nights over it.

But now, Steven wasn’t sure if he could ever get sleep again, knowing that Connie was in the hospital, her memories of almost everything Gem related gone via his own reckless actions.

He gagged a few more times, and then stopped when he heard Connie talking again, the same concerned tone in her voice from the last time he did this.

“Steven! Steven, pick up!” She demanded. “Are you okay? Please pick up and tell me you’re okay!”

Steven started at the phone for a second before gulping and grabbing it with a trembling hand, one that was shaking so much that he almost dropped the device. He raised it back to his ear as he pinched his forearm with his other hand, silently begging to wake up from this nightmare.

“I...I’m okay.” He said. “Sorry, I guess that sickness from earlier came back.” He then chuckled lightly, which was so fake that it would make a clown die on the spot if they heard it. “But I’m good now. I’m good, Connie. I’m okay. I’m fine.”

“You don’t _sound_ okay,” Connie said, before sighing. “Alright. Something is clearly going wrong. My mom won’t talk to me or even show up to my room. The doctors won’t tell me what happened. I have no recollection of anything beyond reading that book. And now when I call you, when I _finally_ manage to sneak away from my hospital room because I want to talk to _someone_ that won’t act weird, you suddenly turn into the biggest weirdo of all! Healing spit? This sickness that seems to come and go?!” She huffed. “Steven...can you please just tell me what happened? Why do I have this injury? And maybe do it _before_ you throw up again?”

“I...I don’t think…” Steven said, trying desperately to come up with a proper response. He was still wrapping his head around everything. What did this even mean? Had she forgotten _everything_ in the years since the day he healed her eyes? The sword training with Pearl? The first time they fused? The incident with Aquamarine and Topaz? Going to Homeworld? All the stuff with Spinel and space camp? Them investigating the Traitor and the journal?

Was all of it just...gone? Because of that one injury?

And why wasn’t Priyanka visiting her? And what about her father? She hadn’t mentioned Mr. Maheswaran so much as once. And hadn’t the Gems visited her at least once? Garnet said she had...did she not remember that or-

‘Wait.’ Steven thought, as another question, one of the hundreds he already had, flowed into his mind. ‘It’s been _two_ years. Shouldn’t she…?’

“Connie.” He said, his voice finally becoming somewhat coherent. “Have you...noticed anything different?”

“What do you mean?” Connie asked.

“I mean...have you noticed anything different about yourself or your environment?” Steven repeated, his voice barely a whisper. “Any changes from the last memory you had of reading that book? Anything you notice? Anything at all?”

“Come to think of it, yeah, there have been a few things,” Connie replied. “I think I’m a few inches taller now, my hair a lot shorter, and I’ve grown a bit in some...ah, _areas_ that don’t need specifying.” She mumbled, sounding like her entire face was turning red out of embarrassment.

“I understand,” Steven said, his own face turning slightly red once he caught on to what she meant. “And...what do you make of those changes?”

Connie paused for a second, before taking a deep breath and saying, “I don’t know. I’m not sure how this could have happened. I mean, you said your family is magic or whatever, so maybe they did something to me...or that head injury is somehow behind it. I’m not really sure.”

“You’re not...what?!” Steven exclaimed, shocked that she hadn’t put two and two together instantly. “Connie, how long do you think you were out after that head injury?”

“I think a day or two,” Connie replied. “Not that long.”

“But those changes you mentioned couldn’t have just grown overnight!” Steven said. “It makes no sense! Why...are you acting like it’s normal!”

“Because it is?” Connie suggested. “Well, I mean, not too normal, but I think I’ve heard of people having growth spurts. It wouldn’t be odd for me to have something like that as well.”

“Connie, even things like growth spurts occur over a good period of time!” Steven said, almost shouting now, and he was unsure whether it was in concern or frustration. “Stuff like that isn’t normal at all! Why are you treating the fact that you’ve aged _two full years_ since your last memory like it’s nothing?!”

“...What do you mean “two years”? Connie asked.

“...Okay,” Steven said, finally having enough of this. “Connie, I think it’s time I tell you the full story. I don’t know why you’re acting like this, or why your mother won’t see you, or why nobody will tell you how you got that head injury, but I think it’s time you learned the truth.”

“...”

“...Connie?” He asked. “Are you-”

Before the next word could leave his mouth, however, Steven heard several shouting noises on the other side of the phone, one of which belonged to Connie. He was about to open his mouth again, until the _next_ noise rang out, which sounded distinctly like someone getting smashed over the head with a phone. A cry of pain was heard, then loud footsteps, then even _more_ shouting, and eventually these things all blended together into a symphony of noise that Steven couldn’t make heads or tails of.

Finally, after a few minutes, the line went quiet, with no voices, no footsteps, no nothing.

“C-Connie?” He said cautiously. “Are you there? Are you oka-”

“Steven.” A sudden voice said, one that he recognized instantly. _Priyanka_. The boy gasped upon hearing it, and he immediately started asking questions, as everything she had heard about the woman from Connie the last couple of minutes hadn’t exactly been...good.

“Dr. Mahesweran!” He shouted. “Where’s Connie? What did you do with her? Why haven’t you visited her ever since-” 

“Steven, _stop,”_ Priyanka said, clearly peeved with either him or the situation on the other end. “Please...calm down, Steven. Whatever Connie told you, I promise there is an explanation for it.”

“I hope so.” Steven snapped. He knew he was in no real position to get angry with her since _he_ was the one who put her daughter in the hospital, but he still wanted some sort of explanation. “Because from what I’ve heard, she hasn’t exactly put you on a pedestal.”

“I can imagine…” Priyanka muttered, before sighing. “But could you please correct or at least calm your tone? Especially since you’re the one who put her in the hospital in the first place? I’m going to try to be as respectful as possible here, because I know it wasn’t entirely your fault, but I’d still like to have a talk about that, and what happened _exactly_ so neither myself nor my husband start resenting you for the rest of our lives. Because...neither of us want to, and Connie wouldn’t forgive us if we do.”

“...”

“...”

“...Okay,” Steven said, taking a few more deep breaths. “Okay. I’m calm. I’m good. Now...could you please tell me what’s going on?”

“You’re going to have to be a little more specific,” Priyanka said. “There’s so much going on with her that I wouldn’t even know where to start…”

“Well, how about the amnesia?” Steven requested, tapping his fingers against the kitchen counter. “I assume that’s a byproduct of her head injury.”

“...That’s correct,” Priyanka replied softly. “She has a form of Retrograde amnesia, where her more recently formed memories, which seem to be the ones from the past two years, have disappeared entirely. We also believe that earlier ones may be gradually disappearing, and it’s possible…” She paused for a moment and stifled a sob, which Steven heard full-well. “That she may eventually forget everything.”

“...Please tell you’re joking,” Steven begged. “Please tell me that she’s going to get better no matter what, that she won’t forget every detail of her life, and that my best friend isn’t going to-” He was about to say “disappear”, but Steven stopped himself to turn away from the phone, choking back a few tears just like Priyanka had. “Just...please. Tell me this isn’t permanent.”

“...There’s no way to tell,” Priyanka replied. “Normally Retrograde amnesia that you get from injuries is only temporary, with the memories returning eventually, but so far Connie has shown no signs of that, only the exact opposite. She may eventually get her memories back, and while there usually is an...average for how long that could take depending on how severe the damage is to her brain...we don’t have an exact date. It could be a week for now, or a year. We don’t know.” She repeated.

“...Well, m-maybe I can do something,” Steven suggested. “Maybe I can try and heal her with-”

“No,” Priyanka said, making Steven flinch away from the phone. “And this isn’t a personal bias towards you, Steven. I’ve seen your healing powers before. If I truly believed that they could bring Connie back to normal, I would drive over to your house myself and bring her to you.” She then sighed again, sounding like she was shifting in place. “But I _don’t_ truly believe that. I’m sure your powers will heal the actual wounds, but I’m not sure if they could restore lost memories. Something like that is _much_ more complex than a broken bone or a minor laceration. And worst still, you could only make things _worse_. You might accidentally plant new memories, or reset her brain entirely. Now, it may be possible that _none_ of these things could happen, but until then I don’t want to risk it.”

‘That’s exactly what I was worried about as well.’ Steven thought. “Alright. If you say no, then I’ll consent to that. But until then...is waiting all we can really do at this point?”

“It would seem so,” Priyanka said. “We’ve been getting her to do some exercises, see what she remembers and what she doesn’t in the hope that it might unlock more memories...but she’s shown no response to them.”

Steven gulped after this and leaned against the counter to prevent himself from falling over. Suddenly, he felt like _he_ had been smacked in the head with a giant rock. Again, the realization that Connie had lost her memories of a huge portion of her life, and was only going to get worse was hitting him head-on (no pun intended). He wasn’t sure if he was about to throw up again, or smash straight through the door of the Beach House in a mad dash to get to the hospital.

Although Priyanka probably wouldn’t approve of that, if her earlier comment was anything to go on. 

But speaking of her…

“Something else,” Steven said. “Connie told me that you _never_ visited her while she was in... _while_ she's in the hospital! You were only there when she woke up and she hasn’t seen you since! Apart from right now, I’m guessing, considering that you were probably the one who took the phone away from her.” He rambled. “I’m not _accusing_ you or trying to vilify you here, but...why didn’t you go visit her? Are you just...unable to see while she’s like this-”

“Oh for the love of...is that what she told you?” Priyanka asked, sounding like she was facepalming. “Did she really tell you that I haven’t come to see her even once?”

“...Yeah,” Steven said. “Why? _Have_ you?”

“Of _course_ I have!” Priyanka exclaimed. “I’ve been paying her visits multiple times a day _every_ day! Even if she lost every bit of herself, even if that head injury had reverted her mental state to the point where she was no more intelligent than an infant, I’d still make sure she was okay using as many opportunities as possible!”

“O-oh,” Steven said softly. “Then why did she…?”

“I probably should have mentioned this earlier…” Priyanka mumbled. “But Connie no longer sees me as her mother.”

“Wha-what?!” Steven exclaimed. “What do you mean?”

“I mean she doesn’t recognize me as anything more than another random doctor,” Priyanka explained. “She recognizes her _father_ just fine, but as for me...no. I’m a stranger to her now. It’s like I was erased from her memory entirely, and now I have to remind her of who I _really_ am every time we meet. But no matter how many times I try...she simply refuses to acknowledge me as her mother.” Priyanka then squeezed the phone tightly as she went on, using such force that Steven could hear the plastic straining on his end. “One time she even shouted at me to leave when I tried to hug her. It’s been...a painful time for all of us.”

“Oh my god…” Steven said, now feeling even more guilty, if that was even possible. “W-well...if she doesn’t see _you_ as her mom...then who is it? She told me that you were there when she woke up, and she saw you as her mother, or...gah, this is getting so confusing!” He whined.

“It’s more the way you’re putting it,” Priyanka said. “But I understand what you’re trying to ask. And I’m still a little...salty, you could say, over this, so please excuse me if I sound frustrated while I’m explaining it. I was there when she woke up, of course, but as I’m sure you’ve guessed I’m not the person who she claimed was her “mother”. Because there was one other person visiting that day. She was in the room as well. It was...it was Pearl.”

 _“Pearl?!”_ Steven shouted. “Connie saw _her_ as her mother rather than you?! That doesn’t...doesn’t...actually, no, it makes perfect sense.” Steven deadpanned. “Connie practically sees her as a second mother, so if not you, then…”

“Her.” Priyanka finished. “And I can tell you that I may have gotten a bit...angry when I heard this. I demanded that Pearl leave, and she hasn’t come back since. Connie keeps asking to see her mother when I’m around, and when her father comes to see her she requests that “mom” come around as well, even though I’m usually standing right there next to him.”

“Ouch,” Steven whispered. “I guess that explains why Pearl said she “wants to give Connie some time alone with her parents”. She was afraid that you’d tell her off again.”

“I wouldn’t. It’s just that the shock at that moment made me blow up at her. I wasn’t thinking rationally.” Priyanka admitted. “I was so worried about Connie, and when she finally woke up and wanted to see someone _else_...well, let’s say that I wasn’t pleased, and unfortunately I took it out on the closest person to me that wasn’t her.”

“I understand,” Steven said. “But...hey! That means Pearl _knew_ Connie had lost her memory! Or at least had some form of brain damage! And I’m betting she told Garnet and maybe Amethyst as well!” He deduced. “Have they been...hiding that from me?”

“I guess so,” Priyanka said. “Garnet did come to visit a few days after she woke up, to use that...future vision she had to see if Connie would improve.”

“And?” Steven asked breathlessly. “What did she say?”

“She didn’t say anything,” Priyanka replied. “She stared at her for half a minute and then walked out without saying a word. I tried to stop her, but she ignored me the whole way. Which didn’t exactly give me high hopes for Connie’s recovery…”

“Really? That’s not like Garnet.” Steven said. “I mean, sometimes she can be stoic and silent and kinda creepy, but I wouldn’t think she would just read Connie’s future and then leave without giving you some kind of prediction.”

“Well, she did and there’s nothing I can do about it now,” Priyanka said. “She mentioned beforehand that you were grounded in a way, or at least being protected in that house-”

“Protected is a good word for it.” Steven scoffed/interjected. “They have literal _blast shields_ surrounding this place.”

“To be fair, after seeing the damage that explosion caused, I’d put them there as well,” Priyanka said. “But anyways, she requested that I not go over myself or send Connie over there if she got better. And that I shouldn’t bother calling you. She claimed that all the phones had been ripped off the walls.” Priyanka blew a puff of air and bit her bottom lip. “I guess that was a lie…”

“Of course it was.” Steven sighed, facepalming. “I can only imagine what this means. I wonder how many _other_ things they’ve lied to me about. Soon enough I’ll learn that the Diamonds actually know about Mirror or Peridot hasn’t been working on a way to stop them at all or...something.” He scoffed. “And I don’t think they’re going to be that happy about me finding out about this either.”

“...Who is Mirror?” Priyanka asked, sounding genuinely curious. “You said something about how the “Diamonds actually know about Mirror”. I know who _they_ are well enough, but who’s this Mirror person?”

“Eh...I don’t think I should tell you.” Steven said. “And it’s not that I don’t want to, it’s more because...it might be dangerous for you. I feel like I have a requirement to tell you, but I’m the other hand, I’m not sure I want to get you roped in with this situation any further. I’m worried you might get hurt like Connie did. Or someone else might.” He sighed. “I hope you understand, but I just don’t want anyone else to be put in the hospital because of me.”

“I...understand,” Priyanka said. “But when all this is over, I want a full explanation, Steven. If this “Mirror” person is the one _truly_ to blame for doing this to Connie, then I think I deserve at the very least to know who they are.”

“You will,” Steven reassured her. “We just need a little more time.” He then shifted in place again before popping a question that had been on his mind for a while, one that he hoped could be explained logically. “Um...by the way, there was something else Connie told me that sorta stood out. When I realized that she had lost her memory of the past two years, I asked her if there was anything about her appearance that she noticed was different. She _did_ seem to realize that she had grown, but for some reason, she treated it like it was-”

“Normal,” Priyanka said, more of a groan, really. “Yes. That was something I was going to get to if you hadn’t mentioned it. For some reason, Connie can’t seem to comprehend that it has only been a few days and not two years, _and_ that she has lost their memory. I've dealt with amnesic patients before. When told that they lost their memory, usually they try to help us to get it back. They know they were someone, and most of the time they want that someone back. Most.” She whispered.

“But…” Priyanka continued. “Connie is not like that. When we told her what happened, she passed out almost immediately. And when she woke back up, she simply refused to believe that she had lost such a major part of her memory. Her unexpected growth? Nothing but a puberty spurt that she considers normal. How different the town looks, along with Little Homeworld? A new addition that she had simply missed from being in her room all day. The Gems walking around in the hospital, training to be doctor’s assistants? Just some friends of Steven’s family, visiting for a while.” Priyanka huffed after listing all this, clearly fed up with how Connie was handling everything. “Everything we tell her she finds some random explanation for, and she believes it completely. For some reason, it seems that while she was passed out her brain entered some kind of situational delusionary mode, where she only believes what she wants to believe.”

“So what you’re saying is…” Steven started. “Connie won’t ever think that she lost two years of memories simply because she doesn’t _want_ to? And if someone provides her with evidence that she did, she’ll just come up with an excuse to try and disprove it?”

“That’s exactly right,” Priyanka confirmed. “It’s almost nothing like I’ve seen before. It isn’t rare that people suffering from amnesia sometimes won’t want to believe that the person they used to be is gone, but this takes it further than I’ve ever seen it. And even _worse_...we have no idea how to cure it. Or even help her. Heck, we don’t even know _how_ this happened!” She exclaimed, momentarily losing her composure. “Her brain just entered a shutdown mode by itself and when she woke up it had altered everything! It was almost like a separate entity had taken over her mind and forced her to adopt this new personality. This is...a mystery. For all of us. And like I mentioned earlier, perhaps the only way to stop this...is with time.”

“...”

“...”

“...”

“...Steven?” Priyanka said. “Are you there-”

“I’m here,” Steven reassured her. “Sorry, I was just thinking to myself. But look, Mrs. Maheswaran-”

“Just call me Priyanka, Steven.”

“...Okay. But look, Priyanka, I know you said that we shouldn’t use my healing spit because we won’t know the outcome, but there could be _other_ ways to heal her using Gem methods.” Steven explained.

“How so?” Priyanka asked, sounding like she wasn’t going to enjoy what Steven said next.

“Well, for one thing, Gem technology is thousands of years ahead of humanities,” Steven revealed. “They may not have traditional “doctors” but I’m sure they have experts on organic biology. Some of whom may know how the human brain works even better than any human. Gems who have spent thousands and thousands of years studying organic life and how it works. They likely have more knowledge of how the human brain works than any other being in the entire universe.”

“...Go on.” Priyanka requested, after some careful hesitation.

“O-Okay.” Steven gulped, surprised that he had already made it this far. “So like I was saying, these Gems likely know more about human biology and brains than any other being. So they _might_ know a way that we can cure Connie of her amnesia that we don’t know about. And if there’s a way, then they can use that super-advanced technology that I was talking about. Faster-than-light travel. Literal teleportation devices. Super-weapons that could destroy entire planets. That’s only a _small_ portion of the tech I’ve seen on Homeworld and other colonies! So I’m sure they could whip up some crazy medical devices that could easily cure Connie. All they need is for the Gems who made that technology and the Gems that are the experts on organic biology to work together, and I think it should be easy sailing from there!”

“...”

“S-so.” Steven stuttered, hoping he wasn’t about to hear Priyanka crying all of a sudden. “It’s a good plan, right? I get that you probably don’t want anything to do with Gems after what happened to Connie, but maybe those _same_ Gems can help fix what was damaged! Heck, even _right now_ , Peridot is working on a machine that should be able to look into a person's mind and manipulate memories and stuff! We might not even _need_ anyone from Homeworld to help! We could just use that!” He said, trying to be as enthusiastic about this as possible.

“...”

“So...what do you think?” Steven asked.

“...Steven.” Priyanka started, with a tone that he was unable to read even the slightest bit. “I think...I think that I am willing to give this a try.”

“That’s okay, I wasn’t expecting you to-” Steven started, before he realized what Priyanka just said was _not_ what his immediate response was appropriate for. “...Wait, really?! You’re really willing to?”

“...Did you expect me to say no?”

“Uh, yes?” Steven replied. “To be honest, I was expecting a much worse answer than a simple no.”

“I suppose I can’t blame you for that.” Priyanka huffed. “But I am willing to try almost anything at this point, Steven. And unlike how your “healing spit” works, your explanation of those Gems' knowledge of...organic biology and technology made a lot of sense to me. Like your powers, I don’t have the foggiest idea how any of it works, but I trust that they do. And that alone is reason enough for me to say yes to your proposal. I will trust whoever you contact to help Connie from this “Homeworld”, so they can assist us in curing her amnesia.”

“Thank you, Priyanka!” Steven exclaimed. “I don’t understand it either, but I promise that you will not-”

 _“But_...I have a few terms.” Priyanka interjected, making Steven snap his mouth shut. “Before they even come near my daughter, I want to know everything about them. What they’ve studied. If they think they can pull this off. What sort of medical work they’ve done before. How well they truly comprehend the complexities of the human brain, and how one wrong poke can effectively erase a person from existence. I want to make sure that they’re prepared for this.”

“I’ll make sure!” Steven said, even though he knew that going to Homeworld, something that he was definitely _not_ allowed to do at the moment, would be required for this plan to take form. “I’ll make sure, Priyanka. I’ll take care of everything. Don’t worry about it. I’ll-”

“Okay, okay I believe you, Steven,” Priyanka said, chuckling slightly. “Against my inner voice, I’ll believe you. When you get a hold of those Gems, call the hospital and ask for me. We’ll work it out from there. Now if you excuse me...I have to go. I know it’s abrupt, but someone is calling me. I think a patient had gone out of control.”

“Oh, that reminds me! One last thing.” Steven requested. “How did Connie get to the phone? I heard some shouting after you presumably took it away from her, like she was, ah, a patient in an insane asylum who just escaped her room. Where are you keeping her?”

“Just in a hospital room. The best I could afford”. Priyanka said quickly. “I don’t know how she got out, but rest assured, she’s okay. We just don’t want her contacting anyone and spreading rumors that we might be holding her here against her will.”

“I mean...aren’t you? From what I heard, she doesn’t sound happy to be there…”

“Well, yes, but it’s for her own safety, for obvious reasons,” Priyanka said. “Now, Steven, goodbye. And once all this is over...if your Gems can really help Connie and restore her memories...then we’ll start talking about how I will allow you two to interact in the future.”

“Understood,” Steven said quietly. “Goodbye.”

“Goodbye,” Priyanka said, and with that, the line went dead. Steven stared at the phone for a moment before he hung it up, before turning around and facing the counter. He placed both his hands on it, wet his lips, and then using as much force as he could, Steven raised his fist up and slammed it down as hard as he could, shattering plaster and causing it to fly in all directions. A giant crack formed instantly and stretched all the way from the counter to the floor, eventually coming to a stop right at the edge of the wood.

Steven rubbed his hand after this, grimacing as it started bleeding from the minuscule pieces of plaster now embedded in it, but he didn’t care about the pain. Only one thing was on his mind: His plan for saving Connie.

And he knew that if he was going to do it, he had to do it now. Mirror could attack at any moment, and he didn’t want Connie caught in the crossfire, as she was nothing more than an innocent now. She had to be ready when they came back. They all had to be ready. So Steven sighed, looked over at the Warp Pad, and psyched himself up to leave. The Gems wouldn’t approve of it. His dad wouldn’t approve of it. No one would approve of it. But still. In some odd, horribly shaped part of his mind, the fact that he had to go now was making some sort of sense. 

But first he had to leave a note. 

He might not be coming back for a long time, after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't have much to say about this chapter, other than the fact that the next arc is going to be a long one. We'll be turning away from our regular cast of Gems at the moment in favor of the Homeworld ones, which will go as well as you'd expect...
> 
> Fun times ahead...


	32. Egress

The warp to Homeworld was long, as usual, although this time it felt like it was taking an eternity.

Even from inside the magical confines of the stream, Steven could feel the coldness of space trying to force its way through, and he shivered slightly at the sensation, trying not to think about what might happen if the pad on Homeworld suddenly shut down. About how he’d out in the middle of space, with almost no warning, with almost no time to make a bubble, and the pain from the sudden lack of oxygen and cold might make him _unable_ to a create a bubble and-

‘Stop.’ He told himself, shaking his head. ‘Remember what you’re going to Homeworld for. Remember the risk you’re taking here. You can’t let anything distract you. The second the Gems notice you’re gone, this is probably one of the first places they’ll look. You have to do this quickly. In and out. Fast as possible.’

Of course, a part of Steven told himself that this wasn’t going to be a simple “in and out”. As usual, getting involved with the Diamonds normally made any situation even _more_ complicated, and this time he wasn’t sure if he was going to be able to ignore their pleas for him to talk to them. 

_Normally_ , of course. Because he was going to have to talk to them whether he liked it or not. Firstly to get to the Homeworld archives to find any information on the Traitor that could lead him to Mirror, like Jasper had suggested all those weeks ago. (Well, only the first part, but that was irrelevant.) Secondly, to ask and search for any Gems that might be able to help out Connie. The biologists and technicians, as he mentioned. And while he _may_ have gotten a little over-excited earlier explaining how those Gems could help her while talking to Dr. Maheswaran, he still believed in his heart that they could help. Like he had told her, they had spent thousands of years researching that kind of thing. They knew it better than anyone.

And yes, he did feel a little bad for asking those Gems to help him with something that may or may not have been their past job, due to all the freedom from the “do whatever you want” laws he had the Diamonds pass, but he was sure that they’d helped if asked.

Besides, they saw him as a Diamond, even if he didn’t like being referred to as such. So he didn’t have much doubt that they’d flat out say “no”.

Of course, there was still a heavy amount of anxiety in his heart. He began to wonder if the cold he was feeling wasn’t from space, but rather just a part of his imagination, spent worrying about how his family would react. Like his interaction with the Authority, they were going to find out no matter what. Even if nobody had been watching the cameras when he left due to them all being the meeting, it wouldn’t take long for them to realize that he had left. It was only a matter of time, one thing that Steven knew wasn't on his side. 

But as Steven suddenly felt the mild coldness of space drift away, he knew he had arrived. And like clockwork, a second later the stream vanished to reveal the now colorful and energetic surface of Homeworld. Gems were walking around everywhere he looked, not one of them having anything but a smile on their face. (Which was honestly kind of creepy, now that he had a view of them all.) Plants were everywhere, sticking up out of the ground and being tended to by several Gems who looked like stereotypical gardeners. The sky was also abuzz with activity, the various tubes crisscrossing the area carrying Gems inside that whipped by at the speed of sound, nothing more than a blur of color. The air smelled somewhat like Earth, but almost...cleaner? Like there was zero pollution anywhere to be found.

But beautiful as it all was, Steven wasn’t here to admire any of it. He had a mission. He straightened himself up and headed towards White’s ship, which was sitting on top of a large structure that held the throne room and hopefully the Diamonds as well. If they weren’t there, he could just ask around, but things would be….easier for everyone if they were the first ones he talked to.

Of course, the second they heard he was on Homeworld they’d come running, so he didn’t have to worry about it either way.

But he went, waving to the various Gems that greeted him as they passed by, not wanting anyone to stop him and ask if he was okay. He did his best to mimic their smiles, and hoped that it was believable enough. If he started putting on a frown, he’d be the only person there to carry one, and that’d only make him stand out even _more._

Soon, however, he made it to the palace. After slowly ascending the steps that led up to them, he entered the main hallway and made his way towards the throne room, which was unfortunately vacant of the former monarchs which he had hoped would be there. There _were_ plenty more Gems, one of which...he recognized before he even saw them.

“Steven?!” An overly enthusiastic voice from behind him said, and his eyes widened as he realized who it belonged to. He heard the sound of extremely fast footsteps, and only turned around quickly enough to see _Spinel_ barreling towards him at Mach speed. He put up his hands to defend himself, but it was hopeless. The rubbery Gem slammed into Steven and instantly wrapped her arms around him about twenty times, entrapping him with a small cage of limbs. The two fell to the floor like a sack of potatoes, and Steven felt all the air being forced out of him as he landed on his back.

He opened his eyes groggily like a person that had just been woken up from a nap, only to see Spinel’s crazed face an inch from his, smiling so widely that it looked like she had broken his jaw. The two of them stared at each other for a second, frozen in place, and Steven wasn’t sure if she was about to kiss him or bite his head off in a fit of happiness.

And Steven decided that he better take charge before _either_ of those things happened, as he wasn’t sure which was worse.

“Hey, Spinel.” He said, struggling to speak with how tightly she was squeezing him. “Can you please let me go? I can’t breathe.”

“Oh, sorry!” Spinel exclaimed, climbing off him and unraveling her arms. “I’m just so excited to see you! You never write! You never call! You never visit! If I didn’t know better, I’d say it feels like you never want to see me again!”

“Haha, yeah…” Steven said awkwardly, rubbing the back of his head. “Sorry, I’ve just been a little caught up in things. There’s a lot happening on Earth right now, and I don’t have that much time to talk to anyone.” He then added, under his breath, “Mostly because I don’t have any means of communication.”

“Ah, that sucks.” Spinel said. “But I get what you’re saying. I know all about this little crisis you’re having on Earth. Honestly, I’m just glad it’s not me this time!” She chuckled.

“Yeah, I don’t think-” Steven started, before his voice died in his mouth as he went over what Spinel had said. “Wait, what do you mean you know all about it? What...exactly _do_ you know?”

“Just that this guy named Mirror is screwing up that little Gem community you made and making your life miserable.” Spinel explained, making Steven’s jaw drop. “The Diamonds have been searching for them like _crazy_ , and I only know about any of this because I keep spying on them to learn information. It’s really hard. One time I had to disguise myself as a plant. I think I had them fooled though…”

Steven didn’t hear any of what Spinel said afterward, too focused on her reveal that the Diamonds knew about Mirror and were searching for them, _even though_ Garnet had claimed the Diamonds wouldn’t get involved with any of this. It was like he said during his call with Priyanka. They knew, maybe all along, and he had no doubt that the Gems told them and then lied to him about it. He turned back to Spinel, who was rambling on about how it took her a full day to wash the green paint off of herself, and he raised a hand and pressed a finger to her lips, attempting to shush her.

Unfortunately, she didn’t get the message, and she stared at the finger for a moment before sticking her tongue out and licking it, causing Steven to yank it back in shock.

“Spinel, what are you doing?!” He asked, wiping his finger on his jeans. “What was that?!”

“I don’t know.” Spinel replied, shrugging. “What were _you_ trying to do?”

“...”

“...”

“It was...nevermind,” Steven said, wishing he had brought some hand sanitizer. “Nevermind it for now. But listen. Do you know who told the Diamonds about Mirror and all that?”

“Yup!” Spinel said enthusiastically. “It was while I was spying on Yellow, when I was cleverly disguised as a window.”

“...How did you do that?” Steven asked, genuinely curious this time.

“...I don’t remember.” Spinel said. “But while I was doing that, she called one of your Earth friends. The one whose hair is shaped like a square.” She paused and then giggled to herself. “Hehe. That rhymes. Hair like a square...hair like a square…”

“Garnet…” Steven mumbled, ignoring Spinel’s antics entirely. He turned away from her and began thinking to himself out loud, while Spinel began singing some kind of song, all of the lyrics being “hair like a square”.

“Why would she lie to me about this?” He asked himself. “ _They_ were the ones who decided that the Diamonds weren’t going to get involved, not me. They told me themselves before I could even request that. Were they afraid that I was going to them? Somehow making matters even worse? But how would I…”

He looked back at Spinel again, who had drawn a small crowd with her singing, and as much as Steven didn’t want to ruin their enjoyment, he knew there were more important things at stake at the moment. He grabbed Spinel by the arm and started dragging her off, and he was over twenty feet away before he realized that she was still in the same spot, her arm was just stretching with him. He gingerly let it go, causing it to snap back and smack her in the face, cutting off her singing and making the entire crowd wince. She glanced over at Steven, who motioned for her to “come over”, and of course, she was happy to oblige, making the entire journey in one long step.

“What is it, Steven?” She asked. “Did you like my singing?”

“Uh, sure,” Steven replied. “But I need you to do something for me. I need you to take me to Yellow. Or any of the Diamonds, really. I need to speak with them about the whole…” He leaned in and softened his voice to a whisper. “...Earth situation.”

“Ah, you don’t have to worry about whispering! Everyone here knows about Mirror!” She announces, her voice echoing like thunder throughout the throne room. “Trust me, there isn’t a Gem in the galaxy who doesn’t know. All of us have you covered, Steven. There isn’t a person here who isn’t watching out for you!”

“Really?” Steven asked. “Because besides you, not a single Gem has walked up to me and initiated a conversation, besides a “hi” or two.”

“Oh, well that’s because White told us that if we ever saw you, we shouldn’t get too close.” Spinel explained. “I don’t really know why. She didn’t go into any more detail than that. And before you ask, I ignored it because I was just so excited!”

“I...can believe that. Probably put that rule into place in case I had another outburst…” Steven mumbled, trying to hide his further frustration at how much _everyone in the galaxy_ , as Spinel put it, now knew about him.

“Another what?” Spinel asked.

“Nothing,” Steven said. “Now, can you take me to one of the Diamonds? Preferably Yellow, considering that she seems to be the one Garnet is contacting.”

“I’m not sure that’s a good idea.” Spinel said. “The Diamonds are in the middle of a meeting right now, and while _I_ could spy on them no problem…” She explained jovially. “...You’re another matter altogether.”

“I’m a...Diamond like them.” Steven said, trying not to bite his tongue. “I should be able to enter a meeting that’s for _Diamonds only.”_

“Ah, right…” Spinel mumbled. “But still, I think it would be best for you to wait. I have to admit, those meetings are pretty boooorrrriiiinnng!” She shouted, outspreading her arms. “Most of the time I just leave early, because all they talk about are things called “politics” and “forms”.”

“I...fine,” Steven said, since now that he thought about it, interrupting a meeting between the Diamonds _and his friends_ was a terrible idea in hindsight. “So how long do you think they’re going to be in that meeting? A couple of minutes? Hours? Day? Because I need to speak to them as soon as possible.”

“It shouldn’t be that long.” Spinel said, waving him off. “Most of the time when they leave though, it’s out of frustration, so watch yourself when you’re talking to them. They may not be in the best of moods. Honestly, the only time I’ve seen them angry since I got here is when they leave those meetings! I guess just talking to your friends really gets to them…”

“Or talking about Mirror hurting me gets to them…” Steven said to himself. “Okay. We’ll just...wait here until they’re finished. I know this room connects to _their_ rooms, so when they’re done they’ll come through here to get _there.”_ He sat down on the floor and pulled out his phone, before starting up a game and silently playing it.

“...”

“...”

“...”

“...”

“...”

“...So whatcha playing?” Spinel asked, after an awkward silence and some shifting back and forth from the pink Gem. Even though he knew this was coming, Steven sighed and put his phone away, not wanting Spinel to take it and risk breaking it.

“Nothing.” He said, before stretching himself out. “Spinel, can I ask you a few questions?”

“You can ask me _anything_ you want, Steven!” Spinel replied. “As long as it’s not, “do you want to play a game”. Because I still get flashbacks every once and a while of that, and _let me tell you_ , I get _crazy_ whenever someone brings up-”

“I get the idea,” Steven interjected. “I’m not going to mention _her_. But I want to know if _you_ know anything about the...Homeworld archives? And how I can get into them?”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about or what these archives are.” Spinel said, sounding serious for the first time since he got here. “What are they?”

“I thought so.” Steven sighed. “Apparently, it's a location on Homeworld that contains every scrap of knowledge that Gemkind has ever learned. Basically Wikipedia but for Gems.”

“What’s Wikipedia?”

“...The human version of the Homeworld archives.” Steven sighed. “But I want to find them because I think that information about the Traitor, who is connected to Mirror, might be in there. And if those two are connected then I need to know how. Those archives might be the saving grace of this entire mess.”

“Who’s the Traitor?” Spinel asked, popping out one question after another.

“They’re a…” Steven started, before sighing again. “Okay, I’m just going to tell you the whole story.” He then turned and looked at nothing. “If you’ve heard this story before, feel free to skip it, unless you’re actually in a retelling that’s only a shorter version of the original.”

“Who are you talking to?”

“Nobody you would be aware of,” Steven said. “Okay, so thousands of years ago, when the Earth was being colonized, Blue Diamond created a laboratory on Earth meant to test organic life and experiment on it. Unfortunately, things took a turn for the worst and they started messing around with humans, which eventually led to the creation of the Traitor, which was a heavily enhanced human made for Homeworld that was thrown into the war and even fought...a person I know.” Steven explained, narrowing avoiding saying, “my mother”.

“Wow.” Spinel said, leaning towards him causing Steven to rear back. “That’s really interesting! But why would they experiment with one human when they had millions of Gem soldiers at their control?”

“Well, for one thing, a soldier wasn’t their intention when they started screwing around with Earth life. That was for...something else.” Steven said vaguely, recalling Pearl’s mention of the whole immortal pets thing. “But I guess somewhere along the line, they wanted to see just how strong humans could be, so they turned one into a soldier. I guess they fought in a battle or two, and then they...disappeared at the end of the war. No one, to my knowledge, has any idea what happened.”

“Wait, that’s _it?!”_ Spinel exclaimed. “He just disappeared?!”

“They.”

“They just disappeared?! And just when the story was getting good!” Spinel exclaimed. “I didn’t want that to end! I thought this was going to be some awesome hours-long story! But that didn’t even last two minutes! That was so...anti-climatic!”

“I wish I could tell you more, but that’s honestly all I have,” Steven said. “But while the story of the original Traitor ends there, I still have a bit more to say on that lab that I mentioned. And I need you to _promise_ me not to tell anyone about this. While I know you said everyone knows about Mirror, if this information gets out then...well, I don’t know what could happen. But I don’t think it would be good.”

“Ooooh, here come the juicy bits.” Spinel said, leaning in so close to Steven’s face that their cheeks were touching. “Go on.” She whispered creepily. “Tell me. I promise I won’t tell another _living_ soul.”

“Why did you emphasize _living?_ ” Steven asked, scooting a few inches away from her.

“No reason.”

“...”

“...”

“...Right.” Steven sighed. “Okay. So I found out that Mirror...is another human test subject from the lab. They’re-”

“MIRROR IS-” Spinel started to shriek, before Steven slapped both his hands over her mouth. Realizing that everyone was now looking at them, and recalling how dragging her away didn’t work last time, Steven simply picked Spinel up and slung her over his shoulder like a pool noodle, keeping one hand in her mouth all the while. He went into a random vacant hallway and then set her down before taking his hand away, resulting in Spinel dramatically gasping for air.

“What did I just tell you?!” He hissed. “You promised you wouldn’t tell anyone, yet just a second ago you were _literally_ about to scream it for all of Homeworld to hear!”

“Sorry, it’s just so shocking!” Spinel apologized. “I thought humans didn’t live that long! Or at least I thought...huh. How long do humans live?”

“Not as long as Mirror has,” Steven replied, although that was a great understatement. “But I believe they’ve survived this long because they were enhanced as well. I have no idea _what_ kind of enhancements those scientists gave them to allow them to live for thousands of years past their normal lifespan...heck, they even sounded kinda _young…”_ He rambled. “...But that’s basically how.”

“I see…” Spinel said, nodding along like some kind of student listening to a lecture. “But why don’t you want that information to get out? What’s the worst it can do?”

“It’s not information about Mirror that I don’t want getting out, it’s information about that Lab in general,” Steven said. “If I start telling people that there was a Lab made thousands of years ago that could enhance organics to the point where they became superior to some Gems, as well as _brainwash_ them and make them do anything with no concern for themselves...then some of my enemies might take humans, maybe some humans that I _care about_ , and try to do the same. And in the end, they’ll make a soldier out of them just as much as the Traitor, and I’ll be forced to fight my friends.” He huffed and took a breath after this explanation. “So do you get it now, Spinel? Why I can’t have anyone learning about this? If it gets out, a lot of people could get hurt.”

“Woooooow.” Spinel said, dragging the word out as long as possible for whatever reason. “Yeah, I think I get it. I wouldn’t want to have to fight _you_ again. It would bring up a lot of painful memories.” She then put a hand on her chin and stretched over Steven, looking him up and down like she was inspecting him. 

“Uh...what are you doing?”

“I was just thinking.” Spinel said. “If the same scientists who made those superhumans could improve _your_ abilities as well.”

“That’s...actually an interesting thought,” Steven admitted. “But how was looking me up and down like that a test of whether not that’s possible?”

Spinel thought about it for a moment before shrugging again. “I don’t know.” She said, and she went back to looking at him like he was a germ under a microscope. Steven rolled his eyes and turned away from the Gem, thinking to himself.

‘She brings up an interesting point.’ He thought. ‘How _did_ they do that exactly? I’m sure Pearl knows, considering she and my mom read all those notes on this exact topic, but I wonder if there’s a clear answer. Did they just screw around with the DNA? Make clones of them that were genetically designed to be better? Neither of those? And...was Spinel’s assumption correct? Could something like that even _make_ me better, or am I already as strong as I can get? I’m more physically capable than probably any human who ever lived...but is there a limit to that? To what a person’s body can handle?’

Steven frowned and then shook these thoughts off, getting his head out of the clouds. Obviously, he wasn’t going to try and genetically better himself anytime soon, or ever really, and he didn’t want that kind of technology to come back for reasons already explained to Spinel. Then he recalled something. One of the reasons he had come here, which also had to do with the human body.

“Spinel.” He said, grabbing the top of her head and forcing her to come back down to his level. “I’m sure it’d be easier if I just asked the Diamonds about this later, but do you know the whereabouts of any Gems who study organic biology?”

“Do I!” Spinel exclaimed, a wide smile on her face, before that quickly faded. “No. I don’t. Honestly, the planet I was made on, Homeworld, the armory where I got the Injector and the Rejuvenator, and...the _Garden…”_ She scoffed. “Were the only four places I ever visited before I came to Earth. And that armory was completely abandoned, as were the other two, and Homeworld was always so boring...so I didn’t have any chances to...get to know anybody.” She said sheepishly, speaking with the edges of her mouth. “Heck, I hardly know anything about Gem culture at all! Everything I knew was what... _that person_ taught me.” She spat, a sudden dark glare coming over her vision. “But anyway! I don’t know, Steven. You’re going to have to ask the Diamonds! But why do you want to know about that stuff anyway? Are you taking my idea of enhancing yourself _seriously?”_

“No, no, definitely not,” Steven said. “I just...one of my human friends was hurt, and the doctors on Earth can’t really do anything for her at the moment, so I was wondering if a Gem on Homeworld who studied organic biology...could help her out. Do things that nobody else could.”

“Ooooh.” Spinel said. “Is it that Connie human? The one who was riding a giant pink thing back during the whole...injector crisis?”

“...Yes,” Steven said, after a brief moment of hesitation. “And worst of all, she’s hurt because of me. So I feel like I _need_ to do this so I can make it up to her. Of course, she doesn’t _know_ it was me, but when she does…” He sighed and looked at the ground. “...I won’t blame her if she doesn’t want to speak to me ever again.”

“Awww...” Spinel said sadly, before pulling Steven into another hug. “Don’t worry, Steven. Even if that Connie doesn’t want to speak to you, you still have little old me. I’ll talk to you whenever you want. You can come to Homeworld, and we can hang out together, and do _lots_ of cool friend things! Whattaya say?”

Despite the seriousness of the conversation they were just having, Steven smiled after Spinel said this, and chuckled slightly. “Sure.” He said. “That sounds nice. But don’t expect me to come by _too_ often. Especially since I’m going to be grounded for the rest of my life once this whole thing is done with.”

“Why?”

“I’m not exactly...supposed to be here,” Steven explained. “The Gems confined me to my house, and I’ve been forced to stay there for two weeks. And although it’s for everyone’s safety, I still feel sometimes like-”

“WHAT?!?!” Spinel shrieked, her entire body turning a crimson shade of red. “They’re doing _what_ to you, Steven?!”

“Uh...keeping me in my house.” Steven repeated, before realizing that with Spinel’s past of being “forced” to stay in the Garden for six thousand years, he really should have seen this reaction coming. “But don’t worry! It’s not like a prison or anything! Sometimes I’m just really bored and it can get annoying at times! And besides, it’s only temporary until-”

“Oh, that’s what they all say!” Spine scoffed. “You know what _she_ said to me before she left? A note that I left out of my precious little song? She said the game was only _temporary!_ And then guess what happened? Oh wait, you already know! I was abandoned for _six thousand years!!!!!”_ She shrieked, while Steven desperately and futilely tried to get her to calm down. “And that’s what’s going to happen to you, Steven! “It’s only temporary” they say! But I’m betting that soon enough your friends will leave one day and won’t come back for six millennia! Just like me! And I’m _not_ letting that happen to you!”

“I...definitely don’t plan on living that long, for one thing.” Steven started, causing Spinel’s eyes to widen even further. “And for another, they’d never do that. I know you might _think_ that-”

“Hold on, what do you _mean_ you’re not planning to live for six thousand years?!” Spinel sobbed, suddenly grabbing him by both his shoulders again and looking him in the eye.

“...”

“...”

‘God, it’s just one thing to another with her.’ Steven thought, sheepishly rubbing the back of his head. “Uh...I’m just not? I mean, doing that would mean outliving all my human friends, including Connie, who I hope to…” He coughed violently and whispered something that Spinel couldn’t hear. “...one day, and if our relationship ever becomes that close, I don’t think I want to be without her. Along with everyone else I care about. So...I’m not sure what else to say, Spinel. I don’t want to have to watch all my friends and the love of my life die, so...I won’t force myself to.”

“But...wha...nooooo!” Spinel said dramatically, shaking her head so hard Steven thought it might fall off. “How...how long is that going to take? H-how long until all your human friends die?”

“Umm...a hundred years or so? At most?” Steven guessed. “After that, I guess I’ll just...voluntarily kick the bucket? I actually haven’t put _that_ much thought into it, and I’m not sure I’m comfortable talking about it this early on-”

“A hundred years?!” Spinel gasped. “A hundred years is _nothing_ to me! Or the Diamonds! Or lost everyone in the entire univerrrrseeres!” She wailed, her words slowly becoming incoherent. She gripped Steven tightly and pulled him into _another_ hug, her tears staining the back of his jacket. “Don’t die, Steven! Please don’t die! You’re one of the few things I actually care about!”

“I...I’m sorry, Spinel.” Steven said, actually started to get affected by her breakdown. “But I’ve made my choice. I made it a long time ago, when I realized that I could control my age. Like I said. I don’t want to _force_ myself to live forever. I want to experience life...as a human, not as an immortal. That’s...how my mom wanted me to live.” He whispered, finally mentioning her directly. “And even though my feelings about her are mixed at best, I’m going to honor her wishes and live that way. Even if it means I have to...die.”

“No. Nononononono!” Spinel cried. “I won’t accept this! Just like I won’t accept you being made to say in your house! You’re not dying, Steven! Not on my watch! Never in a million years! I’ll force-feed you if that’s what it comes to!”

“Okay, this is starting to sound a little creepy,” Steven said. “Please don’t get any crazy idea-”

“No! I’ve made my choice! One that will undermine yours!” Spinel said. “I’m going to make sure you never die, Steven! Consider it me paying you back for helping me!”

“But that’s not what I want,” Steven said. “If I wanted to live forever, then I could. But I _don’t_. And that’s just it, Spinel. So...if you want to _be my friend_ , then you won’t forcefully try to make me live forever.”

“Wha...no...you...I…” Spinel stuttered, going back and forth with the urge to make Steven live forever to be his eternal friend and obeying his wishes to _remain_ that friend. Finally, she melted into a puddle, and Spinel, now only an inch tall, looked at him with drooping eyes the size of dinner plates.

“Fine…” She groaned, barely getting the word out. “But Steven...I don’t want you to die. You’re the only _real_ friend I have…”

‘Oh no, we’re just going in a circle now.’ Steven thought. “What about the Diamonds, Spinel? They’re your friends, right? Don’t you like staying here with them?”

“I...I don't know.” Spinel said, and Steven had to step back to avoid getting her on his shoes. “They’re nice and all, but they don’t give me the same happiness _you_ give me. They’re so understanding about everything, no matter what it is, but _you_...when I made a mistake, you pointed it out and tried to help me to make me better. But when I make a mistake around _them_...they just laugh and wave it off like no big deal.”

“Ah…” Steven said. “Yeah, I can see that happening. But okay. I think it’s time we put an end to this conversation. Spinel, instead of wondering what’s going to happen in the future, I think you should enjoy what’s going on in the moment. If you think about nothing but the future all the time, then you won’t be able to appreciate what you have in the present.”

“But how can I appreciate it?” Spinel asked pitifully. “A hundred years is no time at all, like I told you! A hundred years is _basically_ the present for me! Only a quick moment for a Gem! And if you’re going to die at the end of that quick moment, then how could I possibly be happy?!”

Steven sighed and facepalmed. “Spinel, I think if you really tried, then those hundred years will pass a _lot_ slower than it seems. Time doesn’t pass differently for Gems. They’re just used to _staying_ alive for longer periods of time. A second for a Gem...is the same as a second for a human. There’s no difference. So…” He grabbed her half-melted hand and tried to hoist her up, resulting in her reforming and getting to her feet with a squelching noise. “...try and live in the moment with me and the Diamonds. And everyone else you meet. That way...you can be happy and have friends even _after_ I’m gone.”

“...”

“Okay?”

“...Okay.” Spinel said, wiping some of her tears away. She then stuck a finger in Steven's face and pushed back his nose. “But whenever we see each other, you better make the _most_ of our time, understand?”

“I understand,” Steven said nervously, putting up two hands in defense. “Trust me, we’ll do _whatever_ you want...as long as it happens _after_ we take care of the whole Mirror situation, because you wouldn’t want me dying any _earlier,_ would you?”

“Definitely not.” Spinel said, before quickly adding, “Oh, and don’t think that I’ve forgotten about what we were talking about just a few minutes ago! When I see your friends, I am going to give them an hour-long lecture like the ones you give people about friendship about why keeping you in that house all day is the worst thing they can do for you!”

Steven was about to shoot back at this, likely to comment on how they’re just trying to protect him and other people at the risk of their own safety, but he figured that it would just be best to go along with it before Spinel melted again.

“Okay.” He said. “You can do that.”

“Good.” Spinel said. “Now, is that everything you wanted to tell me?”

“I mean, most of that conversation was just you complaining…” Steven commented. “But yeah. I think you know everything I want you to know. As well as everything I trust you to keep a secre...actually no, I’ve already gone too far if we’re going with _that_ definition.”

“Then what are we waiting for?” Spinel asked rhetorically, grabbing Steven’s arm and dragging him down the hallway. “Let’s go back to the throne room and wait for the Diamonds.”

What followed was a rather long and tedious wait period for the two, which involved them both sitting in silence, Spinel trying to get some nearby Gems to participate in some kind of clapping game, those same Gems leaving when she enlarged her hands and started producing sounds that were rather uncomfortable to hear, and then a few _more_ minutes of silence that ended when finally, _finally_ , the two of them heard several footsteps that sounded like they were coming from a giant. They both turned towards a humongous doorway that soon revealed Yellow, wearing a rather peeved expression and crossing her arms. Once she spotted Steven however, her face twisted into one of shock, and she rushed over and loomed over them, casting a shadow over the two.

“Uh...hey, Yellow!” Steven said awkwardly. “Long time no see…”

“Hey, Yellow!” Spinel parroted, waving at her. “Look who’s here! Steven finally came for a visit!”

“Yes, I can see that,” Yellow said, inspecting them both as she stared at the hybrid in mild shock. “Steven...why are you here? Or more specifically, _how_ are you here? thought your family had you under something called “house-arrest”.”

“I kinda...snuck out when no one was looking,” Steven explained. “I needed help, and you guys are the only ones who can do that with my...particular problem.”

“I see…” Yellow repeated, her memories drifting back to what Garnet said at the end of the meeting she just left, about how she shouldn’t help Steven if he arrived on Homeworld no matter what.

But Yellow was not one to help Garnet over Steven, and that was all there was to it.

“Well, we’re always happy to help, Steven!” She finally said. “Especially since you’re not allowed to be here! That means this problem of yours must be dire! So what is it? How can we assist you?”

“Can we...talk about it somewhere else?” Steven requested. “There are too many prying eyes here, and it's something I’d rather keep between us.”

“Hm. Very well.” Yellow said. “Then follow me, Steven. I’ll take you to my room. There’s plenty of space in there, but I can make it secluded enough so that no one can hear us. And I expect a full explanation of this problem you’re having once we get there.”

And with that, Yellow turned around and started heading towards one of the giant hallways, and Steven paused for a moment before following her along with Spinel. Due to her size, they had to jog slightly to keep up, and Steven opened his mouth a few seconds in, talking as they moved along.

“That was easier than I expected.” He commented, talking directly to Spinel. “She accepted my explanation just like that. I thought for sure that I was going to have to talk her out of contacting my family or something. I’m sure she knows the severity of the situation, as you said that White issued a warning earlier to literally _everyone_ , so I’m kinda surprised that...she doesn’t seem to mind me being here.”

“Pft. It’s because you never visit.” Spinel explained. “I know it may not _seem_ like it, but trust me, she’s more excited than she had been in _months_ right now. She’s just happy to see you, Steven. We all are. Like I mentioned earlier! You never write or call or anything!”

“I have my...own reasons for that,” Steven mumbled. “But does this mean she’s going to start jumping for joy when we get to her room? Because honestly, I’m not sure I want to see that. It’s still weird seeing Yellow _smile_ most of the time, much less be just plain happy.”

“Ha! You’re not alone in that!” Spinel said, patting his back with an oversized hand, causing Steven to cough violently. “I only ever met the Diamonds a few times before the Garden incident. And let me tell you...yeah, they were as cold as _ice_. Blue smiled sometimes, but she always had a habit of making... _her_ cry, an effect that would cause _me_ to cry. Yellow always had this angry glare that made you want to curl up into a ball, and White…” For a moment, the ever-present smile on Spinel’s face faded, and she got a distant look in her eyes. Steven took immediate notice, and glanced at her in concern.

“Well...White…” She said. “I was there, you know. When _she_ broke that Pearl.”

“Volleyball?” Steven asked. “The one with the crack over her eye?”

“Who else?” Spinel said. “It was the first time I had traveled outside of the Garden, and the last. _She_ had left to take care of some Diamond duty on Homeworld, and I followed her because I was just so _excited_. I wanted to see what she did when she wasn’t playing with me. And...it was one of the biggest regrets of my life. I arrived on Homeworld, and after some searching, I found her.”

“What happened then?” Steven asked, genuinely intrigued by this story. “Did you actually _see_ my mo...uh, _her_ , do that to Volleyball?”

“No. But I saw the aftermath.” Spinel said. “I was sneaking around the palace when I eventually came to the throne room, and when I saw _her_ there with White I hid behind a pillar. I don’t know why. I mean, I didn’t want them to find me, because I knew they’d be mad, but White...for some reason I was terrified of her. Like I would have been shattered on the spot if she realized I was there.”

“I can relate,” Steven said, vividly recalling his first experience with the skyscraper-esque Diamond. “She was...odd when I first met her. I knew White wasn’t like the others when I was going in, but that didn’t really prepare me for her. I barely got a word in, and even though I tried to stay courageous, tried to talk to her normally, just seeing her standing like that…” He shuddered like he was cold. “...It’s something I’d rather forget altogether.”

“Then you’re lucky.” Spinel said. “If all she did was talk to you and send you off. I saw her use those weird eye beams of hers, you know. I saw her use them to possess...Volleyball, I guess you call her. I saw her get up, and then start moving around like a puppet, and then she…” Spinel paused and sniffed, clearly holding back a tear. “...She started speaking in White’s voice, and I realized what had happened to her. And that...was my first glimpse.”

“First glimpse? “ Steven asked. “First glimpse of what?”

“The first glimpse of what Homeworld was _really_ like.” Spinel iterated, making Steven gulp. “Of what _White_ was like. That memory...was my first and only encounter with her until six months ago, when I came to Homeworld with them.”

“Jeez…” Steven said. “What did you do then?”

“I bolted. What else _could_ I do?” Spinel explained. “I ran and ran until I got back to the warp pad and I promised never to return. Until, of course, the whole six months ago thing. But that was only because you convinced me to, and because the White I saw _that_ day...I knew she wasn’t the one I encountered all those thousands of years ago.”

“Spinel…” Steven started. “Why didn’t you tell anyone? Does White even know about this?”

“She doesn’t.” Spinel said. “But I have a feeling that she always knew I was there. I don’t know why, I just do.”

“Well…” Steven said. “I think if she knew you were there, she would have at least pointed it out-”

“She knew,” Yellow interjected, her voice thundering above there’s. Both Spinel and Steven looked up in shock at Yellow, who was wearing a morose expression. “She knew you were there. When White was in the palace, at least back then, nothing happened without her knowing. If you were in the same room as her, Spinel, even in hiding, then she was fully aware of your presence. No one could hide from her. I can’t even count the number of Gems that have tried…”

“But then…” Spinel said. “Why didn’t she tell me to come out? She was all about perfection back then, right, Yellow? I think a Spinel running loose around the _Diamond palace_ is a pretty good example of imperfection.”

“I’d be lying to you if I said I knew, Spinel,” Yellow replied. “It was almost impossible to imagine what White was thinking at any given moment. Even when she was speaking her mind, her inner thoughts might be saying something else entirely. She’s changed for the better now, like we _all_ have thanks to Steven...but back then, she was a mystery. And we thought that mystery was one better left unsolved.”

“I can imagine,” Steven said, silently ignoring the fact that Yellow had seemingly been snooping on their conversation this whole time. “You don’t have to answer this if you don’t want to, but how many times did she do the whole eye beam thing with you and Blue before that last time? You acted like you _knew_ it was coming.”

Yellow grimaced, a facade of her past-self shining through. “More times than I can count.” She scoffed. “She usually did it to teach us a lesson, although most of the time it only served for us to resent her even further. She used fear to keep us in line, like most Gems, and she was an expert at it. I cannot tell you how many Gems she sentenced to death for crimes that Blue or even _me_ would only give a few years in a bubble for. Mercilessness was her favorite character trait, and honestly, Steven, I’m still shocked that you managed to get through to her. We could only endure White back then. Changing her mind...was a concept unheard of to us.”

“...”

“...”

“...”

“...Man, that got dark.” Spinel chuckled. “First I talk about my traumatizing experience at the palace that I never told anyone about before now, and then Yellow over here describes what a monster White was. We need some more joy over here! I think I ruined the mood a bit!”

“I agree. We shouldn’t be focusing on the horror of the past.” Yellow said. “Rather, let us look to the future. Where prosperity and a _truly_ perfect empire, one where the “empire” doesn’t even exist, is now our reality. A better reality for all Gems and organics across the universe.”

“Yeah…” Steven said, happy that the gloomy mood had switched back to the usual cheerful one. “All we have to do is take care of Mirror, and then we’ll be on easy street.”

“...”

“...”

“...”

“Annnnnnnd you ruined the happy atmosphere.” Spinel said, throwing her arms in the air. “Nice job, Steven! Now we’re going to have another depressing conversation!”

“No, he’s right, Spinel,” Yellow said. “That age of prosperity has still not arrived. Not until everyone who seeks to end it, like Mirror, has been dealt with and shown that this is the true way, the better way for everyone to live.”

“That sounds kind of cultish.” Spinel quipped. “Forcing people to live according to our beliefs. Isn’t that what you did with the empire? I mean, sure we have more freedom, but...isn’t making Gems-”

“Spinel, Yellow just mishandled her words,” Steven said. “We’re not _forcing_ anyone to live by those rules. If they want to live another way, that’s fine by us. She’s just saying that we have to make sure that anybody who is actively _trying_ to get rid of how the majority of Gemkind acts today is stopped before they do any real damage.”

“Oh.” Spinel said. “But does Mirror even care about that?”

“They...don’t,” Steven said. “As far as I know, Mirror doesn’t care what state the empire is in. All they seemingly care about is keeping themselves a secret. Which is going to be a little hard, considering that according to you, every Gem in the galaxy knows who they are and is looking for them now.”

“We did what we had to do,” Yellow said. “We wanted to make sure that Mirror couldn't travel to any populated system without showing up on a radar.” She then sighed and stopped, right outside the towering door that led into her room. “Unfortunately, now we won’t be able to detect them at all, if my suspicions are correct.”

“What do you mean?” Steven asked. 

“I’ll tell you later, Steven,” Yellow said, placing a hand on the oversized button next to the door, resulting in it sliding open. She entered and was followed by the pair, and the door slowly shut behind them once they were inside, providing total security. “But as for now, I think it’s time for _you_ to talk, Steven. About what’s going on and why you’re here.”

“Of course,” Steven said, and he took a brief moment to look around the room, wanting to make sure that they were alone. Yellow’s room was gigantic in proportion to them, as one would expect, but also beautiful as well. Huge pots carrying plants lined the area, and several windows made up the opposite wall. Next to that wall was a desk, with several oversized instruments on it that one might find in a dentist's office. Steven wasn’t sure what Yellow could be using them for, but he could find out later. Like she had said, he owed them an explanation.

“Okay.” He said. “So, Yellow, I’m sure you already know about my outburst, correct?”

“I do,” Yellow replied. “And if you’re here because you need help rebuilding Little Homeworld, then I’m more than happy to-”

“No, that’s not it,” Steven said. “It’s something else. Essentially, my human friend Connie, who you met a few times, got caught up in the explosion.”

“Oh my,” Yellow said, looking genuinely concerned. “I do remember her. Is she alright?”

“I wish that were the case, but no,” Steven said, shaking his head. “She got hit in the head with a piece of rock, and although the wound itself is healing fine...she lost some of her memory. The memory of the past _four years,_ almost.”

“...”

“...”

“...Four years is a lot for a human. Especially someone that young, Yellow.” Steven sighed.

“No, I understand. Much has happened in the past four years.” Yellow said. “I’m just thinking to myself. But, Steven, I assume you came here because you want my help in restoring your friend’s memory?”

“That’s...exactly it, yeah,” Steven said. “And honestly, you and Blue and White were the only ones left I can think of. I don’t think any doctor from Earth can help her the way they need to, but I thought that since your technology is leagues above humanities, that you might be able to do something they couldn’t.”

“Well, I’m very happy that you thought of us, but I’m not sure how to help you,” Yellow admitted. “The other Diamonds and I can fix a problem for almost any Gem, whether it be physical, emotional, or mental, but we don’t know anything about how to care for organics other than giving them lots of water and keeping them in the sun.”

“I know. But it’s not _your_ help specifically that I need.” Steven said, before clearing his throat. “Do you know any Gems whose former job was to study organic life? You know, figure out how it works, how it functions...anything like that?”

“Hmm…” Yellow hummed, turning away from him and staring out the window. “We _do..._ but they will be rather hard to find. As I’m sure you know, before the dissolution of the colonies and the military, we had little care for organic life. We simply exterminated it in any world we came across if it got in the way, and little else. We took a few notes on particularly noteworthy creatures, humanity included, but most of the time we ignored it.” She hummed again and then stood up. “However, there were a few Gems that were assigned to doing such a thing. Scientists who were more...intrigued by organics than most Gems. They wanted to make it their main study. Find out the differences between them and us. After some discussion, we allowed it, but only if those scientists didn’t share their findings with anyone else.”

“Wait, why was that a rule?” Steven asked. “Why wouldn’t you want anyone learning more about organics?”

“I’m not entirely sure,” Yellow said. “And surprisingly, it was _Blue_ of all people who requested that this rule be put into place. I don’t know what was going through her kind that day, but White allowed it and it was put into place.”

“Blue...hold on,” Steven said. “When did this all happen? Before or _after_ the Rebellion?”

“After,” Yellow said. “Approximately two thousand, three hundred, and seventy-four years after the end of the war.”

“...”

“…”

“What is it?”

“Oh, nothing. But I think I might have an idea of why Blue would want to keep organic research a secret…” Steven mumbled, narrowing his eyes. “But okay. That’s good. That means there might be a chance. Where are these Gems now?”

“On remote outposts,” Yellow replied. “Even after we told them that they could do whatever they wanted now, they chose to stick with their research. I suppose they just liked it so much that they never wanted to stop. But we _do_ have the exact outposts they're at. We require them to report to Homeworld and make a note in the records anytime they warp somewhere to gain more research about organic life.”

“Great!” Steven exclaimed. “Maybe this will be even easier than expected. But...do you think any of them will be able to help Connie? Do you know if they’ve studied humans? Because according to Pearl, most of the Gems who studied Earth life are currently a pile of shards.”

“Yes, the Lab on Earth, I recently learned about it and the experiments that were conducted there,” Yellow said, nodding along. “But I do think that a small handful of the scientists working there survived and became organic researchers. I should be able to find them easily enough. If anyone can help your friend, then it’ll be them.”

“Not sure how comfortable I am with that, since Pearl called the place a slaughterhouse…” Steven muttered, before sucking his breath in. “...But if they can help Connie, then I’m willing to do anything to convince them to help.”

“Very well!” Yellow explained. “In that case, let us go to the Homeworld archives and see what we can find. We should be able to find out where they are relatively quickly.”

“Oh...the Homeworld archives,” Steven said. “There’s actually a second reason I came here, Yellow. Connie’s injury and amnesia took precedence, but there was something else I was hoping to do.”

“And what is it?”

“Well, I plan to look through those archives and try to find out any information I have on the Traitor. The original Traitor, from the lab.” Steven explained. “I thought that since Mirror said they’re connected to them, that we might be able to figure out some info about them. Use it against them.”

“I see...although I am only vaguely aware of who the original Traitor is…” Yellow said. “This sounds like a good idea. I’m honestly surprised we hadn’t thought of it before. I suppose we just assumed that there wouldn’t be anything about them even in there, since all the records of their existence on Earth were destroyed, thanks to that Pearl.”

“Yeah, looking back, that was probably a bad move. Who knows how helpful that information could be right now.” Steven said. “But I think that if there’s any info about them _anywhere_ , it would be in those archives.”

“Agreed,” Yellow said, before putting a hand to her chin. “I have an idea, Steven. I think we can multitask your two reasons. I can look up and try to find the locations of those scientists, while you and Spinel if she wishes, can look up the Traitor and see if it gives us any hints about Mirror. This way, we can meet up once we’re both done and get both done at the same time, or at least make good progress on both.”

“That’s...not a bad idea,” Steven said, before looking over at Spinel, who had been surprisingly waiting patiently for them to finish. “Is this okay with you?”

“Of course!” Spinel said. “Sure, we may just be looking through some dusty old archives, but I can’t imagine what kind of information might be in there! All those just secrets…” She giggled and wrung her hands together.

“I’ll take that as a yes,” Steven said, before looking back at Yellow. “Alright. We’re both in. Let’s head down to the archives.”

“Excellent idea,” Yellow said, and without saying another word she left the room, Steven and Spinel following close behind yet again. 

And surprisingly, Steven actually felt like the situation was going to end well.

And this was a feeling that eluded him for what had felt like forever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And Steven has finally made it to Homeworld. I hoped I nailed Spinel's personality well enough, as well as the environment of Homeworld. But that's up for you to decide. Anyway, this is only the beginning of this arc, and there's still a lot of twists and turns to get through.
> 
> Until next time.


	33. Neglect

The walk to the Homeworld archives was a lot more exhausting than Steven could have ever predicted.

It wasn’t the extremely long time it took to get there, as Steven was sure that he could outwalk any human on Earth by at least a hundred miles, or the constant stares he was getting from other Gems, thanks to White’s message to the universe that everyone should keep their distance. No, it was Spinel. She was practically clinging to him the whole time, seeing the walk as a perfect opportunity to ask Steven questions on what he had been doing while he had been away from Homeworld. (So basically, what was going on overall.)

And she _just didn’t stop._

“So, Steven, what’s the best way to make friends with people? I’ve been trying, but when I start making jokes, everyone looks at me funny and tries to sneak away in secret.”

“Steven, why do humans live for such a short amount of time? Why can’t you be immortal like Gems?”

“So...Steven...got a girlfriend?” (That one earned her the dirtiest look Steven had ever given someone, resulting in her somehow shrinking down to the side of a pebble, Gem included.)

And these were only a small sample. So it warmed Steven’s heart when Yellow announced, “We’re here”, and the three of them came upon a very large door, disguised to look like a wall. Yellow pressed her hand against a secret panel, the door slid open, and Steven suddenly felt like he had inhaled a huge amount of dust the next time he took a breath, causing him to wonder just how _old_ the air was in that place and how long it had been since someone last went into it.

The trio entered, and Steven was visibly shocked by what he saw. Forget the Throne room. Forget anything he had seen in the Temple. Forget _everything_. This room was the biggest room he had ever seen, by far. So big that it shouldn’t even be able to fit inside the wall, considering the size appearance from the outside. He couldn’t see the end of it, and the ceilings were so big and tall that small clouds were forming at the top of it, carrying water vapor thousands of years old. Steven made sure to step around the areas these clouds were over, lest he suddenly get drenched.

But what was most impressive was the _shelves_. There were giant shelf-like storage units lining the room, as one might see at a Home Depot. They reached the ceiling and were packed full of small glowing cubes, which flickered on approach. Steven thought he could hear voices coming from one of them and inched back, his immediate assumption being that they were somehow alive.

Yellow noticed his reaction and chuckled, walking over and taking one between her thumb and index finger. 

“Don’t worry, Steven.” She said. “They’re not going to bite you. These cubes are simply storage devices, and the voices you’re hearing are recordings. Some of them are recordings of events, some of them have written knowledge, and some of them have...other things.” She mumbled, waving this off. “But regardless, everything you see here is the sum total of all knowledge gathered by Gemkind. Pick one up and see what you find. Pink used to do the exact same thing for fun, playing a game to see what she got each time and trying to predict which cube held what.”

Steven, although slightly irked at the comparison between him and his mother, listened to Yellow and grabbed a nearby cube, feeling it in his hands. It was a lot heavier than he expected, maybe weighing a little over twenty pounds, and felt warm, like it had just been put through a dryer. Steven turned it over in his hands a few times before tapping expectantly on one side, and instantly the top of the cube opened up, and a light shined from within it. Steven dropped the cube in shock, and the light solidified until it took the form of a large screen, with files similar to the ones he had sent in the moon base computer showing up. He glanced up at Yellow, who smiled and gestured for him to go further, and so he tapped on one of the files and it opened up, displaying pages and pages of written knowledge.

Of course, the only problem was that he couldn’t read it, as it was in a much older dialect of Gem writing that he couldn’t understand. But there were still pictures, displaying images of what looked like kindergartens, along with several types of Gems.

“Ah,” Yellow said. “A kindergarten performance report. There are millions of those in here. You may as well put that back and look for something more interesting, Steven. Most of those are repetitive repeats of “everything is fine and the colonization process can proceed”, written over and over again.” She explained, chuckling again.

“I think I’m good,” Steven said, tapping the cube again and causing it to close itself. He placed it back where he found it and turned to the two Gems, where Yellow was still looking at him and Spinel was sniffing and then repeatedly licking one of the cubes for whatever reason.

“...I think we should head to our two sections.” He said. “So where in this room can me and Spinel find information on that Lab? I assume there had to be _something_ here about it…”

“Oh, most certainly,” Yellow said. “However, you won’t find it here. These archives are the more...public ones, so to speak. Restricted for elite Gems only, but still. The ones we’re looking for, old information about Earth, is limited to Diamonds only. We had it all classified to the highest level after the end of the Rebellion. And I’m sure you noticed, we had most information about Pink...covered up.”

“Yeah, I did notice a distinct lack of awareness about her among some of the more recent Gems I came across so in the past,” Steven said, recalling the majority of the Ruby squad’s ignorance of who she even was. “But how do we get there? Some secret elevator?”

“As a matter of fact, yes. That’s exactly it.” Yellow said. “You and...well, I suppose it’s alright for Spinel to come with us as well. We made these archives fully public after you arrived, but unfortunately, hardly any Gems have taken a liking to them. Only the more scholarly ones.”

“Probably because hardly anyone knows where to look for anything…” Steven mumbled. “But okay then. Where is this elevator?”

“We’re standing on top of it,” Yellow said, and before Steven could ask what she was talking about, Yellow clapped her hands twice, and immediately the floor began to shake. Spinel dramatically grabbed Steven for balance as he froze up in horror from the several dozen earthquake stair flashbacks that were unleashed upon him, meanwhile Yellow just smiled as a large circular area of the floor suddenly had a line formed around it. It shook for a few more seconds before slowly lowering itself, and the main room began to fall out of view as a new one presented itself. This one was much darker, with the only source of light being the cubes, looking like a million fist-sized fireflies flickering in the dark. It was much smaller than the room above, but still massive enough that it made even the Diamond mech look small in comparison.

The lift eventually reached the bottom after a minute or so, and Yellow stepped off, before frowning as she noticed Steven’s expression, the same one a person might make if a polar bear was charging at them.

“Steven?” She asked. “Are you alright? If that shocked you, I’m sorry. I suppose I should have told you about the elevator beforehand, but I knew how much Spinel liked secret entrances, so I thought-”

“No, it’s fine. It just...reminded me of a bad dream I used to have.” Steven said shakily, before deciding that he better change the topic before Yellow got any more suspicious. He wasn’t sure if she knew everything that had happened in his dream like the Gems, but he preferred that she not, lest she go to the rest of the Diamonds and they descend on him in a storm of worry. “Also...Spinel likes secret entrances?”

“Oh, definitely!” Spinel said enthusiastically, letting go of him and jumping off the platform like a slinky. “There are actually tons all over the palace, made by the builders in case they had to make a quick escape.”

“Wait, why would the _builders_ have to make a quick escape?” Steven asked. “In case the whole thing collapsed during construction?”

“Err...no,” Yellow said sheepishly, putting on a rather shameful face. “White had a very specific building code back then, as she wanted the palace to be as perfect as she was, quote on quote. And unfortunately, since the only thing she could ever see as perfect back then was herself, those builders could never meet her insane guidelines. So they planned to finish the palace the best way they could and then flee using those hidden passages.” She crossed her arms and gazed at the floor, her insane levels of shame radiating throughout the room through the form of an electric tingle on Steven’s and Spinel’s necks. “What was waiting for them on the other side was a squad of Quartzes, and I’m sure you can guess the rest.”

“Why do you look so guilty?” Steven asked, still processing that massive info dump in his mind. “Wasn’t White the one behind this, not you?”

“Steven, like most things White did, Blue and I stood by and did nothing while she shattered them,” Yellow replied. “I try not to think of these things too often though. If I did, I would never have enough time to fix those horrible fusion experiments I made.”

Steven was about to ask her what she meant by “fix those horrible fusion experiments”, until he realized that they had probably wasted enough time already. He gulped and stepped off the platform, which floated back up the second he left it. All three of them watched it go until it clicked back in its original position, causing the entire area to be covered in mostly-darkness. Like a nice twilight setting on a hill, Steven could see enough to make out the two Gems standing in front of him, but not enough to see any higher or further than twenty feet away.

“Very well then,” Yellow said. “Now, Steven, if you’re going to be looking for information on this Traitor, then I believe that information on Earth should be about three shelves to your right. I’m not sure where the exact location of the lab data is, so I’m sorry, but you’re just going to have to look normally.”

“It’s okay,” Steven said, biting his lip so hard he drew blood, which healed itself a second later. “I have Spinel with me. With her helping, I’m sure we can find it in no time.”

“Yeah! This is going to be the best fun I’ve had all day! Come on, Steven!” Spinel said, before turning to the right and running into the darkness, not waiting for Steven to follow. He stared at her as she disappeared from view, and then looked back up at Yellow.

“So where are you going to be?”

“The other side of the room,” Yellow said. “If you need help, just call out for me. But please be patient.” She requested. “Sound takes a while to travel in here.”

“Yeah, I can imagine…” Steven said, before nodding and waving at Yellow. “Alright. I’ll see you around. And...thanks, by the way. For doing all this for me. It means a lot.”

“Of course, Steven,” Yellow said. “We’re your family. We’ll always be up for helping you, no matter what the problem might be.”

Yellow then turned heel and stomped away, her footsteps making the cubes shake in their holding spots. Steven stood silently as she vanished just like Spinel had, before turning around and beginning his walk into the darkness, wishing that he knew how to use his Gem as a flashlight like everyone else did. Ironically, what seemed like one of the easiest abilities for a Gem was also one that he never figured out how to even activate in the first place.

But as Steven kept going, he began willing himself _really_ hard to do so. As Yellow’s footsteps finally stopped, Steven suddenly felt very alone, as if someone was about to pounce on him at any moment. The light from the cubes even seemed to dim as any sign of Yellow presence vanished, as if they hadn’t been programmed to see _him_ as a Diamond. He suddenly stopped where he was, only one shelf down, and called out a specific name, knowing that there was another Gem lurking around in here. He felt slightly embarrassed doing this, feeling like a child asking for a nightlight, but the desperation to overcome the creepiness best this a thousand times over.

“Spinel!” He called out, his voice echoing throughout the room, as the pink Gem had vanished into the darkness soon after Yellow left. “Where are you?”

There was no answer. Some of the cubes lit up slightly in response to his voice, but then faded as it died away. Steven listened carefully for any signs of the lanky Gem, such as the rubbery sounds that usually accompanied her as she walked, but he heard nothing. 

“She must be so far away already that she can’t even hear-”

“Hey, Steven.”

“GAH!” Steven exclaimed, literally jumping ten feet in the air at the sudden sound of Spinel’s voice. Still floating, he whipped around and looked down to see her smiling up at him with a rather bemused expression. Once he realized that it was her and not some crazy ax murderer that had someone snuck in, he drifted back down with a sigh of relief, trying to restrain himself from throttling her.

“God, Spinel, you gave me a heart attack.” He said, once both his feet were back on solid ground. “How did you sneak up on me like that?”

“I don’t know. I was just as surprised as you were.” Spinel replied, shrugging. “I guess you just needed to keep your ears open!” She then grabbed both sides of her head and stretched them into a vague ear shape, before enlarging them to be as big as her fist. She looked at Steven and giggled, expecting him to laugh back, but frowned and silently pouted when his immediate response was a stony stare.

“I was keeping my ears open.” He then said. “You know what, just forget it for now. Maybe sound travels differently or acts weird in this place. But where have you been? Looking for the cubes we need?”

“No, I’ve just been scrounging about, following you, you know. All normal stuff.” Spinel said. “What about you?”

“Looking for you, actually…” Steven mumbled, before sighing. “But nevermind that for now. Can you please stick with me from now on unless I say so? I don’t think it’ll be a good idea to get lost in this place.”

“If you say so, Steven! Not, how close do you want me to be?” She asked. “Five feet? Three feet? _One_ foot-”

“Just...where you are now.” 

“Oh.” Spinel said, looking disappointed. 

Steven felt a twinge of guilt for having put this face in Spinel, but he knew that she would break out of this mood the second he started moving again. So almost instantly, the two then started their long walk towards the end of the shelf again, Steven keeping a close eye on Spinel to make sure that she kept her promise and didn’t vanish out of thin air again. But thankfully, she kept herself close to his side the entire time, as he requested, occasionally turning her head to peer at the various cubes that lit up. Every now and then Steven could hear voices from them like the ones above, although for some reason these voices sounded a lot more...staticky. Like they had been corrupted.

And once they made it past two shelves, after a ten-minute walk that felt more like an hour one, he stopped, resulting in Spinel almost running into his back.

“Alright. We’re here. This is where Yellow said the cube we’re looking for should be.” He announced. “Spinel, start grabbing cubes and look through them, but be careful not to break any. I mean it. I’ll do the same, and if you find anything that mentions a lab or humans, tell me so we can take it back to Yellow so she can translate it for us. I’m betting these are all going to be in that ancient language anyway…”

“Are you sure?” Spinel said.

“What, about the language?”

“No, about this being the right shelf.” Spinel iterated said. “I’m pretty sure Yellow said that it was _three_ shelves down, I think we’re in the wrong place, Steven.”

Steven paused after this statement and tried to recall what Yellow had said, eventually concluding that she had said two, not three. He was _sure_ of it. And also, he trusted his own memories better than Spinels. He was willing to bet that even if this _wasn’t_ the right shelf and that they moved forward to the correct one, she’d make another comment on how it was right either.

“No, I think this is where we’re supposed to be. If it’s not, then we’ll keep moving.” He said. “So...start looking. And again, be careful. Yellow allowed us to poke around in here on our own, and I don’t want to ruin that hospitality by smashing these _Diamond-only_ ancient records.”

Spinel, although briefly confounded by Steven’s claim that she was incorrect, did what he said nonetheless and pulled off an Earth salute, before walking over to a random cube and tapping it. Steven didn’t look at her any further to see what she had found, instead turning to his own line of cubes that lay vacant. He snatched up a random one and tapped it, causing a new screen to appear, this time with an image of Earth. He let out another sigh of relief and turned to show Spinel, who was staring blankly at her cube.

“See, Spinel?” He said, pointing towards the screen. “We’re in the right place.”

“...”

“...Spinel?” He repeated, just now noticing that she had stopped moving altogether, which was a very rare thing with her. He set the cube back down and slowly approached her, hoping that he hadn’t activated some bad memories with that image. “Spinel? Are you okay?”

“...”

“Okay, Spinel, if something’s wrong I need you to-”

“It’s her…” Spinel said softly, her hands now trembling as the cube she was holding clattered to the floor and flickered out.

“Her?” Steven asked, suddenly getting a cold, sick feeling in his stomach, like he had just eaten a piece of raw chicken. “Spinel, who are you talking about?”

“...I was right.” She said. “We’re in the wrong section. It was three, not two. We’re...somewhere else.” She then turned around and glared at Steven, an almost angry look in her eyes. He stopped back on instinct from this stare, as it was one he hadn’t seen in almost a year, when she was ready to throw him off the top of the injector. She motioned towards the cube and Steven looked at it cautiously, before slowly bending down and picking it up. Keeping his eyes on Spinel the whole time, he activated the cube, and this time it lit up with a _pink_ light and an image of-

He gasped and dropped the cube just like Spinel had, and once again it clattered to the floor and switched off. He finally realized what she had been talking about. Because that cube had just shown him an image of _Pink Diamond_. And while this wouldn’t be unusual for the Earth section, this wasn’t a photo of Pink on Earth. No, it was just one of her being stuck in the tower, as he had been.

They weren’t in the Earth section. 

They had stumbled upon his mother’s _personal archives_. Probably _everything_ he had ever wanted to know about her was in here.

And he knew he had to get Spinel out of her as fast as possible before she threw a fit and started toppling shelves. Because if she destroyed these cubes, perhaps a very large portion of all the Diamonds had left of her, then things could get _very_ bad _very_ quickly when it came to his and her relationship with them.

“...Hey, Spinel.” He said, trying to sound as casual as possible. “I think we should just get out of here and-”

_“No,”_ Spinel said. “No, we’re not going anywhere, Steven.”

“H-hey, now hold on,” Steven said, taking a step back, positive that he was about to attack him for forcing her to live through god knows how many memories just now. “I know you don’t like my mom, but we already went through this. Attacking me won’t change anything. So just calm down, follow me, and we can forget this ever happened.”

“...What? No!” Spinel said, shaking her head. “What made you think I was going to attack you? No, now that we’re here, I have something else in mind.”

“And...what’s that?”

“I want to know.” Spinel said. “I caught a glimpse of what that cube said. It said that _Pink Diamond_ herself had written it down and placed this cube here. Don’t you get it? I’m sure that every single cube in this section was _personally_ put here by her! Her own little memory vault that she could come to at any time! And I...and I…” She repeated. “...And I want to know if she put a cube of her _abandonment_ of me in here. If she left _anything_ about me in here, in fact! Or if she just left me to rot both physically and informationally, fully intending to let Gemkind forget about me forever!”

“Spinel…” Steven started, ignoring the fact that “informationally” was a word that didn’t exist. “I’m sure that she put something about you here. You were her playmate! The Diamonds gave you to her! Even if she didn’t write anything about you, I’m sure either they did or they told someone else to-”

“Don’t give me all that!” Spinel said, swatting his hand away as he tried to approach her. “They _knew_ I existed and what I looked like, that’s how they recognized me back on Earth, but we met only once! And you remember my story with White from earlier! That was hardly even a meet! I guess she just _knew_ I was there since that’s what Yellow claimed, but...but…” She growled and pulled on her hair. “...The fact that no one ever came to the Garden, despite them never seeing me again after that or asking Pink about me, proves that they forgot! If there’s any information in here about me, it would have to be put down by _her_. And that...is final, Steven! So stay here and look for whatever you want! If I don’t find my abandonment in here, I’m going to grab an empty cube and write it myself so anyone who comes down here _knows_ what she did to me!”

And with that, Spinel walked back to the shelf and grabbed another random cube, opened it, inspected it for a moment, then tossed it on the floor. Steven was about to stop her, before realizing that now was not the best time to interrupt again, especially since she was clearly angry with him for accidentally bringing them here. He was about to walk off, fully content (but not really) with letting Spinel do her thing...

...Until he realized that there was a memory he wanted to see as well. Because Pearl had told him that his mother knew about the Lab and the Traitor, but never had the time to shut it down. If this was true...could she have made a cube of this event and sent a messenger to Homeworld to put it in this vault? Maybe? Possibly?

Hopefully? 

And now that the thought was in his brain, Steven wanted to know. He wanted to know if she _truly_ didn’t have the time to do anything, or if she just ignored it. And of course, there was the third option, where he would find nothing about it in here, but just like Spinel, Steven had gotten sucked in. All this information...anything about his mother that he could possibly want to learn...it was all available to him.

He wasn’t just about to _walk away from it_. Not while he still had the chance. So Steven took one last glance at Spinel, who now had a pile of cubes three feet high beside her, and turned to the shelves, setting his eyes on the first cube he saw and opening it. Just like the last time, an image of Pink Diamond showed up, and just like the time before _that_ , scribbles that were actually a language he couldn’t understand appeared below it. But this didn’t matter. Steven knew what he was looking for, and the images alone gave him a good idea of what was going on.

For instance, this one was obviously the transcript of a meeting between Pink and the other Diamonds, as it showed several images of such an event. Pink appeared to be begging for something, and Yellow and Blue were clearly having mixed feelings about whatever it was. Well, only Blue was. Yellow was just scowling at her. Steven was about to put the cube away, until he scrolled down a little further and saw an image with a triangle symbol on it. Intrigued, he pressed it and immediately the image sprung to life, with sound bursting out of the cube. After a brief moment of shock, Steven realized that he had just activated a video, so he tapped it again to pause it and then walked a little further away, not wanting to disturb Spinel with...whatever she was looking at now. The pile of cubes next to her was now almost as tall as he was, and Steven hoped that Yellow wouldn’t be upset when she saw it.

But once he was a decent distance away, Steven tapped the screen again and set the cube down on the ground in front of him before taking a seat, like a person at a movie theatre. The figures on the screen moved again, and Steven heard a voice coming from one of them that he hadn’t heard in a very long time.

“Please, Yellow!” Pink begged, looking ready to fall to her knees. “I’m just asking you to help me and Blue preserve life on this planet! We can’t do it alone! There are too many organics here, and-”

“I’m going to stop you right there, Pink.” Yellow interrupted. She then turned to Blue and scowled. _“Why_ did you agree to this again? Giving her an entirely new planet to put all the organics from Earth no? What were you thinking giving in to her demands? Next she’ll be asking for a whole _solar system_ to put those creatures in!”

“Yellow, Pink said that this is what would make her happy, so I don’t want to take it away from her,” Blue replied. “She requested that we move all the organics from Earth to a previously colonized planet that was still capable of supporting...this kind of life, and told me that she just needed our help to do so. A few hundred dropships, that’s all. Nothing she can’t handle.”

_“A few hundred?!”_ Yellow screamed. “Ludicrous! Pink, you can barely fly your own ship! How do you expect to order around a whole fleet? Not to mention that most of the organics on that world don’t seem to take too kindly to our colonization efforts, so attempting to move them _all_ is impossible!” 

“It won’t be!” Pink contested. “Almost any Gem we sent to collect them will be stronger! It doesn’t matter if they don’t want to go, we can simply make them! And while I…” She looked away and lost her momentum for a second. “...Don’t want any of them to get hurt, it’s for their own safety! This way, we can combine the Earth, obtain all its resources, but _still_ save all the life! So _please_ , Yellow, let me do this. And then we can carry in with the colonization! It's as easy as that!”

Yellow growled and pinched her forehead between her fingers. “I’m sorry, Pink, but no. This is too much to ask for. Maybe one or two organics would be acceptable, but every _single one on the planet?_ If I remember correctly, and from what you’ve shown me, there are _billions_ of those filthy creatures running around! It’ll be ten thousand years before you even manage to collect _half_ of them, and in the meantime _more_ will show up! And if _White_ caught wind of this…” She shook her head and stood up perfectly straight. “...She’d come to Earth and colonize it herself, without a care for your precious organics. Do you want that to happen, Pink? For White to take charge of what was supposed to be your first colony, one that you _begged us for_ who knows how many times?”

“I...no,” Pink said softly. “I don’t. But I _also_ don’t want to abandon the creatures on Earth! They have lives of their own! One species even shows signs of intelligence! They’ve built cities and made tools and created a language! They’ve even communicated with us!”

“We’ve come across “intelligent” species on our own worlds before, Pink, and they were nothing but trouble.” Yellow spat. “I don’t care if these creatures have invented _space-travel_ , if they’re actively getting in the way of the colonization process and fighting back, I want them exterminated. We once fought a war with an organic species that managed to occupy their entire solar system. Hundreds of Gems were shattered by the time we managed to kill them all. _Blue’s_ Gems, destroyed by those disgusting creatures and humiliating our empire. I will _not_ allow that to happen again. Destroy them, Pink, or I will send a warship there and do it myse-”

“Now hold on,” Blue interjected, getting between the two of them. “I think I may have a solution for this. Pink...these “intelligent” creatures. Are they the type of organic that you want to save most of all?”

“Well...yes…” Pink admitted, looking like she wasn’t sure where Blue was getting with this.

“And will saving them make you happy?”

“I guess…”

“Then here is my solution.” Blue started. “Yellow is right. That many dropships are too much to ask for. When you told us you wanted to save life on Earth, I didn’t think you meant _all_ of it. Just some of it. But then you asked to meet and...well, here we are. But yes, I agree with Yellow. We can’t save all of Earth's organics, or even a hundredth of them. There are too many.”

“What? But, Blue…” Pink whined. “Just a few minutes ago you were fully onboard to-”

“No, she’s right,” Blue interjected. “Saving all the organics on Earth is nothing more than wishful thinking, Pink. But like I was talking about, there is a solution. If you want this...intelligent species-”

“They’re called humans.”

“Very well. If you want these _humans_ to be saved so much, then I believe…” Blue leaned forward and smiled as if to comfort Pink, despite not actually being in the room with her. “...That we can make a sort of “zoo” for a handful to live in.”

“Wha…a zoo?!” Pink said incredulously. “What do you mean?”

“Well, on some planets, there are structures called “zoos” that hold the remaining organic life forms in them,” Blue explained. “I propose we build one for these humans, _in space_ so they don’t get in the way of the colonization process no matter what...and put enough of them in there so their type doesn’t die out and you can have as many humans as you want, forever.”

“It’s “species”, not “type”,” Pink said. “And that’s not what I want! Even if we take a hundred or so, there will still be hundreds of _thousands_ of them that we’ll have to... _exterminate…”_ She growled, forcing the word out. “...In order to finish the colony! I know you said it’s impossible, but taking a few and ripping them away from their families is just as cruel as leaving a few behind! It’s...I don’t want this, Blue!”

“Pink,” Yellow said sternly. “Blue has offered you a solution to your little organic problem. One _much_ more generous than White or I would give you. You wanted to save these humans. You care about their existence. Blue is giving you a chance to do that. A hundred or a hundred-thousand, their “species” will survive, and isn’t that the point? Isn’t that what you _want?”_

“You’re talking about them like they’re one giant being, not individuals with thoughts and feelings of their own!” Pink protested. “So _no_ , this isn’t what I want! Either send the dropships to Earth and save all the organics, or I’ll-”

“You’ll _what?”_ A sudden voice hissed, and everyone immediately shut their mouths and turned towards the sound of the voice. There, standing in the doorway of the moon base, at the very bottom of the steps, was Pink’s former Pearl, now bleached White and possessed by...White. Pink’s eyes widened as she stood up and backed away in fear, Pearl tensed up and tried not to stare at her damaged predecessor, and Blue and Yellow took the most formal expressions they could muster, any pretense of anger, or any other emotion for that matter, gone. Just how White liked it.

“W-White,” Pink said shakily, as the possessed Pearl floated up at the stairs and came to a stop no less than five feet away. “What are you doing here? I thought-”

“Oh, Starlight, look at the mess you’ve gotten yourself into,” White said, ignoring Pink’s question entirely. “I would say I’m disappointed, if I hadn’t seen this coming. I should have known that you would grow too attached to these lower-life forms. And you two...” She turned towards Blue and Yellow, who flinched under her gaze. “...I _am_ disappointed in you, for not realizing this would happen. You were well aware of Pink’s fondness for her pets, yet you let her colonize a planet rich with them. Unacceptable foresight, on your part. I’d say you are just as much to blame for this obsession as she is.”

Both of the Diamonds immediately looked terrified at this accusation, and for a second Steven (who was, frankly, wishing he had brought some popcorn) thought they were about to fall on their knees and beg for mercy. None of that happened, surprisingly, but they certainly were quick to open their mouths and try to explain the situation.

“Forgive us, White, she tried to goad us with her-”

“Then she started making complaints left and right-”

“And now she wants to use our dropships to transports _every_ organic-”

“And she refused my generous offering of a zoo for the humans-”

“And then-”

“And then-”

“And _then-”_

And then they both spoke up simultaneously, saying the exact same thing in the exact same tone.

“It’s not our fault! Please forgive us, White!” They both shrieked, and for a moment, all was silent as White took this in before nodding her head. Just once, as if she was simply lowering it.

“Perhaps.” He said. “We shall discuss this later on in more detail, when we have finished dealing with the problems at present.” She turned back to Pink, who gulped and did this sort of slow bow-nod thing at White. “Pink. Is what they’re saying true? That you want to help _all_ the organics on Earth, and that you refused Blue’s offer of creating a zoo for these humans?”

“...Yes,” Pink replied hesitantly, knowing there was no purpose in attempting to lie. “But you have to understand, White! You know how much my... _pets_ mean to me! This colonization process will kill them all, and I can’t bear to see them-”

“Hush, Starlight. I understand.” White said. “Which is why I’m offering a solution of my own. Yellow wants to exterminate all of these creatures. Blue wants to save a small portion of them to satiate you. And _you_ want to rescue them all. I think I may have an option that works out for _all_ of us.”

“What is it?” Pink asked.

“Simple,” White said. “I take over this colony, and you go back to Homeworld.”

“What?!” Pink exclaimed. “How does that work out for “all of us”, White?! What are you-”

“I’m not done yet, Starlight,” White interjected. “You will go back to Homeworld, and I will _erase_ your memory of this little Earth incident. No more memories, no more organics. No more organics, not more problems. No more problems, no more _imperfections_ on your part.”

“Wha...WHAT?!” Pink, Blue, and Yellow exclaimed, before White snapped back towards the latter two and they immediately shut up again. Pink, however, did not. “What do you mean, erase my memories? How would you even…?”

“Do I need to spell it out for you, Starlight?” White asked. “I would imbue you with my White light, fix everything that needs to be fixed, and when you go back to your old self, you will have forgotten everything about Earth. It will become one of my colonies, and I will colonize the way it should be. And the first step, of course, will be to exterminate all these organics. Before you’re even aware Earth exists! This way, you don’t get sad over their deaths, and they will never bother you again. Everything will go back to normal.”

For a moment, everyone just stared at White, shocked at her proposal. Finally, after what felt like hours of silence, Blue spoke up, her voice trembling like she was being held at gunpoint.

“White…” She started, and instantly all eyes were upon her. “I think this is too extreme of a method. I understand that it will...solve all these problems with the organics, but don’t you think you’re taking this too far? Pink is a Diamond! Even if she is acting this way, she shouldn’t be _treated_ this way! Not like that!”

“Treated this way?” White echoed, before chuckling. “I find it amusing that you should say that, Blue, considering how many times you’ve locked Pink away in that tower without my permission for her “organic problems”. Shutting away the light of a Diamond is no minor offense, Blue, and especially without the say of _all_ the rest.”

“I…” Blue started, leaning back and then looking away. “But you knew about it and you never complained and so I thought-”

“That I was okay with it?” White said. “Blue, you should know by now that you should _always_ ask me about matters when it comes to Pink before deciding them on your own. Our precious Starlight shouldn’t be shut away like that, kept from the light of her home and her Gems. It’s not right for a Diamond to be put in such a place.”

“Then...then I promise I will not do it again?” Blue offered, praying that White would be merciful. “I don’t understand why you haven’t commented on this before, but if you don’t want time to do this, then I will absolutely _not-”_

“I was waiting to see if you could figure it out by yourself. I was waiting to see if you realized that your pathetic excuse for a punishment wasn’t working. It seems I waited for nothing.” White said, before shaking her head and smiling even wider. “After this is over, Blue, please come to my chambers. We need to talk.”

“I-! You…...yes. Of course.” Blue said softly, accepting defeat. “It will be done.”

“Excellent,” White said. “I trust that we will come to an agreement with this situation. Now then…” She looked back at Pink. “Pink. What do you think of this solution?”

“I-”

“Good. I’m glad we agree.” White interjected. “Now, Pink, please hold still. This will only take a moment. Yellow, Blue, you may look away if you wish.” The Pearl’s eye then began glowing bright white, and Pink felt a surge of fear rushing towards her as it aimed its head directly at her Gem. Blue and Yellow gasped but didn’t turn away as White said they could, instead watching with wide eyes, as if silently saying, “Is this really happening”? Pink, meanwhile, was too scared to move, completely unable to dodge what was coming. And as for Pearl? Well, she was standing there with a horrified expression on her face, looking like she was about to tackle the possessed Pearl to the ground.

But then at the last second, just before White fired, a wild scream stopped it all.

“WAIT!” Yellow interjected, and the glow from the Pearl’s eye faded and the smile turned into a frown as everyone looked at Yellow, who knew she only had a second to respond before she faced a punishment ten times worse than the one Pink was about to receive. “White...wait. You don’t have to do this. It’s too early. If you...do _that_ , then she will never learn her lesson. I have an alternate solution.”

“Is that so?” White asked, her voice emotionless but somehow tingling with rage at the same time. “What is your proposal, Yellow?”

“Pink loves organics. She refuses to see them as the inferior beings that they are, and that they shouldn’t be interacted with, but eliminated.” Yellow stated, before swallowing hard. “I propose that we send her to a planet that will _show her_ that organics are nothing but inferior, mindless beasts, and soon I’m sure she will see all organics this way. Then...we send her back to Earth, and have her _personally_ wipe it clean of the creatures.”

“Wait, WHA-” Pink started, but White interjected again, something that she had a clear talent for. 

“An interesting proposal.” She noted. “While it may take longer, I do suppose it will take care of her love for these lower-life forms once and for all. Having her experience it firsthand would be a good way to show Starlight the truth. Blue, what do you think?”

“I...I think it’s a good idea.” Blue said quickly. “I think-”

“I’ll do it! I’ll let you build your zoo!” Pink suddenly said, staring down at the ground with a dark expression. “I’ll let you build your zoo, and I’ll wipe out the rest of Earth’s life forms. You won’t have to worry about me caring for her after that. I...I promise.”

“...”

“...”

“...”

“Are you sure, _Starlight?_ ” White asked. “Yellow’s proposal is a much better idea. If you successfully colonize this world, then your love for organics might come with it, and will be in your mind when you eventually colonize others. It will continue to be an imperfection unless we stop it.”

“Then I’ll stop it myself,” Pink said. “I’ll _personally_ make sure that by the end of this colonization, that I have no love for any organic beings. But not by erasing my memories, or showing me how horrible they are, or personally eradicating them all.”

“Then how?” Yellow asked.

“I...I’ll figure that out. But this is still _my colony,_ no matter how often I ask for your assistance or advice.” Pink said. “I have to shape up and do things...myself. Like a Diamond would.”

“...”

“...”

“...Well, I’m glad you finally made your choice,” White commented. “Although I don’t think this “zoo” is a good influence. You might visit these creatures after the colonization and they could rekindle your likeness for them. It is too much of a risk, and one I won’t allow you to-”

“White,” Blue said. “If Pink says she will take care of this organic problem of hers alone, and the starting point of that is to make this zoo, then...I think we should allow it. As long as Pink can give us a _very_ good explanation as to why it should exist. Right, Pink?”

“What? But you were the one who suggested-” Pink started, before the look on Blue’s face indicated that this was the only way she was going to win this conversation. She promptly shut up and then put on her best formal tone, one she had spent hours practicing in the mirror beforehand. “...Yes. Of course. I think we should create the zoo...for study.”

“Study?” White said quizzingly. “Pink. These are lower-life forms we’re talking about. What could we possibly have to learn from them? What point is there to studying them if anything we learn is pointless?”

“Because...they’re intelligent!” Pink pointed out. “Yellow told me that you once encountered an intelligent organic species that caused the shattering of hundreds of Gems. And since I believe most organics are the same when it comes to the most basic components, so maybe these humans in the zoo could be used to understand how organics work, and that information could be used in our favor if we ever come across a moderately advanced species again that attempts to fight back.”

“So what you’re saying is...” Yellow started. “We should take these creatures and observe them, and _hopefully_ that will give us some information on any _weaknesses_ that these filthy things as a whole might have in the extremely rare occurrence that we find another that is space-faring?”

“Yes, that’s exactly what I’m saying.” Pink beamed. “Any war with them will be over before it even begins if we know how most effectively to get rid of them. No Gems will be shattered, and Gemkind won’t be disgraced at any sort of defeats or casualties that we might suffer under them. And…” She turned towards White and played her trump card. “...It will show the perfections of the empire, and the imperfections of the _lower-life_ forms.”

“...”

“So...is this okay, White? Can I make my zoo?”

“...Very well,” White said, after a brief moment of thought. “You are correct, Starlight. The study of these humans could be useful to us down the line, and any future wars will indeed show that our empire is perfect and unbreakable, even against the most determined of foes. I agree with your proposal. This zoo of yours can be built. However, you must build and design it yourself, with no help from the others. Understand, _Pink?”_

“I understand. Thank you, White.” Pink said, before gulping and asking one last question. “By the way...why did you come here, instead of just appearing on a communication screen like Blue and Yellow?”

“In case I needed to do this,” White said, and the Pearl’s eye flashed for a second before fading away. “But I am happy that it did not have to come to that. But next time, don’t expect me to be so lenient, Starlight. I only allowed this because it is your first colony, and you made a good case. In any future ones, I expect you to eradicate the organics as needed. With no hesitation. Understand?”

“I...understand, White,” Pink said, clenching her teeth together. “You won’t have to worry about that.”

“Good, good…” White said softly, before floating backwards down the stairs. “Then I will be taking my leave now, Starlight. I hope that I don’t have to hear about this again. However...you should know...that if you complete this colony, create your zoo, go to another one, and attempt in _any way_ to save organics _there…”_ White’s smile then grew even wider, as if she was taking great pleasure in what she was saying. “...Then I will send a fleet of ships to destroy that zoo and any organics you have inside, along with all _your_ Gems that _you_ will station there. Do you understand me clearly?”

“...Crystal.”

“Good,” White said for the final time, and without a moment’s hesitation, she drifted out of the room. Pink waited a minute or so until a large white orb appeared outside the window of the moon base and floated until it hit the horizon and disappeared, evidently traveling wherever White’s ship was parked. After a few tense seconds, she flopped down in her chair and breathed an immense sigh of relief, with the other two Diamonds doing the same.

“How did she even get here without the base’s sensors picking it up?” Pink asked, towards no one in particular. “Did she really move that orb halfway across this moon just to sneak up on me like that?”

“I wouldn’t put it past her…” Blue mumbled. “Although I am glad we came to a solution, Pink. Now we can create that zoo, grab a few humans, and forget that any of this ever happened. Right?”

“...”

“Pink?”

“Right,” Pink said. “We’ll just forget about it.”

“Well, if you two are finished, then I will be taking my leave,” Yellow said, sounding annoyed with the whole situation. “As White said, I will be taking no part in the construction of this human zoo, and if your organic problem is solved, Pink, then there is no reason for me to waste my time here. Goodbye. And next time, Pink, when you have a problem, it better not be about these creatures. Because if it is…” The screen Yellow was on faded and sizzled out, although her voice remained for a moment more. “...Then I’ll come to Earth and burn away the entire surface until there’s nothing left for _anything_ to live on.”

And with that, Yellow vanished, the pedestal her screen was projected from switching off and reverting back to its natural full white coloring. Pink sighed and sat back in her chair, before glancing up at Blue. A question in her eyes, said without any words. And Blue was more than happy to answer it.

“Don’t worry. I’ll help you with the zoo behind their backs.” Blue said. “Such an enormous project shouldn’t be made by you and you alone. All the capturing, and studying, and the needs of those creatures...if you like, I can do it all myself, and make it look like you were the one to create it.”

“That’d be great,” Pink said, although there was a hint of disdain in her voice. “Thanks, Blue.”

“Anything for you, Pink. And, ah…”

“You don’t have to say anything about the Tower,” Pink muttered, knowing full well that Blue was about to spout some half-assed apology. “I don’t care about it.”

“Oh. Well good.” Blue said. “Then goodbye, Pink. Good luck with your colony. I’ll be calling back soon so you can inform me of where to best find these humans. But as for right now, I have other futures to attend to.”

And with that, Blue vanished just like Yellow, and the video ended a second later, leaving Steven sitting there with an intrigued expression on his face. He thought about everything he had just seen, before shrugging and deciding that it really wasn’t important. Sure, it was interesting that Pink had wanted to save every organic and had considered moving them _all_ off-world (was there a reason Pearl hadn’t told him about that?), as well as the fact that White attempted to mind-wipe her just like she had done to Blue, Yellow, and probably countless other Gems throughout history. Also, she could erase memories? That was new. But if this was the case, then what exactly was she planning to do to Pink Steven if she managed to possess him…?

Steven shook his head and got this thought out of his head. It could come later. He quickly scrolled down the rest of the page, as it was mostly more gibberish that he couldn’t understand, and he was about to turn off the cube entirely and grab a new one when-

“Please enter credentials for access.”

“AH! What the-!” Steven started, jumping away in shock from the device at the sudden sound of the electronic voice. He backed up until he was a few feet away and stopped, fully realizing what the voice had said and wanting to remain cautious unless it electrocuted him or something in the chance that he didn’t have “credentials”.

“Please enter credentials for access.” It repeated, and Steven gulped before slowly stepping forward and tapping the screen, realizing why the cube was asking for such a thing. There was another video at the very bottom of a file, a screen of static covering the “thumbnail”, and showing nothing else. 

“Why would I need credentials?” Steven wondered aloud. “Does it not recognize me as a Diamond or something? I mean, I’m not complaining, but still…”

Steven then tapped the video screen, and a small icon appeared in front of it that looked like a microphone. 

“Please say password to gain access.” It requested, and Steven was immediately left dumbfounded. Assuming his mother had created this file, it would have to be something related to her right?

“Uh...Pink?” He tried, leaning in to make sure it captured his whole voice.

“Access denied.”

“Dang it. No, that would be too obvious.” Steven said, chiding himself. “Hmm...Pearl?”

“Access denied.”

“Oh, come on. She’d totally make that the password!” Steven complained, before settling down. “Okay. Think. It’s her file. It can’t be _too_ obvious. What would she put? Lion? No, he probably came thousands of years after she made this. Earth? Eh...too obvious again. Hmm…” He hummed, before leaning in again. “Screw the Diamonds?”

“Access denied.” The machine repeated, although, for some reason, Steven thought he could hear a giggle at the end of that voice.

“Of course.” He sighed, before a realization hit him in the face. “Wait. Why would she want a file restricted _just to her?_ What’s in here that she would want to hide from everyone else?” Steven then contemplated all this for a second more, before taking a deep breath and leaning in for the final time. “Rose.”

“Access granted.” The cube replied, and Steven sucked in his breath. The video loaded for a second before taking over the full screen, but this time Steven didn’t sit back. Instead, he sat forward with his head only a foot away, fully captivated by whatever he was about to witness. And it was a great surprise when the static faded and the first frame came into view, looking like _this_ video had started off directly after the end of the last one.

“So, that didn’t go so well,” Pearl said, to which Pink didn’t respond. “But look on the bright side, My Diamond! That zoo will be created. Not all Earth life will be lost. Only...errr...most of it.”

“If that’s your attempt at humor, Pearl, I can say that I don’t find it funny,” Pink muttered, facepalming and resting her elbows against the console.

“It wasn’t meant to be so, My Diamond,” Pearl said quickly. “I was just trying to be optimistic.”

“There’s nothing to be optimistic about here,” Pink said. “And Pearl...you don’t have to call me “My Diamond” every time you speak. I’ve already told you this.”

“Ah…” Pearl said nervously, briefly looking away. “I apologize, I wasn’t sure if you were serious or not, My...I mean, Pink Diamond.”

“Well, I suppose those are the drawbacks when half of the lines that come out of your mouth in front of others aren’t meant to be taken seriously…” Pink sighed, leaning back in her chair. “But how _did_ White get here without us sensing it? Even if she parked that ship of hers halfway across the moon, the sensors should have picked it up.”

“Perhaps she parked the ship even further than that,” Pearl suggested. “She has the patience to move the orb for hours, or even days to get here without being detected. I wouldn’t put it past her.”

“I wouldn’t either,” Pink said. “But hopefully it doesn’t happen again. Especially considering all the things I’m going to be saying to myself about her.” She then looked around nervously and gulped again. “You don’t think she has cameras in here, do you? Watching us all the time with some cutting-edge technology?”

“She did construct this base for you…” Pearl said. “And it would explain how she always seems to know what you’re calling the other Diamonds for, even when she’s not invited to said meetings. Which is...every time.”

“Don’t regret that. As you just saw, even the simplest of encounters with her can end in total disaster. I also came close to having my memory wiped!” She exclaimed, like Pearl _hadn’t_ been there to witness the whole thing. She shuddered and continued, clearly unnerved by the experience. “I’ve seen what she’s done to Blue and Yellow when they’re under her control. Just like they locked me in the Tower for punishment, _she_ took over their bodies for who knows how many hundreds of years until they “learned their lesson”. I asked them what it was like. Once.”

“And what happened?”

“They threw me in the Tower...for ten straight years. I was so weak and light-deprived by the end of it that I could barely _walk.”_ Pink explained. “I spent a full week in my room, recovering.”

“I think I was more disturbed by how quickly she jumped to that option,” Pearl commented. “I think she’s growing tired of your antics, she’s just not showing it. Or maybe she’s disappointed in you. I…” She then paused and gazed at the ground. “I’m not sure what her full reasoning is. But she seemed more than eager to do it, that I can’t say with certainty.”

“She’s always been like that. She may put on an emotionless smile at every second of the day, but deep down I’m sure she’s a sadist.” Pink complained. “The happiest I’ve ever seen her was when I told her that the first kindergarten on Earth was complete. And her smile grew wider at the exact _second_ I mentioned that it had destroyed all organic life in the area. And I've seen her sentence hundreds of Gems to death with a similar joy. I’m not sure if she’s happy because she sees those things as “imperfections”, or if she just enjoyed watching other beings suffer.”

“I think it could be both,” Pearl said. “But I think we should get back to what’s most concerning. What are you going to do now?”

“...”

“My Diamond?”

“...”

“Pink?”

“I don’t know.” Pink finally blurted out. “There. I said it. I don’t know what I’m going to do. I can’t order for the zoo to be canceled because it means that even _if_ I don’t miraculously save all life on Earth, that at least _some_ of it will survive. So I’ll just let Blue take some humans and put them there, even if it makes me furious. Ripping them away from their homes and families like that…actual _caring_ families...I hate the thought of it.”

“I suppose it was the best-case scenario though,” Pearl said. “I’m surprised that White managed to get talked back into allowing it. As you mentioned, she enjoys watching others squirm with fear and pain. Even if that zoo is for “study” I’m sure she’s going to find _some_ way to hurt the organics inside.”

“Not going to happen,” Pink said defiantly. “When it’s finished construction, I’m going straight back to Homeworld and telling White myself. That if she does _anything_ to it or the organics without consulting me first, then I’ll spill the entire Homeworld archives out to the masses.”

“Won’t she just possess you and mind-wipe you?” Pearl asked. “A threat has to be credible for it to actually take effect. By the time you’d have reached the archives, she’d have hit you with her eye beams ten times over.”

“I know,” Pink said. “I’ll figure that part out when it comes to it. Or just think up a less insane threat. But regardless, it will be something that’ll ensure she won’t touch anyone here. Only Blue and I will be allowed. As for Yellow...well, I don’t think she’s going to take an interest in the first place.”

“I wouldn’t be so sure about that,” Pearl said. “The whole reason she went along with White and approved it was because of the “study” part. While it may have been Blue’s Gems that were defeated by those organics, she is still deeply ashamed by what happened because of how it made the empire look as a whole. Anyone could tell that she doesn’t want something similar happening, especially to one of _her_ colonies. And if those humans would help her with preventing something like that from happening, then I’m sure she’ll be more intrigued by whatever “data” we get from them than anyone else.”

“That’s true...” Pink mumbled, before looking away. “I just hope _Blue_ doesn’t try to do anything with the organics…”

“I’m sure _she_ won’t. Not without your approval first.” Pearl said. “But...overall...what are you going to do now? Are you going to finish colonizing the planet? Exterminate all organic life?”

“Of course not,” Pink said. “I think...I need to think.” She sighed. “A way out of this. I need a way out…”

“What do you mean?” Pearl asked. 

“I mean I want to get out of _all of this,”_ Pink said. “Being a Diamond. Colonizing planets. Getting locked in that tower. Just...everything! I can’t stand it anymore! I begged for my own colony for years, but now that I see what Gems are doing to planets...I regret ever asking in the first place. I have to come up with a way. A way to ensure that I don’t have to be a Diamond anymore!”

“But how?” Pearl asked. “I don’t think you can just quit being a Diamond, or the colony at all. If you do, then White will come in and finish the job herself.”

“You’re right...I can’t just quit.” Pink asked. “But what else is there? What could I _do_ to-”

Pink then stopped, her eyes brightening up like an idea had come to mind. She froze in place, still as a statue, her mouth locked open on the word she was just about to say.

“Pink? My Diamond?” Pearl asked, stepping closer. “Are you okay?! Did White-”

“I got it,” Pink said. “I know what I can do. What _we_ can do.”

“What...we can do?” Pearl asked nervously, as Pink lifted herself up from her chair and walked towards the Gem. Pearl didn’t move a muscle as Pink approached and then crouched down, putting them both at eye level. She stuck out both her hands and grabbed Pearl by the shoulders, before staring at her, her irises swimming with stars.

“Pearl,” Pink said, her voice tingling with excitement.

“Let’s become...the _both of us_...someone entirely _new.”_

And then the screen cut to black.

And Steven made a sound of disappointment that could be heard throughout the entire room. He let out a groan as the image of his mom and Pearl faded away, and grabbed the cube in anger, shaking it around like a baby with a rattle.

“Come on! Just when it was getting good!” He complained, before sighing and placing the cube back on the shelf. “Seriously, that conversation between the two of them had way too many loose ends. It was like they switched topics completely halfway through!” 

The cube didn’t respond to his complaint, only continuing to show the now blank screen. He let out another groan before tapping the top, causing the entire thing to vanish and the area to be bathed in mostly darkness again. He gingerly placed the cube back where it once sat and then grabbed another, staring at it blankly for a few seconds.

“Okay.” He said to himself. “That took _way_ too long. This time, if I find any videos, I’m just going to see if I can fast-forward through them and find anything that looks like the lab, or another argument between Pink, or something like that. Anything that could point to clues.”

Steven then tapped the top of the cube and it opened up, although this time the screen looked much different than the last one. There was no text, only a single video. Steven looked at it, bemused, for a few moments before tapping it and getting ready to fast forward in case it turned out to be another useless thing.

However, once the video loaded and he saw what was on the screen, he froze in place and immediately felt like he was going to throw up.

Because there, he saw an image of his mother in her room on Homeworld, and Volleyball standing next to her. And her skin, just like his had been for months, was glowing a bright pink.

And worst of all, the crack that covered one of Volleyball’s eyes was not there, in its place a perfectly normal one.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't we all just love painful memory moments in Steven Universe? Such fun. And speaking of fun, I had a lot of that while writing this, especially the lines for old White. I hope I got her personality down correctly...but like with Spinel, that's up for you to decide. But the next chapter will have more painful flashbacks, so we got plenty of those to look forward to!
> 
> Until next time.


	34. Obsession

“ARGHHHHH!”

“My Diamond! What’s wrong?”

“Nothing, Pearl, it’s...nothing.”

“My Diamond, it is clearly not nothing. What is happening? I’m worried.”

Pink Diamond, glowing a bright color the same hue as her skin, turned to look at her Pearl, who was staring up at her with wide, worried eyes. She wasn’t crying, exactly, but Pink could see that she was on the verge of tears. Her hands were entwined together and placed behind her, while her stance was tall and polite, still managing to be respectful despite how weary she looked. And while Pink wanted to keep her problems to herself this time, she couldn’t resist Pearl’s gaze. With a heavy sigh, she flopped into a chair constructed by the Pebbles and facepalmed, wishing for all of this to go away.

“I…” She started. “It’s the other Diamonds, Pearl. I asked them for a colony again, and they didn’t give it to me. I’ve proven myself time and time again, showing them that I can and _will_ take care of a colony and expand our Empire, but they never listen! Blue just says I’m not ready, Yellow complains that I’m being childish, and White…” Pink scoffed and looked out at her window, towards White’s ship, which was parked stoically in the distance. “...well, one could say that she just doesn’t listen at all. Always calling me by that annoying nickname. Always smiling no matter how much I yelled. Sometimes I wonder if there’s even a semblance of a normal Gem in there, and not just a cold, unflinching machine.”

“My Diamond…” Pearl said. “I think you are letting the other Diamonds get to you too much. I do not mean to complain, but it seems like every other second of your time is spent complaining about them. I am concerned that it is not healthy. All this anger is not good for you. Sometimes I fear…” She gulped. “...that soon _you_ will disappear, and all I will be left with is a Gem who doesn’t want to play with me like she always has, doesn’t want to tell jokes or stories or anything else. My Diamond.”

“Oh, Pearl…” Pink said. “That won’t ever happen. I won’t stop playing with you, or telling my jokes or stories. Those are the best parts of my day after all. The only time I manage to get any leisure…”

“Then why do you insist on complaining, My Diamond?” Pearl asked. “If that is the best part of your day, then why do you do _any_ of your duties in the first place?”

“Because I have to. And also because I want to prove myself.” Pink said. “This is still about getting a colony. Maybe when I do that, and I make a successful one, with thousands of Gems being made, the others will finally treat me with respect. They’ll finally act like I’m one of _them_ and not just a nuisance.”

“My Diamond, I am positive that they do not think of you as a nuisance,” Pearl said, before frowning and looking away. “Well, I’m not sure if I can say that of _Yellow_ , but I know for certain that Blue cares for you greatly.”

“Cares. Treats me like a child, maybe.” Pink said. “I’m a Diamond. More powerful than almost any other Gem in existence. But Blue treats me like a _Ruby,_ disciplining me and locking me away when I do something bad. I can’t count the total number of years I’ve spent in that abysmal tower. It feels like my life is being drained when I’m in there. And _you…”_ She turned towards Pearl. “...They just bubble you away when it happens, like you’re some kind of object and not a totally independent Gem on your own!”

“But, My Diamond…” Pearl said. “All they see me as is an object. Like every other Gem I’ve known, except you. That’s almost to be expected. And please don’t get angry over that! Bubbling is not that bad! I don't even remember any of it! I just...vanish in one second and wake up the next! It’s almost instantaneous!”

“Still,” Pink said. “They don’t have to do that. They could allow you to stay in here with the Pebbles. At least _they_ get to be spared.”

The Pebbles, upon hearing Pink call their name, crawled out from the walls and the ceiling, looking up at her to see if she needed help with anything. Pink spotted them almost instantly and smiled, before waving them away.

“Thanks, but I don’t need anything right now. Just venting.” She said, and the Pebbles all nodded before disappearing back into their holes. Pink’s smile then faded as fast as it had come, and she looked back out the window, at Homeworld’s surface, at White’s ship.

“My Diamond,” Pearl said, with a heavy sigh. “I am sure that you will get a colony eventually. It’s only a matter of time.”

“You’ve said that at least _twenty_ times.” Pink pointed out. “And each time, I wait a year or so to see what they have to say. And each time, they tell me that I’m not ready. What do they even define as ready? Do they think I’m going to magically change one day? So they think I’m going to be a new person the next morning? Cruel and cold and mean like me? Or worse…” She gulped and grit her teeth. “...Do they want me to be like _her?_ Like White? An emotionless thing that enjoys hurting other Gems?”

“I am sure that they do not want you to be like White,” Pearl said, before smiling. “Based on what I’ve seen, one White is more than enough for the likes of Blue and Yellow…”

“...Was that a joke, Pearl?” Pink asked.

“Just trying to lighten the mood, My Diamond. Did it...help?”

“...Maybe a little bit,” Pink said. “And I suppose you’re right about that. They seem to dislike her just as much as I do at times. I suspect it’s because of how she punishes _them..._ and if there’s _one_ thing I’m grateful for, it’s that _that_ isn’t my punishment when I screw up. I hate the tower, I hate it almost more than anything, but it’s definitely preferable to White making me a puppet for a thousand years or so.”

Pearl shuddered at this reference, fully recalling the one time she had seen White blast Blue and Yellow with her eyes beams right in front of Pink and her. They had been arguing with White one second, and the next their bodies were slowly turning a grayish-White hue, their faces frozen in agony as they cried out in pain. A moment later they froze and took the exact same stance White had, both of _their_ Pearls having a look in their face that was a mix between horror and “oh god, not again”. As for Pink, she was mostly, “oh god, not again”, although there was definitely some fear in there as well. White then left without saying another word, the two possessed Diamonds following her. The three remaining Pearls and one Diamond all looked at each other before leaving, Yellow and Blue Pearl heading in the direction of their respective Diamond’s palaces. 

This was the only time Pink’s Pearl ever witnessed such an event, as afterward Pink never took her along to a meeting that involved the other Diamonds. Pearl didn’t know why, although it was likely because Pink feared that if one day _she_ got blasted by White, then something awful might happen to Pearl. Bubbling, as she had mentioned earlier. Which really wasn’t awful short-term, or any sort of term, considering that like Pearl said, it almost felt instantaneous.

But back in the present, Pearl was done contemplating what Pink had said and was ready to respond, hoping that she could get her Diamond to calm down.

“I suppose that is true, My Diamond.” She said. “But like I was mentioning, they can’t hold a colony off of your forever. One day they have to give it to you. You’ve waited thousands and thousands of years, with _me_ witnessing it all besides you, for this to happen. And each time you ask, they consider it for a moment longer. Eventually, they will give in and give you your colony, My Diamond. You just have to wait a little while longer.”

“Pearl, when did you become my therapist?”

“When you requested I try to be, approximately 4237 years ago,” Pearl said. 

“...Huh. Yeah, I did do that.” Pink sighed. “But how _much_ longer? You’re right. I’ve waited thousands of years. Even for a Gem, that’s a decent amount of time. I’ve been absurdly patient with them, all the yelling and screaming and tantrums aside.”

“Maybe you should try...not doing that, My Diamond?” Pearl recommended. “You did say that they treat you like a child. Maybe if you don’t throw all these tantrums and...ah, act like one, then they won’t see you as one any longer. It’s only common sense.”

“I guess…” Pink said, internally chuckling at how much leeway she had given Pearl when it came to sharing her thoughts. “But I tried that once. It was one of the hardest things I ever had to do. I kept it up for five hundred years, and I don’t think they even noticed. And if they did...they didn’t show it.”

Pearl then let out a sigh, not sure what else to say at this point. As stated before, Pink had employed her as her “therapist”, but when it came to the more complex issues, Pearl tended to drive herself into a corner. She wasn’t made for this after all. No Gem was. In fact, therapist was just a word Pink had invented and tried to get White to turn into an actual job, only for the monarch to claim, “Oh, Starlight, Gems don’t need help with their “personal” problems. If they are unable to work due to internal thinking, then they will be rejuvenated. It’s as simple as that”. 

Then again, _most_ Gem problems brought to White seemed to end with someone being shattered/rejuvenated. It was really just her metier. 

“My Diamond,” Pearl repeated, stepping closer to her. “I think-”

However, before Pearl could say anything else, she was interrupted by a loud ringing sound, and they both turned to look at Pink’s communicator, which was flashing a bright White. The surface of Pink’s skin immediately turned pale like she had seen a ghost, and in an instant Pearl was at her side, knowing exactly who was calling and that _nothing_ could be out of place when the communicator was answered. Slowly, Pink grabbed the communicator and turned it to the side, and it floated up in the air and a screen appeared, which was completely filled with White Diamond’s face. The brightness being emitted from her, even from the screen, spread throughout the room and made every other source of light irrelevant, and in a matter of seconds, the inside of Pink’s room was grey and white just like the inside of White’s ship.

“Hello, Starlight,” White said jovially. “I hope I’m not interrupting anything.”

“You’re not.” Pink lied. “What is it, White? What do you need?”

“Well, I just received a troubling message from Blue and Yellow. It seems you asked them for a colony again, and when they denied you one, you ran off and said several impolite things about them in the process.” White explained. “Is this true, Pink?”

“It is.” Pink gulped, knowing it was foolish to try and tell a lie to White. “But I can explain myself. I’ve asked them _and_ you do many times for a colony, but you never give me one! It’s been thousands of years and I-”

“That’s quite enough,” White interjected. “Choose your words carefully, Pink. One shouldn’t waste time babbling. It’s not right for a Diamond to do such things.”

“Funny you should say that, considering the arguments I’ve heard between you, Blue, and Yellow…” Pink muttered. And if White overheard this she didn’t respond, only continuing to stare and smile. “Okay, White. I won’t babble. But you should at least try to hear me out.”

“That won’t be necessary,” White said. “I have “heard you out” dozens of times by this point, Pink, and each time the answer is the same. However, this time I noticed that you said something different that was a deviation from your previous arguments.”

“I did?” Pink asked, who remembered no such event occurring. “What did I say exactly?”

“You claimed that you were ready,” White said. “And while this is about par for your tantrums about getting a colony, you also mentioned that Blue and Yellow likely had colonies before they were even one year old, and thus it is unfair that you get none.”

“Oh yeah...I did mention that.” Pink said. “But it’s true, right? They had colonies at that age?”

“Oh, far from it, Starlight.” White beamed. “It was over fifty-thousands years before I allowed them to have a colony. I wanted to make sure they were ready, like you.”

“Fifty-thousand years?!” Pink gasped. “But I’m only fifteen thousand years old! Are you seriously going to make me wait that long to-”

“Possibly,” White interjected. “I am still deciding. However, Pink, the point of this call is to inform you once and for all that no matter how much you beg, you will not be getting a colony anytime soon. So it will be better for everyone if you stop asking and just let us inform you when we think the time is right. It worked for Blue and Yellow, and I’m sure it will work for you.”

“I’m not like Blue and Yellow,” Pink said. “I’m not sure I can wait that long! I-”

“Pink…” White said softly, although it came out as a hiss. “Are you disobeying my commands? The decision that has already been made? Do you want to take this further and challenge me to undo it?”

“I…” Pink said, suddenly terrified. “...No. I don’t.”

“Good,” White said. “Then we agree. Any arguments of yours from now on will be ignored, and that is final. Now, do you have anything left to say, Pink? That _isn’t_ about getting your first colony?”

“...No.”

“Very well. Goodbye, Starlight.” White said, and with that she vanished, the room slowly regaining its pink hue as the light that White had infested it with began to dwindle away. For a moment, Pink didn’t move, simply staring at the place where the screen once was, as if looking into oblivion. Pearl gulped and nervously approached her, unable to predict what her Diamonds reaction might be to that.

“My Diamond?” She said. “Are you-”

“THAT’S IT!” Pink screamed, stomping her foot down on the ground and creating a giant crater at least two feet in diameter. The shockwave from the blast threw Pearl onto her back, but she was on her feet again in a moment, knowing that she had to calm Pink down before she started wrecking even _more_ of her palace.

“My Diamond!” She said. “Please calm down! You won’t want-”

“I don’t care!” Pink said. “Not anymore! After all that asking, after all those arguments, after all the cases I made for why I should get a colony, White just swoops in and says I’m not old enough and that I should just forget it. Are you kidding me?! Does this mean that it was pointless from the beginning?! Was there absolutely zero chance that I was ever going to get _anything?!_ And if so, why did she wait until now to reveal it?! Does she enjoy watching _me_ suffer like everyone else?!”

“My Diamond, I’m sure none of those things are true!” Pearl said, stepping forward again and standing at Pink’s side. “I’m sure White has her own reasons. Yes, this incident might show that they never planned to give you one in the first place, but it also means that your cries haven’t gone in vain! _And_ it means that...ah…”

“Means _what,_ Pearl?” Pink asked. “What else does it mean?”

“I...I’m not-”

“You don’t know.” Pink sighed. “I suppose that’s to be expected. Don’t blame yourself, Pearl. It’s fine if you don’t have an answer. I don’t have one either. But I just...agh!” She yelled, her skin now glowing. “I can’t believe they would do this to me! I’ve proven myself! If they’re upset about the tantrums, then they can get them to _stop_ by giving me a colony! Can’t they see that?!”

“I’m sure they do, My Diamond…” Pearl said. “But perhaps-”

“No. No. No perhaps.” Pink growled, now glowing so bright that Pearl almost had to turn away to shield her eyes. “No buts, no perhaps, no maybes, no _none_ of that! I’ve heard those words too often as of late, and I’m sick of it! I just wish...I just wish...I JUST WISH THEY COULD TAKE ME SERIOUSLY!”

And with this scream, Pink let out an enormous shockwave of energy, so loud that it could be heard from a hundred miles away. Pearl, being right next to Pink at the time, was thrown backward again, but this time she was slammed against the wall and poofed on impact, where her Gem landed behind a nearby chair. Said chair, however, like everything else in the room, was also sent flying, smashing into the walls and ceiling and shattering to pieces on impact. The ground cracked under Pink’s feet, and these cracks traveled across the surface of her entire palace, making it look like a great earthquake had struck it. Gems just outside screamed as they were blasted off their feet, a few even barreling off platforms and sent falling into the great depths of Homeworld below. It was an awesome show of power...and even more frightening to witness.

And then it was over. Pink was left standing alone, the glow fading as the energy surrounding her form faded away. Her room was an absolute mess, if it could even be called that anymore. The ceiling was nothing but a giant hole, the walls were practically non-existent, and the floor looked like ocean waves, violent and messy and unstable, chunks crashing into each other. She looked around the room, shocked into silence by what she had created. The anger inside her dispersed in a second as she noticed the absence of one person, their name leaving her lips with a cry.

“P-pearl!” She yelled. “Pearl! Where are you! Where did you go?! Pea-”

***

Steven shut off the screen and let the cube drop to the ground.

He already knew what was going to happen next. 

She was going to find Volleyball’s Gem, it would reform, and then that crack would have replaced one of her eyes. Steven didn’t have a single doubt in him that _this_ incident was the one that created it. And likely made White take Volleyball away from his mother. He let out a sigh and picked up the cube before placing it back on the shelf, once again berating himself for getting too sucked in. After taking a brief moment to wipe some tears away from his cheeks, he moved onto the next cube.

And the next. And the next. And the next after that, skimming each one carefully. But time and time again, he just found more memories that he didn’t need, as well as no more password-encrypted files. After over two hundred cubes and one and a half-hour of searching, he had reached the end of the shelf. To both his left and right were the seemingly infinite dark hallways again, and now he knew that the shelf no more than ten feet away from him was the one that held all the information on Earth.

And he hadn’t even found the memories he was looking for. Part of him wanted to backtrack and keep searching, but the other part silently reminded him that that memory was _not_ what he came for, and that he should just drop it. After a fleeting moment of contemplation, Steven decided on the latter, effectively making the past couple thousand words completely pointless. So he straightened himself out and got ready to move forward, going over everything he had just seen in those memories...as well as one other thing that was beginning to bother him.

“I really should have gone to the bathroom before I arrived…” He mumbled, as he stepped forward before abruptly stopping, realizing that he was missing someone. Spinel. While he was perfectly fine with leaving the rubbery Gem to her own devices, he figured that it would be best if he got her out of Pink’s section sooner rather than later. The pile of cubes she had looked over must have reached the ceiling by now, if her speed at the start was anything to go by.

“Spinel!” He called out, cupping his hands together. “Come on! I’m going to the Earth section now!”

There was no reply.

“Spinel?”

Again, there was no reply. Steven was about to call out a third time, before he realized that it would just be better if he just went after her. Even if sound traveled differently in here like Yellow claimed, it was more likely than not that Spinel was too engrossed with the memory cubes to care. Steven started back down the way he came, jogging this time, and found Spinel after ten minutes. Like he had suspected, the pile was much larger, almost seven feet tall, although nothing like the height he had expected it to be at. Spinel was right next to it, a cube in her hands, which was displaying a tiny screen that Steven couldn’t make out.

“Finally.” He said. “Spinel, I’m going to check out the Earth cubes, and I think it’d be best for everyone if you came with me. So put down whatever you’re looking at and come on.”

“...”

“Spinel?” Steven said, hoping he hadn’t come off as impolite. “Okay, I’m sorry if I was rude there, it’s just that I’m worried-”

“She doesn’t even care…”

“What?”

“She doesn’t even care.” Spinel repeated, turning around and standing up to look at Steven. Her eyes were brimming with tears, and she revealed a large puddle on the floor that was no doubt caused by them. The cube in her hands, as far as Steven could see now, had a message displayed across it. Her fingers were trembling as she gripped it, along with every other part of her body.

“Whoa, Spinel, are you okay?” Steven asked, fully expecting her to be angry instead of sad. “What is it? What did you find?”

“...Yellow forgot to mention something.” Spinel said, after a brief hesitation. “I think that on every shelf, there’s a cube that tells you the whereabouts of everything you want to know _on those pairs of shelves_. Glowing white instead of...another color. That’s why this one caught my eye. There’s a sort of search bar thing at the top, and you type in whatever you’re looking for, and it tells you the exact location. I typed in your name, and what looked like a hundred beams of light shot out of it and headed towards the direction opposite to you. The ones placed there by the other Diamonds.”

“Disturbing as the fact is that they placed cubes about _me_ in Pink Diamond’s section, as well as the fact that this sounds _suspiciously_ like Boogle…” Steven started. “... _and_ that Yellow didn’t tell us about this thing, it would have made all that searching so much _easier_...why were you crying, Spinel? What did you find?”

“I searched up my name.” Spinel said. “And this is what I found.”

She then handed over the cube/screen to Steven, and he looked it over. On it was a single line of text that he couldn’t read, along with a search bar at the top that contained six unknown characters. He sighed and handed it back to Spinel, his unmoved reaction clearly confusing her.

“Spinel, I can’t read that. You’re going to have to translate it for me.” He revealed, and Spinel scoffed before suddenly lifting the cube up high and smashing it on the ground. Bright flashes of light exploded out of it as the sound of shattering glass rang out, and Steven moved away to cover his eyes from the scene. A moment later, all that remained were a few crystalline shards laying on the ground, one clearly furious Spinel, and a bewildered/slightly frightened Steven.

“Spinel, what are you doing?!” He asked, gesturing to the pieces. “If that was the only way to accurately find information in here, then why did you-”

“There was NOTHING!” She shrieked, and suddenly Steven understood everything. “It said, “no results found”. _No. Results. FOUND_. There’s not a single mention of me in _all_ of these cubes! Not one! Pink effectively erased me from existence! And not only that, but there’s no record of _any_ cubes ever _being_ here that had my name in them, so it’s not like there were ones that she later removed, she just _never put them here in the first place!_ She didn’t want anyone to remember me! _She_ didn’t want to remember! She never had a single thought about coming back to get me! I’m betting by the time she got to Earth, after leaving the Garden, she had forgotten entirely!”

Spinel then sank to the floor and melted again, her eyes staring up at Steven with pure rage and indignation. And even though he knew that the anger in the wasn’t directed at _him_ this time, it still shook him enough that he stepped away from her.

“Spinel…” He said, not sure what to say to this. “...I...I think we should leave this shelf. The both of us. I don’t think it’s good for either of us.”

“Of course it’s not!” Spinel said. “But I went looking anyway, and this is what I found! She...she just…” Spinel then reformed herself slightly, leaning up against one of the shelves. “...She didn’t care. She never did. Nobody cared. The song...the song…”

“Song? Which song?” Steven asked, recalling that Spinel had sung quite a few.

“The one in the Garden...about how she left me.” Spinel said. “I was right. Everything had gone on without me. No one was listening. No one cared. No one even knew I _existed_. And if I hadn’t seen that message, I’m sure it’d still be that way. Just me, standing in that horrible place, until the end of time.”

“...”

“...”

“...Spinel,” Steven said, for what felt like the thousandth time. “You shouldn’t care.”

“I...I _what?”_ Spinel asked.

“You shouldn’t care about Pink anymore,” Steven said, praying that he was saying the right thing here. “Maybe all that stuff is true. That she tried to erase you from history. But that’s not how it is now. You’re here. On Homeworld. With the Diamonds. I’m sure if you went to White’s or Blue’s or Yellow’s section of cubes, that you would find your name there. Describing how you came to Homeworld. This section...about my mother...it doesn’t matter. It’s in the past. The only new cubes in here are about me, which I’m going to request be moved later, so this place will be dead and dark. You shouldn’t...well…” Steven then started faltering on his words, running out of things to say. Spinel noticed almost immediately and groaned, fed up with his pointless attempts to cheer her up.

“Steven, stop. If you don’t know what to say, then don’t say anything at all.” Spinel sighed. “I don’t blame you, okay? I’m not angry at you. I’m just so furious with her again! Just like I was at the start! All the anger and frustration you helped me get rid of after I almost destroyed your planet is just creeping back in the longer I stay in this place! And while you’re right, I should just leave, I should just _let go_ of all this and forget her...I can’t. It’s stuck with me. And I’m worried that I’ll never be able to forgive her, no matter what I do.”

“...”

“...”

“Okay. I’m done.” Steven said, before standing up and grabbing Spinel’s arm. She looked at him in surprise before he started walking off, and she followed him nervously, wondering where he was taking her.

“What are you doing?” She asked. 

“If you can’t come out of this... _hell_ by yourself, then I’m dragging you out of it,” Steven said. “I know this isn’t like me to use force, but I’m not sitting here and waiting. If you can’t get away from Pink alone, then I’ll do it for you. I’m taking you out of this section, we’re going to the Earth one, finding the white cube, looking _everything_ up about the Traitor, and then we’re leaving this place and hopefully never coming back. I’ve wasted enough time here and I don’t want to waste any more.”

“But, Steven!” Spinel protested. “You told me yourself that simply walking away from your problems like this isn’t the way to handle things! You told me that we shouldn’t worry about them and try to forget them, but you had a whole procedure for how to properly do that! This isn’t it!”

“Yeah. It isn’t.” Steven said. “But the Gems are probably already out looking for me, and I have to find this information as fast as I can so I can solve this whole Mirror debacle and cure Connie’s amnesia. If I don’t go fast enough, they’ll find me here and take me home.”

“...It sounds like you didn’t think this whole thing through.” Spinel commented, yanking her hand away from him but continuing to follow. “If you’re not supposed to be here, why didn’t you just _ask_ your friends to come here in your place and look up that same information?”

“Because I didn’t think the Diamonds would let them in here,” Steven replied. “The Homeworld archives. Every bit of knowledge Gemkind has to offer. And it’s _literally_ as fragile as I imagined, as you demonstrated with that cube back there. If they’re actively communicating with each other now, they may be more trusting, but I don’t think they’re trusting enough to let them in _here_ of all places.”

“They’re trusting enough to talk to them in a private Diamond meeting, one that I’m not allowed to attend.” Spinel pointed out. “If they don’t trust them enough to not let them in here, then why would Yellow allow my presence?”

“...Spinel, you’re not making this any easier for me.” Steven sighed, before deciding that enough was enough. “You want the truth, Spinel? Yeah. I didn’t think this all the way through. But at the moment, I only cared about Connie. Yes, I should have planned things out better. Heck, if I told the Gems about the situation and my plan, they might have _let_ me go. But it’s too late for that now. I don’t want to have to focus on the past right now. I’ve been doing too much of that lately, and all I want to do is keep moving forward until Connie is cured, Mirror is stopped, Pink Steven is freed, maybe, and I get a new therapist so I can put this whole mess behind me and start moving on with my life!” He exclaimed, before taking a moment to breathe. “So do you get it now, Spinel? I just want this to be ended as quickly as possible. Yeah, I’m taking a lot of risks and making a lot of stupid decisions. But hey, I’ve always done that, and hey, it worked out pretty well in the end, all things considered. But I’ve been put through horrific illusions, terrible nightmares, an actual event which almost made me nearly kill like twenty of my friends, and god knows how many near-death things I experienced during that fight with Jasper. I. Am. _Done.”_ Steven gasped.

For a moment, neither of them spoke, simply looking at each other while Steven panted for breath. A second later he kept speaking, somehow still not finished with his speech. “And I don’t want to have to put you through any of that. Or put anyone else through it. Not my friends, not the Diamonds, not you. And I guess that in the end...that’s why I went off alone. Because I need to _deal_ with this alone. So none of you can get hurt anymore on my behalf. Maybe I realized that subconsciously back at the house or maybe I’m only realizing it now, but either way, I guess that’s the truth.”

“...”

“So do you understand, Spinel?” Steven repeated. “My reasons for, as you said, “not thinking this through all the way”?”

“...Sure. I think I got more than enough.” Spinel said, nodding awkwardly. “But you are a pretty good rambler, Steven! I thought that was never going to end!”

“Neither did I.” Steven scoffed. “The entire time there was a little voice in my head telling me to keep going. I guess I just followed it a little too well.”

“...Hey, isn’t that-”

“No, it wasn’t the Other Side or Pink Steven, and it wasn’t them pretending to be my “brain” either,” Steven said, anticipating Spinel’s question. “One of them is stubborn and probably can’t talk to me at the moment, and the other is very dead, if Pinkie is to be believed.”

“...That’s not what I was about to ask.” Spinel replied, wondering how many times the things Steven was saying was going to make her pause before speaking. “Who’s the Other Side? Another friend of yours?”

“I...would not call it a friend, no,” Steven said dryly. “But that doesn’t matter. Sorry, I just...sorry. It’s just that I’m so used to everyone back on Earth asking questions about stuff like that, which they’ve been doing for literal weeks on end, so I guess my brain went into auto-pilot and-”

“Ah, you don’t need to explain, Steven!” Spinel said, back to her joyful self in half a second, which wasn’t even a new record. “From what I’ve seen of your friends, if I was cooped up with them for weeks I’d probably go crazy too!”

She then laughed, and Steven laughed alongside her for a few seconds, before realizing that she had basically just insulted them. “Hey...hey, wait, that’s not-”

“Anyway, the question I was going to ask was: isn’t _that_ the cube we’re looking for?”

“Huh?” Steven replied, before glancing to her right and following Spinel’s finger. And there, no more than a few feet away, was a cube on the shelf that was glowing a bright white, impeccably different from all the other cubes surrounding it. Steven paused for a moment, wondering if it would truly be this easy, before deciding not to shoot a gift horse in the mouth.

“...Yeah. It is.” He said, and without further ado, the hybrid stepped forwards and grabbed it off its resting place where it had sat for so many millennia. The cube glowed brightly in Steven’s hand, as if responding to his touch and his touch alone. He tapped the top of it and a similar screen to the one she saw earlier appeared, search bar and all. Tapping _that,_ a keyboard-esque sequence of numbers appeared, none of which Steven could read. Even though he had seen this coming, he sighed and handed it over to Spinel, who took it gingerly.

“I need you to type a few things in for me.” He requested. “Still can’t read any of that.”

“Okay!” She said enthusiastically, somehow already back to her old self, despite it sounding a little more...forced. “What do you need me to type? Name of the guy we’re looking for? The betrayer or something?”

“The Traitor. Although maybe you should add a bit more than that, considering that if you just type in Traitor, you’ll probably get a few thousand files about Rose.” Steven mumbled. He thought about it for a second before humming. “Okay. Type in “lab”. As far as my knowledge goes, the Lab they were made in was the only one on Earth, so anything should immediately go to that.”

“Gotcha.” Spinel said, and as she began typing it in, Steven looked at her curiously, a question on his mind, one that he wondered why he hadn’t thought of before. 

“By the way…” He started. “Where did you learn how to read and write...err, type in that old Gem language? Did the Diamonds teach you?”

“No, it was... _her.”_ Spinel said. “She wanted me to know it for whatever reason.” She chuckled and tapped what was presumably the “search” button. “Guess she was good for _one_ thing, eh?”

“Yeah...totally..” Steven said, and left it at that. He leaned over and looked at the screen, which was now displaying ten linked results. “What do each of these say?”

“Ermmm...we have a blueprint, a list of what Gems were stationed there, a record of construction, a list of successful experiments…” Spinel began listing. “Are any of those useful so far?”

“Two of them, maybe,” Steven said. “The one about what personnel were stationed there could be helpful if Yellow doesn’t find anything wherever she is, but what we’re here for is the successful experiments. Click on that.”

Spinel nodded and then tapped the link, and instantly a bright light shone out of the cube and pointed into the darkness at a slightly tilted angle. Steven and Spinel stared at it for a while before the former cracked his knuckles and sighed.

“Guess that’s where we’re going.” He said, before starting forward. “Come on, Spinel. Let’s get what we came here for.”

“What _you_ came here for really, but okay!” Spinel said cheerfully, leading Steven to believe that one of her traits was getting right back up and being overly happy after a traumatic or otherwise emotional experience. It had practically happened back on Earth, and he had just seen it in action _again_ here. Was that one of her powers due to her being created as a playmate? Being able to become happy no matter what?

For a brief second, Steven wished that he had been born with a Spinels Gem instead of a Diamonds, because that ability would have been _really_ useful in the past few months. But he didn’t, and never would, so instead he turned to the Gem who _did_ and tried to spark conversation, not in the mood to walk through the dark in silence again.

“So, Spinel, what else have you been doing while I’ve been gone?” He asked.

“What?” Spinel asked, before her eyes lit up. “You _really_ want to know? I thought you’d never ask! Whenever I tried to tell you in the past in those screen messages between you and the Diamonds that I interrupted, you always turned it off as quickly as possible! Are you saying you actually _want_ to hear about this?”

“...”

“...”

“...Yes?” Steven said, already having second thoughts.

“HEEEEEEEEE…” Spinel said, her entire body shaking with excitement. “Okay, so when I first got here the Diamonds tried to show me Pink’s room, but they didn’t go so well when I started trashing the place. So then they took me to the throne room and took me on a tour of the rest of the palaces. It was so fun! I got to see a bunch of Gems that I didn’t even know _existed_ , and then I got to play in that big pool of water that Blue has, had a conversation with a sentient comb, and then-”

“Wait, the comb is still there?” Steven asked. “The weird singing comb Blue has in her bath is still there?”

“Yeah. Why?”

“Oh my...I asked her to get rid of that!” Steven exclaimed, before backtracking. “Well, not _get rid of it_ , but like, set it free! That’s what we did with everything else like that! The living walls, statues, objects, anything else like that comb were all set free to do whatever! Why does she still have it?”

“Because maybe the comb _likes_ doing that?” Spinel suggested. “If I got to be in Blue’s hands all day, treated with as much care as possible, I wouldn’t be complaining! They’re so soft and big and gentle and...so many other things!”

“...Right,” Steven said, now giving Spinel an odd look. “Fine. I’ll ask her about it later. If the comb wants to stay, it can stay. I just...want the best life for everyone.”

“Oh, Steven, haven’t you realized by now that you can’t make _everyone_ happy with this whole schtick you’ve got going on?” Spinel asked, almost in a joking manner. 

“What?” Steven asked. “What do you mean by that? And furthermore, and no offense, but what would _you_ know about the Gems that don’t like what I'm doing, which is far and few between?”

_“Everyone_ knows!” Spinel said. “I see a new group of protesters right outside the palace every week! Always holding signs that have your face in them, with large red crosses going through it, yelling about how you’ve made Gemkind and the Diamonds weak, and _also_ complaining that you’ve taken away the “fun” of colonization!” She sighed. “Same thing every week with those bozos. Eventually, the Diamonds hear the commotion and they have to flee into the parts of Homeworld where no one goes anymore, all the abandoned kindergartens, but they come back eventually! They always do...and totally _ruin_ the mood!”

“There are protesters to my new system _on_ Homeworld? In plain sight?” Steven asked, stunned. “Wow. I was...not expecting that. I thought these guys only worked from the shadows, and even then, they were extremely careful not to make their existence known. For them to be doing this...it’s like they’re going against every tactic they used before.”

“Well, it probably didn’t help that their “leaders” have supposedly disappeared…” Spinel mumbled.

“Wait, what?”

“You haven’t heard?” Spinel asked, like Steven _wasn’t_ hearing about _all_ of this just now. “There are a bunch more rumors sprouting up that the leaders of the little Rebellion against you have vanished into thin air! Poof! Like that!” She exclaimed, out-spreading her arms. “Nobody knows where they’ve gone, and despite a _bunch_ of Gems trying to find out, they’ve come up empty. And without them, the C.G.A.S. doesn’t have any-”

“The C.G.A.S.?” Steven asked. “That’s what they're calling themselves? What does it even stand for?”

“The Collected Gems Against Steven.” Spinel said. “Kind of a lame-o name in my opinion, but hey, at least it’s short and easy to remember. But like I was saying, they’re not much without their leaders. They can’t organize properly, they don’t know how to steal ships like they used to, in fact, the only thing they _seem_ to be good at is yelling and running. And that’s because...that’s all I’ve seen them ever do now.”

“I see…” Steven said, wondering how many _other_ things he missed because of his constant shutout from Homeworld business. “Who was their leader? Or leaders?”

“An Emerald.” Spinel said, and Steven’s anxiety suddenly tripled. “High-ranking, I know. But most Gems with them are high-ranking ones who got all mad that they lost their positions. Power-hungry Gems. Ones that like giving orders. I’m sure you get it.”

“Yeah...totally,” Steven growled, as several things suddenly fell into place. “You know, Spinel, I don’t think we have to worry about trying to find out where the leaders of that rebellion went. I’m already aware of where Emerald is.”

“Really? How?” Spinel asked. “Did you use some weird mind-power to snuff her out? Propel your mental form across the galaxy? Or...heeeeeeey…” She said suspiciously, putting a hand to her chin. “If you already knew about Emerald, then how did you now know about the rebellion? Have you just been wasting my time or-”

“She’s working with Mirror,” Steven said flatly, and Spinel immediately fell silent. “She infiltrated my mind alongside them and she’s also partially responsible for getting my friend Connie hurt. The whole “accident” I mentioned. And while I and everyone else have mainly focused on Mirror for the past two weeks, I haven’t forgotten about Emerald. My family knows she’s working with them, but don’t really care because if we find Mirror, we find Emerald anyways.”

“...”

“...”

“Huh. That’s a lot to take in!” Spinel said, playfully elbowing him. “I guess that explains why she up and vanished! Saw a better opportunity to take revenge on you! I wonder what she’s doing now...if she went inside your head, she must have a pretty good relationship with this Mirror, knowwhatimsayin?”

“I don’t, actually. And thankfully.” Steven replied. “But I have to ask. How long ago did she vanish?”

“A few months.” Spinel said. “Which I guess means she’s been working with Mirror for that same amount of time. Hmm...oh! I have an idea!” She said joyfully. “Emerald seems to have gotten a job easily enough! What if _I_ try to find Mirror and offer up _my_ services? Then I can infiltrate them from within and take them all out when they least expect it! Like _that!_ She enlarged two of her fingers and snapped them, causing a small shockwave that made Steven cover his ears and some of the cubes nearby to shake. “Pretty good plan, eh? We can take them out and we _never_ have to worry about them every aga-”

“I don’t think that’s going to work,” Steven said. “Mirror almost definitely knows how devoted you are to me. How trusting. If you suddenly show up and pledge your allegiance to them, then they’ll know somethings up. And then you’ll just get shattered, and I don’t want that.”

“Really? But how would they even know who I was?” Spinel asked. “I haven’t been keeping a low profile, but I haven’t been broadcasting my voice across the galaxy either.”

Steven gave Spinel a look that let her know _exactly_ what he was asking without even having to open his mouth.

“Okay, fine, maybe I did try to take over that galaxy-messaging thing you’ve used a few times, but for good reason!” Spinel admitted. “I was going to throw a gigantic party on Homeworld with all the other Spinel’s out there, so I wanted them to all gather in the palace! I thought it would be fun…”

“Not sure if you would get that big of an attendance. Before you arrived on Earth, I hadn’t even _heard_ of your Gem type…” Steven said, before shaking his head. “But no. Joining Mirror’s crew is not a good plan.”

“Then what is a good plan?” Spinel asked, once again bouncing up and down with anticipation. “You gonna finds their ship, go in guns blazing, walk out with their head impaled on a spear or something-”

“Wha-NO!” Steven said, horrified by the Gem’s suggestion. “I want to _stop_ Mirror, not commit a murder that’s on par with horror movies that I’m not even allowed to legally see by myself yet! Where did you get _that_ idea from?”

“I don’t know. Just seems fair after everything they’ve done to you. And sometimes White talks like _she_ wants to do that.” Spinel said.

“Hold on, White said that she wants to do that to Mirror?”

“No. She just sounds like she does.” Spinel said. “All of the Diamonds do, really.”

Steven took a deep breath and looked away. “All the more reason to find Mirror first. Like I told you, I don’t want to kill them. I don’t think I’ve ever wanted to kill _anybody.”_

_“Nobody?”_ Spinel gasped, like wishing for the death of another was a common occurrence in her world.

“Yes. Nobody.” Steven repeated. “And I’ve been that way since the day I was born. Sure, maybe once or twice I’ve wanted to _hurt_ someone...but I can’t think of a time where I’ve yearned to commit murder.”

“I’m having trouble believing that. Not even me? On top of that injector? When I was literally destroying your planet?” Spinel asked.

‘Why is she so adamant on…?’ Steven thought, before sighing. “No, Spinel, I didn’t want to kill you then either. I knew what had happened to you. I understood why you were angry. If I had tried to shatter you then, then I would be no better than the person who left you in that Garden for thousands of years.”

Spinel gasped, and then all of a sudden she rested her arm back and slapped Steven straight across the cheek. He stopped where he was and stumbled backward, too shocked to react at first, before lifting a hand up to the red mark she had left and staring at Spinel like she was crazy.

“What the-SPINEL!” He shouted, now glaring at her furiously. “That actually really hurt! What the heck is wrong with you-”

“Don’t you _dare_ say you’re worse than her!” Spinel interjected, making Steven stop short. “Shattering me would not have made you worse than _Pink._ You’re better than her! I’m sure you always have been! And I’m not going to allow you to turn delusional and say that you’re not! Snap out of it, Steven!” She then grabbed his shoulders again, and Steven, seeing that she was probably about to start shaking him around like a rag doll for the _second_ time, quickly pushed her away. 

“Okay, okay.” He said, putting his hands in front of him defensively. “I’m not my mom. I’m better than her. There. Does that make you happy, Spinel?”

“Absolutely. Helps me know that you haven’t lost your marbles.” Spinel said, before tapping his nose. “Now come on! We’re almost to the cube!”

Without waiting for him to respond, Spinel ran off again, forcing Steven to follow her. He shook his head again and again as he tried not to lose sight of her, his cheek still stinging. 

“One of these days, Spinel, we _really_ have to get your Pink problems fixed…”

And that day would have to come later, because just as Spinel has claimed, the cube was just nearby. The light settled on one that was flashing a bright pink like a beacon, and instantly Steven knew that they had found it. The pair gingerly approached it and stopped, with Spinel looking at Steven expectantly. 

“...”

“...”

“Well, Steven?” She asked. “Aren’t cha gonna pop that thing open? Find everything you want to know about this Traitor guy?”

“Yeah, yeah…” Steven said. “It’s just that I didn’t expect it to be this easy.”

_“Easy?”_ Spinel asked. “We’ve been in here for hours and you call that easy?”

“Well...yeah,” Steven said. “All we’ve been doing is walking in the dark and looking at screens. It’s not like this has been hard. Just boring and redundant.”

“Huh. Good point.” Spinel said. “Ah well, if you won’t open it, then I will! It’s time we crack this box open! Find out all the secrets that the Lab was hiding!”

Spinel reached for the cube and snatched it up, before tapping the top and opening it. Part of Steven wanted to stop her, but he knew that the files inside were probably _filled_ with that old Gem language, so it would be better if she just read off of it and showed him the pictures when necessary.

“Okay.” He said, as Spinel opened the first file. “What do we have?”

“...”

“...Spinel?”

“...”

“Spinel, what are you-” 

“I think I understand now what that red stuff leaking out of you was in our fight…” Spinel mumbled, her eyes scanning the screen. Steven’s blood immediately went cold, and slowly he looked over and caught a glimpse of what Spinel was seeing.

And if he hadn’t already been a vegetarian, then those images certainly would _make_ him one. 

He and Spinel exchanged glances, looked at each other, and then back to the screen.

“Okay,” Steven repeated.

“I think we should just use the search bar for _this_ one.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Talk about an inefficient way of storing data. Cubes that can be shattered as easily as a glass cup. But that's what you get when you're overconfidence makes you think that breaking into a place is impossible...but anyway, sorry if this chapter felt dull or slow. There was a lot of talking and walking around and stuff, and there will be more of that in the future. But there will also be a few new things coming up...including the introduction of a new character, which should be exciting.
> 
> Until next time.


End file.
